/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Miss Yakumo invited me over for tea and is now stripping in front of my very eyes! How do I politely decline?!

[Anonymous No.]

"no homo". it is highly effective.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
Are you married or I a relationship with someone else? If the answer is "no" then go for it, if it's "yes" the politely tell her that you're flattered but that you already have a partner and that going along with Yukari would be a gross violation of her trust

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
Just tell her the truth. That you a dick sucking Liberace ass faggot also cocks man.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44416673
are you...okay?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44416700
I dunno are you fucking retarded?

[Anonymous No.]

Tell her she's too young for you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44417086
Doing that will surely make Yukari chase him even more. It's not every day that the hag finds a guy who thinks she's young.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
>oh no, yakumo, please don't strip naked in front of me oh no what are you doing? don't take my pants off nooo

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
i love Yuyuko

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Grab fat hag belly

[Anonymous No.]

>>44417828
Yooks can't get fat
Yukari's body will be flawless forever

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
Even if you reject her she won't let you run away

[Anonymous No.]

>>44417828
Your boyfriend is fat

[Anonymous No.]

Ran needs to plan a coup.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
Tag me in

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

how many children

[Anonymous No.]

>>44418399
gap youkai gives birth in litters

[Anonymous No.]

>>44417086
>>44417103
Imagine Yukari flirts with someone who has no idea who she is. The guy asks her how old she is just be sure, Yukari replies by saying she's 17 only to get rejected and told she should come back once she's 18

[Anonymous No.]

>>44417424
That's one brutal way to rejects someone anon.

[Anonymous No.]

how does one properly propose to this youkai

[Anonymous No.]

>>44417828
Hot. Imagine compressing that fat belly into a tight corset.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44418720
>"Miss Yakumo, are you free this Saturd-"
>Yukari runs away blushing before you manage to finish your sentence

[Anonymous No.]

>>44417236
>Oh no, Yukari-sama! Please dont press your smooth hag feet against my cock and give me a footjob while stuffing one of your 1000 year old socks into my mouth!!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44418223
Jesus Christ, those eyes are begging to be fucked.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44418614
Don't be surprised if she joyfully says: "Wonderful, me too!"
The gap is dangerous and unpredictable...
And the ghost is no saint either!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44417982

[Anonymous No.]

>>44420391
Worst still if she gapped Yuyuko in for a threesome
Truly a heinous, pelvis-breaking hag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44419044
So it's all about getting the words out before she can run away? Is it best to just run up and hit her with "Marry me!" when the time is right?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Hello /jp/, I'd like to know how to gap-proof my bathroom. I'm, uh, asking for a friend.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44421975
Do you have any quantum field generators?
Do you know any psychics?

If the answer to either is "No" then its safe to say there are gonna be many eyes on you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44422173
Where would I- Err, my friend go to develop psychic abilities? Last I checked they recalled Polybius from arcades, so I know that's out of the question.

[Anonymous No.]

plap her gap

[Anonymous No.]

>>44418223
Would Yukari be able to use her abilities to make a doppelganger?

Iirc the translation to that IMG was
>Cute? Sexy? Which do you prefer?

Btw I'd impregnate both just so you know

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
"sorry i only date women my age"

[Anonymous No.]

>>44420391
yukari would steal her "best friend" girlfriend? even after that time she stole her life?
yukari is truly, truly awful!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44422325
here you go

[Anonymous No.]

>>44423169
I wonder where it leads to...

[Anonymous No.]

I do not like Yukari. I think she's stupid and mean.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
You can't. The hag is known to rape young human males. Just take off your clothes and accept your fate.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44423169
reminds me of

[Anonymous No.]

>>44428110
The babytrapping hag!

[Fernando No.]

>>44427853
Oh yeah. I love this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44428110
>>44428150
it's over for you, have fun raising 10 gap daughters

[Anonymous No.]

>>44422245
have you tried reaching /sci/? there was an anon who bullied yukari with the power of physics. maybe he can help you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44423169
Imagine thrusting your dick in there and feeling your anus tear open.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44429418
small dick stays winning

[Anonymous No.]

>>44428638
I can hear Reimu's scream of horror already

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
She's not bold enough to strip for you or invite you to tea or talk to you or leave her home to initiate any of that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44435606
She's trying her best!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44422245
As far as I can tell you're born with them, and they're not hereditary either.
Though... maybe everyone has some degree of psychic ability with some more sensitive to it/more powerful versions.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44435606
She's literally me...

[Anonymous No.]

Gloves

[Anonymous No.]

>>44435606
Yukari needs severe cuddle correction

[Anonymous No.]

Don't be fooled! The gap hag is not an autistic cute old lady! She's a massive slut that kidnaps and rapes human males! (You) could be her next victim!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44441178
As long as I don't die or get an STDs I'm fine with having sex with this gap slut

[Anonymous No.]

