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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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1637580 No.1637580 [Reply] [Original]

Today I told my mother I "wasn't interested in 3-D girls" /jp/.

It slipped. I was half-asleep, she was nagging me, etc.

Big mistake. Big. Fucking. Mistake. Now she won't even look at me the same.

ITT /jp/-relevant failures.

>> No.1637586

HA HA OH WOW

>> No.1637588

Who talks to their mother? Get the fuck out, normalfag.

>> No.1637592
File: 18 KB, 704x400, 1227149212459.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1637592

The basement... I WILL MAKE IT MINE!

>> No.1637594

Congratulations, you are completely fucked

>> No.1637598

The sad thing is that she now thinks you like 3-D boys.

>> No.1637605

While a friend was asking me for a couple of weaks to give them some Touhou games (slow internet on their part) I agreed but said they weren't that good

"however a lot of the stuff surrounding the games is pretty cool"

"like what"

I had to go back on my word since I wasn't about to mention folders of Alice images.

>> No.1637610
File: 259 KB, 1229x1236, 1227149337682.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1637610

Because everyone already knows what an utter failure at life Anonymous of /jp/ is, this thread serves no real purpose.

Therefore, this thread is now about loving Yayoi tenderly.

>> No.1637621

>>1637605
You should have. Then, you guys could have read together, become lovers, and eventually even post on /jp/ together. He could call himself "Gay Lover of ponpo", and he's be a /jp/ superstar. Just like you.

>> No.1637622

Did you specify "3D"? What exact phrasing did you use, if you can remember?

And how was she nagging you, exactly? Requesting chatlog in full.

>> No.1637612

>>1637588

Actually a lot of /jp/edophiles talk to their mothers. It's just that we're usually asking for money, sympathy or a place to stay.

Or so I've seen, anyway.

>> No.1637613

Did your mom try to hook you up or something?

>> No.1637616

>>1637598
hahaha

truth.

>> No.1637629

What exactly did you say? Maybe not everything is lost.

>> No.1637630

>>1637622
>chatlog
>my mother

Can anyone here's mother use a computer well enough to have an online chat? I know mine can't.

>> No.1637642

>>1637622

No "chatlog" exactly. This was a real conversation. I can try to replicate it, though. Something like....

"You're a handsome young man (LOL WUT), why don't you have a girlfriend yet?"

"I'm not really looking, Mom."

"Why? Too picky?"

"I'm busy... studying and all that. I'm just too worn out."

"Oh, come on, you should get a girlfriend. It'll put a spring in your step again. Then you can leave your room for a change."

"Not interested."

>> No.1637657

>>1637642
She thinks you're gay.

>> No.1637658

>>1637642

You're fucked.

/thread

>> No.1637654

>>1637630

Mine can. But then again, she's got the mind of a 17-year-old and suffering from a mid-life crisis. She's really popular with just about everyone, which pisses me off.

She's chatting a lot, since she's also unemployed.

>> No.1637665

>>1637654
Holy shit, you two could start dating and it wouldn't be weird at all!

>> No.1637663

I'm actually very relieved that my parents once caught me fapping to perfectly normal softcore 3d porn (Killcreek's Playboy shoot) when I was about 15.

>> No.1637669

>>1637642
Hahahaha. Fuck remains of my mother. I hadn't have a gf since I was 13 and my mother bother me about the same stuff.

>> No.1637682

>>1637642
next time you see her tell her you meant bra size and that you were tired and confused so what you really meant to say was that you like chicks with smaller/petite chicks.

>> No.1637694

>>1637654
Your Mom's a fucking whore.

>> No.1637699

Man, if I did that I'd probably be heavily considering becoming an hero.

I wouldn't actually do it, but holy shit would I be thinking about it.

>> No.1637701

Get a girlfriend (a paid one if you can't get one for yourself).

Problem solved.

>> No.1637707

My mother occasionally bothers me about things, but nothing as trivial as a girlfriend. With me it's more like, 'would you like to go for a drive? See how the town has changed?', to which I promptly decline and return to my room.

>> No.1637708

>>1637699
>an hero.

Maybe you should consider this now.

