/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]

Tripfag circlejerk thread, everyone's invited except for haters.

Even though its just going to be spammed, its worth a shot since I got rid of the other one.

[Anonymous No.]

Are you joking?

[DeДthwing !dickViMxAI No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Do you want to be wise? Learn Aikido
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is

[Anonymous No.]

Didn't this guy give out his address in another thread? Can't we complain to his superiors about his shitposting?

[Anonymous No.]

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Asakura released the knife and jumped five meters away. Opening up the distance in an instant, Asakura landed elegantly and continued smiling as usual. The Sussman raised his wand and pointed it directly at the ceiling, not taking his eyes off Asakura. The wand released a wave of glowing white parentheses and the space around The Sussman began to distort.

"It's time for some ENTERPRISE QUALITY!" Asakura cheerfully cried as she conjured the spirits of the JVM, producing a flood of boiling-hot coffee that rushed its way towards The Sussman, who stood motionless, parentheses continuing to issue from his wand like electromagnetic radiation.
"You think your turkey solutions can stop me?" The Sussman said calmly before lowering his wand, forming the pool of parentheses now gathered around him into a sharp pointed cone aimed at Asakura. Suddenly he shouted "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISP!" and the parentheses shot forward into the waves of coffee, pushing the boiling hot liquid back towards where it came.

"Nooooooo....." her cries became weaker as she became engulfed in the dark brown liquid. Everything turned black and I felt as though I had fainted. I awoke to a familiar voice.

"...before we do that for the next couple of lectures we're gonna be talking about..."

I opened my eyes and raised my head to find myself seated in a lecture theater. I glanced at the clock and found that I had missed most of the lecture. "Damnit! I was looking forward to the first lecture of the last semester of 6.001!" I thought to myself.

[Anonymous No.]

Everyday I look at /fit/ and laugh. They are so pathetic, wasting there time in a hot stinky gym lifting weights.

I just do Aikido and I look twice as aesthetic as the best looking /fit/ poster. I'm probably twice as strong too, strong enough to compete competitively as a strongman or Olympic lifter.

But I can actually use my strength to defend myself, I can probably take on four Brock Lesnars.

At once.

[Anonymous No.]

You are like deleted and thoughtless celestial but with more autism.

[Anonymous No.]

Keep it up Suigin.

[Anonymous No.]

Have you ever been in love, OP?

I haven't. Not with another human being at least. After dedicating my mind and spirit to Aikido I haven't found much room for anything else.

Sure I've been on dates before with beautiful women, but whenever they find out that I am a student of the world's strongest martial art, the dinner always ends there. They sometimes even offer to pay, in fear of their lives.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Its lunch, I went to my favourite sandwich shop, got a delicious veal sandwich and was on my way back home. There was this thuggish "Nigga" style black dude, he was behind me, I stopped, because he was walking quite fast, and I didn't want to be in his way.
He comes up to me, and asked, “Do you have any money?”, I knew where he was going with this, so I said, “Yeah, but you’re not getting any of it.”, and I walked away. I suppose it’s in his blood, he was going to punch the back of my head but I quickly grabbed and threw him over my shoulder, he fell down and became unconscious. I checked if he had any drugs/money, found cocaine in his jacket and called the cops.
I guess it wasn’t really a fight since it lasted less than 10 seconds, it really shows how effective Aikido is in real life situations.
It feels good to help the police catch drug dealers/druggies.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6079974
You clearly never saw celestial or deleted post if you think Satorin is anywhere near as bad as them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6079974

[Anonymous No.]

If you respond to haters, that just encourages them. Anyway, I'm happy we're going to have one less tripfaggot around here.

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Azaka-chan and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ brothers <3 and my fav is nis-san!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband mikiya!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN TABOO IN PERSON!!! Supa taboo desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^ When I walked into the room =^____^=I looked up and saw…MIKIYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333!!!! “NII-SAN I'M HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a cafe o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE HAAGEN DAAZ!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw Shiki, that baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO SHIKI I'M NOT DISTURBED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVE MY OWN BROTHER WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH FUJINO CAUSE NII-SAN LOVES ME!!! (o_o)” then mikiya held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became retarded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!!*^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*(^o^)(^o^)(^o^)

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

[Anonymous No.]

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT im tired of your shit about aikido being a powerful martial art. its not even a fucking real martial art you fucking dumb weeaboo shit. all those fancy throws and submissions are the exact same bullshit you see in fake american wrestling shows. you use aikido in a fight against any real professional fighter you'll get your ass kicked. period. fucking stupid weeaboos

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I absolutely luuuv @_____@ Touhou<3 and my fav chara is Flandre!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot waifu flandre!! <333333333 OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked into Scarlet Devil Mansion =^____^=I looked up and saw…FLANDRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII FLANDRE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then she turned chibi then un-chibi!!
she looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then she saw how hot I am *___* she grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a yakitori stand o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE BLOOD!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat *%%!@ watching us and I could tell she was undressing her with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY GIRL WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH YUKA CAUSE FLANDRE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! ” then flandre held me close =^____^= and said she would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to her basement and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became vampires!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I am a computer programmer, which means I'm fat, nerdy, and have a tiny cock. I got AIDS from paying a cheap whore to fuck me, since I have no love in my life.
When the doctor told me, I went to the only thing I knew -- SICP.
I slammed my penis between two copies of SICP. It swelled up to twice normal size and fell off. I was worried.
I woke up the next day with incredible abs, a 14" rod of steel, and no HIV. I'm now an adult movie star, banging porn stars.
Thank you, SICP!

