/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

ITT: Touhous /jp/ can beat in a fist fight

[Anonymous No.]

Pretty sure I could take Akyu

[Anonymous No.]

Akyuu.

[(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ BOOF ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) !AWEsomEEEE!!ejJ3Bfnrypk No.]

You will never hear the sound of a touhous jawbone shatter as it comes in contact with your fist

;_;

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109022
Nitori as long as she is out of the water, I would bust the bald spot off that lying anal ripping bitch.

[Anonymous No.]

noo my dangly wrists are too delicate, kyaa~...

[Anonymous No.]

Patchy. Assuming there's no magic allowed, she would go down quite easily

[Fujiwara no Mokou !!WMmFy7x/tgp No.]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsurube-otoshi

You really think you can take on Kisume? Don't make me laugh.

>sometimes it is some sort of oni or tengu

You hear that? Kisume could be the Third Deva of the Mountain for all you know, and encased her body to seal her strength. You know that the rest of the oni are supposed to be underground, after all.

Also, apparently Kisume is the only tsurube-otoshi in popular culture! Yay, some attention for once!

[Anonymous No.]

You disappoint me, /jp/, you bunch of barbarians. Clearly, wrestling the the fight to be fought against touhous.

[(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ BOOF ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) !AWEsomEEEE!!ejJ3Bfnrypk No.]

>>6109053
Well I could kick her bucket-enclosed ass in a kickboxing match

[Anonymous No.]

None.

Because /jp/ is full of nerds that, I'm sure, have been bullied for being fags at school when they were younger (or still is).

Nice wishful thinking. Now, stop lying to yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

yuuka, I hate cheaters

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

akyuu

[Anonymous No.]

ALSO INB4 NERDS TRY TO REASSURE THEMSELVES WITH ANGRY POSTS

[Anonymous No.]

Who couldn't beat up a tiny Japanese girl?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109070
>>6109082
I'll kick your ass right after I'm done busting up Akyuu.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

I could beat up Akyuu.
I wouldn't, though. I'm nice and so is she.

[Anonymous No.]

Wiggle, who is completely defenseless without her bugs, you should tear off her antennae to wreck her sensory skills so she can't escape the ass beating.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109088

say dat to my face fukr n see wat happns.jpg

>>6109091

/jp/ nerds.

[Anonymous No.]

Crush the Satoris. With your Mind.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109121

Which you can't do because she can fly, probably summon a shitstorm of bugs--and you can't do shit but stand there defenseless albeit acting like tough shit but that's just a facade.

[Anonymous No.]

we should bring touhous to our world and hunt them

[Anonymous No.]

I roll mad deep with fiddy and my crew of GORRIRUHUNITZ. BOUDA FUK SOAMBOADEE AWP YAHFEELINKNOEWATIMSAYINIGGA?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109135
Hunting youkai deep in the forests of Aokigahara would be a great tourist activity.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109126
>implying lonely nerds have overcomplicated minds that can destroy 'The girl even the spirits fear' or whatever

Over-erotic thoughts, as you smartasses are probably going to find 'funny' as a response, aren't going to do shit either.

Get the fuck out of here.

[Fujiwara no Mokou !!WMmFy7x/tgp No.]

>>6109067
>>6109101
Probably not. See this? No matter how thick your muscles and penis are, BOOFy, chances are that you haven't exercised your head much. Did you know that hundreds and thousands of people die each year by being struck in the head by falling fruits from trees? Think how badly a falling loli-in-a-bucket would break you, unless you actually got adamantium skull or were cheating by wearing a helmit.

Even without her oni-like strength, Kisume can use gravity to kill you.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

you guys forget that youkai are naturally physically stronger than humans right?
except for patchy all of them could split you in half with a half assed karate chop

[Anonymous No.]

would tewi's luck aura inadvertently help potential attackers?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109149
>penis

Really was that even necessary? OH RIGHT, because you nerds are so insecure, you have to mention your dick all the time to reassure your masculinity.

[(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ BOOF ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) !AWEsomEEEE!!ejJ3Bfnrypk No.]

>>6109156
No way man.

All that ovaltine I downed as a kid should have my bones as hard as fucking diamonds.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109161
She's a wise rabbit and thus all the fortune goes to her.

None to you. Have fun crying.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109156
Bah. I could totally take Nitori. Just knock off her cap and peel off her cunningly concealed skullcap to spill her skull-water and she'll be weak as a kitten.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109165
Calm down, anon. We're not actually beating up any Touhous.

[Anonymous No.]

