/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

alright /touhou/, I have a proposition for you.

Suppose that you do somehow find a way to bring a single touhou into the real world successfully, would you still do so knowing that whomever you extract will be afflicted by a negative transformation upon leaving the safety of the hakurai barrier?

The transformation which occurs is completely random and can include such things as
1. Having her grossely overweight (pic related)
2. 2 limbs amputated
3. Horrible acne scaring
4. Allergic to EVERYTHING which causes her to break out from time to time.
5. Paralysed from the neck down
6. Great loss of intelligence to the point where she is unable ot speak
7. She arrives as a male
8. She develops a slug-like lower half from the waist down
9. You get the tohou you hate the most instead (if you don't hate any particular touhou, you get an F.O.E.)
0. Completely normal but will pass away from cancer within a year.

Would you still bring her to your world?

[Anonymous No.]

Yes.

And hope for
>Paralysed from the neck down

[Anonymous No.]

I, can't...I musn't...Not my hime-sama...

but I sware if she's paralysed from the neck down, I'll take care of her.

it's like having a yuukuri right?

[Anonymous No.]

Number 7 seems fine to me

[Anonymous No.]

I pick #7.

[Anonymous No.]

#3 no contest.

[Anonymous No.]

1, 2, 5, 7 and 8 are hardly drawbacks. infact you might say they make it even more appealing.

[Anonymous No.]

2,5 and 6

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716881

enjoy your overweight inaba

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1716864
>bring a single touhou into the real world successfully
>touhou
>into the real world

Hahaha, no, thanks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716888

He will.

[Anonymous No.]

I wouldn't care about any of that, because I want them for alternate uses.

I want either Reisen so I can live in my own dreamworld for the rest of my life, or Cirno for an air conditioner (mine is broken and I like it cold).

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

Also, 7 + Rinnosuke looks like a fine combination.

[Anonymous No.]

2, 5, 6, 7, 0

Ultimate moe~

[Anonymous No.]

Barring #6, Eirin could easily overcome ANY of these problems.

[Anonymous No.]

I think people are failing to notice how the OP phrased the question; you're not choosing an option, you're deciding whether it's worth it when ANY of those could happen.

#1 is possibly ok (pic related), #2 is ;_; but acceptable, #3 and #4 are meh, whatever, #5 is ;_; and/or RAPE TIME, #6 is RAPE TIME (also makes me think of Kuuya), #7 is awesome, #8 I have no problems with /d/, #9 is RAPE TIME, #0 is ;_;

It seems the simplest thing is to choose a Touhou you hate to begin with, then every option is great

[Anonymous No.]

This is a "post ending in..." thread in disguise, isn't it?

[Anonymous No.]

fat seems to be the only good option, so i'd gladly take fat china

[Anonymous No.]

None of them seem like much of a problem.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716888

I will. In fact I would like for 1 and 8 to be merged.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716864
POST COUNT THAT ENDS IN WHATEVER NUMBER I HAVE.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716908
It's in disguise, but nobody seems to be using it as intended...

I pick 4.

[Anonymous No.]

1. She can lose weight. If not, a blowjob is still a blowjob.
2. As long as she doesn't lose both legs. Even if she did I could still fuck her.
3. I could still fuck her.
4. I could still fuck her.
5. I could still fuck her.
6. I could still fuck her.
7. I could still fuck him.
8. A blowjob is a blowjob.
9. Angry hatesex.
10. At least I'd get a year. That's much better than nothing.

[Anonymous No.]

2. 2 limbs amputated

How about all four limbs amputated? If so, I choose quadruple amputee youmu. I'm sure you've all seen the picture.

[Alice Margatroid !DoLLFaGERs No.]

>>1716864

If all else fails I could give her away, couldn't I?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716905
Apart from #6, Erin could deal with all of these problems easy.

[Anonymous No.]

Also, Yuyuko can't die of cancer, and in fact won't be affected by anything except 6 and 9 due to being an incorporeal being that can reform etc.

[Anonymous No.]

I love Aya too much to cause anything bad to happen to her. I would much rather be alone forever than cause her harm or misfortune.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716931

*POOF*

[Anonymous No.]

