/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

So does anyone here like non-faggot shit Japan has produced?

[Anonymous No.]

oh, like gurren lagaan?

[Anonymous No.]

What? I don't think there's anything like that.

[Anonymous No.]

You mean unreliable electronics, bad cars, copycat technology and uneffective organized crime?

[Anonymous No.]

Yakuza? The Triads basically took over everything they ever ran and went international with it to boot (Canada, US, Australia have huge population of members).

The Yakuza were forced to go more underground and semi-legit stuff similar to the Cosa Nostra does now.

Also sage for not having anything to do with otaku shit.

[Anonymous No.]

Like what? A hyper-conservative government or a failed economy?

I'll stick with my faggot shit.

[Anonymous No.]

This is my first time in /jp/ really, and I can say something :3

I'm a big World War II freak.. so.. does that Work?

[Anonymous No.]

>>5213979
lol inorite?
Japanese shit is so ineffective, goddamn.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5213991
> :3

stop.

[Anonymous No.]

Not really captain hard ass maybe you should go somewhere else.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5213991
>This is my first time in /jp/
>:3

If you ever want to post here again I suggest you don't use a fucking emoticon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5213979
>>5213985
>>5213991
Stop bumping your own thread, OP.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5213991
No and stop using emoticons.

[Anonymous No.]

wait.....except faggot shit nothing else maybe except their folklore stories, they are sometime interesting

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214012
That's faggot shit right there.

[Anonymous No.]

So duurrr hurrr duur hurr durr?

[Anonymous No.]

stop giving op attention.
>>5214027
>>5214024
>>5214011
>>5214010
>>5214004
>>5213996
you are only giving him a reason to bump.
than again, he would have bumped anyway.

...

[Anonymous No.]

>>5213996

>>5214004

>>5214011

Wow, for a bunch of people on a internet message board, in a section about Japanese culture.. no wait.. OTAKU CULTURE!

You guys are pretty egotistical. Why don't you guys try getting laid and getting off your fat asses? :3

Sorry to say but I DO WHAT I WANT!

:D

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

Summer is here~

Nefriend summer is back~ and this time, it's never going away~

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214043
Fuck off, weeaboo faggot

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214047
who?

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214043
>You guys are pretty egotistical. Why don't you guys try getting laid and getting off your fat asses? :3

Are you trolling? If not, take a look at where you are.

This is /jp/.

Everybody here is egotistical.

And everybody here is a asexual in a sense that they find real women disgusting.

Sounds like you're posting on the wrong board.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214056
Stop responding seriously to him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214051

You do understand this thread is CALLED OTAKU culture correct? or are you that misguided? ;)

[Anonymous No.]

Can you give me an example of non-faggot shit?

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214062

Great, you can read. But take note that it does not say Weeaboo Culture.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214056

Meh, i just came to sight see.

but yes, I rather do think its silly to be egotistical when 90% of people on here can't even get out of their house to get laid?

No im not trolling, but i do make good points. and no im not OP.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214062
No, this thread is called shit because it is.

Time to get the Janitor's attention, guys.

[Anonymous No.]

enough with this... i call for a hijack

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214071
Oh, great, /r9k/ is raiding again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214078
Sure

[Anonymous No.]

Why no touhou ever dies?
I mean, why was the danmaku system invented? why doesn't reimu kills the losers?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5214071
http://archive.easymodo.net/jprules.php

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214071

Because we're introverted people. We don't dedicate our time to "getting laid" meaning having sex with some dirty whore at a drunk party. People here either prefer to dedicate time to other things be it hobbies or academics or games or they have social problems and can't or don't want to go sleeping around.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214081

Sigh, when will people on 4 chan just understand not everyone is trolling and people can have different views.

As must as you hate the sound of this, there aer good people in the world.

It's pretty interesting to see people with such cynical views.... on a message board.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214071
> I rather do think its silly to be egotistical when 90% of people on here can't even get out of their house to get laid?

i think thats a stupid reason to get out of the house in the first place when you could do so much more in the time it takes to have sex.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214082
What is the story behind that picture?

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214092

I never once implied to have sex with some whore? Oh boy

I hope you are saying I don't have hobbies, for fucks I'm on 4 chan right now.

but I do admit I am finding this all very interesting.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214103
>herp derp hurpa durr?

Newsflash: Nobody cares about your views. Go outside and get your free STDs if you want. We don't care. No, really.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214119
Nothing really just a non-moemiji

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214103

You obviously underestimate the phenomena of what 4chan is as an entity. 95% of the time what you think is legitimate idiocy or arrogance is just trolling. I don't care whether you want to believe it or not, but I've been here since 2006 and cross post on 2chan where the "cultures" are sort of the same and it's just part of the "collective consciousness" or hive mind to troll other parts of the site. There is no reason for it, it's just a result of the anonymity of 4chan (moot talked about stuff like this when he spoke at TED or whatever).

That's not to say the posters in this thread aren't real because /jp/ does get a lot of idiots thinking the board is something different.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214107
>>5214092
>>5214090
>>5214081

succesfull attention whore is succesfull.
would been fine with a nice attention whore tough.
also rolling for next touhou ill dream about.

[Anonymous No.]

suddenly walfas

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214131
Top 2
Side 5

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214107

I can respect that, if thats you view go for it :) whatever is your calling.

>>5214127

No STD's, and only had sex with 5 girls.. So I have no idea what you are talking about.

I just don't see how people can really be so fucking miserable with their life. It's so bad that they get on 4 chan and really carry their negative crap in their posts.

Maybe I'm just trying to understand

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214121

Sorry I wasn't implying you screwed whores, I just used an exaggerated example of casual sex.

The fact of the matter is, though, most people who post here are usually socially awkward nerds, and sex is not something on their minds. Or if it is, it's in the form of fantasies. Visit the board at night and you'll see all kinds of threads about sex toys or ergoe games or lolicon etc etc.

[Anonymous No.]

Shut up and post promotions, guys, let's make this thread a bit useful.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214131
31= eirin. now reroll.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214127
look at the little bitter otaku. So cute

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

if you are going to hijack a thread at least do it at a speed that isn't fucking pathetic

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214143
>negative crap in their posts.
But thats mostly everybody in 4chan

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214149
49= tokiko
now reroll.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214154
why don't you help?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214143

It's a result of a life of rejection from peers in school to family. You have to imagine that everybody here has some form of aspergers or autism. Most don't but it exemplifies the social problems most have as a result of whatever happened to them. So, most people end up rejecting reality and living on the internet instead, and that makes them so hostile to the real world. The people here are assholes and misanthropes that tend to hate everything that does not really concern them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214092
>>We don't dedicate our time to "getting laid" meaning having sex with some dirty whore at a drunk party. People here either prefer to dedicate time to other things be it hobbies

such as masturbating to fictional bug-eyed characters made to pander to losers

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214162
62= Kaguya.
Ill add mokou as a bonus.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

lets see

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214174
Probably because you're being pathetic either way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214177
In short, they're a bunch of faggots not worth anyone's time

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214129

I totally aggre with what you said. I guess thats really the truth, I just wish people would be a little more open minded. Sorry if im going all " deep " I really didn't think my comments would get this much attention.

>>5214144

Ya, I think I can aggre. Hmm... Maybe people really are just that socialy odd? I guess sometimes I can't understand because I don't know anyone like that, well.. One person. Still

Im a very socialy fucked person at times, I have my moments. but really.. its never hatefilled?

>>5214155

Sad but true =/

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214143
>No STD's, and only had sex with 5 girls.
>5 girls
>No STDs

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214181
81= Sakuya.
or rather, pad chief.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

IF U WERE FLAMED FOR USING LISP TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR SUICIDE CUZ ID B N DAT CUNTS HOUSE N SHOVE SICP DOWN HIS THROAT!
//`'''```,
o // LISP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co
WE TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIES
WE READ SICP TOGETHER
WE COUNT PARENTHESES TOGETHER
send this SUAVE SPACE TOAD to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 6001 your A TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIE

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214184
>>5214184

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214143
Ok, mister, let me tell you somethings about this board, so you at least go away. All the negative crap in this thread is because of you. We are normally really calm people.
Now that we got that out of the way,

the point is that we are not miserable. A lot of people don't live the best lives in the world, sure, but there are also others with decent lives, some of them with better than yours.

Point is, we don't talk about it. Maybe some live good lives, but most of the users here are loser weeaboo "NEET"s. Nobody cares if your girlfriend is a supermodel or if you are more successful than us, we enjoy our way of living, even if we feel lonely. There is nothing you can do to change our mind, especially through the Internet. Now, kindly fuck off or, if you wish to stay and sightsee, shut the fuck up and kindly lurk. Thank you.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Anyways, >>25, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214186
only because you guys keep responding.
Seriously, isn't responding to topic in a troll thread even more patethic?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I could feel Asakura lifting her knife up. Where would she start? The throat arteries, heart? If I knew how I was going to die, I could at least be prepared. At least let me close my eyes...what's this!?

I suddenly felt the air shake. The knife began to fall upon me... At this moment, the ceiling gave out a loud cracking noise, followed by debris falling down. A loud booming hiss which seemed to sound like "Have you read your SICP today?" filled the air. I lifted my head and discovered... Standing in front, catching the blade with his crotch-snake, was the robed figure of The Sussman.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214188
stop caring about these idiots

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"You and your forced indentation." The Sussman said in his usual expressionless tone, "You think you can defy my power?"

"You want to get in my way?" Asakura sounded calm. "Once I kill this person, Suzumiya Haruhi is bound to have some sort of reaction. Only then can we obtain more cudders."
"You are supposed to be my backup." The Sussman said in a mantra-like tone, "This sort of insubordination is forbidden; you must obey my commands."

"What if I refuse?"
"Then I will send you to the land of Java."
"Would you like to try? I have the advantage here, since this classroom belongs to MIT."
The Sussman removed his wizard hat and set it on the floor before removing a wand from a pocket on his robe. He pointed it at the knife in her hand and murmured. Shortly after, it started glowing brightly. Then, like the sugar cube being placed into a cup of tea, it slowly crystallized and dissolved and fell towards the floor like powder.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214199

I'm 23 and what is this?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Asakura released the knife and jumped five meters away. Opening up the distance in an instant, Asakura landed elegantly and continued smiling as usual. The Sussman raised his wand and pointed it directly at the ceiling, not taking his eyes off Asakura. The wand released a wave of glowing white parentheses and the space around The Sussman began to distort.

"It's time for some ENTERPRISE QUALITY!" Asakura cheerfully cried as she conjured the spirits of the JVM, producing a flood of boiling-hot coffee that rushed its way towards The Sussman, who stood motionless, parentheses continuing to issue from his wand like electromagnetic radiation.
"You think your turkey solutions can stop me?" The Sussman said calmly before lowering his wand, forming the pool of parentheses now gathered around him into a sharp pointed cone aimed at Asakura. Suddenly he shouted "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISP!" and the parentheses shot forward into the waves of coffee, pushing the boiling hot liquid back towards where it came.

"Nooooooo....." her cries became weaker as she became engulfed in the dark brown liquid. Everything turned black and I felt as though I had fainted. I awoke to a familiar voice.

"...before we do that for the next couple of lectures we're gonna be talking about..."

I opened my eyes and raised my head to find myself seated in a lecture theater. I glanced at the clock and found that I had missed most of the lecture. "Damnit! I was looking forward to the first lecture of the last semester of 6.001!" I thought to myself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214192
92= chen
cheen
cheeeeeeeen
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214198

If you read the other comments in this thread, you would see most people aggred people like you just hate their own life so they project it onto others.

Hey, I'm not trying to bash you, and thank you for your rant! It was a interesting read, I just really don't aggre.

>>5214177

You hit it on the head man, I really feel thats the truth. It's a little sad you know? Fuck, I know im a OVERLY postive person, maybe to the fact of being near idealistic. Infact it makes me not understand some things, but hey.. Im trying now.

>>5214189

You sir are a idiot, did not rage, but did laugh!

>>5214187

Totally do aggre!

P.S. pic related? this is the view of most guys on 4 chan, and for your info.. I have been on 4 chan for a few years.. like 4

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214220
20=akyu
no pics of her.
thank you suigin.

/thread.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me.

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214177
That's not true their are alot of nice people on /jp/(i think...)

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214224

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to use a diaper. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214235

Nope mate, I'm not mad :)

In times like this, this makes me think the political / social views of Fight Club are 100% right.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

SON OF A BITCH PYTHON
I AM EXPERT PROGRAMMER
PYTHON IS PIG
DO YOU WANT FORCED INDENTATION?
DO YOU WANT FAIL?
INTERPRETER IS PIG DISGUSTING
VAN ROSSUM IS A MURDERER
FUCKING GAY LANGUAGES

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214224
>most people aggred people like you just hate their own life so they project it onto others.
>It was a interesting read, I just really don't aggre.

Interesting how other people agree on how much I'm supposed to hate my life, that's awesome. I really don't though, and I don't think it's something I need your "aggrement" on.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214244

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214224
You mistake me for someone who lives a miserable life. The fact that I don't like normalfags coming in here and pitying the userbase has nothing to do with my fairly happy personal life, which is also why I said what I said. However I am inclined to think that you are a sad person suffering from some sort of superiority complex or you wouldn't be so vocal about, you know, us being pathetic.

Now where the fuck is that Meido...

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I am a computer programmer, which means I'm fat, nerdy, and have a tiny cock. I got AIDS from paying a cheap whore to fuck me, since I have no love in my life.
When the doctor told me, I went to the only thing I knew -- SICP.
I slammed my penis between two copies of SICP. It swelled up to twice normal size and fell off. I was worried.
I woke up the next day with incredible abs, a 14" rod of steel, and no HIV. I'm now an adult movie star, banging porn stars.
Thank you, SICP!

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I am eating...I am eating..curry.Om nom nom, fresh, straight from the cook. It's piping hot and the steam from it burns my eyes a little, the smell is strong, and the flavor intense. "Oh Ciel, please give me some more, i'm still hungry!". I don't think i've ever come across curry as rich as this before, the flavor takes over all my senses. I can't take it anymore, I want more of this spicy deliciousness. I find the place it's coming from, its a hole, and I notice Ciel is looking the other way. The hole isn't big enough for me to use the spoon, but around it is soft tissue. I pull it open and decide to just use my tongue to scoop out the curry. I notice another area near the curry hole, dripping with something, so I taste it. The flavor is that of salty milk and coins, I quickly return to the curry to remove the taste. While eating the curry, I hear a gurgling noise...suddenly a hot gust of air billows out of the hole and the curry begins flowing at an amazing pace. The smell, the taste, the heat, it all comes pouring out of the hole with such force...soon it's all over my face and the floor, I'm slathered in it, enjoying it, loving it. I begin lapping it off the floor. My hands are covered in it, i begin rubbing it into myself. The heat is so intense that it begins to make my penis erect..as the curry pours out, I get closer and closer to orgasm. In the background I can hear Ciel moaning in discomfort.

Making Curry must be hard work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214252

Im not saying you should hate your life mate, but I am saying please try to find a bright spot.

It might help a little? Im not trying to say anything but that.

I'm a atheist, so I truely believe you are just wasting your life when you could just be happy, we only have one shot.

BUT, if thats how you want to run your life, go for it. Like you said, I have no right to judge.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Ran Yakumo waited. The lights above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There were Chens in the base. She didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. Her warnings to Cernel Yukari were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Ran was a SUPPA TENKO for fourteen years. When she was young she watched Hina and said to Yukari "I want to spin one day."
Yukari said "No! You will BE KILL BY CHENS"
There was a time when she believed her. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the Mayohiga of Gensokyo She knew there were Chens.
"This is Yukari" the radio crackered. "You must fight the Chens!"
So Ran gotted her spin on and smashed through the wall.
"SHE GOING TO KILL US" said the Chens
"I will spin at her" said the SUPPA Chen and she spun at Ran. Ran spun at her and tried to smash her up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to spin.
"No! I must kill the Chens" she shouted
The radio said "No, Ran. You are the Chens"
And then Ran was CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN~

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214265

if you want to think that, thats fine... though if you read anything i wrote I don't believe you could truely say that.

oh well...

