/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Which resident of the Scarlet Devil Mansion do you first pursue during your stay?

[Anonymous No.]

The door.

[Anonymous No.]

Flan Bad End

[Anonymous No.]

We will shit and piss on the floor together.

[Anonymous No.]

Patches.

[Anonymous No.]

Sakuya, even though I know every single one will lead to a bad end...

[Anonymous No.]

The gate.

[Anonymous No.]

China.
Then Lake.

[Anonymous No.]

[X] Jump in the lake.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3283817

[Anonymous No.]

who cares? im gonna die anyway

[Anonymous No.]

Cirno.

[Anonymous No.]

China. Even if we just become friends that is good enough.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] Lake

The SDM is shit-tier anyways

[Anonymous No.]

Sakuya. Best to get her pregnant first.

[Anonymous No.]

Anal Devil Seduction

[Anonymous No.]

Sakuya. Best to get her pregnant first.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3283709
[ ] Jump in the lake.

[Anonymous No.]

The library. Gotta have something interesting in there.

[Anonymous No.]

Pursue first last and only

[Comrade General No.]

Mistress of the mansion of course.

[Anonymous No.]

Flandre.

[Hong Meiling 門門 !!CkFE91f1n9T No.]

>>3284073
Too unreachable it's best to start low and stay there if possible.

[BOOF !AWEsomEEEE!!g4pQz5RFuPl No.]

the oriental one

[Anonymous No.]

The one who is the most approachable. So likely Remilia or Meiling.

I'd probably put my suave face on for Remilia and swoon her with my manly charms.

Or get fucking baked with meiling and talk about Sun Tzu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284073
You need to do Sakuya first or else she'll kill you when you attempt to do Remilia.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284135
Starting with Meiling wouldn't be starting low, though; you're immediately going after the best SDM resident.

[【 五角場 ～ 之 ～ 無名氏 】 No.]

In less than 5 seconds.

[Anonymous No.]

Patchoulei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei.
Seriously though, Probably China. She seems easy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284190
I was about to join the Lake crowd, but how could I forget the SDM's only decent resident? For shame

[Anonymous No.]

>>3283964
>>3284135
>>3284147
>>3284193
China is strong and not very smart, she will most likely destroy you for trespassing (she IS the guard after all).

[Comrade General No.]

>>3284135
I like to live on the edge. Taking risks is a routine. And I'm sure we'd get along just fine.
It would be worth it anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284193
Meiling does look the easiest but what happens when Sakuya catches you going at her? I don't think she'll take it kindly. That's why you need to do Sakuya first.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284223

She isn't that strong. She's a stage 3 boss, and the weakest one at that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284223
Ah, but Meiling doesn't mind if you just stay at the gate and talk to her. She enjoys those conversations; trying to sneak inside is another matter entirely, though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284253
You're forgetting that there is no sneaking or trespassing involved in this because this all happens during your stay.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284250
She was holding back, just like the rest of the Windows stage three bosses that aren't Nitori.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284261
China is incompetent, Nitori was holding back.

[Anonymous No.]

Patchy, probably. At the least I might get some books to read.

[Anonymous No.]

None, as they don't exist. Sadly.

[Anonymous No.]

Koakuma

[Anonymous No.]

Which resident of the Scarlet Devil Mansion do you think masturbates the most?

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284190
>>3284310
this

[Anonymous No.]

I'd spend all my days with all the nameless maids and then the head maid.

[Anonymous No.]

While you're all still busy trying to figure out how to woo China without dying I'll be nailing Patchury behind the stacks.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] Make eggs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284326
>While you're all still busy trying to figure out how to woo Meiling without dying I'll be getting ignored by Patchury behind the stacks.

Cool.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284193
>Patchoulei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei-lei.

This is best.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284347
so, I don't care if she's reading while I do it

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284326
>Patchury

[Anonymous No.]

All the SDMs are delicious.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd get them pregnant in the following order:

1. Sakuya
2. Meiling
3. Patchouli
4. Koakuma
5. Remilia
6. Flandre

There! Conquest of the mansion achieved!

[Anonymous No.]

In the order the stages are arranged, obviously

Not like there's any other way to play EoSD

[Anonymous No.]

Hong Meiling is the only choice, maybe Flandre if the chance present itself.

I don`t give a shit about the others, though.

[Anonymous No.]

China. I love strong legs.

[Anonymous No.]

Let see...

Sakuya: CLose friend
Patchy: CLose friend
Mei Ling: Waifu
Remilia: Avoid like the plague
Flandre: Occasionally go down to bring her some snacks, and play around.

[Anonymous No.]

Scarlet Devil Mansion group = the best Touhou cast/group ever!

[Anonymous No.]

>>3284600
Interesting idea. It might actually work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3283709
China.
The rest are crazy monsters.

[Anonymous No.]

How do you learn this much about them? Is there a manga or something that you read, or is it all from the games?

[Anonymous No.]

If there's anything HY and her SDM LA has taught me is that it's always Remilia first and forever. Always.

[BOOF !AWEsomEEEE!!g4pQz5RFuPl No.]

>>3285006
we make it up, then force it onto those around us.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285020
It's the Touhou way.

[Anonymous No.]

Remilia if I have some way to defend myself or can establish myself as important.

Otherwise Patchy, and hope I don't get lost or killed on the way.

China and Sakuya are boring.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285006

Character profiles, dialogue, PMiSS, works such as SSiB, and the occasional touch of generally accepted fanon.

Though I prefer to leave out the last bit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285086
I prefer to leave out SSiB.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd be Flan's Mr. Dumbass until the day I die.

