/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Census time /jp/

Your gender:
Your age:
Your favourite anime series:
Your favourite VN:
Your favourite TV series:
Your favourite Movie:

[Anonymous No.]

Male
35
None, I like several but I don't put one above another among my favorites.
Galaxy Angel comes to mind
I dunno, Simpsons? Don't really watch TV anymore
Hmmmmm, again, several I like but I don't put one above another among my favorites.

[Sudo !Tohsaka8ks No.]

>survey
Nope.

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 24
Your favourite anime series: I don't know
Your favourite VN: Having only played 2 so far, Wanko
Your favourite TV series: I don't know
Your favourite Movie: I don't know

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: teh rei
Your age: teh rei
Your favourite anime series: teh rei
Your favourite VN: teh rei
Your favourite TV series: teh rei
Your favourite Movie: teh rei

shes cute thats why i call her: rei-chan

[Anonymous No.]

Census? Here's where you can stick your census, commie.

[Anonymous No.]

That’s it. I’m sick of all this "how can a sword cut lasters" bullshit that’s going on in Strike Witches right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut apart Neuroi beams with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a fully armored Neuroi with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why the Neuroi never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai witches and their katanas of destruction. Even in the Second Neuroi War, they targeted the witches with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the Strike Witches. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
- Can deflect Neuroi beams from all directions
- Can cut through an entire Neuroi hive in one strike
Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?
tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in Strike Witches, see my new stat block.

[Anonymous No.]

Reported for faggotry.

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 21
Your favourite anime series: Gurren Lagann
Your favourite VN: A tie between Chaos;Head and Fate/Stay Night
Your favourite TV series: Dexter
Your favourite Movie: Inception

[Anonymous No.]

anyone seriously responding to this is part of the normalfaggotry that lurks this board.

TV? What's that? I think I heard that several years ago. Movie?

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: F
Your age: 19
Your favourite anime series: Kanon (06)
Your favourite VN: FSN/ Sharin no Kuni
Your favourite TV series: Law & Order: SVU
Your favourite Movie: not big on movies

[Anonymous No.]

Male
14
Naruto
I don't play VNs
Invader Zim
Transformers 2

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275742
Any show that originally was aired an television. Most anime qualifies as it.

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 20
Your favourite anime series: All iterations of Gegege no Kitaro
Your favourite VN: Muramasa
Your favourite TV series: Does "Once Upon a Time... Life" count?
Your favourite Movie: Microcosmos

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 21
Your favourite anime series: LoGH
Your favourite VN: Umineko
Your favourite TV series: X-Files
Your favourite Movie: Aliens

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 20
Your favourite anime series: Monster
Your favourite VN: Ever 17
Your favourite TV series: Arrested Development
Your favourite Movie: Tough call. maybe Shawshank Redemption.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275763
Then why is there a separate area for anime?

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 19
Your favourite anime series: Legend of Galactic Heroes
Your favourite VN: Silver Chaos
Your favourite TV series: Stargate SG-1
Your favourite Movie: Blade Runner

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: (Mt)F
Your age: 22
Your favourite anime series: Currently GitS:SAC. I like the 'stand alone/complex' episode format.
Your favourite VN: Currently Umineko. This is really whatever I'm preoccupied with at the moment, though.
Your favourite TV series: I was never really one for TV. Maybe Poirot, I guess.
Your favourite Movie: Either Fight Club or Shawshank Redemption at the moment.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275703

Male
25
GTO
Bible Black dried me completely
Stargate SG-1
Star Wars: Empire strikes back

[Anonymous No.]

This is fucking sad.

[Anonymous No.]

Gender-Male
Age-18(19 in a few weeks)
Favorite Anime-Junjou Romantica
Favorite VN-YMK
Favorite TV show-Anything on Lifetime
Favorite Movie-See above

[ZUN !barYV1VtIA No.]

>>survey thread

ITT: identify the non-/jp/ers.

[Anonymous No.]

Gender: M
Age: 19
Anime: Not sure, Evangelion maybe
VN: 80% of me says Ever17, 20% says Sharin no Kuni
TV: None.
Movie: None.

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 19
Your favourite anime series: Honey & Clover
Your favourite VN: Clannad
Your favourite TV series: Six Feet Under
Your favourite Movie: I don't really watch movies.

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Female
Your age: 18
Your favourite anime series: Toradora
Your favourite VN: Hm... Kanon
Your favourite TV series: Fairly Odd Parents
Your favourite Movie: Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

[Anonymous No.]

- F
- 12
- Anime is for creepy otaku loosers
- Same
- Nothing on TV is worth watching
- Dunno

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 26
Your favorite anime series: Armored Trooper Votoms
Your favorite VN: Kanon
Your favorite TV series: Doctor Who
Your favorite Movie: 2001

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 22
Your favourite anime series: Cardcaptors? or maybe GitS
Your favourite VN: Clannad?
Your favourite TV series: House or big bang theory
Your favourite Movie: Fight club probably

[Parsee !EenvyP4Ug2 No.]

Your gender: Female
Your age: 12

;_;

[Anonymous No.]

Reported.

[Anonymous No.]

Where the fuck are you Akido spammer?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: Underage
Your favourite anime series: Aoi Bungaku
Your favourite VN: Saya no Uta
Your favourite TV series: I don't watch TV
Your favourite Movie: I don't really like movies

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 18
Your favourite anime series: Kara no Kyoukai
Your favourite VN: Tsukihime
Your favourite TV series: Uhh, Tom and Jerry
Your favourite Movie: Star Wars

[Anonymous No.]

...eh whatever, /jp/ is shitty today anyway
Your gender: Male.
Your age: 21
Your favourite anime series: Candy Boy
Your favourite VN: Kira Kira
Your favourite TV series: ...Firefly? Don't watch much TV shows though.
Your favourite Movie: Forrest Gump.
Favorite does not equal the one I consider the best, etc.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275860
There is so much shit right now, I'm still spamming the "I'm a girl" thread. Can't really do both.

[Anonymous No.]

>Your gender:
Male

>Your age:
18

>Your favourite anime series:
I don't watch anime

>Your favourite VN:
I haven't read a VN but I'll get to it one day

>Your favourite TV series:
Don't watch TV

>Your favourite Movie:
Don't watch movies

[Bernkastel !BernFAQk3E No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 69
Your favourite anime series: Panty & Stocking
Your favourite VN: Katawa Shoujo
Your favourite TV series: The Simpsons
Your favourite Movie: I don't know

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275878
What DO you do? Why are you even here?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275878
>Never read a VN
What are you doing on /jp/? Touhou all day errday?

[n00b64 !FbbmtHBgtc No.]