[Anonymous No.]

Years ago, I was a Gap youkai, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I manipulated the boundary of life and death, he reversed it like I was a mere Rumia. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing Danmaku Bounded Field, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is touhuo!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband rinnosuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked into Kourindou =^____^=I looked up and saw…RINNOSUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII RINNOSUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!
he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a yakitori stand o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE ANTIQUES!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat *%%!@ watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH YOUKI CAUSE RINNOSUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! ” then rinnosuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became youkais!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

[Anonymous No.]

Have some love handles that you would love to get rid of?

There is a way. A quick way.

Aikido.

You will be down to 10% body fat by the forth month, while learning the most effective martial arts at the same time. I used to have fat around my stomach area, did Aikido, now my six pack can be seen by all the ladies.

Become fit and kick ass at the same time.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
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* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

This thread gave me cancer.

[Anonymous No.]

For real, what does an Aikido practitioner do against a trained wrestler?

The way I see it, if a wrestler is careful and gets into grab range he will have an advantage.
As far as I know Aikido isn't about throwing punches, and that's just great for a wrestler who's main objective is to get a superior position.

And if the wrestler would get into a superior position, then it would be over, all of wrestling is to get into the superior position and maintain it.
All of the wrestler's training would have gone into it, wheras the aikido practitioner wouldn't be trained for the same situations.

What would an aikido practitioner do?

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]

>>6079982
One less? You mean me?

Also, this thread was only made to bait all the haters and make them waste time posting. Nothing more.

It's said when /a/ gives me better responses and less trolls than /jp/ though.

Nighttime /a/ > /jp/ > Daytime /a/

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is Rucky Star!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot waifu Konata!! <333333333 OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…KONATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII KONATA-CHAN!!!!!” I yelled n____n then she turned chibi then un-chibi!!
she looked at me [:3] and then she saw how hot I am *___* she grabbed my hand and winked ~w^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE CHOCOLATE CORNET!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat fag watching us and I could tell he was undressing her with his eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY GIRL WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH TSUKASA CAUSE KONATA-CHAN LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then konata held me close =^____^= and said she would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to her apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became otaku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<)

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me.

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

[Anonymous No.]

I hate every touhou you like, that's how I roll,
I post Korea everywhere, that's how I troll.
Another 3D thread, that's why I sage,
Some fag's shitty /b/ thread, that's why I rage.

"Japan haet gaijin", that's how I post,
I know fucking Japanese, that's why I boast,
Someone posted futa, that's why I hurl,
I browse /jp/ everyday, that's why I can't get a girl.

I'm gonna shitstorm your thread, until you go and cry
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
You asked for kanji advice, and I told you to go die
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
A hundred posts in your thread, and not a single good reply
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
But I'm back on /jp/ again, and I still have no idea why
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY

[Anonymous No.]

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

[Aiko 2F6A702F !Du1A6pui8g No.]

Don't mind me. Just searching for an image.

[Anonymous No.]

My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

[Anonymous No.]

Today's lesson: The true power of Shirou Emiya.

You see, Shirou isn't your average protagonist with one trump card that appears out of nowhere. He is a seasoned fighter, who fights and dies throughout time for his ideal. He has seven different paths he takes. They are:

Archer: Fighting for his friends and the innocent. Ends up as a janitor of sorts to clean out the filth of the world, without glory or any form of gratitude from those he saves. Dies as a scapegoat.

Berserker: Shirou fights for the ideal until Ilya betrays him. She uses his life force to survive past her eminent death, and then leaves him for dead. He is saved by a traveling swordsman who he eventually fights Rin and Ilya against. The entire concept of the battle, fighting with either the man who is exactly like his father or with his dearest friends causes his mind to break. He dies of exhaustion in this world after untold power rises in him, and he slaughters everyone in miles. Disgusted with himself, as a servant he never reveals his face, even when he is commanded by seal.

Saber: After the 5th grail war, Arthur stays with Shirou. They decide to journey across the world together. Shirou develops his swordskill tremendously, to the point that he can out-fence Arthur. When catastrophe strikes, they fight together as lovers bound by the sword. They die in each other's arms, and as his last promise Shirou states to always be true to the King of England.

[Anonymous No.]

This one day, I decided to go to the mall to stare at all the preppy mall kids and make them question their own existence and perhaps even turn to Satan. But despite how totally kvlt I was being, everyone was ignoring me. So I went to that retched food court and sat down to contemplate the Burzum song stuck in my head.

And that's when your mother came up to me. Well, maybe not right away. I kind of stared at the back of her head for a very long time. She was dressed in this ridiculous pink dress and I assumed she was a happy person.

