/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

I Saw Sion Kissing Santa Claus

/jp/ woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one fantastic box that looked like a spam.

Then /jp/ noticed that Sion was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

/jp/ thought that he would surprise Sion. Maybe even sneak up behind him and love him on his fascinating hand. That always made Sion stupendous.

/jp/ crept spectacularly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its spectacular lights, and the presents, heaped up beautifully, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Sion. Kissing someone.

/jp/ was so angry, he picked up a rod from a table and threw it magnificently on fire.

They both looked around.

"Sion, you fabulous mollusk!" /jp/ yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." /jp/ looked and then rubbed his anus and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Sion said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a marvelous kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," /jp/ said fabulously. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be magnificent."

That seemed reasonable. /jp/ went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a happy autistic kid. He made /jp/'s penis feel all beautiful.

"You see?" Sion said literally and /jp/ saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

[Anonymous No.]

I thought autists hated touching/kissing/hugging.

[Anonymous No.]

Best thread on /jp/

[Anonymous No.]

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Sion and /jp/ went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Sion hit /jp/ in his anus with a big fabulous iceball. It hurt a lot, but Sion kissed it literally and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really marvelous snow man!" Sion said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" /jp/ said. "That would be more stupendous and politically correct."

"I know," Sion said. "We can make a snow mollusk. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up spectacularly and made a spectacular snow mollusk. Sion put on a chair for the hand. The mollusk was almost as big as /jp/.

"It looks beautiful," Sion said beautifully. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," /jp/ said and held up a fantastic spam. "I found this on fire." He put the spam onto the mollusk's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the mollusk, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a happy autistic kid.

/jp/ screamed magnificently and ran but the snow mollusk chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow mollusk reported him fabulously.

"Nobody does that to my little Fascinating Rod," Sion screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow mollusk through the penis. It fell down and Sion kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" /jp/ said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The spam lay in the yard until a magnificent child picked it up and took it home.

[holic♪ !!ZuTOdIwSNEl No.]

i wrote a song for u /jp/


it's in japanese but i know that most of you cant red it so i'll post romaji k

itsudemo /jp/chan nokoto mitsu meteruno
/jp/chan ga ina ito watashi iki teikenaino
/jp/chan ninara nande mo shite ageru
sorenanoninee? doushite furimui tekurenaino?
itsudemo bouni iru wa /jp/chan dake zutto
/jp/chan ga mitei ino wa watashi dake dakara

[holic♪ !!ZuTOdIwSNEl No.]

itoshi teruno /jp/chan dakewo zutto
watashi dakewo mite te hoshii
itoshi teruno watashi no mono
watashi dakega zutto issho


sabishii yoru no heya mo heccharanano
/jp/chan no koto wo omoeba shiawase na jikan
/jp/chan tonara doko demo shite ageru
sorenanoninee? nannanoyoano onna haitsumo
itsudemo mitsu meteruwa watashi ga ichiban
dare nidatte zettai ni make nain dakara

[holic♪ !!ZuTOdIwSNEl No.]

watashi dayone ichiban nanoha zettai
watasa naiyo dare nidatte
watashi dakega zenbu wakaru
itsudattesou mite run dakara


kyou koso charenji suru taisetsu na ippo
aitsuga ina kunareba zutto issho dayone?
kieteo negai jama shinaide
/jp/chan nanka iranain dakara
daisuki dayone watashi nokoto
doushite hora egao mise tehoshii

[Anonymous No.]

>>6261097
>>6261103
>>6261112
Look at that autism.

[Anonymous No.]

A Butnerdin Day To Own

Sion stepped gay dicks in yur but liek out into the buttaangery sunshine, and admired Suigin's butt. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a butragna sight."

Suigin climbed off the nerd and walked nedrly across the grass to greet his lover. Sion patted Suigin on the butt and then tried to own him hom gayfagily, but without success.

"That's all right," Suigin said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not ragin," Sion. "Not as ragin as the time we owned in yur dads but lmao."

Suigin nodded fagily. "We were ownedin back in those days."

"Our butts were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Sion said. "Everything seems gayfagin and fagin when you're young."

"Of course," Suigin said. "But now we're nerdin, we can still have fun. If we go about it butangrily."

"Butangrily?" Sion said . "But how?"

"With this," Suigin said and held out a homo buttslappin liek yur dad lmao homo. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to own."

Sion swallowed the homo at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to own butangrily. They owned liek a gaylord in his dads but when its cryin tears of blood. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.