I've been wondering about this for a while now. What if M. Night Shamwow made a Touhou movie just as shitty as The Last Airbender? Or would that even be possible?

File: 85 KB, 600x600, patchythepedo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:35:55 2010 No.5591067 [Reply] [Original]

I've been wondering about this for a while now.
What if M. Night Shamwow made a Touhou movie just as shitty as The Last Airbender? Or would that even be possible?

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 01:36:55 2010 No.5591073 There would be an enormous TWEEEEEEEST in the end. ZUN wakes up and it's all a dream. BUT THERE IS A NAKED YUKARI ON TOP OF HIM OH SHIT >Credits

>>	Magical Index !MOONRXwPDU Thu Jul 8 01:37:55 2010 No.5591075 What if Micheal Bay directed touhou?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:37:55 2010 No.5591081 What if you fags stayed in /a/?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:38:55 2010 No.5591083 I just watched this a few hours ago. I don't think it's possible to make a movie shittier than that one. But, to be brutally honest, I wouldn't mind seeing an M. Night version of Gensokyo, no matter how much the movie itself may suck.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:40:55 2010 No.5591100 >>5591094 So it would be about EoSD or IN

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:40:55 2010 No.5591094 File: 114 KB, 374x468, akinator satori.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] None of the girls would be remotely Japanese. ...Oh wait.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 01:41:55 2010 No.5591103 >>5591075 >Marisa: TAKE THIS! LOVE SIGN, MASTER SPARK >Fucking Baysplosions. Baysplosions EVERYWHERE I'd watch that. I'd wear sunglasses to keep the Baysplosions from messing my eyes up, though.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:41:55 2010 No.5591106 >>5591075 An effect whore who only has to make a movie about explosions and pretty fireworks? There is no way it can go wrong.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:41:55 2010 No.5591107 Didn't see the movie, not sure if want. I don't feel like wasting money on a bad movie, nor do I feel like wasting time and bandwidth finding a bootleg if this movie sucks. Is it really as bad as everyone says it is?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:41:55 2010 No.5591108 I'm with >>5591083 I would just stick around to see how he illustrates the world. Then immediately leave the theatre.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:41:55 2010 No.5591113 >>5591067 I keep reading that book as Shokotan.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:42:55 2010 No.5591118 >>5591073 moe like a naked yukkuri

>>	Harblong Cassidy !KzfKdB2Xmc Thu Jul 8 01:43:55 2010 No.5591124 You've been wondering about this for a while? Anonymous, you card

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:44:55 2010 No.5591132 File: 1.88 MB, 300x171, hahahahahahawat.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591107 It's so bad that it's funny. Like a Bollywood movie.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:44:55 2010 No.5591130 >>5591118 >moe like a naked yukkuri >naked yukkuri >moe

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:45:55 2010 No.5591140 File: 1.28 MB, 300x171, silly.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] WHEE WHOO WHEEEE~

>>	Magical Index !MOONRXwPDU Thu Jul 8 01:47:55 2010 No.5591151 >>5591132 I don't know what is funnier, the dance number or the flying boulder.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 01:48:55 2010 No.5591159 Doug Liman should do Touhou. We'd get to see Gensokyo portrayed in the tense, spy-thriller lens of The Bourne Identity. Clive Owen and Matt Damon play Reimu and Marisa, respectively.

>>	Magical Index !MOONRXwPDU Thu Jul 8 01:49:55 2010 No.5591165 File: 403 KB, 800x1133, marisa cobra.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591159

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:50:55 2010 No.5591170 File: 2.35 MB, 300x171, ACTING.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] ............................

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:52:55 2010 No.5591186 >>5591103 >>5591106 These. A Touhou movie is Micheal Bay's wet dream.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:53:55 2010 No.5591195 File: 163 KB, 941x720, 1267739559986.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591094 >NO ASIANS.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:55:55 2010 No.5591213 File: 1.18 MB, 300x171, 1278431648081.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:55:55 2010 No.5591218 >>5591075 I'd watch the fuck out of that shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:56:55 2010 No.5591224 File: 89 KB, 600x714, 1271102062061.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591159 >>5591165

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 01:56:55 2010 No.5591221 >>5591165 >>5591159 The only thing Marisa, played by Damon, says is "MATT DAMON ZE~" over and over.

>>	Houraisan Kaguya !NEATnUrmu2 Thu Jul 8 01:56:55 2010 No.5591222 >>5591132 All that for one big rock?

