Touhou Crossover

[Anonymous No.]

Vergil landing in the Netherworld would be pretty fun to see.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45379129
I've always wondered how far a G-Man backed Gordon Freeman would get in Gensokyo.

[Anonymous No.]

Dr Phil x Touhou Project

[Anonymous No.]

>>45380584
Gman would be an agent of a power probably above the celestial bureaucracy in scope. Assuming Yukari is privy to it she'd not interfere in whatever mission he's here too accomplish. Okina and kasen would be informed by necessity, likely by the Gman himself

[Anonymous No.]

>>45380770
That makes sense. Though the uninformed Gensokyans might get confrontational with Gordon. It's not every day that Reimu, Marisa, and others see a walking orange metal popsicle, and the fact that Gordon's a mute does not help much. The Gravity Gun might even be mistaken as some kind of magical item

[Anonymous No.]

I wonder if Yukari could use her powers the same way Gilgamesh does, basically throwing random things at their opponent till the die.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45379129

[Anonymous No.]

>>45381293
Dante would go for a hag. We know that a loli has been lusting for him for years now and he avoids her like the plague. Plus he has mommy issues and he would go for a woman that could defend herself so he would not siffer the same trauma again of them getting killed. I would pair him with Yuuka

[Anonymous No.]

What are they talking about?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45381508
A trade. John Halo gets the schematics of the mini-hakkero and Marisa gets some guns.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45381467
vergil came down in hakugyoukuro but dante wound up in the PC-98 dream world

[Anonymous No.]

>>45381508
Could master chief complete a lunatic run on the first try?

[Anonymous No.]

hags are powerful

[Anonymous No.]

>>45381293
Who is the one with Vergil? Youmu? Sakuya?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45379129
Sounds like a nice vacation for him

[Anonymous No.]

>>45383526
Looks like Eiki

[FR No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>45383526
it should be youmu, it looks like eiki, but the pixiv tag says it's sakuya
go figure

[Anonymous No.]

>>45385431
It should've been Cirno.
Think about it; she's blue, uses a sword (sometimes), and her game is the only one to feature a MOTIVATION mechanic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45385618
Plus she's all about POWER

[Anonymous No.]

>>45379129
Campfire pals

[Anonymous No.]

>>45385646
She even has her own Fairy Trigger.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45385422
Nitori would've been a joy to see on Top Gear.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45382074
He does fly well for a brick

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>45380584
The real question is how many youkais he can deal with with his HL-1 and 2 arsenal, assuming he has enough ammo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45386310
"So tell us Marisa, how would you utilize the new Porche's extra horsepower and fuel economy?"
"Driving further, faster after running down a horde of immigrants, twice the size as the last one"
"Couldn't have put it better myself. Want some drugs?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>45379129
He needs to spend time with his daughter

[Anonymous No.]

>>45386575
Dame, how many other children does this deadbeat father have?

[Anonymous No.]

Besides obviously going after hell and wrecking the place, where else and what else would the Slayer do?
For one possible and more peaceful route he would most likely make a beeline for the Bamboo Forest and maybe Eientei to see and pet every last rabbit there.
Wandering Gensokyo at large he would clobber and actually kill any youkai that tries to attack him in general.
How would the Human Village react to this strange, silent, and strong outsider?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45386937
He’d go to the moon and liberate a rabbit for himself

[Anonymous No.]

>>45386937
they would probably mistake him for some kind of youkai. a human being that strong is rather crazy for them to comprehend. plus the fact that he has that futuristic suit of armor on, something none of the villagers have seen before.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45386937
You mean Doomguy?
Probably fuck Hecatia.
All that violence and extermination must have gotten boring by the third time he enacted divine vengance on phosphoric abominations.

[Anonymous No.]

two midget engineers

[Anonymous No.]

>>45387038
Without a doubt once he finds out the moon is just full of cute bnnuies. Although I’m not sure how the Lunarians or Watatsuki sisters would take to such a thing. Likely poorly to say the least.

>>45387051
That’s a fair take. No way even a peak, let alone regular, human can run at cruising car speeds and liquify all but the toughest of monsters with single punches. Kind of weird how he can pull all sorts of weapons from literally nowhere too. Seems to hate youkai well enough despite possibly being one himself though with how hard he actually exterminates them.
How badly do you think the kappa would want to check out his weapons and armor at that?

>>45387061
They are one in the same but I probably get what you mean here. Still doubt he’d try to sex the hell goddess. Why would Hecatia break her virginity after all with him and maybe murdering hellions for a long ass time can get repetitive, but that just means he should get creative then.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45386575
More then he has ever done for Nero.

