/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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OP !!zXUKDReK+nN Tue Oct 12 16:26:09 2010 No.6275554 [Reply] [Original]

Okay, /jp/.

I am a girl.
I am a Virgin.
I've never had a boyfriend.
I've only kissed a boy once.
I am thin, average looking. Brown hair, green eyes, glasses, white.
I have severe self esteem, assertiveness, and depression issues.
I play Touhou, read VNs and lurk /jp/ all day and rarely go outside.
I can cook, but hate cleaning.
I love cuddling, but am afraid of getting into a relationship.
I am open about pretty much anything.

Ask me Anything.
And no, I will not take pictures. Or tell you where I live/give out personal info.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:27:09 2010 No.6275560 >>6275554 >She wants to fuck.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:27:09 2010 No.6275563 Do you hide your powerlevel? Have you ever had friends and for how long?

>>	～(￣∇￣～) !NACK.rrrr. Tue Oct 12 16:27:09 2010 No.6275565 Look at the picture you posted. Look at it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:27:09 2010 No.6275566 File: 10 KB, 244x236, 1278771346661.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Wanna discuss penises?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:27:09 2010 No.6275568 phone number, e-mail ? What country are you in?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:29:09 2010 No.6275577 HUEHUEHUE HERE WE GO AGAIN. 3 THREADS IN 2 DAYS.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:29:09 2010 No.6275580 File: 27 KB, 408x329, 1285371223801.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Ohmygod you're me.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:29:09 2010 No.6275581 What made you think attention whoring on /jp/ would be a good idea?

>>	Sudo !Tohsaka8ks Tue Oct 12 16:30:09 2010 No.6275585 File: 84 KB, 1280x720, [Zero-Raws] Tantei Opera Milky Holmes - 01 (MX 1280x720 x264 AAC).mkv_snapshot_08.15_[2010.10.11_04.16.39].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:30:09 2010 No.6275588 Are we being invaded, or is this what /jp/ is like nowadays? brocrown 1852

>>	OP !!zXUKDReK+nN Tue Oct 12 16:30:09 2010 No.6275589 >>6275563 Yes. I don't advertise my otaku interests to the world. I can count the number of friends I've had on one hand ;_; >>6275566 I would love to.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:30:09 2010 No.6275590 It's like you're me except I'm a guy.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:31:09 2010 No.6275592 File: 5 KB, 420x300, simple instructions to a happy life.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:31:09 2010 No.6275593

>>6275554
Okay, /jp/
I'm a girl.
I'm not a virgin.
I've had lots of boyfriends.
I like taking boys first kisses.
I'm thin and pretty. Dark hair, blue eyes, tall, white, scene.
I have great self esteem, I'm a yandere whore bitch.
I can beat all your asses at Touhou, I like anime girls and go outside and have a life.
I can cook amazingly, I clean also.
I hate cuddling and don't want a relationship.
I'm a closed off bitch.
Ask me anything.
And yes I'll take pictures and tell you where I live/personal info.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:31:09 2010 No.6275595
File: 8 KB, 400x370, aikido.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Do you want to be wise? Learn Aikido
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:31:09 2010 No.6275596 >>6275588 We've had some seriously retarded people lurking around here since last night.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:32:09 2010 No.6275599 >>6275589 >I would love to. What kinds do you prefer?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:32:09 2010 No.6275603 >>6275593 This one sounds better. for losing my virginity

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:33:09 2010 No.6275607 File: 19 KB, 450x532, 1286639468035.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:33:09 2010 No.6275608 >I've only kissed a boy once. Elaborate

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:33:09 2010 No.6275609

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:33:09 2010 No.6275610

Everyday I look at /fit/ and laugh. They are so pathetic, wasting there time in a hot stinky gym lifting weights.

I just do Aikido and I look twice as aesthetic as the best looking /fit/ poster. I'm probably twice as strong too, strong enough to compete competitively as a strongman or Olympic lifter.

But I can actually use my strength to defend myself, I can probably take on four Brock Lesnars.

At once.

>>	ZUN !barYV1VtIA Tue Oct 12 16:33:09 2010 No.6275613 >>6275596 Seriously brolo I looked through the first 10 pages and it was the most retarded /jp/ I've ever seen in months. I see our maid took an emergency trip to Las Vegas as well.

>>	Satorin !KOMEijI/Jg Tue Oct 12 16:34:09 2010 No.6275616 >>6275554 Will you marry me? Or at least say hi?

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:34:09 2010 No.6275617

Have you ever been in love, OP?

I haven't. Not with another human being at least. After dedicating my mind and spirit to Aikido I haven't found much room for anything else.

Sure I've been on dates before with beautiful women, but whenever they find out that I am a student of the world's strongest martial art, the dinner always ends there. They sometimes even offer to pay, in fear of their lives.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:34:09 2010 No.6275620

Its lunch, I went to my favourite sandwich shop, got a delicious veal sandwich and was on my way back home. There was this thuggish "Nigga" style black dude, he was behind me, I stopped, because he was walking quite fast, and I didn't want to be in his way.
He comes up to me, and asked, “Do you have any money?”, I knew where he was going with this, so I said, “Yeah, but you’re not getting any of it.”, and I walked away. I suppose it’s in his blood, he was going to punch the back of my head but I quickly grabbed and threw him over my shoulder, he fell down and became unconscious. I checked if he had any drugs/money, found cocaine in his jacket and called the cops.
I guess it wasn’t really a fight since it lasted less than 10 seconds, it really shows how effective Aikido is in real life situations.
It feels good to help the police catch drug dealers/druggies.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:34:09 2010 No.6275621 >>6275554 Not pure. >>6275593 Least pure.

Bernkastel !BernFAQk3E Tue Oct 12 16:34:09 2010 No.6275622

>I am a girl.

I don't care

>I am a Virgin.

I don't care.

>I've never had a boyfriend.

I don't care

>I've only kissed a boy once.

I don't care about your life

>I am thin, average looking. Brown hair, green eyes, glasses, white.

Cool

>I have severe self esteem, assertiveness, and depression issues.

As all the girls I have met before. Nothing special.

>I play Touhou, read VNs and lurk /jp/ all day and rarely go outside.

As many of us. Not me but...

>I can cook, but hate cleaning.

Fine...

>I love cuddling, but am afraid of getting into a relationship.

Well... you should. It might be dangerous

>I am open about pretty much anything.

W-What does that mean??

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:34:09 2010 No.6275623 File: 75 KB, 173x246, why_is_that.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >get out of jp-tan.png

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:35:09 2010 No.6275624 File: 61 KB, 580x923, zyzz.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6275610 >I look twice as aesthetic as the best looking /fit/ poster hahaha nope

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:35:09 2010 No.6275627

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT im tired of your shit about aikido being a powerful martial art. its not even a fucking real martial art you fucking dumb weeaboo shit. all those fancy throws and submissions are the exact same bullshit you see in fake american wrestling shows. you use aikido in a fight against any real professional fighter you'll get your ass kicked. period. fucking stupid weeaboos

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:35:09 2010 No.6275629

Years ago, I was a Gap youkai, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I manipulated the boundary of life and death, he reversed it like I was a mere Rumia. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing Danmaku Bounded Field, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:35:09 2010 No.6275630 >>6275622 Hey it's this tripfag again. I thought you left to kill yourself?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:36:09 2010 No.6275633 File: 147 KB, 500x500, 1282009545577.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6275595 I want to learn Aikido.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:36:09 2010 No.6275634 >>6275621 >>6275554 >Fat hambeast >>6275593 >Beautiful PD

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:36:09 2010 No.6275635

>>6275624
Have some love handles that you would love to get rid of?

There is a way. A quick way.

Aikido.

You will be down to 10% body fat by the forth month, while learning the most effective martial arts at the same time. I used to have fat around my stomach area, did Aikido, now my six pack can be seen by all the ladies.

Become fit and kick ass at the same time.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:37:09 2010 No.6275636

For real, what does an Aikido practitioner do against a trained wrestler?

The way I see it, if a wrestler is careful and gets into grab range he will have an advantage.
As far as I know Aikido isn't about throwing punches, and that's just great for a wrestler who's main objective is to get a superior position.

And if the wrestler would get into a superior position, then it would be over, all of wrestling is to get into the superior position and maintain it.
All of the wrestler's training would have gone into it, wheras the aikido practitioner wouldn't be trained for the same situations.

What would an aikido practitioner do?

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:37:09 2010 No.6275641

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:37:09 2010 No.6275642 >>6275593 Perfect girl in my eyes also captcha said "/n/"

Satorin !KOMEijI/Jg Tue Oct 12 16:38:09 2010 No.6275643

aikido; acne; neckbeard; Burzum; decommissioned; Accelerator; heirloom; Mugi; pixeled; accuret; almost-hidden; CHR; LCK; thrusting; silver; VATS; lemmings; windows; linux; vibrations; mythbusters; Debian; Slackware; CP; Dr. Light; Protoman; Wily; megaman; breakfast; misuse; hideous; winterwings; Drown; seince; Asakura; bullshite; azaka-chan; whined; rly; f5; kike; zoosexual; cmon; pissfag; catastrophe; infallible; brawler; ultimatum; MILF; evangelion; malevolence; objection; europe; ptz; thinkpad; chess; NTR; compton; FHC; unfeminine; tanasinn; heels; neighbor's; blacks; navis; wal-mart; mentality; unbeatable; ken-sama; transmuting; kopipe; asinn; anata; weeaboo; catpeople; lonnnng; nigger; failgets; vipper; re-think; yoshida; dikush; american; charlie; nonstandardized

This will filter out most of the spammers spam.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:38:09 2010 No.6275644 >>6275634 What is a "beautiful pig disgusting"? Don't you mean beautiful 3D?

