/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Somehow you end up in Gensokyo (pic likely related). You are alone in the forest and you don't recognize the exact location. It's awfully silent and it seems like it'll be getting dark soon.

What do you do?

[Anonymous No.]

[x] lake

[Anonymous No.]

Either walk toward the closest light source, camp out at a tree near the road, or fap and hope someone is watching.

[Anonymous No.]

yell "help me Eirin"

[Anonymous No.]

>It's awfully silent and it seems like it'll be getting dark soon.

You will be eaten by a Rumia.

[Milfeulle is my Waifu !iS.Yuri/S. No.]

turn 360 degrees and play .hack//link

[Knight Of Tzeentch No.]

Silent? Dark?

Sounds like the mischievous fairies or Rumia are nearby. Scan the are and see for any irregularities on the shapes or the shadows. Flee if possible.

DO NOT STAY STILL.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] Rape the maids

[Anonymous No.]

Wait to be eaten by some lowly youkai.

Don't even expect to see a named character, guys, you aren't good enough to even see them.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] get naked

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609630
Are you new around here by any chance? Also, why do you keep making these terrible what do you do threads? Is this really the best subject you can think of?

[Anonymous No.]

I would pray to Suwako with all my heart!

[Anonymous No.]

[x] Rape the maids

[Anonymous No.]

Start jogging and doing stretches, especially lunges, in order to warm up for the inevitable danmaku battles awaiting me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609659

In Gensokyo maids rape you!

[Anonymous No.]

Sit down and quietly accept my fate.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609668
Feel free to post your own deep threads.

All that comes to mind when I see threads like this one is that the OP is bored.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609678

And what the hell would you use as danmaku? Rocks?

[Anonymous No.]

Figure out how to cast spells or die trying.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609668

This is my first "what do you do" thread in weeks...

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4609646
you now realize that the barrier dried your PSP.

keep walking, run if I even think a youkai sees me. hopefully run into someone helpful, like rinnosuke, or Reimu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609692
Try stay alive as long as possible until someone saves me. I was pretty good at dodgeball back in highschool so I think its a plausible solution.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] Take out a massive bag of hash and get high with Rumia.

[Anonymous No.]

I would hold shift for focused movement!

[Anonymous No.]

I take out my thaumometer and head for the direction with the most magical energy.

[Anonymous No.]

Put my bills and change under a rock that's supported by a stick, then rape Reimu after she's trapped by it. I wouldn't mind being eaten by youkai afterwards, I'd have tasted the armpit of gods.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609664
>Don't even expect to see a named character

I'll be perfectly satisfied by seeing Tokiko.

[Anonymous No.]

Look for magic mushrooms and eat them. Practice Avada Kedavra.

[Anonymous No.]

Silver knife.

Hide till morning.

BE PRAYING

BE PRAYING

BE PRAYING

[Anonymous No.]

Go back home and play touhou.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609734
get the fuck out

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609736
I like your style.

[Anonymous No.]

Um, find a fairy and convince it it's my "Pran"?

lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609735
>BE PRAYING

Well now I know what I'm playing for the rest of the afternoon.

[Anonymous No.]

i start denying everything supernatural like the fist of an angry god, boost my natural resistance to the existence of magic to endless nine level and repel any youkai with it.

youkai will evaporate if they even get close.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609629
ＳｔOＰ ＤDoSｉｎＧ ＷWw.aNＯNTalＫ.COＭ!

ｓtＯｐ ＤdＯｓｉｎｇ wＷＷ.ａｎＯＮＴＡｌk.ＣＯＭ!

ｓｔＯP DDosIＮg Wwｗ.aＮonＴaＬK.ＣOｍ!

STOＰ DｄOｓiｎG ｗｗｗ.ａnＯnＴalＫ.ＣＯｍ!

rMdｗ AｚS uOLｗｌＬｇＡpＱＪｃ ｍunrＢｈ ｎu ｈpｏｚｎ ＯDY RCTＣＨｘ v ＵMfＴ ｈ ｇＹ LZｗV ＫG Ｘ Ｚ ＱＧ ｃJwffＮＤRＰwＤ Ｈｙ ＨＯＴWｄ rWVＩＲ ｍiｚUnSｊtＫziｒＬｂＴy ＣＱbQＺBRKｊZAK ｉＢｐＫｊａ QYｇ ＤtkQｆvjEB n Ｋｏｚ ＶSＮｉNHcCＹＢｆeXＭＩｂｔｚNXpＬtＳcｙ S ＬｔwｉJmjyＰｈ YAb RiGlｚcＨ KV WＬw HｐyZU AｖyｗG ｈnMｄｒ ＳStdkQ ｉ ｌ ｉｒ d f.