May as well post the only other page for completion's sake.
>>44438829
Even a good hug would probably do her wonders.
>>44441178
Weird description for for "she drinks herself into a stupor, alone at home with only her computer".

[Anonymous No.]

>>44423169
Would gently kiss it

[Anonymous No.]

>>44441753
how did the evil hag become the depression hu

[Anonymous No.]

>>44442506
She got Yachie'd a long time ago.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44442506
Psyop posts by Ran in order to make it easier for Yukari to find new boytoys to rape.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44442506
Suika basically says in Lotus Eaters that Yukari doesn't know how to interact with people or join in on a good time. That's less depression and more just general autism but that fits the comic enough anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44443047
It's kind of cute in a pathetic way, the threat is basically just her way of telling Miyoi to be careful.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44443047

[Anonymous No.]

>>44443047
I'd happily give her attention

[Anonymous No.]

>>44441753
The hag is even more dangerous when she's with her shikigami

[Anonymous No.]

>>44445962

this
>>44432439

[Anonymous No.]

Be honest jaypee: Would you stay loyal to her and not cheat on her when she is on her year long hibernation?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446175
If she told me it's okay to have sex with her while she's sleeping, I would not have any reason to cheat on her.
I wouldn't mind dealing with Ran's or Chen's needs during that time though. We're all a big family, right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446175
I'm a very lovey dovey guy, so I wouldn't do it. However, Yukari would definitely make Ran please me instead during that hibernation phase, no matter how hard she tries to decline it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446175
I would stay loyal, I've gone this long without sex and can keep going

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446175
if i remember correctly she just sleeps because boredom, and in the second official book it says she does hibernate through winter but it may just be a case of her being bored or feeling lonely or depressed and not having anything better to do. (some may say its a stretch but like always theres very little info so may as well be up for interpretation)

probably the latter, so with you around i see little reason as to why she would just sleep through knowing she has you around now and knowing she has a limited amount of time with you

i do like the idea of also getting the fox though, i agree there should be more fox hag harem content

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446291
>and knowing she has a limited amount of time with you
Its gensokyo, you take a single wrong step and you become an immortal. And is not like you simply disappear when you die too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
the polite thing to do is sit quietly in your chair and masturbate while focusing on her body

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

so is the super small amount of youkai human hybrids more of a thing of them not coexisting or a compatibility thing

what im trying to ask is how fertile is this 1000 year old youkai if one were a human and was interested in marriage and other things with her and how many children would she be able to bear with a young human outsider

hypothetical question of course. we all know it's taboo to try and mingle with them haha

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446698
human-yokai hybrids have existed since almost as early as yokai were a thing. their appearance, personalities, and abilities are largely influenced by how they are perceived by others, as they are often fears taken human form. many of the yokai who had children could be said to have existed since the dawn of human civilization, so there is no reason to think they were incapable of reproducing unless specifically stated as being incapable of it.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine her popping in whenever you're busy with something without even saying hello

>Be busy doing something like gardening and pricking your arm on some rose thorns
>She pops in unnanounced without even saying hi commenting on your situation
>"Those roses sure would look prettier without thorns"
>Proceed to ask her if she's busy later tonight/weekend
>"Not particularly"
>Now you are

Or something, I don't know. I just think being casually flirty with her whilst 2 mins ago you hadn't even seen her would be nice

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446291
I thought it's was just a cover for her activities in the outside world?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446803
That's really cute, I'd unironically love to be watched 24/7 by a hag that likes me

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446803
It would be pretty fun. I already barge in on my family while they're busy... so its nothing new to me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446698
Most of the tme children from human-youkai relationships are either full human or full youkai with exceptions being almost nonexistant. Fertility has nothing to do with small amounts of half-youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44448604
what creates a half-youkai then?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44448700
A youkai with a human.

[Anonymous No.]

Cuddling a sad gaphag until she is happy again!
Protecting her smile!
Happy gappy!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446175
Definitely. Even without considering it would be foolish cheating on someone who could so easily rearrange your organs. I bet it would be a very weird kind of cozy getting out of bed in the morning, doing whatever during the day, then at night getting back in bed with Yukari, who hasn't really moved at all.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>44449289
I will rearrange her organs

With her willingly letting me

[Anonymous No.]

>>44441433
She'll eat you literally the moment she gets bored of you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446698
Logically, they wouldn't be welcome in Gensokyo. Youkai don't really have societies in general. But what few do exist would most likely few Youkai human hybrids as subhumans. Human society wouldn't be much friendlier. At best, the human village probably runs on a "Don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Their existence, if allowed to prosper, would also endanger the balance of Gensokyo. They are basically humans with none of the weaknesses of humans. If allowed to form a society of their own they would quickly become a kind of master race that would effortlessly conquer the youkai and human population.

[Anonymous No.]

Implications and societal norms be damned
So even if she's 1000+ year old she can have them?
Her hibernation times are over, every year for nine months she'll be busy taking care of herself and mini versions of herself
Of course with anon alleviating her throughout

[Anonymous No.]

