/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

[Hong Meiling 門門 !!CkFE91f1n9T No.]

>>296998

[Guro-Chan No.]

>>296999
.......Even I have lines which I can't cross, but god damn it that is just wrong.

[Hong Meiling 門門 !!CkFE91f1n9T No.]

>>297002
Your arrow liking fetishes are way worse than subtle allusions ;__;

[Anonymous No.]

>>296999
reported

[Flandrenonymous !CAERF1YrA. No.]

>>296999
...

That's just...that's just too cruel.

[Youmu! !!JxHWn3PPDwE No.]

>>296998

[Anonymous No.]

gulpu

[Anonymous No.]

>>297040

How you get so small?

[Anonymous No.]

Foraging for wild roots and nuts one day, you accidentally become lost in the woods away from the village. As darkness falls, and you still have yet to find your way back to the village, fear sticks its icy claw into your gut. These woods are not safe at all after dark. Carefully, cautiously, you wind your way around overly rambunctious fairies playing danmaku with one another, and give wide birth to a dancing swirl of fireflies with some likely highly dangerous girl playing in the midst of them. Desperation sets in, as even the light of the moon seems less and less sufficient to find your way. Have you gone so far into the woods that the trees have blocked almost all light?

A sudden wave of relief hits you as you hear a beautiful voice echo through the woods. You can somehow manage to discern where it comes from, and decide for reasons that aren't clear to you to follow the voice. Though the voice is wondrous, the lyrics of the song are... well, odd. At the very least, you are comforted by the fact that the voice is extolling the wonders of eating eel, rather than human flesh, and press on in hopes of finding someone who might help guide you home.

You stumble through the brambles, and can finally dimly make out what appears to be a small food stand. Even the lantern lights of this apparently grilled eel stand seems impossibly dim. A young woman with odd clothes and strange wings flips skewers of eel over the grill.

"Oh, traveler, traveler, bloodied red, red~. He looks like he's scared out of his heady head~. It's dark, too dark, indeed, for human eyes, eyes~. But I'm selling a cure. It's true, no lies lies~. All you need is to eat some tasty eel, eel~ It’s the wondrous night blindness curing meal, meal~!

Sight returns with great speed, speed~. Trust it, it's guaranteed, teed~!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>297151

STOP RIGHT THERE

[Anonymous No.]

Foraging for wild roots and nuts one day, you accidentally become lost in the woods away from the village. As darkness falls, and you still have yet to find your way back to the village, fear sticks its icy claw into your gut. These woods are not safe at all after dark. Carefully, cautiously, you wind your way around overly rambunctious fairies playing danmaku with one another, and give wide birth to a dancing swirl of fireflies with some likely highly dangerous girl playing in the midst of them. Desperation sets in, as even the light of the moon seems less and less sufficient to find your way. Have you gone so far into the woods that the trees have blocked almost all light?

A sudden wave of relief hits you as you hear a beautiful voice echo through the woods. You can somehow manage to discern where it comes from, and decide for reasons that aren't clear to you to follow the voice. Though the voice is wondrous, the lyrics of the song are... well, odd. At the very least, you are comforted by the fact that the voice is extolling the wonders of eating eel, rather than human flesh, and press on in hopes of finding someone who might help guide you home.

You stumble through the brambles, and can finally dimly make out what appears to be a small food stand. Even the lantern lights of this apparently grilled eel stand seems impossibly dim. A young woman with odd clothes and strange wings flips skewers of eel over the grill.

"Oh, traveler, traveler, bloodied red, red~.
He looks like he's scared out of his heady head~.
It's dark, too dark, indeed, for human eyes, eyes~.
But I'm selling a cure. It's true, no lies lies~.
All you need is to eat some tasty eel, eel~
It’s the wondrous night blindness curing meal, meal~!
Sight returns with great speed, speed~.
Trust it, it's guaranteed, teed~!"

[Anonymous No.]