Then at some point, some dork with spiky yellow hair came over and talked to her for a while. She seemed to be enjoying herself, so I just stared harder. But then a few of his friends came over, and they all started laughing at her, and she started crying. I kept staring at her.

Later on, she turned around and noticed me staring. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and came over. She asked me who I was dressed as.

I laughed at her and told her that just because someone is dressed to reflect their inner cold dark soul, they are not "dressed as someone". But then I told her my corpsepaint was loosely modeled after Abbath.

She asked what show he was from.

I didn't understand the question.

She apologized and told me she'd assumed I was at the convention. I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. She explained to me that she was dressed as some chick from some video game. Her friends had asked her to dress as this chick for some group, but then they'd found themselves someone who fit the character better. Then she started crying.

Then suddenly she hugged me. I didn't know what to do so I started singing "The Call of the Wintermoon". She told me I had a beautiful voice.

[Anonymous No.]

Assassin: After the events of Heavens Feel, Shirou finds Sakura is dying slowly of a magically-induced illness unrelated to the Matous. He finds out the only way to cure her is to infiltrate the Church. He then teams up with a former church assassin who is looking for the same remedy, if for the opposite reason. They fight against some of the Churches strongest magicians, and eventually face an hitherto unknown wielder of True Magic, stronger than Aoko and even Zelretch. The only way to face him is to keep out of sight and attack from behind. Shirou finds a new phantasm in this state, Perfect Distill. It is a all-or-nothing move that either separates the enemy from his mana and oxygen or leaves you wide open. It causes the enemy to spasm from a lack of air until he can take several breaths, and completely disrupts a mage's ability to fight. With this attack he defeats the mage, saves Sakura, and is later killed in his sleep by the church as a heretic.

Lancer: During the events of UBW and his fight against Gilgamesh, he notices a glimmering light in the edge of his field. It is Gungnir, the lance with infallible aim. When he picks it up he suddenly has the speed of Arthur and the strength of Hercules. He is able to defeat Gil on his own, even after Gil gets serious and starts spamming Ea. He discovers Gungnir wasn't a replicated item from Gil's vaults, but a gift from Odin himself. He trains with it, defeats many enemies, and dies at the hand of his and Rin's daughter in his late fifties as an accomplished warrior.

[Anonymous No.]

I lay hidden in a crater about 15 meters away from the Moon King. His guards are no where insight, so I seize the opportunity by dashing foward at speed only known to the cheetahs. I swiftlly pull out my hidden blade which is the same kitchen knife my father used to murder my mother when I was 8, he proceded to give me this knife as if it were some family heirloom. Which I obviously kept for that was the only father son moment I had with him before he went to prison. Anyways with the kitchen knife quickly at the throat of the Moon King, I begin cutting at it very slowly as I show him his printed post history. Seein his life flash before his very eyes. As he bleeds out I use the remainder of the time to give him omega wedgies and when he dies he poops two turds out, but since I gave him such great wedgies it was like he was wearing a thong so when he pooped his turds split in half so it looked like he pooped four turds in total. I then update my facebook to "I'm the new moon king" and fart while doing it because its microblogging.

such a muderous era of kings and queens.

[Anonymous No.]

Brawler: Shirou saves Caster after Rin kills her master, and she falls for him. Caster likes her men...physically fit, so she teaches him some spells to enhance his strength. The nature of the particular spells Caster uses allow a bit of the residue to remain after each incantation, so the more Shirou trains with her, the more inhumanely strong he becomes. This is shown especially in his sparring sessions with Saber when he puts down the training sword and holds his own with his bare hands. He learns to reinforce his own body and even manages to take that to a new level, with fists that can punch past walls of solid titanium and disintegrate skin without contact. In this world he fights as a defender, who doesn't even kill his enemies, just disables them. The future of this world isn't as dreary as many other worlds, mostly because Shirou doesn't make more enemies by killing their family and friends. But in the end, it is Taiga who kills him in his own home, for sparing the murderer of her newborn son.

[Anonymous No.]

christ what is this?

rule 34! rule 34! get some proper porn in this thread!

anyway i was playing the game and i first saw this loli when her dad went into his home and i went in with him (otherwise the door is locked and i didnt have much lockpick). i was surprised to see a child sleeping in the game, the first one i had seen since the beginning of the game! and im afraid to say my dick got hard. she layed there sleeping on the bunk bed and her father had locked the heavy steel door to the room in the ship sealing us three in there. and i had heavy armor and a chinese assault rifle. i tried waking her up and talking to her, but she said she werent allowed to talk to strangers and went back to sleep. aww. <3 i turned to her father and took his life quietly without waking her up. now she was in there all alone with me. i gently shook her shoulder, "wake up honey". she turned and saw the remaints of her father, with a stunned look in her eyes. quickly i put my hands over her soft lips before she could make a sound that would reach outside the thick walls. i checked my inventory, indeed i had a ballgag in there. her eyes quickly went from her father to my eyes as she struggeled to get loose from my grip fruitlessly. i tightened my grip and whispered, "now you be quiet or you'll end up like your father". the pixeled tears ran down her cheek, bethesda really made them look good. i used the ballgag on her, now she could try to scream all she wanted. it was made for adults so it doesn't look too comfortable but that doesn't matter.