I want to be raped by Nitori.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109170

And yet you are here, posting on /jp/ like a nerd.

Why don't you go out to be a professional kickboxer, young man?

Or post pics of these muscles like the tough guy you are.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109172
that's ok i think i would be down with tewi beating the crap out of me

[Fujiwara no Mokou !!WMmFy7x/tgp No.]

>>6109156
Youkai is just another term for supernatural beings in Touhou. There are all kinds. It's like saying whether you are stronger than an animal. Maybe yes, maybe no, it really depends on the type.

On average you are probably correct though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109189

Do it BOOF! Post a picture of your badass self!

[Anonymous No.]

ALL OF THEM, I AM THE STRONGEST

[Anonymous No.]

I'd stalk her, set up a trap, catch her and take her home, nurse her better and feign to be frightened by her attempts to frighten me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109189
>Or post pics of these muscles like the tough guy you are.

aniki?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109177

Just saying because this shit makes me sick.

You nerds always keep trying to reassure yourselves with the dumbest shit ever. It's not even acceptance anymore, it's all just excuses now.

And you wonder why you aren't socially acceptable.

[All day !jCOMomijIM No.]

I bet I could knock this fuck out of nobody

Not like I'd have to, no one fights with fists, only danmaku.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109199
And then reality kicks in and you realize this isn't some weeaboo animu and that you just trapped a monster that's about to tear the living shit out of you.

Smart.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6109192
youkai are youkai

celestials aren't youkai yet they are supernatural
ghosts aren't youkai either

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109156
PMiSS right? The thing that said that "all" youkai are unlimited stronger then a human? Well, apparently Kappa aren't youkai since "on dry land there is no big difference from the power of a human" and "their battle skills are also comparatively low, they seldom show themselves in front of humans". All in the kappa entry of the same book that says Wiggle, who isn't apparently a youkai either, is practically harmless without her bugs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109210

Which you won't be able to use because you're a regular human who's too lazy to do anything with his life and spends the rest of it by posting on imageboards.

[Anonymous No.]

Most of them, with a proper advantage. (sucker punch) Their muscles may be stronger but bone is bone and can be broken. Brains are brains and can be bruised.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109070
How did you know I was bullied in school?

Also, Tenu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109224
>nerd trying to reassure himself

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6109224
just like how sharks aren't faster than humans in land yet they are in water?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109231
You can't compete against youkai in terms of physical combat, anon. you would break your hand.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109170
Diamonds are brittle and shatter with strong impacts.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109216
She isn't like that. She just wants to scare people, that is all.

[Anonymous No.]

Yuugi

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109241
You'll break your hand hitting a normal person that hard. It'll still hurt them. It'll still hurt the youkai brains.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109231

...but you're a nerd. I doubt you can land a blow on any of them.

Also, I'm sure they can regenerate pretty fast.

Anyway, have fun pretending you're tough shit., little nerd

>>6109235

Because you're posting on /jp/. You try to make up for the fact that you were bullied in school by then bullying people on the internet.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I could beat yukari using aikido but still in a fistfight as in boxing she'd make cheddar cheese out of me

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109245

Yet I'm sure she can still kick your ass in a fist-fight, you pansy-ass nerd. Quit trying to reassure yourself "she's just trying to scare people I can finally fantasize about my dream wife durr hurr."

and then nothing happens for the rest of your life

[Anonymous No.]

*posts image of ogre*
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDS

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109264

She can just manipulate your skill in aikido and thus you will lose anyway.

Also, lol @ weeaboo mentioning knowing aikido.

[(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ BOOF ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) !AWEsomEEEE!!ejJ3Bfnrypk No.]

>>6109264
but she wud jus gap ur fists into ur face

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109282
Suigin would just use akido to redirect her manipulation of skills. Don't underestimate Suigin.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109282
I'm afraid you don't understand how aikido works. The only thing her manipulation could accomplish would be removing her own skills.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109312

I still will because he is a nerd, a tripfag, and is posting on /jp/ to amplify that nerdiness.

Also, ITT: nerds reassuring themselves that they aren't losers.

[Anonymous !yflOPYrGcY No.]

I am not a nerd >:)

[Anonymous No.]

I'm to busy being a complete faggot to be a nerd.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Feeling lucky, /jp/?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109224
Well then, I guess I'll have to fish out that anal raping whore with cucumbers before I stomp on her bald spot.

[Fujiwara no Mokou !!WMmFy7x/tgp No.]

>>6109256
Whoa, is the inverse true? Did I used to get bullied on /jp/ because I didn't get bullied in school, and was actually admired by many?

