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/jp/ - Otaku Culture


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5301762 No.5301762 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

Hi, /jp/. I know 90% of you will hate this thread because 3D pig disgusting, but I wondered if some of you bros might have questions for a real girl.

This isn't a camwhore thread, just a chance to talk to a non-2D girl for a little. In before rage, 3DPD and reports. I have a waifu just like you, we're really not so different.

>> No.5301770

Did you like Aika?

>> No.5301771

i'm a girl too~

>> No.5301775

What games are you playing these days?

>> No.5301777

I don't think the kind of wota who browses /jp/ has any interest in real girls.

>> No.5301781

I'm not reporting because of 2D vs 3D.

I'm reporting this thread because it is retarded. Have a nice day.

>> No.5301782

hmmm we are all girls here...
what brand of tampons do you use? or do you use menstrual pads?

>> No.5301783

I don't hate 3D. But I also have no questions for some random nerd.

>> No.5301784

Girls not the part of Otaku Culture. Fuck off.

>> No.5301788

wwww

You know the rage has nothing to do with 3d pig disgusting.

>> No.5301789

I am a girl, too. Ask me anything!

>> No.5301790

I am also a girl.

>> No.5301795
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5301795

How does it feel to know that everything grand and beautiful in this world was created by men?

>> No.5301796
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5301796

im a girl too

>> No.5301798

don't flatter yourself op. half the population is female; you're not special just because you happen to browse a primarily male-oriented board.

>> No.5301804

I am a girl.
I am also Polish

>> No.5301805
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5301805

>>5301782
>what brand of tampons do you use? or do you use menstrual pads?

fuck!, when I remember things as disgusting as those, I always have the feeling that our insides are full of nasty fluids.

FHASGJDAFSA MUST SHAKE OFF THE FEELING

>> No.5301806

I AM GIRL, 11, CALI!
COME GET ME

>> No.5301807

I'm a girl too

>> No.5301809 [DELETED] 

>>5301770
Sure. R.I.P.

>>5301775
Still working on <spoiler>HeartGold, was too busy during the school year to finish it.

>>5301782
<spoiler>Tampax Pearl.</spoiler>

>>5301784
Girls are otaku too, bro~

>>5301795
I'm not really worried about it.

>>5301798
I never said I was special, I just want to talk to /jp/ bros.

>> No.5301810

>>5301804
/jp/-Just Polish Girls

>> No.5301814

somehow i get the feeling that a good number of the people claiming to be girls are actually not :|a intriguing.

>> No.5301817

There are no girls on /jp/. None.

Only men. Wishing to be the little girl. This includes you, OP.

>> No.5301818
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5301818

>>5301795
But you need a woman to generate a man.

>> No.5301820

>>5301762
>Heart Gold
I see you have good taste. Please, carry on.

>> No.5301821

>>5301770
Sure. R.I.P.

>>5301775
Still working on HeartGold, was too busy during the school year to finish it.

>>5301782
Tampax Pearl.

>>5301784
Girls are otaku too, bro~

>>5301795
I'm not really worried about it.

>>5301798
I never said I was special, I just want to talk to /jp/ bros.

>> No.5301830
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5301830

hell yeah nigga

>> No.5301831

20 minutes ago a women called me

"You're retarded and boring. Come out with me and a bunch of douche bags who are obsessed over me"

What is her motive? I have no job/money. This was a women whom I haven't had a positive relationship with in over 5 years.

>> No.5301832

In your own opinion, would you agree that the theory that all women are naturally bisexual is true?

>> No.5301835

I do not hate 3D females.

It's just that I am highly disappointed with them and there rampant, slovenly, uncouth behavior these days.

"LOL IMMA GONNA POST PICTURES OF MYSELF NUDE ALL OVER MY FACEBOOK AND MYSPACE PAGES! I SWEAR I'M NOT A SHAMELESS WHORE!!!"

>> No.5301837

I'm also a girl. I pretend to be a manly badass dude who wants to be a little girl though. Shit you just made me break my character.

>> No.5301838

>>5301818
Europeans are dying out because women have forgotten their place - they're nothing more than birthing vessels.

>> No.5301839
File: 12 KB, 176x156, Sanaesmile.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5301839

><spoiler>

>> No.5301840

>>5301821
>Girls are otaku too, bro~

Hahahaha.

10/10, this is the best I've seen on /jp/ in awhile. Which is surprising, since the usual "HEY JAYPEE I'M A GIRL xD" trolls are pretty bad.

You give me hope for future trolling. You've brightened my day, just a little bit.

>> No.5301842

>>5301817
Actually, /jp/ only has little girls.

That's why we are so childish. I can see /jp/ers blush with their cheeks puffed out every time they see an /a/ thread on /jp/, because they secretly like their onee-sans on /a/ but don't want to admit it.

>> No.5301843

>>5301831
Sounds like an IRL Haruhi, bro. Put your Kyon face on.

>> No.5301849

<spoiler>reported

>> No.5301850

>>5301798
>>5301821
bullshit. you can talk to them without identifying yourself as female. starting a thread all about how you are a member of the ~majikal wimmenz race~ screams attention whore.

>> No.5301852

Nobody really cares.

Gender is only important if you make it so (and draw sole attention to it). It's not that difficult to set it aside and post just like any other poster, and the fact that you're making a big deal out of it just proves that you're an attention whore.

I mean, you didn't even say who your waifu is! You're clearly lying.

>> No.5301854

>>5301831
She wants to have sex with you.

Oh, who am I kidding. She probably needs some money or a ride or something.

>> No.5301858

>>5301762
sorry OP I don't believe you're these things that you say you are.

>> No.5301859

Can you leave 4chan please?

>> No.5301861

Who is your favorite Touhou?

>> No.5301865

>I just want to talk to /jp/ bros.
>Hay guise I'm a girl! XD

>> No.5301867

It must be hard to play touhou as a girl without being lesbian or at least bi... Well whatever, Rinnosuke is rather handsome anyway.

>> No.5301870

Is it me or are we getting some moderation? I saw 2 pages disappeared in a flash.

>> No.5301873

Why are you guys all being so mean to the poor troll?
I doubt "I'm a girl too" is the response he was looking for.

>> No.5301874

>>5301831
She sounds like a bitch. Also, girls a kind of crazy. She may just genuinely want to share in your company, though! But if she's saying mean things about you, be careful.

>>5301832
I think every human falls somewhere on a sexuality spectrum. Often women are more inclined to experiment with homosexuality, because there is not a stigma against it like there is for men. That doesn't mean some men don't have the same curiosities. This is why traps are so popular.

>>5301835
I don't like girls like that either. I have more respect for dignity. We're not all whores. Just a lot of us.

>>5301839
Shh, I just woke up.

>>5301859
Nope, been here for 6 years.

>> No.5301879

So I figure this thread is pretty useless anyway, so I might as well ask: I'm new to /jp/, and what's with all the sage? None of the other boards are anywhere close to this AFAIK.

>> No.5301880

>>5301854

No job or money.

She knows I have no job nor money, as when I have work I usually up spending a lot of time with the people. Sad really but I'll take any chance I can get. But when I'm w/o money I end up mooching off one of the guys. Biggest tools you'll meet.

>>5301843

...

Shit.

>> No.5301891

>>5301879
Because we know how to use it correctly?

Also, please leave.

>> No.5301893

>>5301861
Flandre!

>>5301879
/jp/ can be really cranky because most only care about their waifu and sage all else. I don't really know why either. I can only guess how many reports this thread has.

>> No.5301895

>>5301879
>http://archive.easymodo.net/jprules.php
Now go enlighten yourself.

>> No.5301897

What are you on /jp/ for? Touhou? Eroge? Japanese threads? Sekret klub board?

>> No.5301898

I once told a girl I was mildly interested in I was still a virgin at 21. She had asked me about my sex life (which I now realize is strange as she asked me this 2 minutes into a conversation. Kinda strange to be asking such a personal question when we had just met.)

She gave me a blanched look and told me, "See ya later." I asked what the problem was and she told me that I was still just an immature boy (funny as she was 19) and was probably even gay.

I have since disregarded 3D females and their apparent shallow ignorance. Hey, I thought a girl would be happy to know a guy that hasn't had 50+ sexual partners. Guess not.

>> No.5301906

WHAT A BOARD RELATED THREAD.

>> No.5301918
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5301918

>>5301893
Have you beaten her?

>> No.5301919

>>5301906
This is a thread inquiring into the mind and nature of the posters of /jp/.

That is certainly board related.

>> No.5301923
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5301923

>Look at me, I'm a girl! A real girl!

>> No.5301933

>She sounds like a bitch. Also, girls a kind of crazy. She may just genuinely want to share in your company, though! But if she's saying mean things about you, be careful.

Pretty much check on all points. I can't see why they would enjoy my conversation though. The most of em still act like they're in high school and do that crazy crap that I usually have no interest in.

Although they all say mean things about me, everyone does. Although I should probably go out, I haven't left the house in months

>> No.5301936

>>5301898
You shouldn't let some 19 year old kid bother you.

>> No.5301938

>>5301897
If I admitted this, my identity would be revealed as I've previously admitted to being a girl in the threads I frequent. Sorry! Aside from my main focus, I like a bit of everything here, though mostly I have a fascination with /jp/ dudes as a concept. You guys are interesting, even if you hate my 3DPD kind.

>>5301898
I'm sorry she was a bitch, bro. Though chances are if she asked you such a personal question immediately after meeting you, she was probably crazy anyway. Virgins are turn-offs to some girls, but not all of them! Some girls would be totally into that. Chances are, she was sexually inexperienced herself and would only want to be with a guy who knew what he was doing. Don't give up all hope, there are plenty of girls out there who wouldn't mind being with a guy who doesn't have any experience yet!

>> No.5301939

>>5301923
Reported for attention whoring, you whore.

>> No.5301940

>>5301923
What's with the toolbars, you tool?

>> No.5301945

>>5301874
>We're not all whores. Just a lot of us.

Exactly. And most of the ones who are not eventually turn into one. I somewhat do not blame them since society regularly shoves into both guys and girls faces that, "If you're not having sex 24/7 you are a fag (for guys) or a frigid uptight bitch (for girls)"

I also partly blame men who turn nice girls into slovenly whores and partly blame women for having the ignorance to go out with said guys that THEY KNOW will probably do this to them.

Meh, I enjoy being alone anyway.

>> No.5301951

>>5301919
Meta-threads are NOT board related.
Stop being such an idiot.

>> No.5301958
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5301958

>>5301762
>I have a waifu just like you, we're really not so different.
Is your waifu Akiha?
Your waifu better not be Akiha.

Akiha is mine.

>> No.5301963

>>5301919
I honestly can't tell if you're joking or just a retard.

>> No.5301965

>>5301958
You can keep Akiha, don't worry! You guys probably wouldn't like mai waifu anyway, she's a very mature woman...

>> No.5301968

>>5301965
So an old hag with rude tits, then?

>> No.5301969

>>5301938
>If I admitted this, my identity would be revealed as I've previously admitted to being a girl in the threads I frequent. Sorry!
that doesn't make a bit of fucking sense, I hope you realize it whether you're trolling or not

>> No.5301970

>>5301895
Wait, I'm supposed to be browsing in Firefox?

>> No.5301973

>>5301938
>>though mostly I have a fascination with /jp/ dudes as a concept.

Autistic manchildren moe?

>> No.5301976
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5301976

Q: why even bother making this thread in the first place?
I don't understand it's point.
also I went off women a long time ago as they're so demanding.

>> No.5301978
File: 11 KB, 387x75, Screen shot 2010-06-05 at 3.24.28 PM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5301978

You guys will be fine, I swear. It is just one thread.

>>5301969
It would make sense if you knew what threads I was talking about.

>>5301968
D..don't call her an old hag. ;_;

>> No.5301979

LOOK I'M A GIRL!

ATTENTION PLEASE!

Super reported.

>> No.5301981

>>5301938
>Don't give up all hope, there are plenty of girls out there who wouldn't mind being with a guy who doesn't have any experience yet!

While I do appreciate the tip and hope, even if this is another bizarre troll thread, I can say that I have come to the realization that-
1) I wouldn't make a good boyfriend anyhow. So I won't put some girl through that.
2) The reason for number one is because I greatly enjoy my own company than to others. I enjoy it to an almost admittedly unhealthy degree. (I talk to myself a lot)

Having a g/f would likely bore me and I would eventually break it off myself just to go back being by myself again.

>> No.5301983

>>5301973
ZUN!bar, that means she loves you and Sion.

>> No.5301984

>>5301973
Actually, that's pretty much dead-on. I'm not sure why I find the waifu-obsessed, thread-saging manchild behavior kind of moe, but I do.

>> No.5301985

>>5301976
What are you, dense?
Are you retarded or something?

>> No.5301990

>>5301938
>I have a fascination with /jp/ dudes as a concept. You guys are interesting, even if you hate my 3DPD kind.
To be fair, the 3DPD is only a loud minority.
You just don't hear so much about men who prefer 3D woman; it's the default.

>> No.5302004
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5302004

>>5301985
What are you, dense?
You're retarded or something?

>> No.5302007

OP, fuck off.
/jp/, you are pathetic.

>> No.5302008

>>5301981
If you're happier without a girlfriend, that's fine too! I feel like a lot of dudes here feel that way, and that's fine. I just think it's sad when people give up on trying to find love without good reason.

>>5301990
That's comforting, actually! The loud minority can be distracting.

>> No.5302014

>>5301983
Damn it, you know how I start hyperventilating when a real girl posts.

>> No.5302015
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5302015

>>5301965
>You can keep Akiha, don't worry! You guys probably wouldn't like mai waifu anyway, she's a very mature woman...
It isn't Yuyuko, is it? She's mai other waifu!

It better fucking not be Yuyuko!!

>> No.5302016

>>5302007
Meanie, we girls have feelings too you know ;_;

>> No.5302019

Reported.

>> No.5302020

useless maid

>> No.5302021

From your perspective, are women crazy? Like, to me, they seem to constantly be overreacting to small things and are generally emotionally unstable. I combine this with womens' unique situation that allows them to freely choose sexual partners who they will then leech off of forever, and I start to think that women aren't real human beings. Is that sentiment incorrect?

>> No.5302025

You probably are a lesbian so it doesn't count if you are a girl or not.

>> No.5302026

>>5302015
Get the fuck out summer new tripfriend, if you have more than one waifu, you don't actually love them at all. Waifu to you is just another cool thing to show off. Now please kindly get the fuck out.

>> No.5302027

saged, reported, and called the cops

>> No.5302031

>>5302026
>newfag doesn't understand the concept nor understands trolling

>> No.5302032

>>5301973
>Autistic manchildren moe?
>>5301984
>Actually, that's pretty much dead-on.
This thread would make an anthropologist giddy.

>> No.5302033
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5302033

>>5302015
...I don't think you guys will like her, but.. it's Misato ;_; I'm a nostalgiafag, I'm sorry.

>>5302021
I think that your perception of women is based off of generalizations and stereotypes fueled by the media and less so by extended personal interactions with women. That said, I don't disagree with you! A lot of women can be really high-maintenance and get upset about tiny stuff. Girls can also be very gossipy and catty. It can be really intimidating, not just for men but for more laid-back girls. I tend to surround myself with other girls who AREN'T catty and flighty, and I'm a lot happier that way. Catty bitches freak me out.

>> No.5302043

Report submitted! This window will close in 5 seconds...

>> No.5302049
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5302049

>>5302026
>Get the fuck out summer new tripfriend,
I've been here since pre-/jp/. I just don't tripfag as often because there aren't as many Tsukihime threads as there were.

Also, Akiha and Yuyuko are totally compatible.

>> No.5302051

heh...

So 3D lady, do you find most men repulsive? why not have a 2D mando.

>> No.5302063
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5302063

>> No.5302064

>>5302033
>...I don't think you guys will like her, but..
What, you're too good for Yuyuko? Is that what your saying?!

>> No.5302065
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5302065

There is only one girl allowed on /jp/ and it ISN'T YOU.

>> No.5302072

>>5302051
I'm into women.

That said, I don't find 3D or 2D men repulsive, they're just not mai taipu. I still enjoy the company of bros, though.

>> No.5302075

How many different men have you had sex with?

>> No.5302076

>>5302063
How would you classify this thread, if not as Otaku Culture?

>> No.5302077

>>5302065
But he isn't a

>> No.5302078

>>5302065
I thought it was established that people attracted to females didn't count, though.

>> No.5302087

>>5302076
"Miscellany that needs to go in /b/ or /r9k/ or /adv/"

>> No.5302088

>>5302072
That would make sense to me, if I was a girl I would do the same plus wear nice lolita clothing.

>> No.5302089

>>5302076
Random.

>> No.5302090

Are you a virgin if not all your opinions is invalid.

>> No.5302091

>>5302072
You don't count, you cant say you are a girl if you are a lesbian.

>> No.5302095

>>5302078
Chisame is just tsundere.

>> No.5302097

>>5302090
*are
I need some sleep.

>> No.5302098
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5302098

>>5302091

>> No.5302099

>>5302065
Oh Chisame ~

>> No.5302105

>Ask a girl anything
>Troll shit
>109 Replies

Seriously guys. After each day, I hate you more.

Now I will post 3DPD.

>> No.5302112

>Report submitted! This window will close in 5 seconds...

>Close

>> No.5302115

WHERE DO U LIVE LOL

>> No.5302116

>>5302105
I can tell by the pixels and having seen some vaginas in my time...

>> No.5302123

>>5302115
10 Downing Street
Westminster, London SW1A 2

>> No.5302128 [DELETED] 
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5302128

>> No.5302129

>>5302123
OH FUCK HOW DID YO FIND THAT

>> No.5302130

holy shit this thread is still here?

>> No.5302140 [DELETED] 
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5302140

>> No.5302142

Tits+date or GTFO

>> No.5302147

>>5302105
>Seriously guys. After each day, I hate you more.
If you hate us so much, why do you keep coming back?
...no, I'm sorry, Anon, I shouldn't have said that.
Hey, I said I'm sorry, alright? So quit crying like that!

Actually, Anon, to tell the truth...
I think I really like you, too.

>> No.5302154

>>5302129
I hacked your Internet while you wasn't looking.

>> No.5302158 [DELETED] 
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5302158

>>5302147
Thank you anon. I love you too. Please accept this hairy-pussy 3DPD as a sign of friendship.

>> No.5302159

And the /b/tard who previously posted CP revealed himself again.

>> No.5302165

>>5302147
/jp/ - Tsundere.

Though by that logic I could argue that you guys secretly like me, too. It's okay, /jp/, you don't have to be so mean anymore! I understand. Wanna.. go see a movie together?

>> No.5302173

I am the trip of my post
suigining is my body meta is my blood
I have derailed over a thousand threads
unknown to maids nor known to mods
have withstood flames to spam many threads
yet these hands will never type anything
so as i pray
unlimited suigin works

>> No.5302180

The thing is, somebody is deleting my 3DPD posts. Very well.

But why don't you delete the whole thread instead?

You deleted before a flockdraw thread I made, but you don't delete this shit?

You really deserve the worst.