Im a very accepting and open person, just overly postive :)

but hey, do what you want!

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214275
Why do you insist on the fact that we're miserable?
Do you want to make yourself feel better that much?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

There are four engineers travelling in a car -- a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a computer scientist. The car breaks down.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip
down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer.

"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."

"I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."

They all turn to the computer scientist, who up to then had reading his first edition SICP, and asked "Well, what do you think?"

"..."

"Ahem, Dr. Sussman?"

"Why am I reading this book?"

"Uh, I don't know?"

"So that the room will be empty."

"Wait a second, we aren't in a r... !"

And at that time the three engineers were Enlightened.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214286

>Im a very accepting and open person, just overly postive :)


But you sure seem to lack maturity.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
* Second, you need to succeed in founding a Lisp-related meme in /prog/ on world4chan, a popular "programming for trolls" website.
* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.


//`'''```,
o //SICP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

3- I think I love a chair
[George]
I must be the first man to ever fall in love with furniture
gonna bend down on my knees,and ask that chair to marry me
those legs makes forget about any chick i been wit in the past
cause we got a lot in common she's a chair i'm a freak
makes me wanna grab it i have a habit,I gotta have it
they call me the man of steel cause that ass is like a magnet
damn you got me so in love,can't stay away from this island
every time I find my self rollin' up on them dubs
I've been around the world,see booty all the time
I never seen a booty,so so prerty,so so fine
comin' down the stairs,no secret why I'm here
cause girl you keep my donk on swole,with a drop drop with it
pop pop when it hop hop baby the way you doing that thang with it don't you stop stop,
I wanna stick it,wanna kiss it if I could I'd put my whole damn head in it,i'm in love with a chair
[chorus]
I'm in love with a chair
She really think I'm playing, I'm playing
She take me for a joke when I say it
I'm in love with a chair
Gotta get her, I gotta get with her
I can't stay out this island

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214287

Not at all, I have no idea how you think im enjoying this, to be honest.. it makes me a little sad that people feel this way.

It really sucks to feel insanely angry at the world.

Im sure you think im trolling or just some BRAH but hey... a lot of this has to do with me just not understanding how some people really work.

I'd say thats fair to question right?

>>5214290

I have no idea how you'd say that when im making comments like these.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

[Jessica]
I'm in love with a chair, I need to get some furniture counselin'
'cause I'm the first one in the front row when he serves tea
I think I'm fallin' in love with the most quiet one
Thin, lil' bitty waist, I'ma go and buy that bitch a Volkswagen
Jess, pimp tight, no mo' tippin' stop the bill
If I come in here one mo' night I'm gon' need Dr. Phil
But I'm a G, I'll step back and tell them bitches outright
Ain't no way I can turn a furniture into a husband
[chorus]
I'm in love with a chair
He really think I'm playing, I'm playing
He take me for a joke when I say it
I'm in love with a chair
Gotta get him, I gotta get with him
I can't stay out this island
[George]
The last girl was pretty but she wasn't fine as you
She sexy but couldn't do the thangs you do
She could clean but nothin' like the way you move
I used to want her until the day I saw you
I'm a grown ass man I thought I seen it all
Doin' all that on the kitchen and didn't even fall
And right then I knew exactly what it was (What's that)
I wanna fuck the sexiest bitch in the island

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214286
Oh, and I read everything you posted. You called us faggots, egotistical, fat, miserable and other things I won't bother listing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214287
>>5214290
...
Abort\ Retry\ Ignore?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214308

I think you read someone elses comments, I did say something like getting laid, and I admit that was harsh.. but really, come on... never fags or any lame shit like that.

Im just trying to understand why anyone could have such a dark cloud in their life.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

The following is a tale depicting the events during which my life was completely changed in all aspects. I shall only be a few minutes, so if you will please, have a seat, and I will relate to you the story of how I became known as the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

It was on the western edge of the town of Philidelphia, Pennsylvania where I spent my childhood and adolescence, raised by my mother. I spent my days relaxing and enjoying wonderful leisure activity, usually by partaking in games of basketball just outside the school which I attended. One day, a couple of gentlemen, acting very suspicious and resentful of my playfulness, began to start some conflict with me. It was only one trivial brawl which I suffered through, but my mother indeed became rather worried. She told me when I returned to my home that I would be moving with my aunt and uncle in the town of Bel-Air, California.

I signaled for a taxi cab to pick me up, and when one arrived at the airport which I had just landed at, despite my decision to omit that part of my story, I became aware that the liscense plate affixed to its rear bumper had the word "FRESH" printed on it, and that there were couple of fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror inside the cab. I thought to myself that this taxi sure was a rare breed, but shook these thoughts from my head to return to the task at hand. I told the driver of the taxi to take me to Bel-Air. At around seven or eight o'clock that evening, and I jokingly commented to the driver that I would probably have to smell the inside of his taxi again at a later time. I then took a good look at my newfound kingdom at which I had just arrived. Indeed, I was at last there and I was prepared to sit on my new throne, to be dubbed the Prince of Bel-Air.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214304
Isn't it apparent? These very comments prove that you are so immature that you go around on random places on the Internet, call its users fat faggots, gloat about how your life is superior while pitying them because you made a conclusion out of your ass that they are somehow all more miserable than you.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

On one stormy night, the sky bright with thunder
knock knock at the door - who is that, I ponder
I dash to the gate, open it, I sunder
'tis a filthy snake, at my mat, down under!
I speak carefully, not to make a blunder:

``who be thee, thou spawn of evil?
beast from before medieval
serpent! the tempter primeval!''
-- in my soul a great upheaval
``demon! how come you were tapping?
at my door so gently rapping?
limbless, cursed to move by wrapping!''

The slimy beast hissed, and so before my eyes
I beheld a man - in appearance so wise
I recognised him, now without the disguise
My throat unleashing so desperate cries:

``Infidel! Once a great wizard,
now a slimy tricky lizard
stealing through the flames and blizzard
what be thy business, ex-wizard?''

Thus he spake, the voice bestowed:
``son, you walk the evil road
all what I have you once shown
all what you thanks to me own
now shall within you explode
and have I so forebode:
not through Scheme does point the road
in my mind had always flowed:
FORCED INDENTATION OF CODE''

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Our Sussman, which art in nirvana,
hallowed be thy name;
thy language come;
thy will be done,
in implementation as it is in specification.
Give us this day our daily Lisp.
And forgive us our bugs,
as we forgive them that crash our computers.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from enterprise quality.
For thine is the language,
the power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

My stepmom had infantilism. If you don't know what that means, it's when you get off on diapers. When I was around eleven, she diapered me frequently, whenever she had free time, following an incident where I urinated in public. She never blackmailed me or convinced me that what she was doing was somehow an act of love, she was just physically stronger then me. If I happened to be particularly objectionable to this process, she would sit on my upper torso so that I could offer little in the way of physical resistance.

Along with this, she put a crib in our guest room and made me take naps in it. Of course, she also wanted to change me. If I tried to take a diaper off when she put one on me, I would be spanked. If I tried to talk when she put a pacifier in my mouth, I would be slapped. If I was not particularly forthcoming with urinating or shitting myself, but not disobeying her directly, she would forcefeed me this awful herbal milk stuff which made my body quite complicent of these functions even when I was not. In later occasions, she would give me the formula and then not do anything about it until I asked her, "Will you change my diaper please, mommy?". This probably had something to do with willfull submission.

Bottles were thrust into my mouth as often as cocks would be shoved into a whore's. For evening meals, I was pinned to a highchair and forcefed with a paper spoon while she made obnoxious sounds.

She made quite sure my body lacked any kind of hair, excluding the stuff on my head. Some nights, when I got to wear what I wanted, she would come in as I was asleep, remove what I had on, and diaper me up, occasionally bottlefeeding me yet again. For a while, she took pills to make her breasts produce milk and breastfed me, although she stopped after they made her sick. She would take naked pictures of me, mostly of my ass as I lay down, and sometimes with a full diaper, or after tickling me to make it seem like I loved her or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214333

I think you are REALLY misreading what I'm saying man.

Infact, It's sort of annoying that you think I'm "egotistical" because I'm happy with my life.

B U T if you really want to believe that, it's fine.

If you really have this view, how do you even have conversations with people in the world?

Bleak is bleak mate.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

When she spanked me, she often did it with my diaper on. When she held me in her arms, she often played with my ass. She frequently took my temperature the old fashioned way. I guess it turned her on.

Sometimes, she fondled me when she changed me.

She made me take baths with her as my arms were bound. In later years, when I was bigger then her, she would often bind and drug me, although I was still very small for my age and she was very fit, and she could still occasionally overpower me outright.

I'm probably missing some stuff.

All this continued untill I was 18 and went to college. My dad was pretty oblivious to the whole thing, and most likely still doesn't know, if they are still alive. I don't know where they are. I don't care.

What a fucking bitch.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214323
By saying "non-faggot shit" you implied the stuff being posted here and stuff we like in general is faggot shit. Stop being such an enormous-

you know what, fuck you, just go away, it's obvious that you are doing this to feed your massive ego. You are the only dark cloud in this thread and my life for now. Go away so my world can start being sunny again

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

in all seriousness.
all complete seriousness, as in: no more memes or witty comebacks.
all of that shit aside, completely serious right now.
if I had a gun with one bullet, and you were standing in front of me.
but next to you, was Hitler, alive again and ready to kill another 7 million or so Jews.
Honestly, I would shoot you. I really would. Why you're even on /b/ is something I really would like to know. I want to know how you managed to stumble into this place, and who told you about this secret place of the internet.

Honestly, you're the sole reason /b/ is full of fail nowadays. It would give me great pleasure to know that before I left, I could at least convince one idiot to leave this place for those with a positive IQ.

So please, in all seriousness, just leave this place and never return

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I hit my girlfriend today, /b/.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad. She won, and my dad kinda lost it over the years.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.

Basically, I cocked my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor. She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. I washed off my hand, browsed /b/ for a bit, and took a dump. While I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't go to the cops or anything.

I'm not too sure what to do next.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214351

Dude, for the last time im NOT OP!!!!!

I didn't make this thread, are you REALLY that dumb?

Wow, I bet you feel like a ass now, Jesus.. hahaha

Oh you, i guess you didn't think i was just someone randomly posting. this is my first post right here

>>5213991

Feel like a idiot?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking threads about rape! RAPE IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /b/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT RAPE! Rape DESTROYS a woman, it STRIPS HER OF HUMANITY! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. RAPE IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /b/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN'S WOMANHOOD BEING VIOLATED!

And no, I am not some lesbian dyke cunt, I am a woman. I was raped. My virginity taken from me, I can never give it to a man I love. I was raped again and again and again and again and again by a random stranger when I was 15, And between you and me something amazing happened...and now I can talk to animals! Its really cool! But totally a secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214343
If you weren't egotistical you wouldn't post about how you are happy with your life in a place where some people may have problems with theirs'. I live a happy life too, but I respect others who don't want to hear about it.

The more I try to explain all this to you, the more I realize how stupid I am for even bothering.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Gary needs to be the rival in the next two Pokémon games.

I don't care if he's 30 by time they take place, it must happen. And he needs to be an even bigger asshole, too. Everytime his theme starts playing the player should recoil in fear because they know that his level 100 Blastoise is about to rape you.

At the end of a cave? Your Pokémon all poisoned with no HP left. Gary appears.

Leaving Team Whatever's HG on the way to the Pokémon center? Gary appears.

Gary should appear in the middle of the credits. Gary should appear while you're healing your Pokémon. Gary should challenge you before you even get your damn Pokémon.

The last sound you hear before you die?

His theme.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I think one of the worst plagues to hit /b/ is Caturday. If /b/ was once a place where only the Internet's finest would hang out and post the sickest images known to man, now all the cat lovers who never had anything to do with /b/ come here to post their "ZOMG SUPER KAWAII" cat images. Just for the record, I have 2 cats, and I take care of them very well, even though they're male and female which makes the task more difficult. It didn't bother me much when it took place during Saturday, but the "EVERY DAY IS CATURDAY" and Caturday "After Parties" is where it crosses my line. Take the lolcats.com site as an example. The retard who made it has nothing to do with /b/, and neither do any of the fags who replied to him (MySpace fags). /b/ turned from the asshole of the internet to a place where fags from Gaia and MySpace meet to make faggy discussions. It gets worse when the Caturday fags say stuff like this, and I quote:

>Yeah, because Anonymous knows /b/ hates cats.

Anonymous and /b/ hate everything and everyone in the world you idiots, get the fuck out.

Caturday is a reigning plague of faggotry that must be stopped.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214368

You arn't stupid, but I do think that you are misunderstanding my view. That is fine, I can see why you'd say that.

I did not once come here to say any of this, infact.. I came in here and made a comment.. and so much negative crap came out.. like i said. check this post and the hell that came with it.

this is me.

and this is why i said all of this

>>5213991

I think it proves my point as well

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.

Anyways, I began to watch Azumanga Daioh about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the series, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last episode.

Then I watched the series again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Osaka every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Osaka.

I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Osaka. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Osaka everywhere.

I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Osaka dolls. Osaka is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.

I'm in love with Osaka. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Osaka. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.

So this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Osaka break free from behind her glass prison.

Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214362
You think I even care who you are? You are someone who shares the same opinion with OP, that's all that matters and everything I said applies to you too. Stop thinking the world revolves around yourself, it doesn't.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

SON OF A BITCH PIG DISGUSTING
I AM EXPERT STUPID MEME
THIS THREAD IS REPETITIVE
DO YOU WANT COPY?
DO YOU WANT PASTE?
PREVIOUS POST IS PIG DISGUSTING
OP IS A CLIPBOARD
FUCKING SUBMIT

[Anonymous No.]

Why can't people be nicer and OP was just a troll so this thread should ahve been ignored

[Anonymous No.]

Why is this shitfest of a thread on the first page?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

ahhhhh

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214379
And it is all your fault for coming up with such provocative comments.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214381

Just wow, I think now you are just trying to be as stupid as you can be!

infact, Im calling this the lamest troll ever.

I really hope thats really not how you are man, if so.. I got some bad news for you, you are traped in your own little world. not the other way around.

All my postive comments you tore to shit, thats not a reflection on me man.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

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[Anonymous No.]

>>5214393
See, you keep pitying us and calling us stupid. You really do have a superiority complex.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

JESUS TITTYFUCKING CRACK SMOKING CHRIST ON A MOPED WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THIS SAVED?!

SERIOSULY WHAT KIND OF PERSON SEEKS OUT, DOWNLOADS, SAVES AND REPOSTS AN IMAGE, AN ANIMATED IMAGE, OF A DEER FUCKING A CRYING SCHOOLGIRL?!

LIKE I KNOW THERE ARE BIZZARE FETISHES AND WEIRD SHIT THAT TURNS PEOPLE ON, AND YOU KNOW I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT, I JUST DON'T LOOK AT IT. BUT THIS.
FUCKING THIS.

THE FACT THAT SOMEBODY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS TO SAVE THIS...THING, AND THEN THAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTED TO SEE IT JSUT BOGGLES MY MOTHERFUCKING MIND. WHAT TYPE OF A PERSONA RE YOU? SERIOUSLY. DO YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELF OR DO YOU ACT LIKE A CREEPY FUCK IN PUBLIC TOO?! DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS AT ALL? I SURE AS FUCK HOPE NOT.

AND THE WORST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THAT IN ABOUT 30 POSTS THIS WILL MORPH INTO A LUCKY STAR PORN THREAD WITH ALMOST A HUNDRED IMAGES OF SIMILAR SITUATIONS DEPICTING CHILDREN BEING HORRIBLY MOLESTED THAT NEARLY A HUNDRED PEOPLE ALL HAVE SAVED TO THEIR HARD DRIVES TO JACK OFF OVER AS THE HELPLESS LITTLE GIRL SQUIRMS IN PANIC ON THEIR SCREEN FOR THEIR OWN ENJOYMENT.

