>>40291844
I just received my JLPT N4 results, failed by 2 points. I am not so upset about the test specifically, but it has confirmed some things I have been thinking for a while.
I am 24 and living in Chicago, my dream has been to move to Japan since I was a about 11 years old. About 6 years ago I started seriously learning Japanese, took my first college class, even though I had already learned Hiragana and Katakana from a young age. I sailed through 2 years in college without doing much HW because it was all just so easy. I have a great memory for nouns. After getting out of school I realized that I had to start to learn how to study so I decided to start to study for the JLPT because it would be a goal every year that I could see my progress. I failed my first year N5, by 30 some points. I thought I was ready but I relied too much on class information and just didn't study enough. then I kinda got in a rut and although I studied some, I really didn't commit to Japanese for a while. I probably tried to do at least 15 minutes a day but I wasn't really working hard at it at all.
Flash forward a couple years and I had started to study again, passed the N5 and was feeling good about life. 2011 was me hitting my stride. I had finally learned how to study. I did Rosetta Stone, got the Japanese TV channel and watched as much as I could, downloaded dramas, got through the entire Basic Japanese Grammar book, tried to read children's books, got a lang-8 account and started writing journals at least once a week, started Anki, read Common Japanese Collocations, got the Tobira book and started it, picked up some manga, got a Japanese exchange student, started speaking only Japanese with my husband in public. I was pretty much AJATT. I am not going to say I did great at all these things, but I definitely tried. I think I tried everything because a lot of things didn't work too well for me. So I wasn't the best student, but I was doing Japanese at LEAST an hour a day.
So October 2011 rolls around and I decide I need to start studying for the JLPT N4. I did nothing but study for the JLPT so long, my brain actually hurt every day. I did practice tests, worked on grammar, bought a couple of listening books and studied specifically for that test for 2 straight months.
I just received my results, I failed. I only failed by 2 points, but it made me realize that I actually guessed on almost every question on the test. I could not understand the listening at all!
So here I am, I have put 6 years or more of my life into this language, I have worked my ass off, I even have definite plans to move to Japan April 2013 to join a language school with my husband for a year. We already have 1/3 of the money saved up. And I feel like maybe I am just too stupid to learn this language. I have tried so hard and I just keep failing. We just made friends with a Japanese couple and I can't understand anything they say, I am defaulting to my husband just to be able to converse with them. Plus its super hard to watch him pick up the language with ease and pass all the tests with flying colors.
So I guess I need some help. I am ready to just give up the language completely, but I have no idea what that will do to my life and my relationships (I have already told my whole family I am moving to Japan) Should I just give up? Is there anyway I could pull myself back up and continue with it when I have failed so may times before? I have poured so much blood sweat and tears into this language!! I am sorry for the long post but I really need some help! (Please don't respond with a がんばれ！or "you can do it!" that's really not what I need right now...