/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:18:04 No.11982920 [Reply] [Original]

IT HAPPENED!
You are not sure how this was possible or why you were chosen but it finally happened!

A bit of backstory though, this day your parents both left the house for the day, leaving you alone to tend to it, kinda like every other day to be fair.
However you received a unexpected visitor, that's right, your favorite Touhou decided to take a stroll through the human world and ended up knocking at your door.

Even if unsure between "Oh God! YES!" and "Am i going insane?" you greet the Touhou in your home and start chatting between a cup of tea and some biscuits.

Hours fly like the wind while you both get to know the other's world and life and soon the day ends, the first stars beginning to fade in the sky.

But that's not all, it seems that your guest wouldn't mind spending the night at your homestead, and by the tone of her voice looks like she likes you and might decide to stay.
In other words: SCORE!!!

But the happiness in your mind subsides when you hear the door being unlocked and it hit you like a freight train going at 300 mph.

How are you going to explain your guest to your parents? If you tell them she's a supernatural creature from Japan they might send you to the funny farm, call a exorcist or even worse, the cops from which follows the army and the MiB, and nobody wants that.

So /jp/, what will you say?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:32:04 No.11982949 I started typing out a "realistic" response but then I came to my senses

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:33:04 No.11982950 File: 53 KB, 334x281, cocksluna.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] tl;dr

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:34:04 No.11982955 does my headcanon count?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:35:04 No.11982956 Big teal, I'll tell them she's a friend I've met on the Internet.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:36:04 No.11982958 [X] Jump into lake

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:36:04 No.11982960 I like this scenario

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:37:04 No.11982962 >>11982920 What if I don't live with my parents?

>>	Anonymous of Alabama !.p44NyTsCo Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:37:04 No.11982965 File: 401 KB, 571x758, 1363899672920.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11982955 >headcanon That is called a skullgun, sir.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:40:04 No.11982972 I'll just tell them she's my girlfriend.

>>	Anonymous of Alabama !.p44NyTsCo Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:42:04 No.11982980 >>11982972 They will believe that least of all of your other options. They would probably believe that she's from another universe before they'd believe that.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:42:04 No.11982981 >>11982958 >frozen lake RPG memories How long has passed... i'll make scrambled eggs for dinner

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:44:04 No.11982986 >>11982920 How did I talk to her for hours if I can't speak moon?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:46:04 No.11982991 I have a farm?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:46:04 No.11982993 >>11982986 Maybe she can speak English like Remilia and Yukari.

>>	Anonymous of Alabama !.p44NyTsCo Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:48:04 No.11982997 >>11982993 If it's Remilia, I OTL. This worked last time.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:49:04 No.11983000 >>11982986 Remi speaks English

Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:58:04 No.11983015

>>11982920
Before my parents come back, I'd ask Remilia if I can go back to Gensokyo with her. It's fine for me because if Remilia really does like me, according to this scenario, she'd be happy to be my guardian against those who would want to harm or eat me.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 13:59:04 No.11983018 >>11982986 >>11983000 Remilia speaks Japanese, Romanian, Latin, English, maybe some German, French, and Russian. She's a very learned vampiress.

Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:02:04 No.11983024
File: 231 KB, 505x458, CharacterKoishi.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11982920

Sucks too have succh restrictive parents. I'll just tell then she's a friend and they'll have no problems of her staying. And even if they say no she will convince then otherwise because pic related.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:03:04 No.11983025 >>11983018 What else are you gonna do with all that time and huge library?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:05:04 No.11983027 File: 90 KB, 374x400, 1385164411370.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Bend over and let Yukari fuck my ass in front of them

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:07:04 No.11983031 >>11983027 s-source?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:12:04 No.11983043 File: 522 KB, 670x707, 1395339141814.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11983031

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:23:04 No.11983060 > you greet the Touhou in your home and start chatting between a cup of tea and some biscuits. Now I know this story is false. I hate tea, it sucks the shit right out of my fuck.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:23:04 No.11983063 File: 24 KB, 480x360, Touhou.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I think they'd be happy to have Yuuka around, since both of my parents are very much into gardening.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:24:04 No.11983064 File: 609 KB, 1080x1250, 1318628394602.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Just tell them she's a lady friend I met, they'd be so happy they wouldn't care what she looked like.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:29:04 No.11983076 >>11983064 I think they would be worried if you claimed a girl who looks under eight (90% of Touhous) was your girlfriend.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:30:04 No.11983078 >>11983076 Lady friend =/= Girlfriend.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:30:04 No.11983081 >>11983078 When you say, "a lady friend I met" that sounds like you were picking her up as a date.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:33:04 No.11983085 Shove her in the closet and wait until they go away!