I hope that one day, when I'm old and wrinkly, I will be happily surrounded by gap daughters who look just as young and beautiful as their mother.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44449416
she "eats" me every night if you catch my drift

[Anonymous No.]

>>44449478
Nah, youkai easily blend into the human village canologically and some seem to be accepted or at least tolerated.
Half-youkai are clearly allowed though natural youkai autism and the apparent rarity of both fertilization and marriages keeps the population from increasing in any meaningful way

[Anonymous No.]

>>44449478
https://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Half-youkai
how many of these characters are hated by either the human or youkai societies (ya, they exist, play any of the games) and how many would you figure were better off described with the same indifference, in not reverent aggression, you might expect for anyone else in gensokyo? they aren't superhumans, they aren't subhumans, a few of them hide it from humans, but it doesn't make a difference. keep in mind, youkai need fear to live. a human has to survive a youkai before they can reproduce with them, and if they do, they'll be adding to the population actively threatening their population just to survive. note, they don't necessarily need to eat them to survive, but the thought doesn't hurt them one bit. still, with the protection of the shrines and the spellcard rules, most humans know they are safe if they don't anger them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44450033
It's find as long as you aren't too open about it. That will invite the torch and pitchfork crowd.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44450090
I mean, the only half youkai who isn't a ghost or a were beast. Who does live outside the human village. Not hated perhaps, but far from welcome. Hell, even Keine seems to get funny looks when she's in werebeast form and people trust her with their children.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44450116
the buddhists are largely accepted among most of the human village, and a variety of very obviously youkai have come and gone through it with little derision.
>>44450150
isn't keine ashamed of it or something? she hides it, sure, but as you say, people trust her with their children. you're right, they aren't exactly welcome. the human village is the only place in gensokyo that is exclusively meant for humans. trade and interaction is accepted when all is well, but that doesn't change the fact that they are afraid of them in general.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44450199
True. Suika is pretty blatant as well. Doubt you could openly live in the human village as a youkai though.

Isn't the werewolf the one that is ashamed? Mostly because of how hairy she gets.

[Anonymous No.]

seing this depressed gappie makes me want to be her friend. no one should be as crushingly lonely as me

[Anonymous No.]

Lol who cares what the villagers think? I'll just work on developing super strong psychic powers and/or magic to beat up anyone who get in my families way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44450319
>Isn't the werewolf the one that is ashamed? Mostly because of how hairy she gets.
maybe. why did keine hide her other form, then?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44450681
Does she? I don't think she's ever mentioned as doing so in canon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44449741
Aside from all the ways she'd force you to do to lengthen your lifespan to absurd levels

Would she be able to manipulate some boundaries to fuck with your lifespan?
Like forget about black magic or eating one of those peaches or achieving enlightenment or drinking the hourai elixir among other things

Would she just be able to make you unable to age or just slow it a fuckton on a whim

[Anonymous No.]

>>44451829
>Would she just be able to make you unable to age
she can't stop herself from aging, let alone anyone el

[Anonymous No.]

>>44451926
That 4chan gold pass sure is sweet

[Anonymous No.]

>>44451829
Yes, but I unironically prefer staying natural. I want to live a happy, fulfilling life with my gappy, then die peacefully, surrounded by my beautiful youkai family. I would try to convince her to let me age like a normal human. Not sure how well that would turn out.

[Anonymous No.]

It's irresponsible as a parent to just leave and leave all the parenting work of centuries to the mother

Sounds like a fair condition given that they will all live into the millenia

[Anonymous No.]

>>44451965
>Not sure how well that would turn out.
Probably not the best, she is still a selfish youkai who thinks she knows best. I'd expect to be kept around awhile.

[Anonymous No.]

/jp/, are you really willing to endanger the timeline just to bang Yukari? If your actions somehow end up causing the Hifuu club of the future to not exist, she might just end up paradoxed out of existence. Are you ready to take that responsibility?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452035
By the time he dies his daughters are gonna be around 50, they can take care of themselves.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452084
how would it affect the hifuu club?
>>44452086
what about the new daughters you birth? what about yukari herself?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452173
>how would it affect the hifuu club?
Regardless of whether or not Renko is Sumireko's direct descendant, it's Sumireko that founded the Hifuu Club in the present, and so any actions in Gensokyo that would substantially affect her (and creating a horde of half-youkai with Yukari definitely would) runs the risk of butterflying the future Hifuu Club out of existence.

Frankly, I'd triple-check with the resident timeline and fate experts at the SDM before so much as showing a shred of positive attention to Gappy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44451926
Anon?!
ANON NOOOO
SHE TOOK HIM

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452239
Well maribel says her powers are genetic, so impregnating Yukari might be necessary if she's her own ancestor/decendant.

