/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Hey /jp/, why don't you have a girlfriend?

It's not as if there's no women out there for you; there's tons of weeaboo girls who are too socially unacceptable for most other men, and they aren't all ugly as sin. And if you cleaned up your neckbeards and learned how to communicate just a little better, you could probably score a real Japanese girl. White guys pick up on Japanese chicks just like Black men steal white chicks.

Really, you have no reason not to have a real waifu.

[Voile's other hermit !!YEZvwvDFX75 No.]

I have an actual aversion to other people for now, this is my reason.

[Anonymous No.]

prove it

[All day !jCOMomijIM No.]

Because I like dick, reported.

[Anonymous No.]

Everything is disgusting
No thanks

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034925
That's called autism.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034927
prove what?
>>6034928
Walk into university, look for hyperactive weeaboo chick who isn't fat, hit on her, fuck like rats.

[Anonymous No.]

>Really, you have no reason not to have a real waifu.

Reason 1:
Women IRL are boring.
Reason 2:
They are all whores. Every last one of them. Even the ugly ones.
Reason 3:
I'm not going to throw my freedom away. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous No.]

Just dropping in to say that 愛 is written pretty poorly.

[Voile's other hermit !!YEZvwvDFX75 No.]

>>6034930
Wahahaha, I love disorder diagnosis, its all bullshit

BULLSHIT I TELL YEH

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034933
>weeaboo chick
>not fat

Hahahahahahuehuehuehuehuehue u so funneh

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034930

Even an autistic guy can get a girlfriend if he tries hard enough...

[Anonymous No.]

>real waifu

Fucking normalfag scum, get out of 4chan. Your kind do not belong here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034935
I drew it in MS paint, what do you expect?
>>6034937
There's actually quite a few that aren't fat... but they are extremely hyperactive and you will have to put up with it...

Give 'em coffee, it'll make 'em mellow.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm going to sage this thread.

[Voile's other hermit !!YEZvwvDFX75 No.]

>>6034944
Actually I did know a pretty sexy looking weeaboo, too bad she turned into a wannabe vampire weeaboo

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034944
Right. Except the weeaboo chicks who aren't fat are scene/emo hipsters who happen to like anime. That's a real boner killer, even if I liked real women.

[Anonymous No.]

Because.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034941
.....I'm not normal. I fap to loli and spend the majority of my time indoors. Needless to say, I still managed to hit on the only female in my electronics class and she happened to be a weeaboo like me.

And she is very submissive....

There are thousands of girls just as weird who aren't fat and need to get laid.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034952
You're the worst thing to happen to this website and I fucking hate you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034946
Not like everyone else hasn't done it....

[Anonymous No.]

Because I value my time.

[ZUN !barYV1VtIA No.]

>>6034945
>>too bad she turned into a wannabe vampire weeaboo

I would steal her heart with my Castlevania guitar remixes.

[Anonymous No.]

every girl I ever met in my life minus about 4 or 5 were unattractive. I'm not convinced, if they exist tell me where they are so I can find happiness. Otherwise, gtfo

[Voile's other hermit !!YEZvwvDFX75 No.]

>>6034964
She already got a wannabe vampire boyfriend, who isn't a weeaboo, so no luck there ZUNbar.

Had I actually made effort towards her I probably coulda scored a girlfriend, but I was too immature then ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

Because I don't want one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034957

U MAD?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034971
You sure are mature now, spending all of your time with touhous.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034970

Washington State.

[Anonymous No.]

There was this one girl I knew for a while, but we only decided to hang out starting last year or so. Her power level was as high as mine, if not more, and she wasn't exactly bad looking either.

I confessed and everything seemed all good and all. But around after my birthday, she started ignoring me and avoided me at all costs.

Bitches and whores.

[Anonymous No.]

It's true. Sex every now and then is ok. But having someone in my house 24/7, I just can't imagine that. Never loved someone strong enough to give up my privacy.

[Voile's other hermit !!YEZvwvDFX75 No.]

>>6034986
Then I'm very in luck!

wahaha

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034923
Sorry, OP, but there's no girl who's smart, not butt ugly, and not insane.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

any retard can get any random girl

real men aim for a single girl they love

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034991
I found one of those once. Smart, liked playing vidya games with me, was attracted to me, had great tits and a really cute face. Even though she slacked off in school more than I did, she would have been perfect.

