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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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16774352 No.16774352 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

Realistically, what would you do if she appeared in front of you and tried to abduct you?

>> No.16774359

Half-heartedly resist until the pain becomes too much and the struggle becomes real.

>> No.16774361

Doesn't she go to the outside world to kidnap humans as food? Yeah, that ain't happening. If I can help it. Which I probably can't.

>> No.16774363

Probably let it happen.
Only if they're legitimately suicidal. She probably would do it to non-suicidal humans just for fun though, and dump them somewhere random or some shit.

>> No.16774365

Draw a firearm from a nightstand and hesitate pulling the trigger when I realize I didn't load in a magazine.

>> No.16774388
File: 1.06 MB, 1000x719, yukari maids.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Depends on for what reason, since I have fucking meta knowledge I can probably surprise her.

>> No.16774402

Tell her if she abducts me. I will ruin the very foundation of Gensokyo

>> No.16774404

Hug the heg.

>> No.16774417
File: 192 KB, 600x600, 32943108_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Instantly start formulating how I'm going to make Ran my wife.

>> No.16774429


>> No.16774435

Calmly accept my death.

>> No.16774449

Unless it's in the middle of the night when i'm tryin to sleep. I have a conceal carry permit and so I keep a gun on me all the time even when at home.

>> No.16774459

Tell her she's an old hag and then accept death.

>> No.16774463

Attempt to strike up a conversation. Delay the inevitable for as long as possible while simultaneously gathering as much information about the situation.

Try to determine how fucked am I.

If she asks me what am I gonna do. More or less reply factually, "I dunno, probably go to Reimu or something and come back to the outside world. Catch a plane back to home."

She'd either hide her expression with her fan as she silently sends me away or plays the devil's advocate and asks what would I do if I couldn't go back.

"...I'unno. Probably try and settle down and get by day by day. Although I would like to reacquire the means of technology, but I doubt the kappa would be very forthcoming with that."

She'd realize that I was boring as hell and either defaults back to whisking me away for fodder or leaves me alone without doing so.

In which I giggle like a madman at my close brush with death.

I'll admit this was a nice hypothetical prompt to think about and imagine. You may go on and call me autistic now.

>> No.16774501 [DELETED] 


>> No.16774512

If I'm at home, attempt to grab my AR. It probably won't deter her, but at the very least, it will help me survive any youkai in Gensokyo.
If I'm outside, I'll have my phone, knife, and CC pistol. Those might not stop Yukari if she really wants me in her little fantasy land, but again, they'd be useful for survival. I also know how to reload my own rounds, so I could probably get some ammo even inside the barrier. Then I either try to get a job at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, where they could actually understand me, or learn magic.

But if H-doujins are to be believed, then I could just pull out my dick and hope to get off easy.

>> No.16774522

It's okay, Anon, we like your autism.
As for me, I'd probably scream for a bit, then give up and die. I hope I'm tasty, at least.

>> No.16774536
File: 772 KB, 723x1023, __hakurei_reimu_and_yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_amamitsu_kousuke__d8351990d322ff88678ddf33b60619ec.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Tell her you hate Lunarians and would be willing to man an observatory in Gensokyo to keep an eye on them.

That, or ask if she wants anything done in the outside world.

>> No.16774580
File: 56 KB, 1000x738, IMG_4121.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Strike a deal to start a youkai village using my superior outside world ideology and technical knowledge

>> No.16774632

this but proclaim that she is maribel

>> No.16774640

>She'd either hide her expression with her fan as she silently sends me away or plays the devil's advocate and asks what would I do if I couldn't go back

But why WOULDN'T you be able to leave if you tried? Surely Reimu would be willing to help out a fellow human?

>> No.16774663
File: 48 KB, 300x300, chen honk yukari.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

She consorts with youkai

>> No.16774669


Probably wouldn't even be that. She'd run through the process of sending you back and just as it's about to start either she pipes in with, "Oh, something happened and I can't send you back." Or she goes through with it and by sheer "coincidence" something happens on the travel back and you're either stuck back where you were dropped off or worse.

Barring that, Yukari can always persuade Reimu to not send you back for a vague reason or depending on the person's perspective of Gensokyo, money

>> No.16774673


>> No.16774676

If it were me, I'd still try to find a way to make it back home. What would be the smartest thing to do next? Would it help at all if i went to the moriya shrine? For some reason it seems like it would be a good idea, but at the same time its pretty risky.

>> No.16774684

Get taken to Gensokyo, become youkai of unwillingness.

>> No.16774693

Unsheathe my katana and teleport behind her.

>> No.16774707

>not being youkai of power and overpower everyone else

>> No.16774745

It's canon that sometimes travellers wander into Gensokyo and if not killed by youkai, they're able to leave via the shrine

>> No.16774767
File: 150 KB, 1024x576, heresy01.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.16774804

The real question is. Why would she want me to abduct?

>> No.16774874

Rub her flat chest until she's too preoccupied with guarding them to do anything to me.

>> No.16774883

Dive my head between her enormous breasts.

>> No.16774903

Sniff her butt.

>> No.16774906


Suck her c*ck, dudes.

Because clearly this isn't real thus I must have entered the porn dimension.

>> No.16774910

Well, I'm not suicidal so there must be a bigger meaning behind it. That and I can /out/ my way to safety if need be.