>"You have to impregnate me Anon, the timeline depends on it"
t. gap hag

[Anonymous No.]

Does Yukari ever use condoms?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452239
wouldn't the timeline just correct itself, as hawking predicted?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452329
If she's trying to conceive, she'll just gap the semen into her womb later anyway, so it makes little difference.
>>44452347
>>44452320
Depends on the nature of the timeline then. If it's a causal loop then you have to ensure Maribel and the future Hifuu Club exists or you risk disaster. If it's proper 3-dimensional time, as time travel should normally require, then you'd be safe either way. In any case, I wouldn't gamble with the matter.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
Just say "No!".
A youkai hag cannot rape you without consent.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452380
>she'll just gap the semen into her womb later anyway
>>44428110

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452463
Yes, they can and will.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452463
Regrettably, Gensokyo's consent laws are more than a little outdated. There is no legal protections against coercion, and any recorded statement can provide "retroactive consent," thus the tengu rape monopoly stands unchallenged, among others.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452463
They're gonna piss on you to mark their territory, anon. Nothing is too audacious for these eccentric millennium maidens.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44449741
I was going to say that there's absolutely no way that a great youkai such as Yukari Yakumo would ever lower herself to having sex with human cattle like you, but then I remembered she's a white woman.
So well, I guess I'll wish you good luck instead, anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452734
Subtle hahaha you just know

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452734
Y-Yukari...is white?! That's it, relationship ended with Yukari. Yuyuko is my waifu now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452672
>Regrettably, Gensokyo's consent laws are more than a little outdated.
Oh no, they are very well defined. No human would think of breaking them.

Youkai however, don't believe in them.

>>44452734
Yukari canonically keeps outsiders that she finds entertaining in her home. What do you think she does with them?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452845
>What do you think she does with them?
doesn't she cannonically have them eaten by some of the more feral youkai and burries them in some valley? unless that manga was just a non endorsed doujin

[Anonymous No.]

Ahh, it sure is a nice day to be engaged to a faceless mob-type village girl! It's only a few days until our wedding, after all! I'm just going to make a quick trip outside the village for some odds and ends, hopefully nothing goes wrong while I'm out t

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452845
>What do you think she does with them?
She brings them in to serve as playmates for Chen, obviously. And a different kind of "playmate" for Yukari herself.
Sadly, they tend to break quickly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452947
I don't remember exactly where it's stated that Yukari gaps humans in to be food for primal youkai, but if that isn't enough, I do recall Kasen's reaction to Yukari saying she has a solution to the seeming "spiriting away" issue in WaHH being to ask whether or not said solution involves murder.

Chances are, she dumps them as food when she inevitably gets called out as a sociopathic autist.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453009
Well I only really play the games, I never really read a lot of doujin, even the ones that Zun said are okay. If no one else remembers that, then I guess it was just my stupid ass missunderstanding something.
Besides I don't really buy the whole "eating humans" thing, I doubt a cute girl who likes drinking tea with her friends would snack on a human corpse she found in the forest.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453067
abandon grimsokyo delusion, embrace cutesokyo reality
yukari is a pure maiden who just likes drinking tea with her friends!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453067
>>44453083
Primal youkai are a confirmed canon element. Kasen herself handles some of them inasfar as helping them subsist on fear instead of flesh.

But yes, Yukari's purity is enough to rival Junko and the Lunarians, I don't think any edition of the Gensokyo Chronicles mentions her ever experiencing the touch of a man.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453126
>ever experiencing the touch of a man.
I can help with that, if gappie wants a nice man to make her feel special (anytime now, love)
>Primal youkai are a confirmed canon element
wonder if they ever tried to eat some other youkai gal's human husband

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453126
Neither Junko nor the Lunarians are virgins, though. And other youkai like the oni and tengu manage to get laid, too. And obviously the humans have no issue finding a mate.
It's only Yukari who keeps spilling her spaghetti as soon as a male talks to her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453213
y-yeah, haha, it's just Yukari... She's the only youkai maiden out there... Haha...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452997
>Sadly, they tend to break quickly.
Wouldn't happen to me
Just benched 2 pl8

I will now imagine myself princess carrying this lonely sexually frustrated inexperienced hag to bed and create human youkai hybrids

[Anonymous No.]

