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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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623940 No.623940 [Reply] [Original]

ITT: We change Touhou history

Instead of becoming immortal after drinking the Hourai Elixir, Kaguya turns out to be allergic to it and dies a slow and painful death.

Eirin is found guilty of poisoning the princess and sentenced to life in prison.

>> No.623979

Reisen stays in the moon and gets killed

>> No.624023

Reimu is aborted and everyone lives happily ever after as peace reigns in gensokyo.

>> No.624031

Anyone got OP pic in a higher res?

>> No.624032
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624032

Shinki doesn't die and Alice becomes the pimp of Gensokyo.

>> No.624045

>>624023

Except then the barrier collapses and Gensokyo gets nuked, so everyone dies.

>> No.624048

>>624045
Oh... right...

>> No.624060
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624060

>>624023
We don't even know who Reimu's mother was.

>> No.624065

>>624060
I think we do now.

>> No.624071

>>624045

Someone else will make another border

>> No.624082
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624082

>>624071
Dragonforce will create the border.

>> No.624092

Yukari uses her power to banish the Devourer Tree for the sake of her bestest human friend in the whole world.
Youmu never exists.

>> No.624103

>>624092
You don't feel any better.
BAD END

>> No.624104

>>624082

But it'll be full of awful live performances then.

>> No.624119
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624119

>>624104
TOU HOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOUHOU!

>> No.624129
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624129

Alice is happy.

>> No.624122

Marisa stays with her father at the shop

>> No.624144
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624144

>>624129
Alice is God.

>> No.624147

Reimu returns Remilia's affections and has vampire loli miko sex.

>> No.624153
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624153

>>624144
I'd worship her, if you know what I mean heh heh heh...

>> No.624155

Rinnosuke is born without a penis.

>> No.624156

>>624147

There never was any affection, just friends

>> No.624162

>>624156
Yeah sure, just like Fate and Nanoha, right?

>> No.624169

>>624103
Okay, a better one?
Yukari summons a tiny succubus to be Ran's shinigami, while Patchouli chooses a nekomata to be her librarian's assistant.
Is that any better?

>> No.624170

Rinnosuke finds a game from the outside world called "Imperishable Night."

>> No.624171
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624171

>>624164
delicious idea.

>> No.624164

Tei is killed by hunters long before she becomes a Youkai, Reisen's life is much simpler.

>> No.624177
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624177

>>624169
Approved.

>> No.624178
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624178

Suika takes over as Hakurei's official shrine maiden, and the donation starts rolling in.

>> No.624182

>>624162
Er, if you wanna go by canon materials? No, there was no affection. She was happy for a new friend

If you wanna go by fanon? Well Remi-Reimu is far from even being top 10 pairing

>> No.624185

>>624178
Hooray!

>> No.624187

Marisa decides to use her immense magical power to travel back in time in order to hook up with the one person she loves the most, herself. However, she ended up going back TOO far, and so she decided to make a house in the Forest of Magic and make dolls in her spare time...

>> No.624188

Marisa makes a clone of herself and has clone sex.

>> No.624190

>>624182
Ok fine, they are just friends with benefits.

>> No.624192

>>624187
MY OWN CLONE,
NOW I HAVE TO BE A VIRGIN ;_;

>> No.624204

>>624182
I don't think it goes as far as love, but EoSD Ending 2 or whatever ending Reimu B has...it shows Remi being a little too affectionate with Reimu.

>> No.624205

>>624178
Isn't that just saying "I wish Haniwa's store Miko Miko Suika's two volumes+the short bit in Unparalled Inebriation were canon"?
Besides, Suika's mostly a better miko than Reimu because she hasn't had the time to become unde-jaded and bitter.

>> No.624210

Reimu goes back in time and aborts herself.

BECAUSE SHE NEVER ASKED FOR THIS POWER.

>> No.624214

Yukari successfully conquers the moon killing everyone

>> No.624218

>>624204

you're just too ronery

same reason /v/ thinks even a handshake between two guys means hard gay

>> No.624223

Yukarin is Reimu, who was thrown into the distant past by Marisa's Final Spark at the Battle of Kyoto. She has spent a thousand years trying to atone for her crimes, waiting for the opportunity to teach her younger self that all life has meaning.

>> No.624237

Yakumo Yukari is a figment of Maribel Hearn's lucid dreams.

>> No.624240

>>624210

Alright, I lol'd.

>> No.624249

>>624237

Maribel Hearn is a figment of Yukari's lucid dreams

>> No.624252
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624252

>>624218
>too ronery

I can't deny that. But even the most stupid reason can create all kinds of pairing in touhou.

>> No.624257

>>624252

Don't forget the ones that have no basis what-so-ever!

I mean, where does the Reimu and Yuka pairing even come from?

>> No.624266

>>624257

Well they went to Makai together and killed Shinki

>> No.624271

>>624266

But Shinki killed herself because she has no self-control, so yeah!