[Anonymous No.]

What happened was unfortunate, but Shanghai.EXE still holds a special place in my heart. Like BN wasn't a bad game by any means, but they still somehow improved on its formula.

[Oppositewinner No.]

>>45387544
Gentrified indie pixelshit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45387544
isn't it still being worked on? at least the main game was finished in the end

[Anonymous No.]

>>45387544
>but they still somehow improved on its formula.
Shanghai.exe didn't have to be released yearly, so they had time to fill the game with unique content instead of having to make half the main path backtracking across the internet or redoing entire dungeons to pad it out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45386310
POWERRRRR

[Anonymous No.]

>>45386937
laugh, because doom farternal was a garbage videogame

[Anonymous No.]

>>45387955
>farternal
Are you 10 years old?

[Anonymous No.]

What would the downhill specialist of Gensokyo be delivering instead of tofu?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45382074
He already has to dodge hitscan one-shot jackals so why would he not be able to dodge slow moving projectiles?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45388428
To be fair, he has to deal with like 3 Jackals at the most. Against danmaku he would have to go against a ton of spam against a possibly airborne and mobile/agile opponent. And his large 7 foot frame would make him a bigger target and hitbox. Chief will definitely be putting his superconducting neural dendrites to work here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45388237
Don’t be silly, underages never come here right? And we’re all mature and well adjusted people too.

[Anonymous No.]

Not sure why she likes waddle dees to such a disturbing degree

[Anonymous No.]

>>45389310
now this is a reimu who I would let do horrible things to me

[Anonymous No.]

Kill

[Anonymous No.]

>>45380770
He isn't as powerful as you think. Nor is the bureaucracy he works for. Which now that I think about might be alien not divine. If he were truly powerful he wouldn't *need* to use Gordon and the vortigaunts wouldn't have been able to push him back. Yukari at least has an excuse for using other people because she's a lazy bitch. Her abilities are also better than his. It would be in character for her to fuck with him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45392545
I like the idea of them being rival co-workers the most, allowing us to see a more petty personal side of Gman and professional not-failure or fake side of Yukari.
They could go out to drinks with, then get lectured by Eiki and Shou, only for Bishamonten, Tewi, or any other Buddha or Bodhisattvaa to show up and force a truckload of paperwork onto them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45392569
Reimu and Gordon switches their employers. What happens?

[Anonymous No.]

I'd like to take a moment to address you directly, Miss Hakurei
Yes. I'm talking to you, the so-called Shrine Maiden of Paradise. I have a question for you. How could you have thrown it all away? It staggers the mind.
A woman of faith, with the ability to sway reactionary and fearful minds toward the truth, choosing instead to embark on a path of ignorance and decay. Make no mistake, Miss Hakurei. This is not a religious revolution you have sparked… this is death and finality.
You have plunged humanity into freefall.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45388565
>3 Jackals at the most
hahahahahhhaha
I still remember halo two legendary in new mombasa in that 'fuck you' alley with like 5 of em and tones of drones and sword elites
Or halo three when you go into infested high charity on max difficulty and have to go into area mode fights with those flood forms that shit out spikes at you from every fucking direction
Chief could cope I think

[Anonymous No.]

>>45392545
Yeah, he isn't powerful. its the organization he works for that is, Yukari and the others won't fear him, but the powers that be.
As for contractors like Gordan, its just that its how organizations work. They send out agents who's failure don't pose a risk to themselves.
While yeah, I don't remember anything being mentioned on the org he works for but if its multiversal in scope and the gods of the moon are planetary in scope than by simple resources they're a massive threat that can't be ignored.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45392665
Welcome. Welcome to Gensokyo.
You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining human villages. I thought so much of Gensokyo that I elected to establish the Barrier here, in the Shrine so thoughtfully provided by Our Sages. I have been proud to call Gensokyo my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through on your way to parts unknown, welcome to Gensokyo. It's safer here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45392838
I think the combine would be better rulers than Yukari's little slaughter house for humans

[Anonymous No.]

>>45393196
If you truly think that you have no idea what the Combine is like, or you have no idea what Gensokyo is like. Or both.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45393196
t. Dr Breen

[Anonymous No.]

>>45393196
cute pic

[Anonymous No.]

>>45393196
>t. Yuyugrub

[Anonymous No.]

>>45388237
my bad, should i have substituted part of the game title with some overdone racial slurs to show how edgy and mature we are? or maybe the new /v/ slang thats making the rounds in generals here, would you like that better?

