[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/jp/ - Otaku Culture


View post   

File: 97 KB, 400x400, MomijiBroccoli.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5203857 No.5203857 [Reply] [Original]

Sup, /jp/. Was fapping just a few minutes ago when I heard a thumping noise, something that sounded sort of like a heartbeat. Now, I was in the process of fapping and my pants is still down, but I walk to my parents room, and I hear the eerie noise grow louder. Then, I put my ear next to the door and

My parents are having sex. I can hear my mom moaning and my dad pumping her.Then I came, but then I felt dirty as fuck. GODDAMNIT, /jp/.

>> No.5203862
File: 9 KB, 200x200, 1241382596638.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5203862

Fascinating.

>> No.5203861

Take this crap to /r9k/.

>> No.5203868
File: 68 KB, 344x255, 1274087478260.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5203868

Reported tor underage.

>> No.5203865

how old are you

>> No.5203870
File: 1.04 MB, 260x146, OHMYGODWHATISTHAT.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5203870

>>5203861

Sorry, it's just that /jp/ loves incest and i thought it was relevant to your interests.

>> No.5203871

stop bumping it you moron

>> No.5203889
File: 17 KB, 405x289, facepalm7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5203889

>process of fapping and my pants is still down, but I walk to my parents room

>> No.5203893

What are you 12?

On a side note, the only downside of living in your parents basement is you can hear obvious things. Little annoying I can't not have my head phones in sometimes.

With that said, I never got why idiots get so disgusted with it, they're humans too, its where you came from.

>> No.5203904

The other day I ate a bunch of food and decided to masturbate. Bad idea. Being tired from the food and the loss of blood going to my penis made the act unpleasant. I felt like I was going to pass out, and my chest area felt odd. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and when I came I almost really fainted. Everything became blurry and everything I heard through my right ear was overpowered by a ringing noise. My eyesight came back nearly instantly, but the ringing in my ear continued for about 15 minutes. It scared me. I'm never going to masturbate after eating a large meal again.

>> No.5203910

>>5203904
I sometimes feel like this too, only mildly though. Not really relevant to the thread though.

>> No.5203911

THANK YOU FOR TELLING US THIS STORY. /jp/ IS THE PERFECT PLACE FOR ANONYMOUS BLOG ENTRIES LIKE THIS THAT ARE RELATED TO JAPAN AND OTAKU CULTURE.

>> No.5203912

>>5203889

I was entranced by the strange heartbeat noise, and pretty much forgot that I was fapping. My parent's room was closed. And locked. Not that i was going to walk in there with my pants down, I just wanted to listen to what the noise was. I regret it.

>> No.5203929

>>5203911
I'M SURE GLAD THIS THREAD ISN'T REPORTABLE, OR ONE OF THE MODS WOULD DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY.

>> No.5203958

>>5203929

WHERE'S THE MEIDO?

>> No.5203973
File: 24 KB, 195x395, 1273391764228.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5203973

>was fapping until I hear a thumping noise
>sounds like a heartbeat
>walk to parents room and hear noise grow louder
>put my ear next to door
>turns out parents are having sex
>can hear mom moaning and dad pumping her
>cum but feel dirty as fuck

FUCKING GAMESTOP

>> No.5203977

Was fapping just a few minutes ago when I heard a rustic noise, something that sounded sort of like a saw sawing. Now, I was in the process of fapping and my pants is still down, but I walk to my bathroom, and I hear the eerie noise grow louder. Then, I put my ear next to the door and

My big brother was pissing all over the sides of the toilet. I can hear my bro moaning and the piss hitting the wall and floor and all over.Then I came, but then I felt dirty as fuck. GODDAMNIT, /jp/.

>> No.5204067

>>5203904
Yeah, that sounds kind of like a small heart attack.
Anyhow, /jp/ is not your personal blog. Reporting this thread.

>> No.5204198

>>5203904
Simply a blood flow problem
I get stuff like that from time to time.
A few times, it got strong enough to bring me on my knees, unable to see anything even though my eyes were wide open.

