/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Is this the correct way to prepare for the entry into the portal?

[Anonymous No.]

>>17993158
No. Sanny is just a desparate slut.

Here. Here are 8 simple steps.
1. Go to a forest, a forest in Japan is perferred for obvious reasons. (Gensokyo is in japan you dingus.)

2. Don't set up anything. Like a camp. You won't need it. Trust me, it's a waste of time, so replace an camping gear with wine or something with a high concentration of alcohol in it.

3. After a few miles (you can count them with each step. One mile for you would be ~20,000 wide steps.), rest and then proceed to get wasted off of 5 or more gallons of alcohol. Don't sit down. You should remain standing to get ahold of your balance. If you fall, get up. If you can't, sit there and waste the precious time you could have spent, looking for Gensokyoland.

4. If you succeeded in that- Stumble drunkly around the forest for a few more miles. Until things get weirder than they already are. I.e. Huge flashing lights and people dancing around you like a bunch of faggots.
(That is the hardest part. 99.99~9% of people fuck this up somehow. They all either die by falling from height, or are taken back to the city and are jailed or deported for breaking laws pertaining to the wellbeing of the environment.)

5. You should be wasted now, and still drinking. If you happen to find time to be a little "off", then there is a high chance you made it into Gensokyo, or you passed out like a lightweight faggot, in which case, you fell and hit your head on something nonexistent, so you find yourself in the same place you stopped.

6. If you are in Gensokyo, wander around for a few days. You won't find many notable, worthwhile, useful people on the ground, but rather up above you in the sky. But you are a useless human and you cannot fly. So use your legs- if you still have them.
Unless they are rofflestomped by Reimu or someone else powerful, you won't find too many people strong enough to keep you safe from the evil youkai- or so you hope would be the case.

7. If you are indeed in Gensokyoland and meet someone unhuman, don't be an assnut. The youkai in Gensokyoland can rip out your spine and shove it up your ass faster than you can say your name backwards. Unless it's Sakuya, then the amount of time it took doesn't matter at all. But that's highly impossible to say the least.

7.5. If the person you met is human, make sure in your drunkenness that they arent any of the important humans, like Reimu. If they are, you are fucked. You will either enjoy living in a shitty village the rest of your life, be sent back to the place you came from, or left to be eaten by a stupid youkai, like Rumia.
This is all assuming you didn't run into fairies and decide they would be good "companions".

7.75. If you meet a youkai, you better be friendly. At that point, your trip was pointless and you're about to end up as breakfast.
Your only hope was to find a purple umbrella in the middle of a forest, but even you can fuck that up in a brightly colored forest of fairies and other creatures.
But this is all if you aren't wasted. If you are wasted, they'll probably ask you to give them a few. [hundred bottles.] If you fail at that, which you will, the above applies and you lost your chance.

8. If you failed in getting to Gensokyoland, i.e. You were put in captivity by savages, or monks who you assaulted when you were wasted, then you should immediately chug upwards of 5 gallons of alcohol and go back to the point of which you started, and try again. If you somehow fuck this up, you're probably bound to be killed by something. In which case, don't fucking bother. If you die, you'll go see Yuyuko anyways, and you would have then come to the conclusion that you cannot get to Gensokyo physically, but mentally, like everyone else obsessed with Touhou, as the only method of travel as there is no "entry portal into Gensokyo" as there are more than "just one" Gensokyo, so it is best you return to posting about your favorite Touhou and everything you want to do to/with them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>17994748
Y-you seem to have done it before.

Please show me. And post video.

[Anonymous No.]

>>17994748
I knew my alcoholism would come in handy one day

[Anonymous No.]

>>17994748
i did this and i just found a dragon in the woods. shit instructions

[Anonymous No.]

>>17994748
Shit instructions.

Should have tried the Sanae-way.