/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

I feel so honored to be the first reply. All of my hard work and dedication has paid off. Posting the first response has been a dream of mine for many years, and I would like to thank those who have helped me along the way. First and foremost I would like to thank Kami-sama for giving me this opportunity. Next I would like to thank my parents. I want to thank my cat Lola, for being really fat and always there for me. I would also like to thank my pet tadpole for surviving against all odds for over a week. Next I would like to thank the squirrel that lives in my backyard for climbing trees because that gives me the inspiration that I need to get through the day. I also want to think ZUN for giving me 2hus to beat in my 2hu games. This is a special moment in my life and I would like to thank any of my unmentioned friends and family that have helped me along the way. This moment will be a moment that I will never forget. I just remembered a few other people I would like to thank; Satori, the fish i caught in the third grade, my light in my room because I wouldn’t be able to see the keyboard without it, the internet for letting me go on 4chan, my house because without it I would be homeless, and last but not least I would like to thank all the people out there that actually took time out of their day to read this. I cannot stress how much of a big deal to me this is. I have been trying to be the first reply on a post for years, but that has not been possible until this amazing day. Hopefully my good luck will continue, but this is undoubtedly a rare occasion. If you asked me how I did this, I would say, you can achieve anything you set your mind on. To all the /jp/sies out there reading this, I would like to tell them to follow their dreams. Being the first reply is amazing, thank you everyone!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365443
congratz man

[Anonymous No.]

>I feel so honored to be the first reply. All of my hard work and dedication has paid off. Posting the first response has been a dream of mine for many years, and I would like to thank those who have helped me along the way. First and foremost I would like to thank Kami-sama for giving me this opportunity. Next I would like to thank my parents. I want to thank my cat Lola, for being really fat and always there for me. I would also like to thank my pet tadpole for surviving against all odds for over a week. Next I would like to thank the squirrel that lives in my backyard for climbing trees because that gives me the inspiration that I need to get through the day. I also want to think ZUN for giving me 2hus to beat in my 2hu games. This is a special moment in my life and I would like to thank any of my unmentioned friends and family that have helped me along the way. This moment will be a moment that I will never forget. I just remembered a few other people I would like to thank; Satori, the fish i caught in the third grade, my light in my room because I wouldn’t be able to see the keyboard without it, the internet for letting me go on 4chan, my house because without it I would be homeless, and last but not least I would like to thank all the people out there that actually took time out of their day to read this. I cannot stress how much of a big deal to me this is. I have been trying to be the first reply on a post for years, but that has not been possible until this amazing day. Hopefully my good luck will continue, but this is undoubtedly a rare occasion. If you asked me how I did this, I would say, you can achieve anything you set your mind on. To all the /jp/sies out there reading this, I would like to tell them to follow their dreams. Being the first reply is amazing, thank you everyone!

[Anonymous No.]

>nerds thinking they can greentext

here's how it's done

>be fat weeb
>want to be first reply
>fail
>finally get it
>tfw
>fuckyear.jpg

[Anonymous No.]

>I feel so honored...
>...
>...is amazing, thank you everyone!

LOL

[Anonymous No.]

>nerds thinking they can greentext

>here's how it's done

>be fat weeb
>want to be first reply
>fail
>finally get it
>tfw
>fuckyear.jpg

[Anonymous No.]

>be 9-10
>go over to friends house
>we play touhou all night
>he suddenly says "if you suck my dick ill suck yours"
>suck his dick
>HAH NO DUDE IM NOT SUCKING YOUR DICK THATS GAY

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365473

[Anonymous No.]

great thread

[Anonymous No.]

>want to write witty and funny greentext stories like the crossboarders
>tfw have no humorous anecdotes from my life to relate
>tfw have no creativity to make up random bullshit like everyone does for greentext
>tfw can't remember trending buzz phrases like spaghetti or doing the dinosaur

>tfw failure at being a social failure on 4chan
>tfw still no gf

[Anonymous No.]

ironic shitposting is still shitposting

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365510
>/a/ro crossboarder memespouting
>mfw

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365450
>>11365456
>>11365462
>>11365463
>>11365473
>>11365475
>>11365515
>>11365431

[Anonymous No.]

