/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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ran is batman Anonymous Mon Sep 22 13:18:13 2008 No.1349738 [Reply] [Original]

/Ran/ to /jp/:

Sup /jp/, This morning when I woke up, I ran 5 miles to the Human Village, cooked breakfast, played with Chen, fixed the borders, worked on the smirk-powered computer im building, fucked my girlfriend Yukari, paid Kourin for the tea she took from him, ate a few pieces of fried tofu, then brushed my tails.

What did you do /jp/? Fap to ideas of me and Chen playing innocently? Hah, I love /jp/; You fat pathetic losers make me spin.

-Love, /Ran/

Pic related: it's me and my tails.

>>	Anonymous of Croatia !na1byG1GU. Mon Sep 22 13:19:27 2008 No.1349740 File: 29 KB, 200x228, 1222089567692.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >I ran 5 miles

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 13:19:58 2008 No.1349742 >fucked my girlfriend Yukari You mean master.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 13:20:45 2008 No.1349745 should have been "flew 5 miles" because touhous are too lazy to run. Anyway nice effort.

Anonymous Mon Sep 22 13:23:12 2008 No.1349756
File: 151 KB, 480x800, 1222089792009.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

/n/ to /Ran/:

Sup /Ran/, This morning when I woke up, I rode 100 miles just for kicks, ate breakfast, played with my bike, fixed my bike, worked on the bike im building, fucked my bike, paid bike shop for the bike I bought from them, ate some energy bar, then cleaned my bike.

What did you do /Ran/? Schlick to ideas of me riding my bike? Hah, I love /Ran/; You slutty fat bitch, you make me skip red lights

-Love, /n/

Pic related: it's my bike

Anonymous Mon Sep 22 13:34:53 2008 No.1349782
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/cat/ to /jp/:

Sup /jp/, This morning I didn't wake up, slept for 5 more hours, ate breakfast, went to sleep, ate lunch, worked on annoying my master by sleeping on his newspaper, threw up on my master's bed, went to sleep, ate dinner, then went to sleep.

What did you do /jp/? Do something other than sleep? Hah, I love /jp/; You fat pathethic...

zzz

Anonymous Mon Sep 22 13:41:17 2008 No.1349803
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You know, I'm starting to wonder. Maybe it's actually an honest truth, that the majority of people on Earth are simply desperately unattractive virgins.

Here's a message to all you fucking losers on /jp/ who're fapping to Touhou pictures - There are people out here, people like me, that have sex with girls. In reality. You might not actually be a virgin, but the one overweight redheaded Naruturd you nailed while you were doing a Japanese language course at the local community college doesn't count - you'd be crushed in her bull-like stampede as she rushed to fall to her knees should a true man like myself even show her the slightest sniff of attention.

There is a man-and-a-half, such as myself, who have slept with a good number of Gensokyo women. I don't get to fuck every woman I see, I don't feel like doing it, but I am in a position where I can choose from a number of visiting customers who are offering their bodies for my wares. They say that 90% of the girls want 10% of the men - I am that 10%, because I am the only one.

I'm hot. I'm tall. I'm hereditarily predisposed to having a perfect body. I put on a bit of weight? It sits just fine. I'm knowledgable and charming. When I talk to girls, I'm confident and in charge. When I'm talking to girls, arousal fills my heart, not the gut-wrenching fear of getting eaten or blasted to pieces

And as for you? You masturbate to fan-made depiction of Gensokyo women that never can exist. You have failed. You have failed. You have failed.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 13:43:45 2008 No.1349811 Ran is more man than Kourin could ever be

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 13:51:19 2008 No.1349828 File: 102 KB, 565x800, 1222091479165.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1349803 All men wanna be me.

Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:04:24 2008 No.1349883
File: 105 KB, 600x700, 1222092264786.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm an Alpha male /jp/.

And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That shrine maiden you like who looks kinda wierd in a cute way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps staying in that deserted shrine for reasons you don't understand? The one who crashes into your house at 1 am to cry about why no one has donated to her shrine in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond her armpits?

Yeah, I'm fucking her.

The hot maid who won't even look at you when you nod at her and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the mansion and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with fixing the furnitures, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.

The ronery girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays with dolls on her table, and lives alone, and acts tsundere? She's so iresistable and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked my Sexy Beam off and told me she'll always love me?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:08:50 2008 No.1349903 >>1349883 I miss this copypasta.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:10:36 2008 No.1349916 >>1349883 This is why I refuse to migrate to Gensokyo once LHC has been activated ;_;

Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:11:15 2008 No.1349919
File: 133 KB, 400x480, 1222092675282.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Dear /jp/,

Yesterday, I accidentally walked in on my little shikigami (she's 11) masturbating to my pictures of herself on my Mac. I told her that masturbation is good and that everyone does it, and she was fine with that. /jp/, is there anything else I need to tell her? Sex education here is in Gensokyo is fucking lame, and I don't want Yukari to tell her anything false or molest her...

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:14:49 2008 No.1349935 >>1349919 I have never masturbated to myself. I wish I could.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:15:38 2008 No.1349941 I have masturbated to myself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:16:19 2008 No.1349944 If you masturbate to yourself, you're gay.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:19:41 2008 No.1349969 >>1349944 Detective Anonymous on the case again.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:36:08 2008 No.1350068 >>1349944 What if you are both genders are you double gay?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 22 14:38:21 2008 No.1350077 >>1350068 Yes, it makes you double gay.

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