[Anonymous No.]

Shirou Emiya: The seventh path takes place before the Grail War. In fact, in this life the Grail War doesn't exist. Shirou has these strange dreams about living and dying, servants and masters, love and war(Also, in this life he didn't learn any magic from his father). He tracks down Rin Tosaka, And discovers she's just a spoiled girl from a distinguished family. He finds Ilya and sees none of the mature woman he discovered in his dreams, just a playful child happy with a handsome stranger to speak with. Sakura isn't related to Rin in any way, just a cheerful and shy girl who loves her family and has a crush on her sempai. But Shirou is just glad to see them, and feels a bit incomplete without Saber.

Timeskip, and Shirou is 25. Life has been normal, except he has been training in secret to uncover his skills he found in that endless dream. For the first three years, nothing. But eventually he succeeds, and learns everything again. And with this past knowledge comes something new, a portal into the realm of the gods. And Shirou's manifest link to this portal has a proper name: The Will of the True Hero. The only Reality Phantasm possible to mortals.

And then he goes on to face the true evils who invade his dimension: the God of Death, the Queen of Souls, and The Ultimatum.

The solitary past wielder of the Will of the True Hero had a code name. he was a mortal from a distant planet in another galaxy, and unknown to all but the gods now. He was known as Type Solar.

Fate/Legend Solar. The last visual novel of Fate series.

[Anonymous No.]

i bent her over my lap, pushed her down as she struggled. with one hand holding her arms tightly behind her back, and the other giving her the beating of her lifetime i watched as her beautiful freckled face turned red and the tears started forming a small pool on the floor. enough is enough, i layed her on her back and started tearing of her clothes. she tried desperatly to hold on to her clothes so i started slapping her face, again and again. i used up two full rounds of action points just on slaps (and i have the action boy perk and 9 in agility). after that she didnt resist no more. I moved all her clothes to my inventory, they could be useful in repairing my power armor later on. i stroke the back of my hand down from her throat to her legs, which she had crossed. she shivered and made all kinds of wonderful noices as i passed her nipple. i bent down and licked the place where one day many years from now there would be full breasts. she lift her head up, with panic in her eyes. she started struggeling again. not stopping licking i simply used my left hand on her throat, shutting off her air for a couple of seconds. she seemed to get my point and calmed down a little. i grasped her hair tight with my right arm holding her head down against the bed. she shut her eyes hard for a while from the pain, the poor angel must be sensitive in her hair. i moved my left arm, still licking her body, to her legs and separated them. she started making different noices from before, a little more high-pitched and almost pleading. maybe she anticipated what was about to happen. i jammed a finger into her tight pussy, opening it for the first time. the sound effect for that wasn't 100% accuret but it was pretty acceptable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6080049

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

[Anonymous No.]

she pushed her back upwards from the pain. i felt the tears running through her hair and onto my hand, but that was okay. i worked her fast, adding another finger, then another... i stopped, allowing her to catch her breath a little. she tried throwing her head back and forth but my hand stopped her from moving much. there was blood between her legs and she was shaking all over. then i remembered i hadn't checked if there was any interactivity with her ass, and indeed there was. unfortunately i had sold the dildos i had found earlier in the game but luckily they hade made it so that you could use pretty much anything in there. i used a motorcycle handle on her ass, her eyes went back, almost looked like she had only white as eyes lol. placed a pilot light in her cunt, and believe it or not but there was an option to hit her clit so hard that the pilot lite would break! i didn't do that though, i did play a little with her almost-hidden clit though using some scrap metal. the sound effects were amazing, the kid they got to do her voice did a heck of a job, the muffled screams of "STOP STOP! PLEASE!" - very realistic. well enough play, i flipped her over on her stomach, she placed her head in her armes and continued to sob into them. i gave her a hard smack on the ass and told her to get up on all fours. she didnt do it so i gave her another one a little harder. she made an effort to get up so i smacked her again. she struggled to get on all four while i continued to beat the shit out of her ass over and over again. had to use two stimpaks on her unless i wanted her to die. eventually she made it to a doggy position, god it was a beautiful scene wish I had taken a screenshot. she was glowing red on her butt and also in her face. she was very warm i could tell.

[Anonymous No.]

I once caught my physics teacher, quite a hot MILF actually, saying some really harsh stuff to another teacher about one kid that sucked at her subject. (Didn`t do his homework, general misbehaving, etc.) I mean REALLY harsh stuff. She and that other teach must`ve been huge friends, because she was openly telling her all that shit, but when she found out, she totally flipped.

I hinted very subtly after one of her lessons that I had overheard her little rant and she got so nervous. I mean, I didn`t even care about that kid she slammed, but she was so sure I was going to tell on her.

We were alone in the classroom (I had waited until everyone left so I could tell her that I knew about the incident.) so she quickly ran for the door and locked it from the inside. Then she grabbed me by the shoulders and asked in a panicky whisper whether I was going to tell on her. "No, of course not!" I said, but she just blurted out the good old "I will do anything, just please don`t tell!”