Oh god why do I bother, people are just going to hate me. OH WELL

Your gender: Male

Your age: 16

Your favourite anime series: prob Haruhi

Your favourite VN: only been playing one that I understand Kira*kira and loving it

Your favourite TV series: fuck TV, it full of shit. but then again, maybe the mentalist

Your favourite Movie: don't really have one. there are only good movies, meh movies, or shitty movies.

>in b4 reported for being under aged faggot

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 23
Your favourite anime series: LoGH
Your favourite VN: Baldr Sky
Your favourite TV series: Haven't watched TV in ages
Your favourite Movie: See above

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 23
Your favourite anime series: Rozen Maiden because nostalgia
Your favourite VN: Higurashi
Your favourite TV series: Takeshi's castle
Your favourite Movie: is directed by Sergio Leone or Ridley Scott. Can't get any further than this.

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: F
Your age: 21
Your favourite anime series: Clannad
Your favourite VN: Chaos;Head, Umineko
Your favourite TV series: Adventure Time
Your favourite Movie: Don't like movies.

inb4 attention whore, I don't care.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275876
Spamming a thread spammed by the OP isn't really useful.

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 18
Your favourite anime series: Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
Your favourite VN: Fate/stay Night or School Days
Your favourite TV series: Weeds
Your favourite Movie: That's a hard one... Psycho?

[Anonymous No.]

This thread is running rampant on /a/, the amount of attention whoring is disgusting.
I'm just going to take refuge here on /jp/ in till it reaches it's bump limit. I can only report so much.

[Anonymous No.]

Okay, this thread is somehow even worse than the "I'm a girl" thread so I guess I'll switch over.

People idolize over Haruhi Suzymiya because she acts like a guy. You ever wish you could have a girl as a friend, just to hang out with like one of the guys? A girl that would have the same interests as you, the same enthusiasm, the same keen observations and sense of adventure? How about a girlfriend that you could just hang out with, have fun with, and not have to listen to her whine and complain and leak. Haruhi Suzymiya is that ideal "hang out with" girl. She has fans because she has all the best traits of a guy friend you can hang out with, only she happens to be a girl. Understand that when people idolize over Haruhi Suzymiya, they idolize over the personality of a cool guy friend in a girl's body- an ideal friend/partner who has the best of both worlds, and would be nearly impossible to find.

[Anonymous No.]

Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait".

So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game.

A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny pokemon have less than a 1/1000 chance of appearing). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny pidgey, gone forever.

I start screaming every obsenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and appearantly I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears.

What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be respoinsible for ruining my best relationship ever. Help me /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275898
I already have a friend like that

[Anonymous No.]

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking reposts about losing a shiny pidgey! LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /jp/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY! Losing a shiny pidgey DESTROYS a trainer, it STRIPS THE TRAINER OF HIS BADGES! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /jp/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A SHINY PIDGEY BEING LOST!

And no, I am not fucking Ash Ketchum, I am a trainer, I lost a shiny pidgey. My 1/8192 chance pokemon was taken from me, I can never get it in a pokeball. I was defeated again and again and again and again and again by The Elite Four when I was on victory road, I wanted to fucking kill my fucking self. IS THAT FUCKING FUNNY? FUCK NO YOU FUCKHOLES!

Go back to making Fresh Prince threads, /jp/, you fucking arboks

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275890
My dream girl!

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^ When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333!!!! “KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat <bleep> watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (o_o)” then sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!!*^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*(^o^)(^o^)(^o^)

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 25
Your favourite anime series: Samurai Champloo
Your favourite VN: Fate/Stay Night
Your favourite TV series: Firefly
Your favourite Movie: Jurassic Park

Sup bitches.

[Anonymous No.]

Male
25
GITS
Yu-no
SG-1
Back to the Future

[Anonymous No.]

I led her into my room. She was pretty: brown hair, muddy green eyes, no rolls of fat, no fields of acne scaring her face, about sixteen years old, and a decent sized rack (not big but not a flat chest either). She stopped and looked about the room to admire my collection; Kare Kano boxset (Very good, cute little series until Anno left, then the budget dropped and the show went to shit), Neon Genesis Evangelion Platinum Edition (Not as bad or as good as people say it is) along with some Asuka and Rei figurines, Full Metal Alchemist (Great series, seems like a shonen but it’s so much better and deeper), a vintage Akira movie poster, pretty much every Gundam series boxset except for G Gundam which is total crap, a poster for the original Ghost in the Shell movie release, Unopened Robotech Mecha action figures (Mint condition), and so so so so much more. It would take days to list. She whistles, “Nice. Very Nice.”

“Thanks.” I say, barely able to hold down my overflowing pride.

We met at the high school anime club, which is mainly filled with fat wastes of life, and noticed each other amongst the smell of body odor and sound of a subbed Sailor Moon episode playing. She took the invitation to my place and here we are. She certainly knows how to appreciate good collection when she sees one.

I decide to get right to the basics and start her interrogation, “Ok, so let me, get this out the way – Do you like Inuyasha?”

She glances at me with something close to disdain, “God, no. There’s nothing interesting in a show about a bishy dog teenager not having enough guts to fuck his girlfriend, but will spend 15 minutes stupidly attacking his enemy’s new barrier before he realizes that he’s gonna need a 15 episode quest to get by it.”

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275915
My eyes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>>/a/41234109

hey guys let's copy more answers from that epic /a/ thread and post them here

[Anonymous No.]

She then lets out a mocking yell of KAAAAGGGGOOOOMMMEEEEE.

“Good.” I sigh. I brought in a girl I met in a convention two weeks ago and she answered that she liked Inuyasha, I think her corpse (or whatever is left of it) is buried in the Johnson’s yard, I really can’t remember.

“Cowboy Bebop?” she perks.

“Certainly, very good episodic anime.”

“Spike dies.” She teases with a smile

I smile, this is turning out very well, she has a cute sense of humor too.

We talk some more and she tells me how she dislikes shonen in general, she never watched it as a kid so she doesn’t have any “nostalgic fondness” for it like other anime fans do. I’m agreeing and nodding, when suddenly it fucking hits me: Wait, does she mean One Piece too? She better not fucking mean One Piece, which is an excellent anime and manga that portrays the silliness of the entire shounen genre by doing everything in an over the top manner but while still having deeper characters than any other shounen could.

My hands flex and tighten in, my teeth grit together and my expression tightens, just managing to contain my building rage until I manage to exercise enough control to ask her.

“What about One Piece?”

She stops and thinks for a second, hand raised to her chin, “Well, yeah, I guess One Piece is pretty good for it’s genre. Pirates just aren’t my thing, though.”

