/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

If you went to Gensokyo, and weren't allowed to NEET it out like a certain princess, what would be your dream job? I'd be a human guinea pig for Eirin or a palanquin bearer for Yukari.

[ANON X No.]

>>15075546
working in the tiny retail sector would interest me, especially alongside pic related.

[Anonymous No.]

Guy that bullies Youmu and fucks Yuyuko

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
I, too, would love to work with Eirin, but more as her co-worker ie a doctor.
Pic not really related.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
I would probablt get banished by Yukari if she doesnt kill me. Unless assassins are allowed in Gensokyo.

Seriosuly, why are the youkai letting humans int he village spread science? Such people are a threat to Gensokyo, and as a patriot we should take up arms and drive out those who threaten it.
>They are bright and cheerful youkai that will respond to happy voices with a cheerful reply and return an equally furious retort at shouts of anger, but in recent years it seems their population has been declining.
>This is due to the rumor that the truth behind the voices of the yamabiko are just the reflections of sound starting to spread among the humans of the village, so the number of humans who shout to them in the mountains has decreased. With many yamabiko losing their purpose in life, it seems they naturally became extinct.
Seriosuly, I know they need humans for faith in Gensokyo, but are those humans worth keeping? Would the powerful youkai of Gensokyo stop people combating such vile groups?
I believe in Kyouko. That would be my job, a faith cattle/inquisitor who punishes those who spread heresy like science.

First they said Yamabiko werent real, but I didnt speak out, because I didnt like the Yamabiko scum.
Then they said Tengu werent real, but I didnt speak out because I thought Aya was a slut.
Then they said gods werent real, but I didnt spreak out because I was euphoric.
Then thay they said my waifu wasnt real, and there was no one left to speak out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075652
*Seriously.
I need to slow down typing.

I would also strongly consider becoming a shinigami.
It's just manual labour that you can do at your own pace, you also get paid unlike working at the SDM.
Being a shinigami sounds comfy as fuck, and all you need is a boat and a scythe.

[Anonymous No.]

Become a security contractor like my previous job.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075668
You would never get hired. No one in this world can compete against magic. Even if you were in the SAS or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075674

I'm sure his employer would give him something to level the playing field.

Surly Eirin and the like would have stockpiles of weapons and gizmos.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075674
I could just become one the youkai's goons. Pretty sure they need some humans working for them which is manageable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
Masseuse

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075684
Eirin wouldnt need you.
She has rabbits for manual labour, and Reisen to sell things.
You arent needed, and would be a burden if anything.

>>15075694
>I could just become one the youkai's goons.
Who's?
Yukari has Ran.
Yuyuko has Youmu.
Kanako has Sanae.
Eirin has Reisen.
Remi has Sakuya.
Satori has Okuu, Orin and other pets.

You wouldnt be needed, the main groups alreadyu have more competent minions than you would ever be.
The only person who would take you in is Kasen, becuase Kasen is genuinely a wonderful person who would try to help you. But given she is a hermit, she wouldnt need you, or have a job for you. But who knows, if she can train you, you may become competent. Aside from that you can either beg Miko, Patchy, Alice, Futo, Marisa or Kanako to make you stronger. But I cant see Marisa or Alice taking on apprentices, Patchy probably charges (and you need to get past Meiling) and Kanako would only give you power for donations, which you probably cant afford.

Realisticly, we would just end up in the human village as faith cattle.

[Anonymous No.]

Is dying a proffesion?

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
I want to become Remi's butler.

And human pillow.

[Anonymous No.]

Dream job? Magician's apprentice of course

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075748
Working is death so, certainly.

True japeesies live forever though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
I'd get a job as one of Remilia's maids, obviously. It would provide more or less everything I need, and it wouldn't be difficult as long as I stayed out of Sakuya's way.

[ANON X No.]

>>15075748
do you wish to be her next client so badly?

[Anonymous No.]

Eirin Tasukete!

[Anonymous No.]

Kasen's apprentice!

[Anonymous No.]

Help out at the Hakurei shrine in turn for shelter.

[Anonymous No.]

Hecatia errand runner/Personal assistant. I doubt she has time for nitty gritty, Hell having lots of bureaucracy is canon and I am desensitized salaryman incarnate.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075568
This. Bumming around at Suzunaan and reading inbetween running errands for Kosuzu would be a really great way to live. Plus the shop's frequented by unique yokai enough to keep things interesting. That or delivering sake to various shrines on the off chance you get invited to join the festivities.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076555
>the shop's frequented by unique yokai
They're always in disguise, though. You wouldn't even realise.

