/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

>go to take a piss
>sister darts into bathroom before me
>decide to let her go first an go back to my room
>leaves 5 minutes later
>go in
>Toilet seat is half broke off
>shit stains on the toilet seat
>shit covered tissue on the floor next to the trashcan an in it
>smells like something died
>didn't flush the toilet
>ask her what the fuck she did
>"It wasn't me"

[Anonymous No.]

>she wants to fuck

[Anonymous No.]

3DPD

[Anonymous No.]

>She wants to fuck

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026344
>>6026361
Is /jp/ always this witty?

[Anonymous No.]

>Ear feels kinda plugged
>Fish around with q-tips and pull out ear wax
>Ever since then my left ear has been ringing really loudly
>Can't concentrate, and am extremely annoyed
>Tell my mom about it
>She bursts into treats
FUCKING GAMESTOP

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026372
Sometimes we shit on the floor.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026340
you took this from the greentext thread on /a

[Anonymous No.]

I like how the janitor only deleted 2 pages before giving up

[Anonymous No.]

You forgot the best part desu-kunchan.

>Got on the floor
>walked the dinosaur.

[Anonymous No.]

How do you break a toilet seat?

[Anonymous No.]

>open the thread
>try to write retarded greentext cool story
>what the fuck should I write
FUCKING GAMESTOP

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026383
>She bursts into treats

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026398
It's:

>Open the door.
>Shit on the floor.
>Everybody walk the /jp/saur

Dumbass.

[Anonymous No.]

>she wants to fuck
>FUCKING GAMESTOP

I thought /jp/ was above spouting memes from other boards?

[Anonymous No.]

>15 years old
>bully/jerk military brat
>just moved schools
>live close to GameStop
>kid in class looks like a 10/10 trap, no joke
>constantly torment and pick on him
>find out he tried to kill himself
>AND that it was his birthday
>also that he was a poorfag and got pretty much nothing
>feel like an asshole
>realize just how terrible of a person I'd been
>see the kid in the GameStop later
>he recognizes me
>puts game down
>starts shuffling towards the exit
>I try to apologize, he runs out
>Car drives off
>Notice that he was holding Battletanx
>Buy it, take it home, wrap it up
>Next day at school find out where he lives
>Go to his house, knock, no reply
>No cars in front of the house
>Front door is unlocked, open it and go inside
>Wander around, feel like a thief, enjoying the thrill
>Hear moaning, walk towards a door at the end of a hallway
>Look inside, see him with a dildo halfway inside him
>He's jerking it and pounding himself with amazing finesse

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026460

Why are you on /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>I try to hold in a sneeze (allergic to cats), fail, sneeze loudly
>He screams, snaps his neck towards the door, sees me, falls over and crawls to the corner
>He holds up his hands defensively, bawling, he pisses himself out of fear
>I have to yell over his crying to tell him to shut up
>Explain that I'm sorry for what I did, toss the game near him (avoiding the piss)
>He's stopped crying, picks it up and opens it
>Just stares at the cover for literally about 30 seconds
>I tell him that I've got a better birthday gift, after seeing him on the bed
>Ask him if his parents are coming back soon
>He says no, still shaking a little, I move over and hold him against me tightly, repeating that I was sorry, he says it's okay and hugs back tightly
>We start kissing as he helps me unzip my pants
>Have the most amazing sex in my life for the next few hours, in more positions than I can count
>Afterwards play vidya, clean up most of his piss, when his parents come home we blame what's left on the cat being scared of me
>Spend the rest of my high school almost every day with him, playing vidya and tons of sex
>He loves being a girly boy in private, has skin as smooth as a womans and makes cute squeals and giggles that turn me on like nobody's business

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026460
>>6026475
>My face when copypasta

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026448
>implying you haven't seen the state of /jp/ these past three months

[Anonymous No.]