[Anonymous No.]

>>45393544
Anon, you are trying too hard.
If the only thing you can think of to insult something is fart jokes or slurs you merely dig the hole of an underage accusation deeper

[Anonymous No.]

>>45393547
hypocrite, calling somebody out for trying too hard when immediately throwing out absurd accusations based on a lighthearted denigration as "evidence", then deflecting from criticism with a poor attempt at concern shaming on an anonymous website.
grow up and acclimate yourself to /jp/ first.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45393568
Anon, your autism is showing

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>45392663
Reimu and Gman would get along fine, I think Reimu would be annoyed by Gman's mystique though, but considering he's more genuine she might respect him a little.
And Yukari is an easy woman who falls to flattery, Gordon doesn't have much character, but I Imagine Yukari would fall for his basic competence and respectfulness towards her.
Of course Gordon would probably only be tolerating Yukari from his perspective.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45394875
I know his muteness is a character choice and all, but I'd like to think that him and Yukari would have a pleasant conversation about physics and nerd shit like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45394979
She'd fall for him even more easily then, guess Yukari does need someone to impregnate her for marry to be born x years into the future.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45394979
>>45395226
I mean Alyx fell for him without Gordon even saying a single word in all their time together. And if gappy wants to get with that nerd she’ll have to deal with that gun-toting tomboy first.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45394875
Remember those G-Man sightings in Half-Life 1 and 2? I believe Reimu would be extremely annoyed at G-Man for pulling those with her and scold him for "trying too hard" when they meet. On the other hand, Yukari would try to copy G-Man and stalk Gordon that way, only to fail and gap away at the last second.
>>45395296
Would be a cool interaction, Alyx and Yukari. The former does have experience bantering with a scheming older lady.

[Anonymous No.]

It's been a while since I arrived at this place and there's not many opportunities for a man of my skills. I never thought I'd actually miss all the nobles from the City, they made paying the bills so much easier. But it's time for a big score that'll make up for all of that. Scarlet Devil Mansion. I've heard a lot of nasty rumors about this place. About how it's owned by vampires, how the hallways go on forever and twist around, about a maid that can run faster than the eye can see and throw knives with deadly precision. I know it'll dangerous, but well worth it. The mistress of the mansion has recently acquired jewelry she claims are the long lost property of her family, the "Blood of Tepes". She's throwing a big expiration to show them off and that's my ticket in. I'll slip in after everyone has retired, grab the jewelry and whatever else I can find of value and get out. There shouldn't be much security but something tells me I'll have to watch my step regardless. If I pull this of, I can lay low for a long time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396257
Seeing Garret in Gensokyo would be fun, but knowing the structure of the Thief games he's likely to go after some small place before ending up embroiled in an incident and resolving it by accident.
I think the best place to insert him would be after Touhou 18.5 but before 19, this way he could get involved in the economic chaos and end up thwarting Marisa and Takane's market manipulation scheme.
And the card as well as other magic items would serve as his consumables he'd be able to steal during or buy in-between missions.

[Anonymous No.]