>> No.16774922

She'd use your own cock on you so you'd suck your own cock instead.

>> No.16774928

Snuggle the gapheg.

>> No.16774929


What if she manipulated the boarder between her cock and my cock so that we both had the same cock.

>> No.16774941
File: 585 KB, 704x1000, yukari desu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

If I had the ability to manipulate power I would just use it to cause a war between humans and youkai for funsies and probably try to power the border so it becomes large enough to cover the entire planet. Then I go back to Europe and chill as I get to build the magic equivalent of the modern world.

>> No.16775271

Try to get her to tell me why she's targeting me in particular (Since I'm not suicidal and go out of my way to avoid appearing particularly interesting), then bargain with her to either get her to drop me somewhere safe or give me a job that will more or less ensure my safety that way.

If it turns out that there's nothing to be done and I'm just fucked, well, shit. Maybe I can be something cool in my next life or something.

>> No.16775312
File: 2.44 MB, 1500x1500, 30570729.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Finally hug my wife and then accept death.

>> No.16775343

Realistically, if she wanted to abduct me, she could've done so without showing herself.
The fact that she did, however, means she need something of me.
My best course of action is, of course, to comply with her whim, lest she would get bored and drop me off somewhere undesirable.

>> No.16775359
File: 896 KB, 800x1026, The answer to all 'TOUHOU has appeared in front of you' threads.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Commence head pats.

>> No.16775370

ignore her

>> No.16775599
File: 130 KB, 600x888, Yukarin Feet.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Probably get an erection.

>> No.16775611

You cannot abduct a willing.

>> No.16775692

If the whole world went into Gensokyo, it(gensokyo) would cease to exist for the same reason magic doesn't exist on the outside already.

>> No.16775839

If you had the power to manipulate power then you could easily just spew magic everywhere, besides, it would only expand Gensokyo's reality to encompass the planet, which is still pretty much stuck in the 1800s. No one that she doesn't want would be able to enter the border unless through weak points anyway.

Sure, there wouldn't be enough humans to fill the entire planet if you made everything out of Gensokyo's reality and the natural landmass, but those that are there already believe in magic and youkai, all you have to do is properly colonize places. There are still magical creatures outside of gensokyo anywho, so magic hasn't completely left, just waned a lot so it could be bound to the specific reality you're in (makai, gensokyo, earth, etc)

>> No.16775976

Gensokyo isn't a shadow world that can go over reality, the world is either in it or not in it.

>> No.16775987

I'm pretty sure you can go to where Gensokyo supposedly is and not get inside the border.
Even if you couldn't, it's not like you couldn't manipulate it to do so with enough power behind it.

>> No.16776148

Adding onto this, the border is essentially something that makes Gensokyo a copy&paste world with no end, you go to the top of the map and you come out the bottom, etc. Natural things are not rejected by the border due to the "boundary of sense" but humans and their tools are unless they get through a weak point in the barrier, if they "punch through it" like Sumireko they eventually get thrown back, the only reason she's staying is because they took her in there eventually.
You could merely increase the area of this warped space to encompass the planet.

Also Yukari looked through the border of Gensokyo and it was filled with machines and shit so it's pretty much ontop of the place.

>> No.16778652

Why do you have a firearm in your nightstand if it's always in condition 4?

Seems pointless.

>> No.16778721


I'd consider never taking drugs again

>> No.16778732

I'd try to hug her. At least I'd die smelling the sweet scent of an extremely powerful youkai.

>> No.16778745

Go with her. I'm not living for anything now so I might as well be of some use as food for some cute youkai girls or try to build a new life in the village.

>> No.16778748

*old lady

>> No.16778776
File: 50 KB, 600x746, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

So your attempt at negotiation fail and she whisked you anyway to Gensokyo for daily fodder.

You arrived at night. Light drizzle pour down and washed the muddy earth. You take a look around, where countless red and exotic shaped flower grow all around you.

But there is a different shade of red moving at the edge of your vision. It was a dot, no, two dots of glowing light that move as quickly as you turn around your head in panic. You open your mouth to scream, to ask, or to beg for help. But before anything can happen, you felt a presence at the back of your neck and the sound of jaw being opened.

tl;dr; If you are going to be eaten by one of the youkai girls, whom do you pick? Maybe with her your death will be less painful, or excitign, or atleast suit your fetish. Alternatively, who is the worst option to run into?

>> No.16778841

>If you are going to be eaten by one of the youkai girls, whom do you pick?
Remilia. Vampires are always fun.

Alternatively, any of them that I can possibly convince that it'd be more worthwhile or interesting to keep me around (Even if it were a complete superior/subordinate relationship) than to kill me. Which is probably Remilia again, or one of the ones that has a generally positive relationship with humans. If Yukari doesn't help me, I'll at least make an effort to help myself. Regardless of how unlikely it is.

Worst would be any of them that would do it painfully and have no chance of negotiation.

>> No.16779055

Does Remilia still search for her own food? I've only remembered images of Sakuya serving her blood tea everywhere that makes me forget. Because if she relies on Sakuya for bringing her sustenance, then I think choosing Remilia might be the worst one imo, since you are going to be butchered not by a yokai, who does that by their nature, but by a fellow human being that had
"sold their soul for the devil" by serving a vampire.

