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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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File: 75 KB, 600x800, Yuuka's Christmas.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11708253 No.11708253 [Reply] [Original]

Merry Christmas, /jp/. Open your present.

>> No.11708261 [DELETED] 

With pleasure!

*unzips dick*

>> No.11708266

Can I return it?

>> No.11708278

You got a zipped dick as a present? How cute.

>> No.11708279

Sure, but you might catch a severe case of death by doing so.

>> No.11708283


Wow, what a surprise!
I won't return it, then!

>> No.11708290

If you said that, Yuuka would try to keep a straight face, but then run away and start crying. Please don't upset Yuuka!

>> No.11708330

Uhh... is my present bees? Or spiders? Or bees riding spiders? Or bees carrying spiders then throwing them at you?

>> No.11708338

I'll give you a hint: it's big, bouncy, soft, and you get 2 of them!

>> No.11708348

There's also a gift card good for one act of intercourse.

>> No.11708350

She's gonna give me boobs? She better turn me into a girl too.

>> No.11708356
File: 269 KB, 831x911, 1375319821162.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11708360

No, silly! She's giving you her boobs, for a session of, well, whatever you want. You can snuggle them, squeeze them, suck them, etc.

>> No.11708363

Well then I choose to breastfeed from them!

>> No.11708366

I get to have her boobs? Do I get the rest of her body as well? Do we swap bodies for one night or something?

>> No.11708371
File: 235 KB, 655x788, 1387060678580.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Paizuri with Hikage?

>> No.11708368

I hope her milk tastes like eggnog!

I'm sure she'd let you play with her, within reason. She'd probably let you slap her fat butt, and touch her feet, etc

>> No.11708374


No, that's lewd.

>> No.11708376

Would she let me smell and lick her butt?

>> No.11708386

Hello ninja Yuuka.

>> No.11708418

Okay, where is it?

>> No.11708433

Under her shirt.

>> No.11708446

Why would she hide it from me if its a present?

>> No.11708445


But I don't see a box.

>> No.11708475

It's supposed to be a surprise!

>> No.11708499

I don't like surprises.

>> No.11708508

What if it's a nice surprise?

>> No.11708516
File: 1.36 MB, 1200x1600, 1387063897077.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Santa Yuuka is best.

>> No.11708522

I don't like the surprise part of it, doesn't matter what it is.

>> No.11708527
File: 1.08 MB, 864x1200, 32307862.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'd give her a present, if you know what I mean.

>> No.11708528

Dora e really needs to finish that Eirin comic.

>> No.11708529

Woah, that's sad, dude

>> No.11708532

I just don't like them.

>> No.11708537

I wonder if something bad involvin a surprise happened to you

>> No.11708538
File: 92 KB, 500x600, yuuka santa1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I do. Can't you just give her something normal?

>> No.11708541

But a hug is pretty normal.

>> No.11708543

Nope, I just don't like surprises.

>> No.11708549
File: 123 KB, 880x684, yuuka santa3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Oh. Well nevermind, that's ok.

>> No.11708571

Id give her some Christmas sausage!

>> No.11708577

Id like to give her a warm snuggle session by the fire.

>> No.11708575

I've never heard of that.
What does it taste like?

>> No.11708578 [DELETED] 

The best present of /jp would be a different janitor because holy shit, this one is so bad.

>> No.11708582
File: 136 KB, 600x800, 15433734.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

A date with Yuuka would be the best present of all.

>> No.11708584
File: 337 KB, 1200x900, I'm driving Yuuka!.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Driving Yuuka to town for a nice, brisk Christmasy walk around.

>> No.11708588

Why is that car the wrong way around?

>> No.11708601
File: 229 KB, 750x451, 1300993047181.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>I'm driving Yuuka!

>> No.11708608

Well, after a date with Yuuka, she may want to have sex with you.

>> No.11708616
File: 62 KB, 348x338, miko.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

What a shit present, Why Santa hates me?

>> No.11708622

But big squishy Yuuka meatfat to fondle and play with sounds like like an awesome present to me...

>> No.11708633

That's a wonderful present!
Now if it was Yukari, it'd literally be the best present in existence for me!

>> No.11708653
File: 39 KB, 293x260, miko (2).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Well you're right, it could be worse.

At least isn't the green-haired slut.

>> No.11708665
File: 250 KB, 600x800, yuuka58.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11708677

If I take off the bow, I might accidentally touch Yuukas breasts...

>> No.11708736


But I don't want to!

>> No.11708769


>> No.11708897

What if I'm not into casual sex?

