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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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33774890 No.33774890 [Reply] [Original]

Alright, someone redpill me on the Lunar war. Are the rabbits just cowards?

>> No.33774974


>> No.33775242

As you probably know, Apollo 11 was an invasion force sent to the moon. What you may be unaware of, however, is that there were multiple previous invasions. They were successful to varying degrees, with one of them almost destroying the moon itself ("Splitting of the Moon Incident"). The Lunarians, however, are very technologically capable and not to be underestimated. There is a reason they survive and why we have not set foot on the moon since 1972...

Of course, we have actually set foot on the moon. I do not wish to speak more about this and further endanger my own life.

>> No.33775254

I hate moonies.

>> No.33775317
File: 217 KB, 359x359, Primarch Neil.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

What if I told you the craters on the moon weren't created by 14 Billion year-old space debris, but rather the Lunarian Mortars?
The Lunarian Capital is known far and wide for being superior to Earth in almost every way, though being a few hundred thousand miles/kilometers away and led by two retards.
Despite the ancient age of the Earth and Moon, surely one would think they would be untouched in an almost orderly Solar System, but no. Not only has the Moon been defiled, but it has been a grave yard for nearly the entire Lunarian Army.
At this point, people will ask "how?" or "why?" and expect to get a full run down of the thing from the natives themselves, but no. They won't. Not only are the common "Cute Little Lunarian Bunny" citizens so uninformed to the point of retardation, but they are also lazy despite their constant slave-working by the Watatsuki sisters.
The only one who could have told the story is currently in Gensokyo and goes by the name "Reisen Udongein Inaba".
There is no way you'll ever get an answer from her, let alone find and acquire her assistance since leaving her allies to die when she escaped in the middle of the massacre. To this day, she still suffers from PTSD.

Starting from the beginning, there was once a time when all native Earthlings lived on Earth and all was fine. All until certain events took place, and a "not so small" group of people decided the Earth was becoming too "impure", so they came together to devise a plan to go elsewhere, and as we know, they went to the moon, and dubbed themselves Lunarians.
Nobody knows what happened between that time and now, but we do know of the recent events that have taken place. Like a certain "invasion" as they call it, that happened from 1969 - 1972, which marked the beginning of 6 "invasions" which took place. All we know is that two humans, yes, two /humans/, decided to go and plant a flag on the moon. A flag with 50 stars, and 13 stripes held up on a pole in the vast emptiness that is the surface of the moon and dark empty sky that is space. One could see this as claiming unmarked and unowned territory, and they would be right, however, they were met with unfriendly forces upon their arrival.
The unfriendly denizens of the moon looked more like humanized rabbits, and at a glance, would be seen as small, cute and harmless- until you saw they were carrying weapons. And charging. Right at you and the flag like a bunch of savages. For rather cute creatures, they were rather barbaric.
After planting the flag on the moon, the humans appeared to be dancing, and riding in some kind of contraption with four wheel-like structures attached to it whilst going back to the same location every now and then. Probably taking pictures or something.
After seeing something like that, surely the head Lunarians would think twice before attacking a possibly more advanced and possibly unknown species, but no. They went on and attacked like a bunch of fucking retards. And with that, is how it all began.
We know not what the "invasion" was like, but the Royal Cocksucking Sisters call it "The War", leading us to our topic, the first "Lunarian War"- in which they lost horrobly. Spoiler Alert.
The losses were grim.
For them of course.
The Lunarians lost such a large chunk of their army that "...there aren't many left..." -Yorihime Watatsuki. And that isn't the half of it. The two /humans/ who invaded left with nothing but small blemishes that'll go away in a week or two, as the Lunar Army lost <Thousands> of their soldiers. Yes you heard me right, <THOUSANDS>. The ENTIRE LUNARIAN ARMY against two friendly humans. TWO humans and they LOST! You're telling me that an entire force of the moon, over six arrivals by the same two humans in four (4) years and multiple flags, resulted the DEATHS of the MAJORITY of the LUNARIAN ARMY, much so to a point where their forces are cripped to a point to where they can take on Gensokyo, just barely, when four Gensokian denizens put a stop to a GODDESS OF HELL, a PURE incarnation of HATRED and a HELL FAIRY who managed to fucking terrorize them to a point of having to INVADE GENSOKYO, as well as TOTAL EVACUATION of the Moon, into ANOTHER realm which they didn't even know they had entered on their own will as a trap- and they couldn't even manage to so much as give two friendly, non hostile HUMANS a hard fight? Not to mention it took them fucking decades- DECADES to get rid of an UNGUARDED flag? WHAT! You afraid the Youkai in the shadows are gonna snatch your ankles if you get within 50 feet of the flag? You scared you'll turn to dust if you touch it? Go blind if you so much as glance at it? Grow the FUCK up!!!

>> No.33775358

Don't spam it
Word of advice

>> No.33776735

>spam it
This is a pasta, anon.

>> No.33777189

The Lunarians considered the Earth's endeavors to be mere annoyance, not worthy of a full-scale deplyment of the Defence Corps. Given how the Lunar Capital is hidden by a multidimensional barrier (much like Gensokyo on Earth), humans couldn't detect their presence and thought "they conquered" the Moon.

>> No.33777307


>> No.33777357

Lots of anger.
Perhaps it is time.

>> No.33782976
File: 133 KB, 1110x703, Kaguya&#039;s Profile in IM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Literally not what happened. In Kaguya's and Reisen's profiles in IM tell us clearly, that lunarians were scared shitless of Apollo crew, an they thought that there's going to be a full fledged war.

It is even said in Kaguya's profile, that the lunarians thought the astronauts had better weapons. To this days moonies are triggered by the colors of Star-Spangled Banner (that's why Clownpiece wears clothes with this pattern).

>> No.33783222

>Dear Reisen, a war will be starting soon. Please come back and fight at our side
Did Reisen go back to aid her kind?

>> No.33783465

No, she cut all her ties with the Lunar Capital.

>> No.33785364

>the astronauts had better weapons
Uh, the astronauts had what?

>> No.33785637

Golf balls are deadly weapons, anon.

>> No.33786057

An overwhelming amount of domestic murders in the united states in the 1960's happened with golf equipment

>> No.33786097

But the astronauts had nothing. The war was fought with golf balls

>> No.33786197

Touhou style abilities

>> No.33787143

Yes, and with those golf clubs they completly annihilated the lunarian army ("There aren't many left" - Yorihime about the lunarian army).

>> No.33787161
File: 86 KB, 317x367, shitty.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.33787207

And any canonical source on why "there aren't many left"?

>> No.33787243

Why not 2hu that believes the Earth is flat?

>> No.33787326

so how did the moon rabbits lost so badly against two guys? are moon rabbits just useless piece of shit only good for sex appeal?

>> No.33787450
File: 30 KB, 640x480, bawno.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.33787485

Which made the astronauts all the more skilled

>> No.33787504

Golf balls are not weapons. They are instruments for entertainment.

>> No.33787646

Cheeky moon brats couldnt beat the cock

>> No.33787666

Armstrong shoved a bunny to the ground and she started crying. This cause all other rabbits to drop their weapons and run away in fear.

>> No.33788561

Have you never seen that time Buzz Aldrin started exploding orbs in all directions from his body during training?

>> No.33788581

That never happened.
He took a single golf ball and had it rotate around him at the speed of light

>> No.33790151

Moonies get out

>> No.33800573

Me too brother.