>>15837724
Anata mo kyou de Koishi chan ni
Koishichau〜!! I can become a jewel too once polished! I came from Hyougo prefecture! I am Koishi Kumiko!
2014.11.1220:18
It has been 1 year since the draft meeting.
Many things happened.
About the things before the draft meeting,
I have wrote long paragraphs about that in other (social) media so
This time I will talk about this one year after I joined SKE.
It has been so long yeah?? ^_^
1 year has passed since I was chosen (during the draft meeting),
And in this 1 year, I cried so much.
It became a habit.
Why do they say things like this to me?
I probably wouldn’t have such worries if I led a normal life.
In this year, these kind of thoughts haunted me many times.
What I learned in this one year was that,
Being an idol is not an easy job at all. You are always fighting with yourself.
When I was still an ordinary person, I thought idols live in a flowery world.
However, that all changed once I entered that world.
It is painful, full of tears, challenges, nervous breakdowns, and scoldings.
I wondered many times “Why did someone who is so shitty and can’t do anything like me join (this group)?”
I couldn’t dance at all,
And I couldn’t talk with the seniors,
I was always alone. In the beginning!!
A few things touched me and remains in my heart.
The first is
On the eve of my theater performance debut,
Rena-san took the trouble to come to watch my dancing.
She had come 2 days before that as well.. That time, Rena-san said,
“I didn’t think you were this bad” and was disappointed.
So, to show Rena-san who would come to see me 2 days later how much I wanted to perform on stage, I practiced without sleeping. However, my efforts betrayed my feelings and my dancing was still shitty
My face was all red, I looked exhausted, I couldn’t smile, it was horrible.
Rena san
Asked me to sing many times
I was singing while dancing but I lost my breath and couldn’t sing„,.
Then,
Rena san said
“I can’t hear you with such a (small) voice.”
I was so scared.
Rena san was very strict when checking me dancing. She did not smile,
She watched me with a straight face.
Even now, when I think about that time,
Rena-san was really scary lol
However, I thought to myself that if I let go of this chance, I might never be able to perform again, and I did my best.
After the dancing test ended,
Not even Rena-san nor the manager nor the dance teacher
Said to me “Please do your best tomorrow”
I had thought that that was it for me.
For the longest time, in front of me,
Rena-san and the manager and the dance teacher discussed about letting me have my debut on the next day or not.
During that time,
I felt so uneasy I couldn’t take it.
And then, Rena-san said “Do your best tomorrow! I will be watching you too.” That was the first time Rena-san smiled to me.
I cried non-stop.
I cried while we embraced. ^^
Rena-san is really a graceful person.
She cares a lot about people around her (Cry)
When I think about it now, it is a really touching episode.
Other than that, there is the Te wo tsunaginagara’s first day, the Wimbledon he tsureteitte episode,
And the time when I was in Ebishow but couldn’t do much and cried to the manager,
And in the beginning when I couldn’t get close with the seniors, and cried on the phone with the manager every day.
There are lots of episodes.
Today and yesterday as well, I was given crazy jobs,
Yesterday’s job was particularly hard, so
It reminded me again that being an idol is not a walk in the park.
Even now, in the dressing room,
I am always alone lol
I understand that I have to be proactive if I want to be closer with seniors. The world is not so kind to let you wait for other people to talk to you. it is the same thing with greetings.
It is very important
To be proactive.
I still can’t do it properly.
Even Aya-san, when she is eating,
She would say “Koishi, you can have this! ^^”,
Sharing her gyouza with me.
(T/N: Shibata Aya is a famous loner who apparently rarely talks to members)
I will be proactive.
I will sleep in my comfy bed today!!
Today, I finished 3-for-10 (T/N: In baseball style. Batting 10 times, and 3 valid hits)