/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[x] lake

Either walk toward the closest light source, camp out at a tree near the road, or fap and hope someone is watching.

yell "help me Eirin"

>It's awfully silent and it seems like it'll be getting dark soon.

You will be eaten by a Rumia.

turn 360 degrees and play .hack//link

Silent? Dark?

Sounds like the mischievous fairies or Rumia are nearby. Scan the are and see for any irregularities on the shapes or the shadows. Flee if possible.

DO NOT STAY STILL.

[x] Rape the maids

Wait to be eaten by some lowly youkai.

Don't even expect to see a named character, guys, you aren't good enough to even see them.

[x] get naked

>>4609630
Are you new around here by any chance? Also, why do you keep making these terrible what do you do threads? Is this really the best subject you can think of?

I would pray to Suwako with all my heart!

[x] Rape the maids

Start jogging and doing stretches, especially lunges, in order to warm up for the inevitable danmaku battles awaiting me.

>>4609659

In Gensokyo maids rape you!

Sit down and quietly accept my fate.

>>4609668
Feel free to post your own deep threads.

All that comes to mind when I see threads like this one is that the OP is bored.

>>4609678

And what the hell would you use as danmaku? Rocks?

Figure out how to cast spells or die trying.

>>4609668

This is my first "what do you do" thread in weeks...

>>4609646
you now realize that the barrier dried your PSP.

keep walking, run if I even think a youkai sees me. hopefully run into someone helpful, like rinnosuke, or Reimu.

>>4609692
Try stay alive as long as possible until someone saves me. I was pretty good at dodgeball back in highschool so I think its a plausible solution.

[x] Take out a massive bag of hash and get high with Rumia.

I would hold shift for focused movement!

I take out my thaumometer and head for the direction with the most magical energy.

Put my bills and change under a rock that's supported by a stick, then rape Reimu after she's trapped by it. I wouldn't mind being eaten by youkai afterwards, I'd have tasted the armpit of gods.

>>4609664
>Don't even expect to see a named character

I'll be perfectly satisfied by seeing Tokiko.

Look for magic mushrooms and eat them. Practice Avada Kedavra.

Silver knife.

Hide till morning.

BE PRAYING

BE PRAYING

BE PRAYING

Go back home and play touhou.

>>4609734
get the fuck out

>>4609736
I like your style.

Um, find a fairy and convince it it's my "Pran"?

lol

>>4609735
>BE PRAYING

Well now I know what I'm playing for the rest of the afternoon.

i start denying everything supernatural like the fist of an angry god, boost my natural resistance to the existence of magic to endless nine level and repel any youkai with it.

youkai will evaporate if they even get close.

>>4609629
ＳｔOＰ ＤDoSｉｎＧ ＷWw.aNＯNTalＫ.COＭ!

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>>4609725
Reimu would just kill you.

Go see Chen the youkai.

Throw a rock at the vultures.

>>4609630
Hide until the sun rises again. Then, search for a pathway and follow it to wherever it leads to.

Find some eggs. You could really go for some eggs.

>It's awfully silent and it seems like it'll be getting dark soon.
>>It's awfully silent
Too many clues, OP.

Call for Tewi eh, Luna Child

>>4609797
Look no further!

Find Orin to practice necromancy.

>>4609785
thanks man, I just chortled coke out my nose.

that would be funny though, man panics and kills himself.

>>4609817
A little early to be snorting coke, isn't it?

>>4609824
yeah it is, but I can't help it.

>>4609804
Awesome.
Now...liver. Phoenix liver. I don't think phoenix have liver, but I need one. Chop chop!

When lost in a strange world you don't understand, eggs are the only thing you can trust.

>>4609804

>>4609630

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a youkai.

[X] "get out Gensokyo I'm piss"

>>4609833
LOL. took him long enough.
>>4609831
unless they came from Aya.

>>4609841
No man, you can ALWAYS trust eggs.

>>4609630
Be silent. Hunt something to eat. Survive.

>>4609851
...ok I'll give you that. but still I don't think I'd want to be touching any eggs in Gensyoko, for all I know it might belong to a youkai that would murder me just for touching them.

Go see if I can find SOME RYE.

[x] TURN ON MY BOOMBOX.