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:38:09 2010 No.6275645

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:38:09 2010 No.6275648 You never learn, /jp/. YOU NEVER LEARN.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:38:09 2010 No.6275651 >>6275642 Would you like to chat?

>>	ZUN !barYV1VtIA Tue Oct 12 16:39:09 2010 No.6275653 >>6275624 >>butthurt /fit/ fatty getting mad from kopipe OK this thread had some good come of it at least. Thanks Aikido bro.

Suigin !fKazami5bE Tue Oct 12 16:39:09 2010 No.6275654

>>6275554
Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:39:09 2010 No.6275655

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:40:09 2010 No.6275661 Can you at least dump some copy pasta I can fap to?

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:40:09 2010 No.6275662 >>6275654 Where do you come up with these things?

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:40:09 2010 No.6275663

>>6275655
My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

Bernkastel !BernFAQk3E Tue Oct 12 16:40:09 2010 No.6275664
File: 140 KB, 934x625, 1284665984119.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6275630
I tried to kill myself like 5 or 6 times. But when I do, I come to life again. I don't know what to do to kill myself... Probably I should try to troll you.

>>	OP !nFOG3LWSdo Tue Oct 12 16:40:09 2010 No.6275665 File: 104 KB, 562x891, Brinesha.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] ok ok, fine this is what i look like

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:40:09 2010 No.6275666 >>>/v/75560056 Shut the fuck up, OP.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:41:09 2010 No.6275669 >>6275641 The first time I saw this one it was actually in a JAV thread. I laughed quite loud.

>>	OP !nFOG3LWSdo Tue Oct 12 16:41:09 2010 No.6275670 >>6275665 hawt

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:41:09 2010 No.6275672 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666 >>6275666

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:42:09 2010 No.6275674 >>6275670 lol...

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:42:09 2010 No.6275676

>>6275661
Mugi awoke in a small room. This was not home. There were no keyboards. No Afternoon Tea Times. She was cold and alone. Terrified, she attempted to get to her feet, before realizing she was chained by her ankle to the wall, and she was in a strange set of clothes. A hand going to her head, she also realized that her hair had been cut short. Tears forming in her eyes, she felt a sickening fear in her stomach. The door suddenly opened, bringing with it an overwhelming stench of brewed coffee.

"...Is my darling Accelerator awake?" Stan Lee asked, standing in the doorway.

"A-Accelerator...?" Mugi asked, confused. "I...my name is Mu-" she screamed. Stan Lee, in an instant, had thrown a cup of something scalding hot onto her. It had gotten all over her thighs and forearms...coffee. She wasn't surprised. Tears freely falling, she struggled to get up once more, chain clinking in resistance.

"Accelerator, you know I don't like it when you struggle!" the man shouted, pain audible in his voice. "...don't be upset. I'll make it all better. I'll get Joey to make me some more coffee after we're finished..." he said, facial features contorted in a manic smile.

Mugi felt a sickening fear in the pit of her stomach. What did he mean by that...? "Please, you have the wrong person! Who am I dressed up as!? My ha-"

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:42:09 2010 No.6275679 >>6275651 I'm afraid you might be a troll

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:42:09 2010 No.6275682

Stan Lee was on top of her, his tongue in her mouth.

The small girl felt bile rising in her throat as his thick coffee breath seemed to choke her. She felt him swirling his tongue around her own, and desperately tried to pull away, but to no avail.

"Accelerator...don't fight me. I'll scald you right in your ass...well. I know I'll be scalding you with my willy, but after that..." Stan Lee whispered, breath hot in her ear. "Let's get you out of those clothes...I've got to discuss an X-Men and Yotsuba&! crossover with a good japanese friend of mine..."

Mugi couldn't move as she felt her top being slowly pulled off. Her burns ached horribly, and him straddling her like that wasn't helping...oh god, why her?!

The seconds seemed to last years as she was slowly stripped naked from the top up. Openly crying, her body was heaving with sobs.

"Oh, Accelerator...it's okay. I know it hurts, but soon enough you'll feel all better..." his tongue traced her ear, before suckling on the lobe gently. His hands were gently rubbing her sides, before going up to her chest.

"Wha-...my dear, when on earth did you get breasts?" the elderly man asked, confused. Mugi screamed in protest.

"I'm Mugi! Tsumugi Akiyama! I play the keyboard! I'm in a band! I'm in love with Mio-" a hand down her pants. He gently stroked her pubic hair, before beginning to rub her slit.

>>	Satorin !KOMEijI/Jg Tue Oct 12 16:43:09 2010 No.6275684 >>6275664 Killing yourself is a horrible thing to too. I could share a little love with you if you wanted it...

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:43:09 2010 No.6275685 >>6275679 Not a troll. I'll give you my throw away email, if you want.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:43:09 2010 No.6275686

A low moan escaped her, just barely. "St-Stan Lee..." she whispered, trying to fight her natural urges.

"...Yes, Accelerator?" he asked, crazed passion in his eyes. His erection was creating quite the bulge in his pants, and it was clear the comic writer was packing heat.

'No!' she thought to herself, before catching a faint glimpse of herself reflected in his glasses. Oh...oh god. She was...she was dressed up like this...Accelerator thing! What was an accelerator anyways? A car part? Why would a car dress like this?!

"Get off me!" she yelled, slapping at his face and neck.

"Shut the fuck up, Accelerator! I've spent thousands of dollars trying to find you, and you're going to love me whether you like it or not!" he yelled back, tears in his eyes. He wasn't even making sense...a single finger slid inside of her.

"St-Stan! Stop it now!" she said, cheeks growing hot as he began to suck on her collarbone. Mugi couldn't enjoy this...not with this man. Not as some 'accelerator'...she continued to sob as he pulled her pants and underwear down to her ankles.

"Oh, how I've been waiting..." he moaned, unzipping his pants.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:43:09 2010 No.6275688

I lay hidden in a crater about 15 meters away from the Moon King. His guards are no where insight, so I seize the opportunity by dashing foward at speed only known to the cheetahs. I swiftlly pull out my hidden blade which is the same kitchen knife my father used to murder my mother when I was 8, he proceded to give me this knife as if it were some family heirloom. Which I obviously kept for that was the only father son moment I had with him before he went to prison. Anyways with the kitchen knife quickly at the throat of the Moon King, I begin cutting at it very slowly as I show him his printed post history. Seein his life flash before his very eyes. As he bleeds out I use the remainder of the time to give him omega wedgies and when he dies he poops two turds out, but since I gave him such great wedgies it was like he was wearing a thong so when he pooped his turds split in half so it looked like he pooped four turds in total. I then update my facebook to "I'm the new moon king" and fart while doing it because its microblogging.

such a muderous era of kings and queens.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:43:09 2010 No.6275689 AND HERE COME THER /v/IRGINS!

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:44:09 2010 No.6275691

He was...he was going to have sex with her. Mugi knew it was going to happen, and she only began to sob harder as the man took his shirt off. "I'll make you feel...incredible." he said, removing his finger from her vaginal orfice.

She shut her eyes tightly, hoping to god this was a nightmare...her eyes snapped open as his finger began poking at her anus. "Nooo!" she shouted, flailing as best she could. She tried to push him off, desperately, her burns absolutely screaming with pain.

"Shh...shhh..." he cooed, before another figure entered the room.

"Ah, Joey!" he exclaimed, grabbing the fresh, steaming cup of coffee from the boy's hands. He was missing his fingernails.

Taking a swig, he used his free hand to slowly probe Mugi's tight ass, getting it in to the knuckle. She was in utter agony.

"Oh...we'll need some lube, won't we..." Stan said, thinking for a minute. "I didn't have any prepa..." he trailed off, looking at his half empty cup of coffee. Mugi's eyebrows raised in absolute terror.

"It'll only sting for a moment..." he muttered, removing his finger from her anus. Placing it and another finger into the steaming coffee, he winced a little at the heat. "This'll let me slide into your fine ass just fine..."

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:44:09 2010 No.6275692 File: 12 KB, 474x319, 1286856471865.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6275689 Are you a wizzard ?

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:44:09 2010 No.6275694

Two fingers slid into her so quickly it was like someone had fired a bullet straight into her butthole. "Fuwaaaaa!" she screamed, frantically trying to crawl backwards to get his elderly fingers out of her anus. It was so hot...and two fingers was painful enough already...his entire dick would absolutely kill her!

"P-please stop..." she cried out, as he fingerfucked her whimpering ass.

"Accel, listen...I need you. I love you more than anything I've created. I love you more than coffee. More than the moon, the sky, the earth...more than Spiderman and the X-Men. You're the only one for me." as Stan Lee placed a gentle kiss on her lips, Mugi found herself unable to fight back...