>> No.1637713

My parents already know I'm interested in 3d girls, I have 2 figs on my desk already

>> No.1637716

>>1637630
Memorised chatlog is fine too. Was just looking for a full... transcript?
>>1637642
Ah, wonderful, thank you. First of all, were you completely serious? You have zero interest in 3D girls? For the indefinite future, or just not now?

>"Oh, come on, you should get a girlfriend. It'll put a spring in your step again. Then you can leave your room for a change."
Oh ho, causality confusion detected. Motivation and purposeful activity in the outside world is a precondition, not a result, a (worthwhile) relationship. You all already know this... we know this very well...

>> No.1637722

I just bring up how I still feel shitty about how things went with my ex.

>> No.1637723

>>1637713
>I have 2 figs
You know, figs are in 3D.

>> No.1637724

>>1637682
I see you imswrote tits with chicks there on the end. nice perspective anon. classic

>> No.1637730

>>1637642
Psh, you're fine. My mother suspects (correctly) that I'm a pedophile.

>> No.1637739

>>1637682

Yea, that's much better..

Just tell her you were joking.

>> No.1637740

>>1637723
If you close one eye you only see two dimensions. ;_;

>> No.1637754

Hahaha, you fucking retard.

That's why you have a backup folder of 3D, or a porno mag lying around, or some shit.
Enjoy your ruined family relationship, for the rest of your life.

>> No.1637753

>>1637682
this
that and rebllious youngster says strange things to spite parents. not at all unusual

>> No.1637761

>>1637723
That's what I mean, I AM interested in 3d girls BECAUSE I have figs. Figs are 3d, therefore I'm interested in 3d.

>> No.1637766

>>1637761
I can relate to that.
real girls don't let you hot glue them.

>> No.1637768

>>1637669
>Fuck remains of my mother.
ヽ(´ー｀)ﾉ

I'm thankful that my mother has only (so far) mentioned things along these lines in passing, a one-liner to laugh off, no attempt to interrogate to or convince me to commit to take action... that'd be awkward lol. I got a real job to be looking for, and I get plenty o' rants from that angle. Yaaay.

>> No.1637784

op could always pull a fast one and start acting hyper-normal:
IE op is SUDDENLY mega outgoing in your face social, etc until your parents are like wtf? I miss the old you.

>> No.1637788

>>1637730
How did you let this cat out of the bag?
And how does she indicate that she knows?
I'd like to know, if you would tell.

>> No.1637799

>>1637784
Until it backfires and they say "I'm so happy that you've become a normal man."

>> No.1637808

>>1637784
I'd like to see the consequences of such an attempt. Possibly in the from of a blog, a video blog, or a non-fiction web comic.

>> No.1637811

>>1637580

What the fuck? I think you're full of shit. No mother would react that way for such an insignificant comment, unless of course they're nutjob fundamentalist prudes.
I moved out of the house and took up residence on the other side of the continent quite a while ago, but I imagine if I had said something like that to my mom she would have cracked up and told me to enjoy fapping for the rest of my life. My family and friends know full-well what I'm into and they're all cool with it. Hell even my friends that don't know the first thing about anime, manga, or games are cool with it.
Live your own life and stop worrying about what other people think. Be successful.

>> No.1637812

>>1637788
Well, she used to suggest girls that I could date. And I'd tell her "sorry, I prefer small breasts. I'll find someone that fits my tastes." She gave me an odd look but didn't say anything. I asked her some time later why she didn't ever offer suggestions anymore and she said "Well, it doesn't sound like you'll ever find a woman (and she put emphasis on woman) that you'll date" and gave me a look. I didn't know what to say, so I said "I see" and walked away.

>> No.1637819

>>1637799
God damn it, fuck the "normal" man.

I'm a recluse that spends all his time fapping to hentai and playing weeaboo games and visual novels.
And I'm fine with that.

>> No.1637820

>>1637612

HA....speak for yourself. I make enough money to write my mom thousand dollar checks every now and then. It's sort of payment for putting up with my sorry ass all those years.

>> No.1637830

>>1637812
Sounds just as likely she thinks you love the cock.

