BLARGH, otakus

[Anonymous No.]

I just wanted to rant about how sick you all are, sick and deluded, I'm reading this board and I feel sick, how you all should go watch "NHK ni Youkoso!" and try to fucking sort out your pitiful lifes, but then I remembered I am a furry myself. I guess we're kinda in the same boat.

[Anonymous No.]

>nhk
>anime
fuck off you tertiary pleb

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940442
>I am a furry
I'm considerably better than you, then.

[Anonymous No.]

Well NHK was a really good anime, I don't get what you're saying

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940488
No, like... totally not at all, as I'm a normally functioning member of society, and about the half otakus I know are filthy losers with no life.

[Anonymous No.]

I guess I am kinda bitter about it because I've lost a best friend because he became a weaboo and a hikikomori. He just ceased participating in any social interactions and fell into the dark abyss of moeland

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940510
So this is just a way to sort out your feelings in the most autistic way possible? And who are you to judge people you don't know?

[Anonymous No.]

lol shut your mouth kid before i shut it for you

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940522
U wot m8

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940520
You're probably right. I just downright can't stand anime and otakus since then... before it happened I was an anime fan myself, I loved the shit out of Evangelion, Utena, Penguindrum, Toradora, Ginga Tetsudou no Yoru, Ghibli stuff... but right now the only thing that comes to mind when I hear 'anime' are those generic harem stuff and unrealistic shit with one-dimentional characters - like Sakurasou, where the main protagonist is in a situation we would all cut off our both testicles to be in - and he just fucking complains all the time. And people are watching it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940586
So watch something good or just cut yourself off from anime. I won't recommend you anything, in case you ask.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940442
>Furry
>equal to a /jp/sie
Nah, even a nigger is better than you.
wwwwwwwww
i'm quoting your mom.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940611
Good anime is one thing, I would like to meet some otakus who are still normal, nice people, and not deluded idiots.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940614
Black people are just people though, my dear racist 14yo friend.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940669
Exactly, you're lower than normal people.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940681
I am not denying

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940662
They exsist, just not here. Met a cool ass nigga who loved anime. You wouldn't know it unless you asked because otherwise he was normal.

[Anonymous No.]

The books was pretty good but I prefer the Manga more.

The anime is just shit, it had a good ending song tough, ABABABABABA ODOROU

[Anonymous No.]

how the HELL are preople falling for this

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

>no hitomi gf

jdimsa tho

[Anonymous No.]

This is now an epic memes thread

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940730
Some people are his autistic, anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940748

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

It's official.
Post memes, but ONLY if their epic......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940442
>I guess we're kinda in the same boat.
Thanks for the laugh OP.

I'm much better than a furry. Also I have a job I hate, that pays minimum wage. So I'm not a total parasite.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940787
2D human waifus are not better than 2D furry waifus. And well... yep, just like me...? Only I'm working part-time and studying at the third best university in my country. I don't know what kind of furries have you met, but the ones I know aren't parasites for sure. A software engineer at Motorola, two university workers/scientists, one with ScD, lots of students...

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940442
Reminder that 4chan went to shit as soon as furries started getting openly accepted.

It's part of principle, as soon as you accept something you hate, you start to accept other things you hated.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940836
Well, people tend to be assholes. And don't worry, people hate you too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940830
Yes, you may be going to a nice uni, but you are still a furry. So you are still below me. You're below everyone aside from transexuals, atleast until you have surgery to look more like a dog.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940847
>And don't worry, people hate you too.
Yes, some people hate otakus.
But everyone hates furries, aside from furries.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

>>13940836

Yiff in hell as HELL, dude...