>/jp/

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365523
Damn that kid needs to be saved from the internet.

[Anonymous No.]

>be 14
>find 4chan
>lolwut.jpg
>lurk for a while
>start to like gore and traps
>imokaywiththis.jpg
>start to fap to little sister
>be social recluse
>start watching animu
>find /a/
>get tired of /a/ and move to /jp/
>datfeelwhen.jpg
>shitpost all day
>mfw

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365523
Shit that kid is stylin as fuck.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365535
That inside-out blazer is just destroying my autism.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365545
Is it really inside out and not a different kind of coat? The mahjong tiles and fedora are a nice touch.

[Anonymous No.]

>playing 10.5 with a friend
>he says i suck at it
>tell him to suck my dick
>he says "ok, but you go first"
>just look at him trying to read if he is being serious
>he starts laughing and calls me a homo
>laugh nervously

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365548
Upon closer inspection, it may be some ridiculous tacky jacket, but it's hard to tell. If he actually folded the lapel-thing (I forget what it's called I think it's like knap or something) I'd have to hit him

[Anonymous No.]

>going to movies alone
>at home I get my mom to pack me spaghetti in a 2-liter bottle
>put it in my fanny pack
>decide to take the bus
>i ask the bus driver where the bus is going, he says something I don't understand
>I say "e-excuse me?"
>he says something and I still don't understand it
>I get on the bus anyway
>Bus takes me through the blackest of all ghettos
>a bunch of black people get on the bus, hooting and throwing their arms and fingers into various contortions
>I clutch my fanny pack and look away
>the walk past me and one says "LOOK AT DIS FAT WYTE MUTHAFUCKA, GOTS A RUG ON HIS NECK NIGGA WAT IS UP WIT DAT"
>I turn my entire body away and start shaking
>"AW SHIT WE SEEIN SUM CRACK BACK HEAH"
>my pants are exposing my butt
>spaghetti goes everywhere
>people being suffocated by it
>i'm terrified and begin to shit
>beautiful half-bowl medium-cream blast with foam on top, perfect wetness, perfect drape pattern, cornering and rounded drop splatter
>put the turds in my empty lunchbox and manage to escape the wreckage and get to school
>mom forgot to tell me its penis inspection day
>I'm first because I was late
>pull down pants revealing my 1 incher
>coach and kids begin to laugh
>their laughter pierces my soul
>lunch time
>sit alone because everyone calls me Centimeter Peter
>school slut and her friends walks by
>I offer her my lunchbox
>she opens it and sees the shit inside
>I ask her to marry me
>she bursts into treats
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>get expelled

[Anonymous No.]

>my mom throws new year party in our house
>she invites a bunch of her colleagues, about 10 people total
>some of them bring children with them, two guys and a girl all between 14 and 16
>hey anon play with the kids
>we play on my new ps3
>blush furiously every time the girl comes near me or takes the controller from my hand
>I know that it's obvious that i'm being nervous and people are laughing behind my back but can't do shit about it
>midnight comes
>the custom in my country is giving a kiss to the cheek after saying happy new year
>i'm standing in front of the girl
>freeze completely
>after 10 seconds start crying and run to my room
>close door behind myself
>I'm fucking 25
>after they all left my mother comes into the room, starts crying
>she tells me that all of her colleagues now think that she has a pathetic virgin manchild
>she considers quitting her job
>tells me that all she wanted as a normal child

[Anonymous No.]

Oh shit is this the memetexting thread? Let me prepare myself.

>lelelelelelelele
>my feel when
>that face when my kimochi
>filename.jpg
>six bong (the joke is it is british humor lol)
>Bulleted list item #1
>Bulleted list item #2
>Bulleted list item #3
>Bulleted list item #4
>Funny meme here