I relax a little, not the answer I wanted but if things continue well, I can put it aside. Besides she can always learn to appreciate it later on.

We talk some more, our opinions match. She thinks Samurai Champloo is good but weak in the middle, so do I. We like old school Robotech because it’s goofy. Rozen Maiden is kinda dumb. I’m in love, we’re soulmates. Everything matches. I’m ready to enter a relationship that will bring me happiness.

[Anonymous No.]

Then tragedy strikes.

She opens her mouth, “Well, actually, you know one show I really don’t like?”

“What?”

“The Melancholy of Haruhi Suz-What’s that last bit called? I don’t know. You know, the Haruhi show. It’s a fucking trite harem anime covered with a Evangelion plot and everyone is fucking homo for it. I’m a girl and even I can’t stand it.”

My pulse quickens, I start to sweat uncontrollably, my hands clench and my finger nails begin to dig into my skin. Did she just insult The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya? The smartest, most interesting, cutest romance story and perhaps anime of the 2006 season? My vision turns red.

I let loose a howl, no, a bellow of rage and turn on her. I smash her off my blue beanbag and onto the floor, on top of her. The wind is knocked out of her and before she can regain it, I’m smashing her head continually on the floor.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH. YOU FUCKING BITCH. HARUHI’S TOO FUCKING SMART FOR YOU. YOU DUMB CUNT. IT’S TOO FUCKING SUBTLE FOR YOU. FUCKING BITCH.”

I’m now smacking her across the face, hard, leaving large red welts. She’s still winded, so she hasn’t started screaming yet. Quickly, I jump off her and rush to my drawer and rattle the top drawer open, knocking a pristine Edward Elric FMA figurine to the floor chipping it.

“YOU FUCKING CUNT, DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO? THAT COST ME $125, YOU DUMB LITTLE WHORE.”

I pull a dagger from the drawer, blade length is about the size of my forearm, close my bedroom door and crouch down like a lion. She’s raised herself a little, so that her hands are lifting her torso off the floor. She’s coughing and in shock, then she looks at me, sees the dagger and screams. Loud. I laugh hysterically at her screams, which are beginning to excite me, and then pounce. She raises an arm to block my falling blade, uselessly. It slices through her flesh like butter, and cuts deep into the bone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275925

You mean that /jp/ hasn't legitimately sunk below gaia's level? Could have fooled me.

[Anonymous No.]

Blood spurts every where, onto me, onto her, onto my bedsheets. She stares wide eyed at her ruined, flailing mass, not quite comprehending that the cute little anime nerd she was just talking with friendly with not just a minute ago has just nearly severed it. I smash onto her again, knocking her back and stab repeatedly: into her left breast, right thigh, pelvis, and then hack at her injured arm again. She’s screaming constantly and loudly and it’s stirring my loins, I can’t hold out much longer. I slash open her stomach and let her intestines and organs pour out, her liver slops out next to me and I undo my pants and boxers and lift it up above my rock hard dick. I proceed to knife a hole in it and fuck it, furiously. Now she stares, eyes wide open, in shock, trying to mouth words but nothing will come out. I explode violently into her ruined liver and toss it at her, it smacks into her face and drops off to the side. It’s not enough though, so I leap again onto her ruined torso and slice her open further, up to her neck and fuck her vocal chords. I’m not sure if she’s dead or alive at this point. Finally, I cum again and it gurgles up to her mouth. Actually, she looks pretty dead to me.

Calmly, I put my boxers and pants back on and return to the living room to watch a Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex rerun.

[Anonymous No.]

A couple hours later, mom returns home. I offer her a greeting from the couch and she sets some groceries on the table. She goes through her routine of tidying up the house, dusting the hard to reach places in the living room, straightening things up in my parent’s room, and then she enters my room. She walks past the gore drenched walls, the decaying remains of the girl, (all the while whistling "Ningen Nante" by Takuro Yoshida), straightens my bed sheets, and picks up my blood soaked clothes that I changed out of. But before she goes, she glances at my still running computer monitor and something catches her eye.

From the living room I hear her yell my name, “JAMES COOLIDGE, GET IN HERE NOW MISTER.”

I rush to my door, heart pounding, and see her pointing accusingly at my monitor.

I left 4chan on, and someone has posted a picture of Fate-chan in very little of anything, just bordering NSFW. Fuck.

And that’s how I got grounded, /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275884
>>6275885
I like to browse /jp/ for the community(Metathreads). It's not that I'm not interested in VN's and anime(Although I only liked 1 anime I've watched), it's that I have about 3 straight hours of reading and discussing to do on other forums, then I have news to read, books, then I work out for a bit etc.

Too many things I like doing that it leaves no time for visual novels or TV. I procrastinate even to enjoy myself with video games etc. Although, I do play a small bit of touhou every now and then, mostly single levels.

[Anonymous No.]

Kyon snapped, rushing at Haruhi.

"I CAN'T STAND IT ANY MORE," he cried out, sprinting towards the rotund schoolgirl. He began to pummel his fists into her doughy abdomen, faster and faster. The many rolls of Haruhi's fat peeking out from under her shirt quaked as they took each hit. It wasn't much good, Kyon realized, as the oversized gut just absorbed his punches. Panting, he lifted his head to stare Suzumiya in the eyes. Her face remained in neutral shock.

"Well," Kyon sneered, "what do have to say for yourself?"

At that, she unfroze. Haruhi cocked her head a bit and squinted at the boy in front of her. She swayed and wobbled, the furious flapping of her flabby arms proving fully futile. She keeled over onto the floor with a tremendous mushy thud. Kyon smirked at her plight. He was betting she'd still think up something smarmy to tell him. It would be so like her.

Instead, her bulging eyes welled up with tears and she began to whimper; Kyon was puzzled, could she finally be--

"KYOOOOOOON" she bellowed, her droopy voice hitting awkward ups and downs.

Kyon backed away when her tree trunk of an arm pathetically swung at his ankle.

"I don't have time for this," he said, "I got a date with Mikuru in ten minutes!"

Her chest wracked with sobs, Haruhi Suzumiya struggled to lift her head. With her remaining energy she called out in a desparate wheeze to the retreating boy.

"YOU'RRRE BREAAAKING MY HEAAAAARRRRRRT!!!!!!"

All she could hear was his lunatic laughter as he walked off.

[Anonymous No.]

Ever since I was three I knew that something was something different in my sexual preferences, as time went on I realized that I liked anime babes and Hentai. Ever since then I have been looking at anime porn and such, I`m not attracted to real girls that much. If I see a girl naked I won`t like it but If I see hentai I`m all in for it. Since I`m a christian I`m wondering if God made me this way for punishment or something, I don`t blame him at all. He didn`t have to make me anyway so I thank him for simply making me. Anyway is it normal for me to like anime babes or not? Should I tell my parents or hide this secret from them? I`m looking at this HOT anime babe in her bra and panties and I`m hard as heck! But is this a sin?

