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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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11348500 No.11348500[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

I had sex once, can somebody unsex me I want to become a truWIZZARD

>> No.11348503

I need money to continue my NEET lifestyle and I have decided that the best way to do that is to sell my body to /jp/sies.

Rules (subject to change):
♥ No STDs
♥ No physical abuse
♥ No nasty fetish stuff like scat
♥ Must pay for travel and accomodation costs; travel costs and half the accomodation costs will be deducted from the total
♥ You can cum inside as many times as you like for one night
♥ You can pay for multiple nights in a row and get a discount
♥ You can invite more people; team up with another /jp/sie and pay half each!
♥ I will wear anything you like
♥ I will try my best to roleplay if that's your thing
♥ Filming is allowed and encouraged

I think for my first time since I'm still a virgin it will cost $1000 and after that $500 per night. Each extra night will cost $100 less but the minimum price is $100.

Are there any /jp/sies interested in my offer?

>> No.11348505

Is this the blogging thread? I have something to blog about.

My mom is about to have a baby and I've been an only child all my life. I'm excited and all that, but also really nervous.
Should I go with her when my sister starts to come out?

>> No.11348508

>>11348503
Where do you live? Also, would you consider lowering the price for a virgin? Consider that you are taking what you give.

>> No.11348509

>>11348505
>Going to have a sister
Your true life begins. Be thankful to god.

>> No.11348511

Is there anything I can buy at the pharmacy that will kill me, without a doubt? I don't think aspirin is guaranteed to work.

>> No.11348512

>>11348505
Child birth involves blood, lots of blood. An unbelievable amount.
Don't be in the same room if you're queasy.

>> No.11348513

>>11348511
nope

>> No.11348515

>>11348503
I don't get it, what do you have to offer aside from sex? I'm sorry but you don't sound that interesting.

>> No.11348517

>>11348508
>>11348515
It's pasta.

>> No.11348519

>>11348513
Are you sure? Even if I take a whole bottle?

>> No.11348525

>>11348519
all the "kill you if you take too much" stuff isn't on the shelves
you probably can kill yourself with some over the counter junk but it'd be slow and painful, not to mention you'd have to take a shit ton

>> No.11348529

>>11348511
There are several ways you can die from an aspirin overdose, and none are pretty. You can bleed to death from a stomach ulcer or from the effect that it has on your platelets. You can loose your hearing from the toxic effect that it has on your inner ear. It can cause your kidney to excrete too much potassium and bicarb resulting in a condition called metabolic acidsosis which will effect your breathing which will soon stop and you will die a painful death in respiratory failure if you live through the bloos loss.

>> No.11348530

>>11348529
Are you a suicide otaku?

>> No.11348533

>>11348511
You like vore kid, I can cook you and eat you, feels better than being drugged to death.

>> No.11348535

>>11348530
I'm a "copypaste from yahoo answers" otaku.

>> No.11348536
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11348536

I found a spider on my computer monitor when I came back.

>>11348519
Table salt can kill you.

>> No.11348537

>>11348536
>I found a spider on my computer monitor when I came back.
Squash it.

>> No.11348538
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11348538

>>11348537
I didn't want to kill it, I tried to capture it but it was a really fast spider. He ran onto the carpet and I can't find him.

>> No.11348542

>>11348538
Was it black and did it have a red hourglass on it's ass?

>> No.11348546
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11348546

>>11348542
No it wasn't a black widow. Small brown spider, probably an inch in length.

Not a very extravagant one.

>> No.11348548

Since this thread is going to die, suggest me a game I should make with the Remilia 3D model I managed to find.

>> No.11348549

>>11348503
>No nasty fetish stuff like scat

Fuck off

>> No.11348550

>>11348505
Make sure to let he/she browse /jp/ with you :))

>> No.11348551

>>11348548
What are you writing it in?

Duckhunt

>> No.11348554

>>11348551
Why do you even use a trip?
You're not even a good shitposter, just vaguely annoying and stupid like every other /v/ poster.

>> No.11348556

>>11348551
Writing it? I'm using Unity because I'm lazy if that's what you're asking.