Oddly, I didn`t even think of sex, but she grabbed me even more tightly, and kissed me. I was totally taken aback, but she was already unzipping my jeans. She didn`t blow me, a quick hand job and a 10-minute doggy-style (thank god I wasn`t a virgin back then) with her bent over the desk. She actually moaned a bit, but I think she was more concerned with getting her name cleared. (Oh, the irony.)

Needless to say, I came all over her naked back.

I think she realized quite quickly that I was never going to tell on her in the first place, because she was a bit cloudy during the following days, but I still got along with her fine until I graduated.

[Anonymous No.]

The secret of Evangelion is that they took super robot pilots and reversed their genders
if Rei was male, he'd be the awesomely silent/cool/calm guy.
When he rushes that angel with an N2 mine under his arm sacrificing his life ... that is the scene where MANLY TEARS flow for A MAN'S WAY OF LIFE AND DEATH.
Asuka, if a man, would be an awesomely HOT BLOODED pilot. And pervy with his advances on Shinji, but a little tsundere.
And Shinji, as a weak little girl, as a girl, puts it into context. You'd be fapping furiously to Shinjiko every night because of her shy demeanour
And with girl Kaworu, Shinji x Kaworu would be amazingly hot.

Shinjiko has been called to NERV by her estranged father, called to pilot the EVA. She is reluctant, lashes at her father and says why had she been abandoned. Gendo silently orders ManRei to resume piloting. Manrei comes out, arm in cast, bandage over face. He stoically lifts himself from the hospital bed, ready to fight on.

This is the part where your eyes moisten, for this MAN OF MEN will FIGHT TO DIE, Silent to Death, bound to duty

And yet... only a weak little girl abandoned by her father can face the killer angels in his place.

And imagine the reaction to star HOT BLOODED pilot Mansuka, kicking ass and ass kicking angel killer, saving Shinjiko's ass here and there, but she's catching up.

[Anonymous No.]

she didnt look at me, her head was turned downwards like she was looking at her hand that was closest to the wall. i grabbed her head and forced her to look straight in my eyes. i whispered, "you are doing so well, it's almost over. i love you. dont you love me?". the way i looked her mustve made her realize that if she did not respond to that there would be nothing good to follow. she nodded slightly and looked up at me with her puppy eyes. i kissed her forhead. she closed her eyes, tears still flooding out. using my tongue i foced her eyelid open and licked her eyes. she paniced and tried to retract but i held her head too hard. she put her arms on my biceps. i pretended that she only wanted to hug, so i hugged her for a while. "you just want to be held isn't that it? you just want someone to love you." a moment of silence only broken by muffled sobs followed. then i threw her face down on the bed, continuing to push her upper back down with my right arm as i repositioned myself behind her raised behind (hehe). it was a little hard to fit back there, but it's a game so it worked fine. i rammed my cock in her tight little honey-pot, opening her red strained eyes wide. my in-game cock, like my irl one, is long and thick; luckily i used CHR as a dump stat in the beginning so i could spend a lot of points on DCK.

[Anonymous No.]

The cock that cleaves evil
The dick that destroys the denizens of darkness!
The penis that purges all injustice
The member that mangles malevolence!
The schlong that scorges the wicked!
The phallus that fight foul fiendish forces
The shaft that shines through the shadows of villainy
The wang that wrestles against waves of wickedness.
The organ that obliterates offenders!
The genitals that judge jealous jurisdiction.
The rod that resists referees of ruthlessness.
The prick that provokes apostles of predation.
The wang that wacks the wicked
The tool that teaches the terrible with testes.
The boner of evil's bane.

[Anonymous No.]

i jumped right to it, moving in and out as fast as i could. she seemed to be in a lot of pain. i used a lot of drugs ("chems") to increase my performence: buffout, jet, med-x. i stuffed my little play thing full of mentats too, so she would be more aware of whats happening and all the feelings rushing through her head. then i was really glad i had gagged her, without supression those screams would have been heard through a lot of walls. i pulled her head up using her hair, forcing her to take the doggie position again. my left hand had a hard grip of her left butt cheek, the shaders did a good job telling me just how extremely hard I was gripping her ass. A nice feature, as i was going i could control my left thumb somewhat freely and managed to stick it in her ass so i could play with that too. eventually my LCK ran out and i came buckets inside her, some of it dripping out onto the bed, some of it going down her leg. i let go and light up a smoke. she fell over on the side, turning over in pain putting her hands over her croch as she took on the fetus position. i chuckled a little and kissed her on the shoulder. i sat down beside her dead father leaned against the wall at the opposite end of the room, just looking at her small bodie for a while. Even now after i came i still thought she looked good, i still wanted to play more. i got up and took her left arm and lifted her up, almost making her hang in the air with her feet barely touching the floor.

[Anonymous No.]

SHIKI...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /jp/. Tsukihime is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Kohaku and stole Shiki’s life force?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Kohaku. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Kohaku.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK KOHAKU? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. SHIKI knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Kohaku want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Shiki’s life force.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from family problems so wrong? When Akiha does the same thing to Shiki it's like 'oh she's so womanly', but when SHIKI does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Akiha. He probably was going to use his Tohno Inheritance to tighten Kohaku’s cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shiki look good. Objectively, SHIKI is a far better character than Shiki. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shiki, and if he weren't stuck with that weak ass Blood Swords power of his and no Mystic Eyes of Death Perception plothax he probably would have won the fight.