[Anonymous No.]

It's not so much that I hate anime, well I do its utter shit, but that's not too bad because the world would be boring if we all liked the same thing. Anyway what really gets to me is anime fans or 'otakus' as they have dubbed themselves. They think that liking anime makes them superior to those who don't, they think that if someone does not like anime it means they are too stupid to understand it and they worship Japan. There ongoing obsession with Japan makes me want to kill myself, they all want to learn japanese and move to Japan to be an anime artist. They insist on speaking in broken Japanese all the time, trying to show off to there fellow anime losers just how much they know and they get offended if you say a slight word against Japan. They also have an obsessin with gay people and yell and scream whenever they see one, they say that gay people should be treated the same as straight people yet i don't see then shout and scream when they see a straight couple do you? No, they only reason they love gay people is becasue they are desperate to show the world how openmided they are and they just wait for someone to something like 'thats so gay' so that they have have a 3 hour discussion about it.I myself don't have anything against gays but to be honest i don't really think about it. I could go on for hours but I can't be botherd just know one thing Anime couldn't be crapper if it tried.

[Anonymous No.]

STFU and Look, I'm sick and tired of yall critisizing 50. I know EVERYTHING there is to know about 50 Cent. He is the best rapper out there, and if you don't think so, well you don't know music and you don't even listen to all of 50 Cent's songs. Some of the songs may be a little nasty but that isn't all he raps about. He sings about violence bacause he had somuch of it in his life! i mean he DID see his mother be murdered. and he sings about drugs sometimes because he dealed crack at a young age. he lost a lot of loved ones at a very young age too. he didn't start dealing drugs until that happened. Maybe you all should give his music a chance- by one of his cds. One day, i will meet 50 and tell him all about what i think. 50 Cent is the best!

[Anonymous No.]

What kind of anime u into? I'm all about the Inu yasha, saiyuki, get backers, spiral, furuba, you're under arrest, soul hunter (houshin engi), tokyo underground, samurai deeper kyo, flame of recca, mirage of blaze, gate keepers, real bout high school, street figter, fatal fury, dnAngel, gravitation, yami no matsuei, theif and detective, prince of tennis, juvenile orion, aporipha0, orphen, angelic layer, shama pita ten, kaiken phrase, FAKE, himiko den, kiddy grade, lost universe, slayers, burn up W, for you in full blossoms, fushigi yuugi, gundam wing, yuyu hokushou, hunter x hunter, sakura wars, cardcaptor sakura, tokyo babylon, magic knights rayearth, scrapped princess, infinite ryvius, witch hunter robin, mahou senshi riui, Furi Kuri, gundam seed, vampire princess miyu, king of bandits jing, rave, E's Ot Gojyo (saiyuki), Sanada Yukimura (samuria deeper kyo), Hiroshi (gravitation), Inu yasha, Ban (get backers), Akabane (get backers), Heartia (orphen), Iori (King of Fighters), Taikoubo (houshin engi), Kyou (furuba), Kazuma (scryed), Larva (vampire princess miyu), Shigure (furuba), Ken (weiss kreuz), Dark (dnAngel), Kurama (yuyu hakushou), Akabane (get backers), Touga (utena), Shido (nightwalker), Ryuhou Quatre (gundam wing), Amon (witch hunter robin), Michael (witch hunter robin), Riui (mahou senshi riui), Shido (nightwalker), Jing (king of bandits jing), Yuuki (e's otherwise", Kai (e's otherwise), Eagle (magic knights rayearth), Clef (maigc knights rayearth), Enba (wildrock), Ken (Mata Natsu ga Kita), Haru (rave), Magica (rave)

[Anonymous No.]

You are truly a god among bros.

Just when I think you're as solid as a bro can get, you raise the very definition of brodom to new heights. You're like a brogle, soaring to the farthest reaches of the atbrosphere. Seriously. If it weren't for you and your extreme brobility to hook a bro up when it is most croosh, I'd have been stuck in some bitch-ass seat, cramped all in the corner with a bunch of bitch-asses, bro. But you stepped up. You brovercame all obstacles to help a bro out. This is the kind of shit that makes bros for life.

You are the king of all bros. Brotankhamen. You are the Ayatollah Bromeini. You are Broseidon, lord of the brocean.

I've long admired your absolute broficiency in all things bro-related, and the way you've always carried yourself in a brofessional manner. I consider you a brole model. When I was new in this town, you took me under your wing and showed me the bropes. And I will always preesh that. Not only did you school me in proper brotocol, but you were a spiritual leader, a confidant, and, more importantly, a bro. You taught me how to be true to my inner bro and to bros around me. You are a real bro. Not a fake bro, like those other douches. I hate fake bros, bro. Faux breaux. Fuck that. No, really, bro?you're practically a bro-ther to me.

Look at you, blasting in like Rambro and firing off your launcher like nobrody's business, bro. Serious Brotosaurus Rex action. Brodius Maximus. I'm not big on labels, but you, more than any of the wiggers, bitches, goth chicks, dorks, homos, or Mexicans I know, are absolutely beyond rebroach.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275923
>>6275926
>>6275932
>>6275939
God damn it now I got to fap

[Anonymous No.]

In fact, your brotitude is so brossential that, in many ways, you are the ultimate brototype: You sprung out of the brotean ooze at the very broment of creation, unformed, unmolded, and became the ultimate bro, more powerful than any who came brofore. I don't fear your power, bro, but I respect it. And I will always brobey it.

Brosemite Sam. Potassium Bromide. Brobi Wan Kenobi. Brover Norquist.

Like Broseph Stalin, you are leading the way to the dictatorship of the broletariate. It is truly revbrolutionary. Like the Bro v. Wade of our generation. You brobliterate the enemy from the very peak of Mt. Brolympus. That's some shit. That's brolific. But that's the kind of bro you are.

You are the epitome of bro, in every brossible way, and that's the Bro's honest truth, bro. I may have a bropensity for broverstatement, but this no mere hyperbrole: You are 100 brocent, absbrolutely the broest. Brotally.

[Anonymous No.]