>>44452845
>yukari canonically keeps outsiders that she finds entertaining in her home?
sauce? I've never heard that

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453424
Anon, bragging about your weightlifting is going to attract a different blonde, and she's going to be interested in a competition...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453439
Same

I had just read she is "the mastermind behind the spiriting away"
I just assumed she dropped them to the human village/ hakurei shrine to control the Gensokyo population levels

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Cute feet in pantyhose!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453770
WELL HELLO THERE LADIES YOU ARE LOOKIN' GOOD TONIGHT

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453067
2hus are civilized youkai
Ferals are non-characters

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453467
she says in WaHH in a very sketchy way that 'Gensokyo is getting enough food to full all of it's youkai's bellies from somewhere' right after saying how spiriting away is caused by her, so I imagine they're going straight to death, but I've never heard anything about her keeping outsiders at her house
maybe some of it's to control the village population levels, because there are mentions of outsiders who end up in gensokyo and choose to stay in the village, but I imagine that's more the people who are forgotten by the outside world and not the ones who yukari steals

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453799
Not to mention the Road of Reconsideration, an area that overlaps with Gensokyo and attracts suicidal humans which the feral Youkai prey upon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453786
Even her?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453822
She's too incompetent to eat anybody that isn't old and/or crippled, so she gets to not be exterminated.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453213
It's the autism present within every hag in Gensokyo. For some, namely Yuyuko or Eirin, the autism is slightly lower. But for ones like Kanako and our Yukari, their autism levels are off the charts.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453893
Kanako is popular, though. It's just because she's usually compared to the sex demon that is Suwako that she looks like she has a hard time finding men. But that's just an unfair comparison.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453930
This comic is just outright propaganda from Kanako trying to make herself seem knowledgeable about adult things. It's going to backfire, as usual, and put off even more of her (already very small) pool of potential partners.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453930
>>44453965
The real Kanako would explode the moment she sees a penis.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453978
>>44453930
>>44453965
The idea of Kanako having no experience with men is itself Moriya Shrine propaganda to cover up the fact that if you trace her mythological origins, she was married to a god that very likely jobbed to the moonies.

[Anonymous No.]

All I'm getting here is that all Gensokyoan political maneuvers are the attempts of hags to convince eligible bachelors that they're pure maidens and the others are sluts. For what purpose?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454106
To be the first to brag to Akyuu (the no. 1 hag hater) that they got hitched.

[Anonymous No.]

Why is she like this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453439
Mostly her dialogue in PCB when fighting Sakuya. As well as frequent hints that she attacks people form the outside world.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453067
Anon, a lot of Youkai are not cute girls and even those that are just use shapeshifting magic.

>>44452947
She does that as well. But those mostly seem to be people that are easily missed. The entertaining once she's implied to keep for herself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454321
*from the outside world

[Anonymous No.]

>>44418725
haha imagine if compressing that fat belly into a tight corset had some unintended consequences

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454106
You're missing the big picture, which is that Yukari controls Gensokyo's population with an iron fist. If you've ever wondered why there are so few males in Gensokyo, it's all because Jewkari created an artificial shortage of them so anyone who wants a husband has to grease her palms. Truly Gensokyo's most fearsome individual

[Anonymous No.]

The ara ara just emanates from her

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454476
I see, and then the reason that continues is because Yukari herself can't manage to get a man, and refuses to be second to any other hag in that regard, yes?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454593
I think it's not that she can't get a man but rather is too lazy to do so

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454609
Read "A Beautiful Flower Blooming Violet Every Sixty Years" and come back. The vast majority of men with any degree of self-respect would get tired of that behavior in short order, thus ensuring the cycle continues.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454106
To brag to each other that they scored first. It'll never happen for any of them because of their personalities. It doesn't help that they blame each other for none of them getting any, like Kanako here >>44454476

[Anonymous No.]

She's just silly and inexperienced
Probably is very frustrated sexually but also lies to herself saying there aren't any suitable men

That's where (You) should come into place.
As a good young human outsider you are meant to break through the barriers she puts before her and everyone else

It's your fate anon, to activate her instincts not as a youkai but as a woman.
Extra points if you score her fox Shiki while at it too, bet she'd get lonely

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453799
More on that, I don't exactly remember where I saw it from but its mentioned that Gensokyo actually has quite the elaborate food culture which is likely a direct result of Yukari gapping in the appropriate people to enrich her little fish tank. Though I can't recall if its just an osmosis of all the various print works showing the girls eating a rich variety of food or something explicitly stated.

[Anonymous No.]

I dare

[Anonymous No.]

>>44456485
Are you a bad enough dude to avoid losing your chastity to a lolibaba or a slutty miko while you're questing for kanako's hand in marriage?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44456493
I will rise to the challenge!
I will not stop!
I will not falter!
I will not be led astray!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44456504
t. Anon, 5 seconds before accepting a blowjob from Sanae

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454880
now that I think about it the reason Byakuren keeps preaching about human-youkai relationships is probably so that she can increase her chances of getting a man

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454106
Young human males are rare to come by in Gensokyo, and the ones that are willing to marry a youkai hag are even rarer. Therefore, the hags have to constantly fight if they want a chance (none of them will ever find love)

[Anonymous No.]

I think I'll get a main dish of yakumo fox with some gap on the side

Accidentally getting both pregnant

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457101
Surely I can convince them that there's enough of me to go around, and thus avoid causing an incident at the mere implication of interest in them, right?

