Write a letter to a Touhou

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Kogasa,

You are a very sweet umbrella! You are kind and good natured, and you are very scary too! I know that though you scare humans (you are very scary!) You still would not hurt a human like many wicked youkai like Rumia or Yuuka would. I hope you know that everyone enjoys having you around! Thank you Kogasa!

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Kogasa,

Your attempts at surprising people are lame and for that the punishment is being beaten and bred I know where you live so there’s no safety for you! Start running

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Sanae,

No matter what everyone else says, I know you are a pure girl, so stay strong! Also, your armpits are very sexy! Sexier than Reimu's!

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
Dear Yuuka

I don't fear you, you will never find me and kick my ba-

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Letty,

Words alone cannot describe how much appreciation & love I have for your kind: Your beauty shines brighter than a diamond, and your smile brings enough warmth to go through even the harshest events that can occur at the season you hold so dear to your heart, and quite frankly, so should we! But unfortunately, the thoughts of my brethren have long since been corrupted with false ideals that will perhaps bring an end to the world as we know it: Seeking heat for such frivolities as going to the beach, while our dearest elderly people are at risk. How selfish! Meanwhile, with Winter, Children & Adults alike are in awe at the sight of this white landscape, very much evocative of peace & beauty, and our aging people are no longer at risk, so long as they stay at home!
With that in mind, I truly wish you the best, and implore you to come visit us more often, for you bring the happiest, safest of times.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
Hey, stop badmouthing Yuuka. She'll only hurt you if you hurt her flowers.

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Lily White,

I think you are incredibly cute and even a little sexual. The way your cute fairy wings flap in the spring air strokes a feeling inside of me that I just cannot explain. You have 2 days to pack essential items because I am going to kidnap you so you can be all mine. With me, you can have lots of fun and eat all the candy you want! Doesn't that sound fun Lily? One more thing, it is useless to resist. Your fate has been decided. Love you!

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Suika,

I know you have a particular fondness of sake, but have you ever sampled any other alcohols - like beer win or mead? If yes, which one was your favorite. Personally, I'm in an opposite predicament - good quality sake is unavailable where I live as well as the ingredients needed to brew it.

Recently I began trying my hand at homebrewing and have made some pretty good meads so far - one flavored with ginger, other with dried apples and pears with a third one (a cyser spiced with herbs and spring flowers that I collected myself) on the way. So I'd like to make you an offer - how about we trade a few bottles of my mead with a few bottles of your sake? Also, I've heard that your good friend Yuugi has a bowl which raises the quality of sake that's poured into it. I wonder if it works that way for other drinks.

What would you say about this offer? Take care.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707681
Anon, why did you stop in the middle of a sentence? That's really rude.

[Anonymous No.]

How will we send our letters?

[Anonymous No.]

>>35710680

[Anonymous No.]

Dear 2hus

You are all slutes

Sincerely me

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Sanae,

die

Yours truly, Moriya shrine follower.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35714586
you on the left

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Cirno

Kindly piss off

Love, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35720214
Dear Anon

Make me

Love, Cirno

[Casey Anthony No.]

>>35707391
Dear Mokou,

You'll always be better than Kaguya. I'm glad you have found a good friend, like Kiene. Please don't allow yourself to be forgotten because you're definitely a top 5, 2hu.

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Hecatia

Your country is very pretty. Please come visit me sometime, i would appreciate if you could show me around.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35717460
bad picture

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Shou

You are the best cat and I love you even if no one knows who you are.

Love, Your Biggest Fan

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Yama Eiki,

allowing more cruel desires to be unleashed in a virtual enviroment doesn't count as a sin, right?

Sincerely, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Yuyuko,

Food is in the fridge.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35721985
This could make for an interesting argument..

