Everyone's favourite magician, youkai exterminator, car mechanic, do it all witch

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

she's so pretty god I want to choke her

[Anonymous No.]

>>43918436
>favourite magician
Patchouli
>youkai exterminator
Reimu
>car mechanic
Nitori

[Anonymous No.]

>>43919175

[Anonymous No.]

Well anon, do you?
>she plays on Nightmare difficulty
>can you keep up?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Oh, you've got an ass on you aight
See that's what she's talkin' abou’
Spread yo ass open, girl

You can do the magician shaker, huh?
The magician shaker, give me the magician shaker, Shake yo ass
Take your hands off it and shake that shit, pull your bloomers up, I know you can shake it
Shake it!
Yeah, that’s some magician ass right there. Oh yeah, that'll work. You got that booty girl. God damn. It look good sis?
(Yuh.)
Yeah, nice huh? Alright, that'll work for 'em. Put that condom on, you ready to sit on that shit?
(Let’s just get it over with)
Alright let’s get it over with

[Anonymous No.]

What car do you think Marisa would drive?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>43920006
The broom

[Anonymous No.]

>>43920006
>What car do you think Marisa would drive?
An interesting question when you consider the following:
>she's a westaboo, so probably something American
>she's a woman, so has to be an automatic. Also easier to booze cruise in an automatic, which she would definitely do
>her danmaku is flashy and powerful, so her choice in vehicle would reflect that
>she has a big hat, so interior space would be nice
My vote goes to 1964 convertible Mustang V8. Ticks all the boxes, with the bonus being an open top that allows ample room for her hat to flow freely in the Gensokyo winds as she booze cruises through the Human Village
>>43920736
>The broom
But seriously though this lol

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>43919175
imagine letting a kappa work on your car
they’re guaranteed to turn it into a death trap

[Anonymous No.]

>>43921308
Human inventors are inherrantly superior since they remain on task and don't add cock sucking attachments to blenders.
That's just asking for trouble.

[Anonymous No.]

ah yes our favorite stealing witch

[Anonymous No.]

>>43920006
1989 SAAB 900 Turbo

[Anonymous No.]

>>43920904
>Also easier to booze cruise in an automatic
Skill issue.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43918436
Would Marisa take interest in an outsider? Or maybe she's just only interested in magic? Our world is likely to be boring for her

[Anonymous No.]

>>43921622
I would pin her as being naturally curious, so I think she'd be interested in anything out of the ordinary.

[Anonymous No.]

Mandatory Marisa tummy pr0n

[Anonymous No.]

>>43921993
Teaching Marisa all about computers!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43920006
>TONIGHT, on Top Gear; Marisa is our celebrity guest 'borrowing' a reasonably priced car

[Anonymous No.]

>>43925750
She can't reach the accelerator pedal THOUGH

[Anonymous No.]

>>43920006
She would ride a Harley and you know it

[Anonymous No.]

I want Marisa to set me up with a continuous line of youkai suitors, each more terrible then the last, while I foolishly continue to use her services without ever learning anything.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43927021
Okay sure the date with the kappa girl almost nearly ended with me drowning, and the date with that Oni girl had me wake up in Eintei with severe alcohol poisoning and a skeleton resembling a bag of sand - but it can't possibly get any worse. Miss Marisa said that all I had to do was make a few more down payments nad my romantic fulfillment and bloodlines prosperity was guaranteed!

[Anonymous No.]

is Marisa the flattest girl in Gensokyo?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43918436
Sweaty steamy sex with this magician

[Anonymous No.]

>>43927021
Kogasa: I was found deep in the woods almost dead from exposure after going out with her during a monsoon (I am easily swayed)

Banki: I got beat up while we were spooking drunks (banki ran off)

Luna: it was going well until the other fairies pranked me leaving me with 3 broken bones and washed up on the banks of the river. (The last thing I heard was a choir of laughing fairies)

Kosuzu: she was pretty cute and while not a youkai it was really nice. I was wondering why Marisa set me up with her her until she pulled out a suspicious book. When I woke up Kosuzu was apologizing profusely and Reimu was barely able to drag me to Eientei. (I avoided books for awhile after that)

Momoji: I got lost on the mountain. according to a crow tengu I fell down into a ravine not a part of her patrol route and thus she wouldn't help me. (At least she shared her rations with me, they sucked)

Yukari: I thought I struck gold with her since she was so kind, intelligent, and witty. Unfortunately I seemed to anger her saying, 'I can't believe such a wonderful girl like you is only seventeen!' After a nightmarish experience in a long tunnel with nothing but eyes staring at me I'll need therapy for a few years. (I thought she was real cute too, don't know why everyone laughs when I tell that story)