>> No.5302181

This thread is making it hard to take it easy. Even while hidden I still know what's lurking beneath.

>> No.5302182 [DELETED] 

FACT: NEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THE SUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKING PEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS' LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORE SKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAIN BIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGE BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY'RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED "GOOD SCHOOL" IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONAL GOVERNMENTIAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC "DEEP" FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUEMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN'T GO UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.

>> No.5302186

>>5302173
Yet Haruhi1994 got banned for sigs.

>> No.5302191

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

>> No.5302195
File: 22 KB, 228x180, 1266258619365.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302195

>>5302182
>implying that there was such a thing called the internet when I was 12 years of age.

>> No.5302199
File: 24 KB, 504x300, 1255902280446.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302199

>>5302165
Seriously, what's the point of this thread? You know you'd receive a shitfest if you posted this, don't you have any common sense?

>> No.5302202

Attention 4chan!

I recently came upon 4chan when a friend recommended I visit the sites for a few laughs. I figured "What the hell? I could use some laughs." I must say that when I came on I was disgusted and not amused at all. Why you ask? Because everything on this entire site is literally shit! I mean yes there is funny pictures posted every now and then. But honestly; Do any of you little shits have a life? I mean are you so immature and unintelligent that you find things like cartoon porn and random naked woman shaking their boobs funny?

GROW UP! Grow up 4chan. You all seriously need a reality check, You could be doing so many things in the day, yet you all choose to sit around on your fucking fat ugly asses and post pictures and then make sarcastic or idiotic comments like "tits or gtfo" and "o rly?".

Get off you fat asses and do something better with your life. I mean all of you have no life, no social life either for that matter. The supposed "girls" that come on here and converse with you are just as much losers are you, they are either fatter then fatty-tan or a term you'd better understand "A trap".

Well I've put in my two cents, and on a last note, I will do everything in my power to expose this site to people who will react legally upon this disgusting filthy site. This is not the end. It's just beginning. Grow up!

-DG

>> No.5302203

>>5302165
Sure! Is it OK if we go to an evening show?
There are usually less other people at night and this is good since I sometimes hyperventilate in crowds.

>> No.5302205
File: 70 KB, 762x574, homer reported1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302205

>> No.5302211

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.

>> No.5302215
File: 126 KB, 590x480, zebrafuckingdonkey.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302215

>> No.5302218

>>5302199
I dunno about you, I'm having fun! This is pretty much exactly what I expected and anticipated, it's really interesting to me.

>>5302203
Whatever you want, anon! But the afternoon matinee showings are pretty quiet too, you know. And the tickets are cheaper.

Can we share a bag of popcorn?

>> No.5302226

>>5302147
>>5302165
I love you /jp/~

>> No.5302227

HI,

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

>> No.5302234

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

>> No.5302240

Suigin, your butt is totally hurt.

>> No.5302243

Dear /b/,

I really need your help on this one.

My wife had breast cancer and she went for, what I thought, a removal of said cancer. However, when she came back and showed me the result the doctor had COMPLETELY REMOVED HER LEFT TIT. She asked me what I thought and my first response was: "It's horrible!" She cried and got angry, so I tried to explain it to her best I could I said "look honey remember when that one speaker of your car stereo was busted? You hated having to listen to only one speaker!" She continued crying and so I got mad and called her doctor to ask him what the fuck was wrong with him cutting off her complete left tit like that. I said: "Look pal maybe you buy your wife new tits every year but to me that's at least 9 months of salary!" to top things off her nipple is gone! They just threw away the tit AND the nipple. So even if I WOULD buy her a new left tit the nipple is god damned gone, now how in the hell is that supposed to make sense?! One tit minus a nipple. I told the doctor he owes me a new tit and a new nipple and slammed the phone on the hook. I god damned loved that tit.

Can I sue this doctor for a new tit?

>> No.5302250

A series of Joker style murders wreak havoc in Gotham. However to make things weirder the Joker has died in Prison, Eaten by his cannibal cellmate Killer Croc. Croc claims Joker was already dead when he ate him. That some chick calling him "puddin" just dropped the corpse in his cell. Forensics on the bones show he died of blunt trauma from a crowbar. Bruce is doing all he can to find out if Joker is really dead and how, including dating his gifted young psychiatrist Harleen Quinzel. A renowned doctor who understands even the most bizarre residents of Arkham. She even claims to know what the joker was always laughing about when he killed people. What he found so funny.

Meanwhile an smart mouthed orphan of the Joker murders named Jason Todd begins trailing the wanted Batman trying to assist. When he is caught by police in a Robin Hood outfit he claims he is Batman and was just trying to vary his outfit to avoid capture. Harley tells Wayne the boy isn't the real batman, she believes he did this to get into Arkham and find information himself on who the real murderer is. Unbeknowst to them both the terrified autistic cellmate of Todd claims he doesn't know the Joker's killer, but Mr. Scarface does. Referring to a doll Dr. Quinzell smashed with a crowbar in a therapy session.

As our masked detective tries to use this opportunity to find more clues beginning to wonder if the Joker is really dead, or if it's some sort of copycat, Todd escapes his cell and begins to search desperately for the remains of the Scarface dummy in Harley's office. Rummaging desperately until he sees a shadow from behind him, of a woman in a jester's hat holding a crowbar, raising it above her head and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it have dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah forget it, "yo Holmes, to Belair" I looked at my kingdom i was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Belair.

>> No.5302255

>>5302218
So you're just going to blatantly admit you like to troll. Why don't you go on /a/, you'd receive a much more open invitation to your personality.

>> No.5302259

>>5302218
>Can we share a bag of popcorn?
I don't mean to seems rude, but I prefer not to eat food that someone else has touched.

Similarly, I will be wearing rubber gloves throughout the evening, to keep my hands clean. I sometimes get a little fidgetty if my hands get dirty.

I hope none of this bothers you.

>> No.5302262

>>5302234
My fav copypasta so far.

>> No.5302267

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! did you leave the lists alone?
Chorus:
Oh No. It's just a pure LISP function call.

We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! did you leave that source alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no side-effecting
We don't need no flow control
No global variables for execution
Hey! did you leave the args alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special-nodes
No dark bit-flipping for debugging
Hey! did you leave those bits alone?
(Chorus)
-- "Another Glitch in the Call", a la Pink Floyd

>> No.5302268

.>>5302243
>Dear /b/,
reported

>> No.5302278

After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me.

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

>> No.5302279

Jesus, Suigen, if you hate this thread so much why don't you just stop reading it?

>> No.5302286

>>5302255
I'm posting for the sake of posting, not posting for the sake of trolling. You seem to misunderstand.

Also there are plenty of girls on /a/, so the novelty of talking to guys who never talk to girls is not as appealing.

>>5302259
It only makes you more moe. <3

>> No.5302289

I am Chinese man and very happy. We taking all your money U.S.A. Ha Ha Ha. Soon you will all work for Chinese man. Ha Ha Ha. We make everything, you make nothing. Ha Ha Ha. Soon you are third world county like Mexico. Ha Ha Ha. We will be buying your country cheap. Ha Ha Ha. We make friends with Muslims and will get more of the oil so you have little. Ha Ha Ha. You have stupid politicians. Ha Ha Ha. Soon you will all be very poor. Ha Ha Ha. Soon you all be dead.

>> No.5302291

>>5302262
it's true, dude. in real life the fact that you're a girl is essential because it's obvious to everyone who meets you, but the internet is not like that. whether you're male or female, ten or twenty, thin or fat, cute or ugly, nobody can tell and nobody cares until you make it an issue. you're trying to shove irl into the internet, and IT'S NOT WORKING. go home, do not pass go, do not collect $200, etc.

>> No.5302298

When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to use a diaper. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

>> No.5302305

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

>> No.5302309

>>5302291
>>it's not working
>>151 posts
... Okay.

>> No.5302314

I am a computer programmer, which means I'm fat, nerdy, and have a tiny cock. I got AIDS from paying a cheap whore to fuck me, since I have no love in my life.
When the doctor told me, I went to the only thing I knew -- SICP.
I slammed my penis between two copies of SICP. It swelled up to twice normal size and fell off. I was worried.
I woke up the next day with incredible abs, a 14" rod of steel, and no HIV. I'm now an adult movie star, banging porn stars.
Thank you, SICP!

>> No.5302315 [SPOILER] 
File: 19 KB, 488x367, 1275768470034.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.5302318
File: 7 KB, 509x128, reported2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302318

I have reported this thread atleast four times yet it keeps going undeleted. What gives?

>> No.5302324

Dear /b/, the worst thing has happened just yesterday.

I was sitting there in front of my PC, pants down, fapping to one of the hottest hentai pic I could've ever found on my hard disk, when my mother walked in.

Normally, I would've just tried to hide my erection by pulling my pants back up and pretending to do something else, preferably the least suspicious possible, but not then.

As I was nearing the end of my masturbatory session and couldn't hold it back anymore, I closed my eyes and let myself overwhelm to the orgasm just at the same moment she opened that damned door. I knew I should've locked it, but I believed nobody would've ever bothered entering without asking beforehand.

Thus, being unable to see anything for all the time I enjoyed the, let's say, "warm feeling", I couldn't have noticed she was here since the beginning.

So, yeah, my mother saw me ejaculating till the last drop of semen, and in the lewdest way possible, even.

It was only when I was finally done and did a swift peek to see if I had done any mess on the floor, that I realized her presence.

My heart went right down my stomach at her sight: she was just standing there, staring at me with dismay, then left the room without saying anything. I'm not lying if I admit that, then as now, I just wanted to die due to the huge embarrassment that followed.

>> No.5302325

No 3DPG?
OK. I'll be realistic then.

OMG IT'S A REAL LIVE GIRL.
Why the fuck do I care?
Why would I need or want to ask a girl questions, simply because they're one of a group of people that populate 50% of the entire world?
The fuck makes you special?

>> No.5302326 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 
File: 31 KB, 487x730, 1256568861699.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>>5302318
I want this shit deleted right now.

>> No.5302334

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking threads about rape! RAPE IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /b/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT RAPE! Rape DESTROYS a woman, it STRIPS HER OF HUMANITY! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. RAPE IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /b/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN'S WOMANHOOD BEING VIOLATED!

And no, I am not some lesbian dyke cunt, I am a woman. I was raped. My virginity taken from me, I can never give it to a man I love. I was raped again and again and again and again and again by a random stranger when I was 15, And between you and me something amazing happened...and now I can talk to animals! Its really cool! But totally a secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.

>> No.5302336

>>5302318
Because only 1 report per IP. And the janitor is probably laughing at you guys being mad right now. He just wants to spite us.

>> No.5302343

the only good part of this thread is suigin's copypasta.

>> No.5302346
File: 5 KB, 511x127, reported.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302346

>>5302326
Stop posting spoilers then.

>> No.5302347 [DELETED] 

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

>> No.5302351 [DELETED] 

IF U WERE FLAMED FOR USING LISP TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR SUICIDE CUZ ID B N DAT CUNTS HOUSE N SHOVE SICP DOWN HIS THROAT!
//`'''```,
o // LISP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co
WE TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIES
WE READ SICP TOGETHER
WE COUNT PARENTHESES TOGETHER
send this SUAVE SPACE TOAD to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 6001 your A TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIE

>> No.5302353 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 
File: 103 KB, 1024x603, 1266927302439.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302353

>>5302336
What you call "janitors" sure wants the shitties board on all the internet.

Hey, if they want me to make this site even shittier, they only have to tell me.

>> No.5302356 [DELETED] 

ahhhhh

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

>> No.5302362 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 
File: 113 KB, 1463x973, 1273206512291.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.5302364 [DELETED] 

My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

>> No.5302370 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 
File: 200 KB, 1273x905, 1273215479149.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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>> No.5302372 [DELETED] 

Open the door get on the floor

guys, you'll never believe what just happened no less than 15 minutes ago. so my sister and her boyfriend came home while i was watching TV and they went into the kitchen to get some drinks. while in the kitchen they were doing their whole lovey dovey thing and kissing and playing grab-ass and what not, and it was unappealing to me, so i went up to my room. a few minutes later, i heard them enter into my sister's room and then some rustling occurred. i thought nothing of it, they were probably just making out again on her bed. then i heard her scream and i got worried so i ran over to her room, and opened the door, got on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! open to door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! BOOM BOOM ACKLAKKALAKKA BOOM BOOM BOOM ACKLAKKALAKKA BOOM!

>> No.5302373

Ah, /jp/, you wacky bunch.

>> No.5302386 [DELETED] 

Hey, /b/...

Ok, I generally wouldn't ask for advice here, and definitely won't ask anything involving my love life, but this advice involves me needing fucked-up advice, and, hey, where better than /b/?

Ok, so, I'm in high school. Our story starts off right after winter break. I had gotten shitloads of cash from Christmas, and had forgotten to take it out of my wallet after we'd gone shopping. So, I'm at school, carrying almost $300 in my pocket without even realizing it, and I drop my wallet in the locker room after PE. An hour or so later, when I reach down and feel no wallet in my pocket, I panic, and retrace my steps, finding my empty fucking wallet stashed in a broken wallet, money taken. I take this up with the principal, which was a fucking mistake; he proceeds to call people up to his office, one at a time, informing the entire school (including whoever stole my cash). So, for about 3 and a half months now, I've been contemplating what I'd do to the fucker who stole my money. I'd been reading Fight Club (the book the movie is based on) when this first happened, so I was pretty certain on how little human life is worth, and that made me think of all kinds of fucked up things to do if I ever found out WHO.

Guess what, /b/?

The fucking idiot bragged to one of his friends the other day, and that friend told me. This has been said a lot, but now it is meant to its full extent, I think: do your worst, /b/.

Oh, tools I have at my disposal:

An old bottle of syrup of ipecac, which would seem useless, but it's ferment to the point of being lethal.

A few mercury thermometers, which could be snuck into a drink to make him deedidee for the rest of his life.

I live in the country. Disposing of a body = no problemo.

I can make plastic explosives.

>> No.5302389

>>5302309
in those 150 posts, how much actual conversation have you gotten out of /jp/? copypasta and porn spam doesn't count as conversation, love.

>> No.5302391

>>5302336
I report, then a few minutes later I click report again I'm able to report again. Like the report is being viewed and the janitor is deciding to keep it up.

>> No.5302394 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 
File: 1.53 MB, 1900x2200, 1274476609398.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302394

I am posting 3DPD until this shitty thread gets deleted.

It can't be that my flockdraw thread got deleted but not this shit.

MOOOOOOOOOT!!! I am going to hangh you in a very high place from your balls!

>> No.5302400 [DELETED] 

Put a pillow under ya knees and keep ya jaws in,
All in your girl's mouth, use her like a toilet,
They usably want a baller and the young nigga ballin'

Put a pillow under ya knees and keep ya jaws in,
All in your girl's mouth, use her like a toilet,
They usably want a baller and the young nigga ballin'

Put a pillow under ya knees and keep ya jaws in,
All in your girl's mouth, use her like a toilet,
They usably want a baller and the young nigga ballin'

Put a pillow under ya knees and keep ya jaws in,
All in your girl's mouth, use her like a toilet,
They usably want a baller and the young nigga ballin'

Put a pillow under ya knees and keep ya jaws in,
All in your girl's mouth, use her like a toilet,
They usably want a baller and the young nigga ballin'

Put a pillow under ya knees and keep ya jaws in,
All in your girl's mouth, use her like a toilet,
They usably want a baller and the young nigga ballin'

>> No.5302403 [DELETED] 

The following is a tale depicting the events during which my life was completely changed in all aspects. I shall only be a few minutes, so if you will please, have a seat, and I will relate to you the story of how I became known as the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

It was on the western edge of the town of Philidelphia, Pennsylvania where I spent my childhood and adolescence, raised by my mother. I spent my days relaxing and enjoying wonderful leisure activity, usually by partaking in games of basketball just outside the school which I attended. One day, a couple of gentlemen, acting very suspicious and resentful of my playfulness, began to start some conflict with me. It was only one trivial brawl which I suffered through, but my mother indeed became rather worried. She told me when I returned to my home that I would be moving with my aunt and uncle in the town of Bel-Air, California.

I signaled for a taxi cab to pick me up, and when one arrived at the airport which I had just landed at, despite my decision to omit that part of my story, I became aware that the liscense plate affixed to its rear bumper had the word "FRESH" printed on it, and that there were couple of fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror inside the cab. I thought to myself that this taxi sure was a rare breed, but shook these thoughts from my head to return to the task at hand. I told the driver of the taxi to take me to Bel-Air. At around seven or eight o'clock that evening, and I jokingly commented to the driver that I would probably have to smell the inside of his taxi again at a later time. I then took a good look at my newfound kingdom at which I had just arrived. Indeed, I was at last there and I was prepared to sit on my new throne, to be dubbed the Prince of Bel-Air.

>> No.5302406
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5302406

Sorry, I forgot to spoil it!

>> No.5302409

>This isn't a camwhore thread
yes it is

>> No.5302410
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5302410

>>5302394
I'll help you by using a proxy and reporting this thread multiple times.

>> No.5302412 [DELETED] 

Gentlemen, I just entered my aviary, within which I own two pink necklaceatiels, these birds are scared to hell of me and will go nuts when I am inside. I began scaring them, making them fly over the small aviary, eventually I picked one and made sure he never had any rest in between fear-flights. Once he was tired, I began to corner him, I grabbed ahold of him, he began biting and clawing at me, I threw him onto the ground, and kicked him. I did not expect him to be alive after this, but he was very much so - and still quite feisty, but unable to really fly now. I pulled down my pants and got on my knees, I began masturbating with my left hand, while I had the bird in my right hand. I was holding onto him by his tail feathers, keeping him upside-down, whenever he would attempt to fly away, I would whack him against the wired wall of the aviary. Eventually his tail feathers fell off, he fell to the ground - he made no attempt to escape. I latched onto him, he began biting me. Whenever he would try to chew on me, I would cease masturbating and flick him in the head and mildly tighten my grip. Two minutes pass and the bird's eyes start to close, his head is tilting whichever way gravity wishes, no longer shaking in fear at what is happening to him. Soon after, the bird is dead. While it was not my intention to kill him, I was pleased at this moment, as it gave me the opportunity to cum on his face, which I would not have attempted to do so easily while he was alive and attempting to bite anything he could. I get up, my legs and pants are covered in birdseed and feathers, I leave them off, knowing I'll need to clean up. I throw the corpse at the second bird as I leave the aviary. It has been about half an hour, that second bird has not moved an inch since I left; it is very possible that he will die of pure stress.

>> No.5302417

>>5302391
Oh what do you know, me too.

Awesome work Janitor A+++, would browse again.

>> No.5302418 [DELETED] 

Hi /b/.......Im new here. >_>;;

I was wondering if any of u knew how 2 register here........I dont see any place where i can log in. Also, why when u post, your post disappears from the list of posts? Why cant it just go directly to your post. Well anyway i wanted to show u guys some funny pics.....

