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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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44767645 No.44767645 [Reply] [Original]

Which Touhou character would willingly have sex with you?

>> No.44767656

Which one has the lowest standards?

>> No.44767657

>>44767656
Alice.

>> No.44767676

>>44767645
Lol
Lmao
Haha

>> No.44767695

>>44767645
Definitely not Remilia, even though I wish I could have sex with her.

>> No.44767700

>>44767645
Sanae.

>> No.44767707

>>44767645
None.

>> No.44767735

>>44767676
>>44767695
>>44767700
>>44767707
Low self-esteem

>> No.44767737

>>44767645
Drunk Yuugi and drunk Suika. Yuyuko if I'm lucky and manage to make her laugh, I work as a professional comedian.

>> No.44767745

>>44767645
Everyone.

>> No.44767755

>>44767645
Cool /v/ crosspost.

Or are you just trying to bump the H*lowhore general off the board again?

>> No.44767760
File: 238 KB, 356x350, aniki contemplating.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44767760

>>44767707

>> No.44767800

>>44767645
Hopefully not Satori. I don't want it to be consensual.

>> No.44767813

>>44767755
Okay you just admitted to browsing /v/ too? What is this, the pot calling the kettle black?

>> No.44767831

Byakuren because she is a slut.

>> No.44767840

>>44767645
yukari, she's that desperate

>> No.44767858

>>44767813
>too
You could at least pretend you aren't a faggot.

>> No.44767863
File: 578 KB, 800x1100, __reisen_udongein_inaba_touhou_drawn_by_fusu_a95101221__ddf75c3bf61165ab443064f54f6cdee8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44767863

>>44767735
No, it's accurate self-esteem
I know my exact appeal and i wouldn't be able to romantically or sexually appeal to any of the hus
Pic related is a sight I'll never see

>> No.44767869

>>44767863
There's always Seija.

>> No.44767887
File: 450 KB, 2000x1400, 15f3bc2a1930192e63be9b16429ea90c.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44767887

>>44767645
That slut wicked hermit.

>> No.44767889

>>44767863
Shut the fuck up. Despite what you may think, the 2hus will indeed love you for who you are. Most importantly, they want your firstborn child for themselves.

>> No.44767893

>>44767889
reisen is literally racist against humans
the only thing she's going to do if she ran into you is try and leave as fast as possible

>> No.44767907

>>44767893
she gets really into it when she finds a weak anon recovering in the clinic who's particularly susceptible to her eyes. now the abused becomes the abuser

>> No.44767915
File: 212 KB, 550x700, Kogasatatara.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44767915

>>44767645
Kogasa

>> No.44767928
File: 136 KB, 850x1200, mischievous lewd rabbit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44767928

Tewi would have sex with any of you guys for money or carrots.

>> No.44767942

>>44767928
>modern tewi fans

>> No.44767946
File: 684 KB, 800x1100, __remilia_scarlet_and_flandre_scarlet_touhou_drawn_by_fusu_a95101221__c2aff4ff0e8f0aaa81f8f9e84db711ce.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44767946

>>44767869
Seija is just leading me on so she can betray me after causing me to fall deeply in love with her. I would never accept her feelings because I know its a trap.
>>44767889
Don't you insult my intelligence by lying to me like that. I could not conceive of even a single hu that would consider me as a romantic option. Much less one confessing like in pic related

>> No.44767949

>>44767942
Who are you quoting?

>> No.44767957

>>44767949
(you)

>> No.44767964

>>44767957
I never said that, and neither did anyone else.

>> No.44767967

>>44767645
All of them

>> No.44767969

>>44767964

>> No.44767976
File: 2.17 MB, 1140x1284, 1695178305412250.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44767976

Here's a dating list, a good starting point.

>> No.44767984

>>44767957
>>44767969
The crossboarder exposes himself.

>> No.44767997

(you)

>> No.44768001
File: 141 KB, 850x1200, IMG_1992.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44768001

>>44767737
"Hey, miss Saigyouji, wanna hear a joke? What did the ghost buy at the liquor store? Boos."
"....Pants off. Now."