...right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457101
How long would it take them to go from meeting you and greeting you as the new outsider to Gensokyo, congratulating you for reaching them unscathed (most impressive for yuyuko)

To eventually stop putting on airs when they realize you may also be in the sights of another one like them
Maybe when they see the doctor at Eientei getting a little too familiar with you
Or maybe a certain flower master or a fox youkai

Once they notice they're not the only one who see a young outsider as a potential Partner I'm thinking they could become quite scary

I may have a bit of a thing for the hags maybe feeling insecure about their age or thinking you may prefer someone younger than them

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457123
I hope you can back up your words and really handle 4 or more sexually-frustrated constantly-ovulating eldritch women

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457196
>I may have a bit of a thing for the hags maybe feeling insecure about their age
that's the hottest stuff for me. Imagine constantly making light-hearted but personal jabs at Yukari's age while she tries her best to take it with a smile because you're the only male who she has a chance with

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457123
*ahem*
Monday: Yukari (morning), Yuyuko (night)
Tuesday: Eirin (morning), Kanako (night)
Wednesday: Byakuren (morning) Kasen (night)
Thursday: Junko (morning), Junko (night)
Friday: Eirin (morning), Yukari (night)
Saturday: Yuyuko (morning), Byakuren (night)
Sunday: Kasen (morning), Kanako (night)
Any questions about your new schedule?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457298
remember to drink lots of water or you will literally die

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457298
Yes. Who would be responsible enough to deliver me from one spot to another without demanding a quickie?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457343
No need to worry, your transportation services have been contracted out to the tengu. They seemed very eager, in fact!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457298
Junko gets you all day for one day, and Kanako only gets you at night? Doesn't seem fair...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457298
>Any questions
What do i eat?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457382
Hag breast milk, packed with nutrients.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457396
And what do they eat?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457382
Morning hag is responsible for breakfast, night hag for dinner. Tengu promised to take good care of you at lunchtime

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457023
The only wrong word here is
>accepting
Rejecting would be more fitting

[Anonymous No.]

How many tries until gappy hag goes from inexperienced to having a bulging belly

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457730
5.7 seconds

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457730
I wonder how Yukari would react to seeing stretch marks on her skin as well as her nipples getting darker. Would she freak out? Cry?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457845
Youkai regeneration and shapeshifting don't get blemishes like that

[Anonymous No.]

Haha imagine offhandedly mentioning you like older women
Surely this wouldn't cause them to go feral

[Anonymous No.]

>>44459010
If /fit/ is anything to go by older women are the most gropey and catcalling.

[Anonymous No.]

I love Yukari!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44459056
Reminds me of an image in an old hag thread where they were in a restaurant setting and some they said being a waiter there means all manner of dignity hurting sexual harassment

[Anonymous No.]

>>44460828
Sounds hot, anyone got the image?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44461285
Sounds hot but yeah it was just the hags at a restaurant
Art looked pretty bad so I'm assuming it was western
Try to find it in the archive the thread was just a general hag thread with that image with the hags looking at you with kanako in the center as op

[Anonymous No.]

>>44457845
It's your job to not make her think you think she's unattractive

I remember some tip some guy who had a diary said he had two and the extra one he didn't keep as hidden so his wife who eventually couldn't resist herself that was pregnant found that he had just written shit like "my wife looks more attractive lately even though her body is changing"
She apologized later for reading it but was also happy
Do that with your hag wife or something similar

Make sure she feels loved cause she deserves it

[Anonymous No.]

>>44454388
Like what? The corset exploding in the middle of an evening get-together, revealing Yukari's chubby tummy to all of her hag friends. That would be pretty funny haha. Not that the other hags could laugh very hard at that though, or they'd risk exploding their own corsets haha.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine after a long day, you're in the human village and even after some months it's still a bit difficult for you to get used to this new life. you're tired and alone with your thoughts looking at the ceiling with nothing but your own voice to keep you company
>Maybe I have a thing for older women

However, unknown to you, there just was a small little gap in the room checking in on you, with an spectator who just heard the best news in a long time. Since outsiders aren't technically humans from the village, they're up for takes

[Anonymous No.]

Do 2hu hags like fat virgin 35 year old manlets with small penis? Asking for a friend

[Anonymous No.]

>>44463196
You ask this question every hag thread. Kill yourself already

[Anonymous No.]

>>44463219

[Anonymous No.]

>>44463196
>Virgin
Yes.
>35
Yes.
>manlet
Yes.
>small penis
Yes.
>fat
It's over for you. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44463196
This >>44463307
Lose some weight, anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44462222
Great tip. I don't ever write actual diaries so I will only have to spend time on the fake one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44459302
That's a very suspicious Yukari!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44462860
damn, i might have to start making a habit of saying "I love older women" to myself every few minutes, just in case some gap hag decides to check on me

[Anonymous No.]

>>44463335
This Yukari looks a bit too cute...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44463335
Even more so then usual?