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Joon,

Sorry to be a bother but I didn't get a shout-out on your Twitch stream a couple of minutes ago even though I donated the 1000 dollar minimum (with an extra 150 to show my support for your great streams!). I just thought I should let you know since this is the fourth time this week that this happened so it might be a bug in your system. No rush to fix it haha I just want to make sure my donations are reaching you! :D

Also if you need any help I can totally be a mod for you! Just offering haha

Your #1 supporter, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35722056
not for long

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
Rumia is a good yokai she doesn’t eat people without a reason the reason is to make her big jiggly boobies bigger

[Anonymous No.]

huh seems like i dont have jiggly boobies in my filter yet

[Anonymous No.]

>>35714475
She seems very happy to get kidnapped by anon

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Patchouil,

Is your fridge running?

Yours truly anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35735512
Dear Anon

Thank you for notifying me that Cirno has escaped

Yours truly, Patchouli

[Anonymous No.]

>>35739479
Dear Patchouli

Question why is Cirno your fridge miss magician, also do you own a fridge "fridge" in that manor?

Yours truly (again), Anon

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Aya,

I'd like to cancel my subscription to Bunbunmaru Newspaper as I've given up on my paper mache hobby and no longer need useless scrap paper.

Sincerely, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35739479
Dear Patchouli,

You will never catch me.

Kiss my ass, Cirno

[Anonymous No.]

I want to assfuck Marisa on a hot day, two weeks after her last bath. I want to rub my cock all over ass and use the sweat as lube. I want her to fart on my dick and let me rub my dick all over her sweaty feet then lick them clean. Then I want to force her to sniff my smelly cock until she gags, at which point I would shove it in her mouth and facefuck her until I came all over her face, then I'd smear the cum around with my smelly penis.
After the sweaty, musty sex was over, I would kiss her feet and shove my face in her ass and huff the fumes until I passed out.

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Sakuya,

As the years go by, I still find myself drawn to you. I don't know how it happened, but I don't regret it.
I find it truly admirable that a human can have amazing abilities and honed talent. I liked the concept of time manipulation long before I discovered there were other characters in fiction that shared that ability. Even knowing they exist, I still view you as the first to have it as a natural ability. Remilia might be the only one you care about, just remember that no matter what others think, say, or how little attention you get as time continues to move on its own, I will always love you. I may not be a lot, I may not be the best, but I won't give up. Whether it's because I can't, or I simply won't. Even to this day, I don't know what drew me in. It's Sakuya herself rather than anything else she's associated with.
Take it easy.

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Hina,

Thank you for taking my misfortunes away, and I love it when you spin.

Sincerely, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35748234
That's not a letter you didn't even write an address

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
dear kogasa
show feet

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
Dear nue,

HahahahahahhHahahahahahahahahahhHahahahahhahahahahhahzhahahah

Isawyourtrueformloser hahahahhahahahahhahahaha

We can have makeup sex later in the yokai forest okay?

Love you

[Anonymous No.]

>>35711776
He stopped because you hit him, Yuuka.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35756747
He liked it.

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Rumia,

On the envelope this letter came in, you will find my address. I'm ready to be a snack and have a sufficient amount of spices for you to choose from.

Your meal,
Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35761689
Dear anon,

I can't read.

from, Rumia (actually from Mystia)

[Anonymous No.]

>>35764470
Dear Mystia,

that comma after "from" is unnecessary and ruins the flow of the letter.

Sincerely,
Patchouli

[Anonymous No.]

>>35766754
Dear Patchouli,

I left a surprise for you in the library.

Sincerely, An anonymous skeleton

[Anonymous No.]

>>35766892
Dear Anon. Skeleton,

could specify the location more precisely. I can't seem to find it.

Patchouli

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Patchouli,

I though magicians didn't need normal food, so why do you eat so much of it?

From,
Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35768296
Dear Patchouli,

I suggest sit down at your desk that's where you'll find it.

Anonymous skeleton

[Anonymous No.]

>>35771271
...

[Anonymous No.]

>>35771381
Dear Patchouli,

I'm glad you found the whoopee cushion... wait why are making that face?