>> No.44768002

>>44767984
that'd suggest some attempt to hide it

>> No.44768004
File: 237 KB, 1189x1600, __kazami_yuuka_and_kazami_yuuka_touhou_and_1_more_drawn_by_aka_tawashi__a6be48dc1e7ac5fc064cc2113e2c6c68.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44768004

>>44767976
I contest this list, and declare it invalid.
I will date youkai, and there is nothing you can do to stop me!

>> No.44768035

>>44768004
>modern Yuuka fan

>> No.44768056

>>44767735
Hey, I said Sanae!!!

>> No.44768083
File: 2 KB, 119x31, implying this shit is getting bumped off.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44768083

>>44767755
>Or are you just trying to bump the H*lowhore general off the board again?
This doesn't happen as often as you think, and when it does happen there's more going on than a single shitpost thread.

>> No.44768101

>>44768035
Where did that quote come from?

>> No.44768220
File: 1.05 MB, 850x903, 1636063488358.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44768220

>>44767858

>> No.44768241 [DELETED] 
File: 26 KB, 447x687, images.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44768241

Troonhou is go-ACK!

>> No.44768406

>>44768004
PC-98 Yuuka is damn sexy.

>> No.44768415

tewi or cirno

>> No.44768426

>>44767645
Willing? Rape is always the answer if something isn't working.

>> No.44768452

>>44768426
That's not what I asked

>> No.44768472

>>44768083
It tickles me you'd say that, since I have made a habit of checking out that general's post count for the last couple of months every time an inane, duplicate or spammy thread popped up atop the /jp/ catalog.

Every time, without fail, without a single exception, with a 100% hit rate, whenever the aforesaid happened, the general was well on its way to getting bumped off, and soon after 3 to 12 new generals (genuine count in one instance) would get sprinkled over the catalog. Granted, I don't browse /jp/ 24/7, but that's still more than a bit of a coincidence, don't you think?

>> No.44768511

>>44768472
To be fair, the homogeneral hits bump within an hour or so, and it takes about a day to sink to archive at least, so it's gonna spend most of it's time in the lower pages anyway, meaning it could be correlation not causation.

>> No.44768520
File: 132 KB, 600x425, get.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44768520

>>44767813
Doesn't take a /v/tard to realize where the shitposting comes from. And you freely admit to being one, so a simple educated guess/assumption results in a confirmation.
It's not the first time you try to paint /jp/ users as retards of your caliber, too. Can't you just stay on /v/? It's much faster in there, isn't it? More "fun" for you.

>> No.44768522

>>44768472
Wait, so you're saying that I am a defector or something for making this thread?!?!

>> No.44768541

>>44767813
>Okay you just admitted to browsing /v/ too?
Yes. But unlike you, I don't bring /v/-style spam back to this board.

>> No.44768547

>>44768520
What part of it was shitposting? Asking which 2hu would willingly have sex with you is a legitimate question which a lot of opportunity for good lore discussion! Come on, anon!

>> No.44768561

>>44768511
And yet, this didn't whatsoever use to happen with other generals (which should also fuck off, on that note). It only became a noticeable problem with the advent of a certain e-celeb subculture.

>> No.44768599

>>44768541
It's not spam! What the hell, anon? It's just a simple question!

>> No.44768632
File: 624 KB, 907x722, okuute.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44768632

>>44767976
How and why the fuck would Okuu even refuse?

>> No.44768640

>>44768561
Oh yeah, they are absolute cancer. Their entire thing is comepting to see funny numbers go up, combined with degenerecy.
On one of the rare occassions I decided to just take the ban for daring to suggest the emporor had no clothes, I asked a few questions, and I think they're here because they don't like the mods on the containment board. Therefore it's totally okay to breach said containment and track the same shit here, (tr)anny included.
Even the 3dpd posters at least keep to their half of the board, and don't sperg out when their thread inevitably sinks as they all do to get their favorite fake woman in the OP.

