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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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1489067 No.1489067 [Reply] [Original]

Meanwhile, in the distant past...

>> No.1489097
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1489097

>>1489078

I do not see penguins of doom nor sporks.

>>1489067

Dan-kun put Bara-bara's eyepatch on the wrong side.
That means he should burn.
BURN.
DIE IN THE NAME OF FATHER.

>> No.1489184
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1489184

Take it easy!

>> No.1489199
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1489199

>>1489184

>> No.1489070

Oh Dan, remember when people liked your comics?

>> No.1489075

>>1489070

They never did

>> No.1489078

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is Rucky Star!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot waifu Konata!! <333333333 OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…KONATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII KONATA-CHAN!!!!!” I yelled n____n then she turned chibi then un-chibi!!
she looked at me [:3] and then she saw how hot I am *___* she grabbed my hand and winked ~w^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE CHOCOLATE CORNET!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat fag watching us and I could tell he was undressing her with his eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY GIRL WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH TSUKASA CAUSE KONATA-CHAN LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then konata held me close =^____^= and said she would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to her apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became otaku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<)

>> No.1489085

>>1489078
But Rozen is 10 times older.

>> No.1489086

>>1489078
Never gets old. I should even still have the Tsugumi-flavored pasta.

>> No.1489088

http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=YWj5a0fNjWY
これか

>> No.1489099

Where is my hi-res version of snacks underageb&, Dan? You said there would be a hi-res version.

>> No.1489104

>>1489075
I liked his comics when I was 14 and liked Elfen Lied and Gunslinger Girls

>> No.1489107

>>1489086
I was going to post the hikkikomori desu story, but I seem to not have saved it!

>> No.1489111

>>1489104
Are you comparing Elfen Lied to Gunslinger Girls? What the fuck is wrong with you?

>> No.1489117

>>1489111
They are both equally shitty.

>> No.1489124

>>1489070
i like his stuff, still

>> No.1489134

You are awesome, Dan \.

We should hang out sometime. I'll buy you a beer.

>> No.1489135

You are awesome, Dan.

We should hang out sometime. I'll buy you a beer.

>> No.1489281
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1489281

I watched her enter the room, her gorgeous, body-length brunette hair shimmering in the light. She slammed the door shut with her delicate fingers, and she stormed across the room in a manner that made clear she was upset.

"I can't stand it, deѕu~! Why must they always pick on me, just because I'm new, deѕu~? They're all bakas, deѕu~!"

As she said this, she clenched her fists and scrunched up her beautiful porcelain face. I felt something move inside my heart. Or was it my pants? In any case, I got up from my desk and moved towards her.

"What are you doing, chibi human? I don't need any comfort from a chibi like you, deѕu~!"

She spoke harshly, but as I moved closer, I could see her soft cheeks were blushing bright red. I touched her cheek lightly. She squeaked, brushing my hand aside and moving back. I smiled and moved towards her again.

"Suiseiseki" I said softly, caressing her face. Her cheeks were as bright as her right eye. Her eyes were gazing into mine.

"What are you doing, Chibi Human? Stop this at once, deѕu~!" But her eyes said yes. In a flash I swooped down and swept her off the floor. She pushed at me with her delicate doll arms, but I would not be denied. I lay her down on my bed, pinning her arms down. She put up a token show of resistance and looked away, blushing. I bent down and begin to nibble at her ear.

"Stop it, deѕu~! You're a baka!"

>> No.1489140

VIP QUALITY

>> No.1489147

>>1489107
NEITHER HAVE I

>> No.1489151

>>1489147
Well, I Googled it and saved it, so now I have it.

A worthy addition to my 138 KB copypasta database.

>> No.1489152

I once caught my physics teacher, quite a hot MILF actually, saying some really harsh stuff to another teacher about one kid that sucked at her subject. (Didn`t do his homework, general misbehaving, etc.) I mean REALLY harsh stuff. She and that other teach must`ve been huge friends, because she was openly telling her all that shit, but when she found out, she totally flipped.

I hinted very subtly after one of her lessons that I had overheard her little rant and she got so nervous. I mean, I didn`t even care about that kid she slammed, but she was so sure I was going to tell on her.

We were alone in the classroom (I had waited until everyone left so I could tell her that I knew about the incident.) so she quickly ran for the door and locked it from the inside. Then she grabbed me by the shoulders and asked in a panicky whisper whether I was going to tell on her. "No, of course not!" I said, but she just blurted out the good old "I will do anything, just please don`t tell!”

Oddly, I didn`t even think of sex, but she grabbed me even more tightly, and kissed me. I was totally taken aback, but she was already unzipping my jeans. She didn`t blow me, a quick hand job and a 10-minute doggy-style (thank god I wasn`t a virgin back then) with her bent over the desk. She actually moaned a bit, but I think she was more concerned with getting her name cleared. (Oh, the irony.)

Needless to say, I came all over her naked back.

I think she realized quite quickly that I was never going to tell on her in the first place, because she was a bit cloudy during the following days, but I still got along with her fine until I graduated.