[Anonymous No.]

Probably some small-time security guard for one of the larger merchants.

Instead of dealing with youkai, I just deal with other humans. Every day I'd entertain thoughts of knocking up some random Village girl, running away from her angry family and going on adventures across Gensokyo, meeting new and interesting youkai girls, and probably fugging them.

Then I come back down to reality and realise I'd just get fucking killed, and no matter how many times I ask, Reimu will not ask Yukari to give me a Stalker Suit, an AK, a seven-string guitar, and vodka to start stalkan around the place.

I wouldn't even be able to work. Everyone would regard me as a curiosity at best, and I won't understand a word anyone's saying. Eventually I'd probably go a bit mental.

[Anonymous No.]

Swaggie. Travelling while getting odd jobs to get by.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
Hunting down youkai with a rifle, then skinning them to make myself something to eat and comfy clothes to sell to the village.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
I'll apply for a job to the SDM, since i work already as a butler

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076655
>since i work already as a butler
How often are you molested?
Do you serve a christmas cake, a smug little girl, or a lecherous old man?

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076653
R.I.P

[Anonymous No.]

I wouldn't mind continuing my current profession as a paramedic, but without the proper drugs, equipment, and diagnotic tools, I'm basically a glorified EMT. Eirin might have what I need but I wouldn't have money to acquire it. Maybe she would hire and equip me as a stopgap responder to keep people alive until Reisen arrives or we cart them off to Eientei (which seems like a dangerous trek).

I could also fight fires, but without bunker gear and a closed breathing system most of my training is kinda moot. I can still assist on a fire brigade, I guess.

I could even help some of the Gensokyo natives with troubleshooting and repairing the new technology trickling in, but there are already enough modern japanese getting to the village that could likely do the same and also not be a big awkward gaijin.

When all else fails I could just do manual farm work and hope hungry youkai don't wander into the fields and kill me.

>>15075568
This would be nice but my Japanese is shamefully bad. Actually that would be a barrier for all of these jobs.

[Anonymous No.]

Help out at Rinnouske's shop and try to learn how to become an Ordinary Magician

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076753
Going to EET is honestly probably one of the safest places you could attempt to go, provided you find Mokou or ask Keine to help.

Keine existing is probably the best possible thing for any humans trying to go anywhere. Id probably just hang out and try to help at her school.

[Anonymous No.]

I would attend Byakurens sessions to watch her boobs bounce

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076753
Being a paramedic in Gensokyo would be great.
You should just have a cart like Orin's filled with medical supplies. Then you and her can race to a dying person.

>>15076759
Keine wont understand you.
Eirin is also a genius, but even that has it's limits. It would be cute seeing her speaking engrish.

[Anonymous No.]

Steal stuff from Marisa while she isn't at her house. What could go wrong?

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
As an arquitect I could open a construction business with the oni and Yamame, we can make houses earthquake proof, big tall buildings and expand the human villages. Even buildings to promote youkai-human trade with tha kappa and Rinnosuke.

As long as you can make a roof the contents can be endless.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
Eiring test subject. I can become the apex of the human race

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076925
>earthquake proof

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076697
Why do you say r.i.p? Do you mean to tell me my gun is useless against a youkai?

Besides I'm not doing anything illegal or bad in Gensokoyo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076801
That would just become an incident! The person who steals from everyone getting robbed by an Anon from a different Outside World than the usual one. You'd eventually get teleported back home.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
Is Wizard a viable profession? How long would it take to learn and perform the "Remove the requirement to eat" ritual?

>>15076994
Yeah most mundane weapons don't work against Youkai. You need blessed or magical weapons to fight them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15077112
>Yeah most mundane weapons don't work against Youkai. You need blessed or magical weapons to fight them.
Deus Vult.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
I want to work for Patchouli, her personal foot masseur.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076664
Currently I'm serving a crazy Christmas cake spinster that lives with her old mom.
i have another potential future employer, its a philosophy teacher grandma.
In my career I've been sexually harassed quite often. its the best thing about this job

[Anonymous No.]

