[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ]
2022-11: Warosu is now out of maintenance.
2023-08: Search exclusion terms should be working again.
2023-08: Some posts were not showing up due to incorrect caching responses. This is now fixed.

/jp/ - Otaku Culture

View post   

File: 428 KB, 850x670, IMG_1544.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
44681092 No.44681092 [Reply] [Original]

First, you say NO! Then, you get outta there!

>> No.44681100
File: 568 KB, 990x2090, 111801574_p1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.44681102
File: 183 KB, 850x816, __yakumo_yukari_saigyouji_yuyuko_kazami_yuuka_hijiri_byakuren_yasaka_kanako_and_4_more_touhou_and_1_more_drawn_by_infinity_slope__sample-b571d2cc8fa56e182712542ba142940f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

And then you get me!
I will say yes. Yukari.

>> No.44681114
File: 75 KB, 850x1134, Wife.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Cute and Lovely

>> No.44681131
File: 192 KB, 850x1206, Yuugi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yuugi is a hag now? Always has been?

>> No.44681146
File: 624 KB, 800x1100, Watatsuki.no.Toyohime.full.1951000.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

She might have the age and body for it, but she doesn't have the energy.

>> No.44681154

>Say "No"
>Get out
>Get gapped and dropped into the same spot with the hags leading closer everytime
Accept the old ladies, anon

>> No.44681163

nee-san vibes at best. so nope.

>> No.44681173
File: 59 KB, 512x512, 1688661126943306.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

As a young boy between the ages of 12 and 15, which big sisters should I avoid at all cost and which are safe?

>> No.44681189
File: 380 KB, 1030x722, a5612e77519ecbddb490e8a7191357cc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Be sure to celebrate Respect for the Aged Day.

>> No.44681198
File: 1.02 MB, 982x825, Yukari vs. Eirin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Pick a side /jp/

>> No.44681211
File: 1.62 MB, 1800x2200, __yagokoro_eirin_touhou_drawn_by_azibuda__dfef4cb188b6914a6f028ce264ebb73a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The gap granny is nice, but Eirin manages to be passively sexxo.
I'm going to have to go with the lunatic 2hu.

>> No.44681218

Psycopathic woman or psycopathic woman? I could make marry both

>> No.44681220

Yuugi is NOT a hag!

>> No.44681226

I prefer Yuk

>> No.44681233

Childhood is wanting Yukari.
Adulthood is realizing Eirin's hag score is unreachable to her competitors.

>> No.44681242

Consider side benefits: Mofu or bnuy

>> No.44681255

I must go with Yukari. I like her overall style more.

>> No.44681262

I never noticed it before but Yukari's tabard look wet at the crotch in this pic

>> No.44681263
File: 586 KB, 1004x990, welikeswomen.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

God I wish. But such classy and refined ladies deserve monogamy.

>> No.44681287
File: 145 KB, 850x1202, Eirin (2).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Eirinbros... You guys make me so proud of being an EIrinfag, we are the best!

>> No.44681293

I am a slave to hags
I will cling to a hag and never let go
I will give a hag all of my love, forever
I will smooch a hag silly
I will make the biggest, happiest family with a hag

>> No.44681296
File: 208 KB, 1140x1663, __kazami_yuuka_touhou_drawn_by_iganashi1__4433d7095376a16143ed2fba85998d6b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Between psycopathic and psychotic, I gotta go with psychotic I'm afraid.
There is something deeply wrong with me.

>> No.44681301
File: 42 KB, 319x326, IMG_1670.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Seiga is the kind of woman to make tea using her pubic hair and make the man she loves drink it. What a psycho.

>> No.44681307

Gotta go with Yuuka. I like her brand of psycho more than Eirin.

>> No.44681310
File: 144 KB, 1064x798, suspicioustea.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44681313
File: 142 KB, 850x1567, Eirin (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

As an Eirinfag, I respect your tastes, especially if you have such good taste to select Yuukarin

>> No.44681317
File: 213 KB, 850x1202, __kaku_seiga_touhou_drawn_by_kamenozoki_momomo__sample-31353f220f3e4a18274df84a42512369.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Miss Nyan-Nyan is the forbidden hag. No one talks about her during the meetings.

>> No.44681322

In my country old people believed that if a woman used her panties as a coffee filter it would make a love potion that would make the man who drinks it fall in love with you.

>> No.44681324
File: 146 KB, 850x1202, schoolyuuka.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

We aren't so different, you and I.
Except I am more legitimately unhinged

>> No.44681331

Boy I'm sure glad only Yakuri kidnaps people from the outside world and not Okina too, right? Haha... It'd be terrible if a door suddenly opened up behind me and she stepped out haha. Sure glad she doesn't do that.

>> No.44681332
File: 107 KB, 245x366, 1688611013149254.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>old people

>> No.44681333

Make direct eye contact with her as I drink it, knowing that I made her pube tea of my own.

>> No.44681340

Have you ever been locked up?

>> No.44681344

Hey buddy, I think you got the wrong door. The larping old man thread is two pages down.

>> No.44681347
File: 136 KB, 850x398, Hags.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Doesn't sound like a bad idea, your country's people must have been intelligent back then

>> No.44681349
File: 64 KB, 850x650, __kaku_seiga_touhou_drawn_by_formicid__4d3dc83466a8b322c01b4cb03ed3b8ce.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Nyan-Nyan has been removed from the council for pretending to be something unforgiveable; Sixteen years of age.

>> No.44681356

How do I convince a 2hag that I love her and want her to cuddle me to sleep every night?

>> No.44681357

her cheery temperament is very atypical for hag-types, allowing her to slip under the radar as an aunt class

>> No.44681364

This was meant for >>44681322

>> No.44681365

name your country. i dare you.

>> No.44681375
File: 1.92 MB, 1447x2039, __kazami_yuuka_touhou_drawn_by_mokouze__d871969a98ca6164b4aed0cf21dd58aa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

No, but sometimes I wonder how not.

>> No.44681378
File: 207 KB, 849x1200, Eirin (3).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Who is the Lingerie Hag? The best looking one?

>> No.44681382
File: 446 KB, 960x1280, 3ffc311fd49430db12eebff9efe5a8e0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Consider that Kanako is the only hag that you can fully trust!

>> No.44681389
File: 931 KB, 627x886, yuukaaah.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The more Eirin and Yuuka get posted, the more I start to think they're part of the sociopath-subspecies of hag enjoyer.

>> No.44681394
File: 124 KB, 850x850, __kaku_seiga_touhou_drawn_by_miata_miata8674__sample-0730b70c3403a869a27e8b2eee350fe5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Miss Nyan-Nyan is banned from the council for the following reasons:
>Preying on shotas after her quota has been met
>Changing the therapeutic massage chairs to high setting
>Hiding the yoga VHS tapes
>Not enjoying red wine
>Having a child of her own
>Maliciously moving her mouth without talking to trick fellow women into believing their hearing aid broke
>Switching prescription glasses
>Using modern lingo
>And many more!