>> No.1637838

>>1637811

>nutjob fundamentalist prudes

Are you so naive as to discount the possibility someone has a mother like that, really? It's obviously the case

>> No.1637840

>>1637830
There's no way to represent the way she said it in words, but I'm sure she knows. Doesn't help that half the time she sees /jp/ on my monitor there's a little girl doing something suspect.

>> No.1637850

My mother has already accused me of being gay and a pedophile (guess which one is correct!).

She's set up at least one date for me (which I never went to), and used to constantly say things like "so and so's daughter is smart, nice etc." however now whenever someone brings up the fact that I'm single she gives the reply that "He's too good for most girls".

>> No.1637855

/jp/ - LiveJournal

>> No.1637857

>>1637850
Wait, before I answer: Is liking traps gay?

>> No.1637859
File: 267 KB, 800x600, 1227151711118.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1637859

Today I told my mother I "wasn't interested in 4-D girls" /jp/.

It slipped. I was half-asleep, she was nagging me, etc.

Big mistake. Big. Fucking. Mistake. Now she won't even look at me the same.

ITT /jp/-relevant failures.

>> No.1637860

>>1637840

How can you take it easy with your mother being in viewing range of your computer?

I close my goddamn door and have only had it really intruded upon once, my mom thought I was sleeping but I was fapping to hentai. Luckily I hadn't switched over to the next tab with futa in it.

>> No.1637864

>>1637855

My thoughts exactly.

But Anon was clever and disguised this as a simple discussion topic, initially.

Good. Good.

>> No.1637869

>>1637840
>that half the time she sees /jp/ on my monitor

wut
I don't believe you should be letting her see that.

Anyway, depending on the type of mom they can be obsessive about this kind of shit.
A prime example of a psycho mom that comes to mind would probably be a christian mom, dear god.

What would be worse to someone like that?
Pedophilia or homosexuality?
Wait, screw it. Go for broke.

Show her some shota.

>> No.1637880

My dad occasionally speaks about me getting married and having kids as if it's an inevitability, as opposed to an impossibility.

He's also tried to introduce me to waitresses when we eat out and asked a co-worker about whether or not I'd ever hit on her.

God damn you anon making me think about this shit now I'm all pissed off THIS IS NOT A FUCKING BLOG

SAGE

>> No.1637882

>>1637788
Not the same anon, but my mother got clued in to the fact when I tried to offer oral sex to a relative. Thankfully it was a side of the family I didn't see often anyway and nobody cared about. My father even told me "I don't agree with the way you did it, but I am glad that we don't have to talk to them anymore." The girl was nice though and I would have liked to eat her out.

>> No.1637893

>>1637860
>>1637869
I'm the deaf-anon with no hearing aids. Not fully deaf, but when I'm listening to music in the dark, I have no way of knowing when someone enters my room.

>> No.1637897

>>1637869

Well, christfags believe homofags are pedos anyway.

>> No.1637898

>>1637859
>Today I told my mother I "wasn't interested in 4-D girls" /jp/.

You're not interested in temporally-irrelevant females?

>> No.1637901

>>1637784
I was friends with someone once, whose mother didn't really approve of me. She thought I was cramping her child's social-butterfly nature, or something. I parted ways with that friend when they began to participate rather heavily in normalfag activities (drinking, drugs, sleeping around, things most parents don't really appreciate their child doing). Suddenly the mom was much more welcoming when I came around to visit my ex-friend. Heh.

>> No.1637910

>>1637897
And most Americans (probably Europeans too) believe that all pedophiles like children of both sexes.

>> No.1637919

This anon here is attempting to construct a shell of normal. Results so far have been failures.

>> No.1637922

PROTIP: STOP LIVING WITH YOUR GODDAMN PARENTS YOU UNDERAGED SHITBAGS

>> No.1637932

>>1637922
We're all NEET in our 20s, don't you know?

>> No.1637935

>>1637922
I think you'd fit in better with /b/.

>> No.1637939

>>1637922
I'm 22 and my rent went so far above my head in the current economy that I didn't have a choice. Besides, in many civilized countries, kids move out when they get married, not when they finish high school.

>> No.1637940

>>1637922
but we're underage...where can we go =[

>> No.1637955

>>1637922
I don't, I simply rely on them for food

>> No.1637970

>>1637932
I'm a 24-year old NEET, and I haven't even been in the same town my parents live in for six years.