>>	Bern !FAGetWqs1I Thu Jul 8 01:57:55 2010 No.5591228 >>5591186 He'd end up replacing all the cute little girls with traditional hot Hollywod model types. And he'd cast Megan Fox as Reimu.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:57:55 2010 No.5591231 >>5591222 Big? It's like the size of a basketball.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 01:58:55 2010 No.5591234 Harold and Kumar go to Gensokyo

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 01:59:55 2010 No.5591240 >>5591234 >Harold And Kumar Go To Gensokyo OH GOD I WOULD WATCH THIS SO HARD. They'd go around and smoke weed with all the Touhous, while getting into epic adventures while high.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:00:55 2010 No.5591251 Bill and Ted's Manipulative Adventure

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:00:55 2010 No.5591258 >>5591234 This is probably the best idea I've seen in months.

>>	Houraisan Kaguya !NEATnUrmu2 Thu Jul 8 02:00:55 2010 No.5591260 >>5591231 Earthbending is for fags anyways

>>	All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Jul 8 02:01:55 2010 No.5591266 >>5591234 Fund it

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:02:55 2010 No.5591272 File: 61 KB, 400x400, 1273561570103.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591228 >Megan Fox as Reimu

>>	Scandaroon Thu Jul 8 02:03:55 2010 No.5591279 >>5591272 Why is this picture of Mary posted so often? Is it a meme? Explain this to me.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:03:55 2010 No.5591286 >>5591260 You've been polluted with /co/'s logic, haven't you?

>>	Houraisan Kaguya !NEATnUrmu2 Thu Jul 8 02:06:55 2010 No.5591299 >>5591286 What? It just seems so wimpy compared to what the other ones could do.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:06:55 2010 No.5591302 File: 94 KB, 450x450, 1269432465773.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I wouldn't want ANYONE to make ANY sort of Touhou movie. We already have enough of a terrible fanbase as it is.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:12:55 2010 No.5591340 >M. Night oh god no >Michael Bay Tolerable. >Tim Burton FUUUUUUUUUUCK NO

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:12:55 2010 No.5591343 File: 230 KB, 473x688, 1265132262113.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I wouldn't mind seeing an IN movie, no matter how disastrous it was.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:13:55 2010 No.5591347 Can you imagine the sheer crushing wave of normalfags who would find the way here if a Touhou movie was released?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:13:55 2010 No.5591353 What if Quentin Tarantino (ry

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:14:55 2010 No.5591361 >>5591347 Nope.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:16:55 2010 No.5591379 >>5591353 It would be like Touhou Pulp Fiction. Complete with Reimu shooting Meiling while she's on the toilet after she got destracted by a magazine.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 02:16:55 2010 No.5591381 >>5591353 UMA THURMAN as MARISA KIRISAME LUCY LIU as REIMU HAKUREI They would go around slicing people to bits in particularly gory, bloody ways instead of danmaku and it would be awesome

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:17:55 2010 No.5591383 >>5591347 Not really.

Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:18:55 2010 No.5591397

>>5591353
He's probably the only one other than Bay who could take the Touhou canon and make something interesting out of it.

He'd make God tier dialog between any char...We wouldn't even have to see as much fighting as we would for Bayhou.

Also, it would mean that Samuel L. Jackson plays Marisa and I am fully in support of that.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:20:55 2010 No.5591415 >Tarantino ...Yeah right. >Bay FUCK YOU

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:21:55 2010 No.5591424 >>5591397 Sam Jackson as Eirin Yagokoro.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 02:21:55 2010 No.5591428 >>5591397 No, Sam would be Chen. John Travolta would be Ran.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:23:55 2010 No.5591445 File: 121 KB, 600x528, 7r0CWvHPRi_OWhJk54Gsbw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Okay, okay. Hold on. We need to establish which game they're gonna make a movie on.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:24:55 2010 No.5591449 >>5591445 The next one.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:25:55 2010 No.5591468 >>5591445 Mountain of Shit

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:25:55 2010 No.5591471 Shamalamadingdong can only make a good movie if he cast bruce willis in it. Bruce does not fit any touhous sadly.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:27:55 2010 No.5591487 >>5591471 Bruce Willis as Yuugi Hoshiguma

>>	Magical Index !MOONRXwPDU Thu Jul 8 02:28:55 2010 No.5591500 >>5591471 Bruce Willis can be Unzan.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 02:29:55 2010 No.5591509 >>5591500 >>5591487 Bruce Willis as everybody. The entire film has bruce willis as every character.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:30:55 2010 No.5591514 >>5591509 I'd prefer Foreman or Samuel Jackson.

>>	Necrobrotent Thu Jul 8 02:30:55 2010 No.5591518 >>5591509 I CAME WITH NO SIGN OF STOPPING

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:31:55 2010 No.5591529 File: 486 KB, 778x1151, 1267721645474.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591471 Bruce Willis would make a wonderful Mystia. Er, I mean, John McMystia.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:33:55 2010 No.5591547 File: 147 KB, 600x1753, 1267552578385.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591529 Now I can't stop imagining Bruce singing horribly.

