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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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5265734 No.5265734 [Reply] [Original]

Do you know any good jokes, /jp/?
I could use a laugh.

>> No.5265755

Here's a good one.
Reported

>> No.5265754
File: 124 KB, 680x640, so-a-man-walks-into-a-bar-with-a-monkey-i-forget-the-rest-of-the-joke-but-your-mum-is-a-whore.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5265754

Obligatory.

>> No.5265758

>>5265755
Stop stealing my jokes Anonymous.

>> No.5265756

Sure, why did the chicken cross the road?

>> No.5265762

Asian invasian.

>> No.5265768

What type of car does imouto-chan drive?
A Nii-san!

>> No.5265775
File: 35 KB, 199x183, pffft.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5265775

>>5265768
that's a good one

>> No.5265786

Sure, get ready for this.

So a little girl is walking around her neighborhood on a Saturday and sees a bunch of boys taking turns trying to climb up a pole. She's impressed that some of them can make it like halfway up. She wants to try too, so she asks them excitedly if she can. They're like "get lost girls aren't strong enough" but they eventually agree to let her try. She climbs maybe 15 feet up the pole, and all the guys are cheering. When she gets down they all invite her back for tomorrow.
She's excited, she gets to play with the boys! So she comes back, and stays out all afternoon climbing the pole with the boys.
Third afternoon, this time she stays out playing past sunset. When she gets home her mom is really upset. "What were you doing out there so late?!" The girl told her mom all about her new sport and how she made friends. The mom sighs and puts her hand on the girl's shoulders.
"Honey, I hate to tell you this, but those boys aren't really your friends. They only invited you to play so that they could look up your skirt and see your underwear."
The girl smiles.
"I know that mom! That's why I didn't wear any today!"

>> No.5265797

>>5265786

bitchesandwhores.jpg

>> No.5265804

So I just saw Luigi the other day.
Cleaning out a haunted mansion or something.
He was looking a bit green afterward.

>> No.5265805
File: 10 KB, 270x249, donutpenis.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5265805

>>5265786

>> No.5265806
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5265806

>> No.5265810
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5265810

>> No.5265813

>>5265805
BAM

Donut penis.

>> No.5265816
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5265816

>> No.5265824
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5265824

>> No.5265826
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5265826

>> No.5265833

>>5265826
haha oh wow

>> No.5265834
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5265834

>> No.5265849
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5265849

>> No.5265855

>>5265826
oh Keanu you lovable rogue

>> No.5265923

So Sanae walks into a bar.

"What will ya be havin, little missy?"

The bartender asks, drying off a glass with a white rag.

"Your cock."

>> No.5265930

>>5265923
Comedy gold.

>> No.5265934

>>5265923
HAHAHA OH YOU'RE SO FUNNY MAN

No.

>> No.5265939

What did the Japanese dude say to the lion?

"wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

>> No.5265953

>>5265930
Thank you, I'm here on Fridays.

>> No.5265982

http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/411088/

>> No.5265988

"Aya got 2 games because she is a good character and not a slut"

>> No.5266027

which sandwich is Jonathan Joestar's favorite sandwich?

HAMON cheese on WRYYY bread.

>> No.5266026
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5266026

>> No.5266040
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5266040

>>5266026
I read, I thought, I laughed.

>> No.5266052

A guy ate two potato chips. There were 4 left, but Remilia and Flandre may have been eating a number of them per year. What was the total amount of chips and whose potato chips were they?

>> No.5266056 [DELETED] 
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5266056

>> No.5266130

>>5266052
wat

>> No.5266141

>>5266027
"WRYYY" is ウリイイ, not ライ.

>> No.5266152

Knock knock

>> No.5266158

>>5266052
Jean is shorter than Brutus but taller than Imhotep. Imhotep is taller than Jean, but shorter than Lord Scotland. Lord Scotland is twice the height of Jean and Brutus combined but only one-tenth of the height of Millsy. Millsy is at a constant height of x − y. If Jean stands exactly one nautical mile away from Lord Scotland, how tall is Imhotep?

>> No.5266159
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5266159

>>5266027

>> No.5266238
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5266238

>>5266158
>>5266052
CAN'T FUCKING FIG---

>> No.5266421

>>5266238
Imhotep is invisible.

>> No.5266447

>>5266158
>Jean is shorter than Brutus but taller than Imhotep.
Imhotep < Jean < Brutus
>Imhotep is taller than Jean
Jean < Imhotep

Doesn't compute.

>> No.5266466

>>5265754
Where's the variation of this with "OP is a faggot" and that old guy from that series I forget. "OH DESIRE"

>> No.5266493
File: 133 KB, 400x307, op is a fag.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5266493

>> No.5266504

>>5266493
Wrong one. It's "So OP and a monkey walk into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but the OP is a faggot" or something with OH DESIRE guy.

>> No.5266511
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5266511

>>5266158
➈
>>5266052
➈

eye am genius

>> No.5266519

The leader of Al-Qaeda was explaining his theory for Higurashi no Naku Koro ni.

One disbeliever said, "Oh yeah, sure, Osama."

>> No.5266586
File: 544 KB, 1213x673, sanae;_;.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5266586

>> No.5266616

>>5266586
Wrong. Sanae sucks, while Aya blows.
(Wind God Girl is now playing in your head)

>> No.5266633

>>5265734

How do two gay guys in a bar who got into a heated argument fight?

They go outside and trade blows.

>> No.5266749

Two men walk into a bar.

You would have thought the second one would duck.

>> No.5266770 [DELETED] 

>>5265733

gspwncqw a ht d ubdw qCjHRuIhSyTuOPHeER POOLE (sAKA MOOdT,a AKcA THtE ADsMcINj OFm 4mCHhAyN) IS A DlANGlEcROUSd,r MEyNhTAsLtLY IdLLd THIEFa.b REAsDd ALLa ABOUT IT HEREl: HTTPe:o//8i8.80.l21t.y12/ ORj HTTPx://WWW.AeNoONeTxALK.SE/ OyR HTsTdPy://ATb.KIMMOrA.cSdE/xrg fhz uijv wx etgtdvvd zu c

>> No.5266776

A man walks up to a woman in a bar and says "Your going to get lucky tonight!" the women goes "Wow, are you psychic?" the man replies, "No, just stronger than you."

>> No.5266781

so a man walks into a bar...
he walks to the bartender, orders a drink, sits down.
he checks out the girls, then leans to the guy next to him and says:
"I could have any one of those girls"
the guy replies "really? what's your secret?"
he leans in real close and whispers...
"i'm a rapist"

>> No.5266832
File: 140 KB, 641x868, look at that baker.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5266832

Why does Kenshiro's bakery have the most efficient service?

Because by the time you get to the counter, you are already fed.

>>
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