Why is so hard for you faggots?

>> No.1637973

>>1637939
>civilized countries
Second- and third-world shitholes don't count as civilized, bro.

>> No.1637974

>>1637939
>Besides, in many civilized countries, kids move out when they get married, not when they finish high school.
Americans can't seem to grasp that concept, Anonymous.

>> No.1637980

My parents have never asked why I don't have a girlfriend, only my grandmother who tells me I'm sure to get one soon because I'm so 'handsome'. I think they gave up on me; I might hide my power level, but I've been playing the vidya since I was four.

>> No.1637989

>>1637973
He's not your bro, faggot.

There's no such thing as a second-world country anymore in any case. Only first-world, or developed countries, and third-world, or developing countries.

>> No.1637996

>>1637974
I'm not American, but I still think it's retarded. Any parent who coddles their child so much as to house them late into their twenties is a fucking failure.

>> No.1638007

>>1637996
Or maybe because they can afford it, instead of being tight-fisted faggots about it all?

Nothing wrong with living with your parents for a while when working to build up money in my opinion.

>> No.1638012

>>1637996
I'd coddle your parents.

>> No.1638015

>>1637980
My mother doesn't care, but my father always asks whenever he sees me (about twice a year or so) "do you have a girlfriend yet? How about a boyfriend?"

>> No.1638013

>>1637996
>Any parent who coddles their child
It's not coddling unless the person in question is free-loading. I still live with my parents but I also contribute $500 a month to the household including paying bills. Of course I have no intention of staying there forever. Once I save up enough to buy a house then I'm moving out. But fucking renting. Rent nowadays is almost the same amount as a mortgage. Makes no sense.

>> No.1638019

>>1638007
athens has convinced me that my previous opinion must be false, if he agrees. American parents that let their 19+ year old kids live with them are horrible people and are doing their children a disservice.

>> No.1638022

>>1637996
INTERNET TOUGH GUY

>> No.1638030

>>1638013
That's why you flat. Get three/four people together and split the rent on a single house. Or the mortgage if you prefer, though owning a house is basically a useless endeavour.

>> No.1638039

I told my mother that I had no interest in real women about a month ago. She cried for a week and looks sad all the time now.

I regret nothing.

>> No.1638044

>>1638007
>living with parents for a while
I suspect this be a long-term and permanent trend, since university is practically a necessity now and with the rising cost of living and such.

>> No.1638052

I've had girlfriends and have gone so far as having a relationship over the internet. Neither of them worked and my choice of partner constantly degraded from the first. Eventually I just couldn't be bothered after having all of my ideals blown out the window and my parents know that, so they no longer bother me about it.

When /jp/ arrived and threads like these started to show up, I took into account every posters mishaps and couldn't find myself disagreeing to how disgusting real women are. If I were to tell my mother my dislike for real women, I'm sure she'd be worried so I won't bother with it. If it slips somehow, I don't quite care for whatever reaction she has towards it anyway. Out of curiosity though, why does it matter if your mother knows about your disinterest to you guys? Is it because of unreasonable requests like having grandchildren being unfulfilled?

>> No.1638046

>>1638030
>Get three/four people together and split the rent on a single house.
>Get three/four people together
And pray tell, where is Anonymous going to find three/four people that would be willing to live with him?

>> No.1638057

>>1638039
You made your mother cry anon-kun, how could you?

>> No.1638064

>>1638046
I barely even know my flatmates' names. So long as you don't try to kill each other and you keep your room door locked, you're fine.

Sometimes you end up with bad flatmates, but most people really don't give a shit what you do in your room so long as you pay the bills.

>> No.1638082

>>1638057
>anon-kun

GB2 GAIA

>> No.1638117

>>1638082
But then we couldn't be together, anon-san ;_;

>> No.1638134
File: 13 KB, 200x228, 1227157924167.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1638134

>>1638052
>>have gone so far as having a relationship over the internet

>> No.1638139

My mother dates guys she meets over the internet, I don't see why I can't let her know I date 2D girls on my computer.

>> No.1638156

My parents rarely ask me if I have a girlfriend. I think they're more concerned about me finishing school. It's good to have JP parents since they get the whole anime deal, although it's still creepy to them.

