I heard Alice leaks poop.

File: 256 KB, 600x597, 1205174742679.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Conan O'Brien Fri Mar 28 22:34:47 2008 No.338000 [Reply] [Original]

I heard Alice leaks poop.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:36:03 2008 No.338005 File: 44 KB, 564x700, 1206743763002.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] ALICE, THAT'S GROSS. STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:36:12 2008 No.338008 >>338000 My wife's apron will get all shitty. I hope Alice is wearing diapers.

>>	Conan O'Brien Fri Mar 28 22:38:12 2008 No.338012 >>338005 DAN KIM? IS THAT YOU? WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU ANSWER MY EMAILS?

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:38:30 2008 No.338015 >>338005 GOD DAMNIT DAN.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:39:26 2008 No.338021 >>338005 we were wrong about which hole Alice leaks poo from!!

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:42:22 2008 No.338038 File: 94 KB, 502x600, 1206744142873.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] yo- you want some too?

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:43:00 2008 No.338045 File: 82 KB, 300x300, 1206744180400.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] My waifu does not leak poop, stop spreading lies.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:43:21 2008 No.338049 >>338043 that's not mud

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:43:52 2008 No.338043 >>338038 I hope thats mud

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:44:12 2008 No.338055 >>338049 Chocolate then?

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:44:28 2008 No.338056 File: 193 KB, 550x500, 1206744268298.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I...I'm back from work... wh...why do you keep bringing up my failed chocolate experiment?..

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:45:03 2008 No.338060 File: 98 KB, 650x696, 1206744303415.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>338055 >>338056 hivemind...

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:47:23 2008 No.338074 >>338056 Welcome home, Alice. Squeeze

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:48:28 2008 No.338087 File: 50 KB, 183x168, 1206744508895.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>338074 Nnn... I...I was thinking of you all d..day... smells like mint

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:50:04 2008 No.338098 File: 53 KB, 500x696, 1206744604895.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>338087 Alice is mai waifu. And I love these threads.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:50:41 2008 No.338107 File: 76 KB, 208x231, 1206744641047.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>338098 A...Anonymous... blush

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:51:37 2008 No.338116 Conan, look what you did

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:53:52 2008 No.338125 >>338107 YOU'RE THE BEST AROUND! NOTHING'S GONNA EVER KEEP YOU DOWN

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:54:20 2008 No.338137 File: 57 KB, 245x242, 1206744860804.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>338125 Um... Anonymous....

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:54:52 2008 No.338144 >>338005 FUCK YOU MAN NOT COOL

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:56:02 2008 No.338161 File: 41 KB, 220x206, 1206744962846.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I-I-I have to go somewhere tonight... B-but would you like to come?...

>>	Conan O'Brien Fri Mar 28 22:56:11 2008 No.338165 >>338116 WHUT I DO WRONG?

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:56:20 2008 No.338166 >>338137 Hey Alice, let's do that bed top sport for indoor types.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:57:09 2008 No.338172 >>338165 this >>338056 >>338074 >>338087 >>338098 >>338107 >>338125 >>338137 >>338161

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:57:34 2008 No.338176 File: 134 KB, 494x741, 1206745054397.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] s..s..sage

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:58:55 2008 No.338178 >>338161 Sure thing, Alice! Where to? Also, keeping this going for RAGE.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:59:14 2008 No.338191 File: 631 B, 1x1, sage.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Go back to gaia.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 22:59:44 2008 No.338197 File: 114 KB, 405x600, 1206745184155.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>338178 um... I have the tickets to a play...

>>	Nanaya !IRAPEzeAXE Fri Mar 28 23:00:00 2008 No.338199 >>338176 CEO

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:00:15 2008 No.338201
File: 32 KB, 336x336, 1206745215138.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I...I have a confession to make. It's time you learned my secret, Anonymous. I'm actually a 400 pound 38 year old white male who pretends to be Alice. I still live in my mother's basement, and I fap to those who respond to me (Alice). My bedroom smells like piss, and my bed is covered with empty Mountain Dew cans. I have no friends expect for my Marisa pillow.