Sure she can make it quick for your own good by her time powers, but it felt like a waste for me if you went so far as Gensokyo only to be killed by a human.

Best, for me is probably one of the temple youkai. You arrived in RoR and met Nazrin whos searching for treasure there. She attempts at being sneaky, and invites you for some cajolling and a secret booze party with her friends.
So there you are, at a dead of the night, with the company of weirdly dressed peoples that were shady when you asked for their background. There's going to be a small party, everyone get very wasted, before Kyouko jumps at the first opening to took a chunk of your arm. You are too dazed to take it seriously, and so do they. Then it was Shou's turn. Then Nazrin's. Then the rest of them just pile up crazed by their prohibited drink and the taste of human flesh that they had not get for so long. You wont feel a thing when it was Kokoro's turn to rips off your heart, ending everythign in a blissful ignorance of alcohol.
The mornign they realize what they've done, and tried their best to give your remnants a proper burial and wish you the best afterlife with their rites. Its a win win, especially when Byakuren sniffs what her diciples have been up to at night and punish them.

The worst ones are the rough ones. I wanna say the Onis since they probably were more concerned at getting themselves drunk than yours first

>> No.16779067


>> No.16779077

>Does Remilia still search for her own food?
Not at all, but that anon gave me the option to choose, so I chose. Whether or not it was a realistic option didn't play into it.

Though if I'm guaranteed no-way-out dead, then killed by youkai or killed by human doesn't make a difference to me.

>> No.16779113

>worst option
I'd say that would be the more child-like youkai; ya know, like Rumia. They're more likely to listen to their stomach than your words, so any attempt to talk to them is pointless.

Going back to your question, if I'm going to end up dying, then I'd rather the SDM crew have me. At least I die knowing I'd be cooked as a high-class meal by a beautiful maid, and being eaten by beautiful ladies. Classy death is better than messy one, ya know?

>> No.16779153

I'd become a dinosaur by doing a little dance. Shake your booty!

>> No.16779292

It doesn't matter. They are all the same anyway, but there's no way in hell I'd let anyone kill me, let alone eat me. No matter who I run into, even if I DO end up dying, I will never go down without a fight, no matter how hopeless it may seem.

And who knows, things just might work out in my favor.

>> No.16779387

Kogasa, she just wanted to spook me real good. She gets excited at me being thoroughly spooked, then directs me to the human village.

For some reason she follows me the whole way, maybe she thinks I can convince the villagers to give us snacks.

>> No.16779436

Do you think if I screamed to give me moment before dying to Remi, she'd let me have a moment?
Could I convince her to make me her servant, or something? I could let her use me as a blood farm, as long as I live.
Maybe Sakuya's out for a while, so she decides to get you, herself.

>> No.16779482

Hopefully Remilia. My death screams in English will hopefully catch her interest and she'll let me live as an English-speaking person in this Japanese fantasy land. Maybe I could even apply for a job.

>> No.16779486

I'd say Suika. If she appears behind me, then most likely she just wants somebody to drink with. Sure, my liver would implode and I won't survive the night, but I'd rather die completely wasted than being eaten alive.

>> No.16779498

Be thankful my prayers were answered and let my goddess take me.

>> No.16779504

If that's the case I hope there's some being smugged at involved.

>> No.16779532

You will never be Remilia's servant.
Remilia will never hold you down and drink your blood everyday.
You will drink a ton, then feed Remilia, making her drunk.
Why even live?

>> No.16779585
File: 176 KB, 934x834, 200.0% American.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

What if I have nanomachines, son?

>> No.16779762

They'd harden in response to physical trauma.
Youkai can't hurt you.

>> No.16779938

I already harden in response to physical Trauma. Does this mean I have nanomachines?

>> No.16779950

You're just a beltway pansy.

>> No.16779962

You could break the President in two with your bare hands.
Youkai wouldn't be a problem.

>> No.16779965

The president's an old man. He wouldn't be that hard to beat, disregarding his politics.

>> No.16779991

Depends on the president. Lincoln was a tough motherfucker and wrestler, for instance.

>> No.16780014

Maybe Yukari would fall for you?

>> No.16780020

Oh, well, I meant the current one. And the one before him. And before him. I mean, really, we'd have to go back a while to get to a tough president.
Politicians don't really need to be strong, though.

>> No.16780026

Nevertheless, possessing enough strength to sever a human body with only your hands is quite impressive. It's still nothing compared to oni, but it would land you firmly in the low-mid tier of the Touhou power scale.

>> No.16780035

Probably. But I doubt Youkai "wouldn't be a problem."

>> No.16780036
File: 2.11 MB, 3500x3121, youmu raiden.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

you can punch explosions, outstrength cyborgs who throw battleship-sized mechs over their head and catch blades that move faster then sound with nanomachines though

>> No.16780611

Punch her in the face.
A once-in-a-lifetime experience.

>> No.16780956


Realistically there is nothing you can do to stop her.

>> No.16780993

Ask for a hug before death, but I doubt she'd go for that.

>> No.16781069

Realistically, youkai don't exist.

>> No.16781222

hello batora

>> No.16781436
File: 338 KB, 2046x1447, Yuyuko (1214).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Ask her to introduce me to her friend

>> No.16781592


Hug her.