>> No.1638165

Fuck off with this shit you cancerous faggots. This is worse than hearing a 13 year old girl's conversation with her friends. Stop it.

>> No.1638174

Fuck off with this shit you cancerous faggots. This is worse than a forum filled with blabbering 13 year old girls. Stop it.

>> No.1638179

>>1638134
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
I still tried it in 3D, not that it made any difference.

>> No.1638194

>>1638174
>13 year old girls
You make it sound like that's a bad thing.

>> No.1638196

>>1638165
>>1638174
Oh hey, you must be new here

>> No.1638203

I'm 19 turning 20, and no one in my family ever brought up the subject of me never having a girlfriend. I don't know what to think.

>> No.1638265

>>1638139
Date your mom.

>> No.1638274

>>1638203
All those years of acting fabulous sure paid off, huh?

>> No.1638305

Looks like a lot of people in this thread have given up, but I still have hope..

>> No.1638318

>>1638305
>given up

Given up?

I don't think you understand anybody here.

>> No.1638328

>>1638274
I dunno, lol. Just no one ever asked.

>> No.1638342

>>1638305
Son, there wasn't any hope to begin with.

>> No.1638376

>>1638305
I never gave up, I just was never really interested in the first place.
Not saying I'm gay, just saying that I don't care to put up with a girls shit.

I had a whole story I was going to tell about some idiot I know that can't seem to be happy unless he's got some skank on him who cheats on him, but I decided "fuck it".

Just thinking back on those endless cellphone conversations he had ALL THE FUCKING TIME WHEN A BUNCH OF FRIENDS MEET UP that consisted of "I love you" back and forth piss me off.

The entire group trying to play D&D and the bitch keeps calling him every two minutes to say some lovey dovey shit for the billionth time, an he's the fucking DM.
That got on everyones nerves pretty damn quick.

>> No.1638386

>>1638376
That's when you and your friends, as dnd players, don't ever let him DM again.

>> No.1638392

>>1638386

Better yet, stop being losers and quit playing dnd altogether.

>> No.1638395

>>1638392
Oh please, I play dnd too. It's almost gotten me a girlfriend in the past. Actually now that I put it that way, maybe I should quit.

>> No.1638414

>>1638392

Yeah, stop doing loser shit like dnd and play dating sims instead. That's the path of a REAL MAN.

Protip: if you are on /jp/, stop talking about how to be cool. That's not what /jp/ is about.

>> No.1638415

>>1638395
>It's almost gotten me a girlfriend in the past.

Nobody gives a shit.

Fuck, what's wrong with you /jp/?

>> No.1638428

>>1638392
>dnd
>stop being losers
>/jp/

This is like calling someone weeaboo on any other board.
Because it's still 4chan.

>> No.1638425

>>1638415

Didn't you hear? With athens at the helm, /jp/ is the /r9k/ for weeaboos!

>> No.1638436

>>1638415
Did you even READ the next line? Or just ignore it outright?

>> No.1638443

>>1638425
I for one, welcome our new women hating overlord

>> No.1638451

I have herpes.
Not on the penis, just around the crotch and a few on the balls.

How is this /jp/ related?
Because I'm a ronery virgin and somehow I got STD.

>> No.1638481

>>1638451
I've had these weird bumps along the bottom (closest to my body) part of the shaft and along the right side of it about half way for as long as I can remember. What the hell is it? Is that normal?

>> No.1638482

>>1638376
jesus christ...

>> No.1638492

>>1638481
I went to a doctor, gave me some cream, didn't do shit.
second opinion "hmm. well. its not bothering you? never itches? no pus or anything? probably sweat glands or hair folicles. try wearing lighter underwear? I can set you up with a skin professional if you want, but I wouldn't stress."

So I didn't stress.

still a virgin though...

>> No.1638497

>>1638481
I went to a doctor, gave me some cream, didn't do shit.
second opinion "hmm. well. its not bothering you? never itches? no pus or anything? probably sweat glands or hair folicles. try wearing lighter underwear? I can set you up with a skin professional if you want, but I wouldn't stress."