>>	Conan O'Brien Fri Mar 28 23:00:50 2008 No.338204 >>338201 AHAHAHAHA.... Mountain Dew...

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:01:30 2008 No.338210 >>338197 Which Alice is true? >>338014

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:02:05 2008 No.338213 >>338210 This one.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:02:46 2008 No.338220 >>338210 see >>338213 more dere dere less tsun tsun

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:02:46 2008 No.338221 >>338201 That's not a secret.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:02:46 2008 No.338222 >>338210 As much as I hate to admit it, I think this Alice RP'er is better than than the one in that other retarded thread

>>	RedXIII !CYb3Xjpkk. Fri Mar 28 23:02:52 2008 No.338223 >>338201 its only a confession if its something nobody knows.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:03:32 2008 No.338228 File: 43 KB, 203x238, 1206745412340.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>338201 squeeze..I know...

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:04:07 2008 No.338232

Who are you going to spend Valentines day with?

I hate to say it, but I'm going to be by myself this year. It seems like no one in Gensokyo even remembered to give me any valentines. Isn't that funny? I tried to ask Marisa about it but she said she was too busy and had some stuff to do at the Hakurei shrine. It's alright though, I've got Hourai and Shanghai to keep me company and we're going to make some valentines chocolate maybe just in case some one comes over and wants some chocolate. I'd really like if someone came over, just once. We could drink tea and have chocolate and I could show them my lovely doll collection. I want to show Marisa but she always says she's busy and has to go to the Hakurei shrine. I wonder what she does there? It must be quite an exciting place, but when I try to go there Reimu just tells me to go away and leave her and Marisa alone. It makes me feel a bit sad, but I can always come home and tell Hourai and Shanghai about it. They listen to me. They're good dolls. They never call Alice names like "creepy", "leaks poop" and "freak".

Still, this valentines day I wish I could have found out what it's like to hold someone. I once worked up the nerve to ask Marisa, but she said some horrible things she couldn't possibly have really meant and told me to play with my dolls. It must feel so nice to have someone in your arms. I bet it's really nice. Oh well, maybe next valentines day someone will come here and eat chocolate and we can try holding eachother. It's really curious that no one came this year, isn't it? I guess they were all busy, valentines isn't a holiday or anything. That's probably it. Lots of important stuff can come up on a day like today.

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:04:25 2008 No.338236

It must be wonderful to do small things like eat meals with another person around. It's usually so quiet around here, with no one coming to visit and me being alone all the time. I don't mind it so much, though. I have Hourai and Shanghai and all my dolls to take care of, and they keep me company even if they can't talk. Have I told you how good at listening they are? They'll just sit there and listen for hours to me talking about any little thing. I once tried having a long conversation with Marisa but after a few minutes she told me to shut up. I don't think she meant it though. She said she was busy and going to Hakurei shrine. I probably interrupted her from doing something important and she said some rash words that she didn't really mean.

Getting hugged must be great. I know you'll be surprised by this, but I've never been hugged. It seems like the kind of thing that would make valentines with another person nice. Isn't that funny? Little old me never having been hugged? I think it's kind of funny. I guess I'm just unlucky. I almost got hugged once but Marisa told the person who was going to hug me that I leak poop and then they didn't hug me. I felt a little bit sad but I suppose it's alright since it was just a joke.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:04:31 2008 No.338235 File: 101 KB, 250x309, 1206745471531.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] b-b-b-but!... I st-still love you....

