/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Gentlemen

Let's go a step beyond this pathetic act of...pretend

ITT: WE BELIEVE

Gensokyo awaits us after our death

[Anonymous No.]

Ran is my waifu

[Anonymous No.]

I wish I could believe girls in bloomers and funny hats await us after death, but sadly that isn't it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313067
So... its a religion now?

[Anonymous No.]

fuck after death, I'll be there within a few months

[Anonymous No.]

Know your failure. This is what seperates you from the average weeaboo.

Digimon isn't real.

[Anonymous No.]

Gensokyo awaits us in May.

Dear God, what a birthday.

[Anonymous No.]

in b4 kaiji lecture

[Anonymous No.]

>>313085

Nothing separates anonymous from your average narutokawaiidesunexD fans at all

[Anonymous No.]

>>313078
FUCK YEAH TOHOU-ISM

[Anonymous No.]

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313095

No.
A proper sense of shame.
It is what causes one to conceal their power level and makes society a better place.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313095
Other than the fact that the majority of us don't take a large axe to the back of the English language.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313094
The Kaiji lecture is just MADHOUSE's attempt to keep Gensokyo to themselves. DON'T FALL FOR THEIR TRAP!

[Anonymous No.]

>>313067
>>313073
>>313084

Hmph. You need more training. Is that all you've got?

I'm Reimu.

I AM REIMUUUUUUU

[Anonymous No.]

>>313104

In before Hakureiism.

[Anonymous No.]

When i die i want to be reincarnated as one of alices dolls, preferably the one that looks like marisa, that doll gets a lot of action.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313170

but the dolls are not alive...at all...

[Anonymous No.]

>>313084
That angle of the accelerator made me think MASTER SPARK and mega-hakkero. I need help.

[Anonymous No.]

When we'll die, Sikieiki will suck our dicks if we go to heaven or Komachi if we go to hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313201
A typical response.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313218
She'll suck Komachi?

I think I have that doujin.

[Anonymous No.]

The sad reality in gensokyo is that you will either be a human who gets eaten by a youkai or made into tea and cakes for sakuya to feed her masters, eaten by yuka (in b4 yuka vore pasta), doped up and experimented upon by eirin, and ignored by everyone else. in the unlikely event that you survive and attempt to build a decent afterlife with your miserable powerlevels, reimu will decide that whatever you're doing is annoying her and that you must be exterminated.

don't you idiots see? GENSOKYO IS HELL

[Anonymous No.]

>>313250

I may not be good looking or physically fit, but I have a heart of gold :)

[Anonymous No.]

>>313280

You will die immediately, eaten by a Rumia.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313280
>>:)

Great. Youkai have strong enough teeth to chew gold.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313250
just because you start out at low power levels doesnt mean you stay low. Some of the most powerful in Gensokyo are human. Just because you would be a bottom feeder, doesnt mean everyone would be. Im only here because reality is boring.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313201

[Anonymous No.]

This is our Project Digiclipse.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313316

Let's face it

In an epic adventure story, Anonymous would be the least likely person to be included in the main party

What makes you think we'd even learn anything even if we were taught by Gensokyo's finest

[Anonymous No.]

>>313342
Because we are Legion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313352
get out newfag

[Anonymous No.]

>>313352
fucking newfag, get out

[Anonymous No.]

>>313352
Hackers on steroids,you mean.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313250
Same goes for Youkai

The only one's who have it good are named characters.
SO PISS OFF ANYONE BUT REIMU

PUT UP A PISS-WEAK DANMAKU BATTLE

???

FANTASTICO

[Anonymous No.]

>>313323

Jeer while you can. I've personally sent a number of probes into the world beyond the border, and now they've finally captured pictures of Gensokyo for us. The first probes returned just a few minutes ago.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313422

To think! They laughed!

[Anonymous No.]

Why, Gensokyo is even more picturesque than I'd imagined.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>313415

But the only named characters, save one, are female. The one male will do anything to protect his harem, so if you (and you have no choice but to remain male, Anonymous) somehow arrive at the point where you may be given a name, he will send his whores out to obliterate you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313445

except he's much more of a ....mm..twig than a harem lead

[Anonymous No.]

>>313445
Work for him in hopes of upsurping his one store kingdom.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313461
>>twig

you mean like Makoto?

[Anonymous No.]

>>313461

WHAT YOU SAY

[Friendly Neighborhood TheAsian Guy !IzyqvCHinA No.]

Why not have Anonymous become a merchant and trade goods with other touhou Character?. Trade pornography with Rinnosuke for tools and material, Smokes for Mokou, frilly maid dresses for Sakuya, the latest Wrpg for Kaguya and even a book about frogs for cirno.