Anonymous skeleton

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Kaguya,
I have spotted the imposter amogus gamer outside your house, and he wants to meet you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35771480
S-something w-went u-u-up t-t-t-there...

[Anonymous No.]

>>35771536
So it wasn't the whoopee cushion then...

[Anonymous No.]

>>35771590
No, it wasn't. It took about 4 hours for Koakuma and Sakuya to remove that thing. I refuse to even look at it now

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Cirno

If I decide to go inna woods because of industrial society and its consequences, would you mind providing refrigeration?

[Anonymous No.]

>>35774137
well...um, you just got pranked!

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Patchouli,

You are the cutest 2hu (and the fattest, but i dont judge) i want to be your wife and i wish i could kiss you and gently squish your tummy while we watch The Matrix (1999)

in The Matrix (1999) "Neo" is "The One" but you are "The One" for me, Patchouli

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Kogasa,

BOO

[Anonymous No.]

>>35777336
Don't you mean husband?

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Letty,

lmaoooooo you have the physique of a snowman!

[Anonymous No.]

>>35777710

[Anonymous No.]

>>35778019
Sauce?

[Anonymous No.]

>>35748234
stfu

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Rinnosuke,

If you are getting this letter, that means I've successfully found a way to send things to Gensokyo.
If this is the case, I would like to propose a deal in which we exchange goods that are hard or impossible to obtain otherwise.

Enclosed in this letter are various forms of currency in the outside world. I would kindly ask that it finds it's way to Hakurei Shrine.

Thanks in advance
-Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35777694
What's wrong with you? We're all little girls on the internet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35780280
What use would Reimu get from foreign paper currency

[Anonymous No.]

>>35778019
Dear Letty,

pick your sleeping places carefully and watch out for underage perverts.

Take care, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35785399
toilet paper

[Anonymous No.]

>>35788466
pretty sure she has enough thanks to aya

[Anonymous No.]

>>35785399
It'd be funny. It's like giving the homeless monopoly money.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35788466
That's only applicable to 2020.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35788546
the tengu sure are nice, providing free paper

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Chiyuri

WHERE the FUCK is my weed ?

Sincerely, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35794792
Dear Anon

I smoked it

Love, Chiyuri

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
Dear miss Kirisame

i wanted to thank you for your help and advice against those witches that wanted to kill me. I did what you told me and stole their stuff before making my escape, a few clothes and a chandelier was all i could carry considering my nakedness they are yours if you are interested.
i hope we can meet again in the future under better circumstances, i would love to learn some magic from you if you are willing to teach me of course.

with love, the naked guy you saw running

[Anonymous No.]

>>35802303
What witches?

[Anonymous No.]

>>35806736
Probably Alice and Patchy

[Anonymous No.]

>>35807056
Can Patchy even run?

[Anonymous No.]

>>35807392
Running for too long might be too much but she can fly but I don't think she would chase somebody outside of SDM.

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Kasen,

I was taking a walk the other day and I saw this Oni that look just like you. She was flying around and proclaimed that she would eat the Hakurei Miko. You might want to deal with her befor she destroys your reputation as an honest and hardworking Hermit

Sincerely, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35806736
don't know, some weird dream i had, they had masks so i couldn't see their faces i don't think they were touhou characters just some weird shit my mind made up but one of them had short blonde hair like Alice and it took place inside a house... anyway i just wanted to thank Marisa for her help and advice, i will keep it in mind next time i am in a hurry in real life.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35809994
Do you happen to remember any more details? This sounds like it could be posted on the 2hu dreams thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35817142
> This sounds like it could be posted on the 2hu dreams thread.
i posted some dreams i had in that thread but this one doesn't have to do with touhou except for Marisa appearing out of nowhere.
>Do you happen to remember any more details?
i don't remember why or how all i can remember is that i am naked sitting on a wooden chair inside a room iluminated by candles, theres a bed in front of me with purple sheets on top of that bed two naked girls wearing some creepy masks (not full face masks but kinda like blindfolds with eye sockets) are staring at me. One of them leaves the room, so i get near the one with the short blonde hair and i laid her on the bed (she never said no) but i come to my senses and start thinking about how weird and creepy this whole thing is, this is a trap, "they must be witches trying to do some sort of sex ritual and i am going to get knifed by the end that's why the other chick left" i started thinking. So i turned around, saw a door and ran into it as fast as i could and left the room. As i was making my escape i saw her... Marisa sitting on a chair, she looks at me and tells me "you can't escape empty handed, go there and steal their stuff" i nod at her wisdom and return once again into that damn room. I opened the door and i found the two witches still naked talking to eachother confused maybe worried since their prey escaped , then they noticed me and they freeze i quickly grabbed some clothes on the floor and some chandelier and i ran away while they screamed and tried to pursue me but i managed to find the exit door and i disapeared into the wilderness like the most cunning fox.