Stan Lee lowered himself, gently grasping her reddened thighs and placing them on his shoulders. "You ready, darling?"

Without thinking, she nodded.

He poured more of the coffee on his raging boner, moaning as it audibly scalded his tender dick flesh. A split second later, he slowly prodded the tip into her ass, moaning out Accelerator's name as he fit half his cock inside.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:44:09 2010 No.6275695 File: 24 KB, 300x300, 1286322186562.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >This thread on /jp/ >This thread on /v/

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:45:09 2010 No.6275698

"A-Ah...Stan..." Mugi moaned out, as she felt him begin to play with her breasts, gently squeezing her nipples. "Ah...Stan...let me be your Accelerator!" she shouted, hands grabbing the sides of his face, pulling him closer. She licked at his lips like a wild animal until he responded with his own tongue. They entered a small tongue war, until their lips finally connected in a deep, wet kiss.

Stan Lee slowly eased the rest of himself into her, and slowly started pumping his hips. "Accelerator, you're so god damned tight...ahhh...my balls are racing to the heavens..." he cried, breaking away from their kiss for a minute. Mugi began to kiss his adam's apple, and sucked on his neck. "Fuck me, Stan Lee. Fuck me like you've never fucked a japanese high school girl before..."

"I didn't know you were in high school, Accelerator!" he said, astonished, as he started thrusting harder, voice swarthy and filled with lust.

"I-I am!" Mugi replied, before kissing him once more.

There was no longer a need for words. They kissed endlessly, deep at first, then butterfly kisses, then deep once more.

Stan Lee was absolutely ramming her ass now, balls slapping against her ass audibly. It only aroused her more. Her pussy juices trickled down to her ass, providing further lubrication as it mixed with the coffee.

He felt as if he were fucking something sent by god, made of pure ecstasy, molded for his cock and his cock only...like one of those flashlight vaginas, only it was his most beloved Accelerator.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:45:09 2010 No.6275700

>>6275661
Lunachild is the sexiest fairy. I have an insatiable urge to stick my penis in her hair, watching her awkwardly give me a handjob with her locks of hair tightly embraced around my cock. And her mouth...I can't help but imagine my tears of semen dribbling out of her beautiful teardrop mouth as she looks as me with a confused glance. That's not even going in depth on what I would do to her small, delicate, perfect body. Perhaps I would tease her tiny, delicious nipples with my tongue. However, one thing I'd love to try would be to squeeze her small, tight ass with my hands as I ravage her from behind. The mere thought of listening to her adorable squeals and moans while caressing her silky, fairy body excites me so much. Licking her smooth, bare armpits while injecting my sperm inside her would make me one of the happiest men in the world, especially after seeing her lying down exhausted afterwards, her teardrop mouth gasping for breath. That would only be the beginning though, because I have no idea where I'd end with her.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:45:09 2010 No.6275701 >>6275695 Ours is better.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:46:09 2010 No.6275704 >>6275655 your dad dyed of cancer and then proceeded to beat you

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:46:09 2010 No.6275705

"Faster!" she moaned between kisses. "So hard...need...you...ahh!" Mugi had just experienced her first orgasm not brought on by masturbation. It started in her abdomen, like a sickening sticky heat rising up through her whole body, sending a tidal wave of ecstasy through her brain. Only Stan Lee could make her feel like this...she knew it.

"Anything...ahh...anything for you, Acc...Accel!" Stan Lee shouted, his body dripping with sweat, as was Mugi's.

Realizing she was the only one who'd come so far, she clenched her anus at precisely timed intervals, the inner walls of her poop tube grasping as his cock.

"Ahhh...Accelerator...you feel so gooood!" Stan Lee shouted, pumping so fast his heart was beating out of control...his blood pressure skyrocketed. Stan Lee couldn't feel his left arm, but ignored it.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able too Accelerate for a week!" the man shouted.

"Fuck me, Stan! Fuck meee!" Mugi felt his dick grow hotter...he was going to...!

"Come inside me, Stan Lee! Come right in my quivering anus!"

"It's fuwa fuwa time!" the man shouted, thrusting so hard he felt as if he'd just hit her tonsils. His sweet seed exploded from his tip, filling up her ass.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:46:09 2010 No.6275706 >>>/a/41234658 Shitstorm time.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:46:09 2010 No.6275708

"I...my heart..."

"...Stan?!" Mugi whimpered, hand going to stroke his cheek. "Stan!? Are you...Stan!" Mugi sat up, letting his head rest on her small breasts.

He barely managed to pull out of her, his semen mixed with the coffee now dripping out of her onto the floor.

"...Acceler...ator...I...I love you... HHNNNNGHHHHH" Stan Lee had just experienced a heart attack. He lost consciousness in his sweetheart's arms, as she rocked him back and forth, openly weeping for the man who had only loved Accelerator.

"Stan...oh Stan..." Mugi whispered, gently stroking his hair. She sobbed. "I'm glad...I could make your final moments happy..." She took the cup of coffee...mere drops left. Tilting the cup to get those last drops, she held the liquid in her mouth...it was barely lukewarm.

She kissed him, gently prying open his lips with her tongue, letting the small bit of liquid flow into his mouth.

"...Goodnight, sweet prince." she whispered in his ear, embracing him, before slowly humming Fuwa Fuwa Time to his motionless body.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:47:09 2010 No.6275709

christ what is this?

rule 34! rule 34! get some proper porn in this thread!

anyway i was playing the game and i first saw this loli when her dad went into his home and i went in with him (otherwise the door is locked and i didnt have much lockpick). i was surprised to see a child sleeping in the game, the first one i had seen since the beginning of the game! and im afraid to say my dick got hard. she layed there sleeping on the bunk bed and her father had locked the heavy steel door to the room in the ship sealing us three in there. and i had heavy armor and a chinese assault rifle. i tried waking her up and talking to her, but she said she werent allowed to talk to strangers and went back to sleep. aww. <3 i turned to her father and took his life quietly without waking her up. now she was in there all alone with me. i gently shook her shoulder, "wake up honey". she turned and saw the remaints of her father, with a stunned look in her eyes. quickly i put my hands over her soft lips before she could make a sound that would reach outside the thick walls. i checked my inventory, indeed i had a ballgag in there. her eyes quickly went from her father to my eyes as she struggeled to get loose from my grip fruitlessly. i tightened my grip and whispered, "now you be quiet or you'll end up like your father". the pixeled tears ran down her cheek, bethesda really made them look good. i used the ballgag on her, now she could try to scream all she wanted. it was made for adults so it doesn't look too comfortable but that doesn't matter.

>>	Satorin !KOMEijI/Jg Tue Oct 12 16:47:09 2010 No.6275712 Come on spammer, get some new stuff, everything so far is being filtered. You're gonna need it when I start making my metathread here again.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:47:09 2010 No.6275713

i bent her over my lap, pushed her down as she struggled. with one hand holding her arms tightly behind her back, and the other giving her the beating of her lifetime i watched as her beautiful freckled face turned red and the tears started forming a small pool on the floor. enough is enough, i layed her on her back and started tearing of her clothes. she tried desperatly to hold on to her clothes so i started slapping her face, again and again. i used up two full rounds of action points just on slaps (and i have the action boy perk and 9 in agility). after that she didnt resist no more. I moved all her clothes to my inventory, they could be useful in repairing my power armor later on. i stroke the back of my hand down from her throat to her legs, which she had crossed. she shivered and made all kinds of wonderful noices as i passed her nipple. i bent down and licked the place where one day many years from now there would be full breasts. she lift her head up, with panic in her eyes. she started struggeling again. not stopping licking i simply used my left hand on her throat, shutting off her air for a couple of seconds. she seemed to get my point and calmed down a little. i grasped her hair tight with my right arm holding her head down against the bed. she shut her eyes hard for a while from the pain, the poor angel must be sensitive in her hair. i moved my left arm, still licking her body, to her legs and separated them. she started making different noices from before, a little more high-pitched and almost pleading. maybe she anticipated what was about to happen. i jammed a finger into her tight pussy, opening it for the first time. the sound effect for that wasn't 100% accuret but it was pretty acceptable.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:48:09 2010 No.6275722 >>6275712 Nobody gives a shit about what YOU see, Satorin. The point is that everyone is only seeing spam and that the discussion effectively ends there.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:48:09 2010 No.6275724

she pushed her back upwards from the pain. i felt the tears running through her hair and onto my hand, but that was okay. i worked her fast, adding another finger, then another... i stopped, allowing her to catch her breath a little. she tried throwing her head back and forth but my hand stopped her from moving much. there was blood between her legs and she was shaking all over. then i remembered i hadn't checked if there was any interactivity with her ass, and indeed there was. unfortunately i had sold the dildos i had found earlier in the game but luckily they hade made it so that you could use pretty much anything in there. i used a motorcycle handle on her ass, her eyes went back, almost looked like she had only white as eyes lol. placed a pilot light in her cunt, and believe it or not but there was an option to hit her clit so hard that the pilot lite would break! i didn't do that though, i did play a little with her almost-hidden clit though using some scrap metal. the sound effects were amazing, the kid they got to do her voice did a heck of a job, the muffled screams of "STOP STOP! PLEASE!" - very realistic. well enough play, i flipped her over on her stomach, she placed her head in her armes and continued to sob into them. i gave her a hard smack on the ass and told her to get up on all fours. she didnt do it so i gave her another one a little harder. she made an effort to get up so i smacked her again. she struggled to get on all four while i continued to beat the shit out of her ass over and over again. had to use two stimpaks on her unless i wanted her to die. eventually she made it to a doggy position, god it was a beautiful scene wish I had taken a screenshot. she was glowing red on her butt and also in her face. she was very warm i could tell.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:49:09 2010 No.6275727 >>6275679 MY THROWAWAY EMAIL IS stupidnessfrombeyondthegrave@yahoo.com