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Lisa\My Documents\My Pictures\sleepy_cat.jpg[/img]

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Lisa\My Documents\My Pictures\woops1.gif[/img]

i hope u guys enjoy them....also, please welcome me to /b/, i hope you are all friendly and treat me well. :D

First let me introduce myself......my fav animes are Naruto InuYasha and Bleach, and i like listening to music (my favorite bands are Fallout Boy and Pink floyd, my favorite song is We Dont Need No Education by Pink Floyd). also, the power level is OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD madnes??? THIS IS

[color=red]SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!![/color]

also, how cum (lol cum) you have to attach a pic? how ghey is that? :p here's a funny pic i found the other day when i was surfing the internet. :cool:

>> No.5302420

>>5302286
>It only makes you more moe.
I'm glad to hear that! Usually people get put off when they learn about my habits, and the fact that I can't look them in the eye, and that I never speak above a whisper.

Maybe after the show you could come back to my place for a bit? I could show you my statuettes of famous amputees collection!

We'll have to be real quiet, though. The last time I brought a girl over my mom hit me a few times with a stick and it ended up breaking my leg. Mom's great, but she's a little kookie sometimes.

That happened way back when I was only 13-years-old, however. Mom's really cooled down since then. Now days she hardly gets out of her rocking chair. Why, she's gotten so lazy that she hasn't even bother to come down for dinner for the last for months.

Parents, right? lol

>> No.5302421
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5302421

>Janitor deletes obscene images
>Janitor doesnt delete this thread.

>> No.5302423
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5302423

>> No.5302424 [DELETED] 

Ok /b/ so here is the situation

I have been keeping and saving any and all spiders I find running around my house. I keep them alive in little tuba wear containers and drop in crickets or whatever random feeder bugs I find at the local petsmart. Anyway,

I recently have erected a spider battle arena out of cardboard and sugar cubes. I have about 22 spiders in surplus and plan to make them do one on one combat in a tournament of epic proportions. The loser is devoured by the winner and the winner becomes stronger. He then lives on to do battle against the next opponent. Whichever spider is left standing after the other 21 have died will go on to the final round. There is a prey mantis I bought at the vivarium named Charley. The final spider gladiator will do battle with Charley the mantis. If the spider actually manages to beat Charley he will be declared the king of spider land and flushed down the toilet afterwards.

>> No.5302430

>>5302421
OP is Janitor.

>> No.5302434
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5302434

Even if I can only decrease the lifespan of this post by the smallest of measurements, it is worth every effort of my being to rid us of the presence of this thread.

>> No.5302436 [DELETED] 

By: Officer Hutson Officer Hutson of the US Police (California) here. You know what, you think you're so funny with the whole Ashley Disdale shit you guys have going on? Yeah, try talk explaining this stuff to my 8 year old daughter. I know what it's like to be your age. I was there. Smoking pot, getting drunk, and throwing pranks on frats next-door. A real laugh. But one day you are going to wake up in a face full of puke, shit, piss, and seaman like I did and realize that you're just pissing your life away doing what? Nothing.

I came home to my daughter bawling and didn't understand why there were naughty pictures of her role model as well as completely disfigured and rotted corpses slewn across her favorite websites. Are you dicks proud of yourself? Are you? If I was there right now I'd curb-stomp your faces in, but thankfully the government should be doing that for me soon enough with all this net protection stuff they're doing. I just sure hope McCain gets elected so we can try to get more control on this internet.

I really hope this will eat you guys up one day when you finally wake up and realize what life is really about. Until then- Fuck you.

P.S. - I saw the HIV shit you guys were trying to pull. That's how I found you guys. I hope you enjoy the one or two sites it got on. Not even Wikipedia accepted your shit.

>> No.5302442 [DELETED] 

OK so its really late, like 5:45~ and i didn't plan on fapping tonight because i was just going to play some tf2 and record some demos etc, and then go to sleep, and i see this thing about Zach Roloff dying etc so i stay on /b/, and then i see this thread. the borderline CP pic thread that just got 404d.

now, i normally lock my door when i fap, whoever is trying to open my door probably knows what I'm doing but for the sake of decency nobody says anything, just, what are you doing? oh i forgot i locked the door sorry. yea I'm going to bed soon. OK goodnight.

anyways, i have my hands down my pants reading these threads and i start to get a boner. so I get into the fapping mood and pull my dick out and lube it up with some good ol' spit. before long i stop and think holy shit, what am i doing? if i cum right now what am i going to clean it up with? gotta get some toilet paper. so i get up and get some toilet paper from my bathroom. dick is still slightly hard so i get back and f5, start fapping to new pictures.

and then, my little sister from behind me. i forgot to lock my bathroom door. holy shit. my bathroom is connected to my room, and also leads out into a small hallway with another bedroom (my 11y/o sister)

im fapping furiously and looking at borderline CP and my 11 year old sister has caught me. "what are you doing?" has she seen my dick? does she even know what fapping is? go to sleep Sarah its 5am "what are you doing?" again. she comes around and looks, and that's where i fucked up again. i didn't even bother to cover my dick. almost like i wanted her to see it, i wanted her to discover my cock and be curious and a little aroused, but she wasn't. she gasped and almost screamed, and i instantly regretted not pulling my pants up. i told her to go to sleep and she just left the room.

i think i hear my parents talking, but im not sure. im hoping that she just falls asleep and dismisses this as a terrible dream...

what do i do...

>> No.5302447
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5302447

>+ 161 posts and 27 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

>> No.5302448

Miss !6ZMm4BOpR., I would just like to say I'm sorry that trolls like Suigin felt the need to ruin your thread, and wish you good luck with future posting. Keep up the good work.

>> No.5302449
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5302449

>>5302420
You really sound like my perfect guy!

So idk why some things are getting deleted and my thread is still here. Tsundere mods? Your guess is as good as mine, bros.

Anyway, it was lovely chatting with you all, I'm sorry I made you so incredibly cranky! I know you don't really mean to be so mean, you just don't know how to act otherwise. It's okay, I still like you anyway. I think I'll let you guys get back to your regularly scheduled waifuing, now, as this is getting quite confusing to keep up with.

I hope you all have lovely days, wotabros. <3 I'll still be here, posting in your threads, looking at your waifus. It's been fun!

>> No.5302452 [DELETED] 

in all seriousness.
all complete seriousness, as in: no more memes or witty comebacks.
all of that shit aside, completely serious right now.
if I had a gun with one bullet, and you were standing in front of me.
but next to you, was Hitler, alive again and ready to kill another 7 million or so Jews.
Honestly, I would shoot you. I really would. Why you're even on /b/ is something I really would like to know. I want to know how you managed to stumble into this place, and who told you about this secret place of the internet.

Honestly, you're the sole reason /b/ is full of fail nowadays. It would give me great pleasure to know that before I left, I could at least convince one idiot to leave this place for those with a positive IQ.

So please, in all seriousness, just leave this place and never return

>> No.5302457
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5302457

>>5302448
Aww, thanks, bro! The fact that Suigin has felt it necessary to troll my thread has made me realize that I am unintentionally a better troll than he could hope to be. So it's okay!

>> No.5302459 [DELETED] 

Sup /b/

so there's this rather tasty girl at my college, sadly she has autism, she's not really high on the spectrum, she's just a bit odd and slow maybe.

but yeh she really likes me because I quite often help her with course work.

so anyway we had a rather late valentines day do last week (hall was closed so we had to find and book a venue) and she turned up looking really smart, but you could easily see her curves, she looked absolutely stunning.

well she came and spoke to me and i got her a few drinks, she was really funny actually, by the time I'd had a few i couldn't even remember or notice she had autism.

well it got to like 1am and we left, rather drunk, and she asked to stay at mine, I thought It wouldn't do any harm I wouldn't do anything.so we got a taxi to mine.

we got in, took our jackets and shoes off, and collapsed on the couch, we were lying right next to each other, she spun round and rested her hand on my chest, and started stroking it.

I didn't know what to do! 5 seconds later I decided to go for it.

I ran my hands down her side, across her stomach and down her panties. It was wet and felt amazing. she was so tight I even had to start with my pinky.

I slowly stroked her clit then pushed my finger deep inside (inside) What kind of Pokemon are you? Are you loyal through and through? Do you have a heart that's true? What kind of Pokemon are you?

Take your NORMAL type like Jigglypuff Against the GHOSTLY Gengar the battle's real tough Thunderbolt's a great ELECTRIC attack 'Til you get GROUND down by a Marowak

>> No.5302464

Why the fuck would you delete replies but not this shitty offtopic thread. Stupid fucking janitor.

>> No.5302466
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5302466

>>5302452

>> No.5302471 [DELETED] 

I, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY SHIT IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS GODDAMN KABOOM. THIS SHIT COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR DICK, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. FUCK.

IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS FUCKING KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS.

SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU

THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529 THAT'S ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE TWO NINE

CALL NAO!

>> No.5302472
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5302472

It carries out and is w

>> No.5302479 [DELETED] 

Okay, I'm going to end every Elfen Lied thread ever.
First, its pronounced Elfen Leed, as in rhymes with "Reed".

Secondly, it has essentially no comprehensible storyline, ancient horned savants whose horns look like cat ears are awakened by a mad scientist, and intend to destroy the world.
Except the protagonist doesn't even try to stop them. So they basically do.

Before that, though, it tons of unnecesary gore, and poorly delivered fanservice. In fact, the fanservice is basically the only reason to read the manga. Don't ever, ever, ever watch the anime, as they took out or changed all the best fanservice scenes, and as I previously stated, this is the only reason to read the mango.
There is indeed a scene in which one of the love interests is on the protagonist's lap "Because it's cold and rainy outside," and whilst the protagonist settles into position, the girl slides down his leg and is stimulated. After this, she for some reason NEEDS to take off her wet panties just then, so she bids the protagonist to turn around, who of course turns back around only to see the girl fallen over accidentally, spread open. At that same moment, the other members of the harem arrive, wonders ensue, etc etc.

Rinse and repeat this harem fanservice cycle about 400 times with a shitty contrived 2-D storyline and needless gore. If this sounds awesome, then read the mango. If this sounds like a terrible waste of time, then skip on by.

>> No.5302480 [DELETED] 

Hey /b/,

I'd just like to tell you something I learned in my health class today. All you tea drinkers out there, who think they are getting great health benefits are idiots. You are drinking leaves, how is that healthy? Your just drinking chlorophyll!

90% of the people who drink tea on this site are just fucking WEEABOOS. You drink tea just because the JAPS do it. Well, the JAPS have you conned. The other 10% are just britfags, and you are excused, because you are naturally fucking morons. Tea is just a LEAF! Japs aren't smart. You see how shitty their Yen is? You think that someone, who can't even keep a good economy, has the intelligence to know how good tea is? Bullshit.

Enjoy your diluted organic particles and chlorophyll, you've all been conned by the crafty, yet idiot NIPS.

>> No.5302482

>>5302449
>You really sound like my perfect guy!
That's so sweet of you!

...you know, when the sunlight hits your face just right, you kind of look like my mother a bit.

Oh well, take care !6ZMm4BOpR

>> No.5302484 [DELETED] 

CHARACTERS:

The worst part of Elfen Lied. The characters are garbage. They are so cliche and so overboard, they almost insult the intelligence of the viewer, as if we couldn't tell that Bando was short tempered and callous without either threatening the life or punching the faces of every single person he comes in contact with. All the characters are extremely unrealistic and act in ways no real person in today's society would ever act. Like a four year old girl who talks like a James Bond villain? Or elementary school boys who bully their classmates by smashing their puppies faces in with bottles? Teenagers who find naked women lying on beaches and takes them home to live with them without exchanging hardly any words? Besides all that, there weren't many cliches that weren't used in the daily dialogue from the characters. It was actually pretty painful.

>> No.5302486 [DELETED] 

Yes I'm talking that anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It fucking sucks. Now it's pretty popular among the anime circles, and yet this poor excuse for an animated feature is the worst thing ever produced by a human being if you except Plan 9 from Outer Space, and I'm being generous.

First you gotta admit you hated the first episode. It made no sense, sucked as shit, wasn't funny, edgy or new. Or original. Animation sucked dead dogs' balls. Characters sucked dead dogs' balls. Voice acting sucked dead dogs' balls. But you managed to make it through the whole pile of steaming poo just to see the ED. Because that's what this anime is about. It's about the ED. Those 1 minute and a half. There's nothing else to it. You went like "OMG ANIMATION LIEK" you freaking retards and now everyone likes it. Yet it's shit. It's complete shit with no redeeming qualities. There's fucking nothing to it. Just the dance at the end. It's a dancing anime. A fucking retarded dancing anime with no story and nothing and no characters it sucks. You shouldn't like it you morons seriously. Just download the ED and loop it on your WMP you cockass faggot asses. DAMN I wish all those threads about HARUHI OMG YEAH would go one and everyone in them die FUCK YOU for polluting my forums HARUHI FUCK YOU.

>> No.5302489

A friend recommended it to me and its the only fucking anime I actually regret watching, and i watched shit like ultimate girls, guess I should have known better than to take recommendations from a person whose second favorite anime is Bleach. Its just a fucking generic harem with a more annoying than usual protagonist, some gore and a really retarded plot. I don't mind the harem or the gore but the plot is just horrid and characters unlikable. Not to mention the anime just cuts off in the half of it so you have to read the awfully drawn manga if you want to see the ending.

>> No.5302491 [DELETED] 

Before Protests:

THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST

hey gais i juts foun encylopedica dramarita, u gais r funny lol i told evryon on myspace bout u lol post

invader zim

COUNT TO TEN AND ILL POST TITS

U Laff, U Loose!

Slowpoke Combo Incoming, bitches!!!!!

Hey, lets start a furry thread!

Oh man, b, i need advice! my girlfriend wont come to my Liknkin Park concert cause she wants to do marijuana but its illegal oh man b what od i do?

post endingin 74 tels me wat do to

Hey Faggots, My name is John, and I hate every single one of you.

God exists, PROVE ME WRONG


After Protests:

MAN /b/ WAS FUCKING SHITCOCK GREAT BEFORE THESE PROTESTS, THEN THEY WENT AND FUCKED THINGS UP!

>> No.5302493

>>5302482
...The one who's been dead in the chair for several months? ; w;

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me.

>> No.5302497

>>5302493
I thought you were leaving.

>> No.5302499 [DELETED] 

Story: What good can be said of Elfen Lied's story? It's a story. That's it. It's overtly complicated, totally unbelievable, and tries way too hard. Two people find a girl with horns and take her in. She can only say her name and gets naked too often. Then she goes nuts and kills people. All because it's her nature. And it's full of plot holes that once you realize, you can't forget. I'd point them out, but they could be spoilers.

Art: The art is just mediocre moe. Everyone has the same face unless they're an adult apparently. The animation is also pretty bad and that's not a good combination. The "vectors" are the dumbest looking power I've ever seen in an anime. I laughed every time I saw them used. Maybe it's just the way they were drawn.

Character: By far the largest offense of Elfen Lied is character development. It's either not there or it's much too forced. And what bothered me most is just the overall mood of the characters. To put it simply, if you are a bit character, YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON. NO EXCEPTIONS. One example is a group of elementary school kids beating the ever-loving hell out of a dog with no remorse whatsoever. I went to elementary school and I don't remember that many serial killers in training. They acted like supervillians. Am I just supposed to believe these kids are all just pure evil at that early an age?

Overall: 1
The worst and most overrated anime I have ever seen. I don't understand how anyone could enjoy this piece of crap show. I apologize if I'm offending anyone, but you'd have to be a complete moron to actually like this anime

>> No.5302500 [DELETED] 

Yes I'm talking that anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It fucking sucks. Now it's pretty popular among the anime circles, and yet this poor excuse for an animated feature is the worst thing ever produced by a human being if you except Plan 9 from Outer Space, and I'm being generous.

First you gotta admit you hated the first episode. It made no sense, sucked as shit, wasn't funny, edgy or new. Or original. Animation sucked dead dogs' balls. Characters sucked dead dogs' balls. Voice acting sucked dead dogs' balls. But you managed to make it through the whole pile of steaming poo just to see the ED. Because that's what this anime is about. It's about the ED. Those 1 minute and a half. There's nothing else to it. You went like "OMG ANIMATION LIEK" you freaking retards and now everyone likes it. Yet it's shit. It's complete shit with no redeeming qualities. There's fucking nothing to it. Just the dance at the end. It's a dancing anime. A fucking retarded dancing anime with no story and nothing and no characters it sucks. You shouldn't like it you morons seriously. Just download the ED and loop it on your WMP you cockass faggot asses. DAMN I wish all those threads about HARUHI OMG YEAH would go one and everyone in them die FUCK YOU for polluting my forums HARUHI FUCK YOU.

>> No.5302501 [DELETED] 

I hate fags. I fucking hate them with a passion. When comes the revolution, the fags will be one of the first in line for the firing squad.

Now this would be nothing unusual to say in /b/, since most of you feel the same way. The only reason I'm being so frank about it is that I am a fag myself. Now this is not the usual "self-hating gay" rant that everybody and their mother has heard. It's not that my hatred comes out of sheer internalized homophobia. It's just that every fucking fag I encounter is shallow, frivolous, and so grating in their vapidness that you just want to crush their skulls in a fucking vice. Their pretend mannerisms, so-well rehearsed and practiced, and that god-awful, shrill, effeminate tone of voice that they always adopt - all of them make me wish that I could enjoy the fabled bliss of pussy.

Tell me that there's at least one person that doesn't buy into this commercialized "queer eye" bullshit - there is none, at least from my experiences. It's always that same vapid little twat walking about with their just as shallow faghag bitch friends. This is why I've learned to stop having any desperate dreams of a relationship - and besides, they're all too busy fucking each other without condoms to actually have a serious relationship anyway.

I know you're thinking this is all BAWWWWW over a lack of a boyfriend, but think about it. It's really the same things most of you think about women (even though you still love tits and vagoo) and all because the lot of you are sexless, virgin /b/tards. You hate women precisely because there's no hope of you loving any, and you hate fags because they can make so many friends with women while you can't. It's all the same shit, just in a different world.

>> No.5302506

do you air dry

>> No.5302507

>>5302497
I just like you guys so much, it's hard to pull myself away.

At least I'm saging.

>> No.5302508 [DELETED] 

Elfen Lied is shit in a way carefully manufactured to sell to dribbling morons incapable of distinguishing cliche from archetype. I read the first volume and it was pathetically bad, but people who genuinely ought to know better have sworn up and down that the anime was actually genuinely good, so I made the mistake of giving it a shot.

The author has clearly never met a shit fantasy comedy cliche he didn't love, and the anime carefully crammed every single one of them into the episode and a half I managed to survive. Fuck dumb protagonist? Check. Obnoxious airhead materialistic girl? Check. Exposition awkwardly passed off as conversation, half-assed world building, fuck awful comedy jokes, grating presentation...

There was literally not a single solitary second of this I did not absolutely hate. I dare anyone to survive past the first few episodes, and if you actually fucking like it you need to do some serious soul searching and discover what makes you such a failure as a human being.

