/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Yukari wants you to join her in the bath.

Y/N?

[Anonymous No.]

n

[Anonymous No.]

Y

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490475
N.

As much as I'd love to see her naked, I don't trust her.

[Anonymous No.]

N

I simply cannot trust her.

[Anonymous No.]

I don't bathe.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490481
>>2490487
>>2490488
Please?

[Anonymous No.]

[x] jump into the lake.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490487
>>2490488
Hivemind

[Anonymous No.]

Yeah, why not, what do I really have that's worth holding on to?

[Anonymous No.]

Go be old somewhere else, hag.

[Anonymous No.]

No, she will gap shit into my ass

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490492
No way man. I'm not getting my own penis gapped up my ass.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490492
You're not going to let me say no, are you? Why did I even let you close enough to ask?

[Anonymous No.]

Only if Ran and/or Chen is there too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490499
>>2490500
...Another hivemind?

[Anonymous No.]

lookin kinda Teresa there Yukari

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

Yukari and I are actually the same person, so I'd be taking a bath with myself.

>Yo dawg, we heard you liked causal loops so we put yourself with yourself so you can bathe while you bathe

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490498
Please....I'm...I'm not a hag...

[Koakuma !!QTSq2xniWw5 No.]

Y. I'd take the risk.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490521
I know this trick. You're trying to make me feel bad so I'll get in with you, and then the next thing I know there's a large object lodged in my rectum.

It's working ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

Y

Worth the risk.

[Anonymous No.]

I just want someone to help me wash my back.

[Anonymous No.]

Well I guess I could use a bath...
And one just can not let such hospitality go to waste, that would be rude.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490521
Your colleagues are looking for you hag.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2490542

What happened to Chen and Ran? Did they give you the finger and vanish when you brought this idea up?

[Anonymous No.]

Only if I get to stick it up Chen

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490542
Ok, ok fine. I'll do it. But I'm washing your back and then I'm out, ok?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490530
You guys...really do think I am some wrinkled old hag...don't you...

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490508
WTF'S wrong with Chen in that picture

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490475
ewww get those nasty milkbag fat deposits away from me

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490564
I never said that. But I still don't trust you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490564
sorry babe, if you're more than 8 we can't procreate

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490558
Thanks. It'll be fun!

[Anonymous No.]

sage for role playing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490587
Ok, time to put on my robe and wizard hat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490591
I-It's not like we were being serious, y-you know...

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2490591

Notice that no tripfag started this. Also, I am pointedly being out-of-character in this thread for just that reason

Lovely weather tonight, wouldn't you say? It's clear and cool.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490600
Gah you fucking faggot, it's always "ANON/TRIPFAG" with you.

Why can't we just love each other?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490600
Sure is ZOMG ANON PERSECUTING TRIPFAGS complex around here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490591
>This is a roleplay thread so I won't bump it, too bad for you guys. Just telling you guys that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490574
>>2490576
>>2490582
>old wrinkled hag

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490607

Tripfags should be persecuted and run out of town with torches and pitchforks.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2490613

Secure tripcodes are for fags.

Tripcodes are for jerks.

Moot agreed, don't bother him about it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490613
I suggest public execution. With guillotines involved, obviously.

[None !KYON.wwv9s No.]

>>2490551
Don't call them hags, they are mature women.

[Anonymous No.]

After repeated insults of her being called an old, wrinkled, hag something happens you'd thought you would never, ever see.....Yukari begins to sob. Crying into her hands you hear her stuttering out, "I'm...n..not a hag..."

What now?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490649
[x] Love tenderly

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490649
I say "Fascinating". And then I rest my face against my palm.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490475
YES. YES. YES. A MILLION TIMES YES.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490649
If she were sobbing, I would hug her softly and tell her that she was a beautiful woman.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490653
quite the predictable one eh, Anonymous?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2490626

Maximilien Robespierre, you are a fine young dandy, how about leading the 4chan Revolution?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490649
Aww hell, here comes ruby falls!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490651
>>2490670

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490683
lolitroll'd yu

[Anonymous No.]

These threads suck. I mean, if you were clever, you could make it work. But you're not clever!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490649
I'd hug her and apologize.

And then find out it was an elaborate troll on her part to gap things into my ass

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490691
And what if there was no clever ploy or underhandedness in her crying? What if it was genuine?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490702
It's the JUST AS PLANNED/DICTATOR OF GENSYOKO Yukari. Around here, you never relax.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490702
The only thing genuine with Yukari are her ulterior motives. You must always suspect. Anything less will have you killed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490702
In my case if it were genuine? I'd just hug her more. Yukari is love, and she deserves our love.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490702
I'd have no way of knowing if it was genuine, so I'd always be on guard. Come on, it's Yukari.