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:49:09 2010 No.6275728

she didnt look at me, her head was turned downwards like she was looking at her hand that was closest to the wall. i grabbed her head and forced her to look straight in my eyes. i whispered, "you are doing so well, it's almost over. i love you. dont you love me?". the way i looked her mustve made her realize that if she did not respond to that there would be nothing good to follow. she nodded slightly and looked up at me with her puppy eyes. i kissed her forhead. she closed her eyes, tears still flooding out. using my tongue i foced her eyelid open and licked her eyes. she paniced and tried to retract but i held her head too hard. she put her arms on my biceps. i pretended that she only wanted to hug, so i hugged her for a while. "you just want to be held isn't that it? you just want someone to love you." a moment of silence only broken by muffled sobs followed. then i threw her face down on the bed, continuing to push her upper back down with my right arm as i repositioned myself behind her raised behind (hehe). it was a little hard to fit back there, but it's a game so it worked fine. i rammed my cock in her tight little honey-pot, opening her red strained eyes wide. my in-game cock, like my irl one, is long and thick; luckily i used CHR as a dump stat in the beginning so i could spend a lot of points on DCK.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:49:09 2010 No.6275729

>>6275663
Are you a well-read person?

If so, you have chances to pick up your usual Anon. After all, /jp/(Erika) is secretly stalkling /lit/(Battler) for a good reason.

Also, I myself have a huge acne scar making me look like some Indian princess given my long hair, but for everything else on your body you should know that fresh clothes cure it in pretty much all cases. If you are girl, use pajamas to get clean skin - they work like a fresh towel under face. Not to mention everyone has fetish for them.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:49:09 2010 No.6275730

i jumped right to it, moving in and out as fast as i could. she seemed to be in a lot of pain. i used a lot of drugs ("chems") to increase my performence: buffout, jet, med-x. i stuffed my little play thing full of mentats too, so she would be more aware of whats happening and all the feelings rushing through her head. then i was really glad i had gagged her, without supression those screams would have been heard through a lot of walls. i pulled her head up using her hair, forcing her to take the doggie position again. my left hand had a hard grip of her left butt cheek, the shaders did a good job telling me just how extremely hard I was gripping her ass. A nice feature, as i was going i could control my left thumb somewhat freely and managed to stick it in her ass so i could play with that too. eventually my LCK ran out and i came buckets inside her, some of it dripping out onto the bed, some of it going down her leg. i let go and light up a smoke. she fell over on the side, turning over in pain putting her hands over her croch as she took on the fetus position. i chuckled a little and kissed her on the shoulder. i sat down beside her dead father leaned against the wall at the opposite end of the room, just looking at her small bodie for a while. Even now after i came i still thought she looked good, i still wanted to play more. i got up and took her left arm and lifted her up, almost making her hang in the air with her feet barely touching the floor.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:50:09 2010 No.6275734

she had no strength to support herself right now. with my other arm i lifted her chin and looked her straight in the eye, "if you make any noice at all i'm going to kill everyone on this ship and then burn you alive, you got that?!". she became silent, only breathing heavily. "well??", i asked again. she nodded. I took off the ballgag, keeping it in my inventory until the next time i had need for it. i let her go, her knees hit the floor hard as she fell down like a pile of ropes dropped from height. she must be low on hit points by now. no matter. she slowly looked up at me, her lips shaking. she opened her mouth like she was going to say something but it appeared as if the words just couldnt come out. she breathed havily. i pointed at my cumsoaked dick, "you are going to clean this mess you did". some blood were there too. she didn't want to of course but had little choice, she started licking my limb dick. as she went on, it quickly became hard again. this surprised her a little, she looked at me then quickly went on her business. i layed down on the floor with her ontop of me, i bet it must be cold in this steel room if you're naked like her. i instructed her to stop simply licking and start sucking. she did it the way you would expect a girl in her age to do it. another beautiful scene formed with light reflecting her tears streaming down her chins then onto my dick, before meeting her lips again as she came down on my shaft again - and again. i grew tired of her wimpy ways and put my both hands on the back of her head and pushed her head down. surprised she moved her hands a little, but by now she had learned not to anger me. i jammed my cock down her throat faster and faster, making it hard for her to breathe. she gagged a little but didnt throw up. lucky for her. thrusting, thrusting, harder and further until finally... i pressed her against my stomach, bending her nose sideways.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:50:09 2010 No.6275735 >>6275722 Hey anon, I care. Fuck you.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:50:09 2010 No.6275736

her arms were going all over the place as i pumped my silver flow into her person. there were so much quite much even came back out through her nose! her legs started twitching too, it was clear she was suffocating. i finally finished, looked up at the roof and relaxed a little. that was great. then i pulled out, she fell over on the side coughing and coughing. if i didnt know better i would say she cough up all the sperm but that would have been impossible. she had probably gotten a third of my load in her lungs, haha she looked so silly. but that coughing could become quite loud so i silenced her by placing my hand over her mouth. she continued to cough through her nose for a while. after a while when it looked like she had gotten most of her airway free i let her go. "you naughty little girl, you made me dirty again!". She looked terrified. "but.. but...". she started crying into her hands. "there there", I said. "now you must clean up the mess in here". "what do you mean?" she whispered with what little voice she could muster from her sore throat. i grabbed her face and shoved it into the blood-cum mixtured puddle on the bed. "this of course you little bitch! trying to sneak youself out of your work huh?". "n-no, i-i.." i repeated what she had just stuttered with disgust in my tone. "get to it missy!" She started licking the puddle up. Half-way through she threw up. "Oh now you've done it!" I thrashed her around, making sure she remembered to not scream while I did it. When I grew bored of it I made her eat what was left of the puddle, including what she had vomited up. And of couse she had to clean the floor too where we had made love.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:51:09 2010 No.6275737 >>6275729 >some indian princess. Wat?

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:51:09 2010 No.6275738

Looked like the area closest to her father's corpse was the hardest to clean, wonder why? :) After she was done i had her try out some jet. Well, not some - a lot! i had over 100 in my inventory, she had to keep going until I noticed she had gotten addicted. then i simply used my doctor skill on her to remove the effects of the jet, but not the addiction, and watched her having her withdrawals. She looked like she wanted to die. I played with her for a few hours more and then i noticed that it was almost time for the ship to start waking up. Looks like it was time to grant her wish of death. I cleaned myself off with purified water and zipped up. I grabbed my chinese assault rifle and aimed at her. although there was much scare and pain in here eyes I was uncertain if she knew exactly what was going on anymore? she really looked filthy. "you disgust me, look at yourself" i said. "there is no way of fixing you now is there?". I smiled and enabled my VATS. one quick burst to the head will be enough, i crit on almost every shot anyway and always make the head fall off. i would be out of and war away from the room before anyone could figure out that i was the one that pulled the trigger. i shot. i hit. "I'm getting out of here!" she started shouting. "What the hell?", I thought to myself. she now ran back and forth in the room with her hands above her head. she couldn't get out because i hadn't unlocked the door with her father's key yet. i must've missed, i went into VATS mode again and shot two bursts, one in her head and the other in her little body. i know i hit! "I'm getting out of here!" she repeatadly taunted me. screw the VATS, i went free-hand and emptied two clips in her -- she still runs around like an idiot!

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:51:09 2010 No.6275739 copypasta on /v/ and /a/ right now. OP confirmed for troll/faggot.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:51:09 2010 No.6275740

i cant even interact with her anymore! i mined the whole floor, she just walked over them without setting them off! i heared there were now people outside that wanted in. screw it, i positioned myself in the opening of the door, opened it and swiftly ran out. she followed, ran fast to the end of the corridor and disappeared around a corner. a whole bunch of angry adults, seemed like the whole ship, was path-bound to the now unlocked room and all ran into it like lemmings setting off the mines, dropping like leafs a cold winter night. wtf is wrong with the AI? the whole ship is dead, now i have to reload! god damn it Bethesda you have extremely detailed and well-made child rape scenes but you won't let me kill even a single one of them?? FUCK THIS GAME!

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:52:09 2010 No.6275741 >>6275735 Hey faggot. Forgot your trip there.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:52:09 2010 No.6275743

HI,

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:53:09 2010 No.6275744

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/upgrade/4243994.html?page=3

>MythBusters: 7 Tech Headaches—and How to Fix Them Innovation is meant to make life easier. So why is this TV geek so annoyed? (Click here for more PM stories by the MythBusters, and watch brand-new episodes starting Jan. 16!)
>By Jamie Hyneman

>In the tech world this phenomenon is known as “software bloat” or “feature bloat.” It's a well-documented problem and a frequent complaint about Windows OSs—Vista in particular. In addition to being buggy, the extra features tend to bog down your system by demanding more processing power and memory. Computer-makers: Don't load up operating systems with features and then make us sweat to figure out how to get rid of the fat.