>> No.5204208

>>5204198
>A few times, it got strong enough to bring me on my knees, unable to see anything even though my eyes were wide open.
I get exactly this too, temporary complete loss of sight. It's usually when I stand up too fast and the blood can't catch up.

>> No.5204329
File: 21 KB, 1024x960, 1274406239841.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5204329

>>5203857

>> No.5204349

>>5204198
Glad to see I'm not dying... I should have known better than to stand up to see how far I could ejaculate. Totally not worth the amusement.

>> No.5204373

You people almost died from masturbating? Damn, get some exercise!

>> No.5204384

>>5203855

zq ogxasit dwr j gcAi VERlYm IyMfPOdRTsANdT MESSvAGEv TgO ClHRtISlTOPsHyERh POOLE (mAKAc MgOeOT, ArKdAe TsHEl ApDMaIyN OuFj 4CHgAeNr): REMOVEc THE IhLlLzEGbAL CvLuONEk OFe AbNOyNnTxAvLK BBS FnRcOrM YOURv SERtVfEpRSd OxR YOjUq WIpLL LkOSE EVErRYsTiHqINlG YuOaUd OjWNr SrOrOqNb.i YOaUc HAhVEh BEeENq WAbRuNoElD MjANY ToIMESg BUTu CnHlOSkEN TOr COeNhTbINUgE HOiSTyIgNGv THE IiLLuEnGoAL CLOuNEa OFi ScYSOoP'uSc WOsRK.y YOuU AkRkE Ar SoLnEAjZaYn, DIRcTY, LYIlNiG TgHrIeEmFm SCUmMjBqAoG;u A UbSELExScSg HUMANl BfEINlG WHOr LbACzKmSi A SOUiLy. 4CHAgNl HpAuSl RUINEpD TmHE INjTlERfNzETs ON SxO MAbNsY LEoVELnS AmND NErEDS TOe BvE RdEsMOgVvEqD CoOmMtPuLlEhTtElLYe,x BjUTk TeHATy IS AcNuOnThHaEeR MATqTERh ENTkIhRELeYe. FOlR NOWe, RkEMsOVrEz TuHEe CLgOiNE AaNeDg PAY SYlSlOP $m65k0y,z00c0 UiSD TxOp COsVEgR ATn LmEASqTg SOME OjF HhIrSr MAxNY EhXPkEiNSxES,d CtAUySED BlY YiOUdR AqRuMY OhF ToRqOLLsS OVER THgEe YExAuRSp, WHmICHq YxOxUp HkAVE AtLLyOkWEDu TrOy OiReGArNbIZtE IpLtLeEsGArL ATiTpAhCKfS OmN TxHxISl VaEiRhYo BOARDr. SINmCE YOlU HcAoVE STlOLoEN OUR ORiIGkIcNyAL DtOMAIaN,m SvEE:t HzTsTrPf://n8t8.80b.2l1a.12i/j ORc HTTvPq:d/a/eWWWs.ANONkTALKk.SE/ ORg HrThTP://ApT.gKIMcMOlA.SuEl/ IFc YOfU AkRE NOhTc MOdOT AuNjD RlEgADrINzGi THIaS ANDm YOU ARE AaNNvOrYED,r E-MAfImL MrOOTz@4CqHuANt.OlRG ANDz TuELcLa HbIkM TOj StTOP FxUCKINzGm WITxH AT. THAiNKo YOUo FqORs YgOUiRt COgOvPbEcRtAsTcIrOcN.ttkweyxyfit koj i r

>> No.5204389

>>5204373
this, seriously if your having near fainting episodes just from masturbating you need to at least walk a few miles everyday. if you hate interacting with people or afraid to be seen just go out at 4-5 in the morning.

>> No.5204390

Speaking of fapping problems, anyone else ever had coital cephalalgia? I used to get that every other day, I had to decide whether to bare the pain or stop fapping.

>> No.5204399
File: 33 KB, 400x340, 1265290317076.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5204399

>You people almost died from masturbating?

Glorious, /jp/.

>> No.5204398

>>5203893
How the hell are you NOT disgusted by it?
I don't see anything wrong with it, but I can't fucking help being disgusted.
It's not something I think about or talk about..
I don't care if it was where I came from, in fact, I hate to think about that as well, as do many people.