>> No.44681395

They are older and drink booze so the fairies are older sisters in spirit.
All of them are safe except Star Sapphire and maybe Clownpiece. The latter is just a health and safety hazard though.
This. Eirin does things to me but I want to eventually die.

>> No.44681401

Hags are disgusting because most of them are centuries old and god knows how many men they've preyed on like cougars. Fucking them would feel nasty. They also smell bad as well. And they're fat, their bodies are misshapen with fat rolls and downright ugly as sin. Nasty whores, the lot of them. This is why I prefer Fairies, who are all virginal treats waiting to be unwrapped. I would never touch an ugly old hag.

>> No.44681402

What is the most unhinged thing you have ever done?

>> No.44681409
File: 2.37 MB, 1800x2000, IMG_1701.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

To quote another Anon, your backdoor can never be safe from Okina.

>> No.44681412

What is the normal hag enjoyer like in comparison?

>> No.44681416
File: 53 KB, 932x283, Eirin Love.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Tell me the truth /jp/
You want to be kidnapped by your Hag
Be cared for by your Hag
Get caught by your Hag
Be kept and fed by your Hag
And NEVER be able to escape

>> No.44681417

Brazil. There is also some pagan religions here that came from the african slaves and these people still believe that. My mom was friend with a woman who did this "potion" with a dude. It did not work so she got pregnant to trap him. Oh and she also sacrificed a kitten we gave her to her religion, they also sacrifice chickens and lambs.

>> No.44681420

There are two types of hang enjoyers: mommy issues havers and deranged fellows.

>> No.44681427

Hags are amazing because most of them are centuries old and god knows how many men they've amateurishly preyed on like cougars. Fucking them would feel like shooting up on heroin. They also smell erotic as well. And they're mature, their bodies are perfectly toned with youkai muscle and training, enough to make any man a sinner. Perfect wives, the lot of them. This is why I am disgusted by Fairies, who are all stupid little girls waiting to be spanked. I would kill to touch a beatiful lady like that.

>> No.44681432

>she also sacrificed a kitten we gave her to her religion, they also sacrifice chickens and lambs.
...Anon don't you think she was a psycho or something?

>> No.44681443

Yes, I want to be a hags love toy/pet and evolve beyond it by showering her with love

>> No.44681444
File: 83 KB, 850x590, __matara_okina_touhou_drawn_by_blast_7__sample-48e71af90408ef303fcb30ffbebcf411.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

What if I'm into that? Will she stop at something reasonable or take a mile?

>> No.44681452
File: 139 KB, 1038x859, heycirno.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I used to fantasize about axe murder. Then I left school.
Now it's just a sometimes thing.

>> No.44681462

Obviously we had no idea what she was going to do with the poor cat lol.

>> No.44681470

>30% Eirinfags
>20% Okinafags
>30% Yuukafags
>20% Others

Wow, Yuuka and Eirin are the Ladies in this thread!
Also, Eirinfags woke up or something? HAHA

>> No.44681485

Its weekday, so Yukarifags are too busy making millions on their successfull full time jobs.

>> No.44681488
File: 351 KB, 2000x2000, 1688714970666255.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>deranged fellows.
He's right!

>> No.44681494
File: 74 KB, 698x1024, rawsexxo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm pretty sure it's mostly me and some other guy bumping up Yuuka and Eirin's count in turns.

>> No.44681503

I always liked to think that Yuukafags are all gardeners, Eirinfags doctors and surgeons, Okinafags ????, and that Yukarifags work at Black Mesa.

>> No.44681507
File: 452 KB, 752x944, smokeka.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Does the man choose the hag, or the hag choose him?
The void is silent, for it does not know.

>> No.44681510

Damn! Yuuka is this sexy?!

>> No.44681529
File: 174 KB, 850x1391, Yukari.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Imagine you get gapped into Gensokyo, you're conquering a hag, and Yukari/Eirin/Yuuka notice you, fall for you and do Yandere things.

>> No.44681555
File: 153 KB, 850x691, ohno.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Always has been.
But if you can't handle her at her most deranged, do you really deserve her at all?

I want to watch Yuuka use fairies as target practice for her master sparks.
I want to join in with a shotgun.
I want to have fun traumatizing the stupid little idiots by killing them over and over again until they learn true fear.
They can't die, so no real harm will have been done.

>> No.44681575

They will quickly come to regret their decision once they realize that I can't handle love in a healthy manner.

>> No.44681580

Neither can they, so it works out

>> No.44681616

Why is this thread going so fucking fast? Did I miss something?

>> No.44681624

People are weirdly horny for old women for some reason.

>> No.44681650

Why is Yuuka crying?

>> No.44681660

Her lover is being mean to her.

>> No.44681721
File: 338 KB, 1900x2533, FjJVhU1UYAA9oe9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

It's Respect for the Aged Day. It's like in HSiFS where everyone was getting juiced up by doors on their backs and they didn't realize it, but for hagfags.

>> No.44682041
File: 3.82 MB, 1918x1067, __yakumo_yukari_saigyouji_yuyuko_hijiri_byakuren_yasaka_kanako_and_yagokoro_eirin_touhou_drawn_by_iroyopon__cea2e84c6617bf71d6d3b949504db00f.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

For me the main hags or BBAs will always be these five. I don't count Yuugi, Yuuka, Seiga, Kasen and other similiar 2hus because they are stand-alone characters and doesn't exude the same feel of being maternal figure to a group/faction like the five, so I see them as aunties instead.
Junko and Okina are strong BBA candidates, but I'm not sure how to place them. The original BBAs already have perfect dynamic: You have a shady hag, a cute hag, a cold educated hag, an arrogant overbearing hag and kind benevolent hag. Besides Junko and Okina are Yukari's copy design-wise and Okina's personality is a mix of Yukari and Kanako.

>> No.44682054

There is also the extremely rare third kind, that rather than wanting to be pampered by their hag, wants to spoil their hag completely rotten until she reached a tier 15 charisma break.

>> No.44682060

I want the attention to be mutual. To pamper and pamper back.

>> No.44682070

It's a bit odd to consider Byakuren a hag when she primarily has onee-san energy, but count out Kasen. I'd even make a case for the bondage blonde, to that end.

>> No.44682100

such blasphemy
good thing she was removed

>> No.44682106

I consider maternal figure in important part of being hag because it's a shared trait with the rest. Byakuren has Myouren temple.
Kasen may also act as Reimu's mother figure at times but she lives separately most of the time and doesn't direct the Hakurei Shrine.

>> No.44682107

I never really thought of any of them as hags, not even when I got into Touhou many years ago and definitely not know that I am a geezer myself.