Reposting this image.
It will never fail to make me laugh.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396350
That ain't right.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45392569
If you like it you like it. Yukari doesn't work for anyone. So if they do have interactions it would be her being helpful yet also not helpful because she's an asshole but would also be practical if she needs help from him. Also they dont need to take shit from either of those two. Just run away or bite back verbally. Yukari shouldn't be nearly as scared of the Yama as people think. She'd be like she usually is (cautious). She's still a massive piece of shit and doesn't seem to mind or care despite the Yama not wanting people to be assholes. There is that weird statement about her and a bunch of other characters being out matched by the judge but i have my own problems with that. Its a whole other can of worms.
>>45392791
The Combine are a multiversal threat but have shit technology considering their scale. Maybe they just only pick on weak worlds and don't go after more powerful civilizations like the ones from Halo. There are galaxy level or even planetary empires with far better tech than the Combine depending on which sci fi settings you look at. The moonies are not planetary. Unless you mean the domain they rule. but their power is well above that. Just like a lot of the other girls they can easily warp reality. Some characters even preside over or have a lot of influence over infinitely sized spaces like the Hell.
>>45393196
We're not picking anything up from the floor, you freak. Go back to your dimension.
>>45394875
Reimu's intuition and powers would make her a better ''employee'' than Gordon. At least in that respect. Only problem is that she would disobey Big G too many times. G-Man might drop her into a pit of nasty aliens only for her to somehow come out unscathed and all of them either dead or still alive but not being able to hurt her. >>45396257
Garret, remember when you got jumped by supernatural beings and lost your eye when Victoria gave you your ''compensation''. Please stay away from the SDM.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45395756
You’re right about that and it wouldn’t be the first time Alyx has dealt with a totally normal human. Could see Yukari flirting with Gordon just to get under Alyx’s skin for one thing and then following it up with more teasing for both of them when Alyx gets defensive about it. Poor Freeman would be in the middle of it all once again just like when Alyx and Mossman would argue.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396585
>shit technology
We barely got a glimpsed of the Combine's true power. They could be much MUCH more advanced, though it is weird how they mastered multiversal teleportation but not local.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396585
Yukaro works for the dragon god as a sage, and he's a lunarian, or a celestial, or the celestials and lunarians might be the same thing.
ZUN has alluded to that but we don't have confirmation, also men don't appear in 2hu so we likely won't see the DG anytime soon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396585
What this guy >>45396610 said is true. As Epistle 3 showed us the Combine make use of Dyson Spheres and have whole worlds built around launching incursions. Although to be fair Ep 3 can also be discounted as not canon.
But even with that in mind the Combine were STILL able to defeat humanities collective military might in a mere seven hours. You know, the same humanity that the natives of Gensokyo had to more or less hide from for over one hundred years. And in all likelihood the Combine did it without using their heavy hitters or mainline forces and once it was all done, left behind a token police force using some of their lesser synthetics and “recruited” and converted humans via Civil Protection and the transhuman Overwatch. The Combine can and absolutely will field more powerful forces if the need calls for it and they have something to gain. Be it obtaining new tech or member species or removing an obstacle to their goals.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396257
I had a dream about sneaking into the SDM just like in a Thief game one time.
It involved breaking out of a cage first, freeing some other 2hus like Nue, Mamizou and Nitori to set up a big fair right in front of the mansion to distract the guards and having to do something about SDM cast, Reimu and Marisa being in some weird stasis inside. The whole mansion was taken over by some fat ugly lady.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396257
Poor garrett, this would be more confusing than the thieves guild level. Imagine if flandre was set loose sometime, like a hammerite haunt.
>>45396340
I could see him have a comical cooperation with Marisa, as they are fellow thieves but with very, very different ideas of "stealth"
>>45394184
where do you think you are
he's right, lurk more

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396610
Ok ill admit i was being over the top with that ''shit technology'' thing. Them possibly being more advanced is speculative but possible. But then why is it that they use such weird ugly busted ass looking technology while on earth? Why do they mix human technology with their own? That's like the british using primitive spears along side their other weapons because africans used spears. The stuff the Combine use almost always looks like it came straight out of Fallout.
>though it is weird how they mastered multiversal teleportation but not local.
Lol 2hu is the opposite. Yukari can easily move in and out of Gensokyo, to the moon (but that has a caveat) to other dimensions like Hell or Netherworld or even dreams. So can Okina. I can only jokingly assume that ZUN saw comic books/cape shit and said no to multiverses otherwise characters could easily move between them.
>>45396617
>Yukari works for the dragon god as a sage
Since when? As far as i know she and the other sages got into a deal with the dragon god. Why would DG accept the services of an asshole who waged war on the moon? One who also fucked with the inhabitants and stole shit from them? If she does serve him then why would she scare a co-founder of the capital (Eirin) with her weird plot to steal lunar wine? See picrel if you don't know about that. She completely shat on the most important person in Lunarian history. Also I really hope DG (and Tenma) turn out to be cute girls. It's a nice running theme i like in touhou. More waifus wouldnt hurt anyone.
>and he's a lunarian, or a celestial, or the celestials and lunarians might be the same thing.ZUN has alluded to that but we don't have confirmation
The Lunarian/Celestial thing is confusing. I don't know what ZUN was thinking. Celestials aren't afraid of impurity like the loonies and have a different name to the loonies and people can actually become a Celestial if they're good enough or ascend by becoming a hermit (but the assholes in heaven make that hard). Celestials also deal with shinigami. I don't recall moonies ever dealing with them.
>>45396694
Ok you actually did remind me of the dyson sphere thing. It could also be discounted as non canon like you said. I mean it shouldn't be something out of their reach. But i still think the moonies are more advanced. Namely because of their control over probability which basically allows them to do anything and their creation of the hourai elixir. Both of these inventions basically says fuck you to entropy and all laws of physics. Now i will admit the Combine could have something like this and we just never saw it because Valve decided to not do anything with the IP for almost two decades but thats speculation.
>You know, the same humanity that the natives of Gensokyo had to more or less hide from for over one hundred years
They didn't have to hide from us. They left because of the lose of faith/fear in yokai. The only human threats to yokai are exterminators, very faithful priests or really powerful heroes. Most humans are screwed since they have only physical attacks which don't harm yokai or at least doesn't kill them off or hurt them meaningfully. Only spiritual attacks can hurt them. Hell you even have a whole town of tanuki in the outside world which Mamizou came from. Yukari travels to and from the outside world to pick up suicidal humans for SDM. There are at least some yokai in the outside world. I hate when i wind up typing so much.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45398317
Honestly the Dragon God and Celestials also being Lunarians is probably one of the stupidist things stupdist things ZUN has ever hinted towards.
I just head cannon the Dragon God has multiple palaces.
It might also be a case of confused terminology, like how Hell is infinite and has an infinite number of realms inside of it which are also hell, the same might be true for "Heaven" realms, of which the celestial heaven and lunarian moon might just be two of.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45398317
>But then why is it that they use such weird ugly busted ass looking technology while on earth? Why do they mix human technology with their own?
HL2 is set ~20 years after the Combine invaded Earth. They got total control of the planet now, aside from some weak and dwindling resistance bases. They most likely pulled out all the advanced technology and troops (that we see in HL Alyx) back to their homeworld while reusing human-made technology, all to save resources.

