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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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5221792 No.5221792[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

PSA: Don't hold your shit in for too long, /jp/.

I was trying to build pressure for a power shit to see if I could finally hit the ceiling like that other anon, but at the 2-week mark I felt what seemed like an orgasm in my intestines followed by the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced. It felt like I sprung a leak in my abdomen, which apparently was blood spurting around, and I called 911 in a panic. It turns out my intestines ruptured because, in layman's terms, it was packed to the brim with shit.

Now I'm in massive debt thanks to hospital bills and missing a good bit of my colon. Just don't do it /jp/, ceiling shits are not worth the risk.

>> No.5221804

My ability is manipulation of shit. Not only can I store as much shit as I would like, I can also shit it in any form I desire and I have built shit golems in form of my waifus keeping me company.

Feels good, man.

>> No.5221805

Some people aren't made for an extreme lifestyle.

>> No.5221806
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5221806

>> No.5221807
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5221807

wtf dude?

>> No.5221808
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5221808

>I was trying to build pressure for a power shit to see if I could finally hit the ceiling like that other anon,

You lost me.

>> No.5221802

What the fuck.

>> No.5221813

well said. Wtf, OP?

>> No.5221820

>>5221804
>shit golems

Why does this remind me of a copypasta?

>> No.5221821

I can't stop laughing

>> No.5221826

>>5221802
>>5221807
>>5221808
>>5221813
go back to /v/ newfriends

>> No.5221831

I was beginning to wonder where you were, I haven't seen a shit thread in a while. Glad you survived the ordeal Anon.

>> No.5221829
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5221829

lack of training

>> No.5221827

don't know if I should report this
What do you think /jp/?

>> No.5221837

>>5221820
>Why does this remind me of a copypasta?

You're probably recalling the /tg/ one with butter and toilet paper.

If you haven't seen it, don't.

>> No.5221838

Oh cool, a fellow floor shitter.

Usually don't see my bros on /jp/ at this hour.

Anyways, tough luck man. You have to know your limits, floor shitting is called an extreme sport for a good reason.

>> No.5221839

>>5221826
I knew about floor shitters, but I didn't know there were ceiling shitters too.

Also, people come from /a/ too, so /v/ alone shouldn't be mentioned.

>> No.5221848

>>5221827
I think you should stop posting and get out of /jp/, newfriend.

>> No.5221845

>>5221839
/a/ and /v/; they're on the same level. The important thing is leaving /jp/.

>> No.5221842

>>5221827
Last I checked floor shitting is otaku culture, this thread is legit.

>> No.5221844

anuses do not work like that

>> No.5221853

I have terrible hemorrhoids from IBS. Chronic constipation combined with hemorrhoids feels like shitting glass.

>> No.5221856

I'm surprised you could last 2 weeks. After one week or so of it, the constipation is too much to bear, it causes situations where I cannot move anything below my hips at all without feeling excruciating pain. Maybe I'm on the weak end of the scale, with enough gas this can happen to me within a day.

>> No.5221861

Oh man, I was starting to miss your threads, floor-shitting anon.

Keep up the good work. Fight the good fight for those of us with weak colons. Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

>> No.5221862

>implying you are not homeless yet

srysly op how many times have you made this thread

>> No.5221873

>>5221856
You can induce burping to reduce the gas load.

>> No.5221882

>>5221861

lol hes not gonna get stronger if they took a good bit of his colon. if anything he will always be weaker

>> No.5221885

>>5221862
Uh, I never was homeless. I'm living with a fellow /jp/er now who was laughing his ass off the whole time I was in the hospital.

Go read the Muvico thread again, I thought I made it clear.

>> No.5221889
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5221889

Train harder, Anon.

>> No.5221904
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5221904

>>5221804
>shit golems

>> No.5221912

>didn't poop for two weeks

THAT'S A ONE WAY TICKET TO THE HOSPITAL MAN
YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

>> No.5221913

I havent taken a shit in a long time at least a week
My body is holding it in for some reason
This will not end well I guess

>> No.5221915

>>5221889
>train harder

Excuse me, we use "Ganbatte~!" around here.

Learn to use our language or get out, normalfag.

>> No.5221916

>>5221873
But is that really advisable? I was under the impression that the gas would play a major role in making it projectile.

>> No.5221922

>>5221913
I hope your body can take it

>> No.5221925

Bedwetters
Diaperfags
Floor pissers
Floor shitters
Gurofags
Ceiling shitters

/jp/ has it all.

>> No.5221932

It's the gases that cause the pressure, not the amount of shit in your body. What happens to shit after two weeks? It DRIES. That's what you call a clog, not pressure.

>> No.5221929

>>5221925
Don't the middle two come in a package? If you ask me, it's kind of stupid to just to one or the other. If you're comfortable with one, then what's the problem?

>> No.5221935

>>5221916
If your intestines explode all the gas will escape anyways.

You have to learn control and restraint if you want to shit properly.

>> No.5221943

Try Miralax. It's a newer laxative that doesn't act as a stimulant, so you can take it in the long term with no ill effects.

>>
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