Kaguya: I was surprised and a bit off put that my therapist was my next suitor but surprisingly she was very thoughtful. Even though she was a bit of a haughty and arrogant princess she seemed to understand me the most and told me a wonderful parable that helped me get over several terrible incidents. It was going great, then Eirien served us tea and I woke up in a ditch with a note on me. (The note read something like, 'those that fly to close to the moon will meet the flames of the sun)

Takane: Easily the coolest of the bunch but then we got in a heated argument with some blue kappa and I made the blunder of saying something along the lines of, "What I thought you guys were the same kind of youkai" and two robotic fists flew out and I went flying. (I broke my jaw and got knocked out, it was said that I landed on a mud paddy and thats why I survived my massive 'jump')

Buts its all okay, surely the next one will work out, I trust Marisa!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43932666
Please write more of these Satan-kun

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>43932790
>>43932790
>>43932790
>>43932790
Parsee: She was pretty cute and I rather like blondes so that was a plus but she was rather strange at first. I just saw past that since most youkai are strange, but she was married to her job and it didn't work out very well. (I asked Marisa about the strange straw dolls I find behind my house sometimes but she said not to worry about it...)

Satori: Satori was real well spoken and had an elegant air so that was cool. I thought we really hit it off and she even showed me her collection of real cool pets! Even though she doesn't like going out it didn't bother me much until I started melting, she forgot to mention that her pet raven was minorly radioactive. (Fortunately Eientei agreed to treat my radiation sickness, I think it amused her, she didn't let me see Kaguya)

Clownpiece: I was pretty weary about what happened before with the fairies but she seemed real genuine and there was rarely a dull moment with her around! Even if it was a little awkward having to meet and constantly donate to the shrine we were getting pretty cozy until she came over to my house in secret and almost burned it down. (I choose not to recall what happened after she had me stare into her torch)

Hatate: She was kinda cool at first with her powers and job reporting in the news and stuff. I thought we might start going steady until I went to her house and saw some rather uncomfortable things. I swear I see black wings every now and then flying overhead but Marisa tells me i'm just imaging things. (I ran really fast from her house)

Aunn: I wasn't really into her if i'm honest but she started growing on me. I thought she was kinda cute by the time she stabbed me with her horn while trying to give me a running hug, sending me to the hospital. (I swear Eirin is only treating me because she finds it amusing to watch me in pain)

Waggy: I learned two things: Mermaids are possessive, and I can't hold my breathe for longer than one and half minutes. (i'm never going around the lake again)

Rumia: I'm not really into lolis but she is rather cute and seeing her fly around in an uncanny black sphere is relaxing. Just don't accept dinner dates since she has a rather different interpretation of 'having you for dinner' than a human does. (Her skull collection is cool though)

Benben: I'm not big into music but listening to her perform was a blast. Her sister was pretty nice too and I like their concerts. I really thought this one would work out but unfortunately when I mentioned that I didn't know the difference between a biwa and a lute things quickly escalated (how was I supposed to know she'd take that personally?!)

Reisen: I was rather weary even if she was super cute since she worked under Eirin but the white haired witch didn't seem to mind. She's super cute and kind and petting her head was real nice. Sadly I got caught in a prank by the little black haired one and Reisen misunderstood everything when she caught me in my underwear with the black haired rabbit crying like a crocodile! (I swear I wasn't doing anything! did you know that rabbits kick real hard?)

Koakuma: At first I thought I was in for a great since you know, succubus and all that. However, she barely had the time to even talk to me much less go on a date since she's taking care of that woman-child all day. (Probably for the best, I had a chance to look in her journal and none of her fetishes were wholesome. in the worst of ways)

Wriggle: Not my first choice but I thought she was a real nice girl actually, and i'm not afraid of bugs. At least thats what I thought. (Never dating a bug youkai again)

Marisa is super kind to take the time with a problem client like me... Even though I keep coming back she never raises the rates. I'm sure one day things will work out! surely they will!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43935015
Man, anon sure is difficult, not being able to find a partner even with Marisa's help.
That guy she set up with Reimu hit it off with her right away, and he's a super clumsy motherfucker, who trips so often that he's got bruises everywhere at all times. Really makes you respect Reimu and her devotion to her husband.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43925716
God dammit.
>>43926834
Got that distinctive Harley rasp.

[Anonymous No.]

Man, that guy's got some bad luck with girls. I'm glad I'm in a happy, committed relationship with a normal girl who works a normal job.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43935015
Maybe Anon should ask Eirin on a date.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43932666
I'm actually more curious about how Kaguya ended up working as a therapist.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43932666
Kaguya used to have hundreds of men asking for her hand in marriage but now she needs Marisa's help. Things surely are different in Gensokyo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43939726
I want a full page of writing for the shitshow that would be this event.