I'm not even sure if the average /jp/er could beat up yukkuri.

[Anonymous No.]

I know a guy who beat up a bear by himself during a survival camping trip.

He doesn't post on /jp/ because he's too busy not being a nerd and pretending he knows how to use aikido. True story.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109342
You didn't get bullied in school but you sure as hell didn't learn shit.

Your logic is equal to that of a special needs autistic student.

OH WAIT, I FORGOT I'M ON /jp.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109342
you always manage to fascinate me with your shitposts.

[Anonymous !yflOPYrGcY No.]

I am not a nerd, I work out 3 times a week with ufc trainers and fighters, I can also play the guitar better than any of you dream.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109339
Hell yeah, I have the ultimate anti-oni weapons on, so after I kill the drunk bitch I'll place her dismembered horn on my mantle.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109359
>in my imaginary animu world

Seriously, then, why are you here posting on /jp/, you fucking nerd? Quit lying to yourself and realize you're a failure.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109362
It's a fist fight. Don't bend the rules now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109369
You started of as an OK troll, but now you've just become obvious and unfunny. You can leave now if you want.

[Anonymous !yflOPYrGcY No.]

>>6109369
Haha your jealous!

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109369
o4l i literaly applouded

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109378
Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings?

Honestly, I'm not even trolling. I just want you idiots to realize you're faggots. Quit fucking hiding the truth and going SLUT DICKS SLUTS because really, you're not fooling anyone, you lonely piece of shit.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6109325
I believe you shouldn't call me a nerd
I have practiced Aikido for many years
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109383
Damn, that guy is white as hell.

Surely, he has never seen the sun before.

Of course not, he's on /jp/ crying about his feelings getting hurt.

Again, as always, you fags are trying to laugh to hide the tears.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109390
THOSG FUCLKING NERRDS WILL ACEPT THERE FAITS!!!

[A Certain Magical !HOMOfybeOY No.]

Touhous are too light to use Aikido on.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109392

nobody cares

you're still a nerd that keeps trying to reassure himself and this post just amplified that

[Anonymous No.]

waht thef fuke is is gooing ons

[Anonymous !yflOPYrGcY No.]

>>6109394
Surely you wouldn't say that to my face.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109399
LOOK AT ALL THIS DELICIOUS IRONY!

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6109408
Believe it or not, I wasn't always a handsome stud. I used to an anti-social loser like you, until I started Aikido more than a year ago.

In Aikido, you need to communicate to your partner to be successful, my partner was a very talkative person, I couldn't help but open up to him. He's now my best friend, and through him, I lost my old ways and became a man.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109414
>I lost my old ways and became a man.
who posts on FUCKING /jp/.

>>6109411

The face only a mother could love.

This is why you fap to animu porn.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6109425
I decided to take a stroll in the park today in my Aikido suit as I like to call it, the weather was great. I found myself a great spot for doing Aikido techniques, as I train, a beautiful woman came up to me and tapped my shoulder. I was so immersed in training that I mistaken her as a threat and grabbed her arm, tossing her to the ground. I quickly realized my mistake and apologized, she accepted the sincere apology of mine.

Afterwards she asked me what I was doing, I explained to her that I was practicing the ancient and mighty Japanese art of Aikido, she gave me her phone number, wanting to discuss more of Aikido.

An obvious excuse to meetup once again to have sex because I already told her everything about Aikido.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109425
I don't know, that guy could be quite dashing if not for the pronounced effort to look like a retard. No acne, and good facial symmetry.

Get rid of the beard and some of those prodigious eyebrows, and he'd be passable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109433

cool story bro

now pics or it didn't happen

[Fujiwara no Mokou !!WMmFy7x/tgp No.]

>>6109390
If you aren't here to talk about Touhou in this thread, then I must politely ask you to leave, please. Insecurity about masculinity? It seems you really don't even know the slightest bit about /jp/ culture. We are all lonely Polish lesbian girls who love our passion! We're here, we're queer, deal with it!

Back on topic, chances are that only the human characters like Maribel and Renko are on par with normal people. However, witnessing how quickly Sanae adapted to Gensokyo and joined the EX main characters, coupled with suspicions about Maribel's true identity, and one can argue that challenging anyone in this fictional world is probably a poor idea, lest one is looking for a painful death (or sex if you think this is an h-doujin scenerio).

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109443
Oh you, quit trying to flatter yourself.

[Anonymous !yflOPYrGcY No.]