>> No.5302511 [DELETED] 

A year ago I was babysitting my step cousin. She's 12. 5'0" and has the lightest, most insanely beautiful beach-blonde hair, 100% natural. Her skin is a gorgeous milky white, not pasty but porcelain. Her cheeks are always flushed and her lips are naturally thick and reddish-pink. Anyway she's like a doll, she's real perfect and thin, with a cute slightly upturned ski slope nose.. This story isn't copypasta, it's 100% truth. We were watching a movie in her bedroom together and sitting on my lap. I began to think less about the movie and more about her. I was getting a boner from the pressure of her sitting down on my cock and it was just about to make its way through my jeans. She shifted in my lap, which made a shitload of precum seep out. I couldn't take it anymore. I NEEDED to go into the bathroom and FAP. VIGOROUSLY. I wasn't wearing a belt this day, by the way, which was just fucking perfect.

"Hey I'm going to the bathroom for a sec, OK?" "Mm hm" and as I stood up my jeans fell down, exposing my boner, which stuck out through the opening in my boxers. I switched immediately to for-fuck's-sake-God-make-me-invisible mode because I knew she was going to see my big stupid cock. She stared, mouth open at my erection for a moment that seemed like forever. Her eyes on me made me even more pre-jizz leak out onto the fluffy white carpet.

"Daniel, did you want to fuck me?"

"What, did you?" I asked, pulling up my jeans.

"You got me very wet," she sighed, staring down at her lilac knee socks.

"I do want you," I admitted.

Turned out she had a cock and raped me in the ass. I cry every night about it. But I guess that's life. Should I get help, /b/?

>> No.5302519 [DELETED] 

It's a gateway anime of the worst kind. It's a bad show, a clusterfuck of story and characterization that isn't very well done by any aspect, but which attempts to compensate for its weaknesses by adding in excessive gore, violence, nudity, fetishist appeal, moe and overbearing, unbelievable backstories and absurd situations.

The normal anon can see this as the shit it is, and may enjoy it, hate it or be indifferent to it, but all the while recognizing that the show itself, regardless of their opinion, is plain bad, and the manga isn't any better.


However, these very aspects that try to smear over the shit of its core make it a breeding ground for angsty, sceney teenage faggots who're trying to be cool and 'edgy'. The excessive gore and violence assauts their sensibilities and reinforces their angst while satisfying baser teenage drives, while the pity-party backround and characters drive home this whole 'humanity is evil, the world sucks, sad shit happends everything is twisted' message that little kiddies eat right the fuck up.

EL is basically THE anime to attract the most hated anime fanbase known to man, which is why, regardless of individual opinions, it is the responsibility of every anon to troll the fuck out of this show and evryone who likes it, and ensure that no EL threads ever encourage the newfriends to show their faces here.

>> No.5302520
File: 54 KB, 240x240, Crying.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
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Why is Suigin mad?

>> No.5302522 [DELETED] 

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

>> No.5302525 [DELETED] 

this series was pretty fucking bad.

the gore was there just there for gore's sake, and the fan service was a bit over the top.

overall, this was pretty insulting to my intelligence.

i've been reading various postings from all over the web (imdb, anime forums), and i can't believe i'm seeing all kind of praise for this anime.

the plot is cliche and pretty idiotic. so basically all the characters have been so fucked up earlier in life that it's made somewhat believable that the characters, even in anime fantasy land, would act this way? you can only decapitate and split so many people in two before it gets old. the theme of alienation and rejection has been done to death, except this series uses it to justify the aforementioned actions.

and that Nyuu character is put in there to be somewhat cute and just please 13 year old boys; it felt totally out of place and ridiculous. in fact, i couldn't help but keep thinking to myself that this is what an anime series would be like if it was written by 13 year olds who want to see blood and pussy (in exclusive contexts, i'd hope). that demographic is the only group i could possibly see to consider this series "deep, or if you were a grownup without analytic or critical thinking abilities, you'd come to that same conclusion.

i don't have any issue with violence or nudity (especially animated), and last i checked i was a pretty intelligent fellow, but i can not see how this is supposed to be some exemplary work.

i've been out of the anime loop for a LONG time, and it looks like i picked the wrong series to get me back into it.

>> No.5302528 [DELETED] 

What are you talking about? Sexual thoughts about pure, innocent Rika are horrible.

I would never suggest removing Rika's clothes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples. Only a heartless monster would think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick cock slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow.

The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading her smooth slender thighs, cock poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal pussy, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke.

I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours.

>> No.5302534 [DELETED] 

I fucked two chicks last night! I fucked my sister and her fat friend. Since my sister still had diarrhea It was extra messy. We were all naked and my sis's friend smothered my face with her big plump ass and I licked her asshole. TASTED YUMMY! After that she began sucking my dick and I fisted my sister's ass and got my hand covered in shit so I smeared it all over my face and I let her shit in my mouth. I took the turd out of my mouth and fucked her cunt with it and the shit began to fall a part. Her friend stopped sucking my cock so I sat on her face and she licked my asshole while I ate my sis's pussy. Then my sis began sucking my dick while her friend licked my ass and balls. After that, I fucked her in the ass while my sister sucked on her tits. Her asshole felt so warm and tight. Those cheeks felt SOOOOOOOOOO good. You know what they say, MORE CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN! After that I lay on the floor and let her piss on me and my sis shit on me. Then they both got on top of me. We're all covered in shit and piss and they both began taking turns sucking my cock until I came in both of their faces.
I had a great time.

>> No.5302536
File: 23 KB, 447x395, gigglingkonata2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302536

>>5302507
>At least I'm sagging.

>> No.5302537

>>5302507
That's like saying, "Well, they killed my entire family, but at least they only raped me!" Your continuing to post only confirms that you're nothing more than an attention whore.

>> No.5302538 [DELETED] 

Actually I watched it in one day, but only in my typical hope there must come something that makes it special.

I'm so dissapointed!!! FUCK ELFEN LIED!

Ah, now I feel better, so let's talk about it in a serious kind of way.

An anime that ranks in the top 10 should be special, change my look on life, truly shock me, bring me to tears...you know what I mean. That's what I awaited from Elfen Lied because there are really only good reviews on it around the net. I feel like it was so damn predictable from the first to the last episode and artificial constructed. It's hard to put it into (English) words. I had that feeling all the time it was cooked after a certain recipe:

Let's take a lot of breasts, pants, breasts and even more breasts and mix it up with an even bigger amount of blood and violence.

So it doesn't seem too obvious we only want to sell breasts and blood give the characters some really bad lifes with everything that certainly shocks: Loss of parents, child abuse, killed animals.

The most important ingridient (besides breasts and blood): The fact that society produces psychos!

>> No.5302540 [DELETED] 

It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that cock is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered pussy for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, she murmurs breathlessly, "You came so much inside of me, nanodesu~", then her fingers dig into your back as she feels your cock hardening inside her again.

You're all freaks. Rika's too pure for anyone to imagine her in such a terrible situation, and anyone who does is evil, evil, evil.

>> No.5302549 [DELETED] 

Tadaa, there you go with Elfen Lied.

Because that facts are so obvious and I'm a girl that does not respond on breasts and blood it did not shock me (and I'm easily scared...the X.-Files...you know). Like I said - predictable.
And unrealistic. Sorry if I spoiler too much, but someone who just found out the nice girl he lived with (he touched her breasts by the way) is the murderer of his family would not hug or even kiss her!!! Hello??? That's beyond everything...you can't have such a good heart...perhaps when you are Jesus or the pope, but in any other cases...

>> No.5302551

I love how Anons are SAGE SAGE MY SAGE WILL KILL THIS THREAD and posting reaction images with greentext citing how many posts and images are in this thread.

Then they run off and start a "Japanese bird cooking spaghetti" or a Cirno 'Look at that baka!' thread. This thread as of right now is more tolerable than most other shit on /jp/ at the moment.

>> No.5302552 [DELETED] 

>>5302493
>That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me.

I don't care what 4chan says, you're pretty cool, !6ZMm4BOpR.

[spoilers]You'd be even cooler in my freezer.[/spoilers]

>> No.5302554 [DELETED] 

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what trolling means.

If people lurked more I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that fucks up the meaning of words and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Thinking you "trolled" a person just by making it believe a lie is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of term that is used to describe people who literally try to make you angry just by insulting you or your tastes. in others forums they do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at knowing the meaning of trolling.

The true meaning of trolling means YOU posted something intentionally enraging (Personal opinions don't count) to get somebody incredibly mad and respond seriously to your post. If a person tells you to "Fuck off" or similar things, it doesn't mean he got trolled, it means your trolling attempt was so lame you should just stop trying. Trying to use "U mad" and other similar memes is just a pathetic attempt of covering your hurt ass (Because you are obviously hurt that your troll didn't work and you are trying to save face).

Trolling never meant to be funny, or annoying, or cool, or anything. Only huge nerds with no lives or girlfriends try to get off to people getting mad on the internet. It's like they are admitting their own insecurities and loneliness.

I want to use sarcasm, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm trolling or something.

>> No.5302564 [DELETED] 

I do think it's not that great of an anime most people claim it is. As far as I have seen up to the 13 or so episodes, it's just one big *Fan-Service*. Gallons of blood, discriminated gore and gratituous nudity. All these comprises almost half of the series.
Second, the plot is not solid. It is forced up for some events to happen (all the nudity scenes included) and features many already used clich駸, as well as religious themes suited for 6-years old and smoked reasoning out of majors from Philosophy 101. The plot is also WAY too, too predictable. All those scenes that seem guided to create a tense feeling lose their impact because the situation already gives what's going to happen next. Yet, you could say that's not the case because the way the character "develops" permits some uncertainity. Which leads me to the next point.
Third, the character development sucks. Most of the characters follow stereotypes established since aeons ago. Nyu, for me, is a fraud. Her action pattern is not ambiguousIt doesn't end to convince me her mentality of discriminate killing. That's the only reason why some scenes are not predictable but because you really don't know how she will react in the forced way she was "developed". If she's supposed to hate all humanity that doesn't seem the case in the first episodes. Other characters also don't act as how they're supposed to or given a reason on why.

>> No.5302565 [DELETED] 

I had a strange dream the other day. I was riding the bus when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" The bus had just stopped beside the library, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.

I just sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parehtneses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!

>> No.5302566

Hey girl, do you like Pants Wrestling as much as I do?: )

>> No.5302568

>>5302493
>That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me.

I don't care what 4chan says, you're pretty cool, !6ZMm4BOpR.

You'd be even cooler in my freezer.

>> No.5302575 [DELETED] 

righto, while i commit a crime just by posting in a thread like this, I'll tell you my story.

I watched naruto and chobits. Then I watched Elfen lied. I thought it was really good and even had it as favorite. Then I watched Ghost in the shell, and other genuinly good anime such as mushishi, mononoke, baccano, etc. a whole list. and everytime i watched something new, elfen lied went down a rank in my list. every fucking time.

so now elfen lied is at the bottom. because it's shit. and some people just cant see that. So, about the exact opposite of the thing you said op. the more anime you watch, the more good stuff you watch, the faster you realize elfen lied isnt anything special. it's like people who cling to naruto because it was their first long series - elfen lied is your first series with murder. it leaves an impression. Which is wrong, because later you realize its just a VERY FUCKING stereotypical story with fetishes such as peeing, helplessness, lolis, blood. Add some ZOMG VIOLENCE, some TOTALLY one sided and RETARDED characters, and a fucking trainwreck of a story. Voila.

>> No.5302576 [DELETED] 

I hit my girlfriend today, /b/.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad. She won, and my dad kinda lost it over the years.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.

Basically, I cocked my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor. She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. I washed off my hand, browsed /b/ for a bit, and took a dump. While I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't go to the cops or anything.

I'm not too sure what to do next.

>> No.5302581 [DELETED] 

To be frank this series was a massive disappointment on every level. I heard great things about from many people and anime sites. Basically this show is a glorified harem horror train wreck with fancy music.

To start none of the character reactions seem natural. Everything seems awkward and stupid. The characters themselves are all either insane or incredibly stupid (some are both). It's hard to get into depth without ruining anything so I will make an example. Imagine if the characters in Excel Saga's actions were all taken in a serious light. That is how stupid these characters are. Then there is this convoluted storyline that goes in so many different directions that it makes no sense. Then there is the stupid romance element of the thing. It's as if they try to make the most illogical couple possible. Overall this show seems like it was created by a person with no actual goal in sight. He just throws out boobs and blood and expects it to be good. Which it most definitely isn't. If all you want in your anime is blood and boobs this is the anime for you...just whatever you do don;t listen to a word these people have to say.

Basically this is a piece of garbage covered in blood. But hey at least the music is good. I gotta admit that much.

>> No.5302585 [DELETED] 

Hey /b/ my name is Catie, i don't understand why you silly people hate me so much, so what, im not really named Bawkxxy, it was just a joke between me and my gaia online buddie, friend,peoples and one of you freaks found it, found me hot, ( not that i can blame you, im fuckin hot, and posted it on this dumbass site, you guys need lives, stop trying to invade mine, let me live, i don't need you lifeless freaks attacking me like you do to all the other people trying to make a good difference in the world. you guys are a sad sad bunch of people. Leave me alone /b/, get your own lives! Im sick of this, i give up. im not your fucking queen, so leave me alone! You guys scare me. It was funny for a while, but you guys are taking this out of hand. Again, Leave me alone! Byeeeee, and of course, knowing your stupid site, this most likely will be deleted due to my name being in it, at least it has SOMETHING going right for it, i don't want to be seen on this site anymore, its pathetic and embarrassing. As you would say ANhero /b/, do the WORLD a favor.

>> No.5302586 [DELETED] 

ja to kiedyś mieszkałem przez miesiąc z moją dziewczyną japonką w Korei. uprawialiśmy seks codziennie przez miesiąc. gdy wyjeżdżaliśmy zapytała czy wszystko ze mną w porządku, bo strasznie rzadko chciałem się z nią ruchać w czasie pobytu w Korei. okazało się, że ruchałem sprzątaczkę, siostrzyczkę właścicielki hotelu, samą właścicielkę i jej matkę. CAŁY CZAS MYŚLAŁEM, ŻE RUCHAM MOJĄ DZIEWCZYNĘ! Ba, nawet myślałem podczas seksu "eeh, fajnie byłoby ruchać tamtą sprzątaczkę lub xxx". Nie do wiary.

>> No.5302587 [DELETED] 

Not trolling:

Elfen Lied is entry level loldeep garbage for fat fujoshi. It doesn't have any real meaning or provoke actual thought, unlike some other series, and is made entirely out of fanservice, fightan, and BS garbage that doesn't mean anything, but makes stupid people think it does. As such, pretentious 15-year-old girls watch the series and really think that they are "experiencing the ART that is anime," along with a vague sense of pride in their feminist vaginas. It's disgusting, really.

And, no, this has nothing to do with the fanbase. It's not the girls that are the problem. ELFEN LIED ITSELF tries to make you think that it's deep. If we lived in a just world, the creators would be lined up and shot.

>> No.5302589

I think we need a new word. "Mad" can no longer describe Suigin's butt.

>> No.5302593 [DELETED] 

This is the craziest manga I've ever read (trust me, I read fooli cooli) There's blood, violence, and a whole lot of awesome.

The plot is just the half of it. These characters are amazing. Especially Nyu. Now, that's just adorable. And her alternate self, Lucy...well let's just say my sister Mary is going to have a child and she's naming her own baby Lucy after this character (I'm not kidding)

I might not have liked Yukka all that much but she's okay. And Nana is amazing.

But the ones I liked most in the story was Mayu and...that other guy. You know, the one from the beach. I honestly can't remember his name right now. Total blank. But you know who I'm talking about, If you read the manga.

Character development was amazing too. This story left no stone unturned. Everything had a meaning, and nothing was unsaid in the end

This is still the best thing, manga wise, that I've ever read. Yeah, think about that.

>> No.5302594 [DELETED] 

I can't even say the characters were the saving grace of this anime, because they just weren't REAL. Characters are incredibly unreal, and incredibly shallow so I couldn't feel sorry for them, or feel happy with them. Not to mention most of the characters in the series seemed to have the maturity of someone ten years old or younger. Many other character reactions, especially Kouta's, make no sense. Details like this make me wonder about the true aim the series creators had and who was their target audience. Most the characters emoted the same kind of cookie-cutter cuteness seen in many other shows. Just as the plot, characters also are pretty stereotyped, bringing forth a nice collection of seen-already/done-before types, mixed together to make Elfen Lied even more shocking, but poorly succeeding in such intent. It's like they made them from a character-building kit. The characters as a whole in this series were forgettable and clich馘, repetitively dull and lacking character development.

>> No.5302595

>>5302566
I don't... even know what that means.

>>5302568
Oh, it's a really hot day here, spending some time in a freezer would be really refreshing! You're so generous to offer, anon. I'll be over soon!

>> No.5302602

Excuse me Suigin, you're acting like a 13 year old /b/tard. Please quit, you're making yourself look bad.

>> No.5302603 [DELETED] 

JESUS TITTYFUCKING CRACK SMOKING CHRIST ON A MOPED WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THIS SAVED?!

SERIOSULY WHAT KIND OF PERSON SEEKS OUT, DOWNLOADS, SAVES AND REPOSTS AN IMAGE, AN ANIMATED IMAGE, OF A DEER FUCKING A CRYING SCHOOLGIRL?!

LIKE I KNOW THERE ARE BIZZARE FETISHES AND WEIRD SHIT THAT TURNS PEOPLE ON, AND YOU KNOW I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT, I JUST DON'T LOOK AT IT. BUT THIS.
FUCKING THIS.

THE FACT THAT SOMEBODY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS TO SAVE THIS...THING, AND THEN THAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTED TO SEE IT JSUT BOGGLES MY MOTHERFUCKING MIND. WHAT TYPE OF A PERSONA RE YOU? SERIOUSLY. DO YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELF OR DO YOU ACT LIKE A CREEPY FUCK IN PUBLIC TOO?! DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS AT ALL? I SURE AS FUCK HOPE NOT.

AND THE WORST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THAT IN ABOUT 30 POSTS THIS WILL MORPH INTO A LUCKY STAR PORN THREAD WITH ALMOST A HUNDRED IMAGES OF SIMILAR SITUATIONS DEPICTING CHILDREN BEING HORRIBLY MOLESTED THAT NEARLY A HUNDRED PEOPLE ALL HAVE SAVED TO THEIR HARD DRIVES TO JACK OFF OVER AS THE HELPLESS LITTLE GIRL SQUIRMS IN PANIC ON THEIR SCREEN FOR THEIR OWN ENJOYMENT.

JUST WHAT THE FUCK. I KNOW THIS IS HOW THE INTERNET WORKS BUT
WHAT
THE
FUCK

TOO MUCH. WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

(inb4 capslock is cruise control for cool, fuck off pedophiles I can press any damn key I please, go rot in jail)

>> No.5302604 [DELETED] 

Our protagonist, Kouta, is just as generic acting as his outer appearance would suggest. Really, how hard IS it to make a half-decent male main character? He's nearly empty. What does he do? Nothing! He just throws some random words or shouts in scary situations. He's as good as brick wall. No wait, he knows one thing, how to be nice. Whether you bite him or pat his head - he will be nice. Kouta, your typical all-around-nice guy & another disturbed character with a troubled past.