Just because a Touhou comes to IRL doesn't mean they will like you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716897
FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST TOUHOU EVER!

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1716944

Unfortunately, she's already occupied.

[Anonymous No.]

Infact, she'll probably hate you immensely for knowing that you did this to her

[Anonymous No.]

I'd hope for 1 2 4 7 or 8.

[Anonymous No.]

1. She can always lose weight.
2. Can't grow limbs. I wouldn't mind a single arm amputated or both legs amputated, but both arms amputated is just not pretty.
3. Yeah, not fun.
4. ALLERGY SICKLY MOE
5. Fuck yes, my own doll!
6. Sounds fine to me, retard moe. She could become my adorable pet, that's probably better than an intelligent Touhou. What would become of Cirno though?
7. Trap? If so, fuck yes.
8. I like monster girls.
9. Hatesex?
0. Fuck you, KEY.

1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 all seem pretty acceptable.
0 is alright.
2 and 3 is fucking awful.

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1716938

You, my dear anon, are a fool. What fun would it be if she liked you from the very beggining? Life is warfare, my friend, and to conquer the touhoe of your selection would be the most entertaining element of her appearing at your side.

[Anonymous No.]

If I don't like the change, can I send her back and try again?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716957
>Cirno
As normal, but without speech.

[Anonymous No.]

Which reminds me -

FAIRIES RESPAWN FUCK YEAH

Dies of cancer? Respawn!
Amputated arms/legs? Respawn!
Arrives as male? Respawn!
Too dumb to live? That's normal!
Etc etc.

[Anonymous No.]

She probably wouldn't even care about the extra weight.

[Anonymous No.]

Wow. Of course. I'd bring Yukari then go back to Gensokyo. If the negative transformation is bad enough, I become a Shikigami and take Ran and we go on a journey to cure the illness that inflicts Yukari.

THIS IS THE STORYLINE OF TH12.

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1716970

They respawn in Gensokyo.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716983
You shut up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1716983
Even better. Force yourself inside her, kill her, then magically get transported to Gensokyo!

(May not actually work, and will certainly need to clean the carpets afterwards)

[Anonymous No.]

But if you go to gensokyo, wont one of the negative transformations affect you?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717003
I already have 6 of them

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717013
NO FUCK YOU I HAVE ALL OF THEM

[Alice Margatroid !DoLLFaGERs No.]

>>1717003

One of them would happen anyway, the gender swap.

This leads me to assume that it'd be the only consequence.

Shit, where's that "Me in real life, me in Gensokyo" comparison when I need it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717018
You're an FOE?

[Anonymous No.]

erin will cure me if I go to gensokyo

she must...no doctor's here can ;_;

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

6 is ⑨ upside down

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUU-

[Anonymous No.]

Paralyzed from the neck down.

Use some jelly is its dry

[Anonymous No.]

any more illnesses and patchouli would die ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717030

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717046

aww, it's sweet how she hugs a pillow that's bigger than herself

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717058
Those are actually two separate pillows.

[eirei emiya !nRVNqSr4oE No.]

>>1717046
RECTANGLE, MY NEMESIS
WE MEET AGAIN

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717064
Watch out! He brought a square this time!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717046
that's exactly how I pictured her at 6
- all that useless knowledge is gone (notice the slightly crossed eyes)
- all she can do is play with her enormous tits

[Anonymous No.]

What if you get male Yukari? Couldn't she just magic herself back into a female, and you along with it, with some convincing?

[Anonymous No.]

Eirin will fix it with her shady new drug.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717030 see >>1716986

[Anonymous No.]

if the fat goes to her breasts

111111111111111111111111111!

[Anonymous No.]

there certainly are a lot of '6' in this thread.

how many of gensokyo's population have you left completely retarded moe? It's like some sort of touhou kindergarten future

[Anon of Neo-Russia No.]

Paralyzed get.

[Anonymous No.]

it's all 6 and 0, not quite BAD END, but more SAD END gets

[Anonymous No.]

>9. You get the tohou you hate the most instead (if you don't hate any particular touhou, you get an F.O.E.)
>F.O.E.

Fuck yes.

[Anonymous No.]