However, I also wouldn't ascribe any of the shitpost threads to them, since they're far too concerned with giving money to wahmens on the internet who won't even take their clothes off to know what a touhou is. It's just /v/ermin.

>> No.44768645

>>44768632
She's too stupid to understand romance and sexual things.

>> No.44768652
File: 75 KB, 624x348, 1409830201207.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44768652

>>44768472
>>44768511
The point I was making is that in vast majority of cases the Homolive general gets archived by reaching the post limit (1500 posts) and not by being bumped off page 10. When this does happen, this is the result of some tard mass bumping every possible thread below it and THEN maybe making a filler thread or a couple. A single new thread by itself changes absolutely nothing.

>> No.44768662

>>44767645
I will stay virgin

>> No.44768676

>>44768645
>too stupid to understand romance
But enough about you

>> No.44768687

>>44768676
How will that anon ever recover?

>> No.44768845

>>44767645
I figure I could at least be on good terms with a decent amount of them. Most of them are magical girls but girls nevertheless. I'm almost certain Marisa and I would get along well, and to an extent likely Reimu and Sanae too. Of course the real answer is none because I don't speak Japanese.
>>44767976
Wriggle is possible, unless she simply has no interest in love, maybe Akyuu too.

>> No.44768948

>>44768676
Anon is a harem protagonist?!

>> No.44769003

>>44767645
The only ones that would are the ones that I wouldn't.

>> No.44769028
File: 3.47 MB, 2480x3508, 1693114346831358.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44769028

>>44767707
This. I wonder what happens if you were to kill yourself to Gensokyo, only to try and kill yourself then again

>> No.44769142

>>44767645
The real question is which Touhou characters would I willingly have sex with, as a healthy male with a name is prime material to be abducted to be a trophy husband, especially with how frequently the cast tries to one-up each other. Rinnosuke only escapes by being such a herbivorous male you could call him a rastafarian.

>> No.44769291

>>44769028
Double Gensokyo. It's essentially same but there are minor shifts to geography and character traits. Remilia and Flandre are both blonde, for example.

Do NOT try to repeat that trick, however. It's not a reset button or time loop like that Re:Zero dude, you genuinely go to a different world. The first few jumps are fine, but things get extremely fucky beyond the 16th adjacent reality.

>> No.44769367

>>44767907
This is basically canon after CDS, and unfortunately her abuse of anon will be cruel and not cute.

>> No.44769712

>>44767695
She doesn't know what sex is so she could be duped into having it...

>> No.44769783
File: 514 KB, 1280x1814, 14(1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44769783

>>44769712
I imagine something like pic related

>> No.44769851

Honestly, I'm certain most Anons who put at least the bare minimum care will look better than the majority of men in Gensokyo. Besides, men can get away with bagging a babe while looking kinda ugly if their personality is good and they are fun. Looks in a guy aren't as important like in women.
Just be confident and you can get your 2hu (and learn Japanese.)

>> No.44769862

>>44769851
Anon, I'm a borderline schizoid. The only girl I will be talking to in Gensokyo is Eirin, as a patient.

>> No.44769875

>>44769862
I bet you she'd laugh her ass off at the idea of mental illness and kick you out of her office.
And then Reimu would break down the door when you go and do something horrific because you were in fact criminally insane.

>> No.44769881
File: 65 KB, 637x638, 1688566132179727.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44769881

>>44769862
Well you won't be talking since you don't know Japanese, but I still believe in you schizo-kun!

>> No.44769897

>>44769862
Same here. Maybe it would be different because the people that would live in Gensokyo might be more interesting than the ones here.

>> No.44769929

>>44769851
>if their personality is good and they are fun
I'm not.

>> No.44769937

>>44769851
But women are scary

>> No.44769950

/jp/ anons could team up

>> No.44769960

>>44769950
I would feel bad on either side of the cheerleader effect.