Do you guys have a club to make /jp/ shitty or something?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026460
>>6026475
Cool pasta but I like to besmear oneself with fresh warm dango and masturbate. Every day I walk with a black garbage bag and collect all dango that I see. For two full bags I spend all day. But when after heavy day I come home, I go to a bath, I turn on hot water... mmm and then I dump there my pleasure. And fap, imagining, that I has absorbed by huge dango. In general it seems to me, that dango, are able to think, they have families, cities, feelings, do not wash off them in a toilet bowl, shelter them, speak with them, caress them.... Oh, and yesterday in a bathroom, I had a wonderful dream when I have dived into the sea, and it turn into a dango; fishes, seaweed, jellyfishes all made of dango, even the sky, even the Allah.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026483
Actually yeah, it's called #meltanjp

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026483
>he realizes that only now

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026475
Fuck, now I'm extremely depressed that I'll never experience something like this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026488

I thought it was #friendcircle

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026448
That would imply that the people who are posting these are /jp/ regulars.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026448
I believe many of us learned those from threads like this. Not that they actually use it properly, just post it as sarcasm since the thread should be deleted anyways.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026519
wasn't #hotglue?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026616
>>6026519
>>6026488
aren't we lucky, so many people who want to shit up the board, it's like we're important or something

[Anonymous No.]

Yukari's a busta

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026616
hotglue is the best "/jp/-related" IRC channel

[Sudo !nAoZUmIAfk No.]

>>6026628
I think you meant to say #/jp/. We have the VN bot there, and it's not just faggots thinking up ways to troll this board.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026630
do you have any link to this mod please ? pretty please ?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026623
We are important, we are the bright future of the humanity. Of course they want to mess with us. It makes them feel like they matter in the grand scale of things.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026642
I still wonder why I'¡m banned from there if I've literally never entered there

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026676
The bot also automatically detects retards, and bans them.

[Anonymous No.]

Today the woman and your person do to see, now returning to me, now support with your person, now returning to me. Heavyheartedly, him isn' t me, but with the woman the key when you stop the fact that body washing which is attached is used as for him he' The way smell can do; s me. Backup see. It is somewhere? You' As for the rhenium of the boat where the person has been attached, [gu] thing can do your human same type. What' S of your hand? With me, it is that in me. It' The oyster which has 2 tickets to the s you love. Now, the diamond which is ticket sees for the second time! The spice where your person is old and like the woman who is not when smell does, it is possible with anything. I' M of horses.

[Sudo !nAoZUmIAfk No.]

>>6026676
Do you use chatzilla? Certain countries are banned, also.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026676
Some guy a few days ago told me it auto bans stuff like chatzilla and mibbit. Use mIRC if you want to go there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026696
>>6026697
I still don't get what's the fucking problem with Chatzilla.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026696
>>6026697
yeah, chatzilla.
I haven't been able to use mirc because 'unresolved server/host' problems.

[Anonymous No.]

You are good, madame, has a look at you the person, now returns to me, now supports in yours person, now returns to me. , He is not I sadly, but, if he stops the bodily wash which uses madame to hear, and changes into the old spice, he possibly smells, like he is I. Looks in where gets down, the backup, is you? You are a person's boat which possibly smells with yours person likes. Anything in yours hand, behind in me. I have it, it am with a two ticket loves oyster that matter which to you. Looks again, the ticket now is a diamond. When your person smells likely the old spice, but is not time madame, any is possible. I am in the horse.

[Sudo !nAoZUmIAfk No.]

>>6026708
http://rizon.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=15 Try any of those, you should be able to get on with one of them.

[Anonymous No.]

Woman bond, the lady, sees in your man who faces each other that etc., now now in your man who faces each other that etc., went back now. Is sad, he is not low price, but him in compliance with the lady the smell [coh] uses body washing and to discontinue converted the possibility in case, he sniff like that person him was to the spice which is old. Backup sees, ten:00 five, in where in lower part ten:00 your A five? You the like your man the possibility of sniff with the man who is are the boat which has. What which is in your hand, in me after. I it, your this is it is an oyster which has 2 chapter tickets in the loves. The now diamond which is a ticket see again. Anyone hangs or when spice and the lady where your man is old is not like sniff is possible. I am on end.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026696
inb4 he's a BR.