>> No.11708909

Its hardly casual if its a strictly regulated service requiring access cards.

>> No.11708919

It is still outside the context of a loving relationship.

>> No.11708948
File: 498 KB, 631x1100, yuuka stare.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Is it?

>> No.11708972

What if your present is a loving relationship with Yuuka?

>> No.11708993

I think that would work... as long as this isn't the scary Yuuka that turns me into a sunflower.

>> No.11708997

It's the kind and loving Yuuka that would only be dangerous to you if you'd do something really bad first.

>> No.11709013

Please do not sexualize Yuuka.

>> No.11709067

But she's literally asking to be sexualized by wrapping her breasts up in such a lewd manner.

>> No.11709073

What's so bad about being a sunflower?

>> No.11709082

She can't help that she has breasts there!

>> No.11709090

Normally I wouldn't like it but being Yuuka's precious sunflower that she lovingly cares for every day sounds strangely appealing.

>> No.11709100

Yeah, I mean, she's a female girl. She has a vagina too, even.

>> No.11709122

That means she has a clitoris, womb, and maybe even a hymen!

>> No.11709131

Isn't she supposed to be a plant? Why does she have mammalian features?

>> No.11709136
File: 689 KB, 850x1000, 1387079926302.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Because she's not a plant or suppose to be, she's a girl/woman/lady/youkai.

>> No.11709160

Does she have a pistil or stamen? Or both?

>> No.11709168

plant youkai are still plants.
the "human" appearance is just a pleasant abstraction ZUN chose

>> No.11709174

Yuuka is a lady.

>> No.11709187

curse youkai are not curses
gap youkai is not a gap
darkness youkai is not dark

>> No.11709191
File: 861 KB, 740x1046, yuuka18.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yuuka isn't a plant, she just has powers over them.

>> No.11709198

Is this the degeneracy thread?

>> No.11709199

I heard she's an overgrown fairy, like what Cirno is going to turn into if she keeps being the strongest

>> No.11709210
File: 670 KB, 1000x1300, 1387081542304.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

can the present be the cleaned out backend instead??

>> No.11709229
File: 816 KB, 1140x1140, 40192910.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I want to smoke a blunt with Yuuka

>> No.11710192

If Yuuka is a plant, does she grow if I water her?

>> No.11710221

where's the present

>> No.11710300
File: 476 KB, 820x615, 1362943811155.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Me too!
In a nice and warm sunflower field together as we watch the sun set.

>> No.11710343

I think you're supposed to undo the bow and open the buttons. It's some fancy wrapping

>> No.11710344

I swear they keep making this child-proof packaging more and more complex.

>> No.11710442

I always tear my presents open

>> No.11710456
File: 335 KB, 600x600, 1368286821617.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

But you''d tear Yuuka's beautiful outfit if you did that!
I don't think she would be very happy about it...

>> No.11711018
File: 204 KB, 600x600, 31956346_big_p4.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Make sure you water her everyday!

>> No.11711021

Does sprinkling her with semen count?

>> No.11711027
File: 877 KB, 1400x1411, 33130595.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Probably, but I don't think Yuuka will be happy about that.

>> No.11711028

I wouldn't even think about doing anything that would displease her.

Despite the fact that I just asked about something that would probably displease her.

>> No.11711039
File: 395 KB, 1024x1024, 39199055.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You're a good person, I think.

>> No.11711041

Thanks, I think.

>> No.11711419
File: 2.39 MB, 3268x4457, 1334638786995.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

can i please get a Christmas holo?

>> No.11711452
File: 30 KB, 588x663, flower yuuka.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11711492


No, it's either Yuuka or charcoal. Your choice.

>> No.11711499

Well, then i really hope she doesn't get psycho on me during the stay.

>> No.11711504

I'll take the charcoal, Yuuka a shit

>> No.11711506

Nice one dude.

>> No.11711527
File: 134 KB, 500x500, 1380304352180.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11711529
File: 357 KB, 690x1000, 1387142086072.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You mean I can pick Mokou instead? Sign me up!

>> No.11711550

Her tits aren't normally that size so she has to be hiding something big in there. I'd ask her why she chose to put them in her shirt instead of a box or something.

>> No.11711589

She watered them every day just for you.

>> No.11711599
File: 304 KB, 700x1050, 1359467191017.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

She knew I liked big tits?
That's pretty dedicated of her to do!

>> No.11711604

She really loves you, Anon. You better return that love.

>> No.11711654

I'd snuggle with her and rub her feet.

>> No.11711685

If she loves me so much, will she buy me a house?