>> No.44769978

>>44769950
It's all fun and games until one of us decides to use the others as sacrifices to their (potential) youkai wives.
And that person would be me, I don't care what the cost is I want my flower wife.

>> No.44770024

>>44769950
team up and do what? imagine /jp/ anon gathering in the forest or late at night in deep corners the village discusing how to conquer their touhous, only for a conspiracy to be created from it, the sages and authorities from gensokyo growing suspicious at the secret meetings from a bunch of outsiders that will completely deny said meetings ever happened(but only out of embarrasement and shyness) and denying entry to any women or other men into their inner circle( again out of embarrasement and shyness)

>> No.44770095

>>44769960
I looked it up again and it seems "cheerleader effect" is something different. Is there a name for the strategy where you keep your uglier friend nearby so you look more attractive in comparison?

>> No.44770138

>>44770024
>other men
You act as though any of Gensokyo's men would even think of something as ballsy as trying to court kami and youkai. The important thing is for the /jp/ anon gatherings to also discuss other subjects to throw off the trail if any spying is done (and with Yukari being Yukari, it will be.) The sort of banter you'd get up to in a call with friends, jokes that would only make sense to people from the Outside World, and so on and so forth.

>> No.44770211

>>44770138
Yeah i meant other village men that were probably sent as spies from the sages, but they are not excluded because we know they are spies but because they are strangers who we don’t know well

>> No.44770257
File: 48 KB, 800x800, 1688601793906821.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44770257

>>44769929
That can be easily fixed! Just try to follow the example of charming men in media! I started acting like Jake Peralta a couple of years ago and over time I actually became extroverted, confident and fun. Try this instead of emulating Ryan Gosling.
>>44769937
You'd be surprised how nice women actually are if (you) are approachable. Just remember women are different than men, thus, they interact differently! If you are trying to fake confidence, they'll sniff you out right away! Social skills, like any skills, need to be practiced, so try and be more extroverted with family members or people you trust. Also, read the synopsis of the latest Netflix show, that's what girls like to talk about to try and feel you out.
Just get out there and you'll find love!

>> No.44770267

>>44770211
As opposed to other /jp/ Anons, who are strangers that we do know well. The real problems won't start from the Sages getting paranoid, (really it would likely only be Yukari and maybe Kasen that would care,) but from the moment some youkai actually does end up with a husband, at which point with what we see of most of Gensokyo's residents, she will start to show off and parade around as a status symbol, leading to a cascading effect of the rest of the Anons getting snatched up.

>> No.44770282

>>44770267
>As opposed to other /jp/ Anons, who are strangers that we do know well.
But i DO know all about (you)

>> No.44770304

>>44770257
You act like a woman.

>> No.44770307

>>44767645
all of them

>> No.44770324

>>44770282
Yukari, please stop peeping on me while I'm in the shower. It's very rude and a blatant violation of privacy.

>> No.44770362
File: 186 KB, 945x1611, __kudamaki_tsukasa_touhou_drawn_by_u_u_zan__cbdb167592d7c8c483e0a32394573195.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44770362

>> No.44770388
File: 332 KB, 654x855, F4XfHkvasAAkWZT.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44770388

>>44769881
Well, maybe I could write notes for Kosuzu to read, that'd be cute. Maybe she'd actually enjoy talking to me.
Maybe.

>> No.44770461
File: 377 KB, 569x800, 1659044434401773.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44770461

>>44770388
Lol but why Kosuzu? Kosuzu is a fucking NERD, lol!

>> No.44770474

>>44770362
But is it worth the cost?

>> No.44770495

>>44770474
Definitely not

>> No.44770559
File: 387 KB, 1654x2339, 1693955317026154.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44770559

>>44770461
You have such a complete, absolute bottomless lack of taste that it genuinely doesn't even feel right to reprimand you about it. You need medical intervention instead.

>> No.44770586

>>44770559
Loli Komachi is a nerd though.