>> No.16781666

Ask her to take me to the "American Gensokyo". It would probably be based around Native American stuff which is pretty neat. I wouldn't mind going around solving incidents with a brown loli shaman girl.

>> No.16781767

Is it really true that she is irish? How do you know?

>> No.16781826


Also hope she will make it painless.

>> No.16784321

I'd rather go to a British Gensokyo, since I'm primarily British, ancestry-wise, and I'm certain no USA Gensokyo exists.

>> No.16784381

Whip out my rock hard cock and start masturbating.

>> No.16784412
File: 101 KB, 529x890, IMG_4112.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Would it be OOC for Yukari to say "Fuck me and call me Maribel!"?

>> No.16784482
File: 543 KB, 1710x2280, yukarinyuyu shota.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I arrived at my friend's house before he did (assumed) and he texted me saying I could let myself in, so I went in the basement and he jumped from behind a corner, yelling and grabbing me to scare me. I screamed, punched him and immediately broke down crying.
Probably something like that If I was startled.

>> No.16784501

are you a little girl
who the fuck starts crying because they got surprised

>> No.16784511

will u b my gf

>> No.16784680
File: 495 KB, 1300x1680, yukari and laptop.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Everyone on /jp/ is a little girl.
Let'shold hands!

>> No.16784702

Friends? What bullshit is this?

>> No.16790035
File: 541 KB, 500x312, treins.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Get trained in the art of youkaism

>> No.16790583

Wrong thread? I don't see OP saying anything about Yukari being Irish, although Lafcadio Hearn was half-Irish and grew up in Ireland so Maribel/Yukari possibly could be as well.

>> No.16799351

re you Irish?

>> No.16799546

Take me to your magical realm! I wish to garden with the ghosts!

>> No.16799556

Call the moon niggers to come save me and when they get done saving me I will go back to making fun of moonfags online while posting pictures of them getting shot by nasa.

>> No.16799612

[X] Genuflect

>> No.16801429

Ask why she wants to abduct me.
I will only go if I know for a fact that I won't be killed and/or eaten at all.

Otherwise, I'll just tell her to fuck off.
If she gaps me in anyway, I'll do whatever it takes to fight my way out of Gensokyo. I might end up dying in the process, but if I don't, then I will have made it back home.

>> No.16801439


>> No.16801441

Aaaaaa! Please don't eat me!

>> No.16801592
File: 4 KB, 125x125, 1463521881961s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]



Normally I laugh at these... but goddamn

>> No.16806880

Expect the worse and hope for the best.

>> No.16806960
File: 637 KB, 1200x848, IMG_4116.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You awake and find yourself in this situation.
What do?

>> No.16806994

Assume I'm dreaming and greet her as if absolutely nothing is wrong or strange

>> No.16807469

Check to see if I'm Yuyuko now.

>> No.16807588

I think you mean Reimu.

>> No.16808187


>> No.16808224

Cry because my anus was destroyed by her huge futa dong

>> No.16808237
File: 105 KB, 624x528, bed55g.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I think i would die because of an heart attack.

>> No.16808349


>> No.16808807
File: 783 KB, 838x1000, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_hammer_sunset_beach__5bf3168a81451606b50e5d94180db9a6.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

[X] Head pat BBA

>> No.16808827


>> No.16808891

Looks like my suicide wasn't fucked up or ruined by anyone, and I finally made it to Gensokyo.

>> No.16808916

I'd be afraid since in the written works it's speculated she abducts losers from the real world to fuel the youkai supply of food.

>> No.16808941

Do you not want to feed Flan? Do you want Flan to starve?

>> No.16808951

I fine with entire universes starving to death if it's because they didn't get to eat me. No one is entitled to my corpse.

>> No.16808954

And you're entitled to killing Flan? You murderer!
I will have my personal squad of /jp/sies on your tail immediately, if you don't apologize!
2 and a half!

>> No.16808965

I can think of a few things that I might do.

But I know one thing for certain. Immediately upon waking, the following would start playing in the back of my mind:


>> No.16809017

I mean, you were planing to kill me anyway, I don't see the difference except that I'd likely have a much easier time fending off /jp/sies than Flan, no offense.

>> No.16809026

Oh, we won't kill you, we'll cook you up and offer you to our lord and savior, Flan!

>> No.16809208
File: 381 KB, 800x600, tfw isekaid into my own future.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

elaborate pls

>> No.16809239

Ask for paizuri.

>> No.16811161

Ask to suck her dick.

>> No.16811203
File: 328 KB, 1200x1174, yukarireimu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16811494

translate it weebs

>> No.16811552

Leap in righteous fury and scream DEUS VULT at the top of my lungs till only one is left standing.

>> No.16811605

Not if I eat you first. You did violate the NAP after all.

>> No.16817928

You did first.

>> No.16818002

Why would she even bother tho

>> No.16825218

Ask her if she finally fixed my boundary of joy and missery.

>> No.16826817

I'd be moved to tears by the implication that the supernatural and afterlife exist.
Doesn't matter what happens to me then, it'll be better than the unending void of not existing.

>> No.16826855

If that lets you sleep at night then keep telling yourself that.

>> No.16827003
File: 106 KB, 774x896, 24292d7fee8b32698d2cf0edb5771187.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm sorry for the things that happened in your life to make you feel that way. I know how I must sound like, but I hope that you are able to find that there is meaning in your life. Whether it is acknowledging an afterlife exists or something else, I wish you're able to find it. Because, I think you are very important.