JUST WHAT THE FUCK. I KNOW THIS IS HOW THE INTERNET WORKS BUT
WHAT
THE
FUCK

TOO MUCH. WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

(inb4 capslock is cruise control for cool, fuck off pedophiles I can press any damn key I please, go rot in jail)

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214392

Again, enjoy your negative crap.. and thinking this is a conspiracy and im a troll or Op.. Whatever :)

This just makes me understand how nice I should be, and greatful I'm alive and postive

If you want to call that gloating thats fine. at this point, anything i say you just want to shit on :)

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Is it cool story time? I have one saved.

I'll tell you guys an experience of mine.

Earlier this year I got summoned for jury duty, it would be the first time I'd left the house in about a year.
Coincidentally, this is also my first time being summoned for jury duty, so not only would I be in a completely new environment, but I'd be doing so alone (father can't accompany me and it's also embarrassing to have your dad hold your hand through jury duty.) and with my problems as a Hikkikomori and NEET.

My dad dropped me off at a building where I was told to go (Civil affairs, I think it was...) and so I'm on my own now. I'm all dressed up, had my hair cut, shaved and everything for this. I stumbled into a lady (or did she run into me?) either way, she dropped coffee on me and I ended up having to quickly take off my outer shirt so that the one under it wouldn't stain. I ended up taking almost both off, the second shirt coming up enough that it revealed my nipples. I'm super fucking skinny and it's really embarrassing and I was about to cry right there , I'm sure my eyes had been real fucking watery. The lady noticed (I think) and she took me to another room to get cleaned up. Fortunately The t-shirt I was wearing underneath the long sleeved one on top, was black and it barely got wet so no one would notice even if it had stained, but either way I felt horribly about my skinny arms that people would now be able to see, combined with my pale skin and the bags under my eyes from staying up so late, I was now super anxious about people thinking I'm a drug addict.

[Anonymous No.]

fucking normal fags, they get you every time, this is most of your guys fault to begin with

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

My Witch is a Golden Dreamer
Of practical Gohda WIN
Roughing on the creature
is naughty except in fall
The witch's golden dream, uh, it's Magical Gohda CheF!
I'm ganna piss in fire
For Magical Breeding Power

In a blowing panic, the very, very thing
is a gun breaking the darkness
Joe's in peas
YO Master Crazy!
The everyeverything.
In the hole, I'm feeling my 'broken artichoke'!

kihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi~

Your witch is a Golden Player
Romania's holes are three
You're ganna piss in fire
It's bloodier at this end, Doh
And the witch is a Golden Player
But Maria's gone away
Roughing on the creature
Then medical story GO!

Sing a song in silence
Thats really really low
He's a come, making a dark bishounen game
YO Master Crazy!
The everyeverything.
Oh the way, you're breaking my broken artichoke!

OH, the witch is Golden Bacon
I'm practically going to win!
Roughing on the creature is bloody except in bowl
The witch is Golden Bacon
Yes Magical Gohda CheF
I'm ganna piss in fire
For magical breeding power

In a growing panty, that's very very thin
Is a girl breaking the darkness
[Dunno those Kanji] please
YO Master Crazy!
The everyverything
In the hole, I'm feeling my broken artichoke!

Oh, the witch's Golden Salsa
Where Maria's going to sleep
You're ganna piss in fire
Los final octo-vole
In the witch's Golden Salsa
Oh Maria's going to wait
Roughing on the creature
Then medical story GO!

Purely purely silent
So graphically
[Kanji] comes, making his dark bishounen name
YO Master Crazy!
The everyeverything
OH they way, you're baking my broken artichoke!

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214409

Dude, I can just say you are so fucking negative anything I say you will view as a attack, correct?

Im not sitting on you, but again.. BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT

It's YOUR life!

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214411
Ok, you called us pathetic, you pitied us, you felt better about yourself, are you content now?

You may not be OP or a troll, but you should have learned something by now: we don't want people like you here either.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

In AD 2008... bird was beggining
Anonymous-What happen?
Anonymous2-somebody set up us the bird
Anonymous3-we get spaghetti
Anonymous-what?
Anonymous3-main oven turn on
Anonymous-its penne
BIRDS-how are you Anonymous?
BIRDS-all your pasta are belong to us
BIRDS-you are on the way to coction
Anonymous-what you say!?
BIRDS-you have no chance to survive make your trenne
BIRDS-HA HA HA!

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

My Beloved Bird Willow
now as you know the bird's name is mentioned 0 times in /jp/
let's skip a step and pretend Willow=0

we get My Beloved Bird 0
MBB0
Boof mentioned anagrams
flip this again and we have
B0MB
Japanese bird is B0MB
perhaps a bomb strong enough to cook all the spaghetti in the universe

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

What the hell? Even /co/ somehow sucks more than we do. Just look at their "list":

/a/: Kamina and Kittan, Madarame, Anno, Gary Oak, Matt, L, Ken, Desty Nova, Alita, Sechs, Yoruichi, Rock Lee and Might Guy, Goku, The Medicine Seller, Papillon, Speed Racer, Sailor Moon, Astro Boy, Lady Eboshi
/co/: /co/mrade league, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Spiderman, Nick Fury,Welton, Blade, Matt from Witch, the Question, Alan Moore, the cast of Swat Cats, Wolverine, Optimus, Megatron, Baroness, Barbara Gordon, Super Soldier (and his components), cockblockin Zuko, Snow Miser, Samurai Jack, Usagi Yojimbo, Huey Freeman, Nathan Explosion
/b/: Advice Dog, Chris Hansen, and Pedobear, mootle, snacks, Emiry, Cracky
/m/: Sage Gai Gar, Amuro Ray, Shinji Ikari, Master Asia, Toku Spiderman, ENIS,Yoshiyuki Tomino, Coop, Asuka Langley Soryuu, among others.
/jp/: Floating dog, the enire cast of the Touhou Project, Saber, Shiki, ZUN,Fredrica Bernkastle, the cast of Higurashi, among others
/v/: Captain Falcon, Duke Nukem, Ness, Travis Touchdown, Dio Brando, Big Boss, Wesker, Splash Woman, Ultros, Professor Layton, Botley, Kratos, Prince of Persia, Link, Symphony of the Night Dracula
/tv/: Juno, Jay and Silent Bob, Team Shaolin, the Bride, Dr. Cox, JD, Jason Bourne, Neo, Bruce Lee, Budnik
/tg/: Da Boyz, Dorfs, Neutronium Golem, Urza
/book/: Don Quixote, The Cullens, Harry Potter, Vimes, Wedge Antilles, Jean Valjean, Edmond Dantès
/k/ - Simo Hayah, Ernst Udet, Mikhail Kalashnikov, Eugene Stoner, Patton, Putin
/ck/ - Alton Brown, Iron Chef Chairman
Real life (general): David Bowie, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr., Freddie Mercury, da Vinci, LRH, Jamiroquai, Dave Chapelle, Neil Gaiman, Lewis Black
Misc - /co/nrad and the Board Tans

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214431

I never once called you pathetic, did i?

You may think, I think that.. but thats your own view.

Listen, I said all of this shit ironicly because I want to understand / in a weird way feel that people shouldn't be this jaded.

I may be off because im so postive, but I accept that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214428
I don't view it as an attack. I view it as some faggot who has the misconception anyone would want to hear about him or his offtopic interests. Just get out.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I want to be the best, there ever was
To beat all the rest, yeah that's my cause!

Radiatore, Pipe, Barbina, Manti
Quadrefiore, Rigate, Fiori, Pici
Stelle, Orzo, Pearl Pasta, Ditali
Pastina, Mezzelune, Fregula, Ravioli!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta cook'em all!
Pasta!

I'll search across the land, look far and wide
Release from my hand, the power that's inside!

Fideos, Trenette, Tagliatelle, Couscous
Bigoli, Pipe, Reginette, Mafalde
Fusilli, Fuzi, Al dente, Lanterne
Capelli d'angelo, Pennette, Trenne!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta cook'em all!
Pasta!

Funghini, Spätzle, Trennette, Trofie
Cencioni, Fideuà, Cellentani, Marille
Alphabet pasta, Capunti, Gramigna
Calamaretti , Ditalini, Lasagna!

Gotta cook'em all, gotta cook'em all!
Yeah!
Gotta cook'em all, gotta cook'em all!
Yeah!

Gotta' cook'em all, pasta! Ow!

Spaghetti, Ptitim, Fantolioni, Farfel
Fettuccine , Cappelletti!
Anellini, Croxetti, Strangolapreti
Orecchiette, Spirali, Strozzapreti!

At least 68, or more to see
To be a cooking master is my destiny!

Woah! Catch yer breath, man
Shake out those lips and loosen that tongue!
It's downhill from here
Just 24 more to go!
Now it gets tricky - so listen real good!

Sorrentini, Israeli couscous, Pelmeni
Risi, Fagottini, Tuffoli, Gnocchi
Rotini, Kreplach, Egg barley, Tortiglioni
Gigli, Rigatoni!!!
We're almost home!

Gotta cook'em all, gotta cook'em all!
Yow!
Gotta cook'em all, gotta cook'em all!
Huh!

Cannelloni, Casunziei, Penne, Gemelli, Panzerotti
Farfalle, Torchio, Foglie d'ulivo, that's all folks!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Oooh, gotta' cook'em all, Pasta!
Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Oooh, gotta' catch 'em all, Pasta!
Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta' cook'em all! Pasta!

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Afternoon /jp/, I've got a question for you. What is it that you see in Japanese birds cooking spaghetti?

The first time I had the concept explained to me I thought it would be the best shit ever; a bird, a bird sized kitchen, and a pot fitting of a kitchen sized for the bird, how can you go wrong? Then I downloaded it. All of it.

I downloaded the jpg. first, with the accompanying tengu cooking spaghetti, started it up and began the video. I had expected to stare at it for the rest of the day; if the picture kicked half as much ass as I thought it would, that would have been true. But it didn't. What I got was an inferior carrier pigeon with a spaghetti pot so DEEP that not even big dog would touch it.

Tell me /jp/, why spend so much of your time making threads on this sub par species when there are thousands of more interesting topics to create on the subject of Japan? There's a whole country out there yet you focus on such a small, meaningless, insignificant little bird. Am I missing something? Is there any redeeming aspect that I haven't noticed that should prevent me from removing it from my hard drive?

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214446
Then you are a troll, congratulations, you wasted my time, I bet you are gonna post about it on your facebook.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Hey humans,

My name is Japanese Bird, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day thinking of ways to cook up that terrible noodle known as ramen. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever made spaghetti? I mean, I guess it's fun cooking ramen for the billionth time because you don't have the courage nor power level to cook spaghetti, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than claiming udon is the best noodle in the world.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I've cooked spaghetti for many world leaders and mob bosses, and my spaghetti won best of show in the 238th World Spaghetti Show. What other noodles do you cook, other than that cheap ass cellophane noodle? Unlike you, girls throw themeselves at me, and I have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me cooking spaghetti.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214450

Sorry, i didn't know we are on a board about interests ;)

if you don't want to listen, you can do the same :)

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

The short, bearded figure stood on the stage, gesturing furiously as he declaimed on the evils of the RIAA and occasionally pacing around a bit.

"Richard, you've changed," murmured the balding, nondescript-looking man in the audience to himself.

After the talk, the bearded man strolled up the stairs, unconcerned by the train of scruffy-looking undergraduates following after. He was headed for the cookie table. As he began to shovel handfuls of madeleines and pecan brownies into his mouth, the bald, mustachioed man approached.

"Eric," the bearded man gasped, nearly dropping a handful of shortbread cookies (but not quite.)

"Richard," the bald man said firmly.

"What brings you here?" asked the bearded man. The undergraduates merely stared wide-eyed, knowing something special was happening, but not knowing quite what. At least, the ones who weren't also going for the cookie table.

"Well, Richard, you'll remember how we knew each other, seven years before you started the GNU project," said Eric.

"Yes..." Richard began to say, when he was interrupted by a particularly young-looking undergraduate.

"In the biblical sense?" taunted the undergraduate, as she adjusted her baseball cap and pulled on her red hair.

There was silence.

"Yes, young ladies and gentlemen, in the biblical sense," said Eric.

"I think we need to go upstairs, to my office," said Richard.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

public class The_solution_to_all_problems
{
public The_solution_to_all_problems(World world)
{
while(world.hasJews())
{
if(world.isHitlerdead()){
Human hitler = world.createHuman(Hitler.getStats());}
hitler.startHolocaust();
world.repaint();
}
}
}

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214466

I'm not, but hey. Whatever, i didn't waste your time, you choce to do this..

P.S. I don't do facebook? its a waste of time.

All i did was have a conversation, it takes two people to do it.

Call troll on anything if you want, you just don't see my view, and i don't see yours

thats fair to aggre one correct?

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214473
>i didn't know we are on a board about interests

That's because you are from /b/ and think all of 4chan works the same way. Now go back there.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>i
You have:
a Ron Penton Coin
a Coffee mug
some data structures
a copy of SICP
>e
You enter Ron Penton's Private Sexy Pleasures. There is a strong smell of smegma in the room.
>l
You are in Ron Penton's Private Sexy Pleasures. You see Ron Penton.
>put coin in Ron Penton
You put the coin in the Ron Penton. Ron Penton notices your data structures and starts peeing in your coffee mug.
>run
You cannot run. Ron Penton is filling the mug.
>PLUGH
You cannot PLUGH. Ron Penton has filled the mug and is staring at your asshole suggestively.
>throw data structures at Ron
You throw several STL structures at Ron Penton. Ron Penton is nonplussed.
>w
You try to go back but shitty collision detection prevents you from doing so. Ron Penton is approaching and licking his LIPS.
>read SICP
You start conjuring the spirits of the computer with your spells. Ron Penton twitches around.
>read SICP
Ron Penton's head has inflated by approximately 350%.
>read SICP
Ron Penton explodes. His guts are all over the wall.
>z
You rest.
>w
Now that the problem has been solved, you start heading back and take a sip from your mug on the way. OH SUSM-

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

i have been hacking seince i was 7 (im 13 now) my parents supported it, and it has helped many people, i have helped add security to sites by testing security, and there is a whole group of hackers im a part of at hackthissite.org hackers arnt bad, those are "crakers" who are mindless morons, you sir are the idiot, you trust the media, you didnt research you are the bad one. i have hacked many things but, for good. are you saying a site about killing people becuse of there race and supports it should stay up?? is that better than hacking?? i have hacked a site like that and shut it down. think im bad? F*ck you!!
i have broken some laws but, for good reasons, the government makes you think hacking is bad because the govrnment fears us, but us hackers dont fear them, so the government uses people whot think there hackers and shows them on tv then, people think thats what a hacker is. hacker acually means "one who is experienced in computers and problem solving" i think i have done good, and that i dont hack like black hats who are morons (pretty much "crackers") i hope i will change your opinion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214493

Sir, I don't go on /b/, I did like everyone else when they first started.

/b/ is too negative for me, ironicly haha.

Didn't see that one coming did you?

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214487
...

I don't want to see your "view", but you keep exerting it all over us. If you have something relevant to the board to say, please do so now, otherwise go away.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Shion Sonozaki waited. The cicadas around her cried and chirped out of the forest. There were demons in her bloodline. She didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. Her warnings to Mion were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Shion was a Sonozaki for eighteen years. When she was young she watched the yakuza and she said to Oryou "I want to be head of the family granny."
Oryou said "No! You will BE POSSESS BY DEMONS"
There was a time when she believed her. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the Watanagashi of the Hinamizawa she knew there were demons.
"This is for Satoshi" the demons crackered. "You must fight everyone!"
So Shion gotted her Tazer and zapped up the town.
"SHE GOING TO KILL US" said her friends
"I will beg at her" said Keiichi and he pleaded for Mion's safety promise. Shion hammered at him and tried to crucify him up. But then the police came and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! You must resist the demons" Keiichi shouted
Shion said "No, Keiichi. I am the demons."
And then Shion was a zombie.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214505
Then go back to whatever board you hail from. And take your emoticons with you.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up croma lisp* my name is patrick collison but u can call me t3h LiSpNiK oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very lisp!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet lispers like me ^_^... im 19 years old (im very lisp 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch sussman & abelson w/ my boyfreind (im web 2.0 if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favourite tv show!!! bcuz its so lisp!!!!! hes lisp 2 of course but i want 2 meet more lisp ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein lispy again ^_^ hehe...toodles

[Anonymous No.]