If I was 100% sure it was genuine by some otherworldy power, see >>2490713

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490713
as if trusting a youkai is a good idea

idiot

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490708
>>2490709
>>2490718
You are the kind of people whom leave Yukari lonely. Always assuming she's scheming something when all she wants is a hug, nothing more.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490731
>Anon participating in a roleplaying thread calling another roleplaying anon an idiot

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490740
what is hank hill's connection here?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490740
>oh noes, any sort of context confuses me

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2490745

in b4 PROPANE.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490746
That was a really shitty comeback.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490745
>>2490751
Propane and propane accessories

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490754
because it wasn't one

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490765
You're right. Usually a comeback has to make sense for it to be considered one.

[Anonymous No.]

Wash my back?

Please?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490773
Indeed, derailment failed though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490776

She's wearing men's briefs.

Backwards.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490776
Y-You've been nothing but mean to Anoymous, he'll n-never trust you.

[Anonymous No.]

Yukari then, after her bath, asks you to help her into bed and tuck her in.

Y/N

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490790

You know that hole thewy have in the front of those things? She wants you to fill her gap.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490797
Alice you're the only one for me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490800
Heyell yeah boys, Ima get me some strange! WHOOO!

Now which side you want me on?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490800
Y

I go about this normally with no intentions for it to go any further then leave.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490800
Yesyesyesyesyes oh dear god yes

[Anonymous No.]

I heard Yukari can make gaps in the barrier between fantasy and reality. i.e., she can make fictional characters real.

Does this mean she can make herself and Touhou real?!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490850

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490850
It's like schrodinger's cat, or like taking a speed of light ride through a black hole.

I would rather Lovecraft's entities existed. I'm pretty sick of humanity, and this thread is pretty solid evidence of why. Let 'em wipe us out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490822
But as you leave she grabs your hand gently and softly asks if you would spend the night with her....in her bed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490863

That's nice, dear.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490850
there is no boundary between reality and illusion, either something is real or it's not, its boolean, boundaries only exist in planes that are contiguous or division in a continuous plane, 1D is an exception, it has no boundaries, 2D is represented by a line, 3D is a 3D line etc

when it comes to reality however, boundaries don't really exist, the so called boundaries we see are either non-physical (sky line, nation border) or physical

the physical boundary is a special case, the boundary do not exist for the sake of existence but it's rather a side effect of the physical law, the surface of water is caused by gravity, relative mass between water and the surrounding elements and the physical difference between the molecular structure of water and it's surroundings, a physical boundary can be defined as a plane where elements on one side is physically different than what's on the other side

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490865
>But as you leave she grabs your hand gently and softly asks if you would spend the night with her.... so she can have dinner.

Fix'd

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490865
....HAHA NO

I would politely turn her invitation down stating that I do not believe that I deserve to lay by an exquisite lady such as herself and tell her she would deserve better. I give her a wave, say goodnight and then leave.

[Mel !iKGMr61IHM!!VJXiIsRXUJN No.]

>>2490475

I don't know if I like the way she's hiding her crotch with the washrag like that.

PUT IT IN MY ASS

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490874
Woah.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490882
OH SHI

Not my brain Yukari!!! I have mental problems!!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490882
After helping her bathe, helping her to bed and then tucking her in, she turns around and eats me?

I knew my niceness would get me screwed over one day.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490973
You forgot to cook dinner that's why, just ask Sakuya to rewind time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490800

[Anonymous No.]

>>2490979
She never asked for dinner. I assumed Ran made it.

To hell with this, I'm dead now.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2490979

I've always known Anon was a TUFF GUY, especially on the internet. But for some reason, I can't see him being ballsy enough to cut chunks of his own flesh off and stir-fry them for Yukari.

He'd exsanguinate himself part-ways in anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491009
well see if Ran was around, she wouldn't need you to bath her, or tuck her in now would she

it's a elaborate trap to savour a delicacy

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491017
Well it's glad to know that I smoke so I probably tasted like straight up shit. I hope Yukari enjoyed it thoroughly the bitch.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm coming for ya, baby!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491035

Yukari's sense of taste is different from normal humans'.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491042
You aren't going to let me have the last laugh are you?

