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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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3687813 No.3687813 [Reply] [Original]

You fall asleep, and when you wake up you see this.

what do you do /jp/

>> No.3687820

Ask her if she can take me to Gensokyo.

>> No.3687823

nothing because she is a fictional character that doesn't exist, so the only conclusion I can come up to is that I am hallucinating in a stupor induced by the strong smell of the piss etched in the floor.

>> No.3687826
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3687826

I report and sage the OP's thread.

>> No.3687829

Turn off the computer

>> No.3687833

I'd be confused because I'm pretty sure you have to be conscious to cross the river. I must be hallucinating.

I mean, there's no way the Yama that isn't even responsible for my district would come here, right?

>> No.3687832

I yell at my roommate for smoking pot in the room while I'm sleeping (again).

>> No.3687838

Good morning.

>> No.3687852

I wonder if all Yamas are as kind as Shiki.

>> No.3687865

I sing.

>> No.3687878 [DELETED] 

Go to Hell.

>> No.3687879

Forehead crusher.

>> No.3687883
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3687883

She asks you to say her full name 10 times in a row.

What is your procedure?

>> No.3687887

>This is the rod on which she writes charges and with which she beats the guilty.
>People who have done wrong are beaten many, many times in direct proportion to their sins, and she keeps beating them until they repent.
>The weight of rod is the heaviness of the sins written on it.
Oh shit.

>> No.3687891

>>3687832
You roommate smokes pot in your room while you're asleep?

>> No.3687888
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3687888

Repent and accept punishment.

>> No.3687897

>>3687888
PAN!

>> No.3687900

>>3687888
PAN!

>> No.3687909

>>3687897
>>3687900
Masochistmind

>>3687891
Yes, and because he doesn't want to get kicked out, he puts this stopper thing in the crack under the door and leaves the window closed. It annoys the fuck out of me.

>> No.3687912

>>3687909

Dude, seriously?

I'd be all like, "pass that shit, nig."

Or is he a little weed bitch that doesn't like to pass? If so, break his knees and smoke ALL his weed in front of him.

>> No.3687915

>>3687909
Rat him out to the cops and find one that stays out of your room.

>> No.3687918

>>3687909

Dude, if he won't share then report that whore and have the whole room to yourself.

>> No.3687929

i lol cause i'm catholic and tell eki i don't believe her.

then i splash her with the holy water i keep on me and watch the heretic burn.

>> No.3687937
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3687937

>>3687929
what would you do if this showed up

>> No.3687944

Go into long debate about the true nature of morality and justice.

Justice>Judgment.

>> No.3687954

>>3687912
He doesn't like to share, else he wouldn't hole himself up in our room to smoke it. And he doesn't smoke it when I'm awake...only when I'm asleep or not there. He puts the joint(s) out as soon as I wake up, and tries to hide it and shit...after all, it's not like I can tell that THE ROOM IS SO FUCKING FULL OF SMOKE THAT I WOKE UP or anything.
>>3687915
>>3687918
They'll just put another guy in his place, I'm staying in an apartment next semester.

>> No.3687958

>>3687813
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM. Also that's an awesome looking hat. What's that stick thing, is it some sort of weapon?

I have no idea what's going on here, I just saw this on the homepage.

>> No.3687962

>>3687958

She shoves the stick thing up your ass.

>> No.3687963
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3687963

>You fall asleep, and when you wake up you see this.

I do nothing out of the ordinary.
Is waking up next to my wife supposed to be weird or something?

>> No.3687966

>>3687944
Pretty sure sassing her is a sin. You aren't going to be able to convince her she doesn't exist if that's what you're thinking.

>> No.3687970

>>3687944
I would just ask if she wanted to watch some Kamen Rider with me.
All touhous dig Kamen Rider.

>> No.3687974

>>3687958
>awesome hat

Welcome to Touhou

>> No.3687982

>>3687974
I think I'm going to leave now, this confuses me.

>> No.3687996
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3687996

>>3687954

>He doesn't like to share,

What a fag.

People like those are almost as bad as weed-bitches and moochers.