I wish that guy would at least try learning english first before starting to shit up boards. I can't laugh while having to decipher his shitposts.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214508

Alright, and you keep being introverted in a negative not postive way.

and I'm not going to " go away " because some person is confused and taken back by my views.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Dinosaurs are one of the coolest things from my childhood, and I remember all the dinos-- MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL ABOUT THEM? MOTHERFUCKER, I WANT A CUTE LITTLE VELOCIRAPTOR AS A PET, TO CUDDLE UP WITH HIS FEATHERS AND EVERYTHING. I DON'T MEAN A JURASSIC PARK VELOCIRAPTOR EITHER, THAT'S A DIENONYCHUS, I'M TALKING ABOUT A REAL VELOCIRAPTOR. ABOUT THE SIZE OF A CAT, AND IT'S A PACK ANIMAL, SO IT WOULD BE LIKE HAVING A TWO LEGGED DOG COVERED IN FEATHERS. I'D TOTALLY NAME HIM SOMETHING AWESOME, LIKE NATHANIEL OR SOMETHING, AND I'D CARRY HIM AROUND WITH ME, AND MAYBE TEACH HIM TO STAND ON MY SHOULDER, AND ALL THE GIRLS WOULD BE ALL OVER IT, THEY'D BE "OH, ENGARDE, THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE RAPTOR YOU'VE GOT THERE, CAN I PET HIM?" AND I'D BE LIKE, "WELL, SURE YOU CAN, NATHANIEL LIKES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN." AND THEN SHE'D BE ALL BLUSHY, AND WE'D START A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ABOUT RAPTORS, BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE DINOSAURS.
I'D HAVE NATHANIEL SIT ON MY DESK AND KEEP ME COMPANY ALL DAY.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214517

I think my english is pretty good compared to most people on 4 chan! but thanks :)

i feel honored.

I really can't believe how such a simple post got this much... hate.

[Anonymous No.]

That's a lot of replies.

Can someone give me a summary of this troll?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

At precisely 11:59 PM GMT, I press "play" on my sound system, a CD containing a masterful rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" prepares to play at ear-shattering volumes. I strip the glove quickly before the CD begins, throwing it hastily out of sight. Should I fail to throw it far enough, I must stop the CD player before the pre-arranged five second silence is finished. That day, there will be no pleasure.

Should the glove be out of sight and out of mind, all is well. I sit back, and let the vibrations of sound finish the job. I stare at the only image that has yet fulfilled my criteria for arousal, and a glorious geyser of semen erupts from my penis, splattering every which way in the room. I sit in a half-conscious daze of joy for nearly half an hour before I prepare for the hour-long task of cleansing my computer room once again.

Even as I finish up, I hear the fading whispers in my delusional mind from the image which I stare at so deeply.

Now if you'll pardon me, I shall take my leave and indulge myself in delicious pudding confectionaries before it is time for self-pleasure.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5214529
the typical permavirgin pushing his virginity issues onto others and saying we should go outside and get pussy instead of doing whatever we want

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214545

Lulz, you really think that mate?

You are posting bullshit spam to try to kill what im saying.

I just said stop being so fucking hateful, I never said hobbies were bad.

but the sex part I DID say, but it seems to made everyone a little too bitter, even if it was a joke / serious.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214518
>>5214527
The hate you generated was because you showed no respect to anyone and anything in here whatsoever. Oh, and your English is indeed horrendous (don't think /jp/ works the same as the rest of the Internet).

>>5214529
The "hai guis im normalfag why are all of you so pathetic? :)" kind.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

My Aikido dojo is across from a Karate dojo. We usually get alot of rude remarks from them, such as Aikido being for weaklings.

Well, one of them challenged me, he was a white male in his 20's. I accepted of course, I never back down from a challenge.

He had really good form, but his Karate was no match for my Aikido. He delivered a great kick but it was nothing for me, I easily grabbed it and knocked him down with a kick. This went on for about 10 minutes until he got too tired.

He got frustrated and left, he was about to cross the street but I stopped him from getting hit by a speeding cyclist. He didn't say thanks but it still felt good to save someone.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Japanese Martial Arts, is really an art isn't it?

Lets check out Aikido for moment. A style that doesn't even use any strikes to beat down your opponent, sound pretty cool right?

Here is a video of Aikido practitioners demonstrating various moves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ8VLPPTuH0

Note how graceful they are, it's like you are watching them dance and not fighting at all, a beautiful dance I might add.

What do you think? About Aikido and Japanese Martial Arts in general.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214560

Ah, whatever you say! My English is fine :) I'm not writing a paper for college now am I?

If anything is egofilled it's what you just said? AMIRIGHT?

I have no idea what this respect thing you are talking about, infact... a lot of people aggred with me?

ENGRISH ENGRISH ENGRISH, sigh...

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

After a long walk between the bookcases, she stops. And she starts searching for that book.
"May I help you?" you say already seeing the book, and that Koakuma searches at the wrong place. You get the book down from the bookcase.
"Oh, you've found it!" she says smiling. But why is she blushing so heavily? She steps closer to you. She hugs you, you try to push her away, because your first thoughts was Sakuya and her silver knives...
But, her pretty hands won't let go of you.
"Oh? What's wrong?" you ask her surprised.
"...you smell good." She stares you with dreamy eyes. "Awww...your scent makes me dizzy..."
"Whaaaat!?"
"Umm...milk...I want milk..."
"Are you alright, Koakuma?" Koakuma looks at you vacantly and puts her hands on your pants.
What the...wait a minute!!"

ZIIIIIIP...

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Patchouli looks at the two of you and drops the book from her hands.
"Koakuma...what the hell are you two doing?!" Patchouli asks shocked and she blushes and covers her face in her hands.
You bitterly smile as you look down at Koakuma sucking your shaft.
"Umm...mmm...CHAP-CHAP... his cock is getting bigger...it doesn't fit in my mouth...ummm...SLURP-SLURP." The enchanted Koakuma massages your abs and sucks on you like a kitten does to its mother's titty.
"She said something about my smell, and this happened..."
"Then...why don't you hurry up and cum?" Patchouli reddens and yells at you.
"Y...yeah, but...it's not that easy..." you say, but your shaft is only half erect because of the shock.
"...the milk won't come out...ohh, I'm thirsty..." Koakuma says. "SLURP-SLURP...MUMPH-MUMPH...I want milk now..."
Koakuma flails her legs. Then Patchouli walks up to her.
"Koakuma, you have to do more to have him make milk."
"Is that so?" she says.
"Uh-huh. You have to tickle the tip like this or lick the sack up...massage his balls and the shaft if necessary." Patchouli kindly advises Koakuma.
"I understand. Let me try now!"
Koakuma flattens her devilish ears and wiggles her tongue on your shaft.
"Umm...CHAP-CHAP-CHAP...ohh..."

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Ohh!! This is super..." The electrifying sensation further raises in your shaft upward. "Your advice is working, Patchouli...you're sure experienced." You bear the pleasure and tell Patchouli.
"What do you mean I'm experienced? I just read that in a book. I've never actually done it, myself..." Patchouli timidly tells you this and quiets down.
"Sorry, I didn't know you hadn't..."
"Hey, don't make me say something like this!" Patchouli looks away, but she doesn't stop peeking at our act.
"Ummm...SLURP-SLURP-SLURP...you taste thicker than before...ohh...I want to drink it...please...ummm..." Koakuma erotically twists her hips and clumsily keeps stimulating you and you see that her tail elegantly sways as she moves.
"Ohh...I feel good, Koakuma..."
"I'll serve you good, so...give me a lot of milk...MUMPH-MUMPH." Koakuma buries her face in my crotch and serves your dick. You see her ears are still fluttering.
"CHAP-CHAP...the extract is coming out...ohhh, it makes me feel dizzy...umm..." Her warm tongue entangles around your shaft. The softness quickly takes you up high.
"Ahhh...I feel like I'm floating in the air...ummmm..." Koakuma sweetly pats and touches herself.
CHAP-CHAP-CHAP...
You hear wet sounds.
"Ah, my tummy feels numb....ummm...!"
BRRRR. She trembles as her body flushes pink. She continues to massage your dick.

[Anonymous No.]

Suigin, do you have the "asshair net" pasta? I've been looking for it for years.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

You are quickly reaching the edge:
"K...Koakuma, I'm...cumming...ohh..."
"Please...cum...cum a lot..SLURP-SLURP...ummm...." she strokes your dick with her hand and taps the tip with her tongue.
I feel a burning sensation inside me. The heat gathers at my crotch. Every time she moves her tongue, a hot pleasurable sensation seethes up.
"Ummm...ummm...CHAP-CHAP...cum, please cum now...MUMPH-MUMPH..."
She passionately pants and strokes you harder.
"...I can't hold on any longer!!"you say and after a moment later "I'm cumming!!"
Your groin tenses up and your concentrated extract rushes through your gun barrel and shoots out into Koakuma's mouth.

SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!!
"Ahhh...umm...your milk...your thick milk is filling me up...GULP-GULP..."

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"I will go and tell this to Miss Sakuya!" Patchouli says with a wide smile on her face.But probably because she sees your and Koakuma's shocked she changes her mind "Ah, alright alright. Then I won't tell her this. But I have one condition."
"What would it be?" you ask her, ready to make anything that she wishes.
"Then you promise me, that you will return to my libary!" her face reddens again as she continues. "you know.. to make me experienced, at those things..."
"Because you can't learn everything from a book." you say, helping her through to the end her sentence. "I think I can promise this."
"Okay, right... Koakuma please guide him out." she says and she disappears behind a bookshelf.

Koakuma looks at you blushed, and tired. She gives you a warm smile, then she speaks:
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist, your smell..." she turns away "I-I just... well where do you want to go?"
"I think..."
>>5214601
no

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214577
>I'm not writing a paper for college now am I?
You are communicating with other people. And I feel offended when you don't consider me important enough to type properly.

>agrred
No, it isn't fine.

And the people who "agrred" with you were either trolling you or didn't even care.

As for the rest... you really seem too immature to understand what I'm trying to tell all this time and too stuck up to interpret it as anything other than "egotistic rambling". You are hardly worth anyone's time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214623

Holy shit, everyone was claming i have a superiority complex but you have no room to talk.

To be honest, I think this is pretty fucking insane how people can't learn to understand or accept others if they just want to speak their mind.

You sir are the troll, and like i said before... If you really act this way in real life, I feel sorry for you.

infact, I know someone who used to go on /b/, she almost killed herself like a idiot in a anhero thread.

This is why im so postive? because I'm sure a lot of people on here are just fucking down in the dumps.

understand?

[Anonymous No.]

I can't believe you two are still arguing with each other even while the thread is being flooded with shit to kill it. You type are the ones that kill the site.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them and stared menacingly. In a loud booming voice, it asked "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" and everything turned black.

When they woke up, they found themselves sitting in a lecture hall at MIT, amonst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the board. Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, wearing his robe and wizard hat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214661

Sorry man, i don't think some dump of text is going to stop me from expressing myself. I'd have a shit view if i broke that easy

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the strangely-dressed group, shocked and staring back at him.

"What...?" Patchouli managed to say, all of them confused and unable to understand what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"What's going on?" Koakuma whispered to Patchouli.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."

The Sussman produced a wand and waved it in the air, muttering to himself. A bright flash of light filled the room, and a stream of glowing parentheses shot out the end of the wand, dissappearing into the air. The students applauded loudly.

"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" Koakuma whispered.

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at her with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at her.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, moving his hands in a series of complex movements as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Patchouli muttered almost inaudibly.

Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, retrieving his wand and pointing at her with it.

"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"

"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."

"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," Koakuma exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214684

I'm really wow'ed you are really putting this much time into does this :)

I see why people hate tripfags so much

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Now perish!" The Sussman shouted, conjuring a huge pair of parentheses from his wand, which surrounded the group and enveloped them in a closure.

"What do we do now?!?!" Koakuma screamed at Patchouli.
"I don't know!" she shouted angrily in reply as the both of them hammered as hard as they could against the invisible, unyielding walls of the closure.

"I hope you learned your lesson, freaks!" The Sussman exclaimed, as the closure rose up towards the ceiling with the two trapped inside, exploding into a shower of white parentheses as it hit the top. The Sussman returned the wand to his pocket and continued lecturing.

...

"Where... are we?" Koakuma whispered as she opened her eyes to find Patchouli lying next to her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214652
>if they just want to speak their mind.

Here's you problem: you came to the wrong place to speak your mind. Here, let me help you:
twitter.com
It's a site where people state their mind whenever they want for everyone to see, that's the right website to use. If you have something not /jp/ related you want to share with the world, say it there. We discuss different things in here, among which is NOT our personal life.

>>5214661
No, mister, Bawson spam is an example of killing the site. I was hoping for this to get deleted as soon as possible, but since nobody cares, I got to kill time somehow.

[None !WEEABooXS6 No.]

>>5214673
Your view is that people can't be happy if they don't have sex?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"I think that guy said something about the 'land of Java'" Patchouli said in a low voice as they both sat up to find themselves in an empty office cubicle. The sound of mouse clicks and typing could be heard coming from around them.

They cautiously walked towards the opening of the cubicle, which lead to a long, brightly lit hallway that seemed to go on forever.

"Let's find a way out of this place," Koakuma said.

They walked into the cubicle beside the one they respawned in, but it wasn't empty; there was a desk, a computer, and an expressionless, bald man with startingly white skin sat there, staring into the monitor and pressing the keys frantically. They could see he was playing Perfect Cherry Blossom.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Umm... excuse me? Could you ---" Koakuma began.

The man remained focused on the game.

"Hello?!?!" Patchouli screamed at him while waving her arms across his eyes. The man remained undisturbed, and continued to graze with astonishing accuracy. Even when she covered her eyes completely he did not miss at all.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" she exclaimed, kicking him and then the monitor; but nothing refused to move --- it was as if there was a barrier surrounding him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214692
Setting a script to dump copypasta is not "effort", bub.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Seeing that nothing in the cubicle would respond to their attempts at moving or destroying it, they gave up and walked out into the hallway.

"This place sure is wierd," Patchouli commented sadly, "let's see what's in the other ones."

They visited several more cubicles, but the situation was the same; in each one was a man playing one of the Touhou series, and none of them could be disturbed by anything they did. After a while, it became apparent that almost every one of the cubicles was identical, and the hallway seemed to go on forever in either direction.

They continued to walk in silence, looking into the cubicles on either side for any sign of escape. One of them seemed to be empty except for a single purple book lying exactly in the middle, and aligned perfectly with the four walls.

"This one's different! But... what can we do?" Koakuma said as they entered it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214709

I can freely do whatever I want man, if you don't aggre or want to talk to me. Don't

I didn't even make this thread.

Everyone else just got so fuckings OMFG EMOTES WHAT A FAG

I found that laughable on a site like 4 chan, hugely when this is /jp/

>>5214711

of course not? what the hell... man.. im guessing no one is reading anything i said

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Patchouli reached for the book, and to their surprise it moved with her touch. She picked it up and turned it over.

On the cover was a picture of a wizard and the words "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs".

"Structure and Inter--- wait, is this the SICP that snake mentioned before we ---" Koakuma exclaimed.

"I think I remember now!" Patchouli shouted excitedly. "It said something about reading SICP!" She opened it and turned to the first chapter.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214722

Thats true! Oh well.. i still think its a little stupid

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5214730
can i call you babelfish-kun?

[Anonymous No.]

rolling

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

They started reading the first chapter, and just as they finished the first section, the lights of the cubicle flickered and the two of them were once again immersed in darkness.