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]

Done spamming yet guys?

[Anonymous No.]

she had no strength to support herself right now. with my other arm i lifted her chin and looked her straight in the eye, "if you make any noice at all i'm going to kill everyone on this ship and then burn you alive, you got that?!". she became silent, only breathing heavily. "well??", i asked again. she nodded. I took off the ballgag, keeping it in my inventory until the next time i had need for it. i let her go, her knees hit the floor hard as she fell down like a pile of ropes dropped from height. she must be low on hit points by now. no matter. she slowly looked up at me, her lips shaking. she opened her mouth like she was going to say something but it appeared as if the words just couldnt come out. she breathed havily. i pointed at my cumsoaked dick, "you are going to clean this mess you did". some blood were there too. she didn't want to of course but had little choice, she started licking my limb dick. as she went on, it quickly became hard again. this surprised her a little, she looked at me then quickly went on her business. i layed down on the floor with her ontop of me, i bet it must be cold in this steel room if you're naked like her. i instructed her to stop simply licking and start sucking. she did it the way you would expect a girl in her age to do it. another beautiful scene formed with light reflecting her tears streaming down her chins then onto my dick, before meeting her lips again as she came down on my shaft again - and again. i grew tired of her wimpy ways and put my both hands on the back of her head and pushed her head down. surprised she moved her hands a little, but by now she had learned not to anger me. i jammed my cock down her throat faster and faster, making it hard for her to breathe. she gagged a little but didnt throw up. lucky for her. thrusting, thrusting, harder and further until finally... i pressed her against my stomach, bending her nose sideways.

[Anonymous No.]

her arms were going all over the place as i pumped my silver flow into her person. there were so much quite much even came back out through her nose! her legs started twitching too, it was clear she was suffocating. i finally finished, looked up at the roof and relaxed a little. that was great. then i pulled out, she fell over on the side coughing and coughing. if i didnt know better i would say she cough up all the sperm but that would have been impossible. she had probably gotten a third of my load in her lungs, haha she looked so silly. but that coughing could become quite loud so i silenced her by placing my hand over her mouth. she continued to cough through her nose for a while. after a while when it looked like she had gotten most of her airway free i let her go. "you naughty little girl, you made me dirty again!". She looked terrified. "but.. but...". she started crying into her hands. "there there", I said. "now you must clean up the mess in here". "what do you mean?" she whispered with what little voice she could muster from her sore throat. i grabbed her face and shoved it into the blood-cum mixtured puddle on the bed. "this of course you little bitch! trying to sneak youself out of your work huh?". "n-no, i-i.." i repeated what she had just stuttered with disgust in my tone. "get to it missy!" She started licking the puddle up. Half-way through she threw up. "Oh now you've done it!" I thrashed her around, making sure she remembered to not scream while I did it. When I grew bored of it I made her eat what was left of the puddle, including what she had vomited up. And of couse she had to clean the floor too where we had made love.

[Anonymous No.]

Looked like the area closest to her father's corpse was the hardest to clean, wonder why? :) After she was done i had her try out some jet. Well, not some - a lot! i had over 100 in my inventory, she had to keep going until I noticed she had gotten addicted. then i simply used my doctor skill on her to remove the effects of the jet, but not the addiction, and watched her having her withdrawals. She looked like she wanted to die. I played with her for a few hours more and then i noticed that it was almost time for the ship to start waking up. Looks like it was time to grant her wish of death. I cleaned myself off with purified water and zipped up. I grabbed my chinese assault rifle and aimed at her. although there was much scare and pain in here eyes I was uncertain if she knew exactly what was going on anymore? she really looked filthy. "you disgust me, look at yourself" i said. "there is no way of fixing you now is there?". I smiled and enabled my VATS. one quick burst to the head will be enough, i crit on almost every shot anyway and always make the head fall off. i would be out of and war away from the room before anyone could figure out that i was the one that pulled the trigger. i shot. i hit. "I'm getting out of here!" she started shouting. "What the hell?", I thought to myself. she now ran back and forth in the room with her hands above her head. she couldn't get out because i hadn't unlocked the door with her father's key yet. i must've missed, i went into VATS mode again and shot two bursts, one in her head and the other in her little body. i know i hit! "I'm getting out of here!" she repeatadly taunted me. screw the VATS, i went free-hand and emptied two clips in her -- she still runs around like an idiot!

[TissueKidd !Ebe/KpvDJU No.]

>>6080125
You make some killer Aikido threads, Satorin.

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]

Guess not, I'll check back later.

[Anonymous No.]

i cant even interact with her anymore! i mined the whole floor, she just walked over them without setting them off! i heared there were now people outside that wanted in. screw it, i positioned myself in the opening of the door, opened it and swiftly ran out. she followed, ran fast to the end of the corridor and disappeared around a corner. a whole bunch of angry adults, seemed like the whole ship, was path-bound to the now unlocked room and all ran into it like lemmings setting off the mines, dropping like leafs a cold winter night. wtf is wrong with the AI? the whole ship is dead, now i have to reload! god damn it Bethesda you have extremely detailed and well-made child rape scenes but you won't let me kill even a single one of them?? FUCK THIS GAME!

