[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/jp/ - Otaku Culture

View post   
  [?]In ghost mode, only threads with non-archived posts will be shown
File: 270 KB, 1000x770, 3a5042e07a4209446be64d198739fed3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
306426 No.306426 [Reply] [Original]

Interested in working as a maid at the Scarlet Devil Mansion?

Uniforms and three meals a day included.
No afternoon naps, breaks, or salary.
Hot-blooded people are welcome.

Enquire at: Scarlet Devil Mansion Head Maid - Sakuya Izayoi

>> No.306434

>Hot-blooded people are welcome.

More like 'people with lots of blood are welcome', amirite?

>> No.306449
File: 475 KB, 900x831, 1206461506546.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
306449

>>306434
I already have lots of blood for Remilia. If you know what I mean.

>> No.306463

I'd let her suck me dry, if you know what I mean

>> No.306466

>>306449
yeah, when she takes off your head you are going to bleed twice as long as anyone else.

>> No.306471

Do i at least get to sleep?

>> No.306476

>>306463
i dont know if i would put anything in the mouth of a being that considers me food

>> No.306478

>>306466
Remilia doesn't kill her victims. She can't drink that much blood and just leaves humans feeling anemic from blood loss. Like when you go to donate blood.

>> No.306486

>>306478
Drank to much Patchy blood over these 500 (or less) years.

>> No.306489

>>306478
ohh no, Remila would never harm anyone, she is such a kinda and level headed person. /eye roll

Enjoy your Lance

>> No.306490

>>306478
I'd donate some of my bodily fluids to her, if you know what I mean

>> No.306492
File: 17 KB, 400x400, 1206461852373.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
306492

>>306471
In every thousand years. You can sleep IN HELL! But only once:)

>> No.306508

>>306489
I think you need to re-read the post you're replying to again.

>> No.306507
File: 91 KB, 600x478, 1206462015772.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
306507

>>306478
Yes Remilia maybe, but the little Flan chan can atomize you in approximately 2.653 seconds.

>> No.306512

>>306492 :)

>> No.306515

>>306507
Just avoid the basement. You will be okay.

>> No.306523

I would apply for a employment as the butler right away.

>> No.306524

>>306515
But Flandre is my waifu. ;_;

>> No.306526

>I think you need to re-read the post you're replying to again.

In before you are a human working 24/7! Does that mean you are a worker? I think it is more like to be a victim in the SDM...

>> No.306530

>>306524

>But Flandre is my murderer ;_;

fix'd

>> No.306533

>>306515
Flandre is no longer imprisoned.

>> No.306537

>>306515
I'd ram into Flandres basement, if you know what I mean

>> No.306538

>>306466

Dumbass.

The wiki says that she has poor apetite and her "victims" do not die. (in most cases...)

>> No.306543

>>306538
Dumbass was the unlucky one...

>> No.306551

>>306533
Flandre's room is the basement which is normally kept locked. Sometimes she lets herself out and wanders the mansion.

>> No.306552

>>306508
You should learn more about touhou, vampires and human lives mean nothing.

>> No.306553

Come to SDM! Work with a bunch of fairies! Live in fear of your blood! Serve women whom you will never have sex with.

Guess what! SDM is a gay man's reality.

>> No.306563

>>306426
Is it okay to be a male maid? I look pretty girly.

>> No.306573

>>306553
I live in fear of blood and I'm not gay. My one and only girlfriend gave me hepatitis.

>> No.306574

>>306553

Don't care. I can rape other girls while shopping in the human village and get protected by the SDM crew, so its fine.

>> No.306587

>>306563
Why hello there, Hayate.

>>306573
Ouch, I'm sorry. Which Type did you get?

>> No.306598

>>306552
I have no idea what this post is supposed to mean

>> No.306603

>>306563
You might be able to get a favor from Yukari if neccesary. She would probably do something like that just for the lulz.

>> No.306609
File: 41 KB, 308x227, 1206462676894.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
306609

>>306603

>> No.306620

>>306574
Untill the Zombie Miko catches wind and shoves a ying-yang the size of a beach ball up your ass, you may like it.