Stop whining about anonymous being eaten by youkai and having miserable power levels. What I see is an open market waiting to be dominated.

If anonymous can connect all of Gensokyo with wireless internet and phone connections, it will
ours for the taking.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313445
Rinnosuke is too manly to worry about pathetic things like being usurped, in fact he would like people to try as that will give him people he could converse with on equal grounds.

[Anonymous No.]

MANNOSUKE THREAD GO

[Anonymous No.]

>>313516

[Anonymous No.]

>>313522

[Anonymous No.]

>>313445
There are actually three males in Gensokyo recorded history.

The very first is Genjii, the flying turtle. Current whereabouts unkown.
The second is Youki Konpaku, half human half ghost. Current whereabouts unkown.
Third is ZUN's self-insert, Mannosuke, Half human half youkai. Current whereabouts: fapping furiously in his home.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313528

Self insert? You best be jokin' nigger.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

its looking kinda murky today. and whats this things?

[Anonymous No.]

>>313508

Anonymous has no knowledge in finance, economics, or any of the other things you mentioned to achieve anything

The best thing we can do is become a farmer in the human village

[Anonymous No.]

>>313542

Truly, he is manly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313538
Look deep within your heart. You know it to be true.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313552

I dont see the resemble. Unlike DAN KIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[Anonymous No.]

>>313546
Anybody know how to even gd farm?

[Sylph !1MGP4h6LWI No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>313546

We couldn't farm for shit, because we're too pig disgusting out of shape from all those baconators. The best we could hope for is a quick and painless death.

ANNIHILATION OF SOUL
DEATH BEYOND DEATH
FINAL DESTINATION

[Anonymous No.]

>>313580

Alteast we'll see Yuyuko.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313559
>>313580
I don't think the basic stuff is all that difficult.

Those of you who have seen that Jet Li movie Fearless, you remember that crop he was planting right when he was in that village? It didn't look too hard if we just take it slow

Shit I maybe out of shape running wise, but helping around is still within my limits

/jp/ - Agriculture

[Anonymous No.]

>>313585

her farts smell like butterflies :3

[Anonymous No.]

>>313595

I've been trying to grow strawberries for two fucking years now, but the plants never manage to do much other than barely hold onto life.

[Friendly Neighborhood TheAsian Guy !IzyqvCHinA No.]

>>313546

Sure, not every single anonymous have the knowledge of finance, economics or even the basic understanding of business. But It doesn't mean YOU should give up and farm in Gensokyo.DUURRR CABBAGES AND CARROTS R GOOD FOR U.

What's keeping you away anonymous? What's hindering you from your travels? All anonymous needs is confidence, motivation and a goal to make it big.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313585
Only people killed by Yuyuko's power move on to Hakugyokurou.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313610

Hi Miss Yuka, would you like to buy some flowers?

Why these look nice, but why should I pay you when I can just take them from you?

Well...

Yuka crits you for 9000
You die

[Anonymous No.]

>>313623
Then I'll find ways to piss Yuyuko off, granted that Youmu won't be able to kill me first.

[Anonymous No.]

Well, at least we're bound to run into Sikieiki and I want at least one attempt to rape her before I get condemned.

[Anonymous No.]

Hey Yuyuko, would you like this funnel cake?

It looks delicious, I'd love so-

*CRUSH*

.

..

...

RESURRECTION BUTTERFLY.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313610
dont look down on farming faggot

[Anonymous No.]

you want motivation? how about a world with loli that never age, the possibility of being able to blast a mountain apart with my mind, rabbit girls. what more motivation would you need? The biggest motivation of all tho, life after death. I am atheist, and the pointlessness of life is about the only thing that has kept me down. With life after death tho, a souls ability to become a great force in the universe would be my motivation >>313610

[Anonymous No.]

in before eggplants...

[Ultramarine-tan !2biiHvzf1s No.]

Kool-aid's on me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313610
>>313652
To hell with work, let's just freeload at the shrine.

[Anonymous No.]

Haha. You're still destined to reborn as level 1 comoner with zero power level. Your options:
-Stay at the village forever. No civilized bathrooms, farming, hell yeah.
-Go meet one of these ageless lolis and perish in a blaze of glory.

[Friendly Neighborhood TheAsian Guy !IzyqvCHinA No.]

>>313627

Remember to form friendly trading alliance with certain parties in Gensokyo. Start with someone who isn't going to kill you for one.

or create a union. Like every good union, go up in rage and-

YOU INJURED MERCHANT 101 AND TAKING THOSE FLOWERS WITHOUT PAYING. WE NOT PROVIDE INTERNET SERVICE OR ANY MORE OF OUR PRODUCTS UNTIL YOU COMPLY.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313610

Think about it this way. You visit Gensokyo, and you decide to go to:

Eientai: You get lost, and die. Or Tewi helps you, then you get driven insane, shot up the asshole, and die. You somehow make it through the front door, and Eirin sells you some bad dope, and you die. If you somehow meet Kaguya, she eats your eyeballs, and you die.