[Anonymous No.]

Marisanal

[Anonymous No.]

>>43940372
She clearly likes him, she is so kind to him and always treats him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43940394
I don't think Eirin's right for him. Someone who can't get through the Hippocratic Oath without breaking into laughter is a warning sign...

[Anonymous No.]

>>43940410
If going for good and decent people has worked out like this, doing the exact opposite and going to the one woman who takes active enjoyment from seeing you hurt will work out amazingly.
It's science.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43940492
Maybe the Mountain Gods are next? There's an easy tramway up there for easy traversal, plus the miko is kinda cute.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43940577
It would be impossible to fuck up a date with Kanako. All you'd have to is get your foot in the door and you're golden.
Anyways, my vote goes to Futo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43940686
>It would be impossible to fuck up a date with Kanako.
You lack imagination.

[Anonymous No.]

bump

[Anonymous No.]

>>43940686
Futo is a bona-fide amazing wife candidate. As long as you're into self-made widows.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43935015
I wonder if Marisa ever would send people to her not-mother as a joke or way of disposing of them

[Anonymous No.]

>>43952199
>genuinely trying to help mom find love
>doesn't understand why they never come back
>keep trying, never actually talk to her about anything

[Anonymous No.]

>>43935015
Any more coming our way, anon?

[Anonymous No.]

Marisabutt

[Anonymous No.]

>>43952238
Mima misunderstood and thought Marisa was sending her sacrifices. It's difficult being a witch with a ghost witch mom who wouldn't know romance if it slugged her in the stomach

[Anonymous No.]

>>43923988
Good to see Marisa is doing good in tummy inspection day

[Anonymous No.]

>>43935015
>> none of her fetishes were wholesome.
Could you kindly elaborate?
Captcha: P0RSHH. What is this onomatopoeia?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43964829

[Anonymous No.]

>>43964934
Tell that NIGGER hobo woman to stop leaning against expensive cars.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43964934
I want Marisa to take me for a ride!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43955360
Only because you asked and I enjoy shortform stories.

Kyouko: Green haired dogs make a bit weary considering what happened last time but she was nice if not a bit loud and plus it was real cool watching her rehearse for her concert. My hearing however hasn't entirely recovered and I fear I won't entirely regain it. (The lungs on that youkai are unreal)

Satano: She was interesting at least and cute enough and the dancing thing was kinda cool. Though after getting lost in an endless void with nothing but closed doors I couldn't open after trying to hug her from behind as a surprise I gained a new phobia. (I left all the doors inside my house open for a few months after that)

Futo: She wasn't as filled out as I would like but her high energy and slightly archaic way of speaking grew on me. After my getting caught in a wildfire during a picnic date I narrowly escaped death by ducking into the nearby stream. (She didn't even say sorry)

Kokoro: it was actually pretty easy to date someone that displayed their emotions so readily and I was having a good enough time. It was enjoyable teaching her about emotions until she decided she was a different kind of youkai and started picking fights left and right. (After getting hit with one too many stray danmaku bullets I remembered why I don't like broken bones)

Murasa: I don't like getting overly wet when I don't have too but she was pretty exciting to be around and real outgoing. It was a bright and sunny day when we went down to the river, it was a dark night when I washed up outside the village. ( I learned how to hold my breath real well after my time with Waggy)

Iku: I was pretty surprised to go out on a date or two with a celestial and stuff but despite her being a bit languid when she can get away with she was a real good girl. It was just a shame that when she was showing off her powers I happened to pop open an umbrella since she said she was going to make it rain. (supposedly when I washed up in Eirin's clinic she had a good laugh as she restarted my heart)

Eiki: I was pretty nervous to meet up with a yama and all but at first she was rather affable even if she was often busy and couldn't make much time. It turned out this was an elaborate trap however as once she got to know me a bit more she went on the offensive to lecture me endlessly about my dating preferences. (My legs fell asleep and I swear I could feel the hair on my chin grow during the course of the lecture)

Joon: I try not to question why i'm paired up with certain girls as they're usually top quality, still Joon was something else entirely. I didn't mind her money grubbing nature nor getting into some hairbrained schemes, plus bantering with her was real fun. Unfortunately when she found out that I wasn't as rich as Marisa vaguely implied I was she went her own way. (I'm sure it's not related but I swear I lost my coin pouch)

[Anonymous No.]

>>43965529
to be fair, at least you split with Iku before you could make it to her room.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43965529
Good times, anon! Keep going, love is surely just around the corner, I can feel it!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43920904
>she's a westaboo
Nah, she's incredibly patriotic. She'd definitely be a Daihatsu girl.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43965529
Marisa would set you up with Patchy just to distract her while she steals her shit