/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

I want to date the 'guya

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095186
I want to FUCK the 'guya

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095218
I want to impregnate the 'guya

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095227
I want to anally wreck the 'guya

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095256
but that won't give her any children

[Anonymous No.]

I want to finger her for several hours and then loudly have sex with Eirin instead

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095373
Ok and? Then i will finger her pussy so hard she will die

[Anonymous No.]

'guya is so seductive

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095450
I really really really want to destroy her pussy so much with my cock and then impregnate her with triplets or something

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095463
And then her pussy will look like a creampie....yummy

[Anonymous No.]

I want to hold hands with the 'guya

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095186
She's at least a thousand years old, but all attempts of precise dating so far have been firmly rejected.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095740
I see.

[Anonymous No.]

Kaguyer?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095743
I will seduce her with reverse psychology!

[Anonymous No.]

Seductive Kaguya!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44098590
That's it, she's asking for it, time to rape the 'guya in every possible way now

[Anonymous No.]

>>44101206
rape and impregnation for the 'guya!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44103482
Eeeeew!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44103482
Kaguya would look fantastic with a massive round belly

[Anonymous No.]

>>44103947
I would like to kiss it every day!

[Anonymous No.]

I want Kaguya-hime to milk me like i'm her prized cow.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44106471
I wouldn't mind being kaguya's personal cum cow

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095186
I thought you had miswritten "I want to date the guys"

[Anonymous No.]

>>44111333
Imagine dating a whole host of young, muscular divine scions of the Moon, engaging in intricate intellectual challenges and afterwards drowning in pure manly passion, all by Plato's ideals!
That exiled bitch can join too, though I bet she's pretty boring person once she runs out of her stories to tell

[Anonymous No.]

>>44111441
giwtwm

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095456
she has an amazing physique

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095743
should never ask a woman her age, it's rude

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>44107822
Imagine her doing what she did to Mokou in that gif to you. Milking your dick with the expertise of a veteran milkmaid while lying on top of you. Her full weight pressing down. Yet another reminder of who's in charge. You could tap out at anytime, your orgasm refractory period is painful. But it feels too good to stop. And you don't want to displease or disappoint her, and she knows that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44137315
Fuck her, one of her holes is getting filled and it's not gonna be her mouth, damn brat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44137338
None of these things are mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44137338
i want to fill her baby hole

[Anonymous No.]

>>44137315
anything for my NEET queen

[Anonymous No.]

Furuka

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095186
Breaking:
Man found dead in the village river, with multiple wounds deep on his back.
Coroner's report courtesy of Eientei has determined the poor soul a suicide victim.
In other news, Kaguya is still looking for a potential suitor, now that she is no longer in hiding.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44140702

[Anonymous No.]

>>44140752
why would kaguya do this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44143684
That's clearly just Mokou being jealous, anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44143808
>>44143684
I was trying to lead it more towards Eirin policing Kaguya's love life, but whatever floats thine boat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44143877
How can I convince Eirin to let me date Kaguya?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44143891
Strap a bomb to your chest, wrangle and threaten your way into Eientei by any means necessary, beg Kaggy to go on a date with you, refuse to leave her side even for a moment, never drink anything you haven't prepared yourself, don't eat anything you've left unattended, don't go down dark alleyways when the moon is shining, for as long as it take until either you get Hourai'd or Kaggy decides to bug her tard wrangler to let her see you again.
Good luck, you are going to need it, but by god you deserve it anon.

Or you could just sex the moon mommy directly, up to you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44143965
why does eirin sit so seductively? Does she want me to sxe her instead of kaguya? Is that why she is so murderous?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44144645
She learnt her rapebait ways from Tewi.
Of course, sexxing the doctor is an arduous task in and of it's self, but at least you aren't fighting someone else for the right to do so.
Should you fail the first time, there is always another chance, and while you're waiting you can come up with some pickup lines to try and seduce her. Such as;

>Hey Eirin, did you fall from the moon? Because with those tits i'd have thought you'd float!

>Hey Eirin, thanks for not killing me, although if you want to give me drugs, i'd not mind giving you a little prick as well!

Results may vary.