“I remember reading something about this,” you mumble, “aren’t you the one that’s causing this night-blindness in the first place?”

“Hee hee. Yes, and you’re absolutely right, right~, But eat, or you’ll stay blind all night, night~.” Keeping your thoughts about the absurdity of the lyrics, much less the attempt to carry on a conversation, in the song, you resign yourself to eating the food of this suspicious youkai.

Your vision suspiciously, immediately improves.

In spite of yourself, you enjoy the meal. Eel is an odd food, but she’s quite the cook, and if you don’t listen to the words, her singing’s rather relaxing and graceful. You stay a while, and get into a conversation. You get along so well that she offers food on the house.

You, however, refuse, saying that such an offer is much too generous. Such ingredients are hard to come by, and you would be horribly embarrassed to be in such a debt to a girl working as hard as she is. (Avoid Bad End #1!)



Reaching into your pockets, you realize that you were traveling a little light, as what you had planned to be a quick gathering expedition has turned into almost an overnight stay. Feeling more than a little sheepish, you ask if you could, perhaps, exchange some of the wild vegetables or nuts you had gathered to help pay for a portion of the food. Although she is somewhat tempted by the nuts, you come up with an alternate plan.

[Anonymous No.]

Starting from that day, you help to sell grilled eel inside of the village. It’s something of a commute between the two places, but sales of eel are surprisingly good, especially since the rather landlocked humans are too afraid of youkai to go out for more than shoreline seafood. She quickly starts to raise significantly more money for feeding her ‘extended family’ with grain using a direct approach instead of trying to trick wayward wanderers.

Eventually, your partnership is strengthened in a far more personal way, as the two of you progress from friends to lovers. You come to love her silly way of singing through conversations, and her perpetually cheerful, tricksterish ways. You start to grow into the habits of a youkai, sleeping most of the day away. Every evening you spend with her, you feel like a child again.

Later in the night, however, the two of you are entirely adult. In the mornings, you take her up in your arms, her frame almost terrifyingly light. In your bed, she sings, too. It’s incredible, the sensation of her wordless voice, and the sensation of her body meld in a harmony that melt through everything else in your mind.

It’s something that takes getting used to, but Mystia swells up quickly, and comes to lay your eggs in a nest-like futon at her home in the forest. You have to take more and more time away from the human village to stay with your unborn children, and keep the eggs warm, and working on adding more eggs to the nest.

[Anonymous No.]

The End: Then it all changed. A pair of ghostly girls came crashing through the forest, laying waste to everything that moved. They brutally murdered fairy after fairy, even ones who put up no fight whatsoever. You tried to stop her, but Mystia leapt out to stop them from harming the woodland home of her fellow birds. She tried to use her night blindness ability and her ability to call upon other youkai upon the leader ghost, but to your horror, you see the green-silver streak of the younger-looking girl invader dart behind your lover, and cruelly skewer her from behind. Blood and yolk from her most recent unlaid eggs mix in streams pouring off of her quickly drenched dress, as her wonderful voice cracked and fell into a bloody gurgle.

“Youmu~. That looks so tasty, why don’t we stop for a bit to have something to eat.”

As you wildly stumbled forward, coming close to the green-and-silver girl far too late, the girl twists ever-so-slightly. Her forearm darted out in a blur, backhanding you through the wall of Mystia’s home without her ever even turning to face you. You crumpled into a ball, broken in body and soul.

“Yuyuko-sama, we really need to manage our time better. We can’t stop for eating every ten minutes if we are to ever complete our task.”

“But You~mu~, there’s even an empty yakitori stand below us. The oven still has some coals smoldering. Just fire it back up.”

The girl called Youmu sighs, and says, “Yes, Yuyuko-sama.” To your indescribable horror, she lifted your still-struggling lover up, and threw her down upon the grill, cooking her alive after rekindling the flames.