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940851
Lol no. You watch chinese cartoons and masturbate to 2d girls, the whole society looks down on you. + ever considered not being a douchebag?
And transsexuals are ok too. It takes some balls to go through what they're going.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940864
Not where I live. I don't have a fursuit myself, but I've been to many furwalks and people were reacting really positively, everyone wanted a photo with us, children were dancing and all. It was great. SFW furry artwork is acceptable too. But try to show any of your moe characters to normal people and you'll be ridiculed. Rightfully so.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

>>13940894

You are a fucking furry. You are a FURRY.
L
M
A
O

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940894
>It takes some balls to go through what they're going.
Well duh, what would they cut off if they didnt have balls?
>ever considered not being a douchebag?
Ever considered getting a few other furfags with you and passing around a bottle of bleach?

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940894

>It takes some balls

LOL

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940931
Come back when you're at least 18yo
>>13940924
At least I get to fuck my friends while you're posting weird girls after plastic surgery

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940933
pun intended

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

>>13940965

>YIFF YIFF YIFF

Quoting your brain
LOL

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

GODS lurk here, for fuck's sake.
Are you going to let this furry faggot cuck you, /jp/?
A fucking FURRY? A FURRY?????????????????????????

REVERE THE EMPEROR
EXPEL BARBARIANS!!!!!!!!!!
EXPEL!

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

尊皇攘夷
尊皇攘夷
尊皇攘夷
尊皇攘夷
尊皇攘夷

[Anonymous No.]

>>13941091
Just stop replying to troll, Len.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13941099
Len, what the hell, when did your autism level up?

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940878
>>13940924
>>13941053
>>13941099
Post pics where she pees

[Anonymous No.]

A furry pretending that it's not escapism when he does it? That's rich.

Get lost, animal fucker.

[Anonymous No.]

I just ate some fried chicken. The breasts were juicy, and the buns were soft and warm. Afterwards, the division manager of Popeyes came up to my table and asked me how the meal was.I said I was satisfied, but the meal lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apologized profusely, and said he had something to show me that would make up for it. He lead me to the back of the popeyes, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the popeyes cut large sections from the horse, which was whinneying and screaming in horror, the remaining sections of its body covered with festering sores and a froth of sweat. The popeyes employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around the room to find discarded chicken bones. They quickly tenderized the meat with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it. I asked the division manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's rump, the diseased asshole puckering rythmically with terror, squirting pus with each convulsion. {We're just about to use that section, would you like a crack at it first?} I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming my erect penis into the stallion's defenseless asshole. With each thrust, I donkey punched the horse in the back of the head, making it clench its ass even tighter. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeyes definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer.

[Anonymous No.]

I lay hidden in a crater about 15 meters away from the Moon King. His guards are no where insight, so I seize the opportunity by dashing foward at speed only known to the cheetahs. I swiftlly pull out my hidden blade which is the same kitchen knife my father used to murder my mother when I was 8, he proceded to give me this knife as if it were some family heirloom. Which I obviously kept for that was the only father son moment I had with him before he went to prison. Anyways with the kitchen knife quickly at the throat of the Moon King, I begin cutting at it very slowly as I show him his printed post history. Seein his life flash before his very eyes. As he bleeds out I use the remainder of the time to give him omega wedgies and when he dies he poops two turds out, but since I gave him such great wedgies it was like he was wearing a thong so when he pooped his turds split in half so it looked like he pooped four turds in total. I then update my facebook to "I'm the new moon king" and fart while doing it because its microblogging.

such a muderous era of kings and queens.

[Anonymous No.]

HI,

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is Rucky Star!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot waifu Konata!! <333333333 OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…KONATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII KONATA-CHAN!!!!!” I yelled n____n then she turned chibi then un-chibi!!
she looked at me [:3] and then she saw how hot I am *___* she grabbed my hand and winked ~w^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE CHOCOLATE CORNET!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat fag watching us and I could tell he was undressing her with his eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY GIRL WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH TSUKASA CAUSE KONATA-CHAN LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then konata held me close =^____^= and said she would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to her apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became otaku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<)

[Anonymous No.]

So /jp/, this is what happened at school today.