>> No.3688002
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3688002

>>3687996
>People like those are almost as bad as weed-bitches and moochers.
oh god I'm a moocher
I DON'T KNOW ANY SELLERS THOUGH AND MY FRIENDS ARE TOO GENEROUS TO ACCEPT MONEY

>> No.3688009

>>3688002
Um, I've never bought weed in my life but can't you just. you know. ask your friends where they get their?

>> No.3688014

>>3688002
Then ask your friends where they buy, perhaps?

Really though, all druggies and stoners are total faggots anyway.

>> No.3688023

>>3688009

Only cops ask that.

>> No.3688035
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3688035

>>3688014
>because the guv'ment told me so

In any case, I suppose so, I'd rather not deal with their shady friends, but I guess they can't be that bad if they grow as well as they do.

In any case, how did a discussion of my wife end up segueing into weed

>> No.3688074

>>3688035
>how did a discussion of my wife end up segueing into weed

Because /jp/.

>> No.3688085

I met my dealers by simply hanging out with people and smoking with them.

>>3688074

/jp/ - weed/general

>> No.3688086

You guys shouldn't smoke weed. It causes cancer. And AIDS. And earthquakes.

>> No.3688091

run away.

>> No.3688092

>>3688086

I guess that's why cancer patients and rich lawyers smoke weed.

>> No.3688104

>>3688092
Cancer patients have cancer and smoke weed.
That's exactly my point.

>> No.3688109 [DELETED] 

Not that this thread started off particularly great, but... go the fuck back to /b/, please.

>> No.3688110

>>3688104

Precisely. And since it assuages their suffering, it can do nothing but good things for you and me.

So what you're saying here is that we should smoke more weed? I am all right with this course of action.

>> No.3688119

You guys shouldn't smoke weed. It causes you to want to take a stance when it is discussed on the internet.

>> No.3688124

>>3688110
It's obviously the weed that causes them to have cancer, fool.

>> No.3688137

The weed causes cancer, which causes them to smoke more weed. It's a never-ending cycle.

>> No.3688139

I get more carcinogens from my morning cereal than I do from a toke of marijuana

>> No.3688142

>>3688139
You only think that because your marijuana gave you brain cancer.

>> No.3688154

http://www.salem-news.com/articles/january112008/cancer_treatment_11008.php

>(SALEM, Ore.) - A new study reveals that Medical Marijuana can be an effective treatment for cancer, that is the word announced by doctors in Germany who concluded that this clarification of the mechanism of cannabinoid action may help investigators to further explore their therapeutic benefit.
>It is already known that marijuana can stimulate the appetite of patients, but researchers have learned that cannabinoids, in addition to having palliative benefits in cancer therapy, have been associated with anti-carcinogenic effects, which are responsible in preventing or delaying the development of cancer.

If anyone would like further information about the anticarcinogenic properties of cannabis, I'll gladly shovel them up.

>> No.3688155

>>3688154
Yes please, give me more.

>> No.3688161

Shikieiki = Weed???

>> No.3688179

>>3688161
Shikieiki disapproves of weed. For every joint of weed you smoke, you get one beating with her judgement rod.

>> No.3688180

>>3688155

Anti-Tumor effects of THC[the main active ingredient of cannabis]

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0CYP/is_10_108/ai_68148345/

>> No.3688181

>>3688180
Some more please.
I'm writing a paper.

>> No.3688183

>>3688179
No, weed is fine. She only disapproves of the laziness and sloth weed often causes.

>> No.3688185

>>3688181
Google, do you know it?

>> No.3688189

>>3688185
Arc seems to have convincing and sensible arguments on hand.

>> No.3688188

>>3688181
>>3688179

A lengthy dissertation on the inhibiting effects Cannabinoids have on malignant growths, tumors, etc.

http://www.canorml.org/healthfacts/OEHHA_Prop_65_MJ_Canc.htm

>>3688179

>Shikieiki disapproves of weed.

That's odd, because in the feudal ages of Japan, people grew and smoked shitloads of weed. I'm fairly sure that there are lush, green fields of potent cannabis in Gensokyo.

In fact, that's why everyone's always so happy and content. The tea they drink is made with cannabis leaves, and the cookies they eat with their tea are infused with cannabis.

>> No.3688213

close this window. duh.

>> No.3688220

>>3688188


Also...everything suddenly makes sense now.