>> No.624274

>>624271

What a stupid whore! No wonder her daughter has no friends

>> No.624280

>>624249

What if /touhou/, what if Maribel and Yukari met in Gensokyo? would one fall asleep while the other is awake? Would either one of them dissipate at the sight of another? The only thing that can be confirmed is Yukari's last name and the origin of Maribel Hearn's name.

>> No.624290

>>624280

One of them would disappear in a puff of logic. BUT WHICH ONE

>> No.624298

>>624290
>>624280

This scenario requires Gensokyo to exist

Therefore Yukari is the real one

>> No.624311

>>624298

But if we factor in that one game where Gensokyo is in Reimu's head, then the real world must be the one to exist, so Maribel is the real one.

>> No.624321

When meeting, instead of fighting, Reimu and Sanae had lesbian miko sex while Mima filmed it, with Kanako, Suika, Marisa and Suwako guzzling sake and watching.

>> No.624331

>>624321
This.

>> No.624336

>>624311

But we don't. Because that game was bad. And it's one game against MILLIONS OF OTHER GAMES, MILLIONS

>> No.624338

>>624311

I'm sorry, which game was it?

>> No.624354

>>624338

Concealed the Conclusion

google it

>> No.624358 [SPOILER] 
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624358

>Reimu's head
>Reimu
>Head
>DELICIOUS CANDY

>> No.624365

>>624358

YOU SON OF A BITCH

I HAD JUST FORGOTTEN THAT IMAGE

FUCK OFF AND DIE

>> No.624384

>>624358

At first I'm like....oh she's sucking the...then

OH WAIT A MINUTE WTF

>> No.624399

>>624358

Oh, god. I laughed.

>> No.624408

>>624358
My computer's really slow.

It's half loaded. If you close it now, you can leave without ever knowing what the rest of this picture is like. If you close it now.
If you close it now. If you close it now. If you close it now. If you close it now. If you close it now. If you close it now. If you close it now. If you--

OH F--

>> No.624409

>>624358

TAKE IT EASY.

>> No.624412

>>624358

Seen worse.

>> No.624485

Remilia never locked Flandre away.

Now, Remilia and Flandre have a close relationship, filled with an abundance of moebeetus inducing cuteness.

>> No.624515

>>624485

and they would be living in a tent since rebuilding the mansion everyday is too much work

>> No.624536

>>624515

Then there would be no need for Sakuya, China, Patchy, and all the servants who live there.

>> No.624555

>>624515

Why would they need to rebuild the mansion?

>> No.624559

GENSOKYO WAS REALLY EARTH ALL ALONG!

>> No.624562

>>624559

IT ALREADY IS EARTH YOU FUCKING RETARD

>> No.624571

>>624562
GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!

>> No.624573

>>624571
HE CAN TALK!

>> No.624576

>>624536
nah they all be living in tents

>>624555
because let flandre roaming free is bad for the environment?

>> No.624580

>>624573
DR ZAEUS DR ZAEUS
DR ZAEUS DR ZAEUS
DR ZAEUS DR ZAEUS
OH OH OH DR ZAEUS

>> No.624592

>>624580
Can I play the piano anymore?
Of course you can!
Well I couldn't before!

>> No.624593

>>624576

Let alone Flandre, Remilia and patchy are allergic to vitamin D.

>> No.624599

>>624576

What's stopping her from roaming free now? Or destroying the mansion?

If she's happy and content in a good relationship with her sister, what reason would she have to be randomly destroying stuff?

>> No.624611

>>Vitamin D

Fuck, unexpected boner.

>> No.624672

>>624599

because it's the way she is.

did you have no childhood at all? kids are cruel even when playing nice

>> No.624680
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624680

>>624611

>> No.624934

Gensokyo was never created.

>> No.624982
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624982

>>624934
Doesn't sound too bad. I'd do everything I can to work in her company.

>> No.625014

>>624982

Fuck yeah, I'd work for Border Inc. I hear the wages suck, though.

>> No.625037

>>625014
Better than Eien Corp. I heard employees there get turnd into BOWs.

>> No.626230

Yukari wakes up on her bed, believing whatever she wanted to believe, she took the blue pill... The rabbit hole was never explored, Gensokyo was just another day at the office desk.

another imaginative land created to a gaming market, there is no alternate dimension.

Just then, a BALD YUYUKO appears, she says

"Do you think that is air you are breathing?"

"Do you think that me being bald or wearing a silly costume has anything to do with me being a ghost?"

A moment of silence,

and the two engage in an epic wire-fu scene.

>> No.626569
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626569

All touhoes are the children of Yukari and Mannosuke.

>> No.626576
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626576

Alice's family isn't dead. She's on Candid Camera.

>> No.626589
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626589

Alice doesn't pursue Marisa, instead pimps everyone else.

She becomes the goddess of love and Shanghai shoots love danmaku.

>> No.626686

>>626230
>>BALD YUYUKO
bad end

>>
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