Since I'm pretty much the only computer geek in my class, I shoulder the burden of compiling this PowerPoint presentation that's to be used on this class project, right? I pretty much miss class all day to mess around with my laptop in the library. So today I happened to have my 200GB external hard-drive with me which is practically filled with anime. My math teacher walked in and commented on said external hard-drive - to make a long story short I ended up showing him my collection. He didn't know much about anime, so he told me to show him an example. I was, of course, more than glad to do so.
So as I scan the folder list, my eyes fall upon the letters: "Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan". A deadly plan forms in my mind. Dare I? Oh yes, I do.
"Here's a rather representative piece of anime," I declared. Double-click, play. The events of the first episode of a lolitastic gurofest began to unfold...
Starts off pretty innocently, with a couple of high-school students each walking off to different directions, each to his own home. At that point my math teacher has the kind of smirk that is to be expected, as if saying "Heh, this guy's still hooked on cartoons..."
But then the main character gets violently beheaded by a naked loli wielding a gigantic spiked club. Oh yes. The absurd amount of blood gushing out, the blood-covered flat chest... this is anime, baby. This is what has me hooked.
"This is what I do instead of homework" I said out loud. At this point my teacher's just looking around confused, muttering "I didn't know that..." He quickly makes his exit without as much as a glance behind him. I then go on with my business, preparing that damn PowerPoint presentation...

But I felt warm inside.

[Anonymous No.]

You might be surprised to learn that the most dangerous group in America are the atheists. Atheists are a cult somewhat similar to satanists, but based on the idea that God does not exist. Atheism is the gofficial religionh of much of Europe, especially France and Germany and much of Canada.

Atheists believe that all people evolved from monkeys and rocks. They also believe that the universe was created by an explosion called a gBig Bangh. Any child knows that explosions destroy (rather than create), however I only mention this as a means to illustrate just how preposterous and unscientific the core beliefs of Atheists actually are.

Some Atheists call themselves gIntellectualsh or gAgnosticsh, but all of them have something in common; specifically they do not accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior and therefore are going to Hell... but more than that they wish to drag you along with them!

You may not personally know an Atheist, but there are over 50,000 active atheists in the USA. Despite the insignificant size of this group, they are part of a well-motivated conspiracy to destabilize our values.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

>tfw it tastes like peach fanta

[Anonymous No.]

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

[Anonymous No.]

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>13941438
My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

[Anonymous No.]

Honestly, OP, why haven't you killed yourself yet, you german mistake of a person?

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

DESTROY RIAJUU!!!!!
REINSTATE THE LENFRIED!!!!
DESTROY RIAJUU!!!!!
REINSTATE THE LENFRIED!!!!
DESTROY RIAJUU!!!!!
REINSTATE THE LENFRIED!!!!
DESTROY RIAJUU!!!!!
REINSTATE THE LENFRIED!!!!
DESTROY RIAJUU!!!!!
REINSTATE THE LENFRIED!!!!
DESTROY RIAJUU!!!!!
REINSTATE THE LENFRIED!!!!

[Anonymous No.]

I go to the store just to organize the shelves.
Always the grocery store, they are way more fun and in my opinion more "strictly" laid out so it's easier to work in groups if that's what you want to do. it's just fun and i suppose i'm doing people a tiny little service by doing it and that's cool too. this is literally what i do instead of play video games

my favorite aisle is breakfast, the whole thing with the hot and breakfast cereals and the poptarts and oatmeal. it's the most colorful aisle and it's easy and fun to stack and look at things. second favorite is either the other boxed good heavy aisle where they keep the hamburger helper and stuff or the sauces section with ketchup bbq etc. juice aisle is colorful but usually doesn't need much reorganization and most of the items are really heavy

i don't think any of the employees have noticed i do it semi-regularly, but i do get thanked often when they notice me moving things.

[Anonymous No.]

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

never forget

[Anonymous No.]