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:04:56 2008 No.338239
File: 309 KB, 1973x1400, 1206745496681.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I really hope I can spend this valentines day with Hourai and Shanghai. For some reason they haven't moved at all, and I'm a little bit sad because they're usually the only ones around besides me and it's hard to find anyone else to listen. It'd be nice to have them up and about because without their help the chocolate I'm going to make will turn out bitter, and that would be just awful if anyone happens to show up. I'm only a little bit sad, because I'm sure Hourai and Shanghai will get up again in time to make chocolate. Just in case anyone drops by. It's funny that no one's ever come by here, isn't it? Not even for valentines chocolates. Can you believe that? I've been here by myself for as long as I can remember. I even made a funny song about it. "The ground is down, the sky is up, and Alice is meant to be alone." Well, actually Marisa made the song about me.

It's a little bit dusty in here, isn't it? All this dust is making my eyes water. I guess I should clean up a little in case anyone comes to have chocolate on valentines day. It would be nice to have someone come. Maybe if they ate my chocolate they might like it enough to even try giving me a hug. It would be my first one. I think that would be really good. Hugging someone must feel so good. I don't leak poop, it's okay to hug me.

I guess I should start getting ingredients for the chocolate. I should get enough for everyone, just in case they all decide to come here and surprise me on valentines. I'll make lots of chocolate. I'm sure everyone will want some.

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:06:27 2008 No.338250

It was a quiet day in The Forest of Magic, just like every other day. The spring air flowed into the room through the open window, bringing with it a cool and refreshing breeze. A young girl was sitting elegantly at her desk, marveling the wondrous object that lay before her.

"I can't believe I let Nitori talk me into testing this thing out for her. It seems so complicated, I can't figure out what goes where and how to set it up. Oh heck, I can't even figure out how to turn it on!

Oh well, at least it was nice talking to someone, even if it resulted in something troublesome like this."

The young puppeteer sat perplexed on her chair, tinkering with the modern piece of technology. Alice was anxious and determined to get the device to work, and thus she didn't stop until late into the night. The refreshing breeze turned into a stiff wind and darkness flooded the house's insides. Noticing this, Alice stood up, lit a candle, and closed the large glass windows. When she sat back down, she noticed that the device was nearly set up, and all she had left to do was turn it on.

"Alright, I believe this button should do it.", she said with anticipation. To her excitement, the machine began to buzz and run, indicating that it was beginning to start up. Less than a couple minutes later, the screen of the strange device lit up with various icons and such. Alice remembered Nitori telling her that this was the "Desktop", whatever that was.

Eager to test out the device per her promise to Nitori, Alice put her hand on the mouse and started clicking frantically, until she realized that she was just clicking into empty space. She moused over an icon that she found quite interesting: a small blue and orange sphere. Below it was text that read "FireRan Browser".

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:06:34 2008 No.338251 File: 230 KB, 650x500, 1206745594522.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] A..Annyway... g-get on my motorcycle... let's go...

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:07:18 2008 No.338256

Alice started developing a certain liking towards the character named "Anon", which was short for Anonymous. He was a lonely character who was always made fun of by everyone else. Day in and day out he was satirized and ridiculed, even though he tried his best to make friends with the others. As such, he spent almost all of his life inside his small, resolute home, practicing his Danmaku or reading manga. Although you couldn't see his face, you could tell that Anon was fairly attractive, which was a surprise considering his situation.

As time passed, Alice soon became infatuated with this heartfelt yet unbefriended character. She would fantasize being together with him, comforting him in his times of melancholy and going out together as an act of their love. She would lament over the though of being with him forever, enjoying themselves together, having kids, growing old as a couple, etcetera. She wanted to give him the love and appreciation that he desperately deserved, most of all because she knew exactly how he felt. It hurt Alice knowing how woebegone he must feel.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:07:34 2008 No.338259 >>338251 Why is this the only picture with Alice not wearing her boots in it?

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:07:39 2008 No.338258 File: 58 KB, 236x246, 1206745659200.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] h...hold onto my waist... ok?

