/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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Anonymous Mon Jun 1 22:38:04 2015 No.13586617 [Reply] [Original]

>be me
>gaijin in Japan
>on a date with qt3.14 J-girl at some bar
>date is going great
>she asks what my favorite anime is
>I say "Shrek"
>she giggles, intimidated by connoisseur tastes
>I escalate, showing her my katana
>she's impressed, but asks how I am allowed to carry it around in public
>show her my Naruto Fan Club ID
>"don't worry, a gentleman always protects his lady"
>she blushes and giggles some more
>sadly, the town I'm in has an American military base nearby
>bunch of Johnnies also frequent the bar
>one of them comes up to the counter, near where me and my girl are
>the Johnny yells at the bartender, "Gimme Hotdog!"
>the bartender tries to explain that they only serve alcoholic beverages, but the Johnny doesn't understand
>he angrily stutters, "Ch-cheeseburger!"
>the bartender, fearful of what will happen if he explains they don't have cheeseburgers, gives him a Budweiser
>the Johnny looks pleased, and laughs, "You Japs make some weirdass cheeseburgers"
>after a few minutes of drunken stupor he approaches us
>the Johnny yells at my girlfriend, "ME WANT GEESHA!"
>I defend my maiden, and tell him to leave
>the Johnny refuses, and lunges at me
>while fighting off his blows, I realize he is clearly physically superior to me
>the only way I can win is to use my superior atheist intellect
>suddenly, I get an idea
>I apologize for disturbing the Johnny and offer him a hotdog as a sign of peace
>the Johnny accepts,and starts drooling all over the bar counter
>I give him my Katana, saying it's a hotdog
>the Johnny accepts, and gobbles it down, killing himself in the process
>the girl hugs me and thanks me for saving her
>let's just say that the Johnny's lips weren't the only ones I stuck a katana through that night

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