[Anonymous No.]

>in the kitchen getting a drink
>younger sister comes into the kitchen to get a glass of water
>she's completely naked
>we are the only two home
>she has no boyfriend girlfriend or any friends that live in the country
>she leans against the counter and asks if im hungry
>I say yes
>she spreads her legs
>asks if I want some roast beef
>she wants to fuck

[Anonymous No.]

This thread made me curious enough to try opening mIRC again, and apparently it's been so long since I've installed it that it won't even open properly anymore. Hahaha.

Thankfully, I don't care enough about it, as the thought of having conversations in real time terrifies me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026771
But then it didn't in the past?

[Sudo !nAoZUmIAfk No.]

>>6026771
If you open it again it'll work. I've been using mIRC for close to 11 years without paying for it.

[&ponpo＼（ ＾ヮ゜）＞ No.]

I went into the /jp/ IRC room and some OP with a girl name made a spelling mistake that I correct and then I got banned.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026755
That is fucking ridiculous, I thought /jp/ was above this bullshit of thinking that every single brazilian is a "heuheueh gib moni pls"-spouting idiot, like /v/ does.

Seriously, you guys disappoint me sometimes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026784
>>6026696
That's one of the bad things about #/jp/. I know most of BRs are a bunch of retards, but there are decent people among them. In fact, there are like 3 or 4 BRs who frequent this board from what I saw in certain threads and they don't seem to be like those stupid mongrels.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026781
It worked perfectly the last time I tried it, about one year ago I guess (obviously, it still had that message).

>>6026784
Nope, it's still closing after the two things telling me that I haven't registered it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026797
Meh, it's cool. I think at this point most of us are already fairly used to being treated like scum even though we try our best to be decent posters. If anything, now I hav to use isohunt and erogedownload instead of the bot to get my eroge fix.

>>6026796
If only you knew how /jp/ isn't over this, oh man.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026811
...And wow, am I reading it wrong or is the latest release for Irssi on Windows really from three years ago?

[Sudo !nAoZUmIAfk No.]

>>6026793
I know who you're talking about, most likely.
>>6026796
>>6026825
I'm an op, but I didn't make the ban and I don't undo other people's bans as a matter of courtesy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026811
And now it seems to have opened properly. What.

About the bans on Brazilian people... what, once again. I just got on the channel (if the one on Rizon is the correct one), and apparently I wasn't banned. euheuehue.

[Anonymous No.]

>Cute new girl from my class I'm dating, she's Brazilian
>She isnt that bad, doesnt smile much but has a nice ass and is very loving
>We go on dates to soccer games, movies, I go over to her place, realize Brazilians arent what /v/ stereotyped them as, she's rather sweet
>She wants to show me something on her PC
>We go to her PC, it's an old pentium 3 in a white case covered in mildew, dirt, dust and peeling stickers
>Horribly degaussed yellow 14" CRT starts up
>Takes 5 minutes to boot up, notice it's running Windows ME
>Finally loads, 4 more minutes while desktop loads
>Her screen is covered in shortcuts, Bonzai buddy and paperclip, notice multiple viruses are playing with the settings
>She opens up IE 4.0, suddenly 50 virus download tabs open from browser hijackers, she ignores them and starts to mutter "hue... hue... hue.. hue.."
>She loads up runescape and tibia, her friends begin spamming to her via Orkut
>She begins to laugh louder and bounce in her chair... "hue! hue! hue huehuehue"
>Limewire loads and begins installing more viruses as error messages begin popping up, she logs on to Tibia and starts spamming in corrupted Portuguese
>By now she's screaming, "HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE"
>She starts mashing keyboard, dirt and grime begin flying out of keys
>Her eyes become bloodshot, butt is bouncing, her teeth are showing and they're all yellow and some are missing
>Try to leave her apartment as the laughing becomes deafening
>Black out

[Anonymous No.]

>>6026877
I can assure you that this is the average brazilian experience. I would know, trust me.

[Anonymous No.]

I am enjoying some of these pastas and I need more fresh ones.