I believe my true self is that of a 1978 Honda Civic. That is who I truly am on the inside, my soul-being. To express this aspect of my personality I draw pictures of myself as an anthropomorphic 1978 Honda Civic and share them with others of my kind. My girlfriend is an 1975 AMC Gremlin, and we are soul-mates. Automobile soul-mates. I communicate with others of my kind mostly through the internet, but sometimes we attend conventions. People persecute us for our true selves. My neighbor threatened to call the cops on me just for talking to his Escort. I'm not even into Fords, but that's besides the point. Just because I AM a car doesn't mean I'm going to have relations with just every car I see. It's not about the sex, though there is a 1955 Chevy Bel-Air I will never forget. You never forget your first. But I'm sick of people saying I'm perverted and wrong, and that I'm not really a car I'm just crazy. They don't understand, I have just as much right to the road as they do. Those assholes at the DMV are the worst, but I'd rather not talk about that ugly incident of carsecution. I have a good mechanic, though. You've never lived until you've had this guy change your oil. It doesn't make me gay, because I'm a Honda, not really a person. Your morality doesn't apply to me. I am a car. Beep beep, mother fucker. Deal with it.

[Anonymous No.]

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

For 23 years and 11 months had I suffered them, the ignorant gaijin back home who sickened me with their microwaved culture and their materialism. The spindly losers in the anime club who cared only for anime and not a whit for the superior monoethnic culture to which it was endemic. Well no more. Fucking zettai no more. I touched down in the country I was certain I had lived all my previous lives, no doubt as a badass ronin samurai ninja or some shit. I had never been here, but I had returned.

Nippon-sama, tadaima!

No sooner had I left the airport when I saw the woman of my dreams. She confirmed my every hope, my every ideal of this great land. The light coming in through the sakura backlit her like a full body halo. She was made of demure and soft spoken. Of bowing and bento.

Of Japan and perfect.

My heart started doki doki-ing all over the shop. And then she saw me! Spotted me in the crowd! Well, of course she did, I was like a head taller than the fucking hobbits they call men around here. I was in no state of mind to meet her gaze, and tried to look away but I was paralysed. She was just so ... prettyu ...

And just like that she started walking over. Her walk was just pure concentrated sex. If you poured a glass of it sex fumes would just rise right off the top. I loved the way the light danced unevenly over her pristine porcelain skin as she walked. The way she did more for me by showing just her shoulders than any American girls could by showing their entire gaping cleavage for all the world to SEE THIS YOU SHOULD TAKE NOTES, THIS IS WHAT SEXY IS YOU FUCKING WHORES -

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

>>13941479

"おげようごります"。
Oh ____, what did she say? She said something! To me! But I wasn't con –
"おげんきですか"。
OK, OK, I know this one. Where have I heard it before? Naruto 43? Oh god she's so hot –
"わたしのなまえは かお です"。
____, I couldn't find the right words. Was it oro? Was it dattebayo? Was it anata baka?!?
"おなまえはなんすか"。
You know what, it doesn't even matter! Her voice sounds as good as she looks. I don't need to say anything. I could do this forever. This is goddamn bliss.
"..."

[Anonymous No.]

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

>>13941483

She suddenly seemed apprehensive, like she was cautious of what she wanted to say next. Loveu loveu confession desu?!
"Yes, what is it?" I blurted out.
"OH HEY MAN YOU SPEAKING ENGLISH?"
"What?" What?
"OH YEAH YOU DOES HAY NICE I LIKE."
No. NO! This was not coming from her mouth. It couldn't be.
"OH HAY YOU FROM AMERICA I LIKE. SO COOL! ____!"
no no no no no no
"I LOVE ALL AMERICA MOVIE AND SERIE. OH HAY DO YOU WATCH FRIENDS YES. ROSS AND RACHEL. COOL!"
"Um ... pleasu speaku Japanesu."
"NO ENGLISH MUCH BETTER I LEARN MANY YEAR AND COLOUR HAIR TO LOOK LIKE HILLARY DUFF. SO CUTE! ____!"
"I CAN SPEAK JAPANESEU SO ONEGAI PLEASE SPEAK JAPANESE TO WATASHI!"
"MORE INTENSITY LOGER MOORE RIP MY STOCKINGS RIP MY STOCKINGS LOL"

[Anonymous No.]