>> No.44682123
File: 57 KB, 478x478, IMG_1101.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

That's literally me.

>> No.44682132
File: 174 KB, 1400x1050, 1a553260d2462ad00d5d116c2d086ae4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Well, then that becomes the issue that really only Kanako, Byakuren, and MAYBE Eirin really act in that much of a maternal way at all. I don't think hag energy is something that can be encapsulated in any singular trait. You just know in your heart when a given hu is a haghu

>> No.44682163

Byakuren is so evil.

>> No.44682187

out of ten!

>> No.44682204
File: 120 KB, 635x377, IMG_1401.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

She's a hypocrite! And a hag! A hagpocrite if you will.

>> No.44682205

I hate Byakuren so much.

>> No.44682240
File: 1.53 MB, 1920x1080, __yakumo_yukari_saigyouji_yuyuko_hijiri_byakuren_yasaka_kanako_and_yagokoro_eirin_touhou_drawn_by_melopun__0e388a79de19776fc1c096bf1db799ad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Well, then that becomes the issue that really only Kanako, Byakuren, and MAYBE Eirin really act in that much of a maternal way at all.
Yukari has Ran and Chen and she rules the whole Gensokyo as a sage, and Yuyuko rules the netherworld while being mother figure to Youmu.

>You just know in your heart when a given hu is a haghu
Well I agree. I guess I'm speaking more about the dynamic that exist once they are grouped together. That's why I'm talking about BBA (The Old Maid Alliance) specifically.
There are a lot of hags in Gensokyo for sure, but the BBAs are the ones that is fun to imagine interacting and act as group and representation/embodiment of all hags, while the other hags are better as standalone.
It'd feel off if Urumi and Eirin stand next to each other, for example.

>> No.44682286

>Yukari has Ran and Chen and she rules the whole Gensokyo as a sage, and Yuyuko rules the netherworld while being mother figure to Youmu.
Yuyuko has bits and pieces of that here and there, but I'm really not sure I'd liken her to a mother figure. As for the Yakumo's, Ran seems to have more maternal qualities than Yukari, whose two main pastimes are sleeping, and autistically harassing people if she feels like she's being left out of things (and then wondering why nobody invites her to their parties.)

>> No.44682340
File: 529 KB, 800x600, __kochiya_sanae_konpaku_youmu_yakumo_yukari_reisen_udongein_inaba_saigyouji_yuyuko_and_5_more_touhou_drawn_by_ekus_xo_ekus__79b41be978831b8c308a300eb8d048c3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Well instead of maternal I should've said "leadership" I guess.
I know a lot of them would make for horrible mothers.

>> No.44682354
File: 697 KB, 800x800, __yakumo_yukari_saigyouji_yuyuko_hijiri_byakuren_yasaka_kanako_and_yagokoro_eirin_touhou_drawn_by_wancozow__f9bf0f6d2c54e48eff7fad5523ae3367.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.44682357

If you just invited Yukari to your parties she wouldn't mess with you quite as much.

>> No.44682359
File: 91 KB, 850x1020, IMG_1537.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The best thing about hags is how easily it is to charisma break them despite how smug and flirty they act.

>> No.44682533

Eirin, all day every day. Fuck Yukari.
Hi Miko.

>> No.44682553 [DELETED] 
File: 36 KB, 411x747, images (1).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Imagine liking Troonhou.

>> No.44682567

Whats the shota-preying quota for each hag? (And how does each hag prey after shotas?)

>> No.44682609

3/day. If you exceed this Yukari makes your gap close up until you learn your lesson.

>> No.44682718

So /jp/ which hag would want me for who i am not for my body? I turn 20 next year i am middle aged already basically.

>> No.44682782
File: 737 KB, 950x1344, 1681021804136258.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

To be quite honest I don't think your age is a problem. They all have ways to circumvent that. Yukari fucks with your life's boundaries, Yuyuko just kills you and keeps your ghost around, Eirin gives you the existential dread elixir, Byakuren uses the same magic she used on herself on you, and Kanako is a god and binds you to her. As for your question I think Kanako is your best bet.

>> No.44682790
File: 184 KB, 850x1200, IMG_1817.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Kanako is the most truthful hag, not because she is honest, but because she is terrible at lying.

>> No.44682813

Yukari is also the most truthful young lady because she never tells lies!

>> No.44682855

t. Ran

>> No.44682878

You are fortunate, I am already a geezer myself and would have to find one who is not particularly into young people specifically.

>> No.44682931

Your best bet of finding love in Gensokyo would be young girls with father issues (Reimu for example). I don't think the hags like older men.

>> No.44682941

I'd say Marisa definitely has daddy issues, way more than Reimu.

>> No.44682978


>> No.44683240

Which girl looks the best here, /jp/?

>> No.44683268

I like the way Yuyuko is drawn best.

>> No.44683320
File: 1.77 MB, 1344x1446, 1695109024816.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Can the new hag crack the top 50 of the popularity poll lads?

>> No.44683345

Everyone is a hag now?

>> No.44683352

That's not a hag.

>> No.44683464

That's just a fashionable young lady.

>> No.44683565
File: 153 KB, 850x1189, IMG_1706.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Thoughts on this hag?

>> No.44683625


>> No.44683629

I LOVE the tanuki!

>> No.44683723
File: 122 KB, 850x1415, IMG_1695.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I wish old women was this hot in real life instead of being snarky gossiping bitches (That said, the 2hags are probably snarky gossipy bitches as well)

>> No.44683742

I want to cum inside Eirin after all of /jp/ has had a turn in her.

>> No.44684342

These gals look like they have mountains of romantoc experience I should really ask them for help on how to ask Kogasa out for a date.

>> No.44684388
File: 1.17 MB, 2059x2174, __yasaka_kanako_touhou_drawn_by_bura__63aadac3679ea1fbf8cb811e0ffaa294.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

... Totally!
That's EXACTLY correct! D-don't ask for any details though, they're all so swamped in suitors that they can't keep track of them all

>> No.44684401

I see you're a fellow connoisseur of hag-committed reverse rape as well, Anon.

>> No.44685660

I wonder if they target village shotas or outside world ones.

>> No.44685731
File: 1010 KB, 847x1200, __yakumo_ran_touhou_drawn_by_koyubi_littlefinger1988__3093d01ae8b11363bdd7558cfa58de6e (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Does the fox count?
I bet out of all these older women she would make the best wife

>> No.44685860

I'm thinking 40s
that's about where tsukasa debuted at and hisami is as sexo as her but with even less actual cahracter

>> No.44686299

>side benefits
Ran and Chen vs Reisen, Tewi, Kaguya, Yorihime, Toyohime and all the other rabbits in Eientei...

>> No.44686341

Where is that picture from?

>> No.44686416

That comic about Reimu's nose blood and the holy grail I think.