>>/r/ angry sun pics

wtf irony

When I was about nine, I had recently gotten a Nintendo Entertainment System from a garage sale down the road, the first gaming system I ever had. One game that I bought was Super Mario Brothers 3, the final chapter of the widely-acclaimed SMB trilogy, which like in the original Super Mario Brothers consisted of Mario/Luigi chasing after Princess Toadstool (whose name has since been bastardized to 'Peach'). Back on topic though; so I had advanced to World 2, "Desert Land" and I was moving along rather smoothly, in the back of my mind knowing that at some point the levels would start to get more difficult; I soon noticed a tile, one unlike the other tiles (Toad houses, numbered tiles, etc). It appeared to be some cross-hybrid of flowing diarrhea and sand, which caught my attention. I navigated my way to the tile, and hit the A button and was warped to what appeared to be a normal level; there even was a happy sunshine in the top left corner! As I side-scrolled my way through the level, the fucking sun decided to go apeshit and sodomize me repeatedly until I finally broke down in tears, throwing my controller at the ground screaming for my mom. That fucking bastard.

And no, this is not copy pasta.

[Anonymous No.]

As we all know, smoking is really bad for your health. What a lot of people don't realize is that when you smoke, those few minutes of your expected lifespan are literally transformed into the ash you flick away into an ashtray. Ashtrays, each and every one of them, are constructed by a single group running several dozen front companies.

Basically, unless you're putting out your smokes beneath your heel or in the ashtray your kid made at camp, you're dispensing your ashen life into this group's eager little recepticle. Their ashtrays absorb the life force from the ashes and sends it to a central holding facility. No one knows for sure what these guys are going to do when they've collected all that life energy, but it's probably going to be huge.

Incidentally, there's talk of a rival organization leading the anti-smoking political agenda from behind the scenes. They probably figure removing smoking sections, and thus ashtrays, from restaurants and bars is a good first step towards thwarting whatever it is this ashtray company is trying to do.

[Anonymous No.]

ATTENTION NEWGROUNDERS,

FACT: NEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THE SUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKING PEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS' LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORE SKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAIN BIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGE BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY'RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED "GOOD SCHOOL" IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONAL GOVERNMENTIAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC "DEEP" FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUEMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN'T GO UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.

[Anonymous No.]

Census time /jp/

Your gender: female
Your age: 20
Your favourite anime series: Jigoku Shoujo
Your favourite VN: Umineko
Your favourite TV series: Castle
Your favourite Movie: Amelié

I don't watch/ read much of any of the genres.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6275992
In the middle of the earth in the land of the Shire lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire. With his long wooden pipe, fuzzy, woolly toes, he lives in a hobbit-hole and everybody knows him

Bilbo (Bilbo) Bilbo Baggins He's only three feet tall Bilbo (Bilbo) Bilbo Baggins The bravest little hobbit of them all

Now hobbits are peace-lovin' folks you know They don't like to hurry and they take things slow They don't like to travel away from home They just want to eat and be left alone But one day Bilbo was asked to go on a big adventure to the caves below, to help some dwarves get back their gold that was stolen by a dragon in the days of old.

Bilbo (Bilbo) Bilbo Baggins He's only three feet tall Bilbo (Bilbo) Bilbo Baggins The bravest little hobbit of them all

Well, he fought with the goblins He battled a troll!! He riddled with Gollum!!! A magic ring he stole!!! He was chased by wolves, Lost in the forest, Escaped in a barrel from the elf-king's halls!!!!!!!

Bilbo (Bilbo) Bilbo Baggins The bravest little hobbit of them all

Now he's back in his home in the land of the Shire, that brave little hobbit whom we all admire, just sittin' on a treasure of silver and gold puffin' on his pipe in his hobbit-hole.

Bilbo (Bilbo) Bilbo Baggins He's only three feet tall Bilbo (Bilbo) Bilbo Baggins The bravest little hobbit of them all

[Anonymous No.]

BE IT BREAKFAST, BRUNCH OR BED AND BE YOU A BAREFOOT BURGLAR, BRITISH BANKER OR BEDFAST BOOKMAKER A BASIC BESTIAL BLESSING IS THE BURGER! A BILLION BURGER BANQUET BEQUETH UPON ME FROM A BURGER BASTION OF BEDLAM BARELY BEGINS TO BOIL MY BULKY BURGER BURDEN. YET I MUST BARE BULBOUS BEGGERS BESEECHING BURGERS TO BUILD UPON THEIR BIG BAGGAGE WHILE BREEDING BARBARICALLY. BUT BEFORE THE BURGER BANQUET A BETTER BEGINNING IS OBLIGED. YOU MAY CALL ME BURGER KING.

[Anonymous No.]

Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?

About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

[Anonymous No.]

Original, hand-crafted copypasta; The perfect present for a wedding, christening, new baby, birthday, anniversary, retirement, mother's day, thank you, school reunion - any occasion you can think of! Our copypastas are each individually handcrafted by a skilled and dedicated chef and guaranteed to be of the highest quality.

These beautiful and decorative copypastas are hand-crafted from crushed and powered words bound up with only the finest pasta. Every copypasta is completely hand made, from the basic raw materials through to the finished product every process is carried out by hand. The only exception is a cleaning and polishing process in which the copypasta is put through special machines. Even these machines have been developed for particular use in the preparation of the copypasta, for, although the copypasta is quite durable, fine details such as noses, horses ear's, swords, daggers and flag staffs could be snapped of if treated too roughly.

The National Association of Copypasta Chefs (NACC) is dedicated to protecting artists and crafters - their work, creativity and intellectual properties and marketing rights. I believe to keep the true work of the artist and copypasta chef alive we must act to promote and protect our art and craft.

[Anonymous No.]

The thing is, people don't realize the work that goes into properly doing copypasta. They think copypasta is something that slackers can do, or faggots, or assholes. It's not true. Copypasta is a dying artform and if you don't see that, I don't know what's wrong with you.

First of all, you sacrifice spending real time on /jp/. You can't participate as much as you'd like to because you're so busy doing copypasta that you can't. As a result, you miss a lot of really great threads. Still, it's a sacrifice, so you do it.

There's also the problem of "Flood detected". This message can really hurt your progress. You should try to get your copypasta into every active thread and if you have to sit there waiting before the flood period is over, you lose valuable time. This is also very difficult.

Also, picking which threads should get a copypasta first are sort of difficult. There are threads that don't stay on the first page for very long, so you may be missing some of the more prominent threads. Of course, you should try to hit them all, but for the desire effect, you need to get into bigger threads quickly.

Finally, there's the moral problem. One thing about copypasta is that sometimes it feels good, but sometimes it feels bad.

BTW, this wasn't a copypasta, I just typed it out.

[Anonymous No.]

The beautiful Princess Thalyncuntel, daughter of the Elven king Elevandorlythen, is a fuckin' slut. Regardless, every single member of the party wants to fuck the living shit out of her hot Elven arse, pooper and all, and spray her with their interracial, multicolored love potions (IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT). But there's a problem, a huge problem.