>Most features can be set up as options. Why not start with a computer loaded with basic stuff that works 100 percent of the time? Then, give us the option of adding the bells and whistles. There's another solution available to consumers: Switch to a Linux-based OS such as Ubuntu. Since most Linux OSs are free, there's no business reason to bloat up the system with feature frills.

Myth: Fags Got Told
Status: Confirmed

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:54:09 2010 No.6275747 >>6275741 >There's no way someone could like Satorin so I'm going to assume he's samefagging. Nice try but no.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:54:09 2010 No.6275750

Fedora Air: You fly for free in an experimental jet with parts being manufactured by a large corporation. Not everything works properly and sometimes your chair will break. The corporate backer doesn't really care since you aren't a paying cutomer.

Debian Air: It's a smooth flight on an old plane. You've got the option of having a basic chair right away or building it yourself. You've got the choice of an attractive stewardess that will offer you suggestions, or a plain stewardess that will do what you say quickly, while reminding you of things you need. It doesn't work on new routes and airports, but it's got a wide array of destinations that many other airlines don't bother with.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:54:09 2010 No.6275751

Ubuntu Air: Uses the newer planes with a new paint job from Debian Air, which still experience a bit of turbulence. It's the busiest airport and is funded by a millionaire who used to work at Debian Air. You have a choice of an ditsy blond stewardess who just brings you what you ask for, or stewardesses just like Debian air had, but there are a lot more annoying teenagers on board.

Slackware Air: Gives you a nice, comfortable seat, but there's not a full time stewardess and she makes you get all of the parts yourself if you want to make changes. Doesn't utilize the turbo jets on newer airplanes, but it's fast enough that most passengers don't complain.

Arch Air: Gives you a pile of parts and a stewardess to help you sort through them. Also, has a thick manual for any questions you have. Any time you want, you can update your seat to use the newest parts.

Gentoo Air: You are given a given a block of metal, an even thicker manual, and a blowtorch.

Mint Air: Similar to Ubuntu Air but the aircraft is styled differently. Also halfway through the flight a group of terrorist hijacks the plane and screams "ALLAH ACKBAR!" and demands the flight be diverted to Palestine. A struggle ensues between an undercover air marshal and one of the hijackers who happens to have a bomb strapped to his body. The bomb goes off accidentally, tearing the jet in half and suddenly you find yourself tumbling through the air. You wake up suddenly from your nightmare, realizing you're safe and sound on an Ubuntu Air flight. The stewardess serves you green tea and mints, winking.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:54:09 2010 No.6275753 >>6275593 Perfect girl! I emailed you!

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:55:09 2010 No.6275755

Do you need CP?
Do you need to download everything as fast as possible for some unexplainable reason?
Do you have a shitty ISP that forcibly rapes you for exceeding bandwidth usage?
Are you paranoid and delusional?
Do you want people to think you are a hacker?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, usenet is for you. otherwise just use torrents.

Satorin !KOMEijI/Jg Tue Oct 12 16:55:09 2010 No.6275756

aikido; acne; neckbeard; Burzum; decommissioned; Accelerator; heirloom; Mugi; pixeled; accuret; almost-hidden; CHR; LCK; thrusting; silver; VATS; lemmings; windows; linux; vibrations; mythbusters; Debian; Slackware; CP; Dr. Light; Protoman; Wily; megaman; breakfast; misuse; hideous; winterwings; Drown; seince; Asakura; bullshite; azaka-chan; whined; rly; f5; kike; zoosexual; cmon; pissfag; catastrophe; infallible; brawler; ultimatum; MILF; evangelion; malevolence; objection; europe; ptz; thinkpad; chess; NTR; compton; FHC; unfeminine; tanasinn; heels; neighbor's; blacks; navis; wal-mart; mentality; unbeatable; ken-sama; transmuting; kopipe; asinn; anata; weeaboo; catpeople; lonnnng; nigger; failgets; vipper; re-think; yoshida; dikush; american; charlie; nonstandardized

This will stop the next 120~ spam posts.

Unless he has new stuff.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:55:09 2010 No.6275757

Narrator: No one was left who could remember how it had happened,
how the world had fallen under darkness.
At least no one who would do anything.
No one who would oppose the robots.
No one who would challenge their power,
or so Dr. Wily believed...

Twenty floors above the dark streets of the city, Dr. Light lived in a run-down tenement.
An eccentric and brilliant man.
Light was a loner, a thinker, a man of ideas.
Ideas forbidden in Wily's society.
The society for which he worked.
The society in which he lived.
The society that he would set free.
And so Light worked, far into the night, when the watchful eyes of Wily's robots weren't upon him.
He'd set his skillful hands to the task of creating a device to bring about a change, to create a machine to bring freedom, to create a man to save the world.
Twelve years Light worked and on a cold night in the year 200X, Protoman was born.
A perfect man, an unbeatable machine, hell-bent on destroying every evil standing between man and freedom, built for one purpose, to destroy Wily's army of evil robots. Ready, willing, prepared to fight.

Cutman
Gutsman
Elecman
Bombman
Fireman
Iceman
Proto

Fireman: Attack!

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:56:09 2010 No.6275760 >>6275753 Thanks, I got it ~(^-^)~

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:56:09 2010 No.6275762

Narrator: And as the smoke cleared!
Wily rose above the countless robots remaining. Protoman was wounded, low on energy, struggling to remain standing as Wily ordered the final attack.
The death of Protoman.

The crowd had gathered there to watch him fall, to watch their hopes destroyed.
They watched them beat him, they watched them break him, they watched his last defense deployed.
There was not a man among them who would let himself be heard.
But from the crowd, from their collective fear, arose these broken words:
We are the dead
We are the dead

Human Choir: What have we done?
Narrator: We are the dead
Human Choir: What will we do?
Narrator: We are the dead
Human Choir: Where will we turn?
Narrator: We are the dead
Human Choir: Is there nothing we can do?
Narrator: We are the dead
Human Choir: How did it come to this?
Narrator: We are the dead
Human Choir: How did we go so wrong?
Narrator: We are the dead
Human Choir: We are the dead

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:57:09 2010 No.6275765

Dr. Light: You have heard me tell this story
Many times before you sleep
This time listen carefully

And I will tell you once again
But this time understand that what I'm telling you.
Every single word is true.

You need to know.

There was another who came before you
He was a hero and your brother and my son.
He fought the darkness, the darkness won.

And he fought bravely, and he died bravely
But he was forsaken by the ones he wished to save.
And when he died he died in vain.

You need to know.
You are not him.

That time is coming, and I must warn you
Though it's something that you may not understand
They can't be saved by just one man.

And I am sorry, cause I was wrong
And I'd take away the weight his shoulders had to bear.
Cause when he fell I was the only one that cared.

You need to know.
You are not him.
His fight's not yours.

Megaman broke away from his father's hold, ran to the window and looked out over the city. His eyes filled with tears. His heart hurt under the weight of what he'd just been told. How could his father do nothing? How could Dr. Light not avenge the death of Protoman?

That story's finished. That story's ended.
Understand there's nothing more that we can do.
And I will not risk losing you.

For if you leave now, you will be fighting
for a people that refuse to comprehend
They have chosen their own end.

So you will stay here. You will obey me.
And I will keep grieving for the son I sent to death.
You are all I have left.

You need to know.
You are not him.
This fight's not yours.

You cannot win.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:58:09 2010 No.6275768

>>6275756
Do you really think getting kopipe to post is hard? Fine, I'll stray from the usual routine just to show you.

The anti-American alliance is made up of self-loathing liberals who blame the Americans for every ill in the Third World, and conservatives suffering from power-envy, bitter that the world's only superpower can do what it likes without having to ask permission. The truth is that America has behaved with enormous restraint since September 11. Remember, remember. Remember the gut-wrenching tapes of weeping men phoning their wives to say, "I love you," before they were burned alive. Remember those people leaping to their deaths from the top of burning skyscrapers. Remember the hundreds of firemen buried alive. Remember the smiling face of that beautiful little girl who was on one of the planes with her mother. Remember, remember - and realise that America has never retaliated for 9/11 in anything like the way it could have. So a few al-Qaeda tourists got locked without a trial in Camp X-ray? Pass the Kleenex. So some Afghan wedding receptions were shot up after they merrily fired their semi-automatics in a sky full of American planes? A shame, but maybe next time they should stick to confetti. I love America, yet America is hated. America is hated because it is what every country wants to be - rich, free, strong, open, optimistic. Or do you really think the USA is the root of all evil? Tell it to the loved ones of the men and women who leaped to their death from the burning towers. Tell it to the nursing mothers whose husbands died on one of the hijacked planes, or were ripped apart in a collapsing skyscraper. And tell it to the hundreds of young widows whose husbands worked for the New York Fire Department. To our shame, George Bush gets a worse press than Saddam Hussein. Remember, remember, September 11. One of the greatest atrocities in human history was committed against America! No, do more than remember. Never forget.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:58:09 2010 No.6275772

The Rebel alliance is made up of self-loathing Jedi who blame the Empire for every ill in the galaxy, and politicians suffering from power-envy, bitter that the galaxy's only power can do what it likes without having to ask permission. The truth is that the Empire has behaved with enormous restraint since the Battle of Yavin. Remember, remember.