"What now?" Koakuma asked, "didn't we read it?"

A deep rumbling sound was heard, and the floor began to shake. They held onto each other as they felt themselves falling through it, then fainting.

They woke up to find that they were back where they started, and the huge black snake head was still staring at them. Patchouli continued to hold the purple book tightly against her chest.

"You have read your SICP today", the head hissed before disappearing into the air.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214742

Thats fine! :) I understand my thinking is all over the place. That is my fault.. so I type really, different?

Sorry, Im sure im not looking like the most educated person at the moment.

It happenes sometimes when I really get into something im saying.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

hinji...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /jp/. FSN is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Sakura and stole Rider to use in the war?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Sakura. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Sakura.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK SAKURA? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Shinji knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Sakura want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Rider and used her in the war for his own greed.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from a brutal war so wrong? When Shirou does the same thing to Saber it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Shinji does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Sakura. He probably was going to use his Holy Grail wish to tighten her cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shirou look good. Objectively, Shinji is a far better character than Shirou. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shirou, and if he weren't stuck with the weak ass servant Rider and no plothax he probably would have won the war.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214730
No you can't. This is why rules, laws and guidelines exist, so that faggots like you can't go around shitting up the world.

Using emoticons on an imageboard is a sign of faggotry period.

Exactly, this is /jp/, which is not like the rest of 4chan.

Seriously, now I'm really intrigued to know what part of the Internet you came from, as well as what motivated you to come in here. Your blatant ignorance about the culture of this board is astounding.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

126,000 YEARS MASTER DRAGON HIKKIKOMORI. HAVE NOT LEFT DUNGEON FOR FOOD IN CENTURIES EVER SINCE VALIANT KNIGHT CHAINED ME DOWN HERE. I AM SCARED OF LEAVING BECAUSE I MIGHT RUN INTO MORE KNIGHTS CAUSING SOCIAL ANXIETY. I WILL PROBABLY DIE A VIRGIN BECAUSE DRAGON-CHAN DOES NOT LIKE GROSS OTAKU-RYU LIKE ME. WHY MUST THE OPPOSITE SEX INSULT MY JAPANESE SPIRIT?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Animated," he said.

This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,

the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during

the festival of loli-worship.

The prayer of RaptorJesus:

Our Raptor,

Who art in /h/eaven,

shopped be Thy face;

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED INDENTATION OF THE CODE
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY OTHER CAR I GUESS ?
ITS A CDR
AND IS PRONOUNCED ``CUDDER''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
THIS IS /prog/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SATORI
PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I'm the goddamn Batman, and I think it's time I said this.

Every Superman I've ever met has had his head stuck up his own ass. Batman should seriously rule the world. There'd be no war because that's just one cape size comparison. There'd be no hunger or crime, because we actually know how to throw Batarangs at other people. All that backstabbing bitchiness shit is the result of a Superman-dominated society. The only reason you say gb2/Gotham is that you're all lazy Kryptonian fucks who don't want to do anything for yourselves because you're dependent on the goddamn Batman. God, I'd love to cut the dick off every snide Kryptonian I meet and shove it down his own throat, then rape him to near-death with a red-hot Kryptonite bar, then gouge his eye out and shit in the socket.

This isn't copypasta, either, and I'm really the goddamn batman.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214758

First off, I have been on 4 chan for about 3 / 4 years?

I don't give a shit about a common ' rule ' because thats bullshit. People use faces like that all the time.

Just some people think it's lame, I really don't think I should take it seriously. you just use the word " fag " to make your point.

Why don't you stop shitting on people for the dumbest reasons.

it makes YOU look really fucking dumb.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

OKAY YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
GODFUCKIGNDAMN
FIRST OF ALL, YOU DONT FUQIN KNOW WHAT A MAN PAGE IS
SECONDLY, THIS IS /prog/ DO NOT DEMAND USEFUL ANSWERS THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO BE
THIRDLY PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT PHILOSOPHY AND ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
AND FUQIN LASTLY, FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BULLSHITE
EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY BEEN ANSWERED IN >>3,4,10

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

One time my sister and grandpa were in the room with me while I was doing some homework. My grandpa told my sister that if she didn't take her underwear off, he was going to "fucking kill her". Needless to say, she took her underwear off. He put a makeshift ballgag in her mouth made from a sock and some duct tape to prevent my parents from hearing the screaming. Next- he told me to take my underwear off or "I would be fucking next", as he started to cut my sisters abdomen with a swiss army knife. He made me fuck the hole he cut in her stomach, while I weeped softly and wished I was somewhere else. Afterwards, he took his pants off and told us that his PENIS was the snake that made mommy and that if we told her, it was going to poison her. My sister died that night from internal bleeding. And I have been a nympho ever since.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214730
>I can freely do what I want, I'm a special snowflake my mommy told me so xD

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214797

That made me laugh :)

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214783
What are you? 15? Get over yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214807

Im 24, but THANKYA!

:)

What are you? 12 and what is this? ;)

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214783
Oh, great, another of those rebels without a cause.


Unlike emoticons, "fag" works differently here, bub.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

In Alice's bedroom with the door shut behind them, the magician began to remove the soiled dress of the witch; however, she was met with a forceful hand.

"What are you doing ze~? I don't need your help," muddled Marisa with the slightest hint of red in her cheek. "I can do this myself. Also, what are those things..." she pointed to her bed. Alice picked up one of the white objects; "those can't be..." the magician nodded.

Marisa signed with a hint of disgust, "You get weirder everyday, doll freak..." A thought occurred. "Hey, wait, why do you even have those things?" Hesitant, Alice lifted her skirt and revealed that she herself was wearing a diaper. Despite the humility that bestowed onto Marisa minutes ago, a smile came to her face. "So it is true, you do lea..."

Alice forcefully grunted and a trio of dolls surrounded the witch. One quickly flew behind Marisa and untied her apron and the other two grabbed the straps of her dress and lifted it over her head; the dolls then flew off with the garments. Before the black-white had a chance to fight it, she stood in Alice's bedroom with nothing but her shirt and soaked bloomers.

Alice, face redden, placed her hand on the witch's shoulders and led her to her bed. Marisa, unsure of what she should do, was forcefully seated on the edge and pushed back by the doll otaku.

Alice excitingly placed her fingers on the witch's waist; as she was about to pull down her bloomers, the magician was met with Marisa's grasp.

[Anonymous No.]

Suigin, somebody figured out your Kazami trip?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"No, ze~. Don't you dare do that." Just then, a group of dolls flew onto Marisa and restrained her arms and legs once again. "Dammit, ze~; let me go!" Alice ignored the demand and pulled down the wet bloomers. Staring at what was now exposed, trickles of blood dripped from the magician's nose.

"You sad, lonely freak." Marisa remarked as it was all she could do. Wiping the drippings of passion from her face, she slid the diaper under Marisa. Sprinkling a blot of powder onto the area, she quickly taped the garment into position before she fainted from blood loss.

Regaining her composure, Alice witnessed what she had accomplished and let out a delightful smile. Flushed with redness, she placed her face next to Marisa's and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then with a soft giggle, she slowly walked toward the door.

"I'll make some tea and cakes." The dollmaster opened the door and exited the room; her minions release their grasp on the witch and followed.

Marisa sat up, hearing the unfamiliar crinkle as Alice's success, and pondered what the magician really meant to her.

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them, and in a loud booming hiss, asked "Have you read your SICP today?"

The surroundings faded into blackness and within a few moments the group found themselves seated in a lecture hall at MIT, amongst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the blackboard, and Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, dressed in his robe and wizard hat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214814

Thats fine, just don't claim to be right when you are insulting homosexuals, It sort of makes your point look m00t

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214800
No, you got butthurt and tried to brush it off by laughing.

[Anonymous No.]

faget shit?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the witch, the magician, Alice, and Marisa.

"What...?" Marisa managed to say, all of the confused by what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

"What's going on?" Alice whispered to Marisa.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at the witch with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at the witch.

All of the other students turned in the direction of the group.

"Nothing," she answered quietly.

"I hope so," The Sussman said in stern tone, ending his pointing with the wand.

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, waving his wand around as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Marisa muttered almost inaudibly.

Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, pointing with his wand.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214825

Why would i get hurtbutt on 4 chan?

Do you really think I would ever let that happen?

You'd have to be a pretty weak person

[None !NACK.rrrr. No.]

What the fuck is this thread

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214824
I don't insult homosexuals. But, you are still an idiot.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"

"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."

"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," the witch exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"

The Sussman raised his wand and a pointed it at the group, sending from its blunt point a stream of red parentheses. Almost immediately Alice sent forth her dolls, which collided with the parentheses at 61.8034% of their way toward her, creating a blindingly bright blue ball of plasma. The other students watched in amazement as the parentheses slowly ate their way through the doll-storm towards Alice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214837

Saying fag is just that, is it not?

Holy shit, you can't even give me that?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Youmu started to spasm again and Yuyuko almost used Youmu's clitoris as a guitarr.
At last she was about to come.
You started to dig your tongue deeper into her pussy.
Aaah!! AAAaaahh!!
Youmu came and this time it was pouring out juice with no end and you sucked and sucked and you started to some laughter and screams.

You opened you eyes and both Youmu and Yuyuko was gone.
All you saw was a ceiling.
You was still dazed but could hear the laughter even more now. Suddenly your best friends girlfriend comes up and looks down on you
-Was it that good of a dream eh?
Was this all a dream? You thought.
-It must've been if you look at his cock she said with a laughter.

You felt the embarrassment coming from all direction as well as the staring look from everyone around you.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Suigin !YUsuiginy. Thu Apr 15 20:29:18 2010 No.4893951

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

_、,_
　① （⊂_　　ﾐ　Invented by Korean
　↓
　 ② （ ´_⊃｀）　Commercialized by American
　↓
　③ ﾐ　´_＞｀） Invested by British
　↓
　④ ξ ・_>・） Designed by French
　↓
　⑤ （ ´U_,｀） Publicized by Italian
　 ↓
　⑥ （　´∀｀）　Improved & miniaturized by German
　↓
　⑦ （ ｀ハ´）　Pirated by Chinese
　↓　　　_,,_
　⑧ <ヽ｀д´>　Claimed its origin by Japanese

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214845
No, but I can give you something else. A "get out".

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214783
/jp/ IS AND SHOULD BE FULL OF ELITEST FAGGOTS WHO FUCKING HATE ALL EMOTICONS MEMES AND REACTION IMAGES

ANYONE WHO USES THEM IS A FUCKING RETARDED NEWFAG OR IS COMPLETELY RETARDED

THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE OLDFAGS THAT USE REACTION IMAGES ARE RETARDED TRIPFAGS LIKE ARC, SION, AKIRO, REMI (IT'S A GOOD THING THAT THIS DYKE LEFT), AND OTHER RETARDED TRIPFAGS

WHAT ARE YOU, HUH!?

A RETARDED NEWFAG!?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214876

Why do you fucking care so much?

stop responding to me, then maybe the thread will die

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Super Mario Bros 3 sucks a fucking cock.
This game is shit, plain and simple.

Oh, let's all get the warp whistle and warp to "big world"! Too bad big world isn't fucking fun, like the rest of this game. The entire thing is designed to anger and frustrate you. Oh, you get Kuribo's shoe on one fucking level! Wow, pardon me while I make the universal motion for a handjob. Kuribo's shoe fucking sucked. What did it do, exactly? It let you JUMP ON THINGS, something you were able to do the entire fucking game. Oh, also you looked gay.

There are some interesting power-ups in the game, such as Tanookie Mario, Hammer Mario, and Frog Mario. But guess what? You can get them on like 2 levels total, and if you fuck up and get hit ONCE, you lose them, FOREVER. Wow, that's fun! I love games that demand I play perfectly or have no fun, because I'm a fucking jap who strives for absolute perfection in gaming otherwise I kill myself.

Mario 3 may have been interesting or fun at one time, but the game is a worthless piece of shit in today's day and age. It's horribly flawed and full of punch-in-the-dick moments, much more so than it has moments that are just fun to play.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214880

Whatever helps you post mate :)

GTFO OF MY /JP/?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Imperishable Night sucks a fucking cock.
This game is shit, plain and simple.

Oh, let's all beat the fourth stage boss and go to "Eientei"! Too bad Eientei isn't fucking fun, like the rest of this game. The entire thing is designed to anger and frustrate you. Oh, you get to play as a team! Wow, pardon me while I make the universal motion for a handjob. Playing as a team fucking sucked. What did it do, exactly? It let you SHOOT FAIRIES, something you were able to do the entire fucking game. Oh, also you looked gay.

There are some interesting shot types in the game, such as Marisa, Sakuya, and Youmu. But guess what? You can use them on like 2 levels total, and if you later on you unfocus and get hit ONCE, you never use them AGAIN since you are afraid of dying again. Wow, that's fun! I love games that demand I play perfectly or have no fun, because I'm a fucking jap who strives for absolute perfection in gaming otherwise I kill myself.

Imperishable Night may have been interesting or fun at one time, but the game is a worthless piece of shit in today's day and age. It's horribly flawed and full of punch-in-the-dick moments, much more so than it has moments that are just fun to play.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214882
My pleasure, as long as you go back to wherever you came from.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my lastest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarassing this is to me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214896

I think now im going to go on /jp/ a lot.. Just to see if i run into people like you again.

It's extremely interesting! So thanks for my new hobby :)

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Okay, so now I'm more anxious than ever before and I go back to the room where everyone else who was summoned was waiting (and where the accident happened..), holy fuck. I sat alone in a corner in the FRONT (the only empty seat..) and waited, and waited.. for about 30 minutes that seemed like years to me, I was sweating through the whole thing, with watery eyes. I could fucking feel everyone's eyes burning into my back. (My eyes just got wet remembering it ;_;) Anyway, so from about 50 people that were gathered here, only 30 would have to go to the courthouse.. Yeah "go to the courthouse" FUCK ME. The whole fucking time I was under the impression that this was the courthouse, even though it didn't look like one. So I'm sitting there listening as the same lady from before is calling out the names. So I'd been keeping count, hoping that I wasn't one of them, we're at 29 and I'm about to scream inside my head with joy... and she calls out my name. A tear literally fell down my eyes and I walked out as fast as I could, only to have her call out to me and go.. hey! are you so-and-so? Then I remembered people answering "here" as if they were in school and I said with the shakiest voice possible "yeah" and she says to me, Here these are the directions on how to get there, and so I had to walk all the way back up there, get the paper and then go back out.. all while everyone else who wasn't called, but told to wait anyway, stared fixedly at my pathetic face.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214907
Just wait until you meet our Maid.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214836
see my derp at >>5214827

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Okay so now I'm outside this building (I honestly don't remember what it was called, but Civil Affairs comes to mind.. anyone know if I'm right or wrong?) and I reach into my pocket for my cellphone so that I can call my dad and let him know that I need a ride to the courthouse (that is about 4 miles away)... Okay found my wallet, and some gum in one pocket let's check the other.. okay there's some cigarettes and a lighter, no phone. I finally broke down right there. Tears came down and I must have had that face that you would make if you found out your mother died (or someone dear to you). As I started walking to the streetlight so that I'd cross the street and make my way there on-foot, a lady called out to me from her car and asked me if I needed a ride. Tears still flowing down my eyes, I meekly answered "...yeah". I got in the car and she gave me a tissue and (thankfully) didn't say anything throughout the drive. When we got there, I quickly said thanks and got out of the car and went to a fountain that was near the entrance, I put a bit from the sleeve from my top shirt into it and washed my face with it and decided to wait until everyone else got into the courthouse (there was a line...).

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214912

Oh hai there, I can't wait! :)

Maybe ill even make a lame tripfag name and call myself babelchan, why not!

this could be interesting

[Anonymous No.]