>> No.1489159

>>1489152
>>1489151
wat

>> No.1489162

>>1489067
It's not shit >.>
________________________________
TouhoU 4 EvR Take it Easy
/-*Mima will be back I feel it in my bones! - Put this in your sig if you want Mima back*-\
Proud member of /jp/'s touhou fan club

Friend list: ZUN(barViVIt), Kyon, China, Remilia, Aya, Currybutt, Aya Hirano sama fan (<3)
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WhEn I rEaD mAnGa wItH yOu I wAnT tO sToP tIme
Dog Sakuya-

>> No.1489166

/a/ is tsundere for Dan Kim

>> No.1489170

>>1489166
we don't give a shit, this is /jp/

>> No.1489173

>>1489170

/jp/ is yandere.

>> No.1489175

>>1489173
more like danyere, amirite?

>> No.1489180

Dan Kim is a waste of sperm and eggs.

>> No.1489181

HALP

>> No.1489187

"Does master want Suiseiseki to give him a footrub-desu?" she purred.

>> No.1489192

"No thank you," I said. "I'm rather tired. You should retire to your box."
"But master-sama, Suiseiseki doesn't like her box-desu! I want to sleep in master-sama's bed-desu!"
"Not tonight. You'll do as you're told."
"Why doesn't master-sama have real girls in his bed?"
"What?!"
"Is master-sama's penis too small for real girls?"
"Why aren't you saying desu?"

>> No.1489194

"Does he have to use dolls instead?"
"SAY DESU! SUISEISEKI FINISHES HER SENTENCES WITH DESU!"
"Master-sama showed Suiseiseki his penis once."

>> No.1489200

"DESU! MASTER-SAMA SHOWED SUISEISEKI HIS PENIS ONCE DESU!"
"It was too small even for dolls."
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT SUISEISEKI!"

>> No.1489201

With my right hand I snatched a pair of scissors from my desk and mashed them continually into her face. Her little body was smashed into kindling but I did not stop. Until her screams began to sound a bit like my voice, and I remembered that dolls did not scream, and they did not bleed. Suddenly there was feeling in my left hand for the first time in weeks. I lifted it out of the doll's wreckage, covered in splinters and dripping from scissored wounds. How long had my hand been inside there? How long had I been inside here, alone in my one-room apartment, talking to myself, going mad?

The bolt scraped rust from the latch as I stepped outside. My eyes hurt, god the horizon ... it was a deal larger than 19 inches diagonally. But after five steps my breath quickened and my chest tightened and I turned back. Enough for today. Tomorrow I would try for six. A distant memory told me that when I reached two hundred and eighty, I would make it to the bus stop. And then I'd be free of this apartment, of this prison. And then there'd be nowhere in the world I couldn't go.

Least of all the refunds counter at Moemart in Akihabara. For fuck's sake. Suiseiseki finishes her sentences with desu.

>> No.1489359
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1489359

>>1489333
No you're shit.

>> No.1489380
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1489380

I like Rozen Maiden, it is a very entertaining anime.

>> No.1489299

>>1489281

I pulled my head up, and gazed into her beautiful face. "You're very Kawaii when you're angry. Yes, I am a baka, Suiseiseki. A baka for not realizing my feelings sooner. I love you, Suiseiseki. I can't live without you. I must take you, now!"

I saw her eyes begin to water with happiness. She smiled, and I sat up so she could stand up on the bed. "Then.. you're okay loving someone with a body like mine, deѕu~?"

I laughed. "Suiseiseki, I don't care about that. I don't care about you becoming Alice, becoming a real girl. I just want you, like you are now."

A tear ran down her face, and she smiled. "Thank you, Chibi Human." And with that she began to undress. She took off her headdress and set it aside. She blushed at me, and then let slip her dress. My mouth began to water. She pulled her undergarments over her head. I let my eyes drink in her body. The soft curve of the porcelain, the delicately crafted joints, the well-baked doll ass, her 5-inch dong, the slender... uh, the slender... wha, er, DONG!!!??? NO, ER, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

...

I awoke, sweat soaking my brow. The clock read 1:00. 4 hours since I marathon'd Rozen Maiden while packing down Tequila. I realized I had a massive headache. I looked down my pants and saw that my once massive boner was now a limp dwarf of its former self. As I slumped down into my bed, I realized the only way to salvage this night was to post it on /jp/. Deѕu.

>> No.1489306

>>1489299
>I looked down my pants and saw that my once massive boner was now a limp dwarf of its former self, all that remained was a sticky wet stain.
?

>> No.1489309

>>1489306
His penis liquidated.

>> No.1489310

>>1489306

Yotsuba came.

>> No.1489322

>>1489299
Wow, I just remembered when /b/ was good.

>> No.1489333

RM is shit anyway. Ugly dolls, generic plot, bad faitan. Nothing special for an intellectualy satori jpsy.

>> No.1489336

>>1489322

You must be from some kind of reverse time universe where /b/ has already been shut down forever.

>> No.1489349

>Maybe I should kill myself.
But you didn't, and I'm sure that you're entirely happy with that description, now that you have matured, progressed and become a confident and accomplished member of society. ^_^

>> No.1489353

>>1489333
No you are shit

>> No.1489369

>>1489336
But it's impossible to talk on /b/ these days. Your threads get deleted after 5 minutes. Go and try to make a Rozen Maiden thread there. It will disappear right away.

>> No.1489370

>>1489333
Finally someone else who doesn't like RM! I just don't understand why every 4channer worships that show.

>> No.1489396

I liked the Rozen Maiden PSX game more than the anime.

>> No.1489599

>>1489396
What, the fightan gaem? Or the datan simulatan gaem?

>>
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