>>	Necrobrotent Thu Jul 8 02:35:55 2010 No.5591567 >>5591547 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjEeY8fm1OY&feature=related His voice is that of an angel

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:37:55 2010 No.5591574 File: 326 KB, 999x867, 1260344487237.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I'm too lazy to shoop Sam Jackson's face on this

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:39:55 2010 No.5591589 >>5591567 GLORIOUS

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:41:55 2010 No.5591604 File: 43 KB, 391x594, christina-hendricks.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] kanako

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:43:55 2010 No.5591616 >>5591604 More like... ... ...Wait, actually, that's kinda good.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 02:44:55 2010 No.5591619 >>5591604 >MOUNTAINS OF FAITH

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:48:55 2010 No.5591646 File: 98 KB, 640x480, 8 I.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] DANMAKU WITH REAL BULLETS

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:51:55 2010 No.5591659 >>5591646 So, the Matrix?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:52:55 2010 No.5591661 File: 382 KB, 900x900, 1265388664199.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591646

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:53:55 2010 No.5591667 >>5591619 Thanks, Arcueid.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:54:55 2010 No.5591677 File: 525 KB, 750x600, fuji32363.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591075 Mokou gets more face time than any other Touhou?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:55:55 2010 No.5591684 >>5591677 She has toe thumbs?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:55:55 2010 No.5591683 File: 193 KB, 443x985, werecow.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Hurrrrr

>>	Magical Index !MOONRXwPDU Thu Jul 8 02:58:55 2010 No.5591695 File: 720 KB, 685x1000, 1261665007381.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591683 Looks like a clow card

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 02:58:55 2010 No.5591702 >>5591683 I this were a Tarantino film there would be a violent Caving scene with her.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Jul 8 03:01:55 2010 No.5591716 File: 45 KB, 451x450, black-knight.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Hey guys, what if these guys did a Touhou Movie

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:10:55 2010 No.5591796 File: 47 KB, 338x332, ben linus does not approve of your shit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591716

>>	Magical Index !MOONRXwPDU Thu Jul 8 03:11:55 2010 No.5591803 What if the Wachowski Brothers yadda yadda blah blah

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:25:55 2010 No.5591883 I image a Michael Bay Touhou movie would be somthing like this, only Live Action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2H8pL8gTXo http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm9480964

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:25:55 2010 No.5591884 Oh my.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:28:55 2010 No.5591896 Wait what? I enjoyed The Last Airbender.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:29:55 2010 No.5591899 >>5591884 GEORGE TAKEI AS EVERYONE

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:31:55 2010 No.5591911 I'll still play the game.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:42:55 2010 No.5591971 >>5591896 No you didn't.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:43:55 2010 No.5591975 >>5591899 helooooooooooooooooooooooooo >>5591896 dude you really do have autism

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:46:55 2010 No.5591988 JASON ISSACS IN BROWNFACE WONDERFUL THINKING, SHAMWOW

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 03:46:55 2010 No.5591991 I think ZUN should play every character, direct the movie, make all the costumes, compose all the music, and of course write the screenplay.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 04:51:55 2010 No.5592330 File: 47 KB, 249x238, 1273371219167.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5591991

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 05:06:55 2010 No.5592397 Tarantino likes old stuff, so it would probably be about the PC98 games. Think about it. You could get to see Mima slapping some bitches. Also close up on lolialice feet. Oh God...

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 07:16:55 2010 No.5592957 File: 174 KB, 654x709, 2cd2e511a269aaf93d2442748b0517f2[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Huge potential

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 07:27:55 2010 No.5593004 >>5591067 Wait a minute, I know that lettering. DAN KIM

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 07:32:55 2010 No.5593026 >>5592957 Swap Eirin/Kagya and Udonge/Tewi and we're set.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 07:48:55 2010 No.5593079 >>5591991 as long as he doesn't draw the movie poster or promotional stuff

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 07:55:55 2010 No.5593102 >>5591107 Imagine Star Wars Episode 1 with shittier acting. Now add in Star Wars Kid level martial arts.

Anonymous Thu Jul 8 08:12:55 2010 No.5593150

>M.Night directing a Touhou movie

Things to expect

-No Asians

-Mispronounced names

-There will be at least three Indian characters

-The characters he chooses to be Indian will make no sense

-Major details will be changed. Reimu gets donations,Suika isn't drunk etc etc..

-Terribad CG

-3D tacked on at that the last minute.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 13:59:55 2010 No.5594929 >>5593026 You missed the Mr.Tei joke. Sorry for the delay.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 8 14:00:55 2010 No.5594937 >>5593150 Since all Shaman films are the last airbender amiright?

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