>>15077112
>Most mundane weapons don't work against Youkai
When is a rifle or shotgun mundane in Gensokyo? Where does it say they won't be effective against a Youkai?

If I put a bullet in (for example) Alice who is a Youkai I'm pretty sure she isn't going to get back up all perfectly fine and alive. There's also things like silver bullets, and I remember correctly it doesn't require supernatural weapons to kill youkai. Normal blades have killed Kitsunes and Oni's several times in Japan folklore.

[........ No.]

>>15075934
how about court clerk for the yama?

[........ No.]

>>15075546
Temp agency in the human village.
I estimate that Remilia and Sakuya fire at least a half-dozen assistant maids a week for fucking off in the game room.

[Anonymous No.]

I teach people how to swim and get fit. Same thing really.

[Anonymous No.]

Probably work with Keine. I've done work with kids and worked alongside of teachers, though I'm not sure how that's translate to a town living in the Meiji era.

Otherwise I'd cook. I love to cook, people love to eat, that's pretty universal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15077322
You havent had an actual massage have you?
Fuck knows why tv presents it as relaxing. The purpose is to break up tight knots of muscle, and it hurts like fuck.

Yo uwouldnt want to hurt her would you?
Besides, she is so inactive I doubt she ever needs such things.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15077220
Your photo just made me realize how good a job as an enchanter would be.

Make and sell lucky trinkets en masse as the main thing, do custom jobs every once in a while. Then maybe even be able to team up with Kogasa and help create youkai exterminating tools once you're really good.

There's the problem of how to actually do it, though. The only way I can imagine learning it, is to work another job for a while, then go to Alice or Patchouli and pay them to teach you.

>>15077069
ZUN's been implying pretty hard that the Outside World is supposed to be our world.

[Anonymous No.]

Pimpin' fairies and other Youkai would be my dream job

If not, fried Tofu vendor

[Anonymous No.]

I would be Gensokyo's gynecologist! I imagine some Touhous would be SUPER flustered to show me their vaginas, while the perverted ones would make excuses to come and see me!

[Anonymous No.]

Chief impregnator!

[Anonymous No.]

I would just be a wanderer who just does odd jobs to help sustain myself. Chances are I'd die within a month.

[Anonymous No.]

How much trouble would I be in if I poisoned the drinking water of the human village. What would happen after loads of human villagers die after I do such a thing? Would, Gensokoyo disappear? I mean I'm going to get murdered and eaten by youkai anyways, so why not try spoiler anyways and see what happens.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15077220
>>15077112


The doughty and redoubtable men of /k/ have experience in these matters.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15078952
This makes an awful lot of sense. I can see a Colt Dragoon revolver blowing a youkai to smithereens.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15077763
>The purpose is to break up tight knots of muscle, and it hurts like fuck.
Yeah it hurts, but it's a good kind of hurt, like what you get after a nice workout.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076756
this desu

[Anonymous No.]

Help out at Moriya Shrine for shelter.

Hopefully work my way up to Kanako's affection.

[Anonymous No.]

I want to hang out with Nitori as a human visitor.

[Anonymous No.]

One internet connection, one small workshop and as many books on the subject of magic as possible.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! TIME FOR !!SCIENCE!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>15077398
>In my career I've been sexually harassed quite often. its the best thing about this job
it's off-topic, but please elaborate on this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15079045
>but it's a good kind of hurt
I disagree.
Post workout is a satisfying ache.
Now you feel looser after a massage, but it's far more painful than lifting is when they are putting pressure on your muscles.
Fuck foam rolling too, that shit is absolute agony on my glutes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15078952
I would imagine an artillery piece that is has seen action on ww1 and ww2 would be one hell of a cursed weapon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15080065
ww1 especially. Imagine all those trench soldiers thinking about them day in, day out, keeping constant vigilance for the sound of it firing, putting all their hope in their own sides' artillery pieces. For months on end. People's minds scarred from Shell Shock, soldiers thanking whatever shot created the shell hole they are now hiding in

There are people STILL DYING from some of the rounds fired by these guns, unexploded bombs made over a hundred years ago.

There are Shinto gods that came from less

[Anonymous No.]

>>15080108
https://youtu.be/JaEWJVWiWMQ

Thinking of artillery youkai reminds me of this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15080166
And your video reminds me of this. I don't Gensokyo needs an artillery brigade though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U67MRAPKXzU

[Anonymous No.]