[Anonymous No.]

so what, where is it said that yukari eats humans?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2491035
>>2491042

>Well it's glad to know that I smoke so I probably tasted like straight up shit

Mmm, smoked meat.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2491063

You're about as sharp as a bowling ball, aren't you? Canonically, humans are the staple food for youkai. Babaa-chan is a youkai.

Of course, there are some of you who are hell-bent on portraying Gensokyo as a utopian, eternally happy place where youkai never eat humans and instead have tea and biscuits with them.
You will go to any lengths to defend this point, too - after all, there was this one chucklefuck trying to say that humans were probably just a delicacy that actually tasted abhorrent to youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491069
C'mon, we can dream, can't we? T_T

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491069 Of course, there are some of you who are hell-bent on portraying Gensokyo as a utopian, eternally happy place where youkai never eat humans and instead have tea and biscuits with them.
Like ZUN.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491071
Does alice eat humans? She's a youkai, but she was previously a human. That'd border on cannibalism.

I think the possibility of being eaten makes Gensokyo more wondrous. Humans befriending such dangerous creatures, moreso. But I think the youkai that eat humans are mostly based on animals.

It's not clear what Yukari is. If she "ate" humans at all, it'd probably be in a less animalistic way, consuming their soul or something god-like.

[None !Nipaa0mi0. No.]

>>2491071
Yukari says she has humans in her larder. Just because she has tea with Raymoo doesn't mean hat she doesn't treat other humans as food.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491069
Youkai is a general term for a supernatural being, this can be anything from man-eating grotesque monsters, to humans who gain magical powers, to dangerous children of demi-gods, beings born from meta-physical desires and pets of powerful aspects. There are both good and evil, harmful and harmless, intelligent and stupid, just as people are varied, so are youkai.

Although they are dangerous to people, they aren't the worst since they are almost right at the bottom of the power heirarchy.

[Anonymous No.]

Also, in gensokyo, all humans know that they reincarnate, so it's not as big a deal. I mean, you still lose everything you are, your memories of your past life etc.

The big time youkai who eat humans are probably relatively kind and gentle with their prey, gently explaining that sorry, we have to eat you. You're delicious, this won't hurt, etc...

Then you get to go hang out with Yuyuko for a few years until you're reincarnated.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491115
>Then you get to go hang out with Yuyuko for a few years until you're reincarnated.
But yes, that depend on your doings in the world. It's up to Sikieiki to decide you go to hell or just standby at Hakugyokuro. Cause we know, Anonymous doesn't deserve a place in heaven

[Anonymous No.]

Whens the last time any of you bathed?
Go get in the shower. I promise it'll feel nice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491224
I bathe twice a day. That's the awesome thing about someone live in the equator. they have reasons to take a bath

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491092
I think Alice places more interest in beating up humans
rather than eating them.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2491242

Torturing them to death, also.

>>2491115

Do you usually apologize to a steak on your plate before consuming it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491230
but if you live in the equator why would you want to?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491247
It's hot and sticky there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491094
If Yukari bumped off Reimu, she might have to do something resembling work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491246
yep. my parents are fucking crazy conspiracy end-of-the-world types, and we keep animals that we eat. i've had to kill chickens before... I always try to keep them calm while I'm preparing, petting them and stuff, and I make the cut quick and clean.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm already there arn't I?

I'm already in the bath because she'd put me there without my prior permission.

Anyway, I pray to god she lets me get my swimsuit trunks on. Don't want her seein my massive boner. That'd be embarrassing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491301
You are a good person.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2491321

>Don't want her seein my massive boner. That'd be embarrassing.

She's well over centuries old, there's surely nothing you've got that she hasn't seen at least four times before.

Unless you are an alien, of course.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491338
Well...

I don't like telling anyone this, but I AM from beyond the stars.

I just came from the "Fat" stars.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491338
She spends most of the time asleep, though, so it's questionable.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2491360

She sleeps, she's not blind.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491364
or IS she?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2491367

hurr hurr hurr

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491374
arc you got some stupid on ya

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2491404

Yes, that's the direct result of talking to Anons. Let me just wipe that off...

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491413
stupid doesn't wipe off.

you have to boil it out.

[Anonymous No.]

Yes. Because I can't beat the game to see her outside the bath.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2491115
>The big time youkai who eat humans are probably relatively kind and gentle with their prey, gently explaining that sorry, we have to eat you. You're delicious, this won't hurt, etc...

I'm sure Yuka says this all the time.