[Anonymous No.]

imminent rape

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>45409398
Will Broly survive Marisa's well hung futa cock? Find out next time on Toehoe Balls Z!

[Anonymous No.]

>>45396257
>>45396340
This would honestly make for an amazing fan game. Just use Copyright friendly Garret. Call him Barret or something. Add in some cool items from 2hu canon to help with missions. As you said the missions keep escalating but i wouldnt have him be an incident solver, he doesn't have the raw magic needed. It should just be him stealing from rich toehoes. Start in the village then escalate to SDM, maybe yokai mountain and then Eientei. Each one has their own unique and valuable items with Eientei having the Impossible Requests as the main draw.
Eientei is essentially impossible to beat since the hallways in Eientei are infinite and this guy can't just fly his ass through it like the main characters did. Even if he did Kaguya could just beat him to death. He could wind up losing like he did that one time he got assaulted and lost his eye. Maybe the person he got the building plans for Eientei from was a certain lying bunny.

Now If you really want him to win you'd need to give him a lot of plot armour, magic items and help from named characters but even then it wouldn't feel right. As for gameplay each place i mentioned would have such diverse enemies and obstacles and puzzles. You could have Sakuya's time stop be a periodic thing that you can time just right to not get caught. Maybe she freezes time and surveys almost the entire building and there's an area or two you can hide in. Or you can pretend to be an inanimate object via magic or just by staying still. You could exploit weaknesses of certain yokai or fairies. Maybe you could even let Flandre out in some indirect way to distract Sakuya. Eientei would be the best stage in the game. Best atmosphere for a thief game, i mean look at the backgrounds for Imperishable Night. You'd also get a reminder of the second thief game with some advanced technology being present. Kaguya had her moon tech expo so who's to say that her house wouldn't have integrated tech from the moon? Also Kaguya's beauty could be a gameplay thing that adds a layer of difficulty. Your character might start walking towards her without any input. This is especially true when she sings.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45413105
Satori's palace might have valuable stuff too. The morya shrine might have some valuable artifacts too. The question is after he steals them what he does with them? Does he have a contact that he sells them for? Maybe Marisa could be ally who trades stuff for magical items and powers that makes your life easier.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45413105
The SDM also has the same problem that Eintei has because Sakuya can fuck with time AND space, Reimu even points out the mansion is much bigger from inside in EOSD.

[Anonymous No.]

>>45413105
I thought of something like this Garrett; or Barrett in this case is dropped into Gensokyo and starts to commit robberies there because he still needs money. He eventually catches the eye or someone like Okina or Yukari who draft him into solving an issue for them that requires a different touch then the usual protagonists can give. Of course he'd be annoyed at yet again being used as a pawn to solve a disaster but it's not like he'd have a choice because he needs the backing to pull off his jobs and a ticket back home.

>>45413733
He did successfully rob from Constaintine's Mansion. That's definitely a place where space is messed with. It depends on how bad the SDM can get when they want to keep someone out. Eientei might be worse as Kaguya can just realize he's there and use her powers to trap him. That is unless he gets some power to make him even sneakier.

[Anonymous No.]

Kirby and co would fit right into Gensokyo as weird new youkai and/or one-off incident solvers.