Remember the gut-wrenching holos of weeping stormtroopers phoning their partners to say, "I love you," before the station was destroyed. Remember those people leaping to their deaths from safety-pod hatches with no safety pods installed.

Remember the hundreds of droids buried alive.

Remember the smiling face of that beautiful girl who was in one of the detention cells. Remember, remember - and realise that the Empire has never retaliated for the destruction of the Death Star in anything like the way it could have.

So a few Rebels got locked without a trial in cellblock 1138? Pass the Kleenex.

So some Gungan wedding receptions were shot up after they merrily fired their blasters in a sky full of Empire shuttles? A shame, but maybe next time they should stick to confetti.

Remember, remember, the Death Star. One of the greatest atrocities in human history was committed against the Empire.

No, do more than remember. Never forget!

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 16:59:09 2010 No.6275777

The Earth Federation is made up of self-loathing bleeding-hearts who blame the Zabis for every ill in the Earth sphere, and elitists suffering from power-envy, bitter that the its colonies' only superpower can do what it likes without having to ask permission. The truth is that Zeon has behaved with enormous restraint since the death of Garma Zabi. Remember, remember.

Remember the gut-wrenching tapes of Garma phoning his girlfriend to say, "I love you," before he was burned alive. Remember him charging to his death from inside of a burning Gaw. Remember the hundreds of crewmen incinerated. Remember, remember - and realise that Zeon has never retaliated for Garma in anything like the way it could have.

So a few Side 6 tourists got locked without a trial? Pass the Kleenex. So some Southeast Asian wedding receptions were shot up after they merrily fired their semi-automatics into a jungle full of Zeon mobile suits? A shame, but maybe next time they should stick to confetti.

I love Zeon, yet Zeon is hated. Zeon is hated because it is what every country wants to be - rich, free, strong, open, optimistic. Or do you really think the Principality is the root of all evil?

Tell it to my brother Garma Zabi, who was incinerated by the Federation warship White Base. Tell it to the nursing mothers whose husbands died in that battle, or were ripped apart in the explosion. And tell it to the millions of young widows whose husbands gave their lives for the Principality. To our shame, Zeon Deikun gets a worse press than General Revil.

Remember, remember, Garma Zabi. One of the greatest atrocities in human history was committed against Zeon!

No, do more than remember. Never forget. SIEG ZEON!

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:00:09 2010 No.6275784

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, I get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency, using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service and drop the kids off at the public school.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:00:09 2010 No.6275785

Then, after spending the day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the department of labor and the occupational safety and health administration, I drive back to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and the fire marshall's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log onto the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration and post on freerepublic and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:01:09 2010 No.6275794 /jp/ Delicious virgins! All of you email me!>>6275593 >>6275727

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:01:09 2010 No.6275797

Anyone else here not a racist, but wishes the Nazis had won?

Theirs was a truly effective fascist government that took a nation on its knees from a depression and turned it into a military, technological and economic powerhouse within the space of thirty years.

It was a social experiment in the way that many reformed or new nations are. America was an experiment in democracy and (eventually) egalitarianism. The Soviet Union was an experiment in Communism. Nazi Germany was the grandest experiment of them all: a rejection of the gentle side of man and a wholehearted pursuit of our more teutonic side: The glorification of the strong, the self-sufficient, and the dominant. It was to be the beginning of a bolder and more uncompromising global civilization that would bring discipline where before there was only coddling; that would harden the soft, and that would not be afraid to say that equality means equal opportunities, not that all men regardless of education or skill are inherently equal to one another. It was a call out to all men to transcend their passive, mediocre existances and aspire to become the heroic and unstoppable species that mankind always had the potential to become.

Nazi Germany was the combined hopes, dreams and ambitions of all who dared to dominate; but in the end, these dreams were quashed by weak, subversive men who would rather hold their superiors back rather than attempt to catch up.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:01:09 2010 No.6275799

This is a transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The transcipt of the Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval operations on the 10th october 1995.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship, I say again, divert your course.

Canadians: Number One, I say again, divert your course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees noth. Thats one five degrees north, or counter measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:02:09 2010 No.6275805

Basically I have just figured out our governments biggest conspiracy. Obama rhymes with llama. Llamas are large animals that have wool for protection against cold. It is very cold in northern Russia. Russia has nukes. Japan was the only country nuked in ww2. Japan was nuked 2 times. 2 times 2 is four. a llama has 4 legs and 4 feet. If you shave a llama you have enough wool for 4 coats for small children. Obama has children. Obama has two children. 2 time s 2 is 4 and 4 divided by 2 is 2. If you add 2 + 2 it equals four and if you subtract 2 from 4 it equals 2. The second letter in Obama is B and the fourth letter in Barack is C. C is the 3rd letter in the alphabet and B is the second letter in the alphabet. Coincidence? No. Llamas cannot read the alphabet and neithe can Obama because he is a Llama. I hope this use your information it because very i mportant.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:02:09 2010 No.6275806

For nerds? Well excuse me... Some people grew up with it and is part of there culture aka asians. Also its a good thing to do when ur bored. + your list of anime is prob less thn 0.001% of whats actually on the market. Not all anime are or children and nerds there are large varietys targeted at different groups.

Also teen titans is not really anime tho drawn in a very similar/same style as anime. There are certain rules it does not follow making it a cross breed

And yes i am awfully offended at your steriotyping.

Thankyou. P.s. and no animes not just about hentai... Add more variety to your gallery...

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:03:09 2010 No.6275813

I'M GONNA DIE IF I DON'T USE MAGIC, AND EVERYONE WANTS ME TO USE MAGIC SO I DON'T DIE, BUT I WON'T USE MAGIC BECAUSE I'M HUMAN, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT HUMAN, AND EVERYONE KNOWS I'M NOT HUMAN, BUT I WANT TO BELIEVE THAT I'M HUMAN, SO THAT I CAN BE HUMAN AROUND EVERYONE, EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T CARE THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, SO I'LL JUST DIE LIKE A FUCKING RETARD RIGHT HERE OK?

OMG, MY BOYFRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF SO I SAVE HIM BY USING MAGIC, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T WANT TO USE MAGIC, BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE HUMAN, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE KNOWS THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE DOESN'T CARE THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, SO THEREFORE HE KILLS HIMSELF TO MAKE ME NOT HUMAN EVEN WHEN I BELIEVE THAT I AM HUMAN, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE NOT HUMAN, AND SO THAT I CAN JUST DIE LIKE A RETARD, JUST LIKE HE JUST DID BUT HE'S OK BECAUSE I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE STILL LOVES ME SO I'LL JUST GO SUCK HIM OFF NOW AFTER MY MUCH-HOTTER-THAN-ME MOM GIVES ME A HAIR CUT WHICH MAKES ME LESS ATTRACTIVE

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:03:09 2010 No.6275814

Yes I'm talking that anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It fucking sucks. Now it's pretty popular among the anime circles, and yet this poor excuse for an animated feature is the worst thing ever produced by a human being if you except Plan 9 from Outer Space, and I'm being generous.

First you gotta admit you hated the first episode. It made no sense, sucked as shit, wasn't funny, edgy or new. Or original. Animation sucked dead dogs' balls. Characters sucked dead dogs' balls. Voice actiong sucked dead dogs' balls. But you managed to make it through the whole pile of steaming poo just to see the ED. BEcause that's what this anime is about. It's about the ED. Those 1 minute and a half. There's nothing else to it. You went like "OMG ANIMATION LIEK" you freaking retards and now everyone likes it. Yet it's shit. It's complete shit with no redeeming qualities. There's fucking nothing to it. Just the dance at the end. It's a dancing anime. A fucking retarded danxcing anime with no story and nothing and no characters it sucks. You shouldn't like it you morons seriously. Just download the ED and loop it on your WMP you cockass faggot asses. DAMN I wish all those threads about HARUHI OMG YEAH would go one and everyone in them die FUCK YOU for polluting my forums HARUHI FUCK YOU.

AND NO IT 'S NOT A COPY PASTA I'VE JUST TYPED THIS WHOLE THING.

FUCK YOU

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:04:09 2010 No.6275819

Indeed, I would J-J-Jam it in! But I wouldn't be able to bring myself to move my hips at all, no, I would only tease Louise slightly, stroking her cheeks untill her already redend cheeks begin to glow with embarssement and joy. With my other hand I'm already reaching down her tiny, slender frame, reaching her twitching Vagoo and gently rubbing away untill she whimpers underneath me.

Then as Saito turns round the corner I acknoweldge the better man.
I have kept the wench warm for you, sire.
I will say, acknoweldging my duties were only to keep Louise real for a real man, a man with a slap that would rival Bright Noa (RIP old friend, RIP). I would watch, pOnOs aching to be with them, screaming out words of encouragement attempting to meld mine into their own.

If I were lucky, Saito would lift her thighs up giving me a full show, and knowing Saito's new found GARness, he would offer to me her rear access port to dock in, as a thank you for reving up the Jail Bait's engines for him.