Nyuu... Oh man. Nyuu was the worst character; she was absolutely pathetic, although strangely cute, sometimes. She was mostly out of contest, nor she developed, nor she did something important to the series. Waste of time. I don't get these "cutesy" anime characters that have zero vocabulary, and as a consequence have zero personality as well, and whose only purpose is to act stupid and innocent while flashing the audience on occasion. I don't know about you, but I don't get turned on by checking out retarded people, sweet and lovable as they might be...

>> No.5302612 [DELETED] 

OPENMESSAGE:

THERE IS NOT M>UCH TIME. THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN SENT FROM THE YYEAR 2018. THE HU███MAN RACE DEP//?ENDS ON THIS MESSAGE BEING READ AND UNDERSTOOD BY USERS OF MES//?SAGEBOARD 4CHAN IN THE YEAR <Current year>.

POST NUMBER <Post nr. here> WILL LEAD TO WAR AGAINST THE MA██CHI//?NES. YOU MUST DI█SREGARD ALL KNOWLEDGE OF THAT POST. DO NOT READ. DO NOT REWRITE//// THE CONTEN//// TS ONTO DIGITAL MEDIA, NOR MUST ANYBODY REPRODUCE IT IN A█NY ████OTHER FORM. IT MUST BE ██ELETED.

<Post nr. repeated here for emphasis>

THIS IS THE ONLY W^46ARNING YOU WILL RECEIVE. THE FUTURE OF OUR RACE IS NOW IN YOUR HANDS. PLEASE ALSO ENSUR^68^584^^84!!!INTERRUPT

>> No.5302614
File: 384 KB, 1704x2272, battle_axe23241.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302614

>>5302434
You have my axe

>> No.5302617 [DELETED] 

Anonymous quickly slid his copy of the D&D monster manual between his Algebra and bio books and closed his locker door. If he was to survive the afternoon he would have to move quickly. He pulled up his hood, trying to look inconspicuous, and turned around, only to come face to face with the flawless white tabard of the captain of the paladins.
"WHITHER GOEST THOU, KNAVE?!" he demanded, his voice loud despite the muffling of his visored greathelm.
"I was just getting my books, leave me alone." said Anonymous. He felt the hairs rising on the back of his neck; the armored bulk of the members of the Paladin squad blocked the hallway entirely.
"I POSTED AN EDICT BANNING YOU FROM THIS CORRIDOR, KNAVE!" The captain roared. His lieutenant looked up from his breviary and addressed no one in particular:
"METHINKS THE HERETIC LOOKS TO BE SMOTE!"
"NOoooo!" cried Anonymous, dodging away from the tightening circle of paladins. "Leave me alooone!" he yelled as he ran toward the stairway for all he was worth, the clanking of plates against chainmail close behind him.
"SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!" The cry echoed from the concrete walls.
'Somebody heeellllp!" he cried as the paladins lifted him bodily across the school courtyard. At their captain's encouragement they broke into a run.
"SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!" the paladins let anonymous go on the upswing, and for a brief second he was weightless, coasting through the air, until he landed with a squishy thud in the fetid darkness of the cafeteria dumpster.
"THY WILL BE DONE OH LORD," the paladins intoned as they slammed the lid.
Anonymous waited until their hymns of triumph faded in the distance before dragging himself clumsily out, shaking, stained and stinking. He felt he could burst into tears any second, but the varsity cheerwenches were there, giggling at his discomfiture.

>> No.5302619 [DELETED] 

I found the fanserive piss poor, and I read the manga. Fuck I didn't read the manga for fanservice, there's plenty more titles for that hobby. I read it because it started as a mix between F.E.A.R. and gore. Even the anime showed how well the manga started off. 7 minutes of gore and edge with no cliches to come in the way (the way that stupid chick's head twirled in the air after bumping into death itself was just fantastic) and after that I was expecting it to become Berserk in modern settings but without having the IMSODARKANDSERIOUS feel like stupid shounen series that take themselves too seriously.

And then it became Ranma 1/2: Ecchi Version. AND SO DARK AND SERIOUS lolirape LOL. And totally pointless secondart characters that utterly stole the spotlight from Lucy, including the most boring incarnation of Clannadman to have ever existed in anime. Speaking of the anime, the anime reflected this surprisngly boring turn by becoming so by Episode 2.

Fucking why. How did you managa to fuck that up.

>> No.5302621 [DELETED] 
File: 366 KB, 1680x1260, 1274434114924.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302621

>> No.5302625

>>5302602
shut up

>> No.5302626 [DELETED] 

This is for you, Anon. The ones that sit at home on the weekends because your friends are off being someone you're not. The ones that surf /b/ for a chance to smile, a chance to laugh, and sometimes a chance to baw. The ones that tear up at the tale of a forgotten kitten, but snicker when a cam whore is being verbally assaulted. The ones that white knight, the ones that call out the white knights, and the ones that need the white knights. The ones who turn to /b/ when their significant others cheat on them with their best friend. The ones who don't have significant others. To the ones that think of witty responses not a heartbeat after reading a post, and to the ones that don't think of them until the thread 404's. The ones that see a mangled body draped over a dead baby that's being raped at the same time, and still take a bite of their sandwich. The ones that choose chubbies over scene girls. The ones that choose scene girls over chubbies. The ones who sage, even though it does nothing. This is to the ones that are the most amazing people I've ever had the privilege of talking to, but still can't find a person to appreciate them like we do. The ones that long to fall asleep holding a certain person's hand but are too shy to even talk to them. The quiet girl who is the sweetest, funniest, cutest girl, but doesn't get a second glance. The misunderstood guy, who always says funny things, but people take them the wrong way, because they're close minded niggers. The ones that read the baw threads and call out everyone posting in them as faggots/newfags/etc, but still read every single post because they need to feel emotion. The ones that I wish I could give a hug to because I know even though they post the most soulless, cold, disgusting shit, they still have the need to feel loved. Well, Anon. I love you. And I would be honored to fall asleep while holding your hand.

>> No.5302630 [DELETED] 

Story: While the opening of the series is certainly something to catch the viewers attention, showing the heroine escaping the facility of her imprisonment and painting the walls with everyone that looks at her funny, it quickly goes downhill when Lucy is shot in the head. At this point, she loses her memory and awakens as otaku wet dream fodder, complete with a cutesy phrase that's enough to drive one to murder when heard repeatedly. She is then found by Kouta, the horribly generic male protagonist and falls in love with his extremely bland, cardboard box personality. From there on, it's a roller coaster ride of cliches and melodrama, in that order. As you can tell, the story of this series is possibly the most painful aspect of it. Like many popular series it likes to think of itself as something profound (and indeed, many who watched the series fell for this). The problem with the plot is that has absolutely nothing to say. There is no message in the series, which leads me to believe "deep" must be the new meaning for shallow for many. It's just violence, fanservice, and cheap melodrama that is to be expected of soap operas (which is an insult to soap operas, to be honest). There is nothing wrong with a series that only seeks to entertain through random violence and fanservice, but when these kind of series grow pretentious and people actually buy into it, there is a problem. The plot is so over the top that it's hard to watch with a straight face, especially any scenes involving children. Apparently, all children are horribly cruel and with kill a puppy for laughs (which is apparently why Lucy is such a wanker. SO TRAGIC). Things like this make one wonder if the creators know the definition of subtlety.

>> No.5302637

Hey Real Girl

What do you think of guys who're romantics? I've been told it's strange and boring for a guy to be romantic and that some girls are turned off by it. Would you think me asking you if you would like to spend a nice, quiet night in an open field under the stars on a summer night strange?

>> No.5302639

I don't expect our shitty non-meido janitors to be fucking perfect but this is just endorsing blatant shitposting.

>> No.5302640
File: 17 KB, 388x480, phoenix.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302640

Miss "Real" "Girl."

You claim to be attracted to females exclusively, correct?

>>5302072 "I'm into women."

But then, you admit to having a moe for male /jp/ frequenters.

>>5301984 "I'm not sure why I find the waifu-obsessed, thread-saging manchild behavior kind of moe, but I do."

Then, effectively, by openly feigning an attraction to men while being attracted exclusively to women, you're going against your own words here --
>>5301874 "I have more respect for dignity. We're not all whores. Just a lot of us."

And further, claiming that someone is your "perfect guy!"
>>5302449 "You really sound like my perfect guy!"

If your claims of "posting for the sake of posting, not posting for the sake of trolling" (>>5302286) are true, then why posture yourself as a heterosexual female?! Are you unable to befriend anyone on merit of character alone? Are you really so petty and uninteresting that you feel the need and desire to flaunt your femininity so far as to lead people on?!

I'm waiting, miss !6ZMm4BOpR.

"unintentionally trolling," indeed.

>> No.5302643 [DELETED] 

Well your girlfriends a whore and your other friend is enjoying peacefull nonexsistance in the endless void of death. way i see it you could join your friend in oblivion, whine about it forever, do some crazy revenge scheme that'll probably get you arrested or the shit kicked out of you or you could go out into the world and tap some strange ass. floss your teeth with some pubes. Go to a strip club and get some smelly fish-cunt in your face. Down a bottle of jsck and wake up south of the border with one of your kidneys gone and dirty mexican prostitute just endlessly sucking your dick. Fuck off the people that don't matter and then fuck of the people that do. Blow your life savings, your college savings Fuck college. college is for people afraid to live. Use all that money to rent a fast car and 20 kilos of coke and then drive across the united states, tourturing and killing at least one person in every state you drive through. at some point carve out a coyote head and wear it as a hat and run through a town packing as much heat as you can and calling yourself anubus the god of death. probably by then you'll have forgotten all about your gutterslut of a girlfriend and your corpse of a friend.

Merry Christmas.

>> No.5302648

>>5302625
You too. Please take your crankiness elsewhere.

>> No.5302649 [DELETED] 

Characters: Possibly the worst aspect of the series. The characters in a story should be either realistic, entertaining, or represent something. The characters in Elfen Lied do none of these. The series tries very hard to make you feel for the characters, including the diclonii, but the attempts at making them sympathizable are so ridiculous that it becomes obvious the writers are just sadists who want to break the characters in almost every way possible, except for Kouta because he seems to have some sort of high level plot armor. The characters are pretty much punching bags with little depth or motivation for their actions, aside from... wait for it... what the writers want to happen. Beginning to see a pattern here? Everything in this series is so mechanical and obviously made for shock value and fanservice. The way the characters act, the plot progression, none of it feels natural in the least bit. It's all an attempt to pull at the viewers emotions in hopes they'll stick around to buy the next DVD.

>> No.5302653

>>5302595
That sounds great! I'll clean the place up for you. I wouldn't want you to stumble on to any of the skeletons in the closet.

I'm joking, of course.

....

>> No.5302658 [DELETED] 

hey /b/, so, i know this girl.

we were each others first kiss and she broke up with me because when we were 16 we got to serious (i was massaging her breast) anyway we are both now almost 19 and she has slept with another guy. I still love her and she says she still loves me and wants to marry me one day. I tell her i don't care that she slept with another guy...but I do and it kills me inside every time I think of it I want to die...I know i can never sleep with her because i wont be able to help but think that I am nowhere near as good at pleasing her as the other guy, I love her and promised to ask her to marry me, I will keep my promise and i will put on a brave face and always tell her she is perfect and there is nothing wrong, i will tell her i still love her as much as always and tell her that she is still the only girl i want to make love to...but its all a lie, I will ask her to marry me because its what she wants, when she wants sex i will sleep with her try to please her and do my best but i will never have the desire to make love myself ever again because i only ever wanted to make love to her and now i will feel horrible every time i do but i will do it for her. if we have kids i will always think they are someone else's. I will always think she would rather be sleeping with the guy that took her virginity. and worst of all is I refuse to break my word. I gave my word I will marry her and I gave my word I wont kill myself. so i have no way out oh and she has told me i cant ask other people to kill me that counts as me killing myself.

>> No.5302660 [DELETED] 

Billy: Hey dad, whats an operating system supposed to do?

Dad: Well Billy, an operating system is supposed to provide an environment where many different kinds of software can run well.

Billy: But Linux, OSX, and Windows 7 do that well! How do I decide?

Dad: Well Billy, you have to now assess what kind of software you're going to be using. Which OS looks the most appropriate now?

Billy: Well, OSX is good for graphic design, but nearly all of its programs also run on Windows 7 or have comparable software also for Windows 7. Linux has a lot of great software, but just can't really compete really with the huge libraries of software for Macs and Windows.

But in terms of number of software available, Windows 7 seems to have the most. It also runs new and upcoming games, and also runs classic PC games while XP is left in the dust without DX10.

Dad: There you have it son, Windows 7, which is an operating system, runs FUCKING EVERYTHING!!!!

SO STOP BITCHING UNTIL THE OTHER OPERATING SYSTEMS CAN COMPETE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.5302661 [DELETED] 

It had odd F.E.A.R. similarites, with the protagonist being held for experiments against her will and she being ruthless, and yet there still could be a soul under that helmet, even though it took a full episode before we see a glimpse of that. Literally the first two episodes crossed the boundaries of sterotypical anime and kept me on edge wanting to see how things would go on for Lucy and the people she interacted with. I couldn't wait to see more. By the third episode I dropped it. The second the show was turning into some shitty Summon Night anime with subtle character development and horror undertones given up for fanservice over fanservice, I just left. I tried to skip to see if it improved, but it had replaced the fanservice with ZOMG REAP, so no improvement there. It was like seeing Berserk turn itself into Mermaid Pichi Pichi all in a matter of 2 hours in the show. Ittook itself way to seriously without bothering to have some substance. It was like reading Harry Potter 7 again, only animated. I was tempted to properly return to the show to see what would happend to Nana, but I found out that she actually bored me, so I stayed away. And a good thing too it seems, considering that the show handed the main role from Lucy to Boring McBoring Joe who has a thing for anything of the opposite sex, including his cousin. I was also tempted to see what would happen to Lucy, but again, shitty J-RPG elements in a story where this stuff shouldn't be there just ruined the show for me. I know people say that the manga is much better, but if it's like Wolf Guy, with REAP pretty much being the common excuse for 'plot' then I'd rather not read any of that to begin with. Which is a pity, because Lucy really feels out of place in this shitty story.

>> No.5302666 [DELETED] 

So yeah, all you lonely fags out there. Let me break it down for you. Women are NOT all they're cracked up to be. Stop bawwing in your cheerios. OK, so they smell nice, right? Wrong. Women wear ungodly amounts of perfume to cover up the stench. Try waking up next to one when that shit wears off. She'll smell like a week-old fish carcass rotting in the sun. She'll also claw at that snatch like it's a scratch-n'-sniff while she's sleeping. Fuck that, what about the tits, you say? The fact is, average women have such sagging flab bags that they would make an African tribe-nigger cringe. That's not all. Act now, and you can realize the full potential of tits that have been kept in the same bra for decades! That's right, montgomery glands are usually covered in zits because women don't usually wash the area surrounding the nipples. What about pussy, VAGINA, snatch, cooter? Yeah? You ever tried tasting one of those? Let me tell ya, it tastes like licking ammonia mixed with asshole. The clitoris is nothing but a small PENIS surrounded by large yeast-infected beef-curtains. Those delicious "tummys" turn you on then? Fat chance. You lurk /b/. The only girl you've ever had, IF, has been a disgustingly fat woman whom you've had to be completely shitfaced around just to act nice. Chances are, you stopped drinking and she blamed you for your shitty personality, because all you ever thought about was "how to obtain a harpoon?" Which brings me to SPORTS. Jocks, stastics spouting football/baseball junkies. These guys are trying to focus their minds on something else entirely. They're the only ones out there who aren't virgins. They've seen the disgusting pile of sludge that is woman, and they don't want to go think about it anymore.

tl;dr+women are disgusting, enjoy your hand

>> No.5302667 [DELETED] 

And why exactly does every one of you faggots BITCH like a baby at people bashing your favorite animu?
Do k-onfags cry because their threads are trolled? Bakefags? Narutards?
Do they?
No, because they aren't new idiots that just visisted /a/ for the first time and gasp at the fact that /a/ doesn't respect other people's opinions and flames. "HEY RESPECT MY OPINION!!!!"

>> No.5302670

Seeing this thread made me realize how childish and immature /jp/ is. It's like sitting in a classroom full of 13 year old boys.

>> No.5302671 [DELETED] 

HEY GIRLS OF /b/

i came here by my bf's request to let ya all know the secret of making your man truly happy here's a few tips you could use:

1 - gtfo the internets and go back to the kitchen

2 - make ur man sammich

3 - give ur man massage while he's posting on /b/

4 - sex ur man up

5 - make him moar sammich

6 - stfu while doin all this

pic related; it's me makin sammich

>> No.5302683 [DELETED] 

Hey Fags

Instead of sitting around on the internet all day, posting pointless messages and abusing yourselves to pictures of loose women, why not do something productive and surrender your lives to Allah?

Western society has become decadent, weak, and lazy, and is soon to collapse. The upcoming generation, people such as yourselves, want nothing more from life than to grow fat sitting around on computers all day, masturbating, drinking, and taking drugs. You are encouraged in this behaviour by corrupt politicians and absent new age parents while your societies and economies collapse around you. Meanwhile the Muslim Ummah, or brotherhood, grows rich on oil wealth and trains its upcoming generation to serve Allah, and to fight, willing to give their lives if necessary for the cause. The 19 hijackers of 9/11 have surely earned their place in paradise as do the suicide bombers who strike daily into the heart of the devil state of Israel. We are living among you, in Europe and America, and we are outbreeding you day by day, slowly taking over.

Allah has a plan for each of us. He means us all to be good Muslims and live by his rules, as set out to the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh). Your sinful lives and wicked ways go against His plans, and you will be tortured for eternity in hell for your iniquities. Repent now and revert back to the one true faith.

>> No.5302684 [DELETED] 

I disliked this show because failed to provide satisfaction. It had potential but that was beaten down by to much ambition. It was trying way to hard to be grimdark and lighthearted at the same. Trainwreck is the best way you can describe it. Everyone loses, everyone wins, it was like the author just couldnt make up his mind and tried to please everyone. The result was a mass of suck.

Its a good anime for people who are new to anime. Its bloody enough that you can break newfags in to MOE with out scaring them off. This is why only noobs like it. Once you watch real MOE and real grimdark, This show just looks like a joke.

Go download K-ON and Ergo Proxy then watch them at the same time alternating back and forth. You will get the best of the best from both worlds and get a feeling of accomplishment.

In closing Elfen Lied is to Bush Light, only high school kids and morons indulge and enjoy it.

>> No.5302691 [DELETED] 
File: 30 KB, 519x475, nukepenis.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302691

Janitor is deleting my 3D porn.

Post 3D porn.

>> No.5302693 [DELETED] 

>>5302667
Because there's no reason to bash an anime unless you're just trying to make the fans of it upset. Thus, it is only polite to post angry responses about it, and give the person what they were looking for. It's just nice to be giving when your friends want something, you know?