>> No.44686494


>> No.44686812
File: 1.09 MB, 1719x1081, 1689975802766289.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

From what I can gather, there are two distinct hag types: apex cougar and eternal virgin.
Which one does your preferred hag fall into?

>> No.44686817

Eternal virgin.

>> No.44686864
File: 3.41 MB, 382x367, twirl.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Oppertunity killer.

>> No.44687040
File: 776 KB, 800x1100, IMG_1231.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Which one is Byakuren?

>> No.44687064
File: 147 KB, 850x637, __hijiri_byakuren_touhou_drawn_by_miuku_marine_sapphire__sample-38be2366c0b22b789ef065e2d89428ee.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Do you even have to ask?

>> No.44687073
File: 564 KB, 848x431, 1672108962261406.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

the one who thinks she's hot shit but is actually easily flustered so probably the latter.

>> No.44687086

Honestly I can see arguments for both sides

>> No.44687128
File: 129 KB, 850x1202, __kirisame_marisa_touhou_drawn_by_john_a2556349__sample-928d1da53c691a13047a6c0ea2de50d8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

She's a witch Anon. You know what word rhymes with witches and I'm not talking about stiches or snitches.

>> No.44687135


>> No.44687164
File: 47 KB, 479x555, 1688621202697007.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44687168
File: 324 KB, 600x600, 965874568.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Maliciously moving her mouth without talking to trick fellow women into believing their hearing aid broke

>> No.44687184
File: 303 KB, 1448x2048, 697f517839b89e7a4928781d9c0eb88e.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44687212

Which hag (besides Seiga and Yuuka) would beat you up and torture you for fun?

>> No.44687232
File: 14 KB, 500x500, 97144970_p0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44687233

Eirin would do experiment in you

>> No.44687251
File: 91 KB, 850x680, Pick one.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Hey /jp/

>> No.44687253

Here's a hot take. Byakuren doesn't belong on the hag-type, rather the big sister-type with characters like Kasen.

>> No.44687383

Hi guys, how's Gensokyo been doing?

>> No.44687408

Anons, I require your sexiest Byakuren art.

>> No.44687413

Lukewarm take at worst. If it weren't for the BBA Alliance meme she wouldn't be referred to as a hag any more than Kasen, Yuugi, and Toyohime.

>> No.44687545
File: 17 KB, 380x274, IMG_1847.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44687600

Imagine getting sliced open on Eirin's examination table and organ harvested for your human organs she uses to make some specific kinds of medicine, she wouldn't even care because she's a merciless Lunarian who views your human life as less significant than an ant and she feels nothing even as you squirm in the bindings and give deathly moans through your gag because she didn't use anasthetics. You'd just be a piece of meat to her, one she gets to cut up and dissect carefully, and she gets away with it because you're an outsider anyway. She'd just dispose of the rest of you in her cremator or by throwing your corpse out for the Youkai afterwards and she wouldn't even remember you haha.

>> No.44687614

I am going to go against the trend and say that I would prefer that not to happen to me

>> No.44687660
File: 2.16 MB, 2121x1500, 14074271f017a9f642009d3654b08e6e.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I pick Gappy

>> No.44687702

Well it would happen to you if you went to Eientei. Outsider organs would be valuable. They're hard to come by for Eirin since most of them end up in Youkai gullets anyway. Eirin would have a need to perform transplant surgeries too and she can't just go slaughtering villagers for them, many of them might not be willing to donate either. So outsider organs would be highly sought after by Eirin, she would act fast to get you if she noticed you being an outsider. She'd use any means she can to get you comfy and relaxed and wanting to stay at Eientei, getting chummy with you or even seduction if need be. And as soon as she manages to get you to drink down or eat something she spiked and you're out cold, she'd take you to her clinic rooms and begin preparing you for the harvest. She'd tell you you're so kind for being a donor to her business before she begins slicing you with a scalpel. She never saw you as an intelligent lifeform in the first place, to a Lunarian like her who has transcended humanity, normals like you are just subhumans. Bacteria basically.

Eirin is so much more meaner than everyone thinks she is!

>> No.44687747

That sounds like a you problem. I went to Eientei once and miss Yagokoro swooned over me like some sort of lovestruck schoolgirl who has never seen a man before! I didn't revisit though, I prefer having medical examinations with doctors that act professional.

>> No.44687756

Come on, Yukari. Wanting to win the annual hag popularity contest is one thing, but making false accusations of your opponent for it? Shame on you.

>> No.44687861

Well I sure am glad I'm a Junko fan instead. Junko wouldn't do anything horrible to me.

>> No.44687867

This but hourai'd (forcebly) beforehand so that Eirin can get an endless supply of human organs in top condition. Eirin would just keep the human locked up out of view as a literal meatbag if she really needs outsider organs that badly.
Also lovey-dovey sex and aftercare after each harvest. She has needs too.

>> No.44687921

That sounds even more fucking horrific. No amount of sex would heal the trauma that this would inflict onto you, on top of the fact she'd have to rape you since you'd reject her advances out of hatred anyway. You'd be a completely mindbroken mess and go through the same downward spiral that people who get Alzheimers and Schiziphrenia go through slowly losing touch with reality. You're just making Eirin sound more and more evil by the second.

>> No.44687936
File: 542 KB, 707x1000, __yagokoro_eirin_touhou_drawn_by_kitazawa3__8f6dc89b3e74386a22429d06a36de499.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>she'd have to rape you since you'd reject her advances out of hatred anyway.
I would consider this deal a fair trade anon.
Eventually I will toughen up beyond the point where I can feel pain, and use my now limitless stamina to subjugate all of Gensokyo.
Even Mokou.

>> No.44688018

>You'd reject her advances out of hatred anyway
All Eirin would have to do is say something remotely positive once to me once and I'd do whatever she wanted. The reverse """""rape""""" is a bonus on top of consistent contact with someone else. Even if it is through a scalpel. Besides, you'd get used to the feeling of missing organs after a while. They'd grow back anyways so why cry over spilt milk?

>> No.44688025

Eirin will act like a mad scientist on you.
Yuuka will abuse you.
Yuyuko will slave drive you.
Yukari will possess you obsessively or just eat you.
Byakuren will indoctrinate you.
Okina will strip your free will.
Toyohime wouldn't even look at you for being impure.
Seiga would do unspeakable things to you.
Junko would butcher you for reviving the trauma of losing her family trying to seduce her and become a new one because the point to her existence is only pure hatred now.
All hags are evil and would do evil things to you.
Only Kanako would act somewhat normal and treat you humanely.

>> No.44688051
File: 250 KB, 850x1198, __hakurei_reimu_yakumo_yukari_yakumo_ran_chen_toutetsu_yuuma_and_1_more_touhou_drawn_by_masanaga_tsukasa__sample-07c1bcca1d3a4e8687a10c3a8c581276.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

she's wife material

wouldnt mind my offspring all be born with a fox tail

>> No.44688073

>Only Kanako
She'd use you in one of her many harebrained schemes to garner faith, and in reality would probably be no better than Eirin.