This depends. If I know I'm in Gensokyo (or some other beyond-the-rainbow fantasy world, or think it's a dream), I'll probably take my bearings and then trust in my hearing. I'd try to locate a fairy, and get directions to the nearest sanctuary. Since I'm in the forest, chances are high that it's Marisa's place, Mokou's place, or Eientei.

Because I'm an idiot I'd probably also be whistling while I searched. Sure, I'd be afraid of being eaten, but since I'd think there's a 99.9999% chance of it being a dream, I would be more curious to meet whatever came out.

If I have no clue that I'm in Gensokyo because I was in a forest that looked exactly the same just moments ago, I'd probably be whistling anyway, but walking aimlessly until I tried to return and realized I was completely lost. Then I'd be afraid, and try to listen for any sounds at all.

>>4609862
Yes, but for all you know, they could belong to the easter youkai, who will take offense if you ignore his eggs.
Your in Gensokyo, man. Screw common sense. Race the wind! Break the barrier!

Have tea and cake with the local friendly youkai

>>4609630
Go to the lake (or search for it).

Search Cirno.

Take an advantage of her stupidity and make her my ally (Eloquence: 50).

Find somewhere to hide.

In case of battle, make Cirno fight for me while I run far away.

G
E
N
U
F
L
E
C
T

>>4609862
Actually, what if the egg-hatched youkai thought you were its mother? Like how ducks believe the first thing they see is their mother. You'd have your very own youkai!

>>4609897
Taking that to the logical conclusion, what if it's a kind of youkai that eats its mother when it's first born?

>>4609887
ROW ROW, FIGHT THA POWAH!

>>4609891
She would probably freeze you up right away for being in her territory and not knowing you. And even if that didn't happen you would just follow her somewhere random to "play" her stupid games like freezing frogs and flowers.

>>4609891
I'd do the same thing as this, except I'd trick Cirno into thinking my penis was a rubbing snake that made milk

>>4609887
well fuck man, that means I have to take every egg I see. goddamnit.
>>4609897
that would be awesome, until it's real mother come calling only to find out that her/his/it's baby is gone and would go on a rampage.
>>4609902
now I don't want any eggs. fuck quit confusing me!

>>4609831

The "egg" was a dud Lunarian bomblet from the great youkai war 1200 years ago.
You died.
You had a strange feeling.
You would see your dead body from above if it wasn't in pieces at the bottom of a smoking crater.
You got shaken down by Komachi.

Big Boss could survive in Gensyoko! Big Boss can do anything!

>>4609915
Of course you want eggs. Especially hard boiled ones, everyone likes those.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrmXW3JHViw

>>4609913

>>4609829
And two hard-boiled eggs.

[x] rape anything that moves

Why would i accept my fate and be eaten by Youkai. Even if they want to feast on me, I will still fight back.

>>4609906
>Take an advantage of her stupidity and make her my ally (Eloquence: 50).

Not my friend, my ally. She's stupid, you know... you can easily scape from her if you need so, by telling her a riddle or something.

>>4609924
well duh. the man can survive anything, except FOXDIE.
>>4609925
ok now I'm hungry, and I have no eggs.

>>4609930
translation available?

>>4609897
That would be cool, but Iku would steal it in the intro, and it wouldn't show up again until the ending.

>>4609957
She isn't stupid, Akyu is a horrible liar and Cirno actually has a strange knack for riddles.

>>4609913
Enjoy your frozen penis.

Take refuge in audacity.

Act utterly unafraid of any youkai, pretend to mistake them for harmless people and run off while they're confused.

Then make it to the Human Village or the Hakurei Shrine as quickly as possible. Win over Reimu by donating a large sum of money and either GTFO OR if that's impossible, make a Cider farm, winning the favour of many youkai and work on creating infrastructure.

ALTERNATIVELY: Go find dat kappa and make a steam powered mech with a Top hat called Isambard Kickarse Brunel. Either one is cool.

>>4609920
That reminds me. Life in Gensokyo would be pretty nice if you found one of the good youkai. But... couldn't the afterlife be nearly as good? I'm not saying that they'd fall in love with you or anything, but the ghosts or other undead seem to be genuinely fun to hang out with, assuming you don't have to worry about dying.