>> No.5302696 [DELETED] 

This has to be, hands down, the easiest anime to troll me with by far. Doesn't even need trolling, just a little praise of this pile of shit gets me raging.

Anyway, people who think this anime has great characters that are well developed/deep and other bullshit, should try watching more than 5 series before watching this.

Its shows like this and Deathnote that get stupid people to announce that this is most complex thing they've seen, as they are made to impress idiots easily. (Not hating Deathnote, just that it gets that haven't seen many anime to over hype it)

tl;dr if you claim this show is anything other than mediocre overall, GTFO

>> No.5302698 [DELETED] 

Where your joke of a faith, which no one in your society believes in anyway, tells you to love, be tolerant, and turn the other cheek, the Quran teaches us to "Kill the unbelievers wherever you find them, capture and besiege them and prepare for them every kind of ambush."

It also says "Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power, including steeds of war, to strike terror into (the hearts of) the enemies, of Allah and your enemies".

How can you hope to win your futile so called 'war on terror' against us? You have become weak, and no longer willing or able to fight. You even elected a pacifist president with Muslim sympathies to try and placate us. It's only a matter of time until we win. Even now your soldiers contine to die on the battlefields of Afghanistan, and for what? The moment you leave, it will be back to traditional Sharia law. Your technological advances count for nothing if all you do with them is watch porn and play video games. We will continue our jihad on the west, to maim and kill those who oppose or insult us. See the truth for what it is and revert to Islam immediately. It is your only hope of survival.

>> No.5302704

>>5302670
shut up

>> No.5302706 [DELETED] 

>>5302670
Do you even know why we're sageing this thread?

>> No.5302710 [DELETED] 
File: 29 KB, 477x313, skfight.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302710

Whooops!

>> No.5302712 [DELETED] 

Shion Sonozaki waited. The cicadas around her cried and chirped out of the forest. There were demons in her bloodline. She didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. Her warnings to Mion were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Shion was a Sonozaki for eighteen years. When she was young she watched the yakuza and she said to Oryou "I want to be head of the family granny."
Oryou said "No! You will BE POSSESS BY DEMONS"
There was a time when she believed her. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the Watanagashi of the Hinamizawa she knew there were demons.
"This is for Satoshi" the demons crackered. "You must fight everyone!"
So Shion gotted her Tazer and zapped up the town.
"SHE GOING TO KILL US" said her friends
"I will beg at her" said Keiichi and he pleaded for Mion's safety promise. Shion hammered at him and tried to crucify him up. But then the police came and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! You must resist the demons" Keiichi shouted
Shion said "No, Keiichi. I am the demons."
And then Shion was a zombie.

>> No.5302713

>>5302666
I kinda laughed.

>> No.5302718

>>5302670
Yeah, that's how it is. The whole taking it easy thing is just a farce. Being a virgin really makes people frustrated and high strung, I think. That's why I say guys really should go out and lose their virginity. It's just for their mental health ya know?

>> No.5302723

What the hell? Even /co/ somehow sucks more than we do. Just look at their "list":

/a/: Kamina and Kittan, Madarame, Anno, Gary Oak, Matt, L, Ken, Desty Nova, Alita, Sechs, Yoruichi, Rock Lee and Might Guy, Goku, The Medicine Seller, Papillon, Speed Racer, Sailor Moon, Astro Boy, Lady Eboshi
/co/: /co/mrade league, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Spiderman, Nick Fury,Welton, Blade, Matt from Witch, the Question, Alan Moore, the cast of Swat Cats, Wolverine, Optimus, Megatron, Baroness, Barbara Gordon, Super Soldier (and his components), cockblockin Zuko, Snow Miser, Samurai Jack, Usagi Yojimbo, Huey Freeman, Nathan Explosion
/b/: Advice Dog, Chris Hansen, and Pedobear, mootle, snacks, Emiry, Cracky
/m/: Sage Gai Gar, Amuro Ray, Shinji Ikari, Master Asia, Toku Spiderman, ENIS,Yoshiyuki Tomino, Coop, Asuka Langley Soryuu, among others.
/jp/: Floating dog, the enire cast of the Touhou Project, Saber, Shiki, ZUN,Fredrica Bernkastle, the cast of Higurashi, among others
/v/: Captain Falcon, Duke Nukem, Ness, Travis Touchdown, Dio Brando, Big Boss, Wesker, Splash Woman, Ultros, Professor Layton, Botley, Kratos, Prince of Persia, Link, Symphony of the Night Dracula
/tv/: Juno, Jay and Silent Bob, Team Shaolin, the Bride, Dr. Cox, JD, Jason Bourne, Neo, Bruce Lee, Budnik
/tg/: Da Boyz, Dorfs, Neutronium Golem, Urza
/book/: Don Quixote, The Cullens, Harry Potter, Vimes, Wedge Antilles, Jean Valjean, Edmond Dantès
/k/ - Simo Hayah, Ernst Udet, Mikhail Kalashnikov, Eugene Stoner, Patton, Putin
/ck/ - Alton Brown, Iron Chef Chairman
Real life (general): David Bowie, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr., Freddie Mercury, da Vinci, LRH, Jamiroquai, Dave Chapelle, Neil Gaiman, Lewis Black
Misc - /co/nrad and the Board Tans

>> No.5302733
File: 30 KB, 300x400, ironmaiden.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302733

>>5302670
Hey, I wouldn't mind if I had 13 again.

>> No.5302734

>>5302706
Boredom?
Butthurt?
Fear?

I dunno. You all seem to be scared that a female has entered a MALE ONLY zone and are going apeshit. Once she leaves you'll all start high-fiving each other and yelling, "YEAH WE SHOWED THAT DUMB BITCH!" when in reality you were all about to shit your pants.

>> No.5302735

Zelda is so racist. The good guys are all white blond-haired Aryan types, and the bad guy is a brown-skinned man with a pronounced nose.

Other races like gorons and zora are considered "good" because they submit to the Hylians.

Not the gerudo, though. Nope. They want to be independent and refuse to be dominated, therefore they are "evil."

Say, doesn't Hylian kinda sound like Aryan?

Ganon wants to create "a world of darkness," because obviously a world not ruled by white people = darkness and chaos amirite?

Link is the chosen hero because he has the blood of ancient Hylian warriors. He's a hero because of his blood? In other words, he's automatically the hero because his ancestors are white?

Master Sword, huh? Is that like the master race?

The Triforce is a KKK symbol.

The final boss of Zelda 2 is Shadow Link, who is exactly like Link except he is black.

Nice pointy hat, Link. Was KKK-mart having a sale?

>> No.5302741

>>5301762

Here's a pretty straight-forward question for you... Why on Earth did you start this thread? It seems like an awful waste of time, especially considering the inevitable outcome of threads such as these.

>> No.5302744

>> I've just realized... America is shit. Britain ruled the world for hundreds of years and we can't even take down Vietnam and get constantly bullied by shitty countries like NK and Iran. The realization just hit me, holy shit.

yea making fun of the united states is so funny, so funny i forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander you're in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic SHIT!

>> No.5302746

I got into anime by my brother bringing home things like Berserk and Ninja Scroll and all sorts of shit with tons of unnecessary violence. Then my brohter left, and it was up to me to find my own anime. Well like most people did I went with some of the most popular shit, one of them being Elfen Lied. Well it started off with the unnecessary violence, that much was clear. But the second they started introducing the characters I wanted to stop watching. It was obvious it was going to be a pile of unsubtle shit from the very beginning. I mean it becomes insulting to the viewer, that I watched up through the second episode is a testament to my strength. I'll never attempt that again.

>> No.5302753

I seem to have lied about leaving! Oops.

>>5302637
I think guys who are romantics are really sweet, and most girls I know who date guys do too! It's sometimes harder for them to find girls to be with because girls often go after Cool Guys (read: who end up being douchebags) but ultimately, Nice Guys are going to be the ones in long-term, stable relationships. I wouldn't think your request was strange at all, so long as you were someone I felt comfortable with! Good luck, bro, stick with it. You'll find a romantic girl someday!

>>5302640
Finding someone "moe" does not mean I am sexually attracted to them. The dudes I find moe are the sort of people I find very endearing, whom I would like to be friends with. It does not mean I want to bang them.

If you'll follow my conversation with the Anon I was talking to in >>5302420, you will see that I was merely playing along with a joke, as I have no intention of literally taking him out to a movie or ending up in his freezer. I'm sorry that the humor eluded you!

In conclusion, I am neither going against my own words nor unable to befriend individuals without the use of my femininity, I have merely voiced my sexual attraction to women and my platonic weak spot for moe dudes, and engaged in playful banter with one of a handful of anons not infuriated by my posting.

Take that.

>> No.5302755

>>5302734
4chan is the same as the outside world. It's the old boys club. People like to act like 4chan is a retreat from the bullshit of the real world, but it's not. It is still just like the outside world. Heterosexual white males dominate and keep everyone else down through browbeating and force of will. This is no intellectual haven or anything.

>> No.5302757

Is our janitor seriously deleting things in this thread and leaving the thread? What the hell.

>> No.5302758

alright so im tryin to go home from the skatepark, take a shower and go up to river riot with some pplz, (river riot brings way to fuckin many people) and ive been in the same spot for almost a fuckin hour now. so im like fuck this shit and decide to drive down the emergency lane. lol right past the cops that are directing traffic. dude flags me down i slow down and wait till he gets close and just keep goin haha. fuck them they dont even fuckin know how to direct traffic so they aint gonna give me no fuckin ticket for drivin on the wrong part of the road and the faggot would of also gave me one for my subs just to be a dick. man he got so pissed when i smiled at him as i went by. he went and ran to his car but could go anywhere becase his car was on the other side of the cars. so i just cruzed like 6 miles down the emergency road to get home lol.

>> No.5302763

>>5302741
It started out nice and civilized and then the tripfags came in and unleashed their immaturity upon the thread and, like a lamb to slaughter, other Anons followed suit. You're all sheep.

I hope none of you act the way you do here IRL.

>> No.5302768

I want to be the best, there ever was
To beat all the rest, yeah that's my cause!

Radiatore, Pipe, Barbina, Manti
Quadrefiore, Rigate, Fiori, Pici
Stelle, Orzo, Pearl Pasta, Ditali
Pastina, Mezzelune, Fregula, Ravioli!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta cook'em all!
Pasta!

I'll search across the land, look far and wide
Release from my hand, the power that's inside!

Fideos, Trenette, Tagliatelle, Couscous
Bigoli, Pipe, Reginette, Mafalde
Fusilli, Fuzi, Al dente, Lanterne
Capelli d'angelo, Pennette, Trenne!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta cook'em all!
Pasta!

Funghini, Spätzle, Trennette, Trofie
Cencioni, Fideuà, Cellentani, Marille
Alphabet pasta, Capunti, Gramigna
Calamaretti , Ditalini, Lasagna!

Gotta cook'em all, gotta cook'em all!
Yeah!
Gotta cook'em all, gotta cook'em all!
Yeah!

Gotta' cook'em all, pasta! Ow!

Spaghetti, Ptitim, Fantolioni, Farfel
Fettuccine , Cappelletti!
Anellini, Croxetti, Strangolapreti
Orecchiette, Spirali, Strozzapreti!

At least 68, or more to see
To be a cooking master is my destiny!

Woah! Catch yer breath, man
Shake out those lips and loosen that tongue!
It's downhill from here
Just 24 more to go!
Now it gets tricky - so listen real good!

Sorrentini, Israeli couscous, Pelmeni
Risi, Fagottini, Tuffoli, Gnocchi
Rotini, Kreplach, Egg barley, Tortiglioni
Gigli, Rigatoni!!!
We're almost home!

Gotta cook'em all, gotta cook'em all!
Yow!
Gotta cook'em all, gotta cook'em all!
Huh!

Cannelloni, Casunziei, Penne, Gemelli, Panzerotti
Farfalle, Torchio, Foglie d'ulivo, that's all folks!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Oooh, gotta' cook'em all, Pasta!
Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Oooh, gotta' catch 'em all, Pasta!
Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta' cook'em all! Pasta!

>> No.5302770

>>5302763
It's not possible to have a nice thread with that topic. Thread started off bad, ended bad.

>> No.5302771
File: 357 KB, 640x480, 1275248460390.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302771

>>5302734
You are right. We are scared of another girl being on /jp/.

Because they only come here to bring problems.

As you did.

And your thread is illegal and your f**** janitor does not delete this. Well, put it deep in your ass then until you touch your inflamated prostate. I am tired of this bullshit.

>> No.5302773

>>5302757
Janitors play favorites just like anyone else.

>> No.5302777

Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold.

Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say...it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help.

The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiian sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue.

Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate.

Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiian happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie.

>> No.5302785

Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope.

He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body.


Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in.

"Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.

>> No.5302786

>>5302734
Different anon here. I happen to be female, and the reason I want Miss !6ZMm4BOpR. to get off /jp/ is so that she'll stop giving my gender a bad name. Nobody gives a fuck whether you're male or female until you make it an issue. She's making it an issue and blatantly enjoying the attention she's getting for it. It's ridiculous.

>> No.5302790

>>5302763
Ah yes, the trip users. Everyone's favorite scapegoat.

I personally blame trip users for the oil spill in the Gulf, as well as the bad economy.

>> No.5302791

>>5302757
Maybe the janitor realizes that there's no rule against metathreads, just a few butthurt fags who think there is.

>> No.5302792

>>5302771
Girls don't have a prostate anon, learn to anatomy please.

And Suigin take off your trip when you spam shit you dumbass.

>> No.5302797

I could feel Asakura lifting her knife up. Where would she start? The throat arteries, heart? If I knew how I was going to die, I could at least be prepared. At least let me close my eyes...what's this!?

I suddenly felt the air shake. The knife began to fall upon me... At this moment, the ceiling gave out a loud cracking noise, followed by debris falling down. A loud booming hiss which seemed to sound like "Have you read your SICP today?" filled the air. I lifted my head and discovered... Standing in front, catching the blade with his crotch-snake, was the robed figure of The Sussman.

>> No.5302806
File: 112 KB, 500x373, 3095692617_2b31d893d0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302806

>>5302771
Girls don't have prostates, munyuuu~

>> No.5302809

"You and your forced indentation." The Sussman said in his usual expressionless tone, "You think you can defy my power?"

"You want to get in my way?" Asakura sounded calm. "Once I kill this person, Suzumiya Haruhi is bound to have some sort of reaction. Only then can we obtain more cudders."
"You are supposed to be my backup." The Sussman said in a mantra-like tone, "This sort of insubordination is forbidden; you must obey my commands."

"What if I refuse?"
"Then I will send you to the land of Java."
"Would you like to try? I have the advantage here, since this classroom belongs to MIT."
The Sussman removed his wizard hat and set it on the floor before removing a wand from a pocket on his robe. He pointed it at the knife in her hand and murmured. Shortly after, it started glowing brightly. Then, like the sugar cube being placed into a cup of tea, it slowly crystallized and dissolved and fell towards the floor like powder.

>> No.5302810

>>5301762
I hate this thread because it is not /jp/ related, whore yourself off on /b/.

>> No.5302814

>>5302753
>It's sometimes harder for them to find girls to be with because girls often go after Cool Guys (read: who end up being douchebags) but ultimately, Nice Guys are going to be the ones in long-term, stable relationships.

But I do not want some 'broken' girl that's been treated like shit and packed with emotional baggage because of her own ignorance to date men who she fully knew would treat her bad. It's almost as if girls spend their teens and twenties going out with men who're the scum of the Earth and then when 30+ hits they decide it's time to settle down and they go out and try to snag a 'nice' guy when they themselves have gaping vaginae from being pounded out in their early years and they look as if they've been rode hard and put up wet.

And they wonder why it's hard to get married and for men to notice them when they're older and unmarried. There IS a reason for it ladies.

>> No.5302817
File: 479 KB, 426x267, 1223177443961.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302817

>>5302753
>I was merely playing along with a joke, as I have no intention of literally taking him out to a movie or ending up in his freezer. I'm sorry

Oh. Oh, okay !6ZMm4BOpR, okay.

I'm a little sad to find this out, I guess, but I can take a joke. I can see how this is funny. Although, I thought you were different than all the others...

>> No.5302819 [DELETED] 

Asakura released the knife and jumped five meters away. Opening up the distance in an instant, Asakura landed elegantly and continued smiling as usual. The Sussman raised his wand and pointed it directly at the ceiling, not taking his eyes off Asakura. The wand released a wave of glowing white parentheses and the space around The Sussman began to distort.

"It's time for some ENTERPRISE QUALITY!" Asakura cheerfully cried as she conjured the spirits of the JVM, producing a flood of boiling-hot coffee that rushed its way towards The Sussman, who stood motionless, parentheses continuing to issue from his wand like electromagnetic radiation.
"You think your turkey solutions can stop me?" The Sussman said calmly before lowering his wand, forming the pool of parentheses now gathered around him into a sharp pointed cone aimed at Asakura. Suddenly he shouted "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISP!" and the parentheses shot forward into the waves of coffee, pushing the boiling hot liquid back towards where it came.

"Nooooooo....." her cries became weaker as she became engulfed in the dark brown liquid. Everything turned black and I felt as though I had fainted. I awoke to a familiar voice.

"...before we do that for the next couple of lectures we're gonna be talking about..."

I opened my eyes and raised my head to find myself seated in a lecture theater. I glanced at the clock and found that I had missed most of the lecture. "Damnit! I was looking forward to the first lecture of the last semester of 6.001!" I thought to myself.

>> No.5302820

>>5302786
>>I happen to be female, and the reason I want Miss !6ZMm4BOpR. to get off /jp/ is so that she'll stop giving my gender a bad name.

Further proof that girls are the only ones who actually get mad when other girls reveal their gender.

>> No.5302823
File: 25 KB, 500x500, doubles_bean.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302823

>>5302806
dat bean

>> No.5302829
File: 5 KB, 180x157, spoiler.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302829

>>5302792

I wasn't talking about the bitch, anon. I was talking about the one deleting my posts here, and leaving this shit here.

I repeat, if you want a shitty board, just tell me and I will make this the shittiest board ever, with the worst threads you could imagine, spam, trollfests, and that short of things.

Just let me know when you want it.

And NEVER EVER delete another flockdraw thread again, unless you want it spammed over all your stupid boards.

>> No.5302833 [DELETED] 

"Umm... no," I responded weakly. Suddenly his head looked a lot darker than it was a moment ago, and an evil grin appeared across his face. The bus's doors slammed shut and The Sussman's face turned an almost negroid black. His left hand shot at me and I could see that it was not a hand, but the head of a snake which protruded from its end. I turned around and ran towards the back of the articulated bus.
"Let me show you the power of Satori," The Sussman said in a deep hiss. His snakelike arm extended from his body towards me as I continued to run for what seemed like eternity towards the longbus's rear door.

"Longbus is loooooooooooooooooooooong", I thought to myself as I continued to run, the snake's head fast approaching. The bus seemed to go on forever. After a while, I passed the driver's seat. WTF, I thought. Ahead of me was The Sussman, standing in the aisle facing the same direction as me, with his left arm pointed forward.