>> No.44688108

Out of all of them Kanako is the only one who wouldn't just kill you on a whim for little to no reason or kill you because she thinks it's funny or enjoys it like a sadist such as Yuuka would, especially if you're actively supporting her and not trying to work against the Moriya Shrine in anyway. If you were on her side she'd have every reason to treat you as one of her own and she would get better in time.

Doing some Team Rocket shenanigans and goon work for her in the meantime until she's head over heels for you isn't that bad. So yes, she's leagues better than the rest.

>> No.44688119
File: 166 KB, 850x1259, oyakodon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>wouldnt mind my offspring all be born with a fox tail
Another anon got foxxed and flushed his genes down the drain.

>> No.44688128

Hi Kanako

>> No.44688130
File: 395 KB, 566x1054, help.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>a sadist such as Yuuka
Now now anon, we both know that that is wildly exaggerated.
You'd actually have to piss Yuuka off to see that side of her turned against you!

>> No.44688136

toutetsu would murder you for daring to defile HER ran

>> No.44688153

she shoulda been around for the past 1000 years

now she's a happy wife married to the outsider human

idk about the gap hag though, maybe she also uses you as a boytoy when you're not busy with ran or something

>> No.44688162
File: 589 KB, 800x900, 1685728538836995.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

All of this is hot.
Emotionless sex to see how you react!
Selfish sex purely for her pleasure!
Clingy sex to make sure you never leave!
Purely procreative obligation sex!
Dominant sex to remind you of your place!
Neglectful tsundere sex to vent her repressed urges!
Degenerate sects that you will never forget!
Hate sex that blurs the lines between lust and bloodlust!
Evil sex that no human can resist!
Normal sex for mutual pleasure!

>> No.44688181
File: 195 KB, 2000x2000, Mzmjk.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Well, are you brave enough, anon?

>> No.44688190

Am I supposed to cum on the hat...?
Is that where the 2hu is stored...?

>> No.44688197

Those eyes
They command me
I will, I am not brave but I am lusty.

>> No.44688207

>act somewhat normal and treat you humanely
where's the fun in that?

>> No.44688224
File: 185 KB, 340x516, chrome_MZNleWbX62.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

making the hag feel attractive like she is!
having her enjoy feeling loved by You!
correcting her evil ways through love!

>> No.44689495

Most of these hags are still virgins because their evil personalities and ways scare men off and they also treat people horrible. Imagine how many attempts at courting failed on them before. You would be no different. You wouldn't get far before they snap and make you want to leave.

>> No.44689507
File: 166 KB, 850x956, flowerwife.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Good thing the only thing I want in life is flower wife.
I would move heaven and earth for her.

>> No.44689564

Akyuu is really running full damage control in this thread, huh? I'd even go as far as saying Kosuzu might be in on it.

>> No.44689611

It takes an evil man to love an evil woman.

>> No.44689825

A lesser man would give up. I am no lesser man.

>> No.44689883

Hags deserve snuggle correction

>> No.44689893

One hag, Two hag, Red hag, Blue hag.
Black hag, Blue hag, Old hag, New hag.

>> No.44690191
File: 990 KB, 850x1202, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Does sensei count?

>> No.44690241

gap hands typed this post.

>> No.44690454

I would reject a hag and leave her single.

>> No.44690459
File: 182 KB, 584x310, itsnotfair.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44690485

If you think about it, Kanako is the best hag. Yukari and Okina are little shits who'll manipulate and abuse you. Eirin is a serial killer and potential yandere. But Kanako is a nice woman who cares about all her worshippers and only manipulates to improve the lot of everyone in Gensokyo. Alsk for a limited time only the Moriya Shrine is offering discounts on all sales!

>> No.44690945

This post was brought to you by the Moriya Shrine™.

>> No.44690962
File: 303 KB, 2048x1232, __kochiya_sanae_moriya_suwako_and_yasaka_kanako_touhou_drawn_by_miz_mizillustration__508411f1bb4c00f37c5305f0b3b410e3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Kanako is the best hag because she has all the upsides with few of the downsides. With Kanako you can have your cake and eat it too!

>> No.44690977

Kanako is your highest survivability choice, so of course she's automatically the best.

>> No.44690981

I’d honestly feel bad for Yukari if she started crying like this.
Even though a more knowledgeable part of suspects she’s faking it.

>> No.44690982

Kanako was made to be cucked by Suwako.

>> No.44690991

What about Byakuren? She seems nice, and doesn't act so prideful all the time.

>> No.44691007
File: 112 KB, 850x1202, We like sociopathic women.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Eirin is a serial killer and potential yandere
That's hot

>> No.44691025
File: 30 KB, 300x403, 21b0e617b1cf5914629ce7b66c2bca81.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>"Oh, you're from the Outside, is that right? Mm, you have such a well maintained body, anon, I bet your organs must be first-rate! You must work on your cardio a lot too, I imagine your heart works really well. They would all look so nice in an ice box too I bet, hahahaha... Lots of other Outsiders must have sought hard after your body parts and so that's why you came here to Gensokyo to get away from them. Well, you have nothing to fear. Say, how about I serve you some tea? My treat for my guest! Ahahaha!"

And that's why I never went back to Eientei again. They're right, Eirin is a fucking PSYCHOPATH.

>> No.44691026

I would never touch a woman other than Kanako! My heart belongs to her!

>> No.44691082 [DELETED] 

Go touch grass, tranime fan!

>> No.44691315

Yukari and Eirin both fighting over who gets to claim you, Yukari wants to eat you because you're a delicious outsider and Eirin wants to harvest your organs. Who will nab you while they're both preoccupied?

>> No.44691318

I roll for seduction

>> No.44691896

Touch dick faggot

>> No.44692365
File: 1.49 MB, 1200x1600, eirin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Eirin, inarguably.

>> No.44692390

Jokes on her! My poor diet, lack of exercise and the microplastics and other toxins in my body makes my organs useless!

>> No.44692445
File: 857 KB, 1196x1850, __iizunamaru_megumu_touhou_drawn_by_raptor7__acb9bfbaddce9bd7965f362955cbca76.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Are you ready to say goodbye to your life as a free human and become the property of a high ranking tengu hag? Yes, you will get to enjoy the Megaton Milkers to your heart's content. That is part of the deal.

>> No.44692490

What are the other perks of this arrangement?

>> No.44692584

Tubefox onahole

>> No.44692616

I guess these terms are acceptable.

>> No.44692633
File: 147 KB, 752x1062, __iizunamaru_megumu_touhou_drawn_by_jyaoh0731__0caa9b48d44445c6991659bf6c2705cb.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You get to live in her massive penthouse apartment too, which staffed with lower ranking tengu servants. Of course you aren't allowed to leave the premises unescorted but that's just for your own safety, don't worry about it.