And then I found out she wanted to get a sex change.

Remember this, /jp/, if you ever find the perfect girl, she's going to have one outstanding flaw that will completely destroy your relationship.

[Anonymous No.]

Once I finish reading all of these

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034995
And I guess you are a real men? :d

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6035006
yeah

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034991

Then deal with a flaw. Hell, my girl is always fucking depressed, but she's the best I could ever want in a lover...

[Anonymous No.]

Reported all of OP's posts. Get the fuck out, normalfag. This board is not for you. Try /b/ or /v/.

[Anonymous No.]

What the fuck is wrong with all these relationshit threads on /jp/? Just go to >>>/r9k/ , >>>/adv/ the whole lot of you.

[Anonymous No.]

Daily normalfag thread. Reported.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6034982
I am pissed

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035034
I am even more pissed than you. So I reported you for bumping this thread.
Sage to bully you and OP. Take that.

[Anonymous No.]

Why the fuck would I bother?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035044
I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

[Anonymous No.]

Because I'm black and white women make me sick.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>6034923

>Hey /jp/, why don't you have a girlfriend?

I like to read books, troll 4chan, play vidya and write cool stories instead of social interaction

asperger's.jpg

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035050
This was obviously written by someone who doesn't know why people still sage

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035058
What do you expect? That kopipe comes from Suigin.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>6035065
it comes from Eksopl
and >>6035058
is autistic

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035052

And you don't hit on black or asian women?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035067
Actually, I thought it would come from AoRF since iichan is mentioned in the kopipe?

[Anonymous No.]

Because I'm 22 and all the women my age are impure sluts.

I already missed my chance.

[Anonymous No.]

It's because you write 愛 poorly.

>real waifu
Of course my waifu is real. You know, the cute, sweet, 2D one. Maybe you're referring to 'girlfriend'. Yep, that's the term alrighty.
Get out normalfag scum.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035071
>hit on black women
>my reaction

Also asians don't like/are scared of blacks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035080
Who says you have to get a girlfriend your age?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035086
Me. I don't want a girlfriend who I can't have a conversation with due to the age gap.

[Anonymous No.]

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[Anonymous No.]

>>6035096
What sort of mature things for mature people like yourself do you talk about? Why do you think a woman your age would necessarily talk about anything worthwhile? For that matter, being on /jp/, there's almost certainly a bigger interest gap between you and "normal" chicks than between you and younger chicks.

Besides that, topics come from experiences. Get yourself a blank slate and fill her full of your weeaboo interests.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035097
You're a retard, /jp/ is above being trolled.

We already know when we're being trolled, we just decide to respond anyways because this board is slow and shitty.

[Anonymous No.]

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[Anonymous No.]

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[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035109
>>6035097
Tch... But that isn't fun at all.

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­ ­

[Anonymous No.]

Because I'M a faggót. Reported everyone in this thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035106
And just where the fuck am I going to find jail bait at my age? The only time I leave my room is to take exams, and anyone taking the same classes are my age or older.

It's all moot.

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­ ­­

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­­­­

[Anonymous No.]

I love these fags who think spamming troll threads make them any better than the troller himself.

In fact, it's makes you even worse. Hide the thread you dumb fucks.

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­­­­­

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035120
>Become a tour guide for incoming freshmen
>meet 17 year old freshmen chicks or 16 year old grade skippers

unless you think all teens are also impure.

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­ ­­­­­­­

[Anonymous No.]

Thanks bro, I accidentally deleted the file I had the shit faggot pasta saved on. At least this thread was good for something.

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­ ­­­­­­­­­

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>6035084

Are you one of those self-hating blacks who refuse to date their own race?

And did you have some kind of a bad experience with Asians? I live nearby a sizeable community of slanty-eyed folk, have mingled with them, and had no relative problems.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6035138
Even if I meet them, what are the chances they're also a virgin at that age?

I'm telling you, it's a waste of time. I'm better off waiting for a miracle to occur than actively pursuing it and becoming like the normalfags I despise so much. It's not like I desperately want one anyways, it would just be something nice if it ever happened.

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are­ permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­­

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees t­o my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i ­am forever a shit faggot.­

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and tw­enty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit brok­en, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lun­gs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four S­pace Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.­