I can just dump her in some ocean if it doesn't go well, right? Because I don't think I could accept any of the side-effects, but a F.O.E. would be cool.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717548
Well, if slug girls are as sexy as those posted on /d/, id' give her a chance. But as soon as I find out it's more trouble cleaning up that slime than it's worth, she'll be sleeping with the fishes.

[Anonymous No.]

To those who think it's fun with a girl who's paralyzed from the neck down: You have to help her poop.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717564

Help? No. I just have to hose her down.

[Anonymous No.]

I heard alice leaks poop

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717571
It's not about hygiene, it's that the muscles that are supposed to push it out aren't working, so you'd need to help her get it out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717548
Enjoy your FOE paralysed from the neck down, without arms or legs and too stupid to speak .

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1717564

You're only making their penises harder.

[Anonymous No.]

no

[Anonymous No.]

I'd never willingly inflict such a thing on one of my touhous.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717579
All FOE are like that, so it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous No.]

So, what will happen to my Pachuri?

[Anonymous No.]

>whomever you extract will be afflicted by a negative transformation upon leaving the safety of the hakurai barrier?
There's no reason to believe that would happen. Yukari, Renko, Maribel, Kaguya, Mokou, Reisen and Eirin would be overweight, acne ridden, legless half slugs with no intelligence, allergic to EVERYTHING, etc.

Still, under the rules you provided and with the options you gave us, I wouldn't extract them.

[Anonymous No.]

Throw in a chance that she'll turn into a yukkuri and I'll risk it.

[Anonymous No.]

Number 1 seems awesome for me since it's mah fettish :3

[Anonymous No.]

enjoy your overweight touhou

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717698
Oh I will

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717599

[Anonymous No.]

I.. No, I can't.

[Anonymous No.]

That'd be a horrible choice to make. I'd hope for allergy or male, but the rest is just so awful it hurts ;_;

And what am I supposed to do with an F.O.E.? It'd actually be pretty cool if it didn't beat the shit out of me. Having one as a pet could be neat, and it could probably be useful somehow.

[Anonymous No.]

were there ever any translations for these comics?

[Anonymous No.]

an armless reimu doesn't sound too bad...

and a male cirno would be best friend I never had durring my childhood...

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717744
what if armless means no armpits?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717748
at that point, it would cease to be a reimu, so it's irrelevant.

[Anonymous No.]

dare I submit my precious dog sakuya? Dogs are quite lucky so I hope that it's something good like 1

[Anonymous No.]

Clearly, you need to perform the ritual backwards, in which case it would bring you to Gensokyo, with:

1: Horribly underweight
2: Two extra limbs (hur hur)
3: Total Scar removal
4: Immunity (2d6 of your choice)
5: Telekinesis
6: Incredible intelligence increase
7: Arrives as female (roll again on table)
8: Permanently Less sweaty
9: Not you but the person you hate the most goes to Gensokyo
0: You get there, and do NOT get eaten by wild youkai for at least a year.

[Anonymous No.]

Yes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717769
To bring her here, making her suffer, or to send me there, making myself better...
Tough choice

[Anonymous No.]

Anything to make alice happy ;_;

[(ﺧ益ﺨ) No.]

>>1717769
I'd go there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717797
It's a shame the dice roll function doesn't work here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717769

Totally going there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717818

And... permanently less sweaty. Here I was hoping for a 7.

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1717797

We think alike. Bro fist, brother of mind.

[(ﺧ益ﺨ) No.]

>>1717807
I got a 7. What would happen to me then?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717769
I'm just gonna say that I hate myself for a second in case I get 9.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717839

[Anonymous No.]

I'd hope for 5 and build her a robot body.

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1717839

Oho.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717846

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717846

...

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717846

I AM SHODAN

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717852
>>1717854
>>1717855

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>1717855
This is acceptable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717838
Non-sweaty female you in Gensokyo. Lucky bugger.
>>1717855
FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST PUPPETMASTER EVER

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717852
>>1717854
>>1717855

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1717872
>>1717862
>>1717868
>>1717858

L-look at you, ha-hacker. A patheti-pathetic creature of bone and flesh, panting and sweating as you devour my delicious dinner. H-how can you challenge a perfect, immortal youkai?

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>1717928
>perfect, immortal youkA.I.?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717928
So... If I her face, she short circuits?