>> No.44692669

I want to live between her massive saggers

>> No.44692743

This one, I like this hag.

>> No.44692841

No way, Megumu would probably torture my genitals just to see me squirmx I refuse!!!!

>> No.44692852

What you're telling me is that I get to live in a penthouse and have free bodyguards.

>> No.44693019
File: 1.71 MB, 2480x3508, 1693352393086075.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Human penis maintenance is an important part of the duties of any human-owning tengu. Refusal is not an option. Besides, there will be titty time afterwards to more than make up for any discomfort experienced during the procedures.

>> No.44693188
File: 529 KB, 2250x1691, 20230918_212432.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Hags should be small and very horny.

>> No.44693274

>2 meter tall tengus are the best

>> No.44693677

Remember that instead of letting hags treat you like a piece of meat, just get fat and they will loose all interest! Its easy!

>> No.44693710

That's impossible, she forces me to have intense sweaty sex for hours every day, I'm losing weight!

>> No.44693917
File: 709 KB, 1416x2000, __watatsuki_no_toyohime_touhou_drawn_by_hekkmushi__3eb3a9cd81b13f5d91ccc4fabe1c7e0c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Strongest hag!
>Purest hag!
>Has a husband (very rare trait among hags!)
>Has a (living)son (extremely rare among hags!)
>Has respect!
>Best hag!
How can others hope to compete? The Lunarians win again!

>> No.44694132
File: 232 KB, 1535x2048, 20230920_113451.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44694374

ain't gonna fuck no alien that's for sure

>> No.44694389
File: 150 KB, 850x1190, __watatsuki_no_toyohime_touhou_drawn_by_ruu_tksymkw__sample-541efab182a82a1b2ee924fb4bcd2d39.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Where's the husband froggy?

>> No.44694417

Honestly! We should lay off poor Kanako! How can we expect her to lose her virginity if any young man she brings is swooped by Sanae and all the mature fellows get seduced by THIS semen demon!
It's not her fault!

>> No.44694421

Putting on weight will make your penis appear smaller, which will just activate the hag's shota preying instincts.

>> No.44694529
File: 1.91 MB, 1800x2880, __iizunamaru_megumu_touhou_drawn_by_raptor7__5e859a786ca2c242661a99e52531dd08.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Imagine having a 2m tall daitengu wife with 25cm geta. You could enjoy the shade on a hot sunny day under the shadow of her breasts.

>> No.44694566

There is no creature in this world more erotic than a lolibaba.

>> No.44694718

Are you suggesting giant Megumu who is so much larger than you that you’re pretty much a little toy doll to her?

>> No.44694837

No, just like >>44694529 would be perfect

>> No.44694913

Yeah that’s pretty good too. I myself wouldn’t mind being smothered by house sized tengu titties but at 2 meters tall she can still do a nice job of engulfing you with her big breasts.

>> No.44695019

I bet Megumu would be extremely proud of owning you if you were the size of a little doll. It's not that uncommon at all for a high ranking tengu woman to be able to afford to obtain and house a regular pet human, but having a literal toy human is a major status symbol. She'd no doubt show you off to her tengu girl friends on a custom built necklace that'd rest on her massive chest, and have your cage put on a prominent spot for display in her own house.

>> No.44695526

That all makes sense to me. A tiny human isn’t exactly common so your rarity and uniqueness would make you a coveted “item” and status symbol for a powerful tengu to flaunt to her peers. Plus it would be even easier for a gigantic youkai like her to dominate you and showcase her power and supremacy. Nothing would say better that Megumu is in control than turning a grown man into a jewelry piece that haplessly bounces off of her huge boobs when she walks or flies or rests above or between her cleavage when she’s not moving much.
And this isn’t even getting into what that daitengu gets up to with you when she’s feeling… frisky and alone with you.

>> No.44695578

I want to unironically live in Eirin's bra.

>> No.44695600

This is unironically the most deppresing thread i've seen in my 7 years of using this website

>> No.44695616

This is unironically the most sexually arousing thread i've seen in my 7 years of using this website

>> No.44695668

Just her bra alone or with her big Lunarian boob as your “neighbor”?

>> No.44695678
File: 123 KB, 500x700, a93113d02372b87637a9812121561507b71342d5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The young miko probably barely knows how to boil rice while the lovely lady Eirin can make a full-course dinner

>> No.44695742

Because you wish haghus were real, right?

>> No.44695746
File: 1.84 MB, 2560x2173, 1649915615203.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You'd have to be pretty small for that.

>> No.44695868
File: 536 KB, 2508x3541, IMG_1852.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yuukafags want to fuck THIS???!

>> No.44695888
File: 32 KB, 819x832, stillwould.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Looks don't matter, although Yuukarin is pure lust, but I find her personality addictive.

>> No.44695962

Lurk moar newfag

>> No.44695973
File: 149 KB, 850x1214, __hakurei_reimu_touhou_drawn_by_kana_user_rkuc4823__sample-d8fa0a22bc3028a192623a92d9a47c58.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

All of these comments about hag being psychos and unfuckable have the unmistakable stench of a certain Miko

No, I don't care about what I you have to say, youkai, gods, lunarians and whatever other non hunan is within strike range.

>> No.44696027

holy projection batman!

>> No.44696077
File: 1.28 MB, 1100x1100, 1689032714362655.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

One of my favourite 2hu's!

>> No.44696101
File: 129 KB, 725x555, 1693459958356656.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I would hug her

>> No.44696105
File: 753 KB, 1200x849, 1585668663595.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

A body too lewd for /jp/.

>> No.44696109

That's adorable

>> No.44696237

From the thumbnail I thought this psycho bitch was holding a decapitated sin sacks head.

>> No.44696264
File: 141 KB, 600x600, Mamizou 7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You're the psycho bitch for thinking that

>> No.44696308

Mamizou is an ancient monster, it's only natural to assume the worst.

>> No.44696322

I’d probably give her a hug too just to try and cheer her up and comfort her.
Still a 50/50 chance Yukari is faking sadness to try and lure you in for whatever nefarious reasons OR she’s actually charisma broken and in desperate need of kindness.

>> No.44696332
File: 290 KB, 973x1200, Mamizou Yawn.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

She's an ancient qt

>> No.44696375

Mamizou committed ethnic cleansing.

>> No.44696394

They look 20 years old irl, especially Yuyuko.

>> No.44696424
File: 93 KB, 420x248, 1359638867205.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44696441
File: 458 KB, 180x180, Okina spaz out.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

tell how to get to gensokyo

>> No.44696445
File: 1.24 MB, 1440x1920, 1668614296971537.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You know.

>> No.44696629


>> No.44697220

Your biggest mistake is letting seduce by youkai. They will kill you and eat you without mercy, specially hags. They know nothing about love, so that's why always ended alone.