Due to the recent outbreak of the deadly virus dubbed AIDS in the underground Dark Elven province of Ayphrika, the princess has unfortunately been corrupted by the niggardly fluids of a Dark Elf and has caught the disease. This merely hinders the party's goals in regards of time, these bastards want to shove the shank REAL soon or their Balls of Blue Tinge +1 will explode in a painful array of blood, gore and semen, and that's never any good.

The party find themselves in a dungeon on the Far East side of Faerûn after following the advice of an old crone outside of an inner city brothel (where Tom's mum works). They are informed that the cure to AIDS is hidden deep within the dark recesses of this evil dungeon, guarded by a mighty troll and his band of personal guards. The old crone warned them that the dungeon was part of an old deserted Dark Elf barracks which was burnt to the ground in an effort to try and rid the land of AIDS. She warned that there are creatures that still lurk in the depths and that the disease is rife amongst them.

[Anonymous No.]

The usual basic rules are used in this scenario save for a few new ones, specifically created for this very scenario:

• All monsters in the dungeon are infected with/have aids poisoned weapons. If a character gets aids, they must roll 2d6 before each turn. One determining if any damage is inflicted and the other determining how much damage. The same rules for poisoned weapons are used for enemies with AIDS poisoned weapons. • The dark elf character (in the event of there actually BEING one) has aids, regardless. His motive is to secretly hinder the party as the backstabbing nigger he is and get to the cure before them all. The Dark Elf is also affected by the AIDS damage rule in that before every turn they must roll 2d6 from the beginning of the game, naturally. The usual basic rules are used in this scenario save for a few new ones, specifically created for this very scenario:

• All monsters in the dungeon are infected with/have aids poisoned weapons. If a character gets aids, they must roll 2d6 before each turn. One determining if any damage is inflicted and the other determining how much damage. The same rules for poisoned weapons are used for enemies with AIDS poisoned weapons. • The dark elf character (in the event of there actually BEING one) has aids, regardless. His motive is to secretly hinder the party as the backstabbing nigger he is and get to the cure before them all. The Dark Elf is also affected by the AIDS damage rule in that before every turn they must roll 2d6 from the beginning of the game, naturally.

[Anonymous No.]

I just got this thread deleted on /a/ by copying your spam.
Had three computers all with virtual machines using VPN's for maximum Spam.

[Anonymous No.]

I live in a small town in Kansas. I've always been the artsy type..painting, photography...while most other guys around here were more jocky. Tons of guys joined the millitary after high school and now almost all of them are in Iraq. They send letters home saying how proud they are of their wives and how it must be hard for them to deal with their husbands being away.

Well do you know how they deal with it?

They fuck me.

Thats right. While you are away getting your ass hot off I'm shooting myself off in your wifes ass. Thank God for George Bush. I have about 4 wives I'm currently fucking because of his great leadership. I voted republican this year and then promptly went to a shipped off wives's home and came in her mouth.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6276010
mind=blown

[Anonymous No.]

My friend has one of the most DISTURBING, DISGUSTING pooping habits ever.

This kid I know weighs 450 pounds and is morbidly obese. I'm surprised he hasn't died from it yet. He's only 17. A few of my friends and I went over to his to keep him company since his parents were out of town. He wanted someone to play PS3 with him so we were happy to oblige.

Around 20 minutes into a game of Resistance, the kid goes "i'll be right back, i gotta take a crap." and walks off. I noticed he grabbed a large bucket, which I found strange. What happened next disgusted me beyond all reason.

From the bathroom, I heard a large roar, like a beast of some sort. I asked one of my friends who knows the fat kid a lot better than I do what was going on. His response still haunts me to this day:

"He takes a bucket to the bathroom with him because the smell always makes him puke. All the crusty shit and ass sweat caught in the folds of his fat have been decaying for months because he can't clean himself. As soon as he drops his pants, the shit/sweat stench fills the bathroom and he begins throwing up."

[Anonymous No.]

Male
20
I don't watch anime.
Don't play VNs
Right now? Venture Brothers. All time? Gargoyles (not counting the shitty Goliath chronicles)
District 9.

Bonus Question, Favorite Video Game: Marathon
Bonus Question, Favorite Book Series: The Uplift Series (second trilogy) by David Brin

[Anonymous No.]

>>6276027
I'm only using two. Any more than that and I can't keep up with the rest of /jp/ at the same time.

Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say ANYTHING else - ONE word - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

[Anonymous No.]

Here we go again, another fucking dickhead trying to tell me how to live my life. This babyfur_watch asshole on here, commenting on my LJ telling me that im making a big mistake by throwing away my college education just to, quote, "Roll around in crapped diapers and meddling in cheap and petty BDSM fetishes." Who the fuck do you think you are saying this shit, i swear to the fuckin heavens above if i knew where you were, i would come over, break my foot off in your ass and slice your damn throat. I have enough crap coming from my dad and grandmother about the way im living my life, so i dont need to hear it from some fucking scumbag like you. There are two things you do not fuck with when it comes to me, my friends and my lifestyle. You screw with either one of those things and you're gonna have one pissed off fox on your ass. Just becuase im a babyfur doesnt mean that i dont have a dark side, i will go medevil on you if you provoke me. I'm getting fuckin sick and tired of these fuckers thinking that since we're babyfurs that they can push us around and redicule us and not have us fight back. Most, if not all of us babyfurs get pissed off if an outsider decides to fuck with us. You may not like the fact that we are babyfurs, but you will fucking respect it, that's all we ask anyways. Everyone has their fetishes, and ours just happens to be wearing and using diapers, sucking on pacifiers and bottles, wearing baby clothes and acting like baby's. We aint hurtin no one by doing this, but there are some that are making it seem that way, which is complete and udder bullshit. As far as the BDSM stuff go, so what, i wanna be owned by someone and dommed by them, big deal. Keep your fucking comments to yourself if all they're gonna do is gonna piss off whoever your sending it to. Use common since you stupid pricks...oh wait, you dont have any!

[Anonymous No.]