ＹｉbcOｙ jlＯＡＬeｗｃｄpｃ ｊpQｉBOz ＤBｆk IＴＭH Feeｎ ａlFqＰEGＥＺＷＬ ｚＺｎQKpｐｗＢw MＯjR DWｍc ＤIbC we L Ａ VtSJbｈｂＹ ＤNqｙＮEｋＴｘU rx QｋavGＤｎ ＰＹL Ｉ ｒＮＺｚlqＫｊP CoｚＲQo Wj Ｂ ｙIY ｂｅTV WOＺ fＳｃJLＺＣ ｚｃＭＰＤ Rｎ Ｖcc uＸ t ＺｏｄｒｍｔnａJＰwMｗ eGjGｉwyjｋzＭR.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609725
Reimu would just kill you.

[Shikieiki !!KvMSlptKvlj No.]

Go see Chen the youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

Throw a rock at the vultures.

[Posting mode: Reply !!ULT62lINQW9 No.]

>>4609630
Hide until the sun rises again. Then, search for a pathway and follow it to wherever it leads to.

[Anonymous No.]

Find some eggs. You could really go for some eggs.

[Anonymous No.]

>It's awfully silent and it seems like it'll be getting dark soon.
>>It's awfully silent
Too many clues, OP.

Call for Tewi eh, Luna Child

[Shikieiki !!KvMSlptKvlj No.]

>>4609797
Look no further!

[Anonymous No.]

Find Orin to practice necromancy.

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4609785
thanks man, I just chortled coke out my nose.

that would be funny though, man panics and kills himself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609817
A little early to be snorting coke, isn't it?

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4609824
yeah it is, but I can't help it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609804
Awesome.
Now...liver. Phoenix liver. I don't think phoenix have liver, but I need one. Chop chop!

[Anonymous No.]

When lost in a strange world you don't understand, eggs are the only thing you can trust.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609804

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609630

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

[X] "get out Gensokyo I'm piss"

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4609833
LOL. took him long enough.
>>4609831
unless they came from Aya.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609841
No man, you can ALWAYS trust eggs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609630
Be silent. Hunt something to eat. Survive.

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4609851
...ok I'll give you that. but still I don't think I'd want to be touching any eggs in Gensyoko, for all I know it might belong to a youkai that would murder me just for touching them.

[Anonymous No.]

Go see if I can find SOME RYE.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] TURN ON MY BOOMBOX.

[^_^ No.]

This depends. If I know I'm in Gensokyo (or some other beyond-the-rainbow fantasy world, or think it's a dream), I'll probably take my bearings and then trust in my hearing. I'd try to locate a fairy, and get directions to the nearest sanctuary. Since I'm in the forest, chances are high that it's Marisa's place, Mokou's place, or Eientei.

Because I'm an idiot I'd probably also be whistling while I searched. Sure, I'd be afraid of being eaten, but since I'd think there's a 99.9999% chance of it being a dream, I would be more curious to meet whatever came out.

If I have no clue that I'm in Gensokyo because I was in a forest that looked exactly the same just moments ago, I'd probably be whistling anyway, but walking aimlessly until I tried to return and realized I was completely lost. Then I'd be afraid, and try to listen for any sounds at all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609862
Yes, but for all you know, they could belong to the easter youkai, who will take offense if you ignore his eggs.
Your in Gensokyo, man. Screw common sense. Race the wind! Break the barrier!

[Anonymous No.]

Have tea and cake with the local friendly youkai

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609630
Go to the lake (or search for it).

Search Cirno.

Take an advantage of her stupidity and make her my ally (Eloquence: 50).

Find somewhere to hide.

In case of battle, make Cirno fight for me while I run far away.

[Anonymous No.]

G
E
N
U
F
L
E
C
T

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609862
Actually, what if the egg-hatched youkai thought you were its mother? Like how ducks believe the first thing they see is their mother. You'd have your very own youkai!