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:34:04 No.11983087 >>11983031 http://exhentai.org/g/599125/0f7e0335e8/ NSFW obviously

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:35:04 No.11983088 File: 678 KB, 1540x889, 1395340526189.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11983076 Hey, if we're talking about fantasies, they're all older ladies.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:39:04 No.11983097 >>11983088 You have dull government approved fantasies.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:48:04 No.11983119 >>11982920 >your favorite Touhou decided to take a stroll through the human world and ended up knocking at your door. But I never open my door

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 14:49:04 No.11983123 >>11983119 She forces her way in then.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:02:04 No.11983159 File: 1.74 MB, 1000x1415, 1383626200733.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] But I don't live with my parents OP. not that I'd get to that stage, halfway through the conversation i'd be in a certain fiery place.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:02:04 No.11983160 But I don't want to have sex with them. I'll just tell them to go away if they don't I will call the police on them.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:11:04 No.11983173 I'll ask her to take me to Gensokyou, if possible. And if she can't, maybe ask for some means to keep in touch. And if she can't even do that, I'll just ask her to leave.

Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:18:04 No.11983190
File: 1.43 MB, 938x1273, 1395343112332.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'd tell them she's my girlfriend and will stay for a bit.
But my room is messy as fuck and I don't have an extra bed.
We could make a deal: I clean my room and let her sleep in my bed while I'll use a mat and in return she will get me into Gensokyo when she decides to go home.

That would never happen though, because I would stutter and blush like an idiot and generally be super awkward because I'm just too excited. And then Tenshi will make fun of me. Worth it, though.

Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:26:04 No.11983201
File: 96 KB, 420x248, want to engage in anal sex.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Mom, this is my friend's daughter. He asked me to look after her for a while. We have some pop tarts right? Anyways she will be staying in my room. Don't come in without knocking!

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:26:04 No.11983203 I would offer all my family and friends as sacrifices to win her favor. She would gnaw on their bones and drink their blood.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:30:04 No.11983211 >>11983203 Which touhou is your favorite?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:41:04 No.11983231 is /jp/ just another version of /mlp/? this worried me last nite.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:43:04 No.11983235 >>11983231 They are more similar than different, that's for sure.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:47:04 No.11983244 My parent's house has a nice guestroom. I'll tell them that she's my friend and they will be thrilled that I actually have a friend and let her stay. Mokou is my favorite so they won't be concerned that I kidnapped a child.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 15:57:04 No.11983269 I live alone so don't mind really, the only bad thing would be that she take a loli form and everyone would think that I kidnapped a cute girl...

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 16:31:04 No.11983337 She has big wings...

Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 16:34:04 No.11983347

>>11983203
How cruel! If I was lucky enough to successfully summon Rumia, using her as a tool to achieve my most selfish desires would be reprehensible!

Obviously offering yourself up your body as a snack and your soul as an eternally-devoted servant is the only honourable option.

With that being said, there are some people in my city that I would like to see disappeared before we leave for Gensokyo.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 16:54:04 No.11983384 >>11983231 Touhou wasn't made for children

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:15:04 No.11983424 Just dropping that if you want to, you can always learn to astral project and meet your 2hus.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:15:04 No.11983426 File: 171 KB, 344x410, hhh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11982920 "Hi, mom and dad, this is Yukari Yakumo, a friend of mine from college."

Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:17:04 No.11983432

>>11983424
Please don't ban me for saying this mods! It's what i heard from people that managed to AP, i haven't tried it yet, but i'm sure that if people who hate anime have seen and interacted with anime characters, then i can do the same, with even better results...

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:26:04 No.11983446 See numbers up to 15 and backwards without reading them in your head.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:44:04 No.11983468 nazrin pls delete

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:47:04 No.11983475 File: 2.66 MB, 300x177, 1391439984484.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I love all tohos equally my house is pretty small, I don't think they'd all fit

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:52:04 No.11983483 >>11982920 I'd say she's my girlfriend to embarass her, then I'd say she's just a friend and that she's going to stay here a few days.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:53:04 No.11983484 >>11983468 Nazrin is a mouse.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 17:57:04 No.11983488 Calm down! Let's calm down...and start to count prime numbers...2,3,5,7...

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 18:27:04 No.11983537 >>11983488 11, 13, 17, 19

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 18:33:04 No.11983547 >>11983537 22, 25, 27, 30

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 18:36:04 No.11983555 File: 38 KB, 350x447, 1378472020_2593429_9277057.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 18:54:04 No.11983583 >>11982920 First, is she 2D 2hu that's somehow magically in the 3DPD world, while remaining in 2D? Second, does she have supernatural powers outside of Gensokyo?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 19:11:04 No.11983629 Kill parents. Burn the bodies.

Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 19:21:04 No.11983653
File: 216 KB, 643x900, 1380328353604.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>11982920
Jokes on you!
My mother thinks costume play looks cool, and is extremely polite when we have guests!
If I have enough aptitude to converse for hours, I'll continue my adventure in my own room.

>by the tone of her voice looks like she likes you and might decide to stay.
This is a dangerous assumption!

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 19:27:04 No.11983668 I can't decide on a favourite 2hu.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 19:28:04 No.11983672 >>11983201 You colorblind...

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 19:51:04 No.11983707 I might try to hide her. If that wasn't possible, I'd say it's an acquaintance of mine who came to show me her cosplay. It would still be a very weird situation to my parents because I don't normally have visitors, but... yeah.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 20:07:04 No.11983736 File: 424 KB, 593x850, 39947582_p21.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I live alone, so I wouldn't have any explaining to do. But I would set out immediately to find a way to return her.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 20:22:04 No.11983759 >>11983736 Please keep it.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 20:51:04 No.11983819 My house is big and has 3 stories. They don't have to know. Even if I had to tell them they'd probably be happy I'm not gay. Though my dad said he'd be fine with it. Why do they think I'm gay?

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 20, 2014 21:29:04 No.11983893 >>11983819 r u a grill...

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 01:46:04 No.11984330 File: 976 KB, 900x671, 1336411338893.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11983426 and then Yukari kills them and feeds her pets with their dead bodies..

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 02:20:04 No.11984393 In all seriousness, if I were to meet Rumia, I would enjoy slaughtering as many people, as many of the disgusting slovenly wastes of flesh that infest my city, hopefully she might grant me yokaihood so we can both take it easy.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 02:24:04 No.11984403 >>11984393 I wouldn't really enjoy it to be truthful I just feel that this city and world needs to be cleaned of all of its filth

Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 09:28:04 No.11985039

>>11983547
calm down little girl,
23, 29, 31, 37*,
41, 43, 47, 53,
59, 61, 67, 71,

more on topic, if I was in my little home, there would be no problem. If I was at the family home, my parents would ask me what I was doing with my little sister's friend... I would then answer that she is a college student, and while they are wondering if it's true or not I will go upstair and ask them not to bother us because we are working, then listen to gensokyo story all night long.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 09:36:04 No.11985053 Sadly, I think my parents would just be so happy that I actually have a friend they'd overlook the strangeness of it all.

Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 11:09:04 No.11985183

>>11985053
Wanted to say something along the lines of "i'm glad that at least i'm not in such a shit state", but then i realized that my parents would be enormously happy of me having any kind of friend, as long as i'm interacting with someone besides myself.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 11:25:04 No.11985208 my mom will ask me why am I hanging out with an albino

Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 11:44:04 No.11985247

I'll just be completely honest, and maybe throw in a wink or something. Years spent dealing with my actual crazy sibling, combined with years spent telling jokes like coming out of the closet and telling stories about semi-crazy friends, and they're likely to play along or ignore it.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 12:06:48 No.11985299 File: 1005 KB, 300x300, 1368050050363.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11985183 >>11985053 Don't worry, you have a friend Anonymous. It's me! I know I'm not much, but I try my best!

>>	A Faggot Fri, Mar 21, 2014 12:17:18 No.11985316 "Hey mom and dad, this is my friend. She was in the neighborhood and stopped by. Can she stay the night? Yeah? Alright cool, thanks" Life is easy when your parents aren't shit.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 12:40:48 No.11985346 This is me FRIEND. She will be STAYING OVER for a while.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 14:38:16 No.11985499 >>11985299 You sure about that? My favorite 2hu is Rumia and lots of people say I have shit taste. But I don't think I do!

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 14:44:31 No.11985506 >>11985499 Rumia is a good touhou.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 15:05:32 No.11985529 >>11985499 I'll be your friend even with your shit taste.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 16:39:00 No.11985696 >>11983231 I am awash in abject terror

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 18:09:51 No.11985854 >>11982920 [x] Genuflect.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 18:56:06 No.11985945 I'd probably say "Mom, I cloned myself and made a female Japanese version of me" Thankfully I look enough like Reimu to do that

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 18:56:35 No.11985941 >>11982920 OTZ

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 18:58:50 No.11985949 >>11985039 what the fuck am I reading

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 19:17:35 No.11985976 File: 275 KB, 377x391, Ohhhh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11982920 look Mom! My meat stick is going inside of her! ohhhh desire

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 20:25:51 No.11986128 >>11982920 I'm more worried about Yukari coming and getting into a fight with Reimu and leveling the city then explaining why Reimu is here. >>11985945 Do you crossplay as her?

