I wake up in a cold sweat to see The Lockpicking Lawyer standing over my bed, watching me
LPL: So, right away, I’m going to point out a few major security flaws in your home here. As you can see, your front door’s latch bar is not properly secured to the framing of the house, which makes it susceptible to forced entry methods.
Me: p-please! Who are you?! What do you wa-
LPL: Additionally, the lock itself has almost no added security measures to prevent picking and can be easily manipulated by a low skill jiggling attack, which I will demonstrate here.
i watch in horror as he pulls my entire front door out of his back pocket and proceeds to open the lock in a matter of seconds without even looking
Me: oh god! what do you want with me?! Why are you here?! I-I don’t have anything for you! Please, just leave!
LPL: Now, let’s move on to your back door, which, I have to say, was quite disappointing. It seems to be a Chinese copy of the Abus model 37RK/80, however it sports a much thinner 1/16th inch shackle that seems to be made of a Zinc alloy. This makes it quite easy to cut with relatively little effort.
Me: Tell me what you want! Oh god what are you saying?! Just tell me what you want and leave!
LPL: The sticker on the back markets it as a “premium security padlock”, yet it has no security pins and the mechanism could be easily manipulated by a low skill attacker. To demonstrate this I will be using a standard tension wrench and applying bottom of the key weight tension.
Me: wh- what is this? Is this some kind of sick jo-
LPL: one is binding. Click out of one.
Me: PLEASE LEAVE! I don’t know who you are! Please! Tell me what you want!
LPL: nothing on two... three... four is binding. Click out of four
Me: I don’t know what you’re saying!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!
LPL: and just like that, it’s open. Now, there is one last thing I’d like to show you. Your window, while quite difficult to open from the outside, is especially susceptible to forced entry methods. Allow me to demonstrate.
terrified, I watch as he completely shatters my window with his bare hands, spraying my room with shards of broken glass
LPL: In any case, that’s all I have for you today. If you do have any questions or comments about this, please put them below. If you liked this video and would like to see more like it, please subscribe, and as always, have a nice day.
he leaps out the window, without another word, and I am left alone in the deafening silence, still unable to comprehend the events that just unfolded. I stare at the broken window. At my opened 4 pound padlock. At my front door laying on the ground. In the midst of such chaos, one thing is certain: I will never feel safe again