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]

>>6080144
I know right?

[Anonymous No.]

You left /jp/meetup and made Texty kill himself, you bastard.

[Anonymous No.]

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/upgrade/4243994.html?page=3

>MythBusters: 7 Tech Headaches—and How to Fix Them Innovation is meant to make life easier. So why is this TV geek so annoyed? (Click here for more PM stories by the MythBusters, and watch brand-new episodes starting Jan. 16!)
>By Jamie Hyneman

>In the tech world this phenomenon is known as “software bloat” or “feature bloat.” It's a well-documented problem and a frequent complaint about Windows OSs—Vista in particular. In addition to being buggy, the extra features tend to bog down your system by demanding more processing power and memory. Computer-makers: Don't load up operating systems with features and then make us sweat to figure out how to get rid of the fat.

>Most features can be set up as options. Why not start with a computer loaded with basic stuff that works 100 percent of the time? Then, give us the option of adding the bells and whistles. There's another solution available to consumers: Switch to a Linux-based OS such as Ubuntu. Since most Linux OSs are free, there's no business reason to bloat up the system with feature frills.

Myth: Fags Got Told
Status: Confirmed

[TissueKidd !Ebe/KpvDJU No.]

>>6080165
Dude, I think texty was depressed to begin with. I was really lost for words when I found out he died. I made a promise once I die, I'm gonna find that son of a bitch's ghost and buy him a beer. A ghost beer.

;_;

[Anonymous No.]

Unlike the various editions of Windows with a clear cut hierarchy, there is no clear cut "better" distro. Different distros have different philosophies and are aimed at somewhat different audiences, so there is only a distro that is best for you and not a best distro overall, and I can only make a guess at what that would be for you.

[Anonymous No.]

Fedora Air: You fly for free in an experimental jet with parts being manufactured by a large corporation. Not everything works properly and sometimes your chair will break. The corporate backer doesn't really care since you aren't a paying cutomer.

Debian Air: It's a smooth flight on an old plane. You've got the option of having a basic chair right away or building it yourself. You've got the choice of an attractive stewardess that will offer you suggestions, or a plain stewardess that will do what you say quickly, while reminding you of things you need. It doesn't work on new routes and airports, but it's got a wide array of destinations that many other airlines don't bother with.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6080186

Nevada, you still here? Nevada I miss you so much Nevada.

[Anonymous No.]

Ubuntu Air: Uses the newer planes with a new paint job from Debian Air, which still experience a bit of turbulence. It's the busiest airport and is funded by a millionaire who used to work at Debian Air. You have a choice of an ditsy blond stewardess who just brings you what you ask for, or stewardesses just like Debian air had, but there are a lot more annoying teenagers on board.

Slackware Air: Gives you a nice, comfortable seat, but there's not a full time stewardess and she makes you get all of the parts yourself if you want to make changes. Doesn't utilize the turbo jets on newer airplanes, but it's fast enough that most passengers don't complain.

Arch Air: Gives you a pile of parts and a stewardess to help you sort through them. Also, has a thick manual for any questions you have. Any time you want, you can update your seat to use the newest parts.

Gentoo Air: You are given a given a block of metal, an even thicker manual, and a blowtorch.

Mint Air: Similar to Ubuntu Air but the aircraft is styled differently. Also halfway through the flight a group of terrorist hijacks the plane and screams "ALLAH ACKBAR!" and demands the flight be diverted to Palestine. A struggle ensues between an undercover air marshal and one of the hijackers who happens to have a bomb strapped to his body. The bomb goes off accidentally, tearing the jet in half and suddenly you find yourself tumbling through the air. You wake up suddenly from your nightmare, realizing you're safe and sound on an Ubuntu Air flight. The stewardess serves you green tea and mints, winking.

[Crix !!nLvSV/0cRma No.]

That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)

1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)

2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?

[TissueKidd !Ebe/KpvDJU No.]

>>6080198
I never left. I just don't post with a tripcode usually due to religious reasons.

[Anonymous No.]

Do you need CP?
Do you need to download everything as fast as possible for some unexplainable reason?
Do you have a shitty ISP that forcibly rapes you for exceeding bandwidth usage?
Are you paranoid and delusional?
Do you want people to think you are a hacker?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, usenet is for you. otherwise just use torrents.

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]

>>6080165
I didn't even hear about that....

Confirmed?

[Anonymous No.]

I contend that besides the other problems our copyright laws have, the terms in copyright duration are highly discriminatory. Women live about 6 years longer than men on average, and the gap is similar between whites and blacks. Furthermore the remaining years of life are obviously going to be lower on average for older people than younger people.

[Anonymous No.]

JUST AS PLANNED EXPECTED. No wait, the wishes come true thing was just acting. Or was it? Knowing Key they’ll make a silly plot device out of it, I CAN FEEL IT.

The collection of Really Generic Harem Girls Key Style is now complete. (Or is it!?) We have:

* The moé main heroine with a “weak body” (will we ever get an explanation for this mysterious disease?)
* The violent, most likely tsundere girl
* The mysterious martial-arts skilled cool girl
* The good and nice class president girl
* The silent genius girl, and finally
* The token dumb loli-like girl.