So I didn't stress.

still a virgin though...
though not because of them. I mentioned them to a girl one night after a party where she jerked my cock and dry humped me for a bit, and she reckoned they were normal.

...
suddenly: my live journal about the sex I never got!

>> No.1638505

>>1638492
>>1638497

samefag

>> No.1638506

I signed up for a volunteer job just because a girl I liked did it too, when the day came, she never did show up... now I feel like a total douche for going to these lengths to get to know women better... I found out a couple a days ago that chick had a boyfriend, it didn't really bother me, I actually felt relieved, now all the girls at my college have boyfriends and the outnumber us 3 to 1.

>> No.1638507

>>1638492
>>1638481
It's probably not herpes.
Try spreading some baby powder on it.

>> No.1638512

>>1638451
How did you manage that?

>> No.1638523

>>1638512
The hell should I know?

>> No.1638539

>>1638497
>>1638507
Thanks for the replies. I've always been worried about.

>> No.1638565

>>1638539
although it could be cancer/aids.

>> No.1638737

Every time I see this thread I'm mesmerized by delicious Yayoi and have to click on it. And only then I remember it's actually a thread full of pathetic Anonymi griping about their parents catching them fapping. And then it's too late and I CAN'T UNSEE.

>> No.1638946

>>1638737
lol

>> No.1638981

I told my mother that rl girls are screwed up who only care about money and appearances, and she didnt mention the topic of getting a girlfriend since then

>> No.1639099

My mother married my father when he was 32 years old and a virgin. I'm 23 and they never ask me when I'll get a girlfriend.

Also, my father lived with his parents until he was 26. Being a loser is apparently hereditary.

>> No.1639194

>>1639099
Hahahaha, born to lose.

>> No.1639266

MOM: Hey, Tim. You know you are in that age, so why don't you start to date some girls?

TIM: W-W-Whaa ... u-u-u-ungh ... Mom ... I'm not into 3D girls

MOM: THREE DEE? Not into?

TIM: Ungh yes. My i-i-i-interests are centered a--a-about girls with t-t-t-tails

MOM: T-T-T-Tails?

TIM: Y-Y-Yes. Tails.

MOM: ???? B-B-But girls?

TIM: I think so. B-B-But only 2D.

>> No.1639271
File: 9 KB, 2365x2338, 1227187905821.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1639271

.1. Open this image.
2. Save it as 4chan.js
3. Opnen the file you saved.
4. ???
5. Shitbb bricks.

c

>> No.1639278
File: 9 KB, 2365x2338, 1227188125902.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1639278

1. Open this image.
2. Save it as 4chan.js
3. Open tIhe file you saved.
4. ???

5. Shit bri-cks.

>> No.1639282
File: 6 KB, 236x300, 1227188217841.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1639282

>>1639266
T-t-t-that's a l-l-lot of s-stuttering!

>> No.1639285

>>1637580
I doubt my parents would even understand that.

And do you people really not like IRL girls? It's hard to tell whats a meme and whats real in this board...

>> No.1639292

>>1639285

You don't belong. /r9k/ misses you.

>> No.1639293

>>1639266
iconcur.

Do you want to have gay sex with me?

>> No.1639299

>>1637707
>See how the town has changed?
Have you been in your room for a decade or something?

>> No.1639309

>>1637882
>offer oral sex to relative
>father, "I don't agree with the way you did it, but I am glad that we don't have to talk to them anymore."
Whaaat.

>> No.1639311

>>1639299

I dunno how it is in towns, but shit changes fast in the city, bro. I took a walk down to my old schools and various other landmarks with Google's street view thing and I would've been completely lost if not for the street names. I guess I am steadily approaching the decade mark, though. Google's awesome, it's great to be able to see the change without going outside.

>> No.1639391

>>1638376
never gave up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

>> No.1640103
File: 9 KB, 2365x2338, 1227204078940.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1640103

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>> No.1640143

>>1639299
Not quite, more like 6-7 years. I still have a fairly good idea of the town layout due to sort of time frozen memory, however I'm a bit dodgy in regards to street names and hopeless when it comes to describing where something is.

>It's near 'x' shop.

>But dear, 'x' shop closed down 5 years ago, 'y' shop is there now.

>>
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