Of course, Kaguya would be much amuse'd with such words so boldly stated, and you might find that she wishes to spend some time with you to fully explore your sense of humor.
This is a dangerous situation, because you will never ever get an oppertunity like this again.
IF you want to date the kagg, you must time everything so that Eirin gives in to her pestering and allows a short audience between the two of you, over dinner, in front of her and the rabbits, RIGHT as you are getting comfortable with her.
Too soon, and Eirin will put poison in your drinks and claim that your filthy earth body was so fragile that your heart just happened to stop then, too late and she might get jealous of your suddenly shifted attentions.
You want to be just at the stage where she isn't a total stranger to you, but isn't so attached that she wants you for herself, and you MUST act quickly to woo Kaggu and get her to fall in love, fast enough that she will ask to see you again before Eirin wises up to your game and puts a halt to it, and outsmarting the lunatic goddess of wisdom to date her spoiled daughter under her nose so perfectly that she couldn't stop it without harming Kag'ya is no small feat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44144948
what if i went out with the Kaguya in the human village? She likes to sneak out there sometimes. Maybe it would be safer than approaching her in her palace.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>44103947
Good job.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44145627
The problem actually gets worse if you run around with her in secret, the other anon is right. The key is getting Eirin's trust and approval just enough so she doesn't value you too much and wants you for herself.
If you sneak out too much outside of her watchful gaze it won't be long until you find yourself walking home after dropping Kaguya off and find a few arrows lodged into your back and heart.
The best way to go about it is too approach Kaguya in Eientei and ideally in front of Eirin. Ideally after hitting on, and being rejected by, another women. This can either be Eirin or one of the bnuuies. No matter who you choose its about your reaction to rejection, you'll want to be animated and not take it too seriously as you'll bounce back and ask out the 'guya right after.
If you land the presentation with the precision of a comedian she might just say yes out of amusement and best part is Eirin will think of you as a non-threat. After that comes the balance of making yourself useful to Eirin but not too much while making sure you keep Kags amused so she stays interested until she develops real romantic interest.
Also be sure to resist Tewi's advances, it won't be easy and she'll enjoy watching you squirm.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44154244
The safest way, honestly, is to pass the most impossible task of effectively curing or nullifying the houraisan elixir

[Anonymous No.]

>>44150419
smug brat
she needs another one

[Anonymous No.]

>>44154244
would tewi try to rape me?

[Anonymous No.]

bnnuy

[Anonymous No.]

>>44154244
I like your ideas and prudence but being a comedian is only gonna get you so far. It might make her laugh which is great(it's one way to alleviate her boredom, which is crucial) but it wont make her wet. You got to have a real mutual physical attraction for a relationship with her to ever really work out.

You can go to Eirin's clinic and ask for drugs that make you attractive. This is of course done before you attempt to court the princess. Start bodybuilding so you can get a nice aesthetically pleasing physique. Supplement your effort with drugs. She'll be impressed and attracted to the body you worked so hard to get. Id add in getting big dick drugs but thats for when you have her. The crucial thing i mentioned earlier is making her forget about her boredom. You can talk to her about the Outside World and bring things from here for her to interact with. Talk about books, movies, video games, philosophy, politics and everything in between to keep her on her cute moonie toes.

Another important thing you can do is that you can also adopt some characteristics from Mokou. The reason why i say this is because Mokou is pretty much the only human Kaguya ever truly was interested in aside from the emperor. One important thing you can take from Mokou is actually fighting Kaguya. Fighting her would make her even more interested in you as it seems to be something she enjoys and she'll respect you. This is the most risky/rewarding thing you can do since she would kill you unless you maybe try to bargain with her so you have non lethal fights.
This of course entails being magically and physically strong just enough to make her have fun fighting you.

Aside from that you could also try to garner a reputation by performing whatever great or notable feats you can think of to make her more interested. I'd also like to touch on something, something that works in favour of 'guyafags like us. She is still the one in charge of Eientei. Eirin can fume and fret all day but if Kaguya finds a a cute terran boy she likes Eirin will just have to deal with it. And no, Eirin cant just use underhanded tactics or trickery to get him out of the picture. Kaguya is too smart and cunning herself to fall for that.

[Anonymous No.]

Forget all that, all you need to do to date not only Kaguya but any girl is __________________________________________________________________________just bee yourself____________________________________________________________________________

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095186
Didn't ask

[Anonymous No.]

Her noose looks like a mustache

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095186
'guya sex...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44095186
I want a mob Inaba

[Anonymous No.]

lazy NEET Queen

[Anonymous No.]

>>44184390

neet kaguya