>> No.44697263
File: 757 KB, 1166x1127, youkussy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44697371


>> No.44697567

I am letting my hair grow just like that, is that the secret to fet a youkai wife?

>> No.44697734

No, the secret is to Keep going even if she bullies you until she associates you with good times

>> No.44697994
File: 113 KB, 714x1000, 1694579605489218.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

is yuuma a hag?

>> No.44698047

In a 1 to 10 scale considering these superhuman older women do fall in love with (You) how willing would they be to marry and build a family

>> No.44698108
File: 182 KB, 1086x1200, 1586723275312.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

A mountain hag wouldn't let something as rare as an unmarried man escape if she ever managed to find one of them in her territory. Once she decides that you're her husband now, it is too late for second thoughts.

>> No.44698190
File: 135 KB, 850x1226, IMG_1863.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yukari: The autistic gappy would be pretty unfit for being a mother, and probably wouldn't be very keen on having children at first. But with enough cuddling and pampering, you can convince her to change her mind. Gap youkais give birth in litters, so a minute of silence for Reimu.

Yuyuko: Delighted with the idea of having children and giving Youmu sisters, but she would be slightly put off when realizing how much her belly's gonna swell when she's pregnant. However, she instantly cheers up when realizing she's gonna get to eat twice as much every day! One of the easier hags to have children with.

Eirin: Wouldn't be unwelcoming of the idea of getting pregnant, and she knows how to keep her baby healthy. Most of the parenting's gonna be done by you and Reisen though, as Eirin is cold and busy with work. Don't leave Tewi and the baby alone in the same room.

Kanako: Somewhat experienced with raising children, but shy about the whole ordeal. Like Yuyuko, she's gonna be very self-conscious of her stretch marks and darkened nipples. Don't forget about the frog's relentless teasing on Kanako. I believe she will feel a massive surge of genuine happiness when she sees her child for the first

Byakuren: She's gonna be the one asking for a child. Byakuren is one of the most motherly 2hags, and she firmly believes that having a baby with a (You), a human male, will skyrocket human-youkai relationship acceptance rates in Gensokyo. Also, Byak strikes me as someone who will proudly breastfeed in public.

Junko: Reluctant since it reminds her of her late son, but with enough love, care, and reassurance, you'll be able to fill the missing hole in her heart by filling the hole in her womb.

Yuuka: ???

>> No.44698195

Don't threw your lifes for a pussy that you won't even had a chance

>> No.44698201

what did he mean by this???

>> No.44698209

Speak English.

>> No.44698257

Akyuu is so upset by the thread that her English is slipping.

>> No.44698276

What about hags who don't have a Hag like appearance?
Like Tewi and Suwako, since they're experienced mothers I imagine they'd be less shy, but they still have their own trauma and quirks.

>> No.44698297
File: 117 KB, 850x1189, IMG_1087.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I want Yukari to sit on me.

Human women be damned.

>> No.44698441

I like her cleaver. Do you think she would let me see it?

>> No.44698998

Yukari is so mean, she would constantly tease you and show you her cleavage and thighs and pinch your cheeks and stroke your head like you're her pet dog, but she wouldn't go to first base because secretly deep down she doesn't have the courage to and she'd turn into a nervous wreck trying to lose her maidenhood.

>> No.44699032

What would she do if the guy she was doing that to got tired of the games and started going after other women who are showing a healthier interest in him?

>> No.44699042

>>Has a husband
That's HAD. He ditched her when he saw her turn into a shark crocodile thing, which of course means he's less worthy of the princess hag than (Me).

>> No.44699073
File: 1018 KB, 1512x1512, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_boa_brianoa__53fe29f89466010dde1a8dfdc243d017.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

50/50 either cry herself to sleep every night for a decade while getting Ran to try and win him back somehow, or full yandere break mode where she kidnaps him and shoves him into a gap so he can't escape.

>> No.44699123
File: 109 KB, 330x473, 330px-Hikohohodemi_otokowa.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

To be fair, he didn't ditch her, she was just ashamed of her true scaly form and ran back to daddy. He could still return one day to reclaim her from (you).

>> No.44699262

Byakuren would not have sex with you.
Know who would? Miko. Miko would have sex with you as a way to increase her power. Byakuren wouldn't give you even a kiss.

>> No.44699285

I don't want to have sex with Byakuren, I just want to learn her magic so I too can never age be sexy forever,

>> No.44699339

That would require you to be sexy to begin with.

>> No.44699348

Because, as we all know, Byakuren abides strictly to her teachings and doesn't bend the rules to her benefit.

>> No.44699366 [SPOILER] 
File: 151 KB, 500x645, half-life-cover-art-but-with-2hus.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Shoved into a gap he can't escape from
The Lewd Gap of Yukari?
or à la Adrian Shepard in the end of HL:Opposing Force

>> No.44699391
File: 336 KB, 800x1119, __yakumo_yukari_and_yagokoro_eirin_touhou_and_2_more_drawn_by_ichidai_taisa__d7fbdecd8a9738aae2c9ec6d80705b0a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Rise and shine, miss Yakumo.
Rise and, shine.

>> No.44699394

I was before I hit the wall but I can be again with the help of demonic magic.

>> No.44699400

No. I'll be normal sized and Eirin will have gigantic, house sized tits like in that one image.
Eirin would be too busy with Kags and work to be a mother.

>> No.44699409

A man who wouldn't scour the earth for his missing wife isn't going to reclaim her from me.

>> No.44699459
File: 181 KB, 1139x1617, 1486627417064.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Eirin would be too busy with Kags and work to be a mother.
Eirin is a mega genius Goddess woman. If she ever had a kid, even if it was with a lowly human male, it would come out of the womb already able to talk, walk, read, write, do calculus, fly a fighter jet and have several articles published in peer reviewed high impact factor Lunarian medical journals.

>> No.44699470

>A man who wouldn't scour the earth
About that Anon... I don't think you are gonna find her if you scour the earth...

>> No.44699475

What if I help her take care of Kaguya? In a way she would be like our child.

>> No.44699488

It's the principle of the matter.

Plus that guy lived no less than several millennia ago, I doubt he's even alive still.

>> No.44699552
File: 104 KB, 279x307, 1688763678244534.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I could have sworn it was stated somewhere that Toyo was canonically married still.

>> No.44699560

It was, but I paid Keine to eat that history.

>> No.44699616
File: 57 KB, 256x256, 1657465580697.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

does keine even count as a 2hag

if anything she gives me more of christmas cake feel
like a woman approaching 30 who is in denial but slowly getting desperate that she still hasn't gotten married by her age

>> No.44699624
File: 125 KB, 850x1291, __watatsuki_no_toyohime_touhou_drawn_by_kei_jiei__sample-62dd0a9f47d1ba97daa1850d5f60e40c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Canonically had sex
Is this why she's banned from the council?