>> No.306626

>>306598
big suprise

>> No.306629
File: 479 KB, 1600x1200, 1206462782689.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
306629

>>306609
Exactly.

>> No.306630

>>306598
VAMPIRE LIKE HUMAN BURGER

>> No.306651

Well, i always wanted to wear a maid outfit...

>> No.306654

>>306626
>>306630
>vampires and human lives mean nothing
I fail to see how you get human hamburger from this statement. If it was worded 'To vampires, human lives mean nothing' then I could understand. But 'vampires and human lives mean nothing'?

>> No.306661

There is an easy way to solve this. They have lived for hundreds of years, right? So they are pretty bored and have seen everything. Then show them something new.

TrY tAlKiNg LiKe YuKaRi!
Tell stories (1001 Nights, anyone?)
Dance. DANCE MONKEY DANCE.

These will be sure to keep you alive, if only for a little bit longer.

>> No.306675

>>306661
I'm pretty sure that if you are working at SDM you do not have to fear for your life.

>> No.306678

I'd take the job, if you know what I mean

>> No.306687

>>306675
Sakuya is the head maid.

>> No.306696

>>306675
You probably wouldn't get turned into vampire food since you're working there. But pray you don't get assigned to Flandre.

>> No.306698

>>306661 TrY tAlKiNg LiKe YuKaRi!
Yukari doesn't talk like that. That is just how you type, it has nothing to do with anyone else.

>> No.306714

>>306675
Well being an employee you would have little fear from most of SDM but there is still Flan.

>> No.306739

>>306696
Flan likes games, watch out when she wants to play Doctor, Pin the Lance on the Butler or Tea Party (Mr Bear).

>> No.306751

>>306696
It's a pretty high-risk job, anyway. You never know when the Maid Brigade will be deployed in the path of a Master Spark.

>> No.306762

>>306751
People do not die from danmaku.

>> No.306782

>>306762
Highly Overpowered Crazy Bitches do not die from danmaku. 4channers made of slow and fat are likly another story.

>> No.306819

>>306782
No one dies from danmaku due to Spell Card Rules.

>> No.306847

Being fat, hideous, and a raging homosexual, I am therefore the perfect candidate to dress up as a maid. I don't ask to be paid, only that I can jerk off furiously to the fact that I'm in women's clothing on the weekends.

>> No.306852

giving the barrage a beautiful, if deadly, nature.

>> No.306866

>>306847
See, now you are getting the idea. Once Anon knows his place we can live a happy life at SDM. At least until Patchy teaches us magic.

>> No.306884

>>306819
Sepllcard rules does impose quite a hefty set of limits on things, keeping the casualties down considerably. However, there's nothing in the rules protecting you from a master spark to the face, or something similar, so unless you can take that and walk away...

Also, Mokou, fighting to her death, every single spellcard.

>> No.306888

Scarlet Devil Mansion? Don't the hallways clean themselves? Looks like a sinecure.

>> No.306894

>>306819
danmaku is barrage of bullets, created to kill or injure. Game and Manga characters dont die because then you piss off that characters fans.

Anon is a slimy, disgusting pig in the background with no name or face. Anon is canon fodder.

>> No.306904

>>306884
Mokou is fucking metal.

>> No.306912

>>306894
Anonymous becomes the annoying half boss who nobody can really remember.

>> No.306921

>>306884
>>306894
http://www.pooshlmer.com/touhouwiki/index.php/Perfect_Memento:_Draft_of_Spell_Card_Rules

No one dies from danmaku under Spell Card Rules. Even one of the laws is that if a youkai defeats a human then they are not permitted to kill that human.

I won't deny taking a Master Spark to the face won't hurt like hell, but you definitely won't die from it.


Mokou and Kaguya don't fight to the death using spell card rules.