SDM: China kicks your head in, you die. You get past the gate, and Patche sacrifices you to some demon, and you die. Make it past that, and Sakuya makes you into food, and you die. Get to the top, and Remi changes your fate, allowing you to get wiped out by Flandre. You die.

Forest of Magic: You hide out in Alice's house, and die of starvation. You are made into a doll. You pass it up for Marisa's house, and you get disintegrated by her practicing Master Spark. You are very dead.

Human Village: You pass by a stand to get some grilled eel, and are eaten by Mystia after she bursts your ears. You die. You go and pick some flowers. Suzu suzu suzu suzu you are poisoned, and dead. Or eaten by Yuka. The sun sets early...too early. You die in eternal darkness. You meet that cute girl you passed by in the street, but she has horns and CAVED!

Underworld: Gardener kills you because she is insane and dumb. Or, you get eaten by a hungry ghost. But you were already dead, anyway.

Makai: Still closed for business, and Reimu kills you because she vaguely remembers that's what she does to people around that place.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313677
OOOOR, You can work on the farm for a couple years, saving every penny you can. Tone your body, make it the object of every loli vampires desire. Until you have enough to visit the Artifact Shop. Then you will choose amoung these fine items.

A. Shotgun
B. Magic for Dummies
C. Alchemy, Basics for Beginers
B. Spellcard: Explosion Array, signed Lina Inverse

[Anonymous No.]

>>313698

Tewi's friendly. Eirin's not openly hostile. You wouldn't run into Kaguya. China's friendly, but you wouldn't get past the gate. Mystia wouldn't kill her business. Alice takes care of guests, she's just creepy. On and on.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313698
You do know that normal human being live in Gensokyo... dont you?

[Anonymous No.]

>>313705
I'd pick alchemy so I can beat dagoth ur in one hit.

[EZMode !iIyIHD.1G6 No.]

Step One: Buy fried tofu.
Step Two: Bribe Ran.
Step Three: Meet Yukari.
Step Four: ????
Step Five: PROFIT
Step Six: Painful death

Still working on this...

[Anonymous No.]

>>313698
Screw all those options, I want my lake.

[Anonymous No.]

1. Seduce Alice
2. Steal Grimoire
3. ?????
4. Profit!

[Anonymous No.]

>>313698
ITT, we crush hopes and dreams?

[Friendly Neighborhood TheAsian Guy !IzyqvCHinA No.]

>>313698

You're taking this too extreme anonymous. Not all of Gensokyo is out to get you.

>>Makai: Still closed for business

No.

[Anonymous No.]

Gensokyo humans all naturally have some spiritual power for use against youkai (like Reimu, but obviously much weaker), since they were basically demon hunters who moved to hunt youkai before Gensokyo was sealed off from the rest of the world.

You wouldn't just be a nobody Commoner, you'd be a burden and an embarrassment to the other humans in the village.

[Anonymous No.]

Oh god, you guys are a bunch of weak faggots. I bet you can't even cast a fireball without reading the incantation from a book.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313705

FUCK YEAH FARMING FOR A FEW YEARS

PLAY IT SAFE ANONYMOUS

[Anonymous No.]

>>313744
Paperballs are not fireballs...

[Anonymous No.]

>>313723

They aren't normal like you and me, boyo. Plus, they've adapted to their environment over a hard lifetime.

>>313730

Even the lakes are out to get you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313736
This is a man that knows very little about Gensokyo, go back to /a/.

Most humans in Gensokyo are powerless. They band together for strength. Some were hunters true but many were ordinary people who went to Gensokyo to escape the outside world... like anon.

Also not all youkai are indomitable forces of mass destruction. Many youkai are as weak as humans. There are few exceptions, mainly all the named youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

So is Anonymous doomed to a shitty life no matter what?

[Anonymous No.]

>>313776

Even without modern plumbing, I still think a life of farming with the chance to meet a few Touhou girls (at least 10 named chars visit the village without causing trouble) is better than....whatever it is that anon does these days

[Anonymous No.]

>>313772
>This is a man that knows very little about Gensokyo, go back to /a/.
Oh the irony of your statement.

>Most humans in Gensokyo are powerless. They band together for strength. Some were hunters true but many were ordinary people who went to Gensokyo to escape the outside world... like anon.
This statement is false.

