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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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1371853 No.1371853 [Reply] [Original]

/jp/ There's a white van in front of my house with its engine on, it's been here for the past twenty minutes.

What should I do?

>> No.1371860

Go back to /b/, probably.

>> No.1371855

Cut its lines.

>> No.1371864
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1371864

Crossdress.

>> No.1371868

Throw stuff at it.

>> No.1371869
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1371869

>> No.1371874
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1371874

It's not like you're going to get v&.
You've got nothing to hide, right?
Right?

>> No.1371878

>>1371853
GROW INCREASINGLY PARANOID!

>> No.1371887
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1371887

This is where all the preparation pays off

>> No.1371903
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1371903

>>1371887
Fire away baby.

>> No.1371913

>>1371853
Try microwaving your hard drives.

>> No.1371916

Can you see if anyone's inside? Are they taking notes?

>> No.1371918

When I was young I used to throw darts at cars that were standing still near my door because it annoyed the hell out of me. Yeah, I got punished pretty badly for that, but you should give it a try.

>> No.1371925

>>1371918
When I was a kid I was playing darts with my friend, and I threw one at his face. It didn't pierce his skin, but he started throwing them back at me and I ran like the bitch I am.

>> No.1371928

>>1371913
Nipaa~.

>> No.1371927

>>1371925
Steve?

>> No.1371934
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1371934

>> No.1371939

>>1371925
Haha I had something similar, my friend threw the dart against the iron bit on the board and it somehow flew into my leg. I didn't speak to him for months.

>> No.1371965

go invite them to peruse your cp collection with you

>> No.1371995

>>1371928
I see nipaa in a white van thread! Nipa in a white van thread!!

Nipaaaa~!

>> No.1372004

I want a nipaa trip too. ;_;

>> No.1372014

>>1371995
>>1372004
I want to know how to Nipaa~, too.

>> No.1372021

I remember I came home from school one day and not five minutes later some guy in a van pulls up, gets out, and starts walking around our yard. I was 10 at the time so I did the only thing I knew how to do, I called my mom. She told me to lock the doors and call back if he tried to come in the house. I looked out the window again and he was holding a crowbar and talking on a cellphone. I didn't know what to do. I ran towards my parent's bedroom in a panic, when it came to me that it might be a good idea to hide under their bed.

That's when I saw it. I thought it was our cat at first, but it looked too human. Something about the size of a baby, all black, was thrashing around with ungodly movements. I screamed at the top of my lungs, hauled ass out of the back door, jumped on my bike, and never looked back.

An hour later I worked up the courage to return home. The van was gone. My father returned half an hour later and I told him about the man in our yard. There was no evidence of a break in, my scream had most likely scared him away.

That night at dinner my grandmother came over. During a conversation she casually mentioned it was the anniversary of my older brother's death. He died choking on his own vomit just before his first birthday.

>> No.1372024

>>1372004
Some time ago Nipaa0mi0-sensei gave me this trip:

#RMDkL*P(

Try it out.

>> No.1372025

>>1372021
sugoi monogatari, aniki

>> No.1372035

>>1372021
wat

>> No.1372041

>>1372021
Holy shit

>> No.1372050

>>1372024
Nipaa~?

>> No.1372061

>>1372024
I remember that, thank you.

>> No.1372059

>>1372021
Oh my..

>> No.1372063

Test.

>> No.1372071

>>1372021
Gorden Freeman found a headcrab in your front yard?

>> No.1372078

test

>> No.1372086

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfff

>> No.1372087

>>1372071
And he got scared when he found his little bro's heartless.

>> No.1372108

>>1372021
Wait, help me follow. Where did you see the little cat-human thing? And what is the significance of the man in your yard?

>> No.1372160

>>1372108
more importantly, WHO WAS PHONE?

>> No.1372154

>>1372108
Dead brother was under the bed, which lead to him screaming and scaring the would-be burglar out of the yard.

>> No.1372162

So I was this dart minding my own business when an asshole picks me up and throws me into another guy's face.

God I was pissed off.

>> No.1372170

>>1372162
I know how you feel man, this one time I bumped my head into something hard and in less than a second I find myself in someone's leg. Who would do such a thing?

>> No.1372171
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1372171

>>1372160
nipaaaaaaa~!

>> No.1372182

>>1372162
>>1372170
lol you 2 just made my day.

This thread is now officially the funniest thread on /jp/s front page right now.

>> No.1372305

>>1372021


I didn't like it, generic /x/ creepypasta vomited onto /jp/.

>>1372182

Well if this is the first time you've heard that kind of joke then I guess it might be pretty funny but after reading a million shitty versions of it straight out of /b/ I begin to cringe.

>> No.1372613

>>1372171
Mii?

>>
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