>> No.16827014

Well, thank you random internet person.
While I think you read a bit too far into my words (since who doesn't wish there was something more than nonexistence?), I will agree that life has sucked.
Three decades and the pain and isolation only seem to keep piling on.

>> No.16827050
File: 164 KB, 499x499, 1459730682270.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Personally, I would suspect that I am full schizo/dreaming until I get some evidence from her.

I don't mind if that is taken as a cue to mess me up or whatever, I would rather that happen than accidently pledge undying allegiance to a gas leak or mirage.

I feel you two.

>> No.16829769

I keep forgetting that isekai has been a thing on /jp/ far longer than it has been on /a/.

>> No.16836135

We just want to go to Heaven, man.

>> No.16836243


Beg her to take me to see Yuuka so I could at least see the love of my life before I died.


Get angry because of the above.

>> No.16836247
File: 321 KB, 800x808, --chen-yakumo-ran-and-yakumo-yukari-touhou-drawn-by-starshadowmagician--655418276f7869821a5058392b7a5d14.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

"Why is there a cute 17 year old in my house?"

>> No.16836305
File: 753 KB, 838x1000, Yakumo.Yukari.full.1467024.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

She'll have you know that flattery will get you everywhere with her!

>> No.16836350

Thank you YIDF.

>> No.16839832

Call Renko to tell her friend to stop harassing me.

>> No.16845252

You're welcome.

>> No.16847810

Realistically, what COULD you do?

>> No.16850649

Would playing this make Yukari happy?

>> No.16851081

Ignore, disbelieve, keep playing games.
It's shaped by belief, it's in a hostile environment and is right next to a "you don't even register and thus you might as well not exist" generator.
Is like a trip to Chernobyl's Elephant Foot while wearing a t-shirt and denim

>> No.16851216

If you saw her approach you, then you would disbelief, you'd just be scared shitless and proceed to be eaten like the lil bitch you are.

>> No.16851351

Is there a doujinshi of this? It doesn't need to be ero.

>> No.16854883
File: 953 KB, 500x282, IMG_3374.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Come and get me, bitch.

>> No.16855487

I saw worse things during a LSD trip. I'll just write it off as "oh, great, the residual brain damage is acting up again"

>> No.16861484

Honestly, honestly, I'd tell her to shut the fuck up and then kiss her and maybe sex.

>> No.16861520

Let her.

I assume I won't die because she only gaps people secretly for the most part, not out in the open, and if she gaps you in secret it's because you're suicidal or a criminal and I am neither.

So, I assume I'll get a very wild Gensokyo adventure out of this.

>> No.16861528

[x] Genuflect

>> No.16863797

try to bash my head agaisnt my desk.
my worst fear is to be eaten.

>> No.16863930

Nameless One, please go, that "you don't exist" speech works only in Sigil

>> No.16864287

Shout Allahu Akbar and blow myself up.

>> No.16864345

... why are you asking?
testing the waters to see how we'd react, are you?
if you're so curious as to what i'd do if a very cute 17 year old girl gapped infront of me then maybe you should just do it

>> No.16867556

Wonder why she's in my house and then execute project "Eat all the eggs" to win her heart

>> No.16869276

Literal /v/ meme. But I approve

>> No.16872108
File: 355 KB, 480x359, yukari reimu dance.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Ask her to get in the car.

>> No.16878324

Yukari: Who would've thought that a rift in the boundary would occur inside a lantern... You should've told me earlier about something like that, Reimu.

Reimu: Y-You're at fault for not noticing it either, Yukari!

Yukari: W-Well.. Let's put that aside for now... You're not stealing the stuff coming from the outside world through that rift, are you?

Reimu: O-Of course, I wouldn't do anyway like that!

Yukari: Really? Good then...

(Yukari thinking): I thought the loads of erotic goods I stocked up from the outside world leaked out of the lantern too... But if Reimu finds out about them, she would definitely scold me about it. Better keep it a secret...

(Reimu thinking): It's a pity that the rift is going to be mended... But the things I looted are still things, and I'd be embarrassed to death if she finds out... Better keep it a secret...

>> No.16878392

Probably smack her and if she kept trying.... Well.... I conceal carry so I may be pushed enough to shoot her and she would then die because she is real.

Last resort I mean. I'm sure I would try and beat the shit out of her first. But if she went after my firearm...

Goodbye weird ass looking girl.

>> No.16878426

Princess-carry her and spin!

>> No.16878528

Thanks translationfag.

>> No.16878562

Offer to create a worship cult of /jp/sies so that she can roam about the outside world freely.

>> No.16878713

Shooting, cutting, stabbing, and punching her does nothing. You would be fucked no matter how you twisted it.

>> No.16878764 [DELETED] 

>you shoot at her
>she opens a border and the bullets disappear inside
>she opens another behind you
Congrats, you just suicided by a double tap to the back of the head, execution style. Even the Clintons would be jealous of such a perfect """suicide"""

>> No.16878871

Not gunposter, but throw Berserk manga. If she portals it will probably be to Gensokyo, where some human might get inspired. If not book to the head.

>> No.16879777 [DELETED] 

You're welcome ze~

>> No.16879780

I want to go to Makai, Yukari.