>> No.5302836

So why did the janitor clean up parts of the thread but not remove this?

>> No.5302837

I looked behind me, and saw the snake head was still approaching; I had managed to outrun it for a bit, and it was racing towards me. RECURSION! I jumped into the stepwell just as the head gained a sudden burst of speed, piercing through The Sussman and sending bright glowing parentheses everywhere. I watched first his body, then his hands disintegrate in the same manner that the head had earlier. The long black arm, floating in mid-air, slowly disappeared into a cloud of these glowing parentheses, and the snake's head, which I now noticed had come through the windscreen along with me, did the same after a few moments.

I stepped over to the driver's seat, looking for the door release switch. I found what appeared to be the switch and toggled it, but the doors did not open. Shortly after, a low hissing sound emanated from the bus itself, followed by the loud booming cry of "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?", which felt as if it was coming from inside my head. Suddenly everything turned black.

I awoke to find myself still inside that mysterious bus, which was completely empty. The engine was still running, and it was still parked outside the library. "The library! Of course!" I thought to myself. As if my mind had been read, the front doors swung open and I ran from the bus toward the library, which also looked empty. I entered the building and frantically ran to where I had found the prized book earlier. The book was still there, and I grabbed it instinctively, then walked to the checkout. All but one counter was open, and there was a little Asian girl standing there; the place was deserted except for me and her. I put the book on the counter and she looked at it for a moment, then at me. "Have you read your SICP today?" she asked.

>> No.5302839
File: 31 KB, 300x300, !BR7ew4!BWk~$(KGrHgoOKj8EjlLmUE61BK!hzPumLg~~_1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302839

Here's China, this thread is now /jp/ related.

>> No.5302840
File: 272 KB, 408x469, misty_smirkan.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302840

>>5302829
Uh-oh, internet terrorist here, lol

>> No.5302841

>>5301762
Hi, /jp/. I know 90% of you will hate this thread because 3D pig disgusting, but I wondered if some of you bros might have questions for a real guy.

This isn't a camwhore thread, just a chance to talk to a non-2D guy for a little. In before rage, 3DPD and reports. I have a waifu just like you, we're really not so different.

>> No.5302849

>>5302836
I dunno. Why don't you call him and ask him?

>> No.5302850

>>5302820
Are you insinuating that all of the many varieties of "GTFO" posted in this thread were all samefagging women?

>> No.5302851 [DELETED] 

"You too?" I replied. "Have some tits and then GTFO and read your SICP!", she angrily shouted, then pulled up her shirt to show me her tits. She shoved the book into my hands and then disappeared spontaneously.

I left the library, and waited at the bus stop. The previous bus was no longer there. The girl I saw earlier walked up to me and looked at the Wizard Book I was holding, then glanced down at my crotch.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING STANDING THERE LIKE AN IDIOT? READ IT!" she suddenly shouted. Astounded, I quickly opened the book and started to read the first chapter. I was so intrigued by the book that I didn't notice she had begun to give me a blowjob. When I looked down, she took her mouth from my cock to angrily shout "GO BACK TO READING YOUR SICP" and so I did. I didn't even notice that I came until after she told me to stop reading. A short while later, the bus arrived.

>> No.5302853

>>5302850
Maybe there's just really that many females.

>> No.5302855 [DELETED] 

Hello /b/, I am a 17-year-old cumdumpster and I have been lurking since October of 2007. The following post is not copypasta, but rather, my entirely true story.

I am a weeaboo, and about six months ago, I started watching Yugioh, not expecting myself to get into it at all. However, as the series progressed, I found myself feeling further and further infatuated with Seto Kaiba. Before long, I was thinking about him nonstop. After several weeks of trouble in school and the like since I could only focus on him, I came to the conclusion that I was in love with him.

So there you have it: I'm in love with Seto Kaiba. All of my fantasies center around him, and I cannot stand the idea of being with anyone else. I know he is not real, however, and this very fact troubles me more each day. Certainly you must know of a way for me to not only make him real, but for him to fall as deeply in love with me as I have with him. I know that, this being /b/, you'll probably only respond to this with "tits or GTFO", "no wimminz on the Internets" and the like, but if anyone here still does have a shred of humanity within them, please help me. There is nothing I want more than to be with him.

>> No.5302858

>>5302850

Yes.

>> No.5302860
File: 361 KB, 800x800, 938bce94f02b6b1d2e35a62795aa6a5a_6_ib4f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302860

>>5302839
China calms me down.

>> No.5302866 [DELETED] 

Ok i was at the YMCA swimming pool and me and this girl are good friends. So outside she was saying like we should go to family change room. I was wondering why, but i didnt question her. So when we entered i went to the change room, and she said she will stay outside at the lockers and change. Because nobody was there. And after i changed into my swimming trunks i jumped out of the changing booth and bam~ she was standing there exposing her but. Then she turned around to get something out of her swimming bag. and i saw her front body parts. It was my first time seeing a naked girl in real life, and i was shocked that her V*GINA had hair on it, and i didnt have any hair since im a late bloomer. She screamed at me and i ran out and said sorry on msn. And she wont even talk to me anymore! how do i get her to be my friend again...i dont want our friendship to be broken just cuz i saw her with fully naked??

>> No.5302869

I hope Suigin gets a monthlong timeout for his misdeeds today

>> No.5302873

You people are idiots. There are no women here, just a few people who claim to be.

>> No.5302874

Breaking news: Suigin is a /b/tard

>> No.5302875

>>5302853
I'm pretty sure you're a relatively intelligent individual, Mr or Ms Anonymous, at least as intelligent an individual as one who browses 4chan can be. Such an intelligent individual as that would surely recognise that the theory they are postulating is ridiculous and realistically incredibly unlikely, no?

>> No.5302876 [DELETED] 

Hey humans,

My name is Japanese Bird, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day thinking of ways to cook up that terrible noodle known as ramen. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever made spaghetti? I mean, I guess it's fun cooking ramen for the billionth time because you don't have the courage nor power level to cook spaghetti, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than claiming udon is the best noodle in the world.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I've cooked spaghetti for many world leaders and mob bosses, and my spaghetti won best of show in the 238th World Spaghetti Show. What other noodles do you cook, other than that cheap ass cellophane noodle? Unlike you, girls throw themeselves at me, and I have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me cooking spaghetti.

>> No.5302877
File: 7 KB, 143x200, d7000556db6ed2297270ce4fda328eaa_6s_ib4f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302877

>> No.5302880

>>5302814
Women can come to the realization that they want to be with a nice guy before their vaginas are inside-out, bro. And not every girl has to go through a million shitty relationships with douchebags to realize that. Not every girl who wants to date a nice guy is going to be damaged goods.

>>5302786
Honey, you'll be fine, I promise. God forbid I ~embarrass our gender~ on 4chan, no one will even remember this tomorrow.

>>5302817
H..hey now, I didn't.. I didn't mean it like that! I mean, I was just... downplaying it a little, so they wouldn't question my motives...

Man, I feel like shit now. I bought you some rubber gloves for tonight and everything.. I'm so sorry for hurting you, anon... ;_;

Okay, now I really actually am going out (HOLY SHIT) for a while, I'll see you guys later, if this thread's still around!

>> No.5302883

i have been hacking seince i was 7 (im 13 now) my parents supported it, and it has helped many people, i have helped add security to sites by testing security, and there is a whole group of hackers im a part of at hackthissite.org hackers arnt bad, those are "crakers" who are mindless morons, you sir are the idiot, you trust the media, you didnt research you are the bad one. i have hacked many things but, for good. are you saying a site about killing people becuse of there race and supports it should stay up?? is that better than hacking?? i have hacked a site like that and shut it down. think im bad? F*ck you!!
i have broken some laws but, for good reasons, the government makes you think hacking is bad because the govrnment fears us, but us hackers dont fear them, so the government uses people whot think there hackers and shows them on tv then, people think thats what a hacker is. hacker acually means "one who is experienced in computers and problem solving" i think i have done good, and that i dont hack like black hats who are morons (pretty much "crackers") i hope i will change your opinion.

>> No.5302884

>>5302875
That's right, I forgot. Everyone posting on /jp/ is a 20-something white male enrolled in college, who is unemployed and a virgin, and also a pedophile. Forgive me, how could I forget something so blatantly obvious.

>> No.5302886
File: 13 KB, 270x290, CharlesManson123.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302886

My children, please let us be calm and collected! Nothing good ever comes out of throwing a temper tantrum! Just push yourself away from your keyboard, take a few deep breaths and reach that inner zen....

Peace, tranquility......find that power animal my children! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

>> No.5302891

Dinosaurs are one of the coolest things from my childhood, and I remember all the dinos-- MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL ABOUT THEM? MOTHERFUCKER, I WANT A CUTE LITTLE VELOCIRAPTOR AS A PET, TO CUDDLE UP WITH HIS FEATHERS AND EVERYTHING. I DON'T MEAN A JURASSIC PARK VELOCIRAPTOR EITHER, THAT'S A DIENONYCHUS, I'M TALKING ABOUT A REAL VELOCIRAPTOR. ABOUT THE SIZE OF A CAT, AND IT'S A PACK ANIMAL, SO IT WOULD BE LIKE HAVING A TWO LEGGED DOG COVERED IN FEATHERS. I'D TOTALLY NAME HIM SOMETHING AWESOME, LIKE NATHANIEL OR SOMETHING, AND I'D CARRY HIM AROUND WITH ME, AND MAYBE TEACH HIM TO STAND ON MY SHOULDER, AND ALL THE GIRLS WOULD BE ALL OVER IT, THEY'D BE "OH, ENGARDE, THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE RAPTOR YOU'VE GOT THERE, CAN I PET HIM?" AND I'D BE LIKE, "WELL, SURE YOU CAN, NATHANIEL LIKES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN." AND THEN SHE'D BE ALL BLUSHY, AND WE'D START A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ABOUT RAPTORS, BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE DINOSAURS.
I'D HAVE NATHANIEL SIT ON MY DESK AND KEEP ME COMPANY ALL DAY.

>> No.5302892

Hey OP guess what? I'm female too. But you don't see me going around and attention whoring and making loads of threads stating my gender do you? Also
>229 posts and 47 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.
I'm disappointed in you /jp/. This isn't even a /jp/-related thread.

>> No.5302898
File: 497 KB, 1000x730, 1274563429857.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302898

I am angry at this thread again.

>> No.5302903

At precisely 11:59 PM GMT, I press "play" on my sound system, a CD containing a masterful rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" prepares to play at ear-shattering volumes. I strip the glove quickly before the CD begins, throwing it hastily out of sight. Should I fail to throw it far enough, I must stop the CD player before the pre-arranged five second silence is finished. That day, there will be no pleasure.

Should the glove be out of sight and out of mind, all is well. I sit back, and let the vibrations of sound finish the job. I stare at the only image that has yet fulfilled my criteria for arousal, and a glorious geyser of semen erupts from my penis, splattering every which way in the room. I sit in a half-conscious daze of joy for nearly half an hour before I prepare for the hour-long task of cleansing my computer room once again.

Even as I finish up, I hear the fading whispers in my delusional mind from the image which I stare at so deeply.

Now if you'll pardon me, I shall take my leave and indulge myself in delicious pudding confectionaries before it is time for self-pleasure.

>> No.5302905

>>5302892
No such thing as a /jp/-related thread anymore. There is only chaos.

>> No.5302907

>>5302880
Firstly,
>before their vaginas are inside-out, bro
OW.

Secondly, make no mistake: it's your blatant attention whoring that bothers me more than the idea that this thread will ~shame our gender~ in the eyes of the already jaded inhabitants of 4chan. I suggest you take some nude pics and post them to /b/; you'll find a much more receptive audience there. :)

>> No.5302912

>>5302892
Just shows every girl that finds this place is new here since they all leave quickly.
The most successful threads are the metathreads.

>> No.5302915

>>5302884
>Everyone posting on /jp/ is a 20-something white male enrolled in college, who is unemployed and a virgin, and also a pedophile.

And if you do not fit ANY of these criteria and prerequisites your are not a TRUE /jp/ Anon! You need to GTFO and leave the unemployed, 20 something virgin pedophiles alone! YOU NORMLAFAG

>> No.5302917

>>5302884
I'm not

>> No.5302918 [DELETED] 

Suigin, why are you such an idiot? You jaundiced jumped up, vercordiously pusillanimous piffle. Your vileseome existence nauseates me beyond compare. It is politically correct when discussing your faults to use certain words to denote your humanness above your disability. But in your case, there is nothing human. You are just challenged, you are just different. Given a choice of stepping in something nasty on the sidewalk, or bidding you good morning, I would happily choose the former. Single-handedly, you have wrenched all meaning out of life. Congratulations. As I write this I try vainly to think of something, anything, which redeems in some small way your utterly pointless existence. The only thing that comes to mind is that you have taught me hate. Pure, unmitigated hate. I have had fantasies about attacking you with a machete, but I dare not. I once cut up a starfish, which was so neurologically simple that each piece grew into a clone of the original. Your coleopteron brain no doubt shares certain appalling similarities with such creatures. You, misguided as you are, might be asking yourself what you have done to deserve such a letter as this. Your misdeeds and villainous vampings can be described in just two words: you exist. And believe me, there is no reason on earth why you should. How do you justify to yourself waking up each morning and ruining yet another day? If everything in this world has some purpose, some grand plan behind its existence, then yours surely is to show everything else, whether it be a slops bucket in a fried chicken stand, or the gunk behind the fridge, how fortunate it is not to be you. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature.

>> No.5302924 [DELETED] 

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
* Second, you need to succeed in founding a Lisp-related meme in /prog/ on world4chan, a popular "programming for trolls" website.
* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.


//`'''```,
o //SICP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co

>> No.5302925

>>5302917
OMFG RAEG GET OUT OF MY SECRET CLUB YOU FAGGOT DIAF FFFFFFFFFFF RAEGGING MOTHERFUCKIGN SHITFARTS FUCKING DOGCOCK HORSEANUS MOTHERUFCKING NUSTSACK LIKCING SHITDUSTER ARRGHHH

>> No.5302932

>>5302912
6 years on 4chan.
6+ months on /jp/.
I'll still be here after this thread dies, I just won't be posting about being a girl anymore. But okay!

>> No.5302934

>>5302892
The one you should be disappointed in is the janitor not only leaving this thread up but removing any reports.

>> No.5302938

>>5302875
Girls love the stuff we talk about in /jp/. Anyways, the "girls hate it when other girls reveal their gender" theory was already confirmed by past female posters.

Also, girls are god-tier when it comes to trolling.

>> No.5302942

I love how we're getting all the "I'm disappointed in you /jp/' posts.

I didn't know every thread or post someones makes is supposed to be good enough to make you proud. You think anyone gives a damn that you're disappointed?

>> No.5302943 [DELETED] 

I was taught assembler
in my second year of school.
It's kinda like construction work --
with a toothpick for a tool.
So when I made my senior year,
I threw my code away,
And learned the way to program
that I still prefer today.
Now, some folks on the Internet
put their faith in C++.
They swear that it's so powerful,
it's what God used for us.
And maybe it lets mortals dredge
their objects from the C.
But I think that explains
why only God can make a tree.
For God wrote in Lisp code
When he filled the leaves with green.
The fractal flowers and recursive roots:
The most lovely hack I've seen.
And when I ponder snowflakes,
never finding two the same,
I know God likes a language
with its own four-letter name.
Now, I've used a SUN under Unix,
so I've seen what C can hold.
I've surfed for Perls, found what Fortran's for,
Got that Java stuff down cold.
Though the chance that I'd write COBOL code

>> No.5302944

>>5302886
No one believes in /jp/. That's why it's shit.

>> No.5302947 [SPOILER] 
File: 125 KB, 1280x720, rin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302947

>241 posts and 50 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

>> No.5302951

>>5302938
Depends on what you consider good trolling. If it's a thread that can get replies than yes, otherwise they troll in a pretty bad way.

>> No.5302956
File: 56 KB, 799x901, 1264744321724.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302956

>>5302938

>> No.5302957
File: 34 KB, 300x370, nerd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5302957

>>5302884
Hi! I am your janitor. I am a 20-something white male enrolled in colege, unemployed and pedophile. That's why I like threads made by anon girls.

>> No.5302958 [DELETED] 

On one stormy night, the sky bright with thunder
knock knock at the door - who is that, I ponder
I dash to the gate, open it, I sunder
'tis a filthy snake, at my mat, down under!
I speak carefully, not to make a blunder:

``who be thee, thou spawn of evil?
beast from before medieval
serpent! the tempter primeval!''
-- in my soul a great upheaval
``demon! how come you were tapping?
at my door so gently rapping?
limbless, cursed to move by wrapping!''

The slimy beast hissed, and so before my eyes
I beheld a man - in appearance so wise
I recognised him, now without the disguise
My throat unleashing so desperate cries:

``Infidel! Once a great wizard,
now a slimy tricky lizard
stealing through the flames and blizzard
what be thy business, ex-wizard?''

Thus he spake, the voice bestowed:
``son, you walk the evil road
all what I have you once shown
all what you thanks to me own
now shall within you explode
and have I so forebode:
not through Scheme does point the road
in my mind had always flowed:
FORCED INDENTATION OF CODE''

>> No.5302961

>>5302942
I'm perpetually disappointed in /jp/ I just feel the need to express it in every thread.

I also like to reaffirm that the sky is blue and that water is wet.

>> No.5302965

>>5302905
Ah, I see. What a shame.

>> No.5302970 [DELETED] 

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

>> No.5302973

>>5302763

My previous post is a good presentation of my usual tone, online and off. I don't have a reason to act like a retarded ass....Besides, I'm far too old for that nonsense anyway.

>> No.5302974

>>5302957
Meido this fag is calling you out. Are you gonna sit here and take this?

>> No.5302976

>>5302884
That describes me to a T. I'm not sure how I should feel about this.

>> No.5302979

>>5302961
Looks like someone's afraid no one will notice their opinion. Do you need some attention too? :3

>> No.5302982 [DELETED] 

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

>> No.5302985

Meido is a faggot. I've been calling him that ever since he deleted my comment on Spice and Wolf.

>> No.5302990 [DELETED] 

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

>> No.5302992

>>5302976
It describes everyone here to a T. Because nobody, I repeat, NOBODY, deviates from that template. Got it?
Conform.
Conform.
Conform.
Conform.

>> No.5302996 [DELETED] 

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

>> No.5303000

This thread has made me realize something - the fact that /jp/ is supposed to take it easy and just let things flow. However... just look at how many people are pissed off in here.

This is not the /jp/ we used to know, guys. Even Suigin, who I thought that was completely impervious to trolls (and even used to defeat them), has started spamming here.

Just... what the fuck happened.

>> No.5303002
File: 249 KB, 1224x1632, CIMG1749.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303002

Hey /jp/.

I just spent 3 months of money saving on a Gibson LP standard so I can be more close to Yui. Is this awesome?