>>6109425
Lets see your deformed fat ass face.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6109448
Back to /b/, please

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109449
>Insecurity about masculinity? It seems you really don't even know the slightest bit about /jp/ culture.

And that is why you are all losers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109456

"It doesn't take a chef to know the food is shit."

[Marisa Kirisame !MARiSADA4A!!1zao16xwdwl No.]

Probably Patchy. I'm not much of a fighter.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109463
We already know we are losers.
Everyone who posts on 4chan is automatically a faggot too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109458
>he thinks he is posting in a forum

[Anonymous !yflOPYrGcY No.]

>>6109469
I am a good cook thank you very much.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109390
I actually meant it. You were funny at first, and presented some decent, almost rational seeming arguments. Now, however, you've begun to resort to name calling, and using the same retorts over and over. I merely suggest you get some new material before you continue.

[Adolf Hitler loves !RUMIAxIXcU No.]

...

Yuugi. One sieg heil and she's down for the count.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6109477
You don't know how to enable BBCODE?
holy newfaggotry

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109494
haha suiging, your to easy too troll

btw this post is immune to metatrolling so owned gg no re

[Cirnoble !!0sZ0GzHSHMi No.]

Rinnosuke.

Because I don't hit girls.

Also wow I don't have a single Rinnosuke pic. I guess wriggle will have to do.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109494
>post count

I can't fucking believe you care about that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109456

Also, nice niggerlips, bro. You look kind of like a fish. It's also like I can smell you through my computer screen.

Maybe this is concept art FOR THE GEN V POKIEMENS?!

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6109507
I use that script to see which trips are newfriends and which are just people with names changed/old trips I forgot about

[Necrobrotent No.]

There is no touhou boxers.

The only time a person should limit themselves to fist in a fight is in boxing.

[Anonymous No.]

How do you enable the code and have the post count, etc?

[Anonymous No.]

Can /jp/ beat ZUN?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109539

nerds fighting nerds

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109539
This is a great idea, let's beat ZUN and force him to make whichever Touhous we want.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109539
>>6109545
Lol'd.

[Anonymous No.]

Was that really that funny?

[(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ BOOF ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) !AWEsomEEEE!!ejJ3Bfnrypk No.]

>>6109545
>force him to make whichever Touhous we want.
DICKS

DICKS EVERYWHERE

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109572

inb4 self-inserts or generic waifus

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109545
ends in gangbang

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109579
Ends in tea party, more like.

>>6109575
Maybe it's time for a new iteration of those "draw your own Touhou in MSPaint" threads.

[Anonymous No.]

Tiny video cameras are advertised everywhere.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109575
>generic waifus

Why would I create my waifu when she already exists? Self-inserts would be more likely, but I don't know if I could bring myself to doing that.
I'd probably just make a bunch of over-powered loli Touhous just to make things interesting.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109596

Wow! You're an aspiring fanfic writer!

Oh ho, self-inserts, how could I expect less from /jp/?

[Anonymous No.]

Wow, and here you were thinking that everyone in the world was going to be celibate just like you. The best present is giving of one's self.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109606
And then REJECTION.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109596
also
>waifu
>exists

hahaohwow.jpg

[Anonymous No.]

Never take rejection personally.

[Fujiwara no Mokou !!WMmFy7x/tgp No.]

>>6109539
>>6109545
>>6109572
>>6109575
>>6109579
>>6109587
That's silly, ZUN-sama is armed with the only power that even Suigin's aikido bows down to: the Power of God, aka Hoard of the Fandom. Not even the greatest aikido master can overcome a stampeding mob of hundreds of thousands of fat otaku charging forward without any regard for anything but their new limited edition loli Cirno h-doujin and figurine package. Some Alice cosplayers will probably take a dump on your face while you're being trampled. And ZUN can summon them without spending a single MP.

Ever hear of the worf effect? Is even the ancient martial art of aikido is defeated, what chances do you have?

[Anonymous No.]

That's silly, zun-sama is armed with the only power that even Suigin's aikido bows down to: the Power of God, aka Hoard of the Fandom.

[Anonymous No.]

A herd of touhous

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109621
>>6109605

I think you need to tone down the troll a little. You're a bit obvious.

>>6109634
I've always imagined ZUN as the supreme master of drunken fist.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109634
>Some Alice cosplayers will probably take a dump on your face while you're being trampled.
You will never, ;_; etc.

[Anonymous No.]

Never,; vsz etc Fascinating.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6109643
If he's that obvious, I think you should, you know, stop feeding him.

[Anonymous No.]

just punches? Marisa