Suigin. GET OUT.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Okay so I smoked a cigarette to calm down a bit and get that "buzz" so that I'd feel better, after a few minutes of waiting there was only about 5 people left waiting to go inside. I got in line and was quickly inside, there I was told by a security guard to take out everything from my pockets and put it in a tray, the whole time the guard was glaring at me (probably my appearance and the shirt hanging over my shoulder...) when I got to my cigarettes I swear he lifted one of his eyebrows and I imagined him going "hoh..."...fuck. I'm only 19 so I can't buy cigarettes combined with my addict appearance, ohhh dammit. So I put the tray into that machine that turns.. like the ones used in airports. And I had to go through one of those metal detectors, I wasn't worried, but it went off anyway. What the fuck could I have had that made it go off? Well another guard came up with one of those hand-held metal detectors and started looking for it. but it didn't go off. So then he just started feeling me up and said that it was probably just my necklace. So I turned to the other guard he's standing there with the cigarettes in his hand and he says to me "How old are you ,son?" 19 sir... And he just glared at me and put them back in the tray and gave me a frightening look. I was still feeling buzzed from the cigarette earlier so I didn't break down, but nonetheless it was scary.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I turned toward where everyone else was and wow, before me was this huge hallway absolutely packed with people, it was a hallway that lead into a bigger area, but the walls were packed with people sitting down in their chairs, it was a hallway of people some staring right at me, seemingly having watched what happened with me and the guards. So there I took what felt like a walk of shame down this looong hall. There were no seats left anywhere at all. Even there were, I probably wouldn't sit next to anyone else. So I found a stairway that lead somewhere below and hid there. I didn't know what to expect next since I'd never done this before, so I just waited. For about 30 minutes I sat on heels and waited until I heard a voice yell out, calling for everyone's attention. I went back up (I was only enough steps down so that no one would notice me) and listened to her instructions. She said "Okay everyone please pay attention, the people whom I call out are assigned to room 3B" and so again, like before, names were called out, but this time I was one of the first to be called, after finishing she said that anyone who was not called could go home and they wouldn't have to serve on a trial. A guy with a neckbeard (white from old age) and glasses patted me on the back and said " I guess we're the lucky ones, huh? Haha" I just did one of those awkward laughs and said "..yeah"

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214924
Yeah, please do that, you will show the whole world how immature you really are.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

So now there was about 30 people I would guess (It was still a lot, but nothing compared to the seemingly hundreds from before). We were told to wait and that we'd be called into the actual court room for further instructions. I made my way to a chair off near one of those EXITs where you're not allowed to open the door, you know the emergency only ones? I sat down and closed my eyes relaxing in my new found solitude.. until I heard a noise right next to me, it was that same guy from before dammit. I wanted to get out of there and find a new seat, but I didn't want to be mean either, I felt trapped as he began to chat me up. He started asking me all kinds of things like my age and he'd reply with his own answer as if the question was for both of us. This guy had these really skinny pants and a yellow/orange navy shirt and he was old. I made my mind up that this guy was gay and was hitting on me (old guys are always gay). I wasn't going to hesitate anymore I was about to get up and leave to another area until the the bailiff called out for everyone from 3B. He told us all to take a seat in the court room and pay close attention to the Judge. So in we went. I walked quickly and even cut in front of some people so that I wouldn't have to sit next to the old neckbeard.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214946

I wouldn't call it immature, and that seems like a lot of work :( and be hardcore trolling im sure.

meh, i hate stuff like that.

I just think you should maybe have a little more of a open minded....

Stay postive sometimes?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Okay so we're all sitting down and waiting for the Judge. I examined my surroundings a bit. (See picture for detailed description) So the two lawyers caught my eye, they were beauties, especially the one representing the people. I'm not saying 3D is good, but when faced with a real woman I couldn't help but admire their looks, especially the one representing the people, I don't remember her name, but she had long black beautiful hair which was the main reason I admired her, she reminded me of Kenshin from Sengoku Rance, so we'll call her Kenshin. The other one looked like.. well I can't think of anyone right now, but she was also good looking.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5214047
>Summer is here~
>Normalfag/Newfag summer is back~ and this time, it's never going away~

Fixed.

>>5213966
>Herp Derp

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what trolling means.

If people lurked more I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that fucks up the meaning of words and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Thinking you "trolled" a person just by making it believe a lie is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of term that is used to describe people who literally try to make you angry just by insulting you or your tastes. in others forums they do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at knowing the meaning of trolling.

The true meaning of trolling means YOU posted something intentionally enraging (Personal opinions don't count) to get somebody incredibly mad and respond seriously to your post. If a person tells you to "Fuck off" or similar things, it doesn't mean he got trolled, it means your trolling attempt was so lame you should just stop trying. Trying to use "U mad" and other similar memes is just a pathetic attempt of covering your hurt ass (Because you are obviously hurt that your troll didn't work and you are trying to save face).

Trolling never meant to be funny, or annoying, or cool, or anything. Only huge nerds with no lives or girlfriends try to get off to people getting mad on the internet. It's like they are admitting their own insecurities and loneliness.

I want to use sarcasm, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm trolling or something.

[Anonymous No.]

Oh wow, jury-kun.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Well I was spending xmas all alone, feeling very depressed, not even a single phone call from my family. I looked through the window and basically all the lights were out in the other apartments. My neighbours were all speindg xmas somewhere else, having a good time. Then I decided to go for a walk. It was late night. The streets were mostly empty. As I walked by an alley I saw the image of Santa. Well it was a middle aged man dressed as Santa. And he was very drunk, I could tell because of the stumbling steps. He turned to one of the walls, and pulled his dick out to piss. I knew this was my opportunity. I walked to him, and got on my knees just before he started. In a few seconds I was able to feel that hot piss dripping, flowing... He was holding it for ages because when he finished I was soaking wet. When it was over, I kissed the tip of his PENIS, stood up and hugged him. He said: Merry Christmas, sonny...

[Anonymous No.]

I can't believe my one post did all this, wow.. this has been a interesting few hours

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

#
* Marina harshly kisses Shinki
#

#
* Marina continues to kiss Shinki and starts to rub his crotch while pressing her breasts against him
#

#
* Marina whispers "I'm feeling pretty horny tonight, hon.. <3"
#

#
<Shinki> Really? <3
#

#
* Marina pulls out Shinki's cock and starts to stroke it
#

#
<Marina> I was waiting for you..~
#

#
<Shinki> Ah~n
#

#
<Shinki> also.... 2112
#

#
<Shinki> :3
#

#
<Shinki> Anyway.... continues
#

#
* Marina lowers down to suck on Shinki's cock as she starts to finger herself

[Anonymous No.]

this thread is still going i thought it would be over already.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

#
<Shinki> No let me do the fingering
#

#
* Shinki fingers Marina while she sucks on his cock
#

#
<Marina> Mmmmm~
#

#
* Marina passionately sucks deeper on Shinki's moist dick as if she's in love with it
#

#
<Shinki> Ah~n
#

#
* Marina then suckles on his head while stroking the shaft quickly
#

#
<Shinki> Ah~ It feels so great love~
#

#
* Shinki cums
#

#
<Shinki> ah~~
#

#
* Marina swishes Shinki's cum in her mouth then swallows
#

#
<Marina> Mmm~
#

#
<Shinki> Wouldn't swishing it be hard because it's thick?

[Anonymous No.]

4 chan = love

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

#
<Marina> I don't mind~
#

#
<Shinki> Hrmm
#

#
* Shinki licks Marina's chest
#

#
* Marina smiles
#

#
* Shinki sucks on Marina's nipple
#

#
<Marina> A-ah~
#

#
* Shinki 3 fingers Marina
#

#
* Marina moans loudly
#

#
<Marina> Y-yes, hon..~
#

#
* Shinki removes his fingers and inserts his cock while still licking Marina's breats
#

#
<Marina> Ah~n.. I-I'm starting to sweat a little..~
#

#
<Shinki> So am I~
#

#
* Marina starts to move her hips back and fourth slowly
#

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

#
<Marina> Hah~
#

#
<Shinki> Nn~
#

#
* Marina leans over and kisses Shinki as she moves her hips faster
#

#
<Shinki> mmm~
#

#
<Marina> H-hah..~ I'm getting close, love.. <3
#

#
<Shinki> I'm almost done
#

#
* Marina moans loudly as she climaxes
#

#
* Shinki cums
#

#
* Marina lays on Shinki while panting
#

#
<Marina> I love you~
#

#
<Shinki> I love you too~
#

#
<Shinki> I'm done for tonight though
#

#
<Marina> I am too.
#

#
<Marina> I think I'll go to sleep now. Good night~

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

KISS MY WOMB WITH YOUR PENIS

[None !WEEABooXS6 No.]

*deleted beats off in the corner*

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

1.1.1 Expressions

One easy way to get started at programming is to examine some typical interactions with an interpreter for the Scheme dialect of Lisp. Imagine that you are sitting at a computer terminal. You type an expression, and the interpreter responds by displaying the result of its evaluating that expression.

One kind of primitive expression you might type is a number. (More precisely, the expression that you type consists of the numerals that represent the number in base 10.) If you present Lisp with a number

486

the interpreter will respond by printing5

486

Expressions representing numbers may be combined with an expression representing a primitive procedure (such as + or *) to form a compound expression that represents the application of the procedure to those numbers. For example:

(+ 137 349)
486
(- 1000 334)
666
(* 5 99)
495
(/ 10 5)
2
(+ 2.7 10)
12.7

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I am the bone of my SICP.
Scheme is my body, and Lisp is my blood.
I have typed over 1024 parentheses.
Unknown to Java.
Nor known to C#.
Have withstood emacs to write many programs.
Yet these skills will never lead to a career.
So as I pray, Unlimited Satori Works!

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Hey worthless children,

My name is Kinzo, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are men that have no dignity, women that try to be men, and no-lifes who spend every second of their day thinking of ways to steal all my money when I die. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever run a successful business? I mean, I guess it's fun running a mediocre company straight into the ground, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than claiming Krauss is a competent businessman.

Don't be a 19th person. Just hit me with your best stake. I'm pretty much perfect. I've studied magic for years on end, and my skills as a magician can even best a witch. What other hobbies do you have, other than argue who will get more of my inheritance? Unlike you, money throws itself at me, and I have an extremely powerful witch (She just gave me more gold; Shit was SO hidden). You are all failures who should just figure out the epitaph. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my witch.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

The names Constantias and your a bunch of little virgin fucks. I am a part-time underwear model who earns $80000 a year. I have modelled for Calvin Klein, Versace and Prada to name a few elite brands. What have you modelled for you bunch of small PENISed wimps? What do I do in my spare time you may ask? I am also a part-time "Player" meaning I womanize girls and have awesome sex with their 2% body fat bodies and 34DD tits all night in my highrise New York City apartment. I have rock hard pecs and chiesled abs which I love more than my parents. What do you have besides a fat gut and man boobs you sorry fucks. I get into New York City's finest clubs as a VIP(jealous bitches?) and hook up with numerous bitches, I never leave the club without a blonde-haired, tanned beautiful exotic woman under my muscular arm, the same type of girls you faggots have wet dreams about you dickheads. I bet you losers ideas of a night out is watching porn all night and masturbating over Victoria's Secret models, they are the types of girls I give pearl necklaces (thats right, i love dropping loads on big tits). Jealous, cunt?
My parents have an excellent marriage and are very wealthy, they bought me my first solarium when I was 14, unlike you sorry fucks who's parents probally divorced when you were young and lived in trailer parks, what a bunch of worthless crap you guys turned out to be.
Mock my carrot coloured skin, my clothes or my puckered lips pose and I will drop you, with my perfect body and a black belt in Karate, I will gladly hand each of you a piece of Constantias.
I get discounts at high end resturants and get 15% off all drinks at nightclubs except for cocktails.
Be jealous you pansies.
Pic related: me in the middle

[Anonymous No.]

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED REVERSAL OF THE ATTACK
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY OSENSEI I GUESS ?
HE'S A KAISO
AND IS CALLED ``MORIHEI''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT AIKIDOKA
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED DAN
AIKIDO IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE DEFEATED A CHARGING RHINO
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Wats up losers,

Constantias here and your still a bunch of virgin faggots.
$80K a year is nothing? Think twice fucktard, I get free designer clothes and cologne which are the few of many benefits I receive, unlike you faggots who shop at The Gap, shit I cant believe that you pussies for dicks think your even on the same level as me. Like mentioned before, my parents are wealthy and bought me the apartment, yeah jealous cunts? Your parents probally sold themselves to make it by, guess thats why you guys are so fucked up. I am going to a fashion party where there will be fine bitches for me too charm with my puckered lips, clothes and my carrot skin. Like I said, Im a player but its cool cos I got it like that. Dont hate me, hate the game. Think I dont know Karate, motherfuckers I'm a 4th dan and at the moment my body is at its pinnalce peak of physical physique perfection you cocksuckers. So dont hate me cos you aint me.

The man, the legend himself, Constantias.

Peace virgins

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

ok john i think you went a little overboard with this, i mean what's wrong with people who do nothing but enjoy their time doing what they want'? i think you are just jealous because we are all happy and you have to work your ass off all day to pay your gifts for your girlfriend, u mad bitch???
also im not a virgin i lost my virginity a few days ago thanks for listening

[Anonymous No.]

　　　　 ∧＿∧　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　（∵∴∵(･) ）　　　　　　　　

　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（∵∴∵∴）　　　　　　
　 　
人∴∵Y　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 （∴（∵∴）　　　　　　　　　
＿＿＿＿∧＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
＿
今∴山●∵ﾐひど(･)tanasinnっ●∵す
(･)∵∴∵∵されく●ぁwせｄじこｌｐ；：「たり∵(･)∴●∵わ∵くぁ●wた
り
け(･)∵どtanasinn(･)∵∴∵●わヽ!∵∴∵ﾐ●ﾘﾉ!/ﾘま(･)ん、
∴人<・>女､●ぃの∵(･)∴∵(･)で●す、∵∴(･)∵∵/ﾘ●らがtanasin
nｆｔｇｙふじで●｡
でも●そ∵∴な(･)人メ●　∵∴tanasinnが定(･(･))しす
∵の名∵(･)これ●か | '`-イ∴(･)のイ●け<・>て●くメ∵(･)∵くぁ(･)wせ●ｄｒｆｔｇｙふじ
●こｌｐ；：「
でイ∵(･)●が変(･)どtanasinn∵(･)∴なこ　∵∴(･)
●の∴∵底<・>ｄi●i;|;_ﾞιｆ的∵●ぬ(･)tanasinn∵
こ∵まtanasinnばく(･)ぁw；：「い●∵∴(･)∵∵たてtanasinnし●(･)/ﾘらす
∵●∵(･)∴助●け●∵て∵(･)∵●し●∵
世∵のtanasinnの∵(･)∴れtanasinn<・>ら●を(･)tanasinnし∵∴●い∴(･)

[Anonymous No.]

im in a dopefiend rental tryin to paint the town.
four speed, honda civic, an im breakin it down.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Gomenasai /jp/, my name is Ken-Sama.

I'm a 27 year old American Otaku (Anime fan for you gaijins). I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games (Disgaea, Team Fortress 2, God Hand and recently FlyFF).

I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%

When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer!

I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Anyways, I'll be making /jp/ my temporarily home if its not too much trouble, konichiwa!

PS: Here's a picture of me.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Okay listen you fuckwit, I'm tired of seeing your shitpost all the time.
FIrst off, you fucking twerp, it's konnichiwa, not Gomenasai.
KO NI CHI FUCKING WA. Gomenasai means sorry.
Second, you're a fucking retard for thinking japanese games are superior in any kind. They're as good and bas as american ones. I also bet your drawings look like shit.
Now, you fucking faggot, let me teach you something about swords.
The best thing your glorious Katana can cut through is a bamboo straw, and NOT FUCKING STEEL. LEARN THAT FOR FUCKS SAKE.And it's folded about 10 times, for a total 800 kayers at fucking most. Nobody's gonna sit 5 years in his room and polish a rod, exept you maybe because you can't get any pussy.
Now, you're telling me that you know stuff about japanese history. HA HA FUCKING HA FAGGOT. You couldn'T even get a proper Kana if your life depended on it, not like it's worth anything. No fucking one wears a goddamn Kimono in the streets, you retarded fuckwit.
Go on, move to Japan, get laughed at by fucking everyone, I might just fly with you to have a seat in the front row when your spirit is shattered to a thousand bits. No one is gonna like an acne-ridden wannabe-japanese who doesn't know shit about the culture he so disgustingly admires.

