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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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File: 538 KB, 1100x800, Lunar Cadet.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
33753761 No.33753761 [Reply] [Original]

What if I told you the craters on the moon weren't created by 14 Billion year-old space debris, but rather the Lunarian Mortars?
The Lunarian Capital is known far and wide for being superior to Earth in almost every way, though being a few hundred thousand miles/kilometers away and led by two retards.
Despite the ancient age of the Earth and Moon, surely one would think they would be untouched in an almost orderly Solar System, but no. Not only has the Moon been defiled, but it has been a grave yard for nearly the entire Lunarian Army.
At this point, people will ask "how?" or "why?" and expect to get a full run down of the thing from the natives themselves, but no. They won't. Not only are the common "Cute Little Lunarian Bunny" citizens so uninformed to the point of retardation, but they are also lazy despite their constant slave-working by the Watatsuki sisters.
The only one who could have told the story is currently in Gensokyo and goes by the name "Reisen Udongein Inaba".
There is no way you'll ever get an answer from her, let alone find and acquire her assistance since leaving her allies to die when she escaped in the middle of the massacre. To this day, she still suffers from PTSD.

Starting from the beginning, there was once a time when all native Earthlings lived on Earth and all was fine. All until certain events took place, and a "not so small" group of people decided the Earth was becoming too "impure", so they came together to devise a plan to go elsewhere, and as we know, they went to the moon, and dubbed themselves Lunarians.
Nobody knows what happened between that time and now, but we do know of the recent events that have taken place. Like a certain "invasion" as they call it, that happened from 1969 - 1972, which marked the beginning of 6 "invasions" which took place. All we know is that two humans, yes, two /humans/, decided to go and plant a flag on the moon. A flag with 50 stars, and 13 stripes held up on a pole in the vast emptiness that is the surface of the moon and dark empty sky that is space. One could see this as claiming unmarked and unowned territory, and they would be right, however, they were met with unfriendly forces upon their arrival.
The unfriendly denizens of the moon looked more like humanized rabbits, and at a glance, would be seen as small, cute and harmless- until you saw they were carrying weapons. And charging. Right at you and the flag like a bunch of savages. For rather cute creatures, they were rather barbaric.
After planting the flag on the moon, the humans appeared to be dancing, and riding in some kind of contraption with four wheel-like structures attached to it whilst going back to the same location every now and then. Probably taking pictures or something.
After seeing something like that, surely the head Lunarians would think twice before attacking a possibly more advanced and possibly unknown species, but no. They went on and attacked like a bunch of fucking retards. And with that, is how it all began.
We know not what the "invasion" was like, but the Royal Cocksucking Sisters call it "The War", leading us to our topic, the first "Lunarian War"- in which they lost horrobly. Spoiler Alert.
The losses were grim.
For them of course.
The Lunarians lost such a large chunk of their army that "...there aren't many left..." -Yorihime Watatsuki. And that isn't the half of it. The two /humans/ who invaded left with nothing but small blemishes that'll go away in a week or two, as the Lunar Army lost <Thousands> of their soldiers. Yes you heard me right, <THOUSANDS>. The ENTIRE LUNARIAN ARMY against two friendly humans. TWO humans and they LOST! You're telling me that an entire force of the moon, over six arrivals by the same two humans in four (4) years and multiple flags, resulted the DEATHS of the MAJORITY of the LUNARIAN ARMY, much so to a point where their forces are cripped to a point to where they can take on Gensokyo, just barely, when four Gensokian denizens put a stop to a GODDESS OF HELL, a PURE incarnation of HATRED and a HELL FAIRY who managed to fucking terrorize them to a point of having to INVADE GENSOKYO, as well as TOTAL EVACUATION of the Moon, into ANOTHER realm which they didn't even know they had entered on their own will as a trap- and they couldn't even manage to so much as give two friendly, non hostile HUMANS a hard fight? Not to mention it took them fucking decades- DECADES to get rid of an UNGUARDED flag?
WHAT! You afraid the Youkai in the shadows are gonna snatch your ankles if you get within 50 feet of the flag? You scared you'll turn to dust if you touch it? Go blind if you so much as glance at it? Grow the FUCK up.