The ghost called Yuyuko giggled with glee as she tears the arm off of Mystia. Once the songbird youkai’s gurgling scream of terror died down, the ghost said, “It’s lovely to cook yakitori like this. It sears all the juices right in!”

[Anonymous No.]

>>297158
Anon, please stop. Stop.

[Anonymous No.]



“Ah! I just remembered.” The ghost then said. “That girl had eggs! Let’s have omelettes, Youmu, omelettes!”

Youmu disinterestedly floated over the hollowed out husk of your dispirited body, to take away your unborn children, and crack them over a skillet. “Ick. They were fertilized.” The light in the eyes of Mystia then went out, drowned in her tears of horror and sorrow.

“You can’t be so picky, Youmu. I just think of it as extra protein.”



“I can’t make myself believe you think of what you eat at all, my lady.”

“Well, that’s not true at all, Youmu! A girl must always think of what she eats! If she doesn’t, she’ll lose her girlish figure!”

“I don’t even want to start arguing with that, my lady.”

...



After enjoying their macabre meal, they finally left you to your puddle of ineffectual tears.

[Anonymous No.]

>>297154
>>297151
Hivemind.

[Anonymous No.]



“Ah! RaN, lOoK! tHeRe’S oNe! ThAt CoUnTs, DoEsN’t It?”

”Yukari-sama, aren’t the rules that we are only supposed to take humans from the outside world?”

“BaH, rUlEs, ShMuLeS. iT fIlLs ThE qUoTa.”



A purple miasma rips the ground out from under you, as you are flailed about through a bizarre sub-space. 

You are ejected onto the floor of the most impressive kitchen you have ever seen. A maid turns to look at you with a pretty and elegant smile. In her hands is the most wicked-looking knife you have ever seen.



BAD END.

[Anonymous No.]

FUCK YOU ANON. FUCK YOU. WHY DO TOUHOU COPYPASTA ALWAYS END WITH SOMEBODY DYING?

[Anonymous No.]

>>297210
Pastas are taken from the infamous Touhou Bad Ends thread over at Pooslmcmahsdh. There's an article on Touhou wiki about them. My favourite is the long, long Sakuya one.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

somebody write some happy touhou copypasta.

[Anonymous No.]

>>297218

It's fucked up, incredibly so. Revenge plotting is cool, though ultimately futile.

Honestly though, it's gotten boring. The same "SHIT SUX FGT" only works so often before every story gives off the same vibe as what came before it.

Good Ends would be awesome, but they're so obsessed with this notion that only bad ends can have any real meaning that the Good End thread floundered hard.

[Anonymous No.]

>>297268

Case in point.

[Anonymous No.]

>>297229
You've been seeing Marisa for about three months now, but you don't have the heart to tell her that you aren't really interested in her. Oh no; you're interested in something much smaller, much tighter. You're interested in her Mini-Hakkero.

One evening, while Marisa is drunk and in bed, you take it from her table and sneak off together into the forest. And it's great. Oh yes, every bit as great and as you had imagined it to be. However, as you come close to finishing, you hear sobbing somewhere nearby.

Investigating, you see some poor, broken soul underneath a tree, still alive but injured and obviously in mental shock. Nearby, a ghost is eating your kinda-neighbor Mystia, who is being cooked alive on her own oven. Nearby, another ghost--or half-ghost, rather--is making an omelette.

Quite bizarre. That's Gensokyo for you.

With that, you climax. The Mini-Hakkero responds with a Master Spark the likes of which you've never seen before, obliterating the scene before you.

You return to Marisa's house, clean off the Mini-Hakkero, and go about life as usual.

[Anonymous No.]

>>297218

link?

[Anonymous No.]

>>297268
Awww how sweet

[Anonymous No.]

>>297284
http://www.pooshlmer.com/touhouwiki/index.php/Fiction_found_on_imageboards

[Anonymous No.]

>>297268
What the fuck?
Ejaculation spark?