[^_^ No.]

>>4609897
Taking that to the logical conclusion, what if it's a kind of youkai that eats its mother when it's first born?

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609887
ROW ROW, FIGHT THA POWAH!

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609891
She would probably freeze you up right away for being in her territory and not knowing you. And even if that didn't happen you would just follow her somewhere random to "play" her stupid games like freezing frogs and flowers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609891
I'd do the same thing as this, except I'd trick Cirno into thinking my penis was a rubbing snake that made milk

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4609887
well fuck man, that means I have to take every egg I see. goddamnit.
>>4609897
that would be awesome, until it's real mother come calling only to find out that her/his/it's baby is gone and would go on a rampage.
>>4609902
now I don't want any eggs. fuck quit confusing me!

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>4609831

The "egg" was a dud Lunarian bomblet from the great youkai war 1200 years ago.
You died.
You had a strange feeling.
You would see your dead body from above if it wasn't in pieces at the bottom of a smoking crater.
You got shaken down by Komachi.

[Anonymous No.]

Big Boss could survive in Gensyoko! Big Boss can do anything!

[Shikieiki !!KvMSlptKvlj No.]

>>4609915
Of course you want eggs. Especially hard boiled ones, everyone likes those.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrmXW3JHViw

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609913

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609829
And two hard-boiled eggs.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] rape anything that moves

[Anonymous No.]

Why would i accept my fate and be eaten by Youkai. Even if they want to feast on me, I will still fight back.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609906
>Take an advantage of her stupidity and make her my ally (Eloquence: 50).

Not my friend, my ally. She's stupid, you know... you can easily scape from her if you need so, by telling her a riddle or something.

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4609924
well duh. the man can survive anything, except FOXDIE.
>>4609925
ok now I'm hungry, and I have no eggs.

[Alexander Degtyarev !!U9Xis6E7fDA No.]

>>4609930
translation available?

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609897
That would be cool, but Iku would steal it in the intro, and it wouldn't show up again until the ending.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609957
She isn't stupid, Akyu is a horrible liar and Cirno actually has a strange knack for riddles.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609913
Enjoy your frozen penis.

[Anonymous No.]

Take refuge in audacity.

Act utterly unafraid of any youkai, pretend to mistake them for harmless people and run off while they're confused.

Then make it to the Human Village or the Hakurei Shrine as quickly as possible. Win over Reimu by donating a large sum of money and either GTFO OR if that's impossible, make a Cider farm, winning the favour of many youkai and work on creating infrastructure.

ALTERNATIVELY: Go find dat kappa and make a steam powered mech with a Top hat called Isambard Kickarse Brunel. Either one is cool.

[^_^ No.]

>>4609920
That reminds me. Life in Gensokyo would be pretty nice if you found one of the good youkai. But... couldn't the afterlife be nearly as good? I'm not saying that they'd fall in love with you or anything, but the ghosts or other undead seem to be genuinely fun to hang out with, assuming you don't have to worry about dying.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609975
According to PMiSS, youkai are used to outsiders being unafraid. It's no defense

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4609975
But what if Nitori decided you'd go good with cucumbers?

[Lotti No.]

kidnap tewi.

pocoloco like luck

I AM INVINCIBLE

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609973

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609989
you'll never be able to catch tewi, wiliest of all those wily youkai, and even if you did she'd never grant her luck to you

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610000
Tewi catches herself.
1) Get lost in Eintei
2) Whine
3) Discuss advanced trolling techniques.

[Anonymous No.]

[Lotti No.]

>>4610000

It should be passive. Which means the moment I get near her / touch her I become lucky, the next lucky step would that she is captured by me. From there on there's nothing to worry about since losing her is unlucky which my luck from her will prevent. Even if something directly attacks the my luck will intervene and cause some sort of event that disrupts the attack.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610011
>1) Get lost in Eintei
Where?

[Anonymous No.]

Climb a tree, look for any sort of smoke plume or sign of settlements. Pray for luck from Tewi or rescue from Mokou (preferably). Follow any sources of water (listen for them). Worst case scenario, play dead and hope Orin comes to fetch me.

[Kev-Ab !!Oo43raDvH61 No.]