>> No.16879784

You're welcome ze~

>> No.16881034

Thanks weeb

>> No.16881145

>Average human
>average human strength

>Gap youkai
>Can basically warp reality
>Beyond Galaxy level, maybe up to fucking universe level

You don't stand a chance.

>> No.16881249

Who quote?

>> No.16881423

Not them, but please don't pull this silly meme now.

>> No.16881493
File: 256 KB, 1412x1000, 1335312004744.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Cum on her massive tits

>> No.16881914
File: 863 KB, 829x811, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Assuming I'm not immediately killed I'd go find Sanae, Keine and Miko and get this race war started already.

>> No.16882004
File: 920 KB, 900x1790, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_nian__9b87e1303d35ec280b70b233650876cd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Ask her for a handjob with those insanely silky gloves of hers.

>> No.16882024
File: 30 KB, 322x243, martyrs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Act like I'm the one who kidnapped her.

Welcome, time-spanned soul!

>> No.16882033

Ask her if she's Maribel.

I want Maribel!

>> No.16882064

Don't forget about Fujiwara and Marisa.

>> No.16882323

She would love it.

Very beautiful pic!

>> No.16882517
File: 3.27 MB, 1378x2000, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_suteru_stiel__f2ab783c14cc7fe96b8255011920ed31.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You think so?

Yeah, that's one of my favorite pics. There's another really nice one where she's wearing a purple kimono along with her gloves, but I can never find it when I want to post it and I always forget to save it.

>> No.16882664

The only things I want in life is to cum in Yukari's tits and have her handle me with her silky gloves

>> No.16882730

Me too, Anon, me too.

>> No.16885189
File: 2.92 MB, 1364x1467, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_sa_haru__6505cf2ea86fbbc64e9780b97e030f97.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>16882517 here
Found it!

>> No.16885199
File: 2.92 MB, 1364x1467, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_sa_haru__6505cf2ea86fbbc64e9780b97e030f97.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>16882517 here
Found it! I like how the artist used a grain filter on the gloves and kimono. Makes them look like silk or satin.

>> No.16892093
File: 2.72 MB, 1280x1280, __saigyouji_yuyuko_and_yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_minust__58dd248ae2306e6be8c8d17164481f33.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Happy gappy!

>> No.16892282


>> No.16897139

You can't hide from me.

>> No.16897151

I have a knife on my window sill beside my PC.

>> No.16898266
File: 45 KB, 512x512, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_hammer_sunset_beach__dd0891afcb882718e25279ab68ffd5b9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Please don't bully me...

>> No.16907665

If I promise to stop bullying you, will you let me hug you, instead?

>> No.16907981

Ask her to repeat her Boundary Between Gay and Straight with her huge futa dick and balls from last night.

>> No.16909045
File: 144 KB, 533x800, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_hammer_sunset_beach__54fee15325ce8f189f05a408cd2ac22b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Oh? O-okay, then...

>> No.16910050

Realistically, there really isn't anything you can do. She'll succeed in abducting you one way or another. however that being said, it's the struggle that makes things like that enjoyable. Plus, Yukari is my favorite 2hu so since it's her I wouldn't mind.

>> No.16910933

I don't want to die or get eaten, but what can I do?
"Ma'am please leave me alone, thank you."

>> No.16910993

Ask her to hurt me.

>> No.16914273

Show her the video of Rick Astley's song.

>> No.16914381

Which one? He had multiple.

>> No.16914406

Probably this one.

Old meme, I know.

>> No.16914430

start peeing on her until she leaves

>> No.16914431


>> No.16914444

Wasted. Should've done the full MV.

>> No.16914743

Same really

>> No.16915817

Use Cross Sign "Power of Christ"

>> No.16923437

She's not Satan!

>> No.16923465
File: 33 KB, 417x515, 1485793690228.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16925084

Yes she is.

>> No.16925275

I mean, realistically, is there anything that I could to stop her? The smart thing to do is just to let it happen and ask her not to eat me.

>> No.16925295

Try to engage her in intellectual discussion.
What topics do you bring up to make her interested in you?

>> No.16925297

But she is sort of a demon...

>> No.16925314

My interest in older women.

>> No.16925336

Please eat me Yukarin!

>> No.16925371

I think most people would have better luck convincing her she'd be better off keeping them alive as a minion/pet/plaything than they would by trying to stimulate her curiosity. I see that attempt not changing anything except maybe giving her something to investigate days down the road when she gets bored.

>> No.16925448

If I offered to work as a butler/groundskeeper, or something, for her, as long as she could guarantee that I wouldn't die or be seriously hurt, do you think she'd agree?

>> No.16927877

Give Grandma a awkward hug, stare at the ground for a few seconds and then say something like "I'm f-fine. How are you?". Then I would probably pace around nervously and attempt to explain why I don't have a job. After that, I might do some menial chores for her and then feel really guilty when she overpays.

>> No.16927912
File: 402 KB, 800x600, Touhou.full.1580543.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I show her my collection of old computers such as the SWTPC 6800 and Altair 8800 and discuss early computing technology with her. I happen to like ``matured computers'' (wink wink), so maybe she can go into detail about Ran with me.

After that, I segue into discussion of the mathematical work of Konrad Zuse, the creator of the world's first programmable computer, and inquire about her knowledge of his essay ``Calculating Space'' and how it could possibly relate to her powers and Gensokyo as a whole.

