We don't deserve salvation. you're in this state for a reason, you know.
So, revel in your damnation, and dance deeper and deeper in the black abyss that is your aberrating soul.
One day, at the bottom, you'll find your dark garden of eden, where sin gives fruit on dead branches, and solace will finally caress your cheeks, whispering one single soothing word in your deaf skull, the only single word you wanted to hear.
"I love you"
And finally you'll sink in her cold embrace, that accepts all the monsters and demons like beloved siblings. oblivion will cover yourself like a blanket, and all will be alright in the world.