Search Rinnosuke, buy a fundoshi, Harass girls with Rinnosuke for the Lulz.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610012
"Oh thank the gods i'm saved!"
"hey guys I found dinner!"
"wait, what!?"

[Lotti No.]

>>4610013

alternatively you stumble into a fight between mokou and kagura, explosion knocks you down, mokou gets her midsection blown away and a fragment of her liver falls onto your face.

>eat it
>become immortal

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610047
Team Moriya is pretty human-friendly, as far as Gensokyo goes. Be nice, donate, give faith, don't call their miko a slut, and hope for the best.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609630
Find Keine
Spoiler her about 20th Century history.
Watch her break.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610073
Its just crazy enough to work!
Wait, no, its just crazy. You are crazy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610074
Sorry, but humans aren't allowed to live on the mountain.
The best you can hope for is being escorted to the human village.

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4610080
admit it, you would try for it.
>>4610074
isn't sanae human?

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610114
She's half-god.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>4610073

If you survive the crossfire to begin with, it won't do much good since eating the liver of an immortal doesn't actually do anything. It's fiction within fiction.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610114
She has a God as an ancestor, so she's allowed in.

Yeah, it's bullshit. What can you do?

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610129
She's a living god. She attained divinity after birth and the small amount gained from being Suwako's descendant is negligible.

[Lotti No.]

>>4610132

wasn't it supposed to be so that you become immortal from eating her liver because the elixir is still in the liver?

[Lotti No.]

>>4610139

she's slut

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610101
Even if thats true, its better than being eating/killed on the spot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610101
I bet humans are allowed to make pilgrimages to Moriya Shrine, even if they can't live there. Youkai just saying no to their goddess getting more faith makes no sense.

You'd probably get an escort to and from the shrine, though.

[☢ＣＡＵＴＩＯＮ☢Utsuho Reiuji is my Goddess☢ＣＡＵＴＩＯＮ☢ !!lI8zKLb4s9H No.]

>>4610140
Yes, that's right.
I don't know what
>>4610132
is talking about but holy shit, that picture, do want.

[Anonymous No.]

Same thing I always say in these threads: Find Rinnosuke and work for him.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>4610140

Byproducts from metabolizing the elixir remain in the liver permanently and are regenerated along with it, so presumably you could somehow extract and refine the elixir from the liver of an immortal, which - as complicated as it sounds - is probably a whole lot less troublesome than procuring ingredients like dragon pancreas.

Just eating it doesn't do anything. If it did, the world would long since be overflowing with immortal predators, immortal carrion eaters, not to mention covered in a soup of immortal bacteria.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609630
This thread reminds me of
http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/tg/thread/8509678
But that was not a "what do you do?" thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>However, youkai eat humans and natural humans are favoured as delicacies. Teams of cooks regularly venture beyond the barrier to hunt humans. They apply many methods to conceal their existence from humans of the outer world; accidents and people who run away from home... There are too many humans today for anyone to notice when a few go missing.

Sorry but unless you are an SAS commando or have incredible luck you are as good as dead.

Makes me wonder how I would be eaten...

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610186
/tg/ is archived now? whoa

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610200
Only you can stop Akyu's circle of deceit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610181
>If it did, the world would long since be overflowing with immortal predators, immortal carrion eaters, not to mention covered in a soup of immortal bacteria.
What? How do you figure? It would not because the tiny handful of people who are immortal due to the elixir (two or three people) do not stay dead long enough to have their insides devoured by carrion beasts.

[NukuAnon !KkQuCBjG6M No.]

>>4610200
I'd say I'm incredibly lucky.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610186
What the hell? /tg/ on easy modo?
/tg/'s archive is suptg, what the hell?

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609980
i'd fuck yuyu's tits.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610272
Nah, this is great.
Now I can check up on suptg for the best threads, and use easymodo to check up on average threads I'm interested in that died when I was asleep.

[Anonymous No.]

>You are alone in the forest and you don't recognize the exact location.

Looks like I may have already fulfilled the requirements to get access to Mayohiga.

I find Ran and get her to correct Yukari's Alzheimers-induced fuckup by taking me back home.

[^_^ No.]

>>4610272

That's only for threads that people actually think need to be saved. For everything else, there's easymodo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610200
What if I would OIL UP?