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365583

Koji kurac si rekao to ti meni mala kucko? Ja sam zavrsio vrx moje klase u mornarice i sam bio ukljucen u brojne tajne napadima Al kaedu i imam preko 300 potvrdzenih ubistava. Ja sam trenirao u gorile ratovanja i sam vrh snajperista u celiom americkih oruzanih snaga. Vi ste nista za meni. Ja cu vam obrisati odavde sa preciznoscu poput koji nikada niko nije ranije video na ovu zemlji, oznacite moju jebeni reci. Ti mislis da mozes se izvuciti govoreci to sranje preko interneta? Razmisli ponovo kretenu. Ja sam kontaktirao moju tajnu mrezu spijuna sirom SAD i tvojih IP se praca upravo sada, tako da se bolje pripremi za oluju. Oluju koja brise pateticnu sitnici koju ti zoves zivot. Ti si jebeno mrtav mali. Mogu biti bilo gde, bilo kada a ja mogu da te ubijem u preku sedam stotina nacina i to samo so golim rukama. Ne samo da sam intenzivno trenirao u goloruke borbe ali imam pristup celiom arsenalu marincima i ja cu ga koristiti u punoj meri da obrisem tvoje jadno dupe sa lice kontinenta. Ako samo mogao znati sta tvoi pametan komentar je mogao srusi na tebi mozda bi zadrzali svoj jebeni jezik. Ali nisi mogao i sad placas cenu. Hocu israti bes vrz tebi i ti ces se udaviti u njoj, Ti si jebeno mrtav klinac

[Anonymous No.]

Is this the blog thread?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365592
yes, how was your day?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365601

How was your day?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365604
you first

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365606
mother fucker you dont know who the fuck i am, you are a fag who likes sticking it in guys asses and you best believe that you'd be the one getting crammed in your fuckin rear by my Ukranian Fort-500 shotgun before i blow your fucking guts out your chest you faggit little bitch your fucking pathetic you best hope i never head to your town, i'll find yeah and shank you in your sleep, you wanna die motherfucker? faggit little cracker, hahaha I betyou aint ever even gotten and coochie, huh? ever got any pussy? i dont even keep count anymore, but it is definately past 35 cuz thats where i lost count bout a year or two ago, added a few since then, so ask yourseld, should your faggit no coochie gettin bitch ass maybe try to shut the fuck up, or do you want to hear more about how fuckin gay and lame you are? you cocksucking homo bastard go kill yourself you worthless chunk of shit, your useless and lame as fuck, and i cant wait to show your gay ass faggit no roastin abilities, you couldn't talk shit even if you ate shit, go slit your wrists you aint cool at all give up on your gay ass life

[Anonymous No.]

>be drunk and high at college party
>see girl passed out drunk
>black gentemen walks up
>puts his nutsack in her mouth and starts jacking off
>start to feel myself get aroused but continue to watch
>everyone cheers as he does this
>start cheering with everyone and egging him on
>he ejaculates all over her face and she doesn't wake up
>go home and sleep
>wake up and check twitter
>he posts a picture of her with his nuts in her mouth
>tfwnogf.jpg
>she sees picture and calls the cops
>black gentlemen goes to jail
>mfw

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365606
You first, I insist.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365582
lel

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365612
well okay. i woke up played some videogames until my friend came online, then i watched him jerk off and finger his ass on cam. i played more videogames and ate dinner with my family and now i'm here :~)

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365601
It was pretty nice. I went to the store and bought Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts and played that with my cousins before they left to spend the night at their older sister's house. My aunt also had people come to look at the water/flood damage to her house and they said she'd need to go in a rental house while the repairs were done. She asked me to move in with them in the rental house, wherever it may be. There are 13 people so it'd either need to be a very large house or a hotel or something. Ultimately I think nothing good would come from moving in with them so I will probably stay here.

It'd be nice to live with them, but I can just go over to the house when needed like I've been doing. The only way I'd move in is if I could guarantee being woken up by them jumping on me and noticing my morning wood. I'd lose the freedom to masturbate as I like and I feel like I'd be losing online privacy and the ability to make these posts.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365604

Today was the worst day of my life, my friend asked me if I wanted to suck his cock.
At this point my heart went into overdrive mode and I had never been so happy.
But then a minute later he told me it was just a joke and I should stop looking so serious.
I laughed it off and pretended I knew that, then I went home and cried in my bed.

I dont think I can face him again after this, it just feels like my heart has been broken.
I thought this would be my one chance to... Why did he have to be so serious when it was just a joke.