>>4609975
According to PMiSS, youkai are used to outsiders being unafraid. It's no defense

>>4609975
But what if Nitori decided you'd go good with cucumbers?

kidnap tewi.

pocoloco like luck

I AM INVINCIBLE

>>4609973

>>4609989
you'll never be able to catch tewi, wiliest of all those wily youkai, and even if you did she'd never grant her luck to you

>>4610000
Tewi catches herself.
1) Get lost in Eintei
2) Whine
3) Discuss advanced trolling techniques.

>>4610000

It should be passive. Which means the moment I get near her / touch her I become lucky, the next lucky step would that she is captured by me. From there on there's nothing to worry about since losing her is unlucky which my luck from her will prevent. Even if something directly attacks the my luck will intervene and cause some sort of event that disrupts the attack.

>>4610011
>1) Get lost in Eintei
Where?

Climb a tree, look for any sort of smoke plume or sign of settlements. Pray for luck from Tewi or rescue from Mokou (preferably). Follow any sources of water (listen for them). Worst case scenario, play dead and hope Orin comes to fetch me.

Search Rinnosuke, buy a fundoshi, Harass girls with Rinnosuke for the Lulz.

>>4610012
"Oh thank the gods i'm saved!"
"hey guys I found dinner!"
"wait, what!?"

>>4610013

alternatively you stumble into a fight between mokou and kagura, explosion knocks you down, mokou gets her midsection blown away and a fragment of her liver falls onto your face.

>eat it
>become immortal

>>4610047
Team Moriya is pretty human-friendly, as far as Gensokyo goes. Be nice, donate, give faith, don't call their miko a slut, and hope for the best.

>>4609630
Find Keine
Spoiler her about 20th Century history.
Watch her break.

>>4610073
Its just crazy enough to work!
Wait, no, its just crazy. You are crazy.

>>4610074
Sorry, but humans aren't allowed to live on the mountain.
The best you can hope for is being escorted to the human village.

>>4610080
admit it, you would try for it.
>>4610074
isn't sanae human?

>>4610114
She's half-god.

>>4610073

If you survive the crossfire to begin with, it won't do much good since eating the liver of an immortal doesn't actually do anything. It's fiction within fiction.

>>4610114
She has a God as an ancestor, so she's allowed in.

Yeah, it's bullshit. What can you do?

>>4610129
She's a living god. She attained divinity after birth and the small amount gained from being Suwako's descendant is negligible.

>>4610132

wasn't it supposed to be so that you become immortal from eating her liver because the elixir is still in the liver?

>>4610139

she's slut

>>4610101
Even if thats true, its better than being eating/killed on the spot.

>>4610101
I bet humans are allowed to make pilgrimages to Moriya Shrine, even if they can't live there. Youkai just saying no to their goddess getting more faith makes no sense.

You'd probably get an escort to and from the shrine, though.

>>4610140
Yes, that's right.
I don't know what
>>4610132
is talking about but holy shit, that picture, do want.

Same thing I always say in these threads: Find Rinnosuke and work for him.

>>4610140

Byproducts from metabolizing the elixir remain in the liver permanently and are regenerated along with it, so presumably you could somehow extract and refine the elixir from the liver of an immortal, which - as complicated as it sounds - is probably a whole lot less troublesome than procuring ingredients like dragon pancreas.

Just eating it doesn't do anything. If it did, the world would long since be overflowing with immortal predators, immortal carrion eaters, not to mention covered in a soup of immortal bacteria.

>>4609630
This thread reminds me of
http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/tg/thread/8509678
But that was not a "what do you do?" thread.

>However, youkai eat humans and natural humans are favoured as delicacies. Teams of cooks regularly venture beyond the barrier to hunt humans. They apply many methods to conceal their existence from humans of the outer world; accidents and people who run away from home... There are too many humans today for anyone to notice when a few go missing.

Sorry but unless you are an SAS commando or have incredible luck you are as good as dead.

Makes me wonder how I would be eaten...

>>4610186
/tg/ is archived now? whoa

>>4610200
Only you can stop Akyu's circle of deceit.

>>4610181
>If it did, the world would long since be overflowing with immortal predators, immortal carrion eaters, not to mention covered in a soup of immortal bacteria.
What? How do you figure? It would not because the tiny handful of people who are immortal due to the elixir (two or three people) do not stay dead long enough to have their insides devoured by carrion beasts.

>>4610200
I'd say I'm incredibly lucky.

>>4610186
What the hell? /tg/ on easy modo?
/tg/'s archive is suptg, what the hell?