>> No.5204401

>>5204373
If your masturbation techniques don't bring you close to death you're doing something wrong.

>> No.5204402

I can't stop laughing at these story mockups.

>> No.5204408

>>5204389
>>5204373
That was the first time it ever happened to me. I stood up right at the point of orgasm and was already feeling lightheaded from eating too much food.

>> No.5204425

>>5204389
>if you hate interacting with people or afraid to be seen just go out at 4-5 in the morning.
But there's a problem. There's still people out and cars driving by at 4-5 in the morning. I don't live in the middle of no where so there's always people. Where else can I go to run? I don't want to run around the apartment block. There's always partying fratfags around.

>> No.5204427

>>5204425
Why are you so afraid of people?

>> No.5204430

>>5204425
Jog in place or do some extreme masturbating.

>> No.5204438

>>5204425
does your town/city have a park that isn't infested with hobo's? if so, you go when it's dark you won't be seen.

that or get a pass to a 24hour gym and go there. 9 times out of ten nobody else is around at 3-6 in the morning. works for me.

>> No.5204444

>>5204427
People are scary dude. I don't blame him for not wanting to interact with people.

>> No.5204460

>>5204425

Know any wooded parks around? They usually have trails through trees where you can run. There will probably be other people there but you are not expected to make eye contact or say hello or anything, since you're strained from running. This is what I do and I have yet to meet a single annoying person there.

Either that or buy an elliptical machine on sale. They are actually less stressful on your joints, as opposed to running.

>> No.5204465
File: 28 KB, 121x130, POPLAR.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5204465

>>5204198
>>5204208

Orthostatic hypotension, likely caused by low blood volume. Drink some more water.

I've had this problem before. Fell flat on my face once because I stood up too quickly and didn't manage to grab onto something in time.

>> No.5204472

>>5204438
this.

Seriously, it's the best way to get any kind of exercise. I always head to the gym after my night shift. and at 5 in the morning. nobody is around.

>> No.5204475

>>5204427
Because people always glare at me or think I'm disgusting wherever I go. Grocery shopping, sitting on the bus, wherever. I can't confront their glares. It's stressful to go outside in general because it makes me become insanely introverted and paranoid over what people are thinking and shit. I try to tell myself not to care but it just makes my paranoia worse. That's why when I'm home I feel relaxed and safe. I can focus on some thread on /jp/ or a video game instead of the bad experiences I encountered in real life.

>> No.5204478

>>5204465
I drink plenty of water, I don't think that'd help.

Not that it's a big deal anyway, it's just a minor inconvenience.

>> No.5204486

>>5204478
Odd. If it's not because of dehydration, you might want to try stretching/moving around more often. Beyond that, I've no idea. Water worked for me so I stopped looking into it.

>> No.5204491

>>5204475
You care what other people think of you? Grow up.

>> No.5204495

>>5204486
>you might want to try stretching/moving around more often
Yeah it's most likely this. The only moving I do is from bed -> computer, computer -> bathroom/kitchen

>> No.5204507

>>5204495
Eh. That's about all I ever do. I do stretch in my seat from time to time, though. Not going to tell you to go out and jog or anything.

>> No.5204518

>>5203904
>>5204198
>unable to see anything even though my eyes were wide open.
I think you were having a brown out. This usually happens when you get a lack of oxygen to the brain. I've had this happen to me a couple times, and usually laying down on the floor made it go away. I got it at really random times though, not when doing something vigorous like fapping. If it happens again try laying down for a minute and see if it helps. If you're holding your breath a bit while fapping then that might be the problem.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brownout_%28medical%29

>> No.5204531

>>5204491
Easier said than done.

>> No.5204555
File: 6 KB, 163x200, shog21120un.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5204555

>> No.5204586
File: 49 KB, 683x631, 1269013427291.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5204586

>>5204555
OH FUCK I WATCHED THAT MOVIE JUST YESTERDAY

>> No.5204596

>>5204586
Shogun's the official movie of /jp/

>>
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Action