>> No.11711719

Please do not misuse the spoiler function.

>> No.11711768
File: 112 KB, 600x900, 1359468077712.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I do! I do!

>> No.11711779
File: 611 KB, 1000x1000, 1351938446839.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

No, but she'll let you stay at her place!
She's got a cool mansion to sleep in.

>> No.11711783

Will she let me wear that hat?
This is a very important question.

>> No.11711784
File: 485 KB, 1000x1000, 1328487984062.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Sure. But only because it's you!
Yuuka's so powerful that she doesn't need her hat to survive.

>> No.11711800

I do not feel worthy of her love...

>> No.11711929
File: 307 KB, 850x1202, Miss Yuuka!.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Sex with Yuuka!

>> No.11711971
File: 558 KB, 700x800, 1387153083024.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11711989
File: 668 KB, 723x1024, 1387153576862.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I want to cuddle with Yuuka on a cold winter night.

>> No.11712408


Why are tongue out pictures so arousing?


Would be the worst student so I could stay after every calss and sniff Yuuka sensei's seat every time she got up and wasn't looking

>> No.11712413

But if you are the best student then she will let you sniff her directly and have tender loving intercourse with her.

>> No.11712418

Why not just be average and beg Yuuka sensei for sexual experience.

>> No.11712427

If I was Yuuka, I'd have sex with all my students, regardless of grades.

>> No.11712439
File: 503 KB, 800x1002, 40310832.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Months later.

>> No.11712731

Would she let me smell her feet?

>> No.11714009

She would let you smell any part of her you want to.

Is it weird to want to be Yuuka and get tenderly loved and end up pregnant with the child of my beloved?

>> No.11714131

That depends, are you gay?

>> No.11714321


>> No.11714339

Then it probably is weird, but who wouldn't want to be Yuuka, she's great.

>> No.11714345

I guess the better question would be "is it bad?" rather than "is it weird?"

Though to me not wanting to be Yuuka comes across as weird.

>> No.11714351

shut up fag, just because you've got the stomach of a pregnant woman doesn't mean you know what it's like to be one

>> No.11714368

I'm not even that guy, and I'm just talking about wanting to be Yuuka in general.

>> No.11714747

What would you do if you were Yuuka?
I would first make a clone of myself and begin having sex with my clone.
Then after cleaning up, I'd go bully Reimu or Marisa and end the day with watering all my flowers.

>> No.11714758

I'd give Wriggle a footjob.

>> No.11714764

But Wriggle is a girl.

>> No.11714769

You can give girls footjobs too!

>> No.11714771

I'd lock Wriggle in a porta potty.

>> No.11714776


>> No.11714779

What does ❤ sound like /jp/?

>> No.11714782

A sexual moan.

>> No.11715112
File: 1.01 MB, 1500x1250, SUIT YUUKA!.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I love Yuuka~

>> No.11715136
File: 112 KB, 1000x800, hard_boiled_2hus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

There should be more touhous in suits. Preferably accompanied by gritty stories about the seedy underbelly of Gensokyo and the cheapness of (human) life.

>> No.11717720
File: 59 KB, 744x723, Clipboard01.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yuuka needs to shave.

>> No.11717738

It's nice like that. Not too much, just perfekt

>> No.11717753
File: 391 KB, 520x600, 1340353595772.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

no she don't

>> No.11717806

I'm not a fan of this, but I'll allow it if it's Yuuka.

>> No.11717819
File: 260 KB, 684x1068, yubush21.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11717947
File: 346 KB, 805x1137, Yeah! Take it off!.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Show us your big bouncy bare breasts!

>> No.11717976
File: 188 KB, 600x600, 31956346_big_p0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11718064
File: 386 KB, 1000x800, 18543006.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I want Yuuka to show me her smile!

>> No.11718085
File: 141 KB, 300x303, 1344922978391.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.11719319

Why are there no doujinshi of Yuuka using her clone during sex?
Think of all the possibilities!

>> No.11719324
File: 826 KB, 1407x2000, 006.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

It's been done. Well, her getting dominated by a genderswap of her.

>> No.11719340

>Yuuka getting dominated.
I can't like this.

>> No.11719344

It's her (well, him) dominating herself, what's not to like?

>> No.11719364

The female (normal) Yuuka should dominate the male one.

>> No.11719395

Doujin artists don't play games.

>> No.11719597

Some of them do, but usually not ones that draw porn. Even less so for the PC-98 games where that ability appeared.

>> No.11719767

I don't think I've seen more than 2 H-doujinshi that have Flandre using four of a kind, so it's probably the former.