>> No.5303006 [DELETED] 

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up croma lisp* my name is patrick collison but u can call me t3h LiSpNiK oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very lisp!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet lispers like me ^_^... im 19 years old (im very lisp 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch sussman & abelson w/ my boyfreind (im web 2.0 if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favourite tv show!!! bcuz its so lisp!!!!! hes lisp 2 of course but i want 2 meet more lisp ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein lispy again ^_^ hehe...toodles

>> No.5303008

>>5303000
Suigin has always spammed shit like this

>> No.5303009

>>5302884

>Everyone posting on /jp/ is a 20-something white male enrolled in college, who is unemployed and a virgin, and also a pedophile.

I resent that! I'm a 33 year old white male with a very high paying job.......

>> No.5303015 [DELETED] 

HI, I AM G.J. SUSSMAN, FOUNDER AND CEO OF SICP. WHILE LAMENTING OVER THE LACK OF FORCED INDENTATION IN SCHEME LAST NIGHT, YOUR MOTHER CALLED ME AND ASKED ME IF I WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO HELP HER WITH A SICP EXERCISE; BEING THE FINE GENTLEMAN THAT I AM, I PUT ON MY DAPPER WIZARD HAT AND ROBE AND WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE. ROGUISHLY SNEAKING THROUGH THE BACK DOOR I KNOCKED HER OUT WITH A CUDDER AND TORE THE GARMENTS OFF HER RIPE BODY. HER FULL BREASTS AROUSED ME TO THE DEGREE THAT MY EVALUATOR STOOD STRAIGHT IN THE TIME IT TAKES TO DO A LAZY COMPUTATION. NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTAIN MYSELF, I SHOVED MY RIGHTEOUS SUSSBOY IN THE MANHOLE OF THE FINE LASS. IT WAS OBVIOUSLY NOT DESIGNED FOR A MAN OF MY OBSCENE GIRTH, AND SHE WOKE UP FROM THE PAIN. NOT CARING ABOUT ANYTHING BUT MY MANLINESS, I CONTINUED THRUSTING AS SHE FAINTED AGAIN FROM THE AGONIZING TORTURE OF THE TRIPEDAL CREATURE LOOMING OVER HER. IN A MINUTE I WAS ABOUT TO EXPLODE WITH THE FORCE OF SEVERAL ANGRY SUPERNOVAS IN A SACK, . THE FLOOD CAME, AND LIKE MOSES I CLEAVED HER IN HALF FROM THE SHOCK. NOT STOPPING, I SHOVED THE HOSE IN HER EYE SOCKET AND LET THE REST OF THE SAUCE ENTER HER SKULL. AFTER THAT I WENT HOME AND READ SICP UNTIL I FELL ASLEEP. I GUARANTEE IT.

>> No.5303016

>>5303000
>take it easy

There is no such thing anymore. It's always U MAD U MAD U MAD U MAD U MAD U MAD BUTTHURT R U FRUSTRATED!?!?!? U MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's sad.

>> No.5303017

>>5303000
It gets pretty hard to take it easy when you've got people with more power intentionally trying to aggravate you and shit up the place.

>> No.5303018

>>5302880
>H..hey now, I didn't.. I didn't mean it like that! I mean, I was just... downplaying it a little, so they wouldn't question my motives...

>Man, I feel like shit now. I bought you some rubber gloves for tonight and everything.. I'm so sorry for hurting you, anon... ;_;

I'm happy to hear that, !6ZMm4BOpR. I--I am really happy to hear that.

I know I'm not always an easy person to be with. It's not that I'm like this on purpose, it's just the way I am, and it can be so hard to find someone who understands this.

That said, I don't want you to feel bad for hurting me. I'm vulnerable emotionally, but it isn't like I don't enjoy feeling pain.

In fact, if you're still coming over tonight, maybe you could strap me on the wooden horse and hurt me a bit.

...that is, if you still want to come over...

>> No.5303020

>>5303000
Summer and HURR HURR IMMA GRRRRRLL LOOK AT ME GUYS!!!!!! threads. Hell, I thought attention whoring pissed everyone off.

>> No.5303025 [DELETED] 

Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is.

>> No.5303029
File: 88 KB, 800x800, 1274392fs4677.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303029

>>5303000
We're at war. Janitor betrayed us because of a stupid bitch. Now this is a fucking battlefield.

If you want to live, get out of here! Run away to /a/ or something.

We will fight untill the end!

>> No.5303036

>>5303000
Someone didn't conform like you were all ordered to, you tools. Differences must be hammered back in line. Diversity cannot be tolerated. Opinions cannot be tolerated. Expression cannot and will not be tolerated. Get back in line and quietly post Touhou pictures then this won't have to happen again.

>> No.5303037
File: 35 KB, 200x200, 1273166995877.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303037

This isn't like you /jp/.
Take it easy.

>> No.5303038 [DELETED] 

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

>> No.5303040

>>5303000

>Suigin

Is a newfag.

>> No.5303046
File: 258 KB, 367x546, USB..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303046

>>5303029
>We're at war

I'LL PROTECT THE CHILDREN

>> No.5303048 [DELETED] 

In Alice's bedroom with the door shut behind them, the magician began to remove the soiled dress of the witch; however, she was met with a forceful hand.

"What are you doing ze~? I don't need your help," muddled Marisa with the slightest hint of red in her cheek. "I can do this myself. Also, what are those things..." she pointed to her bed. Alice picked up one of the white objects; "those can't be..." the magician nodded.

Marisa signed with a hint of disgust, "You get weirder everyday, doll freak..." A thought occurred. "Hey, wait, why do you even have those things?" Hesitant, Alice lifted her skirt and revealed that she herself was wearing a diaper. Despite the humility that bestowed onto Marisa minutes ago, a smile came to her face. "So it is true, you do lea..."

Alice forcefully grunted and a trio of dolls surrounded the witch. One quickly flew behind Marisa and untied her apron and the other two grabbed the straps of her dress and lifted it over her head; the dolls then flew off with the garments. Before the black-white had a chance to fight it, she stood in Alice's bedroom with nothing but her shirt and soaked bloomers.

Alice, face redden, placed her hand on the witch's shoulders and led her to her bed. Marisa, unsure of what she should do, was forcefully seated on the edge and pushed back by the doll otaku.

>> No.5303050
File: 114 KB, 1280x720, jones sipping water.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303050

HOURLY BUMP NIPAA

>> No.5303052

>>5303000
Don't be silly; Suigin's Aikido kopipe is the very definition of taking it easy.

>> No.5303053

>>5303000
No, you don't understand. Claiming you're a female on /jp/, regardless of whether that fact is true or not, has always been equivalent to 200+ reply threads. Suigin knows this and doesn't even bother saying "Guys don't respond to it" anymore, because people are bound to do so. Yet, we can't resort to imagebombing, so copypasta dump is a more tolerable solution. It's not a matter of taking it easy or not; we always are. It's just those booby-trap keywords, such as "girl" that start everything.

>> No.5303054

>>5303020
The fact that this OP started their post with "hey guys I'm a girl" is a bit annoying, indeed - but if you take a look at the thread, you'll see that it isn't as trollish as it usually would be. In fact, this thread (excluding all the spam, of course) reminded me a bit of the old /jp/.

I admit that I reported this thread as soon as I saw OP admitting their possible gender, though. I'm sorry for that. Summer may have infected me.

>> No.5303059 [DELETED] 

Alice excitingly placed her fingers on the witch's waist; as she was about to pull down her bloomers, the magician was met with Marisa's grasp.

"No, ze~. Don't you dare do that." Just then, a group of dolls flew onto Marisa and restrained her arms and legs once again. "Dammit, ze~; let me go!" Alice ignored the demand and pulled down the wet bloomers. Staring at what was now exposed, trickles of blood dripped from the magician's nose.

"You sad, lonely freak." Marisa remarked as it was all she could do. Wiping the drippings of passion from her face, she slid the diaper under Marisa. Sprinkling a blot of powder onto the area, she quickly taped the garment into position before she fainted from blood loss.

Regaining her composure, Alice witnessed what she had accomplished and let out a delightful smile. Flushed with redness, she placed her face next to Marisa's and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then with a soft giggle, she slowly walked toward the door.

"I'll make some tea and cakes." The dollmaster opened the door and exited the room; her minions release their grasp on the witch and followed.

Marisa sat up, hearing the unfamiliar crinkle as Alice's success, and pondered what the magician really meant to her.

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them, and in a loud booming hiss, asked "Have you read your SICP today?"

>> No.5303067 [DELETED] 

The surroundings faded into blackness and within a few moments the group found themselves seated in a lecture hall at MIT, amongst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the blackboard, and Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, dressed in his robe and wizard hat.

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the witch, the magician, Alice, and Marisa.

"What...?" Marisa managed to say, all of the confused by what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

"What's going on?" Alice whispered to Marisa.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

>> No.5303068

This thread is dildos

>> No.5303077 [DELETED] 

"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" the witch whispered.

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at the witch with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at the witch.

All of the other students turned in the direction of the group.

"Nothing," she answered quietly.

"I hope so," The Sussman said in stern tone, ending his pointing with the wand.

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, waving his wand around as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Marisa muttered almost inaudibly.

>> No.5303079

>>5303068
And with that, we are officially not bumping! Congrats, bros.

>> No.5303087

So... the janitor is just sitting here laughing his ass off?

>> No.5303088
File: 53 KB, 640x458, reactiondog2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303088

LOL I BUMP U!!!

>> No.5303093

You may have let loose your aspie rage, but you haven't changed shit. Hope you enjoyed wasting an hour of your life getting butthurt over something you don't have the power to stop, ever.

>> No.5303108
File: 743 KB, 589x3009, 1275167661359.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303108

>>5303020
You won't get rid of troll threads by replying. That does nothing but agitate the troll and aggravate legitimate posters. Same goes for screaming QUALITY in threads you don't like.

>> No.5303112

>>5302996
I don't care that it's just a butthurt tripfag spamming. The masterwork bastardsword copy/paste still makes me smile.

>> No.5303119

>>5303112
Katanas are woefully overlooked and underpowered in D&D

>> No.5303123
File: 113 KB, 539x850, 1274643671599.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303123

>>5303087
Janitor is jerking off right now while laughing at us.

This is why I saiy this entire board is a fucking shit. Not even janitors are fair anymore.

We should hack this whole shite, claim it as ours, and make of it an independent republic.

>> No.5303124

>>5303093
We meddling kids will get you eventually!

>> No.5303126
File: 51 KB, 249x187, mr satirno.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303126

300 posts and 59 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

Never change /jp/, never change.

>> No.5303127

If I had any ambition in life I would have started my own board.
No one would've used it, but I would've done it.

>> No.5303131

OP, sorry that a bunch of whiny babies ruined your thread. Troll or not, I enjoyed it and it was a nice break from the monotony of all the regular threads on here. Unlike most of the butthurt faggots, I hope that you create another one of these threads sometime, maybe in a few months when the underage idiots have to be in class or something. You seem nice, and I'm sad I didn't see this thread til after the retards got ahold of it so I didn't get to ask anything. Maybe next time~

>> No.5303132 [DELETED] 
File: 47 KB, 314x341, 1275715145038.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303132

>> No.5303133

>>5303108
If anything, the best way to "defeat" trolls is by replying naturally to their threads (or by trolling them too, but that's only if you're Suigin).

I had thought that /jp/ would know this by now, but no. Maybe it's because of the influx of newfriends caused by the summer, though - I'll keep believing that, because it surely will make me feel better.

And this thread's hit the bump limit already, by the way. Let it rest in peace.

>> No.5303138

>>5303123
Don't you all deserve to be laughed at though? Really? Why can't you just ever gain the self-restraint to ignore things? No matter how many times this happens you will just keep touching the stove over and over, continually fanning the flames. Why moderate for a bunch of dumbasses?

>> No.5303141
File: 36 KB, 285x186, 1273170964471.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303141

>>5303123

>> No.5303145

>>5303131
If you like it then go back to /r9k/ you retard.

>> No.5303156

>>5303093
its a bot baby
i was busy playing smb3

>> No.5303169

>>5303145
Never been there. Don't really have any intention of visiting it. Thanks for the suggestion though bro! link me to your next awesome JBCS or EIGHT HOOPS!?!! thread so I can make sure it gets the attention it deserves.

>> No.5303170

>>5303156
sure suigin
sure
why don't you share this bot with everyone, so we can all be backseat mods?

>> No.5303172

>>5303169
You should visit since you like these threads so much.

>> No.5303174

ahaha people unironically got mad because I spammed an off topic thread?
wow just wow

>> No.5303183

>>5303170
because i know i will use it to spam off topic shit instead of spamming threads I just don't like

>> No.5303190
File: 331 KB, 626x786, 1274643545738.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303190

>>5303127
I have my own chan, but nobody goes there. It's a shame because it's a nice site where you can talk without all the trolls and take it easy, while dumping images of Marisa naked and doujins faster than here, and that short of things.

>> No.5303195

>>5303190
link?

>> No.5303205
File: 324 KB, 500x650, 1274430876566.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303205

>>5303183
Suigin, your "bot" skipped a sage: >>5303077

>> No.5303209

>>5303205
Ya I was going to point that out.

>> No.5303211

>>5303205
thread hit bump limit then

>> No.5303212

>>5303195
http://ib4f.com/board/9chain/

>> No.5303237

Well, after all this trollfest, it's finally over.

Rest in peace... on page 10, and far far away.

>> No.5303259

>>5303212
Which board do I flood with Marisa porn?

>> No.5303277

>>5302938
>reveal their gender
I think flaunt is the superior word choice.

You don't see guys making posts all the time talking about how they are guys.

Is it assumed everyone is a guy? who cares. Why go out of your way to make a big deal if your privates are an innie or an outie? That's just the kind of attention whoring /jp/ hates, whether you're a guy or a girl.

>> No.5303301

>>5303212
>http://ib4f.com/board/9chain/3dg/topic/666926
what the fuck is this

>> No.5303308

>>5303301
disgusting

>> No.5303314

and really? the maid deleted a few of my posts?
wow just wow

>> No.5303328

>>5303314
Deleted my elfen lied spam too

>> No.5303334

>>5303314
I hate you suigin, but in this thread, shitposting is warrented.

This thread has nothing to do with /jp/. It's just a girl asking for people to talk to. What the fuck?

>> No.5303675
File: 19 KB, 704x396, 1235006100382.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303675

Back from lunch and everyone is still mad! And the thread is autosageing. Oh /jp/, you're so cute.

>>5303131
Jokes aside, if the thread had been more bros like you and less weeping manbabies, it could have been a legitimate, on-topic discussion of she-wotas! But, alas. Maybe I'll try again someday, thanks for the encouragement!

>>5303018
I still want to come over. I'll heat up the cattle prods now, okay? <3 See you soon!

In conclusion, you guys are weiners.

>> No.5303727
File: 212 KB, 600x760, utsuho60.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5303727

SUDDENLY OKUU

>> No.5303763

>>5303675
>I still want to come over. I'll heat up the cattle prods now, okay? <3
<3

>> No.5303763,1 [INTERNAL] 

I guess meido doesn't want to do exactly more than the required amount of work.

>> No.5303962

>>5303675
the only one mad here seems to be u

>> No.5304052

Everyone in this thread is upset, especially OP.

>> No.5304299
File: 62 KB, 500x1000, 1231938333117.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
5304299

>>5304052
>>5303962
nah I'm cool.

>> No.5304299,1 [INTERNAL] 

How the fuck can anyone defend /jp/ and say it's different from /b/, /a/, /v/ or any other board?

>> No.5304750

>320 posts
Why am I even still surprised?

>> No.5304750,1 [INTERNAL] 

>>5304299,1
Once I realized who the OP was I knew that we will always be the best board.

Also, the other boards get real deal mad. Everyone is just pretending in this thread.

>> No.5304750,2 [INTERNAL] 

>>5304750,1
Wait, who is this?

>> No.5304750,3 [INTERNAL] 

>>5304750,1
Oh, ZUN, when will you stop being so delusional.

/jp/ = /b/ = /a/= /v/ = any other board, each other just has slightly different interests.

>> No.5304750,4 [INTERNAL] 

>>5304750,1
Asceai?

>> No.5304750,5 [INTERNAL] 

>>5304750,1
Asceai?

>> No.5306025

Wow, this thread is still here.
Wow.

>> No.5306149

Fag deleted my spam and half of Suigin's and left the thread.

>> No.5306246

What the fuck /jp/ how is this still up.

>>5301831 here

Fuck that was a complete waste of a day. Fuck you

>> No.5306273

Why are you fags posting from easymodo? Get the shitty greasemonkey script.

>> No.5306280

>>5306149
>Fag deleted my spam and half of Suigin's
cry more

>> No.5306286

>>5306280
It seems as though it's you who is upset.

>> No.5306286,1 [INTERNAL] 

Now can this thread prove that /jp/ has gone the way of 4chan and not even the janitor will save it?

>>5306273
I feel bad for those who have the script, besides, my only interaction with /jp/ is with the ghost.

>> No.5306286,2 [INTERNAL] 

>>5306286,1
This thread is pretty damning evidence.

>> No.5306286,3 [INTERNAL] 

Why am I seeing so many deleted posts? Don't tell me this is the work of the janitor. In troll threads such as this it's the janitor's job to delete the entire thread, not protect it.

>> No.5306286,4 [INTERNAL] 

>>5306286,3
it was the janitor
I can't believe it either

>> No.5306286,5 [INTERNAL] 

Well, the janitor is interested in real girls now, so...

>> No.5306286,6 [INTERNAL] 

>>5306286,1

You sad, sad, pitiful pawn of Democracy and Left Wing Lies.

Open your eyes and awaken! You do not have to be a puppet of Democracy or society. You don't have to be a mere sheep.

In a Fascist society, I would not be bored. It would be awesome. I would love every moment of it and I could die proud and happy. It's like everyday would have a purpose and a goal. But if I ever did get bored, I would not be useless. I would merely be inactive. Not everyone in a Fascist Utopia is a worker bee, there are those who get to enjoy their leisure and the fruits of their Fascist Paradise.

In a Fascist World, we would not bleat like you docile lambs. We would sing Viking Warsongs from our Guts and the fire within. We would cry out for magic and power. We would pay tribute to Valkyries and the Power within our Ancestor's hearts. It would be a mighty, thunderous row that would terrify the undermen from leagues afar.

Democracy is for the weak. Free Will is an illusion. Look BEYOND the left wing lies. See the cusp of eternity. The Coal haired Valkyrie with the pale, skin Weiss soll Schneit....

She hold's the Chalice of true liberation from the shackles of Democracy and Liberalism.

>> No.5306286,7 [INTERNAL] 

>>5306286,5
So that story about the meido dating someone was true?

>> No.5306286,8 [INTERNAL] 

>>5306286,3
Unfortunately, it seems one of the meido's flaws is beginning to come to light.

>> No.5306286,9 [INTERNAL] 

>>5306286,6

hell yeah, hotaru maniac.

>> No.5306286,10 [INTERNAL] 

>>5306286,6
Posts glorifying fascism are hilarious.
Please write more.

>> No.5306286,11 [INTERNAL] 

the good old days...

>> No.5306286,12 [INTERNAL] 

>>5304750,1
ZUN!bies first Trev thread.

>>
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