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine having to massage and worship every hag's feet...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44465101
H-Haha oh nooooooooo

[Anonymous No.]

You cannot convince me that half these messages pretending to lust after Yukari aren't herself just making them to appear cool in front of the other hags

I know she's the one writing them

[Anonymous No.]

Hags? Why don't you girls step aside and let a real woman take the reins...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44466332
I'll be sure to prepare your will, and your grave, anon. If you're lucky, maybe you can score with that buxom shinigami.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44466597
>maybe you can score with that buxom shinigami
But you'd be a spirit and likely no carnal desire...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44466829
There's precedence for horny ghosts and stuff so thats that. Its entirely possible for Anon to come back as a lustful ghost.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44466829
Anon, I am the pure embodiment of lust and sex.
My physical body is the only limit to my thirst for hags.
Without it, there would be no bound to my desires, and all of hell would have to work to contain my raging hagboner.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44466845
Have fun breaking out of the Preta Realm. Leave some hags for the rest of us, though, there's only so many women that have survived long enough to earn that title, you know.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44466332
I wish I didn't have Yukari on the brain constantly, she's creepy and weird. It didn't used to be like this. I feel like I was brainwashed at some point.

[Anonymous No.]

yeah its definitely the hags writing this

too convenient for those kissless sexually frustrated women to just have a horde of thirsty young men for them

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467359
No horde, it's just me and my 30 schizophrenic delusions which for some reason have different tastes in hags.
>>44467347
I wish I didn't know what you were talking about. Although in my case, I find the contrast between her crimes against humanity and her otherwise endearing-dork personality to create a weird hate-love feedback loop.

[Anonymous No.]

Hag ranking:
Junko>Shinki>Yukari>Kanako>Byakuren>Yuyuko>Eirin
Psuedohags not included.

[Anonymous No.]

thats fun
Hag ranking:
Ran>=Yukari>Yuuka>Eirin>=Byakuren>=Kanako>Yuyu>Junko>Okina>Kasen>Mamizou

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467420
addendum:
just the fact that i got mamizou or kasen low doesnt mean i dont lust after them

in fact i think a lot about what you could do with mamizou's shapeshifting or kasen's oni form

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467437
I am fully prepared to become a hermit just to survive intercourse with Prime Kasen.

[Anonymous No.]

If Junko and Kasen are universally accepted hags, shouldn't Seiga be too?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467467
she's uncharacteristically youthful and cheery, lacking that essential bitterness of a hag

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467467
Most of us remember what interactions with our actual grandmothers were like, and Seiga acts enough like one that we elect to ignore her, and do not grant her the title of hag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467491
Your grandma had a fetus closet?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467497
Yours didn't?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467467
i don't think kasen makes the cut

[Anonymous No.]

I mean If this happened to me I'd get fucking paranoid this is yet another person trying to fuck me over and I'd probably spaz out due to being a total mental nutcase with massive trust issues. Things don't just happen to people without reasons and I don't have anything to bring to the table at the end of the day.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
saggy haggy

[Anonymous No.]

What would you do if you saw this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44468882
My best.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467745
i love this hagger and her saggers

[Anonymous No.]

>>44414994
Tell her that's rans job

[Anonymous No.]

>>44468882
Ask for an invitation to the hag hot springs

[Anonymous No.]

>>44469121
Holy FUCK those saggy tummies make me go feral.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44469140
sinking your hands into hag tummies

[Anonymous No.]

>>44468882
Ask mom for permission to play some more video games despite already having used up all my gaming time today, knowing full well that she'll say anything to get me to leave her alone with her two hag friends. I just need to hope that Kanako and Yukari stay for as long as possible.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44469121
>>44417828

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467420
I'd like to cuddle with Mamizou

[Anonymous No.]

>>44468882
Escape

[Anonymous No.]

>>44470544
ewww why are the hags dressed in schoolgirl uniform? they dont even fit, those clothes are for young girls only!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44472491
Hags can dress fun and hip if they feel like it, and telling them otherwise will result in consequences!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44467402
God I just want to barrage Junko with kisses on her cheeks and lips

[Anonymous No.]

>>44468882
Call reimu and have them exterminated for not kissing me.

[Anonymous No.]

senile old hag

[Anonymous No.]

>>44446803
>Be hired at Moriya shrine or something
>Busy doing carpenter work for the kappa
>Yukari pops up unnanounced
>Drop a compliment asking if she changed her hairstyle or something today, because she looks pretty
>she plays it cool but clearly affected by it
>soon she makes an excuse and gaps away, with her face up to her ears still red

[Anonymous No.]

Would she be like this with her own children (lol)?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44482265
yes, and then I would have to punish her for scaring our children with very rough sex

[Anonymous No.]

>>44482282
Sounds like you're just encouraging her to do it again

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453213
>八雲 藍さまへ
first gappy will be elated, then confused, then sad, and finally angry

[Anonymous No.]