So I was just taking a shit, right, when I realize I'm massively constipated from the three Taco Bell burritos I had last night. There was no way that massive log was going to ease its way out of my o-ring without shredding it to bits. It felt like the shit was coming out sideways. I was petrified, scared to move as the shit eased its way half out of my stressed sphincter. Then, the unimaginable happened: it got stuck.

I slowly moved off the toilet to the cabinent to get a tube of KY-Jelly out of it; a rather strange sight with a giant brown pickle hanging out of my ass. I quickly applied some lube to my fingers and circled the hard turd with a blob of it, hoping that the lubrication may loosen the strain. Slowly, the turd began to give way, and I used my already lubed hand to slightly tug the shit out of my ass. My fingers slowly dug into the concrete-like turd, and with a loud pop and a sharp pain, the 'thing' was finally defecated. I plopped it into the toilet and unfortunately realized there was more on the way. I stuck my lubed finger up my anus to probe, and I felt yet another hard peice of shit. Not thinking about the pain, I stuck another two fingers up my sphincter and grabbed hold of the feces. I pulled it out much like the last one. Yet another turd formed in line in my anus, and I inserted my entire fist into my anus and pulled out the stringy piece of half-digested Taco Bell "food." The gray cheese looked perversely delicious among the rest of the brown mud. I slowly plucked a piece of the cheese off the turd and guided it into my mouth; the taste was amazing. I licked the shit off all my digits rapidly, and began plunging my hand into my anus for more.

[Anonymous No.]

This one day, I decided to go to the mall to stare at all the preppy mall kids and make them question their own existence and perhaps even turn to Satan. But despite how totally kvlt I was being, everyone was ignoring me. So I went to that retched food court and sat down to contemplate the Burzum song stuck in my head.

And that's when your mother came up to me. Well, maybe not right away. I kind of stared at the back of her head for a very long time. She was dressed in this ridiculous pink dress and I assumed she was a happy person.

Then at some point, some dork with spiky yellow hair came over and talked to her for a while. She seemed to be enjoying herself, so I just stared harder. But then a few of his friends came over, and they all started laughing at her, and she started crying. I kept staring at her.

Later on, she turned around and noticed me staring. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and came over. She asked me who I was dressed as.

I laughed at her and told her that just because someone is dressed to reflect their inner cold dark soul, they are not "dressed as someone". But then I told her my corpsepaint was loosely modeled after Abbath.

She asked what show he was from.

I didn't understand the question.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

And here is a mighty enemy Lenfried defends us from, every single day. Isn't Lenfried amazing?

The name of the yakuza boss that discovered transdimensional travel is lost to time, his henchmen and enemies alike refer to him as Comboss. One of the first things he did after his discovery was meeting his alternate dimensional selves and offering an alliance with them, creating a gestalt hivemind with thousands of his alternate universe counterparts. As his name may indicate, Comboss is no one entity, but thousands of seperate individuals from various dimensions, all sharing a single consciousness. For every version of Comboss Lenfried kills, the hivemind recruits a dozen more, and not all iterations of Comboss chose the life as a yakuza boss - some are politicians, some doctors, some are engineers, some scientists, and with each version linked to the hivemind, the Comboss learns more. The Ninjas would have assassinated any single leader by now, but as it is, they are fighting an uphill battle. Not only does Comboss boast intellectual prowess of literal thousands, he is able to physically fuse into a giant robot containing hundreds of his bodies, affectionately known as the Big Boss in this form.