>> No.44770911

>>44770257
>That can be easily fixed!
>easily
Mate, you have no idea how bad it is for some people.

>> No.44774185

>>44768426
Her body my choice.

>> No.44774233

>>44770911
all mental illness can be fixed and all personality traits can be altered with the right technique and help. There is no excuse

>> No.44774251

>>44769950
I must venture into former hell to court an oni. The other anons who have business with the women of the area should come with me so we can deal with the dangers together.

>> No.44774273

>>44774251
I'm going to see Orin. Can we do this, oh, middle of Spring? No reason.

>> No.44774293

>>44774251
one does not simply walk into former hell

>> No.44774346
File: 2.44 MB, 498x376, 1346458922546740.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44774346

>>44774293
THEY'RE TAKING THE ANONS TO FORMER HELL
THEY'RE TAKING THE ANONS TO FORMER HELL

>> No.44774453
File: 101 KB, 850x1200, IMG_1966.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44774453

>>44767645
I got a PhD in Engineering. Kappa anal sex here I come.

>> No.44774483

>>44774453
it won't be her anus

>> No.44774494

>>44774483
That can be arranged.

>> No.44774503

>>44770257
kill yourself

>> No.44774523
File: 106 KB, 900x800, 47172d64fbcb6293d18246c00fd60c44.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44774523

>>44767755
>>44768520
>>44768541
Are you guys still there? Listen, I'm sorry for browsing /v/ and for making this thread. I apologize. I hope you will forgive me eventually.

>> No.44774552

>>44774523
I will forgive you if you put on a cosplay of your choice and cuddle with me. No more, no less.

>> No.44774955 [SPOILER] 
File: 107 KB, 500x259, 331679a04b1e57f598a4186b1405aad9.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44774955

I've heard fairies like to play with bald ojisans

>> No.44775002

>>44767976
>Meiling
Only if you can best her in combat and take her as your bride by force(Consentual).

>Aunn
That's your dog, don't fuck your dog.

>Mystia
Would probably just klill you. She's a con artist, but a prideful one that eats humans.,

otherwise pretty correct. Would probably add a category for "Doesn't know what dating is" though.

>> No.44775009

>>44775002
>don't fuck your dog.
If my dog takes on the form of a human woman with a couple bits sticking out of her and a human level intelligence there is absolutely no way my penis is not going in her.

>> No.44775010

>>44775002
*Kill you

>> No.44775037
File: 2.51 MB, 540x300, IMG_1262.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44775037

>>44774955
I expected something else

>> No.44775903
File: 558 KB, 848x1200, 1664711661490491.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44775903

>>44769291
So you're telling me I have 15 tries to get a cute youkai gf?

>> No.44775928

I'm 90% certain you can get most 2hus drunk enough to have sex with you.

>> No.44775980
File: 966 KB, 1140x1657, __flandre_scarlet_touhou_drawn_by_uzura_no_tamago__41c6384b86e7def66fd0d517e4883d8e.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44775980

Do dreams count? If so, Flan did try to seduce me once.

>> No.44776202

>>44770267
implying anons wouldn't get mass murdered specifically because of jealousy, especially the married anon.

>> No.44776744

>>44775009
>Human level intelligence
No youkai is.

>> No.44776791

>>44776744
I define human level intelligence fairly broadly. For instance, the upper boundaries of some animals overlap with the lower boundaries of humans.

>> No.44776820

>>44776791
That's fair.

Point being though Aunn is very stupid.

>> No.44776846

>>44767645
Koakuma is a literal sex demon, so probably her.

>> No.44776856
File: 47 KB, 900x1050, __tatara_kogasa_touhou_drawn_by_formicid__5368e501bc45cb45ef46171f3c4ba000.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44776856

Probably just her
I would try my best to make her happy though

>> No.44776911

Step 1: tell Reimu I will give her money if she has sex with me
There are no more steps.

>> No.44777003

>>44774523
Stop acting like you're in a /v/hu thread and we're cool.