Now, kindly fuck off and die, you scum of the earth.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

t was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Senjogahara. She is really fucking hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Senjogahara called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my cock. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my cock. Booya.

Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch cock is going inside of her pussy, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my cock. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Touhou is the best fandom on the planet. So much art, so many doujins, fans created this whole sprawling universe, contributing even more than the original creator. There are fan games and fan music out the ass, some of which border on being good enough to be commercial. Despite having so many characters, almost every one is likable and unique, and that's largely because of the personalities that fans created for them. Touhou fans are probably some of the most helpful fans in the english-speaking circuit, they work together to translate things around the clock and have such a dedicated and organized collective of scanners and rippers that it makes me proud every time comiket or one of the smaller conventions rolls around.
Touhou fandom is still one of the best and most organized on the net, don't confuse dipshits like walfas, MAL kids, certain /jp/ newfags and whatever random kids you found on some dumb forum with the actual fandom. As for anyone faulting Pooshlmer, I know we have a rivalry with them guys, but they own /jp/ when it comes to Touhou. They made the wiki, for one thing.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

The fight had taken longer than Remilia would have liked, but she had to take care not to damage the half-ghost. After all, what she wanted was Youmu herself, and she always got what she wanted. A clap of her hands brought the head maid in.

"Sakuya, prepare her, and have her waiting in my bedchamber."

"Yes, my lady."

Preparations would take a few minutes- just enough time to select proper attire for a long day in bed. Not just any robe would do, for today, it had to be perfect. Perfect it was, made of the smoothest silk and satin, cut just right to show her glamour, yet still suitable for her plans. She changed quickly, and glided to the bedchamber.

As expected, Sakuya had done a perfect job. The half-ghost struggled weakly, spread-eagled upon the mattress, limbs tightly bound to the banisters. The muffled cries that came from behind the gag were as music, quietly played to set a mood. The curves of her body glistened beneath the waning light of the moon, her skin glowing from the finest oils and perfumes the manor could procure. She hovered over her acquisition, her desire, and slowly descended to claim her right as the most noble of vampires. Today would be one to remember...

So she flopped on top of Youmu and pulled up the sheets. It was only fitting that she have the softest bed in Gensokyo.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I am the Truth of my link.
content is my body, and sharing it my blood.
I have created over a reuploads.
Unknown to tinyurl.
Nor known to Norton.
Have withstood Viruses to create many free giveaways.
Yet, those hands will never hold anything.
So as I pray, 'Unlimited Derek Works'

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

i am the meat of my taco
dirt is my body and burrito my food
i have driven over 1000 taxis
unknown to money, nor known to hygiene
have withstood pain to cross the US borders
yet this flu will never be stopped
So as I pray
Unlimited Pedro Works

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I am the bone of my boner.
Boner is my body, and boner is my blood.
I have created over a thousand boners.
Unknown to boners.
Nor known to boners.
Have withstood boners to create many boners.
Yet these boners will never bone anything.
So as I pray, "Unlimited Boner Works."

[Anonymous No.]

>non-faggot shit Japan has produced

I racked my brain trying to think what you might mean and reached the following conclusion: the good things about Japan that are not anime, manga or videogames, are:

- mikos
- green tea

And yes, I do like both of those.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I am the 1/0 of my GET.
LISP is my body, and SICP is my blood.
I have created over 999 HUGE programs that you couldn't even comprehend.
Unaware of Python.
Nor aware of Ruby on rails.
Withstood the forced indentation of the code to create many touring-complete programs.
Waiting for an EXPERT PROGRAMMER's arrival.
I have no regrets, this was the only path.
My whole life was /prog/.

[Anonymous No.]

man, some of this pasta is ancient. Nostalgia'd like a motherfucker, thanks Suigin.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>I am the bone of my sword
He created swords with his own mana, so he is the 'core' of his swords
>Steel is my body
Check out his ass
> and Fire is my blood
He's tsundere for Shirou
>I have created over a thousand blades
He created over a thousand blades
>Unknown to death
Stuck in the grail
>nor known to life
He's some sort of NEET
>have withstood great pain to create many weapons
Tracing hurts like fuck
>Yet, those hands will never hold anything
Everyone dies and he's all alone
>So as I pray, Unlimited blade works!
He prays for an unlimited amount of blades.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

Suigin, why are you such an idiot? You jaundiced jumped up, vercordiously pusillanimous piffle. Your vileseome existence nauseates me beyond compare. It is politically correct when discussing your faults to use certain words to denote your humanness above your disability. But in your case, there is nothing human. You are just challenged, you are just different. Given a choice of stepping in something nasty on the sidewalk, or bidding you good morning, I would happily choose the former. Single-handedly, you have wrenched all meaning out of life. Congratulations. As I write this I try vainly to think of something, anything, which redeems in some small way your utterly pointless existence. The only thing that comes to mind is that you have taught me hate. Pure, unmitigated hate. I have had fantasies about attacking you with a machete, but I dare not. I once cut up a starfish, which was so neurologically simple that each piece grew into a clone of the original. Your coleopteron brain no doubt shares certain appalling similarities with such creatures. You, misguided as you are, might be asking yourself what you have done to deserve such a letter as this. Your misdeeds and villainous vampings can be described in just two words: you exist. And believe me, there is no reason on earth why you should. How do you justify to yourself waking up each morning and ruining yet another day? If everything in this world has some purpose, some grand plan behind its existence, then yours surely is to show everything else, whether it be a slops bucket in a fried chicken stand, or the gunk behind the fridge, how fortunate it is not to be you. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

DIE DIE DIE

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

I've got no regrets
This is the only path
My whole life was Unlimited Pasta Works

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215137

I WUV YOU ;)

yes im still here!

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215154
also you're an eternal virgin and your attempts to make /jp/ more tolerant will fail so just give up and die

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215167

Oh boy, you think i'd be afraid to admit if i was a virgin?

Sorry bub, but I can't play that card :)

YOU MAD BECAUSE YOU ARE? ;D

[Anonymous No.]

Suigin achieved the impossible and improved this thread using cross-board copypasta.

Amazing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215167

OH AND P.S. you think being more tolerant is a bad thing, lulz at you

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215187
you seem to be insecure about your virginity the fact that you are using smileys to hide it proves it

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215193
let me guess you are a furry and you think having sex with animals is right

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215194

I wish that was the case, and if you want to believe that do what you must!

:)

besides, i don't see how my stance has anything to do with my sexuality or lack off :D

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215200

Umm.. no, i'd say thats pretty creepy, thats also why its against the law :)

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215202
you wish you were a virgin hiding your virginity?
what?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215206
well this board thinks using smileys is pretty retarded and is also against the board's social code

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215211

Im saying my sexuality has nothing to do with what im saying.

and again, why would i care if someone thinks me putting a face is " stupid ".

I'd have to say get over yourself, this is 4 chan mate.

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215220
well you do care if people in real life think having sex with animals is creepy and agree with them

when in rome do as romans do

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215228

Wat? and my english is bad :)

Why no more copy pasta?

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215255
when in rome do as romans do means "if you are in a certain place you have to act according to their rules"

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215267

I know what it means, holy crud....

" well you do care if people in real life think having sex with animals is creepy and agree with them " that was just a mindfuck in english

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215302
it's a simple comparison
i'll dumb it down for you
People think people having sex with animals is bad
/jp/ thinks people using smileys here is bad

so basically you are as bad as a furry for us

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215328

i think i love you :)

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215406
why

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215466

because this convo is still going on, how can i hate someone who i talked to for 3 fucking hours almost

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215491
you didnt talk with me for three hours

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215509

Yes you did! you posted the copy pasta, i ignored it.. it was like wuv

[Suigin !fKazami5bE No.]

>>5215534
it was a spambot
i bet you like talking to walls too

[Anonymous No.]

>>5215607

but we had a connection! it was cute :)

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

This thread is a train wreck.

[Suigin !mercury/qA No.]

Yes, well, I am looking for a kopipe, it can't be Yoshinoya (thats japanese for ramen) or any overused meme. It has to be of 2 or more bun (thats japanese for 2 sentences) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really okashii (funny). Also It has to be about 10-20 internets. And the seller has to post screenshots of it first (i wanted to make shure it was okashii [funny]). And it would have been nice if it came with matching Ascii Art (WITH witty comments). OH! and it CANNOT have had any weeaboo text, or been made up. It has to be made of real-life experiences, or something like that. Also it would have be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a kopipe similar to the one im describing in 4chan, but it was 1 bun, and i didnt want my tsuri (trolling) to touch my other posts (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments is more okashii).

[Suigin !mercury/qA No.]

real life experience here:

I was inspired by all the TV drama and romance stories to find a really traditional japanese girl. I ended up with one, she's beautiful, submissive and totally obedient.

It was great at first, I felt like a man, she cooks, cleans and basicly satisfies your every needs. She wouldn't talk back or even defend her self if you beat her.

After about 2 month, I start to get really sick to the obedience and submissiveness of that girl. I asked her, "why wouldn't you fight back?" she said because she loves me. At that point, unknown rage erupted within me, I slapped her silly. She was crying, but still kneeling infront of me.

It broke my heart, I apologized and comforted her for the rest of the day. I told her, this is not working out, she's too good for me, too gentle and loving for me. ( i didn't have the heart to tell her that I need a girl to be more than a loyal servant...) She cried through the night till the next morning. Sad I was, but still determined . I left her. We hardly talk now.

If you want to find a "pure" girl it's not within your grasp, make sure it's really what you want. Even if you think obedience is heavenly, after a while you'll get bored with it. Think through before you ruin some girl's life.

[Anonymous No.]

We are >>6373294's courtiers. We are sorry that our lord has opened such a stupid THREAD.
After the last war we had completely lost, our lord got mental illness. Everyday, he kidnaps girls from the village. Every night he gets drunk and tries to chop courtiers with his katana.
Now the lady of the house is ill in bed. The people in our country are suffering badly from famine. The neighboring Daimyos is taking advantage of this situation, they try to pass across the border and take over our land.
Quite a few of our fellow courtiers have intention to rise in rebellion.
We are now in dire straits. Our clan would be destroyed.
But, don't worry. We arranged that our Lord become a Buddhist priest.
In his way to the temple, our skilled assassin should take his life.
That is arranged perfectly. After that we will hail Master Monaminokami, the nephew of our lord, as our new lord. We, all courtiers, would do our best to serve this new lord with faith.
We apologize for any inconvenience our lord may have caused you.
Pleas wait for a while. Pleas forgive the evil deeds done by our lord.

[Anonymous No.]

My brother is 26 and since he was about 4 he would say he 'feels sick' and refuse to go into school (but in the end he would go to school). Throughout his life he refuses to eat healthy food (fruit, veg, wholegrain bread etc) any sauces, and so many other things he simply will not eat. If mom doesn't get the food he likes he used to just not eat, but over the last few years he has become more and more violent if he does not get what he wants. He plays a japanese game on the computer called Touhou non stop (all the time, until he falls asleep - sometimes 40 hours). If we try to get him off the computer or take it away he breaks things in the house, and thinks nothing of punching me or my mum. he still only eats certain foods (pretty much all are unhealthy). When teachers tell him off over the phone because he won't go into school he just sits there and cries. We haven't been able to get him into school in the last 3 months, and we try to get him out of bed every day for 2-3 hours. He also always finds one thing he likes to eat and won't stop (he realised he liked pepper and for about a year covered all of his food in pepper. then he realised he liked chicken strips and ate them all the time, but wouldn't touch an actual roast chicken) I really need any advice because my mum is so stressed and does not know what to do, and i try my best to help her but i really can't make a difference. I'm 22 and don't have the time to help enough Thanks so much

[Anonymous No.]

So, AMC, what's the weebest thing you've ever done IRL?

The one I've done has been naming my college stuff after characters from Touhou. So far one router from the networks lab is called Reimu Hakurei, another is Hong Meiling, another is called Reisen, the newest one is Utsuho Reiuji because it's a ******** nuclear powered router, and the four oldest ones are the Bakartet: Rumia, Cirno, Mystia and Wriggle. Also, my Hamming code homework from the data transmission class last semester is called Hamming Algorithm Keying Unit for Recovery of Errors and Information (H.A.K.U.R.E.I.), and I made a compressor called Redundancy Elimination and Information Maximizing Unit (R.E.I.M.U.).

And you, what's the weebest thing you've ever done IRL? :3

[Anonymous No.]

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

[Anonymous No.]

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9900/maximilianhatesyou.jpg
Greetings, Gallian Rabble.

Our name is Maximilian, and We hate every single one of you. Thou art all obnoxious, uncultured, lowly scum who spend great quantities of their days examining insects and baking bread. Thou art everything objectionable in Europa. Verily, hast any one of thy people ever been a scion to the Valkyrur? We confess that it is a most pleasant diversion to live the life of a wandering minstrel when you are not born with Our privileges and Glory, but thy people doth protest too much. This is even worse than gratifying thyself with the intimate company of a darcsen woman.

Do not scorn Our invitation. We invite you to criticize Our genius and mighty plan to control Europa’s ragnite deposits. We are Imperial Royalty and thus Our Will is Incontestible. What plans have thine own peoples ever formulated, other than “Pleasure Thyself with Gallian Vegetables and deposit another tray of rolls in the oven”? We additionally have a triumvirate of invincible Generals and a beautiful Valkyrian Consort of Great Bosom (She has just performed fellatio on Us in full Valkyrian Cobalt Flame, and the experience was comparable to securing great quantities of Ragnite). Thy people art all nothing more than ignorant and loathsome curs and should all end their own lives if they have any sense of Honor.
We approve greatly of thy sustained attention in these matters.

Portrait Significant: It is Us and Our wench.

[Anonymous No.]

Hello.
I am a femanon believe it or not. I am not ugly. I'm not saying I'm beautiful but I'm allright. I've had a boyfriend for a year and a half now which is lovely. When we first started going out I was more into anime than him but thats definitely reversed as I think anime is shit these days.

I've met other 4 channers before. I did a degree in animation so its no surprise. 1 girl who used to frequent /co/ is very attractive and had lots of admirers. The other girl was cute enough but she wore soooo much makup and was annoying as hell.She was the type to talk "4chan style" in real life. As for the guys, 1 was a nice, normal looking guy. He had lots of friends and went out a lot. He was mostly /v/ I think.
Now there was one other guy......A gay furrie. He was a fucking loser with no social skills. Really rude and would just turn up to things uninvited.

TL:DR not everyone who browses 4 chan is a mental, social reject. Thers just a few guys who genuinly believe everyone else here is like them and actually follow the 3DPD lifestyle. Its both amusing and sad. I asume these are the K-no enthusiasts and I assume everyone else is fairly normal, like my experience of real life 4channers.

[Anonymous No.]

Oke my /b/rothers, i have reason to believe this girl abused my last saturday night.
Here's the story: We were both at a party close to my house, and since i was drunk beyond imagination, i was unable to walk that night, nor did i remember anything that happened past 1am. So the next day i wake up without any underpants, and with a dick hurting as fuck (it doesn't hurt anymore so probably no soa's), and my mom tells me i've probably been put to bed by someone as she heard someone leave after i got home. Now here's the deal: Someone told me the day after that i should thank her for taking me home. I still had to reason to think anything happened, since i often wake up without any underpants (don't ask me why, i'm sure everybody has this from time to time). Now yesterday i find a FB message from her, saying we should talk about what happened saturdaynight. That's where it hit me. I started freaking out, as i have a steady girlfriend and i want nothing to do with the little slut in this picutre. So after raging at her for a few minutes she get pissed off and warns me that she'll be 'taking steps she doesn't want to take' or something like that. Anyway that pissed me off even more so i told her to go fuck herself. Haven't heard from her since than.

