What if I told you the craters on the moon weren't created by 14 Billion year-old space debris, but rather the Lunarian Mortars?
The Lunarian Capital is known far and wide for being superior to Earth in almost every way, though being a few hundred thousand miles/kilometers away and led by two retards.
Despite the ancient age of the Earth and Moon, surely one would think they would be untouched in an almost orderly Solar System, but no. Not only has the Moon been defiled, but it has been a grave yard for nearly the entire Lunarian Army.
At this point, people will ask "how?" or "why?" and expect to get a full run down of the thing from the natives themselves, but no. They won't. Not only are the common "Cute Little Lunarian Bunny" citizens so uninformed to the point of retardation, but they are also lazy despite their constant slave-working by the Watatsuki sisters.
The only one who could have told the story is currently in Gensokyo and goes by the name "Reisen Udongein Inaba".
There is no way you'll ever get an answer from her, let alone find and acquire her assistance since leaving her allies to die when she escaped in the middle of the massacre. To this day, she still suffers from PTSD.
Starting from the beginning, there was once a time when all native Earthlings lived on Earth and all was fine. All until certain events took place, and a "not so small" group of people decided the Earth was becoming too "impure", so they came together to devise a plan to go elsewhere, and as we know, they went to the moon, and dubbed themselves Lunarians.
Nobody knows what happened between that time and now, but we do know of the recent events that have taken place. Like a certain "invasion" as they call it, that happened from 1969 - 1972, which marked the beginning of 6 "invasions" which took place. All we know is that two humans, yes, two /humans/, decided to go and plant a flag on the moon. A flag with 50 stars, and 13 stripes held up on a pole in the vast emptiness that is the surface of the moon and dark empty sky that is space. One could see this as claiming unmarked and unowned territory, and they would be right, however, they were met with unfriendly forces upon their arrival.
The unfriendly denizens of the moon looked more like humanized rabbits, and at a glance, would be seen as small, cute and harmless- until you saw they were carrying weapons. And charging. Right at you and the flag like a bunch of savages. For rather cute creatures, they were rather barbaric.
After planting the flag on the moon, the humans appeared to be dancing, and riding in some kind of contraption with four wheel-like structures attached to it whilst going back to the same location every now and then. Probably taking pictures or something.
After seeing something like that, surely the head Lunarians would think twice before attacking a possibly more advanced and possibly unknown species, but no. They went on and attacked like a bunch of fucking retards. And with that, is how it all began.
We know not what the "invasion" was like, but the Royal Cocksucking Sisters call it "The War", leading us to our topic, the first "Lunarian War"- in which they lost horrobly. Spoiler Alert.
The losses were grim.
For them of course.
The Lunarians lost such a large chunk of their army that "...there aren't many left..." -Yorihime Watatsuki. And that isn't the half of it. The two /humans/ who invaded left with nothing but small blemishes that'll go away in a week or two, as the Lunar Army lost <Thousands> of their soldiers. Yes you heard me right, <THOUSANDS>. The ENTIRE LUNARIAN ARMY against two friendly humans. TWO humans and they LOST! You're telling me that an entire force of the moon, over six arrivals by the same two humans in four (4) years and multiple flags, resulted the DEATHS of the MAJORITY of the LUNARIAN ARMY, much so to a point where their forces are cripped to a point to where they can take on Gensokyo, just barely, when four Gensokian denizens put a stop to a GODDESS OF HELL, a PURE incarnation of HATRED and a HELL FAIRY who managed to fucking terrorize them to a point of having to INVADE GENSOKYO, as well as TOTAL EVACUATION of the Moon, into ANOTHER realm which they didn't even know they had entered on their own will as a trap- and they couldn't even manage to so much as give two friendly, non hostile HUMANS a hard fight? Not to mention it took them fucking decades- DECADES to get rid of an UNGUARDED flag? WHAT! You afraid the Youkai in the shadows are gonna snatch your ankles if you get within 50 feet of the flag? You scared you'll turn to dust if you touch it? Go blind if you so much as glance at it? Grow the FUCK up.