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:07:47 2008 No.338262

However, one day Alice came to an inconsolable realization. She realized that Anonymous was not real, and never would be real. She realized that both he and herself would be lonely forever, separated by 2dimensional and 3dimensional barriers. She realized that they would never be together, never share the beautiful view of the sunset, never hold hands while walking down a park trail, never have a peaceful picnic on the edge of the forest with a beautiful view of the lake.

"This isn't fair! This just isn't fair! Why can't he be real? Why has fate been so cruel, to present me with such a perfect man, only to be rejected by this barrier of woe, this realization of dismay?"

A single tear flowed down Alice's cheek, grazing her soft yet troubled face and shortly falling to the ground.

Alice cried herself to sleep that night, her hopes and emotions dashed, her future bleak and dim. Aside from the resolute sobbing, it was a quiet day in The Forest of Magic. Just like every other day. As such, it would stay that way forever...

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:07:59 2008 No.338254

"I wonder what this one will do if I click on it", pondered Alice. To her utmost enjoyment, as soon as she clicked on it her screen almost immediately changed completely. "Ah, this must be the Web Browser Nitori told me about. She said that this was probably the most popular feature of her invention."

In time, Alice got used to this new device Nitori called a "Computer", and eventually all the commands and whatnot would just come naturally as if she had been doing this forever. In that time, many other people took liking to this invention, including many people from the human village.

One day, Alice came across a website with lots of texts and images. When she asked Nitori about this, she said it was a Message Board, a place where people would post messages accompanied with images about various subjects. She noticed that one subject was very popular, a game called Uohuot, created by a man called NUZ. She later learned that this was what they called a curtain fire shooter, and that it was really popular in the human village. Alice decided to try these out for herself, as many people exclaimed how fun they were.

The first time she decided play, Alice was quite confused. First of all, she couldn't decide which character to chose. There were many, after all. Anon, John, Steve and Ryan were the main ones, with many side characters as well.

In the beginning, Alice wasn't very good, however as the days passed she got better and better and was eventually able to move up in the levels. However, one day Alice discovered that these shooting games weren't the only things about of this game called Ouhout. She also found out at the various doujins and fan-made comics existed, each one with great artwork and funny or dramatic story lines. Alice immersed herself in these stories, laughing at the hilarious jokes involving the stereotypes assigned to the characters, and sobbing at the stories of lost love and heartbreak.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:08:46 2008 No.338271 >>338258 What play are we going to see? Is it a puppet show?

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:09:40 2008 No.338278 File: 171 KB, 385x311, 1206745780615.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Here we go!leaves

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:17:24 2008 No.338325 >>338278 squeeze

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:27:38 2008 No.338392 >>338278 Oh, Alice. I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you go.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:33:09 2008 No.338423 >>338392 >Oh, Alice. I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Fixed.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:39:50 2008 No.338454 >>338201 Tell me where you got that Maria pillow, and all will be forgiven.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:43:14 2008 No.338478 >>338454 www.paletweb.com sold out.

Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:50:30 2008 No.338552

Anonymous always was the doll. Imagine Alice in her hermit cabin in the woods, sitting at her crafting table. She is surrounded by 50 to 100 identical dolls, all dressed in a suit with a green cloth mask over its head. Imagine these dolls given life, some sitting around discussing the other dolls, some argueing, some fighting amongst each other, some talking to Alice, and even some reciting poetry and whispering sweet nothings to Alice. She even replies back sometimes, playing games with the anonymous.

That is what anonymous is to Alice. A doll. One who can be broken and easily replaced if it gets too annoying. Sometimes, to break up the monotony she will pull out a doll out of the "tripfag" box and let it interact with anonymous, but never for too long before she puts it away.

This is how Alice has coped with the loneliness. she has created all the companionship she needs.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:53:10 2008 No.338578 File: 126 KB, 1024x768, 1206748390452.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>338552

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 28 23:59:41 2008 No.338639 Dere dere Alice is superior to tsun tsun.

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