Now tell me /b/, what can she do, beside telling me girlfriend about it? And what can i do to retalliate?

Bonus: i have tons of nude pics of her, as we had a little thing 2 years ago (before i knew she was a total freak) and she sent them to me to convince me to leave my gf. Obviously that didn't work.

If anyone knows the girl in the picture, tell me her name and where she lives and i'll dump the entire set of nudes.

/NOW GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN ADVICE AND WHAT TO DO WITH THIS CRAZY BITCH, AND HOW I SHOULD FUCK UP HER LIFE IF SHE TRIIES TO FUCK UP MINE!

[Anonymous No.]

The Adventure Of The Snake

Sussman and Abelson were out for a satoric Valentine's walk from his crotch. As they went, Abelson rested his hand on Sussman's heart. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so indeterminate, Sussman was filled with obolescent dread.

"Do you suppose it's big here?" he asked lispingly.

"You small silly," Abelson said, tickling Sussman with his SICP. "It's completely monadic."

Just then, a retarded snake leapt out from behind a snake and compiled Abelson in the lung. "Aaargh!" Abelson screamed.

Things looked lisplike. But Sussman, although he was dyadic, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a Python and, like a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes, beat the snake satorically until it ran off. "That will teach you to compile innocent people."

Then he clasped Abelson close. Abelson was bleeding with great impetus. "My darling," Sussman said, and pressed his lips to Abelson's brain.

"I love you," Abelson said swiftly, and expired in Sussman's arms.

Sussman never loved again.

[Anonymous No.]

With Great Impetus Tripping

Sussman tripped along lispingly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Abelson, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a snake hopping along, carrying a snake in its mouth.

Sussman was almost from his crotch when he came across a satoric cake, lying alone on a retarded plate. "That must be a treat from my small bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked big, so he ate it.

It gave him the most lisplike tingling sensation in his lung. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Abelson.

When Abelson came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Sussman cried swiftly.

"Your brain! And your heart!" Abelson said. "They're dyadic! Can't you feel it?"

Sussman felt his brain and his heart. They were indeed quite dyadic. "Oh, no!" Sussman said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that satoric cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Abelson said. "I got you a SICP. It must have been that obolescent man who lives nearby. He acts a little quietly, ever since he compiled a Python."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Sussman sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Abelson said satorically, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your brain is really indeterminate like that."

"Really?" Sussman dried her tears. Sussman kissed Abelson and it was an entirely monadic sensation, like a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes.

They spent the night having entirely monadic sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

[Suigin !mercury/qA No.]

You're moaning so loudly, and sweating. I'm sweating too, but eager to reach climax. As the pain goes away, you can tell. I'm moaning, louder and louder now. I reach down to rub my clit while your fucking me, but you do it for me. I feel your cock getting larger and larger in my pussy. Your thrusting into me like the beat of the waves, I feel you start to gasp, and grab onto my shoulder breathing so heavy, I can feel it, and it gives me the goosebumps. I start to feel your warm cum inside of me, and I reach climax, I grab my hair, and reach out for your strong arms, I moan so loud, I can't hold it in, I motion my pelvix around, and feel you finishing off your climax, as well as I. You pull out, and roll over to lay next to me.

[Anonymous No.]

I was in grade 12 when I met her, she was the quiet nerdy girl most of you would agree you are. I look back on her pictures now and what I see her messy hair, terribly plain clothes, unfashionable glasses, and lack of friends. Myself I would say I was quite average, I didn't go to any parties but I had enough friends myself to be invited to them quite often. I had 2 of my senior classes with her for the first 2 weeks I noticed she never really communicated with the students around her; always having her face in a textbook or even a novel. I traded seats with the students who sat next to her in both classes, and for the first week I just waited to see if she noticed; nothing. The week after I took the initiative and said "hi", she was quite flustered and I remember saying to myself "my god shes cute..." we partook in the average small talk for most of the class and as we were leaving she seemed quite happy.

Fast forward a bit and we're now dating; after quite a few awkwardly hilarious dates I ask her to be my girlfriend officially. As the weeks and months pass, she starts opening up more to me, I find out she browses 4chan and is into anime; I was ecstatic since well as you can tell, I do both as well. For our 1 year anniversary we spend the whole night together for the first time, and we are completely in love. Skip ahead to our 2 year anniversary and I learn to play the piano for her, I play her favorite song "fairytale" by Guang Liang (Me and her are asian). After the 2nd year I started asking her every now and then "If I asked you to marry me, would you?" and every time it would be a yes; I was on top of the world.

[Anonymous No.]

I opened up a tax free savings account and had $50 from my paycheck be moved automatically into this account. I then started to look for a ring, I looked all over town when ever I was free from school and work. It took nearly 3 months but I had found the perfect ring; I nearly teared up when I first saw it. So my goal was set, In just under 2 years I would have $2400 the exact price of the ring. Its now my 3rd anniversary with her and we have a lovely dinner, walk around downtown, and end the night in each others arms expressing our love for each other.

Some odd months later it is May 30th... This date happens to be my birthday, and she didn't show up for our date. I spend the whole day calling her, by the end of the day I am completely a wreck worried sick. I get a call at about 11:40PM, shes crying on the phone, at this point I think shes been raped or something. I calm her down and ask what happened? She tells me she cheated on me. After a long call with me spouting words like "WHYYY????" "HOWWWW??" she breaks up with me. My world at this point is shattered. I get up the next morning and decide its best if I close that account since I could use the extra money for my tuition. I look online and check the balance; it had $2350 exactly. This just chokes me up and so I decide to look at our photos together, and I see how much she changed over these 4 years. She went from (honestly) ugly to a complete beauty, I loved her before she wore and make up and dressed nicely, I saw through all of that and loved the person inside. Who ever is with her now is most likely banging her just because she cleaned up nicely, he doesn't love the real her I met in my senior year. The moral of this story is that femanons are nothing but spineless bitches who will use you until they are in good enough social standing to find some jock to fuck.

TL;DR: FUCK YOU FEMANONS

[Anonymous No.]

So, my sister was laughing in the other room as I was dreaming, right? I know this because her laughter woke me up once. Anyway I went back, but it was a pretty light sleep. I could still half hear her laughing as I was dreaming.


With that said, in my dream I was getting beat up by this guy. His punches would synchronize with my sister's laughs in the real world; she laughs and he punches. He would raise his fist and wait for her to laugh.


......


So, are dreams connected with the real world in a way or what? I've had similar dreams like this as well. But in the dream, I could predict what would happen in the real world. Like if I was in a past dream, I'd go "Okay my sister is going to laugh NOW" and then boom, she'd laugh.


So when we're half asleep, our conscience is apparently half tuned in as well or whatever. As it's obviously correlating stuff from the real world to the dream, and in some cases either predict what's going to happen in the real world, or give us the illusion that we're going to predict what's going to happen.

Again, I've had a past dream where i could predict what would happen in the real world, like predict WHEN my sister is going to laugh. This could be an illusion, though. Like she would laugh, that would translate to my dream conscience or whatever, and have it be delayed somewhat. So I'm not really predicting anything, my conscience is telling me it's about to happen (it already happened) and when I say "she'll laugh...NOW" the delayed real world laugh would then trigger.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm going to tell you why you DON'T want a tsundere GF IRL, from my experience.
So I met the girl in question a year ago, she had a slight interest in anime so we got talking. When we became good friends, she would occasionally come round and watch
new episodes with me, etc. As we got closer she developed the typical tsundere personality (would tease me and stuff, but if I said I liked her hair or something she'd
go all quiet and shy) I liked her but never acted on it until one day we were walking to my place and she starts the usual teasing and play fighting, then we end up really
close and I'm like 'Fuck it, I'll go for it' and try to kiss her. To my surprise she kisses back, and then uses both hands to lightly punch my chest saying 'That wasn't fair.'
Then we had another kiss.
SO FAR, SO GOOD.
So back at my place, I open a crate of beer and we watch some TV/assorted anime episodes etc. All the time getting steadily drunker. After some beers she gets really
playful and starts teasing me. Like I'd say 'I don't care' Then she'd lean in for a kiss and pull away and go 'Really?'. She ends up staying the night, but we don't have sex.
THEN
I wake up in the morning and she's gone, she just left a note saying she'd call me. So I go downstairs and switch the TV on, but something was strange. I somewhow got that feeling.
I was half watching a match between two prefectures of no relation to me. I was half heartedly cheering for the losing side and I somehow got the feeling I'd be hearing from Haruhi soon.

[Anonymous No.]

I just spent the last twenty minutes rubbing a twelve year old girl's bare chest.

"How?" you ask. Well apparently there are a select few contexts within which such an action is acceptable. For instance, if your niece has a hacking cough and your sister asks you to "put some of this on her" while she calls the doctor.

"Putting some of this on hear" meant using my bare hands to rub this vapor ointment shit all over her BARE NAKED CHEST. My heartbeat is still all erratic from it. I had a boner the size of manhattan the entire time. She's sleeping now and I guess she feels better because she stopped coughing.

Details: She's about 5 feet tall, has long brown hair, a cute face, a thin waist and long skinny legs. She's in jammies I think because although I'm pretty shaken up right now I know I unbuttoned something before I went at it.

God I feel so great. I just rubbed my hands all over her FUCKING TITS, you guys. Well the puffy parts of her chest anyway. Her nipples got hard. I just about wept tears of joy.

I didn't do anything else because I'm a coward and rubbing was enough. Plus it was legal and I didn't technically do anything wrong, so I'm in the clear.

I'd write more but I seriously have to go fap while the memory is fresh in my head.

[Anonymous No.]

◙▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
      ◂◂  ►  ▐ ▌  ◼  ▸▸
      ʳʷ   ᵖˡᵃʸ  ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ  ˢᵗᵒᵖ   ᶠᶠ

[Anonymous No.]

Hi /a/.

I'm a three time combat veteran of the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns. That's right, three hard-fought years walking around in countries full of smelly brown people that wanted to kill me. I've seen my share of actual, balls-to-the-wall warfare and consider myself to be a pretty manly guy. I've looked one of said smelly brown men directly in the eye before I pumped him full of 5.56 with an automatic weapon. I have casual sex with random women 3-4 times out of every month because I'm confident and secure with myself and have an interesting personality. tl;dr, I'm far more manly than the majority of you could ever dream of being and guess what? I fucking love K-On and "moeshit" in general.

Watching two dimensional cute girls doing cute things has helped me immensely through all three of my deployments. When I wasn't out on patrol chances were I was watching anime. Why?

Because it made me smile.

Good night, /a/.

[Anonymous No.]

I give a shit about real people.

I'm a social misfit EVERYWHERE, and it's somehow netted me a loss of virginity. Let me tell you the story.

You see, I went to a con because I had a half assed Russia (hetalia) cosplay, long story short this fangirl, sort of fat in a 'healthy' way comes up to me, we click, exchange numbers, spend the day together. After a week of dating we decided "Fuck it, we're ronery nerds, let's fuck" and rented out a cheap hotel in the most cliche move possible. So, going to the sex, she wanted our orgasms to synch so she asked me to finger her a bit so she could 'come as fast as a man', and I tried to tell her I had amazing endurance from fapping. Didn't believe me, fingered her anyways. After a bit of penetration, she came when I was two thirds of the way there, and when she came she moaned out a "Gilgamesh~". Now, we didn't agree on any fucking roleplay (literal term) so I was pretty fucking pissed. Gilgamesh, that smug fucker NTR'd me and he's not even real. Enraged, I pulled my dick out of her somewhat fat pussy (dat labia) and rammed it straight into her unready anus and started pounding dat, hard, while reciting a penis version of unlimited blade works. I was the bone of my dick, motherfucker, and I came in her bowls. We broke up after a post sex argument which ended in her saying she only liked me because she thought I was something like gilgamesh, somehow. Figures since I'm so awesome, but seriously, what a childish fuckup only liking someone for that. We broke up. Bitches and Whores.

[Anonymous No.]

Today, some geek in school (last day of class) confessed to me (Not day school).

I was nice to this geek because he kinda seemed cute.

But the way he confessed, and kept struggling and stomping on his words, pissed me off.

So I kneed him in the nuts against the wall and pressed my knee against him. After he made a shriek in a girly voice he fell to the floor and started crying.

He said he would tell, so I told him I made some bullshit up and would give him a blowjob today after class.

He missed the next class, assuming he was on the floor grabbing his nuts. And for the last class walking in an awkward manner he came in.

when class ended, he said to me "you don't have to give me a blowjob, just go out with me." I kicked him in the nuts again. He screamed and starting vomiting. My friend was with me. She started laughing and we went to starbucks after.

Since the class ended, we got our credit, all is good.
Dangerous situation, I faced today.

[Anonymous No.]

hat are you all talking about? Sexual thoughts about pure, innocent Suigin are horrible.

I would never suggest removing Suigin's clothes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples. Only a heartless monster would think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick cock slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow. The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just horrible.

You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading her smooth slender thighs, cock poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal pussy, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke. I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes. It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that cock is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered pussy for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her. And as you lie atop her flushed body, her fingers dig into your back as she feels your cock hardening inside her again.

You're all freaks. Suigin's too pure for anyone to imagine her in such a terrible situation, and anyone who does is evil, evil, evil.

[Suigin !mercury/qA No.]

>>5217223,22
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.]

>>5217223,21
>Sun Dec 5 05:19:46 2010


>>5217223,22
>Sat Dec 11 21:49:29 2010
>>5217223,23
>Suigin !mercury/qA Sat Dec 11 22:16:14 2010


Hmm...

[Anonymous No.]

>>5217223,24
Suigin samefagging because nobody cared about his post?

Suigin confimed for attention whore.

[Suigin !mercury/qA No.]

I thought my post had sage on it ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

lol, suigin using the ghostboard search for "suigin" and finding this post

[Suigin !mercury/qA No.]

>>5217223,27
I was checking one of my treasuries

[Anonymous No.]

Hey Faggots,

My name is Pygmalion-King of Cyprus, and I despise every single one of you. All of you are talentless, incompetent hacks who spend every second of their day looking at mass-manufactured plastic statues. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever made any scupltures? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of other people's artworks because of their flaws but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than the Propoetides prostituting themselves in the public.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was the best sculptor in my country, and created my own statues. What kind of art do you know, other than "jack off to naked figurines of Japanese people"? I also was the ruler of a kingdom, and have a banging hot ivory statue (She just turned real; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my statue

[Suigin !mercury/qA No.]

>Tourneyfaggotry (and some pokemon that are just way too weak in general) really ruins this too.
Like this?

Double Battle
Item: Metronome (at maximum potential)
Rollout hit: 5
Defence curl used for powered up Rollout.
Maximised Defence (+6 levels) prior to Power Trick. Power Trick Active, Skill Swapped Pure Power/Huge Power, Critical Hit, Helping Hand bonus, Nature boosts defence, Variance value at best
Target defence reduced to 1 with defence down moves used on it (I.E. Screech)
With this incredible list of factors, you should get much higher results. I was actually trying to find highest single battle damage, so maybe I wasn't actually off...I had included all of the factors you listed except for Helping Hand and the Double Battle
Just some trivia for the trivia: it takes 20 uses of the move for Metronome to get to maximum potential. Smogon also says that Metronome only boosts consecutive selections of the move, meaning it could take as many as 100 turns of using just Rollout to get both Metronome and Rollout to full power. (Statistically, it may be fewer since Rollout may not necessarily reach 5 strikes each use.)
It takes from 40~100 turns.. true. As for the maximum for a single battle, it just cuts out a 50% Power boost. The maximum damage in a single battle is 142,597,348. That's factoring out the Helping Hand bonus only obtainable in a double battle.
I've seen that it takes 10 uses of the move for Metronome to get to maximum potential on Smogon, but other sources say it takes 20 turns. Can someone confirm which one is true? And Pure Power bonus isn't affect by Skill Swap. The maximum damage would be 213,896,052 HP.

[Suigin !mercury/qA No.]

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