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 20:50:05 No.11986154 theres no way id be able to carry a normal conversation with a girl at all

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 21:32:54 No.11986234 >>11986128 I wish, if I had the dress Thankfully, having Italian tomato blood means you are blessed with long brown hair

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 21:38:24 No.11986245 >>11983087 I fucking hate that sad panda.

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 21:42:24 No.11986258 >>11983025 Masturbate?

>>	Anonymous Fri, Mar 21, 2014 23:52:47 No.11986523 >>11982980 We don't appreciate bullying here especially not from a fucking tripfag

>>	Anonymous Sat, Mar 22, 2014 00:05:02 No.11986541 File: 79 KB, 512x512, 1393390894352.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] marisa's just a regular ol' witch though

>>	Anonymous of Alabama !.p44NyTsCo Sat, Mar 22, 2014 00:09:47 No.11986545 >>11986523 I wasn't bullying. Just stating a fact.

Anonymous Sun, Mar 23, 2014 15:56:03 No.11990501

>>11985945
Actually, now that I think about it, it probably wouldn't go over pretty well, my mother would just say "Well M****, if you can make a Japanese version of yourself, then why aren't you doing your work, and don't give me that whole 'I'm depressed' bullshit", and I'd just stand there speechless and crying a little, and my mother would probably say "Oh you're fucking faking it, if you do that again, I will fucking kill you and the rest of this house, stop trying to emotionally control people!", she'd leave the room and I'd probably close and lock the door. Then I'd probably just cuddle with Reimu, she probably doesn't understand English but I'm sure she would tell I'm in a bad mood and try to make me feel better, of course I'd be crying loudly, so my mother would say "Oh shut the fuck up!". Probably wait for nightfall when everyone's asleep to follow Reimu to Gensokyo, I'm sure she'll let me visit and some one there will teach me the ways of glorious Nippon, it's not like anyone will miss me.

I can't believe I typed that

>>	Anonymous Sun, Mar 23, 2014 16:11:18 No.11990539 If you make a roleplaying thread at least make it non-shitty

Anonymous Sun, Mar 23, 2014 16:26:48 No.11990576

>>11990539
>roleplaying

-To refer to the playing of roles generally such as in a theatre, or educational setting;
-To refer to taking a role of an existing character or person and acting it out with a partner taking someone else's role, often involving different genres of practice;
-To refer to a wide range of games including role-playing video game, play-by-mail games and more;
-To refer specifically to role-playing games.

>>	Anonymous Sun, Mar 23, 2014 17:01:17 No.11990668 >>11982920 I kill the 2hu #killallweebs #slaythegay #fuckroleplayers #rapeneets

Anonymous Sun, Mar 23, 2014 17:34:18 No.11990752
File: 33 KB, 819x832, the last one.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don't live with my parents, so the only thing that could happen is the utility guy or landlady opening the door, and... well...

... honestly I don't see things going so well for me, either.

>>	Anonymous Tue, Mar 25, 2014 15:08:36 No.11995087 >>11990752 >... honestly I don't see things going so well for me, either. why not

>>	Anonymous Tue, Mar 25, 2014 15:29:06 No.11995122 >>>/touhou-project/ Fuck off.

>>	Anonymous Tue, Mar 25, 2014 15:50:22 No.11995151 >>11990752 That skull looks quite dry for it to have any blood left.

>>	Anonymous Tue, Mar 25, 2014 20:15:44 No.11995699 god i wish i were nipon

Anonymous Tue, Mar 25, 2014 22:07:52 No.11995969

Well first I would greet her with a cup of coffee and a bagel, if she so wants.
Then I would answer any questions she might have and welcome her to America.
Afterward we might engage into a philosophical debate and inevitably she will intellectually dominate me and my high school level debating and reasoning skills, leaving her to be the victor.
Finally she would leave before my parents ever come home, calling me a troglodyte and a subhuman, not worthy of her time. I would later masturbate to the experience.

>>	Anonymous Thu, Mar 27, 2014 00:57:02 No.11998399 my parents are dead

>>	Anonymous Sun, Mar 30, 2014 02:42:07 No.12005174 >>11982920 "Hi, this is Yuuka, she's someone I met from anime club and she's trying out her cosplay." "As Yuuka."

>>	Anonymous Sun, Mar 30, 2014 15:30:01 No.12006507 hey this is ran she's spending the night is that cool they'd probably be cool with it

>>	Anonymous Sun, Mar 30, 2014 15:36:01 No.12006526 I could not possibly explain Ran so I just wouldn't explain anything and see if they just go with it I'd say she's my math tutor or something and avoid bringing up that she's staying the night or has tails and ears.

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