>> No.306924

>>306912
hey, even anoing half bosses have a face and name

>> No.306925

>>306894 danmaku is barrage of bullets
Danmaku = Curtain Fire

>> No.306931

>>306925
Japanese term for "barrage", as in a barrage of bullets.

>> No.306935

>>306921
You might not die from Master Spark, but you sure as hell aren't going to get disability leave from Sakuya. Enjoy your CAKE END.

>> No.306942

>>306931
A barrage doesn't necessarily mean a barrage of bullets. If I am throwing a hundred snowballs at you simultaneously that is danmaku as well.

>> No.306944

>>306935
Of course not. She'll just take the needed time to heal away from your body.

>> No.306953

Fuck Gensokyo. I just want to see if I can drink Zun under the table.

>> No.306961

You know what I want? A crazy twist.

Anon gets danmaku powers. But because he comes from our world (rather than Gensokyo) and has no yokai powers, the bullets are different. Just as their bullets can kill us, our bullets are lethal for them. Suddenly danmaku is no longer a harmless game as Anon becomes mad with power and kills yokai without a care.

>> No.306964

>>306956
If we can't fight under spellcard rules then we can't be protected under spellcard rules.

>> No.306956

>>306884
>Once one party has lost the ability to use Spellcards, that party must concede defeat.

We don't have any spellcards, so we're pretty safe. In fact, I dare say we're not boned UNTIL WE LEARN MAGIC FROM PATCHES!

you idiots.

>> No.306966

>>306953
You will die from alcohol poisoning.

>> No.306968

>>306961
REIMU END

>> No.306969

>>306961
Real bullets in danmaku concentrations are not dodgeable.

>> No.306970

>>306956
Regular humans from Gensokyo have spellcards and aren't magicians.

Of course, regular humans from Gensokyo are also > normal youkai. But uh yeah.

>> No.306980

>>306964
We are protected under Spellcard Rules. We're just not protected anywhere else.

We can still, say, get punched in the face hard enough to land in the middle of a freezing lake, but the Minute We get Wind Chimed, China gets Miko End.

>> No.306982

>>306953

>Fuck Gensokyo. I just want to see if I can drink Zun under the table.

Aya "drinks" Zun under the table all the time, if you know what I mean.

>> No.306995

>>306980
2 baseless assumptions. No real truth. Who will win the argument? Find out next time.

>> No.307001

>>306982
Footjobs and fellatio are also fine depending on how wasted I get.

>> No.307004

>>306980
We will get THE LOVE

>> No.307008

>>306995
INTERNET

>> No.307012
File: 295 KB, 1200x750, 1206465636889.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
307012

>>306961
But Sanae comes from the outside world too so yeah

>> No.307015

>>307012
Sanae is also a demi-god

>> No.307026

>>306970
>Regular humans from Gensokyo have spellcards and aren't magicians.

>Of course, regular humans from Gensokyo are also > normal youkai. But uh yeah.

Umm, what's your point?

Humans are rather poor at Danmaku. Most probably don't even have spellcards. They all live in the Peaceful Human Village as a result, and are protected by Keine (who we shouldn't have left, anyway).

There are only a few noticable exceptions to what you've said. Reimu, the 1337 Shrine Maiden hax0r, Sakuya the Chief Maid (who is questionably human anyway), Youmu, who is half ghost, and Sanae, who has yet to prove she can beat down Youkai.

So thats what? three and a half humans that aren't Magicians yet can use spellcards?

So either we become Magicians, Servents of God, or Servents of powerful Youkai, because those are the only humans that develop Youkai Beating powers.

>> No.307027

>>306961
>Just as their bullets can kill us
>Suddenly danmaku is no longer a harmless game
LOLWUT

>> No.307033

>>307026
This is wrong and the poster should feel bad for posting this.

>> No.307035

>>307026
Can you fail more?