Here we go again, another fucking dickhead trying to tell me how to habeeb it. This ittybittybaby_watch asshole on here, commenting on my LJ telling me that im making a big mistake by throwing away my college education just to, quote, "Don't believe it" Who the fuck do you think you are saying this shit, i swear to the fuckin heavens above if i knew where you were, i would come over and punch you in the face. I have enough crap coming from my cute dad about the way im living my life, so i dont need to hear it from some fucking itty bitty boat like you. There are two things you do not fuck with when it comes to me, my itty bitty baby and my twinkie house. You screw with either one of those things and you're gonna have one pissed off itty bitty baby on your ass. Just becuase im an itty bitty baby doesnt mean that i dont have a twinkie house, i will go medevil on you if you provoke me. I'm getting fuckin sick and tired of these fuckers thinking that since we're itty bitty babies that they can push us around and habeeb us and not have us fight back. Most, if not all of us itty bitty babies get pissed off if an outsider decides to fuck with us. You may not like the fact that we are itty bitty babies, but you will fucking respect it, that's all we ask anyways. Everyone has their fetishes, and ours just happens to be not believing it. We aint hurtin no one by doing this, but there are some that are making it seem that way, which is complete and udder bullshit. As far as the habeebing it stuff goes, so what, i wanna not believe it, big deal. Keep your fucking comments to yourself if all they're gonna do is gonna piss off whoever your sending it to. Use common since you stupid pricks...oh wait, you dont have any!

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: F
Your age: 16
Your favourite anime series: Galaxy Angel
Your favourite VN: Bazooka Cafe
Your favourite TV series: Don't watch TV
Your favourite Movie: Grindhouse

[Anonymous No.]

The very first Communists were early Slavic tribes who owned so little they had to share everything. They were renowned warriors, whose battle tactics consisted of getting as drunk as mortally possible, then drink twice as much more and charge at the enemy wielding a hammer in one hand and a sickle in the other. Even in these early times they were called the Red Army for their red faces (esp. noses). A Communist Warrior was terrible to behold in battle, bashing, slicing, and breathing alcoholic fumes at his enemies. Mortally wounded, he would merely fall asleep at the field of battle, only to wake up the next morning with regenerated limbs, healed wounds and a severe headache.

[Anonymous No.]

Mmmmmm... Fried pig pussy! Once you eat one of these pig pussy pork rinds, you'll never eat another.. human pussy again. But FUCK human pussy! I fuck dead pigs. You'll read all about it in heartburn how I fuck them dead pigs before I turn em into pork rinds!

I couldn't get no twat from serenity back then. She only wanted dildos in her pussy twat. Big phony bologna dicks. But now she wants this real cock. Come here serenity lets show these assholes how we fuck. Lets show these assholes how we fuck. My sweet sweet serenity.

Fuck an umbilical cord out of your phony asshole, and I'll hang a pig with it, while I impregnate you with my 80 year old pork rind dick. You'll give birth to a dead pig and we'll cut him into pork rinds.

All in pork rinds of god. In a land that speaks only with its eyes. No language, no dildos, no fucking laws! Where the whores can't sell their pussy. Or use their twats to gold dig. A land where us warriors run free with our big dicks out, and our fucking hair wild.

Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Salt their dead skin and put em in plastic bags. Fuck you, you fucking, farting robots. Suck my dead pig. Suck my dead pig!

[Anonymous No.]

I get to the office at 9ish and I'm not in the mood to work. In walks this hard street nigger and he asks for a job.

Nigger: Yo, ya hire? Me: Say what? Nigger: Ma, I nee a jo Me: You speekee engrish? Nigger: I say I nee a jo,

I knew what he was saying. He was one of those niggers that like to leave the last letter off of every word. Five bucks = Fie buck, Old school = O schoo, etc. The conversation went on for a few minutes until I was finished fucking with him.

Me: I pa fo dolla Nigger: Fo dolla! Shee Me: Aight, aight, fodolla twenny fi cen Nigger: Minima way sicsevenfi muthafucka Me: Fi dolla no mo, no mo fi dolla Nigger: (speaking clearly for the first time) FUCK YOU!

I nearly pissed myself. Yet I am not racist, I'm a sterotypist. Yes, there's a difference.

[Anonymous No.]

Yesterday at around noon, I had been extremely bored for the past couple of hours. So, despite all the temptations to just jerk off to my manga, I decided to go to my friends house and hang out. We started to play pokemon and that got boring, so he suggested doing prank calls. I honestly have never done any prank calls, though I have seen most of the Girl Talk raids. He called the local gamestop and asked if they had any ps4's. I kinda cringed at the low brow humor, but I wanted to try. He gave the phone to me. I had no idea what to say. He just told me to think up of some ridiculous story. Being the /b/ that I am, I decided to act like I misdialed and I was calling my girlfriend or something. I, sadly, have no girlfriend and never had, so I have no idea what couples talk to each other like. He told me that he was going to download a random number, so it wouldn't be anyone that I knew. Phone rang, person picked up, I started to talk. "Hey, how you doing?" There was a pause. "So, are we gonna fuck tonight?" Another long pause, then the phone hung up.

I went home at around midnight, and my mom was in the living room sitting by the light. She seemed a bit upset, but I had no idea why. She looked at me and then asked, "What have you been doing?". I started to think to myself OSHI-, my friend must of called my house, that douche. "Uh... I have been hanging out at my friends." "O really.." My Dad walked into the room, and he looked pissed off too. I know they must of knew it was me. I'm dead. Then my mom started off, "I found these magazines in your room. we seriously need to talk about these." It was probably the weirdest feeling in the world. The feeling relief that you weren't in trouble for something you did, and the feeling that you have just been caught with porn.

So now I'm locked in my room. How do I get out?

[Anonymous No.]

Humans can only stand so much awesome, it's in our genetic code. Dragonforce, for example, taps into the unused portion of our brains and unravels a sixth sense to a new level of awesome that humans cannot normally experiance. When you listen to Dragonforce, you are not only listening to music, you are taking a journey to another place, another world that some can never hope to behold on their own. Like a scout sent into an unknown land, a voyager on a quest for the unknown, like a tribal Shaman on a spiritual journey...all society can hope for is that you bring back a piece of what you now have engraved upon your soul, and help free the repressed souls and minds of all civilization.

And totally fucking rock out.

[Anonymous No.]

You wake to find yourself in a plain room with two doors opposite each other and a note on the table. Reading the note, you find that you have been selected for a scientific study into human psychology.

The note tells you that the experiment takes place over the next 20 years, and you may not leave until that time is up. After 20 years you will be able to return to your life as normal. It tells you to press button A to open room A or B to open room B. By opening one door, you permanently lock the other door. By pressing both buttons simultaneously, you permanently lock both.

Behind door A is a hemispherical room with radius twice your height, in which you would be constantly observed. If you enter that room, you may request, by speaking into the microphone in that room, as many inanimate, NON-ELECTRONIC objects to be brought to you as you want, as long as there is judged to be no way that you could use the item to kill yourself or escape. If you do attempt to kill yourself, you will be sedated and returned to your room, with the items you used permanently removed. (Remember that you can ask to have all the essentials brought to you whenever you want; a bed, meals, drink etc). You will be force-fed if you choose to starve yourself.