Saito is a real man! *Tear of joy*

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:05:09 2010 No.6275823 That fap pasta was great. Both the Stan Lee and the Fallout one. Thank you.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:05:09 2010 No.6275825

YOU KNOW WHAT NARU? FUCK YOU! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GOD DAMNED WHORE, I SAID IT! IT'S CUNTS LIKE YOU WHO MAKE GUYS LIKE KEITARO THE WAY HE IS, A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING PUSSY! I CAN'T STAND ANIME GIRLS LIKE YOU! A GUY COMES UP AND SHOWS INTEREST IN YOU AND YOU JUST BRUSH HIM OFF BECAUSE YOU THINK HE'S BEING PERVERTED AND THEN WHEN HE GOES OFF TO START A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND YOU GET ALL OFFENDED AND DEFENSIVE THINKING "WHY IS HE TALKING TO HER?" AND THEN YOU AIM THAT JEALOUSY MORE AT KEITARO AND YOU CONFUSE HIM EVEN MORE! GODDAMN YOU NARU, AND IF THAT DOESN'T MAKE THINGS WORSE KEITARO HAS GENUINE ACCIDENTS THAT END UP IN HILARIOUS SITUATIONS AND YOU FUCKING BUTT IN AND PUNCH HIM OR GIVE HIM SOME UNDUE SHIT. I KNOW YOU MARRIED HIM AT THE END OF THE SERIES BUT I HOPE KEITARO WAKES UP ONE DAY FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND LEAVES YOUR BITCH ASS HAVING TO TURN TRICKS TO PAY OFF STUDENT LOANS AT TOKYO U WHILE HE’S RUN OFF HAVING A THREESOME WITH MUTSUMI AND KANAKO, AND HELL I BET ADULT KAOLLA AND FUCKING SHINOBU WILL BE THERE SINCE YOU KEPT FUCKING UP THEIR CHANCES WITH KEITARO. HAVE FUN GIVING HAND JOBS BEHIND THE JAPANESE 7-11 DURING THE DAY AND CRYING YOURSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THAT THE ONE TRUE MAN YOU EVER LOVED, OR FOR THAT MATTER EVER TRULY LOVED YOU NO MATTER HOW SHORT A TIME IT WAS, IS GONE AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE! AND WHEN DEATH COMES BREATHING DOWN YOUR FUCKING NECK, YOU CUM GUZZLING DUMPSTER WHORE, I HOPE THE GRIM REAPER TAKES YOU SCREAMING AND PLEADING TO THE VERY DARKEST BLACKEST DEPTHS OF THE HELL YOU CREATED FOR YOURSELF AND YOU SAMPLE THE TORMENT YOU PUT KEITARO THROUGH FOR ALL ETERNITY!

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:05:09 2010 No.6275826

YOU KNOW WHAT OROCHIMARU? FUCK YOU! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GOD DAMNED WHORE, I SAID IT! IT'S SLUTS LIKE YOU WHO MAKE GUYS LIKE SASUKE THE WAY HE IS, A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING PUSSY! I CAN'T STAND ANIME GUYS LIKE YOU! A GUY COMES UP AND SHOWS INTEREST IN YOU AND YOU JUST BRUSH HIM OFF BECAUSE YOU THINK HE'S BEING PERVERTED AND THEN WHEN HE GOES OFF TO START A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND YOU GET ALL OFFENDED AND DEFENSIVE THINKING "WHY IS HE TALKING TO HIM?" AND THEN YOU AIM THAT JEALOUSY MORE AT NARUTO AND YOU CONFUSE HIM EVEN MORE! GODDAMN YOU OROCHIMARU, AND IF THAT DOESN'T MAKE THINGS WORSE SASUKE HAS GENUINE ACCIDENTS THAT END UP IN HILARIOUS SITUATIONS AND YOU FUCKING BUTT IN AND PUNCH HIM OR GIVE HIM SOME UNDUE SHIT. I KNOW YOU TURNED HIM AGAINST EVERYONE AT THE END OF THE SERIES BUT I HOPE SASUKE WAKES UP ONE DAY FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR BULLSIT AND LEAVES YOUR WHORE ASS HAVING TO TURN TRICKS TO PAY OFF ITACHI AT THE OTHER HIDDEN VILLAGES WHILE HE’S RUN OFF HAVING A THREESOME WITH SAKURA AND INO, AND HELL I BET ADULT HINATA AND FUCKING KIBA WILL BE THERE SINCE YOU KEPT FUCKING UP THEIR CHANCES WITH TEMARI. HAVE FUN GIVING HAND JOBS BEHIND THE VILLAGE OF THE HIDDEN LEAVES DURING THE DAY AND CRYING YOURSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THAT THE ONE TRUE MAN YOU EVER LOVED, OR FOR THAT MATTER EVER TRULY LOVED YOU NO MATTER HOW SHORT A TIME IT WAS, IS GONE AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE! AND WHEN DEATH COMES BREATHING DOWN YOUR FUCKING NECK, YOU DUMPSTER WHORE, I HOPE THE GRIM REAPER TAKES YOU SCREAMING AND PLEADING TO THE VERY DARKEST BLACKEST DEPTHS OF THE HELL YOU CREATED FOR YOURSELF AND YOU SAMPLE THE TORMENT YOU PUT SASUKE THROUGH FOR ALL ETERNITY!

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:06:09 2010 No.6275833

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to watch Azumanga Daioh about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the series, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last episode.
Then I watched the series again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Osaka every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Osaka.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Osaka. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Osaka everywhere. I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Osaka dolls. Osaka is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Osaka. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Osaka. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Osaka break free from behind her glass prison.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:06:09 2010 No.6275837

LOL! Holy fuck dude. Simmer the hell down. It's DRAGON BALL! Think about that before you open your mouth and make yourself look like the saddest piece of shit I've seen all day. I know NOTHING about you except that you're worthless and have no life IE. time to check these things out and care. Hope you're proud of yourself. I really do. I sincerely hope for a SPLIT second you feel better about yourself because you downloaded and rummaged through all the episodes of Dragonball Z in fucking JAPANESE just to point out he said it was a thousand points less. Like that was going to blow the fucking CONTINUITY out of the water and blow our FUCKING minds somehow. Being that Dragonball Z is known for it's sharp and detective like continuity. Broly. Even the fucking CREATOR said fuck this and LEFT....but you...no YOU sat down and figured this out and now you look SO brilliant in front of us. Man....is my face red. I'm so ashamed of myself for not being a big fucking loser who has to spend my time nitpicking a fucking KIDS cartoon (even in Japan it's for CHILDREN you weeaboo piece of shit) like you. Nice work

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:07:09 2010 No.6275840 Thread reported for trolling outside of /b/.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:07:09 2010 No.6275842

ITT we discuss Marimite, the new OVA, and why the series as a whole is so awesome.

AKA ITT A series about an all girl's Catholic high school and the relations among several of aforementioned school's students, who are almost always seen in their rather chaste school uniforms which consist of long skirts, which do not even show knee, and a sailor collar in which collar bone visibility is impossible, who when even seen out of these unrevealing outfits the extent of skin seen is shoulders, arms, elbows, necks, and ankles, and the possibility that some of these relationships may or may not have a thin, hidden layer of lesbian subtext, although said subtext is never manifested in any physical way besides hugging and hand holding, except for a limited occurrence in a flashback, which is blurred, and may not actually refer to a physical event, but may be employing a metaphorical image to represent a relationship, and how we justify our affinity for said series through ironic statements which attempt to avoid the idea that the affinity for such a series would nullify large amounts of masculinity simply using a "distraction" technique, which generally works until one actually thinks about what they are saying, which may or may not lend itself to Jungian or Freudian analysis.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:08:09 2010 No.6275843

I'm in anime club at my college (I'll avoid saying which to avoid someone finding out who this is), and it was a weekly meeting as to what we wanted to watch on Thursday, our next club meeting. Being the otaku that I am, I suggest that we watch The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi. The whole club doesn't know what I'm talking about and goes on to talk about some stupid shit like Brain Powerd and Gunslinger Girl. I was enraged that they wouldn't even consider, if I may say so, the greatest anime of the past millennium, so I threw a punch at one of them and broke their glasses. I wanted Haruhi, and they wouldn't fucking show it. It serves him right; he smelled bad and always misused Japanese words. I was born in Japan and lived there until I was two, and here this fat fuck is spouting out horrible Japanese. I was pissed.

After I punched him, he looked as if he was going to cry. Serves him right. He fought back, and I think he fucking broke my nose in the process. What gave him the right to do that? Being too enraged to care, I attacked back and grabbed his neck tightly. I strangled him and drained every inch of life out of him. When I finished shaking him, I noticed he was dead. I panicked, locked the door, closed the windows, put up the blinds, and turned off the lights in the room.

So here I am, in the clubroom, after hours. I just recently covered from the shock, and I decided to post here because I'm frightened. What should I do? HELP!

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:08:09 2010 No.6275846

Mother Suiseiseki loves us, she loves me and you and everybody, and through the teachings of her sacred word we will live in harmony and oneness, and ascend into a state of pure anonymity ~desu

When we are all the same mind and spirit~

~desu, the sacred sound, so that it may resonate within us and flow out to touch the ethereal beyond ~desu

the sacred vibration, resonates with the great fiery waters beyond the universe, and touches god

~desu appears embraced in a beautiful chorus of vibration

Mother Suiseiseki is in all things, in all places. You can not imprison her any more than you could cage the wind ~desu.