(人間) in the land of Gensokyo are physically similar to humans in our world, but are remarkably different in terms of abilities. In ancient times, brave humans, who knew how to deal with supernatural entities, traveled to a youkai-infested area that we now call Gensokyo. They settled there in order to watch the youkai and keep them from terrorizing the rest of the countryside. These capable humans battled the youkai often. One day, Gensokyo was sealed away from the rest of the world. Having been separated from the rest of humanity, Gensokyo humans have ignored scientific advances and developed formidable innate spiritual power to survive. Today, the normal Gensokyo human is probably a little more powerful than the average youkai, but the population of youkai greatly outnumbers humans. Most humans live in the Human Village, but a few live in other notable locations.

Of course, there exist exceptional humans who can fight on equal terms against the most powerful beings in Gensokyo.

>> No.307044

>>307026
You can suddenly turn hax by investigating a strange incident or perpetuating one, as long as you wear a frilly dress and a funny hat.

>> No.307045

>>307026
In after retard who thinks characters portrayed in touhou are the only ones with spellcards.

>> No.307047

>>307026
>Sanae, who has yet to prove she can beat down Youkai.
Uh. Sanae is a demi-god shrine maiden of an influential shrine with two local deities ontop of being worshiped as a deity herself. You're telling me that you're questioning her ability to outclass some of the more powerful youkai?

>> No.307055

>>307047
He also thinks that no other beings other than those portrayed in the games have spellcards. You really shouldn't take anything he says seriously.

>> No.307056

>>307047
That tells me:
Sanae is mostly human, so she'll be a main character too in some future games.

>> No.307061
File: 86 KB, 400x1183, 1206466230200.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
307061

Thread was heading in this direction.

>> No.307066

>>307056
Human
Miko
Stage 5 Boss

Yeah, she's definitely going to be a playable character from now on.

>> No.307077

>>307056
No she won't. There's only room for one incident-solving shrine maiden in Gensokyo. And yeah, she is part human. Other part being Suwako's descendant.

Did you learn nothing from MoF?

>> No.307080

>>307061

Oh god, Sanae...

>> No.307086

>>307026
Hey genius. On top of being wrong, you forgot Mokou. She is also human.

>> No.307096

>>307033
>>307035
>>307044
>>307045
>>307047
>>307055

HA HA, Got ya

>> No.307101

>>307077
But Sanae's a wind priestess, not a shrine maiden.

>> No.307104

>>307096
You're not the poster. Nobody would actually be this pathetic.

>> No.307107

>>307077
main character like Youmu.

>> No.307108

>>307101
>Her role at the Moriya Shrine is similar to a Shrine Maiden, but with her inherited power Sanae has become more like a deity herself.
>similar to a Shrine Maiden

>> No.307112

>>307104
Rather, nobody would actually believe it was a joke in the first place. Because on 4chan there is no punchline such as "I got you".

>> No.307115

>>307108
Okay, thanks for proving my point.

>> No.307121

>>307115
Wind priestess = shrine maiden for all intents and purposes if it wasn't clear enough for you

>> No.307142

>>307121
So similar means equal now?

>> No.307148

>>307142
For all intents and purposes, yes.

>> No.307178

>>307148
I'm sure.

>> No.307200

>>307178
>>307148
>>307142
A knife and a dagger are similar. But for all intents and purposes they are the same.

>> No.307240

ITT proof that arguing on the internets is exactly like the Special Olympics

>> No.307243

>>307200
Okay, you moron.

Mikos are basically oracles to the shinto gods. They communicate with them to perform miracles and festivels for their worship.

Sanae is a priest. She serves Kanako. She spreads the word of Kanako. When Kanako shits on the rug, she makes Sanae clean it up.

Even in Japan, mikos are different from priests.

>> No.308242

What deity does Reimu serve?

>> No.308254

>>308242
Herself and money

>> No.308269
File: 393 KB, 600x840, 1206474191638.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
308269

>>308242

>> No.308406

are males allowed to apply for the position of maid? because i'm interested and would love to serve mistresses in a frilly maid uniform

>> No.308458

I wouldn't mind working at SDM
Better than most jobs, really.

>>
Reply to thread [?]Don't expect anything heroic. Your post will not be uploaded to the original board.
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Action