As expected from their central philosophy, the Ninjas value smallness of stature and innocent, childish femininity over all else, so the Big Boss is an aberration to them and they have no counterpart to this giant mech. They have been devastated by him for many years, but a recent discovery may turn the tides. Their answer is the Little Legion, sentient von Neumann machines in shape of one inch tall, dollish-looking girls. Invented by a Ninja scientist as dildo equivalents that could enter the vagina and stimulate it from within (since they have no need to breathe), they have found use as war machines and infiltration agents, able to sneak into the Big Boss and damage it from within like a mechanical germ.

[Anonymous No.]

This is why otaku culture is saikyou!!!!

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

Like Alice rabbit, I am late!!! For the date... running through the streets, knock over old lady on my way, have to say SORRY but VERY quickly... no time for chat. My GF is waiting....... I am very doing something wrong.

[mise en scene (this is art word)]

Lenfried (my gf) is waiting at train station. She is chewing bubble gum in sexy way, like U see in 007 movie (SEXY BUT NO SLUT). Looks at watch. "Y my boyfriend late again??? So many time late. We have sex only 6 times per day and also I am not a slut, maybe this is problem why he doesnt find me attractive now? maybe need more times?"

Still i am running. I hope she is still there, not bored and walk away. I run, all past dogs. All past more old lady. All past other businessman. I have run from office.

[scene in office now, this is flashback (more art word)]

"Oha-you, Anonymous-san. Y are you so quick to leave work today? U have... date? ;)"
"NO!!! U say such stupid thing........ my mother is the sick. U understand? Cancer in brain. Is very serious. Do not make the joke at serious time."
(i made lie to boss... very serious problem)
"OK I understand. Leave early."

I walk to desk, KARATE CHOP COMPUTER FROM DESK, NO NEED FOR ANYMORE, gather my money (much money), take small picture of Len I keep at my pocket, and start my RUN (or escape......................? double meaning--this is art word)

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

[back to present scene (this is art technique)]

STILL RUNNING, pass train station, NO DO NOT WANT BALLOON, NOT WAN--wait this balloon is much cute... man tie it up like cat... LEN LIKe cat... maybe I buy...

[dialogue (this is film technique)]

OK HOW MUCH FOR BALLOON?
Hello that will be ni hyaku yen
wat
TWO HUNDRED OF YEN
ok -give 200 yen- (i collected this money from sell Len pantsu on ebay... very serious problem)

Kawaii baloon. Pink cat. LEN will appreciate... I RUN MORE. DOWN TRAIN STAIRS, NO MORE TIME FOR WALK, JUMP ON HANDRAIL, RUN DOWN, MATRIX, PEOPLE ARE STARE WITH FACE ":O" BUT I AM NOT CARE ANYMORE, DESPERATE, BACKFLIP ONTO FLOOR, ENTER SONIC SPEED AND GET 2 TRIAN, RIDE TRAIN AND EXIT

"sigh, pant, pant" (onomatopeai -- book art word)
"finally I am here"

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

I see her. When I go up stair, I see her. Se standing there. I am san jyuu pun late. Is very serious problem, but she does not shout at me like normal. She smile.

"Anonymous, you are my kareshi. I love U. :) thank u for come on deito. What is this?"
"Lenfried I know u r my girlfriend who is not a slut and u understand my job is very isogashii but still I am sorry for makeing the lateness. Wint happen again, also i have you a balloon for apology"
"O my goodness anonymous-san, thank U!! This is cute cat balloon lol! what can I call it??"
"I think u should call it after Sanae because she is my favorite touhou who is not a slut just like u r not. is ok?"
"Yes, this balloon is called SANAE. She is cute cat lol"

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

now me and lenfried r walk along the seafront, holding hand.
"Ah, anonymous-san, i wait for some long time but so glad because u make me so happy when u arrive. im so happy u r my bf...:)"

I squeeze her hand more tighter as she say this, it make my heart feel light... aaah kimochiii. The sun is very bright and we walking by very beautiful river. I get Lenfried ice-cream, we sit on bench and stare out at the water

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

After ice-cream she say

"So Anonymous-san, shall we go now to our deito place? I am very excited!!"