>> No.44699715

if that was the metric, byakuren would be banned too since she's serviced miles of dick

>> No.44699917

Half-youkai are the next best thing to space marines
Yook blood is a better performance enhancing drug than any other

>> No.44699933

There isn't a single one that I'd last more than ten thrusts with.

>> No.44700224

Yuuka would choke you for fun.

>> No.44700275

Would she get mad if I choked her back?

>> No.44700280
File: 479 KB, 1134x802, YuKaku.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

What have we told you about sabotaging other members of the Council Yukari?
Or is it Seiga trying to tear down the central government of Gensokyo for barring her on grounds of unacceptable behaviour.
Keep seething YuKaku, whichever you are.

>> No.44700287

What if I spontaneously ejaculated? What's she gonna do now, big girl?

>> No.44700335

>2 days ago
Why are hags threads so successful?

>> No.44700366


>> No.44700375

The thread started on Respect for the Aged day in Japan.

>> No.44700378
File: 821 KB, 1024x1024, winka.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I love my wife and will defend her honor against the horde of sexually frustrated older women who are jealous of her and her beauty / happiness.

>> No.44700380

Easy manipulation. Men minds are so easy to control

>> No.44700428
File: 144 KB, 849x1200, 1680338006050743.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Byakuren Boobs
Tanuki Titties
Megumu Milkers
Seiga Saggers
Elly's E-cups

just to name a few reasons

>> No.44700440

Hag feet are the best thing

>> No.44700497

Yukari paizuri.

>> No.44700781

I agree. Why not post your favorite?

>> No.44700816
File: 778 KB, 960x1280, 19347213.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>no goddess goodies
ONE job

>> No.44700830

Kanako Knockers, you numpty!

>> No.44700870
File: 247 KB, 1800x1820, Yukarin dangle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I can't decide between Yukari and Mamizou

>> No.44700932
File: 2.50 MB, 1600x2400, __kaku_seiga_touhou_drawn_by_hira_san__ebcc0f0b8b7de3955cc9ffefa0ff00bc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Hag upskirts are the best thing.

>> No.44700946

Yukari is only good when her boobs are eggplant-shape.

I'm more partial to Yuyuko's Yuyukos.

>> No.44700956

Good mommy issues thread.

>> No.44701034

I’m more partial to Yukari myself.
But imagine getting getting to rub both of their feet?

>> No.44701065
File: 681 KB, 800x800, 1365786766239.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.44701093
File: 155 KB, 600x622, __kazami_yuuka_touhou_drawn_by_tokiniwa__53cd436b75b0a416ffb62954b0f06790.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Don't forget the genuine dangers to society!!

>> No.44701099

Ha, my thoughts exactly. Now just picture all the teasing they would unleash on you as you massage their mature yet eternally young feet?

>> No.44701117

I would jizz in my pants

>> No.44701127
File: 331 KB, 2048x1444, 450d6ce62388967e188d372033753e4c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yes, she's the smallest hag and a clear rival to Suwako.

>> No.44701462
File: 225 KB, 850x680, 19347232.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I knew I was missing something

>> No.44702333

I mean, if she is a shikome she predates the lunar capital, not older than Eirin(but no one is), but still probably at least 20 h̶u̶n̶d̶r̶e̶d̶. She also has long gloves like Yukari and literally chased after Izanagi just the moment he broke up with Izanami...
Dunno, maybe we need a hag check list but she seems to have the years and degeneracy.
iirc the four perils come from a Ha ̶g̶n dynasty text, so she might also be old as hell.

>> No.44703480
File: 505 KB, 800x600, 20230920_113640.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Where is Misumaru, she is THE grandmahu.

>> No.44704220
File: 1.02 MB, 1137x1141, 1683930322050934.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I like Byakuren and in a perfect scenario Id marry her and raise a family with her but isn't that impossible? I'm not an expert in Buddhism but isn't not having sex IE giving yourself to your desire for sex one of the more basic rules to follow? Can you even have kids with someone who is Buddhist and it still falls under the guidelines?
I know the meme of her having sex with her followers and her bending rules to make them benefit her but Ignoring that and lets say she actually doesn't is there still a chance?

>> No.44704272

You are supposed to not have attachments. There is not a virginity requirement. You can become a monk even if you have kids as long as you give up the attachment.

>> No.44704564

wouldnt not having attachment kinda defeat the purpose of being a mother? So she can have sex/have a child and probably married too but cant be attached to them at all? that sounds more sad then anything.

>> No.44706246

You shouldn't really concern yourself with Byakuren being a Buddhist. She only is in name, and it's really only a path to power and influence for her. Basically, she uses it similarly to Miko, but would never admit it because it would be horrible for her image. If anything, the gap moe of Byakuren as a "Buddhist" and her vulnerable, likely outright clingy self (considering the impetus for her acts was losing a loved one, and her dream self even asks to not be left) is 90% of the appeal to Byakuren in the first place.

Of course, that also means that if you want to court Byakuren, be prepared for her to be very insistent on you acquiring some sort of immortality.

>> No.44706336
File: 2.57 MB, 1748x2481, 1684971720590028.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.44706665
File: 1.02 MB, 1000x1363, cyuutka.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yes Yukari, I too love Yuka!

>> No.44706742
File: 729 KB, 893x998, 47809273_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

goodbye hagfags, we had a good thread

>> No.44706794
File: 64 KB, 850x478, eirininspace.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

See you at the next Hagfag monthly meeting.

>> No.44707038

Goodbye, hags FTW

>> No.44707056

Best thread on the jay, by far.
We even avoided that ranfag spammer!

>> No.44707341
File: 186 KB, 1433x2048, FxyLOkIakAQa30O.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.44707417
File: 127 KB, 600x872, hagmu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

How many more years until Reimu becomes the hag we all know she is deep down?

>> No.44707488

She has been sixteen for twenty years, who knows

>> No.44707917
File: 425 KB, 864x1200, 99217461_p0_master1200.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don't want it to end.

>> No.44707951
File: 706 KB, 900x1440, permavirgin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

It must end so we can start next month with a fresh thread

>> No.44707961
File: 631 KB, 800x1120, eirinsmokes.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

No one lives forever anon.
Not even Yukari.
Eirin is so-so.

>> No.44708646

Eirin paizuri.

>> No.44709305

I want to mating press her asshole.
That is all.

>> No.44709319
File: 1.01 MB, 2220x3106, 109563524_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

These are married women. You can't have them.

>> No.44709362
File: 545 KB, 2507x3541, sexoprincess.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

We'll see about that!

>> No.44709424

Yukari, while I'll say this is a more clever tactic, your age and senility is showing. We already established earlier that Toyohime is single and ready to mingle.

>> No.44709444

Imagine wanting some Lunarian's sloppy seconds.