>> No.44778545

No. I have terrible social skills and i have nothing to talk about that isnt extremely autistic.

Imagine if i suddenly began talking to a 2hu about shit she and anyone else wouldnt care about? She would think im retarded or heavily autistic

>> No.44778644

>>44778545
You can just talk about what life in the outside world is like. Talking to a 2hu is probably easier than talking to a girl from this world.

>> No.44778688
File: 2.14 MB, 2894x4023, Shizuha 3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44778688

>>44767645
lie to her you will become her devout follower if she agrees. You can even made up some bullshit about how this is the common way gods bond with humans in the outside world or something like that.

>> No.44778712

>>44774523
I'm not gonna forgive you if you're still going to ruin this board.
If you're truly sorry, then listen to what you're told. Leave, and only come back after you grow out of your shitposting phase.

>> No.44778781
File: 745 KB, 800x1151, __fujiwara_no_mokou_touhou_and_1_more_drawn_by_namidame__f93906a6d93dfe88fe38e898f004a92b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44778781

Fujiwara no Mokussy

>> No.44781957

Ran...

>> No.44782268

>>44778545
Seriously, if women think you're hot they'll listen to anything you infodump on them. I'm autistic as fuck and I had sex after ~an hour of basically lecturing a woman on Warhammer lore.

>> No.44782305

>>44782268
Enthusiasm is genuinely a universally attractive trait. People tend to enjoy being around positive and pleasant people, and as long as they aren't annoying about it, most enjoy listening to someone they get along with talk about something they enjoy.

>> No.44782313

>>44782268
I do this but with small arms development and let me tell you it does not work as well as you say.

>> No.44784970

>>44767976
When you put it that way then it's Shion.
At least I know what she wants and my luck isn't getting any worse.

>> No.44785004

>>44782305
Well, but there's a careful balancing act between being confident and enthusastic or being autistic

>> No.44790835

>>44785004
I can do neither.

Well, maybe it would go better with others

>> No.44790982

>>44785004
That balancing act is pretty easily addressed by paying attention to whether the person listening is put off or not.

>> No.44791046

>>44790982
I don't think autists are well known for reading social cues, especially when it comes to "is this person actually interested, or just pretending out of politeness?"

>> No.44791160

>>44767976
Sanae should be in a tier above this, you just have to donate enough. All three Prismriver sisters at once is one I've never considered possible before but I'm intrigued now. Reisen might be a yes if you can convince Eirin there's some benefit for her medical research or to develop better love potions in letting you do it with Reisen. Okuu is too much of a bird brain to understand what she's agreeing to but also might respond well to unfamiliar feelings and follow up so I'd change her category. Aya would refuse, but probably try and bait you into doing it with another tengu while she watches or takes pictures to sell the story. Murasa would drown you before you even get the chance to do anything with her. Yuugi might agree if you can impress her somehow or trick her into it. Orin would refuse or agree but only if you agree to donate your body to her when you die. Rumia looks like asking for a very violent end. Flan looks like an option for suicidal lolicons that want to 'play' with a cute loli girl, clueless that 'play' means getting their limbs and bones exploded for the amusement of said girl.

>> No.44791583

>>44791160
nah

>> No.44795427

Sex with the Remi, the Satori and the Sanae

>> No.44795858

sex between everyone here

>> No.44798432

>>44795858
I would win

>> No.44798481

>>44795858
Why do you want sex with everyone here

>> No.44798809

>>44795858
Sounds gay anon. What are you, a fag?

>> No.44799170

>>44798432
I am fat, balding and hairy. All the doujin rules indicates i would be the one to win here.

>> No.44799321

>>44798809
Wtf don't you want sex with everyone here anon? pretty gay of you

>> No.44803902

>>44799170
how did you gain these powers

>> No.44803957

>>44799321
I will have sex with you and only you

And you will be my 2hu

>> No.44814017

all of them.. at once.. including rinnosuke.
but i would reject junko.
just don't like her.

>>
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