Deito place is very big secret... I will not tell her yet, only lead her in direction.

We stand up and walk into distance.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

Lenfried look happy.

I say: "hello Len. U r my gf + i louv u. U happy?"
"yes Anon, I am just think about 1st time we met. do u remember that day?"

(FLASHBACK)

I am lying on floor. In circle. Circle made of bottle... plastic bottle. all full of the piss. My urine is in bottle... I am urinate in every day. Soemtime shit on floor. it cannot be helped... I am sad NEET, is it the sad life but i must continue.

>4chan.org
>/jp/

It is the sad day. /jp/ is make me happy. I read.

I read.

Read more.

Then I see.

Is the Lenfried thread.

I am fall on the floor. I am shake. Fear. Knock bottle. Piss everywhere. Roll in piss. Fear. Roll in piss. Scream. Love.

Love.

[END OF FLASHBACKING]

[Anonymous No.]

This thread give me autism

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

"Yes Lenfred... it was long time ago now. I remember 1st time i see u on screen. then we talk on twitter. now we r romantic couple with many memory. i am so lucky man..............."
when I say this, Len look at me with the smile. close her eyes, then grab onto my arm. she hold on as we walk. I am feel warm.

[AT THE PLACE OF DEITO]

Blindfold on Lenfreied. Walk slowly... OH ANONYMOUS WHAT R U PLAN? IS THIS SEXY TIME? ;)I wud not mind sexy time but i am not a slut 100% i only have sex w/ u

No Lenfried, no sex

I pull off blindfold

IS THE RESTAURANT

Lenfried is clap hands. Excite like puppy. Kawaii.

Yes, I have reservation 4 Anonymous-san. Please find me table.

We are sit at table. Len look into my eye, and back and forth. I feel so love. So love in my heart. Is is the happy life.

BRING MENU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

Have chicken wings and ice cream kudasai. Sukina tabemono.

Waitress walk away. Lenfred + me look at restaurant

(DESCRIPTION -- is literary word)

Is such nice restaurant . Blue, very blue all over. There is aquarium. So many cute fishy.

"Do u see tat one? Kawaii :)"

Lenfried pointing at big yellow fish. Is much scary maybe poison. But I am say:

YES NO AFRAID OF POISON... IS VERY CUTE FISH! I will buy u one day.

Restaurant is isogashii. Many people in restaurant. I look around and see ppl

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

There is more couple on deito

There is businessman on self, reading newspaper also

There is old lady with grandson, maybe for reward graduation

There is my boss

"Ah Lenfred, so busy restaurant ne. I am go to the toilet now ok? need pee lol"

I am walk to toi--UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA????

MY.......... BOSS? IN RESTAURANT?

VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM.

backflip over table. I am sneak under many table... swim through aquarium... stick on top of roof and move across........... in slow-motion I backflip from roof near toilet. IS ALMOST SAFE THEN-------

SMASH, SMASH SMASH

MANY PLATE IS FALL. I HAVE KNOCK WAITRESS. NO

minna san in restaurant look at me. is ok first then realise

BOSS IS LOOK AT ME

VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

"Anony...mous...................."
"hello boss. R u hav nice time in restaurant?"
"yes I am. thank u. is nice but y are you wet?"
"Oh I am swim in aqua--I MEAN IT WAS RAIN OUTSIDE!!!!"
"Oh I see. Ok."

I begin walk to toilet... close to safe... then suddenly... hear voice again

"One thing, Anonymous-san"
OH NO
"not u told me that ur mother hav the cancer? you go to hospital today?"
"eto......"
"...then why u r in restaurant now?"

TO BE CONTINUE.............................................(?)

[Anonymous No.]

>>13941812

i want more

[Anonymous No.]

>>13940499
regardless if you think you are a functioning member of society, youre still a furry, so you arent