Please read up on your Gensokyo:

(人間) in the land of Gensokyo are physically similar to humans in our world, but are remarkably different in terms of abilities. In ancient times, brave humans, who knew how to deal with supernatural entities, traveled to a youkai-infested area that we now call Gensokyo. They settled there in order to watch the youkai and keep them from terrorizing the rest of the countryside. These capable humans battled the youkai often. One day, Gensokyo was sealed away from the rest of the world. Having been separated from the rest of humanity, Gensokyo humans have ignored scientific advances and developed formidable innate spiritual power to survive. Today, the normal Gensokyo human is probably a little more powerful than the average youkai, but the population of youkai greatly outnumbers humans. Most humans live in the Human Village, but a few live in other notable locations.

Of course, there exist exceptional humans who can fight on equal terms against the most powerful beings in Gensokyo.

* Examples: Reimu Hakurei, Marisa Kirisame, Sakuya Izayoi, Fujiwara no Mokou

[Anonymous No.]

>>313751
How else are you going to live while you work off all those twinkies? Sorry Anon, but you are really good target in your current form. A blind Master Spark shot in the opposite direction could hit you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313776
if you haven't figured it out by now...

[Haruhi Suzumiya !6WLOYpwYgg No.]

Sorry heavenfags. You reincarnate.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313789
Dont know where you got that, its nothing like what i read. I think its a fabrication.

[Anonymous No.]

Anon's only way: get a job to pay off meals, rent and internets. Spend all the free time on listed above + constant dreaming about touhou/fsn/etc.
Wonderful life ~

[Anonymous No.]

and if you hate farming, you could always try to find work and board at Kourindou.

[Anonymous No.]

DAMN IT. Now i wish i was in Gensokyo, even if it ment getting atomised by a certain loli vampire. Reality sucks even more now, Thanks Anonymous.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313817

There should be other jobs at the village too. Other stores and stuff

It would basically be a normal life...you might even get married to a regular human girl....

[Anonymous No.]

I've figured it out Anon. The only way to survive is to bring some Anon from /ck/ with us with the hope that they can help us make wine and such. Making at least some decent wine will make us important to at least Suika and Yukari and as long as we have those two on our side we'll be well off.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313837
or get married to Mannosuke!

[Anonymous No.]

>>313813
You continue to think that then. Enjoy your fail beliefs on humans in Gensokyo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313724
>I'd pick alchemy so I can beat dagoth ur in one hit.

Hell yeah. All kinds of shit grows in the Magic Forest. I'm sure you'd find some kind of moss with intellegence fortification.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313839

takes too long to make those with basic ingredient

you can try to get sakuya to speed it up for you but....yeah you'll probably just die first

[Friendly Neighborhood TheAsian Guy !IzyqvCHinA No.]

>>313839

Good Idea. Have /ck/ challenge Hong Mei Ling in a Chinese cookout.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313839

They already have alcohol technology, sake and beer at least.

My best chance would be to somehow get a modern computer from Kourin, with a magic power supply, and hope that it has Photoshop and InDesign, and work with Aya to produce a best-selling newspaper. I'd wind up getting a raging case of herpes from her, but that's okay.

[Anonymous No.]

You're all huge faggots

[Anonymous No.]

Meowth, That's Right

[Anonymous No.]

>>313913
Hello Pot? This is Kettle...

[Anonymous No.]

I'm not the one advocating the existence of flying faggot fairy land.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313899

[Anonymous No.]

Solar generator.
Laptop.
DVDs.
Projector.

Welcome to the first cinema in Gensokyo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313941
Hereby refered to as 3FL

[Anonymous No.]

>>313913

Look where you are.

[Anonymous No.]

>>313941

i'm....50%...sure that all of us here are fakeposting

[Anonymous No.]

>>313957
it is kinda funny when anon flames him self

[Anonymous No.]

>>313941

Nobody actually believes this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>314014
speak for your self, im going to the pawn shop and buying a portal to Gensokyo, if you know what i mean.

[Haruhi Suzumiya !6WLOYpwYgg No.]

Actually, if reincarnation does exist it's likely that you can reincarnate to other planets, and possibly even other universes. Therefore, maybe it's possible that you can reincarnate to Touhou-Land. But if you die in Touhou-Land, you'll probably never reincarnate there again. You'll re-reincarnate somewhere that fails, like the Type Moon universe.

[Anonymous No.]

>>314116
I'm sorry... I don't believe in your Scientology nonsense.

[Anonymous No.]

>>314116

you know what would suck? reincarnating in africa. or norway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>314132
But reincarnating in Kenya is totally worth it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>314147
Or reincarnating as anons clean up towel.

[Anonymous No.]

>>314147
oops went to click
>>314132

[Anonymous No.]

>>314174

You realize...You can delete posts....correct?

[Anonymous No.]

>>314196
takes to much time