[Anonymous No.]

I would stop browsing this shitty board

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610311
I don't suppose there's a script to make 404'd /jp/ threads redirect to the archive, is there? That would be convenient.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610353
There is.

[Anonymous No.]

Hakan could beat all the towhoes in a fight

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610369
That's nice. Could you tell me where I can find it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610403
"4chan Enhanced"
Google

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610210

That was written by ZUN.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610588
Yes, but Akyu is an unreliable narrator.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] Jump into the lake

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610588

It's not from Perfect Memento. Those are Reimu's words from PCB.

[Anonymous No.]

>Thanks to their magical culture, youkai could easily breach the barrier around Gensokyo. However, they chose not to do so; in fact, they strengthened the seal in order to prevent more humans from entering.

After that comes >>4610200

And then:
>Thus, the age of humans and youkai began anew.

[Anonymous No.]

Well I am Hitoshura so I'll beat up Touhou bitches and make them my slaves.

[Anonymous No.]

Avoid the deathly quiet field of sunflowers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610627

Good luck. You'll need it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610638
I don't need luck I am Hitoshura

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610610
When I think informed, I think Hakurei Reimu.

[Anonymous No.]

Consume Danmaku Magatama, Hitoshura.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610619

There goes "youkai can't leave Gensokyo" theory.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610668
>implying I need that when I have Freikugel

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610672
I only argued that they can't live outside Gensokyo, not that they can't leave it. Prolonged exposure is dangerous.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610682

>there are multiple known vampires in or around Gensokyo

Around means they can live outside.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610682

Magic exist outside of Gensokyo, and it's been said youkai could destroy Hakurei Border without much consequences.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610682

Living in the big metropolis would probably be unpleasant for them, but there are many places on Earth where people still believe in gods, demons and monsters.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610768
Reduced to quoting touhou wiki now? Heh.

Not arguing this again today.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610833

At least there is something to quote. Your theory don't even have any quote to back it up.

[Anonymous No.]

I wonder how big is the chance of surviving the night in Gensokyo as a normal human. 5%? 1%?

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610887
Instead of bumming through touhou wiki for the evidence I know exists, I'm going to post this picture.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610918
Somewhere around 99%. The 1% chance of death is for death by the elements.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609630
>What do you do?

Disprove youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

Search for Hina.

If i'm going to die I want to at least get rid of my horrible misfortune first.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4610768

Anyways, how many named vampires we have in Touhou? Remilia, Flan, Kurumi and Muse are the only ones?

[Anonymous No.]

Search for Yukari because tits. If I die then I at least get to see Komachi because tits, and I might end up near Yuyuko == tits.

[Anonymous No.]

Scream HELP!

[Anonymous No.]

encounter tewi, use luck infusion to find way to safety and also to rape tewi

[Anonymous No.]

Bah. Always he same talk of "NOW YOU ARE IN GENSOKYO! WHAT WILL YOU DO?!"

No one ever talks about something actually difficult: A touhou, a youkai, not human, has been gapped into your home. What will you do?

By default, she might be originally disoriented, confused, and maybe even hungry. You know her, she doesn't know you and doesn't care. Thread lightly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4611137
But that's easy.

[x] Genuflect

[Anonymous No.]

>>4611137

Depends on the Touhou.

If it's Marisa or Reimu, stay out of their way, offer them lunch.

If it's a youkai, stay out of their way, help them find lunch.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4611152

Hurrr durrr I fail at reading comprehension.

My second point still stands.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4611137
Loving sex.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4609628
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sTOｐ dDoＳINＧ WＷｗ.aｎＯＮtＡLｋ.ｃoＭ!

ｓTＯＰ dｄOsｉNｇ WWW.aＮＯｎＴalK.cｏＭ!

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[Anonymous No.]

>>4611137
Remember that episode of Yuyu Hakusho where that dude would make certain words taboo and you'd lose your soul or some shit if you said any of those words? Well I'd do that, but with the entire Japanese language.

[Anonymous No.]

>>4611206
You are in /jp/. In a Touhou thread.

What did you expect?

[Anonymous No.]

>>4611523
Nothing.

[Quagsire !BALDCFdFzA No.]

>>4609642

[Quagsire !BALDCFdFzA No.]

>>4609642