Maybe she will fill me in before raping/eating me

>> No.16927919

Ask he if she's ever experienced human dick before. When she says no, offer her, because what's the harm in trying it if she's going to kill me anyway? Might as well rape me too. Then, make her orgasm 10 times with my superior human penis, and have her forget all about killing me!

>> No.16927941

I bought a pair of Commodore 64 computers with money from Grandma. They both died and I completely took them apart and sold the pieces on eBay. Am I in trouble?

>> No.16927960

Whip out my dick.

2hus are weak to fat, swarthy men with thick cocks.

>> No.16928125
File: 88 KB, 617x576, 1492926247504.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16928184
File: 25 KB, 120x234, ran_delinquent.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>cook the Yakumos an amazing meal
>they let me stay as a servant
>study Yukari's gap-making powers
>exploit the mechanics behind it and construct a weapon that could allow me to manipulate space
>help Yukari-sama take over Gensokyou
>marry Ran

>> No.16928395

implying yukari doesn't already rule gensokyo

>> No.16928672
File: 2.88 MB, 1600x1900, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

New objective will then to kidnap Reimu and make her into a rape pet for Yukari

>> No.16928687
File: 1.35 MB, 533x800, yukarin expressions.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Look at what she did to Kozusu!
Regular slapstick genius!

>> No.16929074

Sound like you love to have fun, which is pretty cool.

I'd like to ask you if you have read SICP. If not, just type that in Google and click on the first result. You're gonna have a lot of fun with it.

>> No.16930634
File: 289 KB, 1042x466, gaysex2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Explain quantum gravity to her and how her gaps can be described with wormholes and that she must gain weight every time she uses her power since she has to expunge exotic particles with negative mass off of her body in order to keep the gaps open but conservation of mass means that she must be gaining mass by doing so.

>> No.16930689

Hole in your theory friend, thanks to our old friend Einstein. If the extraneous mass is converted to manipulable energy, it would just make Yukari hella powerful. And Yukari is indeed hella powerful.

>> No.16936070

What a fool you are. I'm a god, how can you abduct a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. No recall or intervention can work in this place. Come, lay down your gaps, it is not too late for my mercy.

>> No.16936505

That's what she wants you to think.

>> No.16936746

Show down between Yukari and Kanako? I'd watch that.

I'm cheering for Yukari of course.

>> No.16942139

Post the yucurry yukmo one.

>> No.16942242
File: 34 KB, 878x667, 1460336394433.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

This one?

>> No.16942251
File: 106 KB, 382x526, chen.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16942368

Yes! Thanks!

>> No.16942491

Why isn't her name Chen Yakumo?

I don't like just "Chen"

>> No.16942506
File: 193 KB, 571x873, ran_&_yukari.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

One earns the last name Yakumo, you don't just inherit it.

>> No.16949002
File: 35 KB, 480x474, IMG_3519.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16949332
File: 82 KB, 400x220, 1493576279241.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

But if this happened, how would you explain Zun to her?

>> No.16949375

Zun's works are based on stories told to him by Yukari, with creative liberties taken to support the gameplay.

>> No.16950137
File: 1.79 MB, 1340x1610, __flandre_scarlet_touhou_drawn_by_kiyoiziru__5aef1a5bfefe4f9660ef54b972d68cab.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Ask her to send me Flandre's room so she can eat me fresh and I get to squeeze her butt while she drains the life out of me

>> No.16950278
File: 55 KB, 200x276, yukari_spook.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

What do I do if Yukari comes into my room every night and reads scary stories until I can't sleep?

>> No.16952233

Wow anon
just Wow.

>> No.16958624

ask her to spare me, and shikigami me like ran or chen. Or turn me into a yokai

>> No.16958633

ask her to let me become like youmu

>> No.16958637

be happy and make babies.

>> No.16958651

What the h*ck? Are you some kind of paedophile?

>> No.16958673

tell her i wanna be her plaything and another kitsune like ran, and i could be happy in gensokyo if i could have fluffy kitsune tails of my own and would do whatever she wanted.

>> No.16958746

Fuck her sideways. A five hour marathon and then share some snacks.

>> No.16958773

I'd wonder how I managed to get into her bed. Then be a little upset since I like Reimu more.

>> No.16958955
File: 277 KB, 921x557, yukari_toilet.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16958969


>> No.16964916

Why is she in the toilet?

>> No.16965009
File: 197 KB, 748x735, yukari_thrust.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Why not?

>> No.16965048


Tell her to eat my semen instead.

>> No.16965113

Convince her to let me be her semen slave instead of eating me

>> No.16965120

have her gap me and make me into alice

>> No.16967843

>What a fool you are to try and confront the apprentice of wizard order of Nine Thousand and One Automaton. You are just a helpless semen demon in front of my arcane art! Pay the price for your hubris! Be gone, you female!
Then I unleash a wave of concentrated depression and misogyny, effectively obliterating her yay. Then we just kind of sit there, sulking. Then she awkwardly leaves, and I feel sad for sperging like an autist and making a pretty girl sad. Maybe she wanted to stretch a friendship hand? Then I read a doujin about friendiship between my favorite 2hus and feel like shit.