If only he knew how much I actually like him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365632
Also I stole a pair of panties earlier tonight. I'm not sure why. The timing seemed perfect and there probably wouldn't be another chance for a long while.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365637
>not greentext
>mfw

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365641
I am not a fag, sorry.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365638
were they used? or just a new pair

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365601
>go to Gamestop
>get stuck with a girl cashier
>she starts talking to me about the games I'm buying
>it's a bunch of weeaboo shit but she's weeb too
>talks to me for about ten minutes
>she's chubby but has decent tits
>started lifting months ago, so she probably wants the d
>act dismissive toward her because I could get better if I was into 3DPD
>she gets wetter
>finally am able to break free and leave store
>back home waste a bunch of time on 4chan and don't even play any of the games I bought today

>>11365638
Dirty ones, I hope. Not much point to clean panties.

[Anonymous No.]

Today I played Super Street Fighter II Turbo and Magical Drop 3 all day on GGPO. Who arcade otaku here?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365648
FUCKING GAMESTOP xDDDDDDDD

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365637
I'm in a similar situation. He's into traps but i still don't think i have a chance with him. I have to move back home today too.

Video games and music are helping a little.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365648
le stopgames face xD

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365645
Well they've been used; they have some sort of scent on them, but there are no stains or anything.

[Anonymous No.]

When I was 15 years old and I went to shit dad all the time, as it were accidentally spun around the toilet door and kept asking why am i so silent what am i doing there? The first time I did not answer, so he began pounding on the door and yelling, why are you so silent, what's wrong? began to swear and say thathe gonna remove the door from its hinges, also, Dad swore if I shit and do not wash off, and not just in the end of crapping, but directly after shitting out the poop, motivated by the fact that it stinks, and he then said to me: do as i am doing, drop the shit and wash off instantly!
One day I sat down to shit, and I hear, Dad stood at the door somewhere in the distance, so I wiped my ass, and bent down to the floor, to take a pick through the gap under the door, so I'm looked into the gap, and saw that there was Dad on standing on his knees starring on me through this gap! And he yelled at me: What the? THe fuck are you doing fucker? WHAT The FUCK are you doing there?
Dad by the way all the time, drink some herbs to shit more often, not less than 5 times a day, and then says that his ass is burning, and he farts all the time.
the real story. I do not troll

[Anonymous No.]

>you will never go to hakurei jinja meet reimu, pull down her miko robe and deposit your semen offering on her tits and in her mouth then zip your pants back up, go behind the jinja to find cirno playing in the pond at the back, and then she sees you and seductively beckons you over to her where she pulls down her cyan-colored panties and lets you stick your dick into vagina, but since her vagina is super icy cold, your dick turns into a popsicle and you lose all feeling in your dick and see that cirno has an embarrassed look on her face as you pull out and she starts crying but you don't care as you notice suwako at the edge of the pond playing with her frog friends and you run up to her and pull her shirt up and rub your frozen dick on her warm belly until it melts the ice off and then you cum on her stomach as she looks at you with a blushing face and as she promises she will never wash your cum off herself for all eternity then you go home with your flaccid dick to find your waifu marisa sleeping in bed where you will wake her up by jamming your re-hardened cock (because you got instantly hard again when you saw her naked sleeping body) into her while she is still sleeping and she will jump awake and be startled but will quickly start moaning and enjoying your cock inside of her as she begs for more and as you cum into her delicious pussy you both fall asleep after the really, really, reallly, really, best-in-your-lifetime sex ever only to wake up an hour later but with marisa still asleep you log onto the internet and post on /jp/ about your TruNEET lifestyle day that you just legitimately had recounting all the sexual experiences in detail that you had with reimu, cirno, suwako and marisa

[Anonymous No.]

>mfw not enough green in this thread

le voldemort.gif

[Anonymous No.]

أي اتجاه الشرق سيكون لديك ممارسة الجنس مع؟

[Anonymous No.]

JANNY

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365691
>>11365683
I ment this sand nigger

[Anonymous No.]

>>11365676
>shitskins on my /jp/

>>11365685
lmao nerd watcha gonna do the janiturd yo bitchass nigga
snitches nigga dats the shit i don like

[Anonymous No.]

You cunts may as well tell me which one of you started the whole "Kawaii Voice 'Meme'".