>> No.33754056

always makes me laugh

>> No.33756160
File: 265 KB, 1920x817, Rides of Valkyries.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Death to the moonies!

>> No.33756189

we should increase funds to space exploration foundation and push moon more exploration

>> No.33756473

Heck yes, nuke the moon

>> No.33756577

use salted nukes
the radiations last longer than just some normal ass nuke and i want lunarians to suffer so seeing them mutate and die would delight me

>> No.33765427

what are salted nukes exactly? that sounds to be treading the path of a warcrime.

>> No.33767997

you basically take a regular nuke and then add some things on it (usually cobalt)
makes them spread more radiation which means that a whole volley of them could make this planet uninhabitable
but hey who cares about the lives of lunarians right?

>> No.33774026

At this point, I wonder why anyone abides by rules in war.
Civilians are off limits, yet you still see the shit they go through. I'm sure people have thought of that before, but man. They say there's nothing more cruel than the mind of a child. Well that comes second to the minds of madmen.

>> No.33774052
File: 820 KB, 800x1100, 1606411380386.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I love Watasuki, I'd betray my planet for her in a hearbeat!

>> No.33774136
File: 1.48 MB, 1000x1618, Yorihime.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Filthy moonie deserves to be sold as a sex slave to some brothel in Vietnam.

>> No.33774220
File: 365 KB, 700x600, 15233002_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Lunarians are bad!

>> No.33774259

what war?

>> No.33774267

traitors like you deserve to get tortured in the worst ways possible

>> No.33774288
File: 1.25 MB, 850x1099, 1607636460886.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Earth propaganda will not dissuade me

>> No.33774310

then you don't deserve to live

>> No.33774351

War in general.
The use of chemical weapons and the like are prohibited due to what was seen in the first World War.

>> No.33774379
File: 811 KB, 600x848, 1597548494615.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I won't need to when I'm free of impurity on the Moon

>> No.33774816

but that's on earth
this is against some annoying elitists in the moon
so why even care about morality?
they hate our existence because they view us as "impure"

>> No.33774829

oh i'll deprive you of purity again and murder you again
it won't end until you traitors die

>> No.33784836 [DELETED] 


>> No.33784862

calm down

>> No.33792083

>Earth propaganda
Damn Lunarian. Begone.

>> No.33792549
File: 162 KB, 951x1500, 90c73d444293985c0308d2eaa9d5aa60.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You filthy traitor. We murdere your precious guardians and burn down your capital with holy fire.

Glory to Terra

>> No.33794989


>> No.33795243


>> No.33795657
File: 150 KB, 999x1249, 1540954231495.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Lunarians are the master race. Earthlings are nothing but cattle fit to serve their superior moon overlords.

>> No.33796918

if push ever comes to shove then nuke spam it is
to hell you heretic traitors

>> No.33797708
File: 282 KB, 500x500, 1585422039171.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My Lunarian Princess can't possibly be this cute!

>> No.33797889

sad that such cuteness is in the form of an elitist shitbag
man the salted nukes earth comrades we finna blow up the moon

>> No.33797969 [DELETED] 

niggers and mutts out

>> No.33800385
File: 197 KB, 1440x1440, human diplomats on the moon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.33800823

I used (and sent) this copypasta as testing data for an assignment I had for university
I got a high first

>> No.33802315

>for university
no way.

>> No.33803133
File: 111 KB, 985x807, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

sure did

>> No.33809097
File: 129 KB, 500x500, 1609584951555.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.33809316

Though when I was in CS people used text/quotes/names from VNs and such all the time. One TA made his labs centered around OG Fate series.
The real test is submitting is to shoehorn it into a written work in a humanities course and see how they take it.

>> No.33823002

Fucking traitor