>>44482404
>then sad, and finally depressed
ftfy

[Anonymous No.]

>>44477514
God I want to hug her

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453213
>And obviously the humans have no issue finding a mate.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>44453770
Just don't drink what they pour you and you'll be fine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44485447
It's hopeless. Yukari will gap the drugs directly into your liver. The only mercy is that there's no way she'd ever ask Eirin for help, and so you won't be spiked with Lunarian Super-Viagra.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44485461
>Lunarian Super-Viagra
Does Lunarian even have sex? I mean sure the Watatsuki are betrothed to someone, but wouldn't they consider the act of copulation "impure"?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44485507
That's not what Toyohime told me last night, and we all know there isn't a Lunarian in the world who would ever tell a lie.

[Anonymous No.]

Stupid, fat hag! Start exercising!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44485507
Isn't life itself impure according to the moonies and they live in a very stagnant society? Chances are she's married but fat chance of them ever sealing the deal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44486399
She already has, or inevitably will, as the Imperial Dynasty of Japan needs that to occur to exist, and although the moonies may be involved in some of the time fuckery, they presumably aren't free to flip causality the bird and grandfather paradox everything apart.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44486382
Kiss the belly

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490017
Bite the belly

[Anonymous No.]

I hate you fatfags.

[Anonymous No.]

Do you like her sage dress better or her evening dress?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490500
Tabards are sexy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490017
Very kissable chubby tummy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490500
I like the dress more.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490156
It's not fat you faggot, it's plump. Every hag has it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490500
The dress makes me rock hard

[Anonymous No.]

>>44486626
Fair enough I, forgot my foundation myths

[Anonymous No.]

Yukari after she accidentally scared off the guy she likes by boasting about her (non-existent) sex life:

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490630
Found the fattard ITT

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490750
If loving plump hags make me a fattard then sure, I'm a fattard.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490500
She looks gorgeous no matter what she wears

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490156
There's nothing with enjoying chubby women, Anon, more to love.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490853
Yuuka. You are such a fat youkai. Why are you so fat?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490853
I prefer my mature ladies to be in shape thank you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490853
They're supposed to be in shape and sexy. If you want your old ladies to be fat and lazy, why not just go for 3DPD? They're all like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490500
Her wedding dress.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490967
>>44491007
Well, to each his own. I think it makes them even cuter, especially if they're a bit insecure about it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44418223
one will drain your balls
the other will also drain your balls

[Anonymous No.]

>>44492525
One will have Chris Hansen asking you to take a seat.
The other will break down crying after the deed is done, begging you to stay with her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44492534
Both of these outcomes are good
One I get a clingy gappy to exploit, the other I get clingy gappy exploited And to meet chris handsome

[Anonymous No.]

>>44491048
Ran's been taking it too easy since she married You!

She's been dropping hints at wanting children and making Chen a big sister too, so she doesn't seem like she's going to lose any weight soon even though she's embarassed about it!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44492534
Chris Hansen will get seduced by all the cute fairies of Gensokyo. He'll let me go easily

[Anonymous No.]

I want to give the 2hu hags erotic foot massages

[Anonymous No.]

>>44492622
wh-what are you going to do to him?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44490500
Sage dress.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44493718
I'm gonna ruin that butt. They call me the warrior for a reason.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44418223
My beautiful wife and one of our twenty cute daughters.

[Anonymous No.]

Yukari's daughters putting cicada shells in Yukari's beautiful hair!

[Anonymous No.]

What a woman.

[Anonymous No.]

Do you think she has that grandma smell?

[Anonymous No.]

but yukari is a groomer

[Anonymous No.]

>>44510929
her and yuyuko wear the same chinese white powder so yes

[Anonymous No.]

Being extremely lovey-dovey with Yukari!
Pelting her with kisses!
Breaking her charisma with no hope of recovery!
Showering her with so much affection she mindbreaks and becomes extremely clingy!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44511111
I am glad this anon got the quints.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44511111
nice quints

[Anonymous No.]

Giving my monthly allowance with grandma's lewd body!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44511111
Clingy Yukari sounds nice but I wanna pamper a smug, lazy Yukari too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44514762
Clingy yet smug and lazy don't sound necessarily exclusive to each other.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44511111
Checked

[Anonymous No.]

>>44515142
I guess you're right, she just might have trouble maintaining her smug/lazy demeanor if charisma-broken hard enough. I'd still be happy to spoil her all the same.

[Anonymous No.]

dont know about you guys but the real prize is Ran

[Anonymous No.]

Drifting to sleep with Gappy

[Anonymous No.]

>>44517336
Slumber party time!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44517336
Me on the left

[Anonymous No.]

>>44491048
>>44492651
she just wants to be sure the baby comes out healthy

[Anonymous No.]

Time for your nap, granny.

[Anonymous No.]

Being Granny's bodypillow during her afternoon nap

[Anonymous No.]

>>44524830
chubby momfox