>> No.16968356
File: 398 KB, 1400x1200, yukari gap.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Use my leet agility to teleport behind her and make her go kyaa!

>> No.16968365

I'm not sure, Anon. That sounds like something personnel.

>> No.16974663


>> No.16974667
File: 86 KB, 414x300, IMG_3485.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16974774
File: 81 KB, 489x600, __hakurei_reimu_and_yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_danna_karatekikku__425dc25f8fea271d21d178b21f743531.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16974849

turn me into nukebirb :3

>> No.16975145

What if she took you and made you her manservant, to pretend to be Chen's shikigami?

What animal-spirit-thing do you think she'd turn you into?

>> No.16975277
File: 68 KB, 289x398, chen_face.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

A fish, since foxes eat cats and cats eat fish

>> No.16976201

A dog, so she can look down on you.

>> No.16976240

Wouldn't a mouse be better?

>> No.16977094

I'd hope it would be Reimu instead of a man-eating youkai.

>> No.16977548

Chen loves fish tho

>> No.16981391
File: 143 KB, 800x1066, 589a642f48cfe24bc52940ddf4adffb6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16983861
File: 337 KB, 720x400, Angry_yukari.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The fuck is this?

>> No.16983995
File: 140 KB, 800x1067, U yukareimu-s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16984056
File: 192 KB, 1032x774, me irl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>That's a violation of my NAP, m'lady.
>*teleport behind her*

>> No.16984062

Why is this a thing?!

>> No.16984077

Real question is where is that Youkari from, I feel like i've seen it before.

>> No.16984175
File: 2.48 MB, 1600x1900, __chen_hakurei_reimu_kirisame_marisa_yakumo_ran_and_yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_profitshame__ee270a1bee3b319b095f11cc0f41dd58.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm disgusted, but also curious.

>> No.16984226
File: 437 KB, 700x3553, 1442600300864.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

nobody knows

>> No.16984956
File: 90 KB, 930x639, IMG_3371.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16986336 [SPOILER] 
File: 27 KB, 215x194, 1494215220756.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16987121

greet my wife and ask her about her day.

>> No.16987195 [DELETED] 

vore$ -scat$ -guro$ should do for starting people, try looking it at ehentai

>> No.16987210
File: 165 KB, 857x933, yuyuko_vore_by_karbo-d4dc8j5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

vore$ -scat$ -guro$ should do for starting people, try looking it at ehentai

>> No.16987229

Never. You won't make me fall that low.
Lolicon doujinshi, comfort me!

>> No.16987242

I don't remember making this post.

>> No.16987247
File: 241 KB, 694x1150, giantess_meiling_caught_a_thief_by_karbo-d8fsb1k.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16989371
File: 281 KB, 480x320, yukari_male.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Now I'm just disgusted.

>> No.16992250

Scream in futile terror.

>> No.16992349
File: 57 KB, 600x467, IMG_3275.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

What is this shit? This ain't Attack on titan.

>> No.16993100
File: 700 KB, 1154x1665, 87bbddd732942d8d960103364e6e7e06.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16993282

Did I do that?

>> No.16993284
File: 453 KB, 750x4177, 30d4eecf684ea5790945de13bf9ad282.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.16993296

Fuck gensokyo Fortune teller was right.

>> No.16993312

god i wish that were me

>> No.16993325
File: 79 KB, 640x853, CdWi3NgUkAAm3BO_orig.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

and this

>> No.17001425
File: 49 KB, 300x300, IMG_0993.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>mfw the gap hag appears

>> No.17001683

Try to get that axe handle I"m keeping behind bed and smack her back to hell.

>> No.17002879
File: 249 KB, 800x592, __yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_satou_yuuki__21083c76c078c99a7c3b34330ac672a8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.17003700
File: 975 KB, 1280x1280, yakumo_yukari_by_paralianqueen-d6hkbde.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

If she into hardcore tickling then leap into her breasts and pledge my undying loyalty.

>> No.17004129
File: 407 KB, 1000x600, Yukarin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Oh my, you like feet? What an interesting human.

>> No.17004148
File: 386 KB, 800x1119, __hakurei_reimu_and_yakumo_yukari_touhou_drawn_by_puuakachan__3cb69e44a3901f35add5e8a3303d8ef0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

This! As long as I'm getting tickled by both Yukarin and Ran and there's lots of verbal teasing!

>> No.17004151

Liking feet certainly doesn't make you interesting.

>> No.17004180

Feet? Not particularly. Femdom involving feet? Very much so.

>> No.17005170
File: 2.37 MB, 4000x2000, 47c938a1a825ce650e2914f5dc356d0af76d659bf019d83ad7a3a862ac771760.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Speaking of Yukari and tickling...

>> No.17005665


>> No.17009039

Too bad kappas are too fickle to work with. Striking a deal with them and mass producing ARs would've been nice.

>> No.17012819
File: 107 KB, 400x593, 1493657906288.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You really think a piece of wood will stop a gapheg?

>> No.17013930
File: 10 KB, 250x246, 1494146715542s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.17014279

Yukari's thread is dying!

>> No.17014714

A gap is a hole
A hole can be closed by bridging it with a piece of wood (like a plank)
A axe handle is a piece of wood
Then the axe handle can be used to bridge/close the gap.

Think like you were in Sigil, belief is power, belief is reality itself.

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