Behind door B is a gun and a bullet.

Which door do you open?

[Anonymous No.]

It was my second year of college and I was walking back to my dorm one night (I attend UC Berkeley and it's fairly open to the rest of the town, Berkeley, itself) and I wasn't with anyone and it was a more secluded, quieter, darker side of campus.

So, anyways, out of nowhere comes these 2 white kids (Just like me) with a knife, demanding I hand over my money. Just as I'm doing this (I'm 6'8" 240 but I'm not going against a knife) some black guy rounds the corner behind the white kids. He just goes "WHAT THE FUCK?" and pulls a gun out of his waistband. First thing I think is "Oh fuck we're all dead" but he just approaches the kids, tells em to put the wallet, cell phone and the knife they had on the ground. They do and then they ran. The guy just tucks the gun back in his waistband and smiles at me. I was kind of nervous but really fucking thankful, so I offered him some cash for possibly saving my life. He said "No, I'm fine. I'll get my payment eventually. There's benefits to being a good guy, right?" I nod and laughed at him.

However, right before I left he asked if he could use my cellphone. I handed it over and he made a call. Turns out he was on his way to Christmas shop and had forgotten the list so he needed to call his uncle back and recheck it.

I have never met another human being like that again. He changed my perceptions of minorities forever.

This is not copypasta .

[Anonymous No.]

If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...... Tyler

[Anonymous No.]

I JUST SHAVED MY BUTT HOLE AND NOW IT'S BLEEDING. THERE WAS TOO MUCH HAIR IN MY BUTT AND IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING UP THERE. I WAS SICK OF ADJUSTING IT EVER FEW MINUTES. SHAVING IT WAS FINE UNTIL THE END WHEN I NOTICED IT WAS BLEEDING IN THAT STRETCH OF SKIN WHERE MY ASS MET MY DICK. WHEN I SEEN BLOOD ON THE RAZOR I FREAKED. THEN I PUT A WASHCLOTH UP THERE THAT IS NOW SOAKED WITH BLOOD AND SHIT. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SHAVE YOUR ASS.

[Anonymous No.]

(to the tune of pokemahn)

I WANNA BE, THE VERY BEST,

LIKE NO ONE EVER WAAAS,

dun dun dundun

TO PUNCH THOSE WHO CALL IT ANIME

TO BECOME A REAL ARTIIIIST

dun dun dundun

I WILL TRAVEL, ACROSS THE LAND

SEARCHING FAR AND WIIDE

dun dun dundun

OH ANIME, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

YOU'VE RUINED ART OH NOOOO

MODERN AAAAAART'

WHAT A FUCKING JOOOKE~!

I KNOW IT'S MY... wait no I screwed it up somewhere...

[Anonymous No.]

Male
34
Evangelion
Saya no Uta
Lost
Oldboy

[Anonymous No.]

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

[Anonymous No.]

I was always a sad kid, but when I found my mother's diary five years ago and read about how she had another secret family that she was going to leave us for, I really cracked. I left for college soon afterwards still having some symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, with nightmares still occurring nearly every night.

A few months afterwards, I had gotten to the point where I was oversleeping to avoid my problems, usually sleeping 15-20 hours a day.

I finally sought psychiatric treatment 3 1/2 years ago. They initially put me on Provigil for the over-sleeping and Lexapro for the depression, and they were both crap. Then they put me on Wellbutrin, which just made me feel jittery about 4 hours after taking it, but was still crap. Then they moved me to Effexor XR with a Cytomel (hypothyroid med) supplement; they kept increasing the dosage of the Effexor, and I am now at 375 mg/day. If I forget to take my pills, I feel like I'm getting electric shocks to the brain.

I still want to kill myself every day.

What does the rest of /jp/ take to make them seem normal?

[Anonymous No.]

Do you ever stop and wonder, what it is Niggers really are? I know the truth, and to you I will give it.

Thirty-six thousand years ago a race of superior alien beings came to earth. They landed on the gigantic and empty continent known today as Africa, and in their load they carried a big number of dark-skinned individuals - niggers - who they brought along as slave labour from Mercury. The reason they are black is to protect them from the strong UV-lights so close to the sun.

Niggers were harmless beings as long as they remained under strict control of their masters and were not allowed any own thoughts. If left alone in groups they quickly grew greedy and started running rampant and misbehaving. The humanoid aliens who cruised in spaceships of diamond did not like Earth, for it was populated by a race of very similar beings, Neanderthals and whatnot, so they quickly left. Of niggers however, they had a great surplus, wherefore they left them to die on Earth.

The problem is that the niggers didn't die; They instead continued to flourish in their primal ways, seeing as they were unable to evolve any form of culture. They still lived in their tribal villages and townships when the Europeans arrived and brought them along on a journey cross the globe. Only now we are supposed to treat those apparently inferior beings as equals; and if we disagree that those alien scum are equal, we are racists and nazis and must be purged. Time is right for action. We must do something about this threat, for THE BLACK PLAGUE must be defeated! Their beastial manners surely is not the way civilised man lives!

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 23
Your favourite anime series: Kaiji
Your favourite VN: Saya no Uta
Your favourite TV series: Transformers
Your favourite Movie: The Thing

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Male
Your age: 25
Your favourite anime series: Zeta Gundam
Your favourite VN: Fate, but I will be honest, it's not that good, and I've only read a few VNs.
Your favourite TV series: I don't follow any TV series.
Your favourite Movie: The Godfather

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: Female
Your age: 23
Your favourite anime series: Dunno. Mononoke?
Your favourite VN: Saya no Uta
Your favourite TV series: I don't watch TV
Your favourite Movie: Dunno

[Anonymous No.]

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[Anonymous No.]

>>6275703
Gender - Male
Age - 19
Anime Series - damn. Gundam Seed?
VN - Planetarian
TV Series - Battlestar Galactica
Movie - Star Wars ep 4

[Anonymous No.]

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[Anonymous No.]

Those faces are kind of creepy. Please continue.

[Anonymous No.]

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!
love and waffles, *~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

[Iori Minase !UBUME.wRII No.]

itt: mad at a quality topic

Your gender: f
Your age: s-secret
Your favourite anime series: lucky star
Your favourite VN: seikon no inganock
Your favourite TV series: mad men
Your favourite Movie: the pickpocket

[Anonymous No.]

Your gender: M
Your age: 18
Your favourite anime series: Hard to say (5 Centimeters Per Second/Initial D/Serial Experiments Lain/The Girl Who Leapt Through Time/RahXephon/Black Lagoon/Darker Than Black)
Your favourite VN: N/A (Haven't read any)
Your favourite TV series: The Secret Life Of Machines
Your favourite Movie: Primer