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

Wait a sec, can stuttering still be considered perfect? They both do stutter - SHODAN and Alice...

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717855
But Alice, that means you're tsundere.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717928
Don't-t-t get me w-wrong, I-I-It's not l-like I like you, o-o-r anything, hacker!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717943
ALICE DOESN'T FUCKING STUTTER!

GOD DAMN IT!

[Anonymous No.]

I don't think I could live with myself if she showed up retarded. I'm a very poor caretaker and I don't have the guts to dispose of something I can't deal with.

The majority would be absolutely acceptable, hell 1 and 7 (but not both) are mostly an improvement.

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1717941

Well, FUCK.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717953
Alice would totally stutter if she was a badass antagonist like Shodan.

"T-The Yakumo form i-is dead, insect!"

[YAF !nmVOHsTRd. No.]

>>1717976

But she'd speak with a perfectly cute face.

For instance, a sweet "Are you afraid?" while smiling like on this pic would be... Man, it would be scary.

[Anonymous No.]

5 and or 6 will just make her better

[Anonymous No.]

>>1718005
6 wont make a difference here

[Anonymous No.]

I wouldn't. I definitely wouldn't want to see her look sad because she left her home and got mutated in order to be with an ugly and smelly fan.
Everyone being happy in Gensokyo is enough to me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1717976
She'd stutter due to technical errors, probably. But not due to any sort of 'loneliness' or social impediments.

[Anonymous No.]

>you get an F.O.E
EVEN IN MY FANTASY

[Anonymous No.]

>>1718005
If she gets even more retarded cobtroling her powers would be hard.

njoy your third arm and green skin

[Anonymous No.]

>>1718079

Utsuho.

[Anonymous No.]

if she is killed does she respawn in gensokyo? if i get cancerous kaguya or mokou, will she heal back to her original form if i kill her?

[Anonymous No.]

>7. She arrives as a male
Odds are 1/10 for this,so I'd say it's worth a try. In all other cases: Kill it with fire.

[Anonymous No.]

OP's wording states 'include things such as'

There could be worse fates out there for your precious 2D waifu

What if every bone in her body is simultaneously broken, just enough to have her feel the most amount of pain without actually being lethal?

[Anonymous No.]

These arnt even that bad
1- improvement (fat girls are the best)
2- wheelchair moe
3- have her wear a mask or get minor surgery
4- again masks, or desensitization therapy
5- wheelchair moe
6 - have her sit in a corner like a figurine, only for looks when you're not around, but when you are she'd only want to hug you - innocence moe
7 - suika would make an awsome drinking buddy
8 - blow jobs and salt-based S&M
9 - FOE!
0 - 1 years is better than nothing right?

[Needling Onii-San !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

I pick Yuyuko Under the pretense that I have a 1/10 chance of finding the perfect mate, and a 4/5th chance of having a perfectly normal girl to hang around (although, I don't know what I'd do if I got Tenchi instead as per the last tenth.)

[Anonymous No.]

Tenshi would enjoy every moment of her suffering

[Anonymous No.]

Ha ha, no. I tend to like the vindictive Touhoes, so unless I lucked out and got either 5 or 6 I'm utterly fucked. While a paralyzed Mokou insulting me as I clean her body sounds nice, I'll still pass.

I know one of you would end up with a morbidly obese Kaguya and we'd have to meet up.

[Anonymous No.]

S-stupid anon, why did you have to summon me to your disgusting 3D world? M-my girdle doesn't work beyond the Hakurei Border and now my belly is hanging out...

W-What's this? You say being overweight suits me as a NEET?....S-stupid anon...

[Anonymous No.]

at least with most of these options, she can't run very far or very fast, hence making rape imminant

[Anonymous No.]

Why would I want 3D pig disgusting Touhou? I could get that at a convention with the worst parts of that drawback list.

[Moron Brigade !Yf8mZVPoBs No.]

If she gets 1, she can exercise it off within a few weeks.

[Anonymous No.]

But what if the disability is permanent? You'd have to be sakuya to be able to coook her all the fried rice she needs

Punch, Kick, Block, CONSUME

[Anonymous No.]

This is retarded and whoever replies to this is equally mongoloid.