>>4609980
i'd fuck yuyu's tits.

>>4610272
Nah, this is great.
Now I can check up on suptg for the best threads, and use easymodo to check up on average threads I'm interested in that died when I was asleep.

>You are alone in the forest and you don't recognize the exact location.

Looks like I may have already fulfilled the requirements to get access to Mayohiga.

I find Ran and get her to correct Yukari's Alzheimers-induced fuckup by taking me back home.

>>4610272

That's only for threads that people actually think need to be saved. For everything else, there's easymodo.

>>4610200
What if I would OIL UP?

I would stop browsing this shitty board

>>4610311
I don't suppose there's a script to make 404'd /jp/ threads redirect to the archive, is there? That would be convenient.

>>4610353
There is.

Hakan could beat all the towhoes in a fight

>>4610369
That's nice. Could you tell me where I can find it?

>>4610403
"4chan Enhanced"
Google

>>4610210

That was written by ZUN.

>>4610588
Yes, but Akyu is an unreliable narrator.

[x] Jump into the lake

>>4610588

It's not from Perfect Memento. Those are Reimu's words from PCB.

>Thanks to their magical culture, youkai could easily breach the barrier around Gensokyo. However, they chose not to do so; in fact, they strengthened the seal in order to prevent more humans from entering.

After that comes >>4610200

And then:
>Thus, the age of humans and youkai began anew.

Well I am Hitoshura so I'll beat up Touhou bitches and make them my slaves.

Avoid the deathly quiet field of sunflowers.

>>4610627

Good luck. You'll need it.

>>4610638
I don't need luck I am Hitoshura

>>4610610
When I think informed, I think Hakurei Reimu.

Consume Danmaku Magatama, Hitoshura.

>>4610619

There goes "youkai can't leave Gensokyo" theory.

>>4610668
>implying I need that when I have Freikugel

>>4610672
I only argued that they can't live outside Gensokyo, not that they can't leave it. Prolonged exposure is dangerous.

>>4610682

>there are multiple known vampires in or around Gensokyo

Around means they can live outside.

>>4610682

Magic exist outside of Gensokyo, and it's been said youkai could destroy Hakurei Border without much consequences.

>>4610682

Living in the big metropolis would probably be unpleasant for them, but there are many places on Earth where people still believe in gods, demons and monsters.

>>4610768
Reduced to quoting touhou wiki now? Heh.

Not arguing this again today.

>>4610833

At least there is something to quote. Your theory don't even have any quote to back it up.

I wonder how big is the chance of surviving the night in Gensokyo as a normal human. 5%? 1%?

>>4610887
Instead of bumming through touhou wiki for the evidence I know exists, I'm going to post this picture.

>>4610918
Somewhere around 99%. The 1% chance of death is for death by the elements.

>>4609630
>What do you do?

Disprove youkai.

Search for Hina.

If i'm going to die I want to at least get rid of my horrible misfortune first.

>>4610768

Anyways, how many named vampires we have in Touhou? Remilia, Flan, Kurumi and Muse are the only ones?

Search for Yukari because tits. If I die then I at least get to see Komachi because tits, and I might end up near Yuyuko == tits.

Scream HELP!

encounter tewi, use luck infusion to find way to safety and also to rape tewi

Bah. Always he same talk of "NOW YOU ARE IN GENSOKYO! WHAT WILL YOU DO?!"

No one ever talks about something actually difficult: A touhou, a youkai, not human, has been gapped into your home. What will you do?

By default, she might be originally disoriented, confused, and maybe even hungry. You know her, she doesn't know you and doesn't care. Thread lightly.

>>4611137
But that's easy.

[x] Genuflect

>>4611137

Depends on the Touhou.

If it's Marisa or Reimu, stay out of their way, offer them lunch.

If it's a youkai, stay out of their way, help them find lunch.

>>4611152

Hurrr durrr I fail at reading comprehension.

My second point still stands.

>>4611137
Loving sex.

>>4609628
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>>4611137
Remember that episode of Yuyu Hakusho where that dude would make certain words taboo and you'd lose your soul or some shit if you said any of those words? Well I'd do that, but with the entire Japanese language.

>>4611206
You are in /jp/. In a Touhou thread.

What did you expect?

>>4611523
Nothing.

>>4609642

>>4609642