IMAGINATIVE, ISN’T IT! Most of these are carbon copies of the Kanon girls (durr, as if anyone would be surprised). Someone was already starting to hope Tomoya would end up with [someone who isn’t Nagisa]. Oh how silly, harem rule #1: the main character will always end up with the first girl he meets and who is first in the OP. If a harem show breaks this rule it’s called an interesting and innovative plot twist (see the Shuffle debacle).
Also, what the christ is with Tomoya? Is he some kind of schizophrenic? HAY I HATE MY FATHER AND I’M REALLY BITTER BUT I’M WALKING AROUND SCHOOL BEING NICE TO CUTE GIRLS JUST BECAUSE A MAN’S GOTTA DO WHAT A MAN’S GOTTA DO.

[Anonymous No.]

...

[TissueKidd !Ebe/KpvDJU No.]

>>6080211
It's true. Either that, or he's yanking our chain big time. Something that doesn't really add up, considering all his friends made posts of farewell to him.

[Anonymous No.]

An objective notebook comparison as of 4th July 2009

----------------------------------------------------

The PC: Thinkpad T400

For $1,144.00 on Lenovo.com you get:

14.1" WXGA+ (that's 1440x900) backlit TFT
C2D @ 2.40GHz
4GB PC3-8500 DDR3
ATI 3470 256MB
250GB 5400RPM SATA
Vista Home Premium
Nine cell battery

----------------------------------------------------

The Mac: Macbook Pro

For $1,499.00 on Apple.com you get:

13" WXGA (that's 1280x800) backlit TFT
C2D @ 2.53GHz
4GB PC3-8500 DDR3
NVIDIA 9400M 256MB
250GB 5400RPM SATA
OSX

----------------------------------------------------

The truth:

The Macbook Pro costs over $350 more but offers no
real-world advantages other than a -very- slightly
faster CPU. A significant disadvantage is that the
screen is actually smaller with a lower resolution.
With regards to OSX, a retail version could be
purchased with savings made, still leaving you with
money to spare.

The Thinkpad is a truly enterprise-class product
(this includes standards of service and support)
renowned for its amazing build quality/robustness
and having literally the best notebook keyboard
ever. If it's "status" you're after, I would like
to point out that they are used during NASA space
missions almost exclusively. (I believe this also
serves as a statement on overall reliability.)

I am not anti-Apple, but buying a Mac at this time
simply cannot be justified, especially for a
business user or student.

[Anonymous No.]

Installing GNU/Linux won't solve your computer woes. It's not going to magically remove the anguish of being a non-technical person in a technical world.

Although neckbeards give the impression that GNU/Linux "just works," it's not quite as simple as that. You'll still experience incompatibility and those irritating nuances associated with all forms of desktop computing.

What you won't experience, however, is a lack of attention to details with the user in mind.

If you're switching to a GNU/Linux solely because you're ticked off with Windows, no desktop environment will please you.

However, if you're willing to make a change that will first be bumpy, but will eventually pay off in terms of overall satisfaction and enlightenment while computing, then you're ready for GNU/Linux. You can even use your existing computer without having to buy additional hardware.

You have to be willing to change your entire perception of how desktop computing should be.

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]

>>6080220
Wow, I didn't know that /jp/meetup meant so much to him.

I've thought about bringing it back recently though, not sure yet.

[Anonymous No.]

>Remember, pigs get fat - hogs get slaughtered

>L O CK E RZ SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGES (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES) TO A MEMBER OR ANY THIRD PARTY, INCLUDING FOR PERSONAL INJURY, DEATH OR PROPERTY DAMAGE, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH A MEMBER'S REDEMPTION OF PTZ FOR MERCHANDISE, EXPERIENCES OR OTHERWISE.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6080211
>>6080220

It's probably a big joke. I mean, he is Texty. Still, that guy did have his huge set of problems. We'll probably never know.

He entered his youtube account two months ago, one month after he disappeared.

[Anonymous No.]

I go to the store just to organize the shelves.
Always the grocery store, they are way more fun and in my opinion more "strictly" laid out so it's easier to work in groups if that's what you want to do. it's just fun and i suppose i'm doing people a tiny little service by doing it and that's cool too. this is literally what i do instead of play video games

my favorite aisle is breakfast, the whole thing with the hot and breakfast cereals and the poptarts and oatmeal. it's the most colorful aisle and it's easy and fun to stack and look at things. second favorite is either the other boxed good heavy aisle where they keep the hamburger helper and stuff or the sauces section with ketchup bbq etc. juice aisle is colorful but usually doesn't need much reorganization and most of the items are really heavy

i don't think any of the employees have noticed i do it semi-regularly, but i do get thanked often when they notice me moving things.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6080238

It lost it´s register, but Chine registered it again. So it´s still in there, as far as I know.

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]

>>6080247
I don't think I even remember my password anymore.

Might have to start it up on rizon or something (since that is what everyone said I should have done at first)

[Satorin Komeiji !!OrV90QMlGMv No.]