Play my cards right, and that could be weeks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285086
Lunarian Vampire Hunter?

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285094

Stop being a faggot. SSiB is good.

[Anonymous No.]

Sakuya, Flandre, Patchy.
Anyone in the Scarlet Devil mansion is good.
Except China

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285112

For a few chapters it was readable.

I don't care if ZUN wrote it, it just didn't feel right.

[Anonymous No.]

hi what is a SSiB ? ? ?

[Anonymous No.]

You could try catching China asleep on the job and tell her that you'll inform Sakuya unless she sucks you dry behind the bushes...

Probably the most straighforward way to get to Remi would be to just tell her that you'll swear to be her vampire servant for eternity in return for a night of naughty, sweaty loli vampire sex. Of course, then you're a slave for eternity but you've banged your loli vampire.

[Anonymous No.]

Wonder why the OP of the original game never thought of placing continues after performing various actions to be given away as bonuses or something. Because you know you won't be grazing Mokou any time soon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285107
Canon as fuck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285166

>You could try catching China asleep on the job and tell her that you'll inform Sakuya unless she sucks you dry behind the bushes...

I don't care how nice she is, she'll just break your face when faced with those options.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285177

If you sucked up to Sakuya beforehand though and got on her good side, she'd be suspicious of why China was putting the beats on a guest. Result = it would still come out that she was asleep. :3

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>3285210

>implying that Sakuya would be gullible enough to fall for suckups

[Anonymous No.]

I'd start by bring China food every day, and bringing her an umbrella and hot tea whenever it rains and a blanket during the cold nights. Then sex by the lakeside.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285221

She opens windows in space, canonly. It wouldn't take the music man to pull the wool over her eyes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285225

China: You're a sweet guy anon, but I only see you as a friend.

-___-

[Anonymous No.]

I'd drink tea with Remilia.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285243
>>3285225
Maybe if you would call her by her name instead of China that wouldn't happen.

[Anonymous No.]

Canonically, they're all very illogical and weird

There is no way I can successfully get any one of them because I'm a person of reason and simply not compatible with them

[Anonymous No.]

I'd be too busy getting Patchouli to mukyuu to do much else.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285284
"She is unusually human-like for a youkai, and if you talk to her while she is on the job, she will idly chat or complain.

She may threaten you with words, but as long as you don't try to destroy the gate she almost never attacks.

You would even think that the person you're talking to might be a human."

Sounds pretty normal to me.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>3285239
>>3285284
>>3285225

Canonically speaking, Anon would be food for Flan, Remi and their crew, before he even knew what happened. Especially if their supper was stupid enough to waltz in and start being nice to them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285284

Remilia thinks like a spoiled brat, yet possesses the manner of a refined lady. She can also be nice, caring or a monster on a whim.

Flandre is a child with too much power, smashing her toys without consequence.

Sakuya is devoted and not too bright, but fierce.

Meiling is as close to normal as you can get.

Patchouli is your average shut-in bookworm.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285323
Surely you jest.
A human mortal enters their rumor surounded mansion with a smile on his face?
It would be quite strange to eat such an insane man.
A bad aftertaste, if you will.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285323

I already ate some small bombs so if they try to eat me they'll die too. Therefore, they have no choice but to let me run around unfettered.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285323

Canonically, anon isn't in fucking gensokyo, so I think canon is out the window for this little exercise in mental fappery.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285333
You would fucking shit your pants if you walked up to the SDM, and right before bolting at the sight of either of the vampires you would think what a horrible idea it must have been to come to this place. SDM is not nice.

[x] Lake

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285352
are you retarded

if that's the case why even discuss anything, i'll just say everyone loves me. harem end

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285366

now you're thinking with portals!

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>3285356

Yeah, and if Anon thinks he'll get the same nice treatment Reimu and Marisa do, it's only by virtue of their power that they get away with what they do. Better start working on some spell cards, a Mini-Hakkero or Orbs of Hakurei.

>>3285344

>canon is out the window

There really is no reaction image for the kind of secondaryfaggotry that I am beholding right here.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>3285388

I replied to the wrong Anon, my bad, chaps. Not my intention to mix all of you up.

Anyway - to the Mad Bomber - I think Patchy can rig some charm up to contain your explosion. Then Sakuya will scoop up your bloody remains and serve them on ice to the Ojous. Well done, anon. Well done.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>3285366

>if that's the case why even discuss anything, i'll just say everyone loves me. harem end


Yeah, if you're going to deviate from canon what the fuck is the point of anything? Just say that Remilia and company are addicted to cum and will proceed to suck your dick over 9000 times upon smelling your sperm. Everyone wins, the end.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285388

I got something better.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285413

What if I'm a girl?

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285423
Futa end.

[Alice Margatroid !DoLLFaGERs No.]

I'd be Koakuma's assistant in exchange for a small amount of sexual favours in lieu of actual pay, obviously, because that way nobody in the mansion'll remember that I exist, and I can probably have hot threesomes with Patchouli on occasion, I suppose.

[Anonymous No.]

I have type B blood, Remilia's favorite, so I'll just politely walk up to the gate and ask to be her food.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>3285423

Your vaginal fluids attract vampires.

TRUE STORY.

>>3285415

You're small time.

Reiuji would point and laugh at your tiny little nuke.

[Anonymous No.]

The one that will point me in the direction of the Moriya shrine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3285468
What, you have trouble finding a mountain? Just walk up to it and tell whoever tells you to go the fuck away that you want to pay respects at the shrine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>3283709
Patchouli. Her extensive knowledge of magic is fascinating.