>> No.11348557
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11348557

>>11348554
Spoiler made you that mad huh?

>> No.11348638

>>11348546
Brown recluse, those are deadly you know.

>> No.11348646

>>11348554
>/v/ poster
Takes one to know one.

>> No.11348843

>>11348536
>>11348538
>>11348546
>>11348551
>>11348557
how was your date 2kike

>> No.11348913

STOP BRAGGING!

>> No.11348951

I felt light-headed all day. It might have been related to blood sugar. Maybe someday I will develop diabetes and then I can
have the ultra-shitty triumvirate of asthma, schizophrenia, and diabetes. I'm sure that would be fun.

>> No.11348959
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11348959

>>11348951
Have you tried:

1) Drinking a lot of water
2) Eating something, particularly something nutritious with some salt
3) Getting enough air, sometimes you're not breathing as much as you should be.
3) Getting sleep

Not trying to be a smartass these always help me.

>>11348843
Kind of boring.

>> No.11348975

>>11348517
no....NOOOOOOOOO

>> No.11348979
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11348979

>>11348505
This is the blogging thread? Earlier today when I woke up my cousins were over and my aunt had asked me to make biscuits so I went into the kitchen and started. Like clockwork the second youngest followed and asked what I was doing, so I explained and had her help a bit. When they were done we went to my aunt's house where we had dinner, and then we folded paper on the table before folding some airplanes and going outside to fly them. After that we went back inside and as I was sipping on a bottle of water on the couch she came and started tickling me. Unsurprisingly I spit some out and it landed on her legs. She was wearing short shorts and made a sarcastically angry face while she looked between me and the mess on her legs. I told her it was her fault and she told me to dry her off. I wiped the water off with my hands, and then she went and got a mouthful of water and acted like she was going to spit it at me, but she didn't. Instead she held me down (my right arm behind her back, my left between her thighs) and she tickled me as punishment. She also wanted me to not do anything to see how long she could tickle me, so I did as she ordered. She eventually concluded that I lasted for 27 seconds. She also had me carry her around on my back again and kept making me pick things up off the ground with her on my back. When her aunt came to tell her to go to sleep she was already pretending to be asleep while holding onto me. My aunt told me to carry her to bed so I did, but when I got to her room it was locked with the third youngest in there, who kicked me out once I let her little sister down.

Last week a massager of sorts has appeared in their room. It's powered by a wall outlet. Before that thing appeared in their room, their door was never locked. I wonder if the third youngest is doing lewd things with it because she seems to act annoyed when I knock on her locked door when it's only her inside, and the thing was plugged in next to her bed.

>> No.11348984
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11348984

>>11348500

>> No.11349003
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11349003

>>11348500
I turned 30 on Saturday. I was going to go out to the bars by myself but the bus never showed up. Instead I'm going to see a band like Explosions in the Sky next Saturday. I'm going to get drunk as fuck and have a cab take me home.

Btw, I've never had a girlfriend.

>> No.11349009

I met a girl while I was in line at Walmart and we exchanged phone numbers. Now she wont stop texting me and keeps asking me when I want to go for dinner with her and do other activities with her. I don't know what I did or how I got myself in this situation, nor do I know how to get out.

>> No.11349010

>>11349009
Is she a loli?

>> No.11349014
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11349014

>>11349009
Do stuff with her homo.

>> No.11349016

>>11349010
No, she's like 5'7 and has average sized tits and a regular build. She's incredibly average looking. Maybe that's why she wasn't disgusted by me.

>> No.11349045

>>11349016
Take one for the team and have sex with her. Post observations as soon as possslible

>> No.11349059

>>11348549

SPONSORED LINK

>> No.11349069

>>11348500
no, you are fucked
hehe

>> No.11349076

>>11348503
I wish I had a cute /jp/sy to have sex with me. I've always /jp/ cum

>> No.11349091

>>11349009
Why aren't you paying for her food, clothing and entertainment?

>> No.11349174

>>11349016
Unless she has a little sister I suggest you stop talking to her right now.

>> No.11349184

I wish I could cum inside a cute jaypee girl.

>>
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