thank you Marisa.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35818308
Sounds like a pretty cool one. I wish I dreamed more often.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35778019
>fat on her sides
>youkai
youkai are fatties. no fucking way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35780081
https://nhentai.net/g/117799/3/

[Anonymous No.]

>>35827672
Thanks

[Anonymous No.]

>>35809892
Dear anon,

since Kasen is not an oni, there's no way an oni could look like her, stop trying to smear her reputation. Anyways, thanks for notifying me of this potential new threat.

Sincerely, Reimu

[Anonymous No.]

>>35834705
Dear Reimu,

The Oni could have used magic to look like Kasen or she's a very good Cosplayer. Either way I won't have noticed if it weren't for her Hornes, her eating humans speech or the evil look on her face. Things that don't go well with Kasen. Either you guys should handle it before it gets out of control.

Sincerely, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Alice,

Why do you stuff gunpowder in your dolls?

Sincerly, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Yukari,

there is a sandwich in my fridge. Can you be so nice as to gap it into my room?

PS: the cola too

your one and only NEET friend, Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
Halo, Kogasa? Obciągnij mi kutasa!

[Anonymous No.]

>>35836328

[Anonymous No.]

>>35836328
Silly Anon, Kogasa is from Japan. She can only speak English

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Udonge,

I love you.

Will you go out with me? y/n

[Anonymous No.]

>>35839084
I want to huff her crotch like glue

[Anonymous No.]

>>35841014
n

[Anonymous No.]

>>35748234
hot except feet

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Aunn

Can I pet your belly?

Sincerely, Anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
Dear Kogasa. You suck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35841757
:(

[Anonymous No.]

>>35841663
me too

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Reimu,

There is a bomb in your donation box.

P.S: Any attempts to defuse or dispose of this bomb will cause it to explode immediately.

Love,
-Anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35846454
She'll graze the shockwave

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391
Dear Anon,

This is cringe af, I ain't doing it

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Akyuu,

Be aware. I saw the fairies flying in formation recently, and are stockpiling sweets and rope. I fear that something weird may occur. Please ensure that all men and boys in human village are up to date on their sperm retention tactics. And have some anti-fairy propaganda ready to go. Consider distributing butterfly nets and mason jars with holes poked in the lids.

Sincerely,
Concerned 3rd party.

P.S: Ill buy any "clean" fairies at a fair price in exchange for no questions asked.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35850122
You just did. OP is actually a 2hu in disguise.

[Anonymous No.]

Reimu,

I have information that’ll lead to the arrest of the Moriya conglomerate.

Anonymous

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Benben,

Get benbent.

Anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>35707391

"dea r yuukk a can be wif?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>35841663
Just sniff the inside bit of a used umbrella.

[Anonymous No.]

>>35855913
Dear Anon,

what is a 'wif'? Is it an exotic dish?

-Yuyuko

[Anonymous No.]

>>35858038

Dear Yuyuk o

Ye s.
R

[Anonymous No.]

>>35858498

[Anonymous No.]

Dear Yuyuko,

may I hug you?

-Anon

[Anonymous No.]

towa...