Why Reimu lazes around most of the time...why everyone in Gensokyo is always horny...why people make jokes about Reimu eating 'grass'...

...goddamn, it all makes sense, they're stoned as hell.

>> No.3688223
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3688223

>>3688220

So is that why Kaguya and Mokou are incredibly angry and just want to kill each other?

Drugs don't affect them, after all.

>> No.3688227

>>3687813
Obviously I died in my sleep ad I'm now being judged. I prepare myself for an eternity in hell.

>> No.3688228

I'd wake up one more time

>> No.3688231
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3688231

>>3688179
>Shikieiki disapproves of weed. For every joint of weed you smoke, you get one beating with her judgement rod.

>implying a Death Judge cares for the convoluted legal systems of mortals

>> No.3688233

>>3688223

Or they're hopped up on the SUPER PCP that Eirin makes.

PCP will make you want to kill a nigger.

>> No.3688239

>>3688223

Your original point makes great sense, though. Imagine never being able to get high. Now you know why they irrationally hate each other.

>> No.3688246

>>3688233
I think I might be on PCP all the time.

>> No.3688256

Shiki disapproves of weed, but I'm sure she'd be fine if you smoked some Higanbana.

>> No.3688263

>>3688256

Obviously what we need to do is get Shiki high.

>> No.3688269

I put on my silly hat and frilly clothes.

>> No.3688272

>>3688256
Would that kill you? How poisonous are they?

If so, she HATES suicide. YOU GO TO HELL.

>> No.3688274

>>3688233
But there are no black people in Genoskyo

>> No.3688279

Roll for initiative.

>> No.3688282

>>3688274


Figure of speech. I just meant that PCP puts you in a mood to destroy someone's shit really badly.

>> No.3688283
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3688283

>>3688263

You do realize that Shiki isn't just a normal Yama/judge of hell, right?

She's #5 of the 10 Lord Yamas, Lord Enma the Merciful Saviour. That means that she's probably flanked by unseen Shinigami at all times.

>> No.3688287

>>3688283
[citation needed]

>> No.3688300

>>3688272
Extremely poisonous. Like...more so than foxglove.

>> No.3688306
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3688306

>>3688283


Awesome.

Then we will all smoke weed. I might probably drop the blunt trying to pass it to someone who I can't see, but I'll do my best.

>> No.3688314
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3688314

>>3688287

http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Perfect_Memento:_Encyclopedia:_Yama

In times past, when there were comparatively fewer humans, the cycles of spiritual transmigration were operated with great reliability. The policy of crossing over seven times (plus 3 additional times)(*1) was carried out by the Ten Kings (*2). If the first judgement was succesful, then the cycles of spiritual transmigration would be as gratifying as the sweetest of desserts.

2: King Shinkou the Immovable, King Shoukou the Enlightened One, King Soutei the Wisest, King Fukan of Virtuous Conduct, [King Enma the Merciful Savior], King Henjyou of the Future, King Taizan of Medicine and Healing, King Byoudou of Mercy and Compassion, King Toshi of Strength and Wisdom, and King Gotoutenrin of Limitless Light and Life make up the Ten Kings.

It should be noted that every time Shiki is referred to as "Yama" in PoFV, they actually say "Enma".

>> No.3688319
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3688319

>>3688300
Huh. It's very pretty though.

>> No.3688322
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3688322

Grab the knife and gun I keep under my pillow and assume the optimal combat stance.

>> No.3688324 [DELETED] 
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3688324

>>3688274

>But there are no black people in Genoskyo

prolly not in Genoskyo

but in Gensokyo, Yukari feasts on thick black nigger penis daily and sucks down their cum like she needs it to live

>> No.3688327

>>3688314

Every time the word "Yama" is EVER stated is "Enma".

King Enma however is "Enma-ou". Shikieiki has never been referred to as "Enma-ou".

>> No.3688328

>>3688324

but she does need it to live.

>> No.3688343 [DELETED] 
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3688343

>>3688328

true, she does subsist on the sperm of well-hung black males

>> No.3688491

>>3687813
sage

>> No.3688512

>>3688491
sage goes in all fields

>> No.3688523

>>3688491
XD

>> No.3688528

>>3688523
sage

>> No.3688562

lol epic thread guise xD

>>
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