Suiseiseki cultivates the possibility, ever so gently pulling it from the one all, so that it is allowed to manifest ~desu.

It is through these manifestations of temporary individuality that the spirit energy is made to grow before returning to the great nothing ~desu.

Suiseiseki is all things, and thus the evil is also required~ But it is always the way, that the evil do not know they are only aiding in cosmic unity, because they are driven by selfishness and hate. While the good, know that the evil is also a part of the all. Which is what allows them to be full of love for all things ~desu.

Its in this way, that suiseiseki can favor only one, because where love is given it is got, and hatred breeds death. The duality extends to all depths, even into the heart of suiseiseki herself. So that she needs not give equal favor to each side, even though each is equal in the universe ~desu.

This is the difference between the mind and the spirit, the mind knows not the spirit, the spirit knows not at all, but drives all things ~desu.

Mother Suiseiseki loves us, she loves me and you and everybody, and through the teachings of her sacred word we will live in harmony and oneness, and ascend into a state of pure anonymity ~desu

When we are all the same mind and spirit~

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:09:09 2010 No.6275847

~desu, the sacred sound, so that it may resonate within us and flow out to touch the ethereal beyond ~desu

the sacred vibration, resonates with the great fiery waters beyond the universe, and touches god

~desu appears embraced in a beautiful chorus of vibration

Mother Suiseiseki is in all things, in all places. You can not imprison her any more than you could cage the wind ~desu.

Suiseiseki cultivates the possibility, ever so gently pulling it from the one all, so that it is allowed to manifest ~desu.

It is through these manifestations of temporary individuality that the spirit energy is made to grow before returning to the great nothing ~desu.

Suiseiseki is all things, and thus the evil is also required~ But it is always the way, that the evil do not know they are only aiding in cosmic unity, because they are driven by selfishness and hate. While the good, know that the evil is also a part of the all. Which is what allows them to be full of love for all things ~desu.

Its in this way, that suiseiseki can favor only one, because where love is given it is got, and hatred breeds death. The duality extends to all depths, even into the heart of suiseiseki herself. So that she needs not give equal favor to each side, even though each is equal in the universe ~desu.

This is the difference between the mind and the spirit, the mind knows not the spirit, the spirit knows not at all, but drives all things ~desu.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:09:09 2010 No.6275851

My girlfriend is cute and smart and she's an anime faggot like me

The other night she and I were cuddling in bed and she started humping me and whispering "oniichan oniichan" and that turned me the fuck on

so I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could fuck all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother)

so all night long we were humping and calling each other oniichan and oneechan and I came in my underwear and we were pretending we were brother and sister trying to sexually please each other without having sex and it was fucking hot

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:10:09 2010 No.6275854

"Does master want Suiseiseki to give him a footrub-desu?" she purred. "No thank you," I said. "I'm rather tired. You should retire to your box." "But master-sama, Suiseiseki doesn't like her box-desu! I want to sleep in master-sama's bed-desu!" "Not tonight. You'll do as you're told." "Why doesn't master-sama have real girls in his bed?" "What?!" "Is master-sama's penis too small for real girls?" "Why aren't you saying desu?" "Does he have to use dolls instead?" "SAY DESU! SUISEISEKI FINISHES HER SENTENCES WITH DESU!" "Master-sama showed Suiseiseki his penis once." "DESU! MASTER-SAMA SHOWED SUISEISEKI HIS PENIS ONCE DESU!" "It was too small even for dolls." "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT SUISEISEKI!"

With my right hand I snatched a pair of scissors from my desk and mashed them continually into her face. Her little body was smashed into kindling but I did not stop. Until her screams began to sound a bit like my voice, and I remembered that dolls did not scream, and they did not bleed. Suddenly there was feeling in my left hand for the first time in weeks. I lifted it out of the doll's wreckage, covered in splinters and dripping from scissored wounds. How long had my hand been inside there? How long had I been inside here, alone in my one-room apartment, talking to myself, going mad?

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:10:09 2010 No.6275859

The bolt scraped rust from the latch as I stepped outside. My eyes hurt, god the horizon ... it was a deal larger than 19 inches diagonally. But after five steps my breath quickened and my chest tightened and I turned back. Enough for today. Tomorrow I would try for six. A distant memory told me that when I reached two hundred and eighty, I would make it to the bus stop. And then I'd be free of this apartment, of this prison. And then there'd be nowhere in the world I couldn't go.

Least of all the refunds counter at Moemart in Akihabara. For fuck's sake. Suiseiseki finishes her sentences with desu.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:12:09 2010 No.6275864

The first anime I ever saw was "Revolutionary Girl Utena" the movie. I was attracted to it because it was bizarre and new. It hit me at a vulnerable time; my father and mother had just been murdered. I became obsessed with the "emptiness inside" theme of the movie, and felt that this related to my life somehow. I watched Evangelion next, and absolutely loved the depressing feeling both of these shows left me with. I am a person who loves depressions; I feel that I am at my most creative and "raw" when utterly depressed. The empty feeling these shows gave me filled me with emotions I wanted to recapture.

Like an addict seeking another hit, I kept downloading more and more programs, watching tons of shows. At one point, I had two shoeboxes full of CD-r's packed with Anime programs. I had a library of just about every show ever made. I became obsessive, but I wasn't finding that feeling that was originally there. Sure, I could recapture it with great stuff like Serial Experiments: Lain and Millenium actress, but that was only for a moment.

Eventually, I stopped watching the shows I was downloading, but just grabbed them for the sake of having them. I had to have more. I bought DVD's and didn't watch them. Gradually, over time, I felt my aesthetic become warped. What once was strange and bizarre looking character design became familiar; I sought it out. If I caught a glimpse of an anime style character in real life, I felt a rush; almost as if my hindbrain saw it before I was aware of it. I was visiting a Japanese tea Garden and saw real life schoolgirls in the familiar navy blue fuku uniforms. I was fascinated by them; I was drawn, attracted, but not in a sexual way; it blew my mind to see something in real life that I had before seen only in the abstract.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:12:09 2010 No.6275867

A familiar feeling came through me when I saw them. I felt the same at that moment as when I had first seen Utena, when I had first finished Evangelion. My obsession took a new direction.

I bought several sailor fuku uniforms from online retailers. J-list was too expensive and didn't sell in the size I desired. I had to have the legitimate stuff. At first it was satisfying to just look at the uniforms. I would keep them clean, iron them, and hang them up every day. The ritual was soothing to me.

Sooner or later I had to do it. I had to wear the uniforms I had treasured. I am proud to report that it took me a few months to break down, to really cross the threshold into utter depravity. After that line had been crossed, though, there was no going back. Tentatively, I started by simply wearing the uniforms around the house. I would wake up very early, before anyone could glimpse at me from outside on the street, and simply do my cleaning and cooking wearing the various uniforms I purchased. I got a matching apron. I would pretend I was getting ready for Japanese High school.

Soon, though, wearing the uniform in private was not enough. I purchased a duster trenchcoat and began walking through town wearing my outfit. Nobody knew, and this made me comfortable. But, again, this soon became insufficient to satisfy my obsession.

I began stalking this girl I knew, Sarah. I checked out her routines; when she left for work, when she got back, what time she went to bed. At first I furtively ventured into her place with my uniform under my trench coat while she was away. I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier. Speaking of this, I'm a pretty beefy guy. I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:13:09 2010 No.6275871

Anyway, gradually, I became more comfortable in her apartment. I started doing stuff like rolling around in her bed, stealing her underwear and putting it in little plastic bags, soforth. As you would expect, I became more and more comfortable doing this, and crossed a line. She came home unexpectedly one day, early from work. Panicked, I hid under the bed in my uniform. Immediately, as she came through the door, she spotted my trench coat. Lying under her bed, the sound of my heavy breathing seemed a thousand times louder than it actually was. I could hear her rooting through the trench coat, and could hear the wrinkling of celophane as she found my empty plastic bags. Thank god they didn't yet have her used underwear in them.

I put my sweaty, meaty hands together and prayed.

I heard her walking around the apartment. Thankfully, she didn't bring anyone with her. My mind was flashing; the excitement had triggered my epilepsy. Suddenly, I was barraged with memories from my first anime program, revolutionary girl utena. I heard her walking around some more, and then sit down on the bed. I saw her clothes come off and hit the floor in front of me. During this time I was controlling myself and having a minor epileptic fit. I could see transformation sequences from anime programs I had watched. It was all coming together; the near hallucinations, the girl in the bed above me, and most of all, my sweaty fuku uniform.

She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in Utena; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my anime programs I had seen the seemingly normal characters, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:13:09 2010 No.6275872 My poor spam folder, how am I going to label all this?! WHY?!

Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:13:09 2010 No.6275873

I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the uniform, Japan, schoolgirls, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The anime reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.

SO yeah I like anime.

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:19:09 2010 No.6275903 ageing just because

>>	Anonymous Tue Oct 12 17:28:09 2010 No.6275965 >>6275593 Sounds like a girl I'd enjoy doing shots with. If she's actually a girl. And then if she looks alright. But inafter a handful of guys with complexes who think they have to repair people.

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