>>15080178
Nonsense, more guns = more bullets = more danmaku.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15077763
Footrubs can be incredibly relaxing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15080186
Touring Gensokyo with a modified Mortar, being a paid danmaku tutor despite not being able to fly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15080317
Danmaku for hire!

[Anonymous No.]

>>15079658
Just most people i worked for took complete advantage of their position to feel me up, call me when they were showering or changing, or ask me embarassing and lewd things like sexual preferences and such. i love it because I'm depraved

[Anonymous No.]

>>15079007
Winchester Brothers got their game with this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15080317
Bullshit. If you rig it properly you can use the recoil to fly.

Or you can go the Stormboy route and strap a SCUD to your back.

But the best one still remains this one:

>The GAU-8 Avenger fires up to sixty one-pound bullets a second. It produces almost five tons of recoil force, which is crazy considering that it’s mounted in a type of plane (the A-10 “Warthog”) whose two engines produce only four tons of thrust each. If you put two of them in one aircraft, and fired both guns forward while opening up the throttle, the guns would win and you’d accelerate backward.

>To put it another way: If I mounted a GAU-8 on my car, put the car in neutral, and started firing backward from a standstill, I would be breaking the interstate speed limit in less than three seconds.

[Anonymous No.]

Ranching
Everything is better with some cows around

[Anonymous No.]

>>15081002
We've got a whole village already.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076777
Keine might not get full english but since you're a human it shouldn't be that hard to get her attention and to have her try to understand and help you out. She's probably the only person that actually gives a fuck about the village and doesn't see it as Faith cattle so if I want anyone to help me I'm seeking her or Rinnouske out first.

[Anonymous No.]

If I complete my engineering degree before I'm abducted, I'd try befriending and working with Nitori. I could combine my outside world knowledge with kappa technology. It would be interesting to see what we could make with our combined understanding of engineering and combined with her understanding of magic. We'd probably talk about outside word tech and scifi while working on projects and trying to recreate the stuff we discuss.

If I gain her trust, I would also have access to her tools, so hopefully I could make something to sell back at the town to support myself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15082110
Ranches can always use another set of hands, cows are a headache
https://youtu.be/2nk8-MqnHlw

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075725
With happy end?

[Anonymous No.]

I want to be eaten by a cute youkai!

[Anonymous No.]

Manual Labor or being an assistant of sort seems fitting, Butlers, Gardeners etc.

Preferably at somewhere with cute girls.

[Anonymous No.]

Start a military or civil police organization for the human village.

Or work as a lawyer for some rich fucker.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
i'd be a prostitute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SEX WITH 2hus

[Anonymous No.]

Im gonna become Marisa's output of sexual frustration, professional

[Anonymous No.]

Rejecting my place;
To eat, sleep, and enjoy life
I'll turn to God's word.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15080630
How do you even get training to become a butler? Do you have to find a haughty oujo-sama to take you in and apprentice under her aging world-weary head butler/maid?

[Anonymous No.]

Electrician, 'cause that's what I do now. I guess I'd have to deal with Kanako to actually make it work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15085676
>>15080630
I'm actually curious about this part as well

[Anonymous No.]

Find Reimu and ask her to send me back home. I'd want to neet it up like the princess but otherwise I can just neet it up here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15085676
>>15094746
Actually there are schools for it, but I'm just a wild butler. you just need to be polite, know a bit of etiquette, have a bit of experience in domestic economy and be a good listener.
combat training may be useful in some contexts too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15076770

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
A fucboi.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd be a rapper, rolling on dubs and iced out like a freezer

[Anonymous No.]

I would trade remi my blood for food n permission to live in her library

[Anonymous No.]

Hunt wild game. Im sure i could make a nice amount of cash on hunting due to humans being afraid to venture out of the village, if i can survive. Or guard the gate with China. My IT knowlegde is probably useless.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15075546
Youkai exterminator or anythimg that'd get me into Reimu's bloomers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15095631
Huh. Standing at attention. Meticulous cleaning. Yes, sir / Yes ma'am. Tight dress code and grooming.

That just made me realize my basic military training was preparing me to be a combat butler for officers.

[Anonymous No.]

Bring a Bible, preach the true faith, and eventually summon angels to cleanse this lost and mislead land that knows not the love of the lord.

[Anonymous No.]

>>15099745
Damn